"I already feel♪
"Like doing it again, honey"
"Cos once you know, then you know"
"And you don't wanna go home"
"Back to wherever it is that you come from"
"I just wanna stay high♪
"With you"
"Cos where I come from"
"Everybody frowns and walks around with"
"That old ugly thing on their face"
- "Cos where I come from..." - Thank you.
- [BARISTA]: Ciao. - Bye.
"We work hard"
"And we grind and we hustle all day"
"There comes a time, there comes a time"
"At night, where we come to play"
"And we'll smiling, laughing"
"Jumping, clapping"
"Yelling and hollering"
"Just feel, just feel great, yeah"
"I just want to stay high with you"
- "With you" - [HE HUMS]
"Everything is everything"
"And everything is beautiful"
[SHE HUFFS]
"See, what I do is keep it cool"
"And not worry 'bout what everyone is doing now"
"I already feel"
"Like doing it again, honey"
"I just wanna stay high..."
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
"I just wanna stay high..."
[SHE SIGHS]
[SHE EXHALES DEEPLY] "I just wanna stay high with you"
"With you"
[IN IRISH ACCENT]: Hello! I'm Leo. You must be Nancy.
That's right.
- May I come inside? - Yes, of course. Yes, of course.
[DOOR CLOSES]
May I kiss you on the cheek?
Yes, that would be fine.
- You smell wonderful. - Thank you.
- What is it? - Coco Chanel.
Nigella Lawson wears it.
Ah, Nigella. So sexy.
Don't you agree?
Yes, no, I... I was waiting for you to say, "for her age".
Most people say, when a woman's over about 42, that she's sexy "for her age."
I was waiting... I was waiting for that.
Ah, right. Uh, no, Nigella Lawson is empirically sexy, at any age.
- Hey, Nancy? - Yes?
- We're gonna have a great time. - OK.
[LEO]: OK.
I tell you what I'd love right now...
- What? - A drink.
A drink, of course, of course. Sorry.
What can I get you?
How about a glass of fizz to ease us into the mood.
A glass of fizz. Hold on.
[SHE MUTTERS]
Allow me.
[CORK POPS]
- For you. - Thanks very much.
To being empirically sexy.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Yes. I'll drink to that.
[SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
A very fine vintage.
It's just from the minibar.
Oh, you meant me. [SHE STAMMERS]
- Me. - I'm just teasing.
- Righto, righto. - Shall we sit?
Yes, let's sit.
[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]
- So, what would you-- - So, you enjoy music...
by people?
Yeah, I do.
What kind of music do you like?
Oh, I don't know. All sorts, um...
Sorry, I'm a bit distracted cos, um...
cos up close you really are very good-looking.
- Mm. - Thank you.
Even more than in your photo.
Ah, I'm better in 3D.
[SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Mm.
I hope that you received, um...
...the contractual.
Oh, the money?
The money, yes, sorry.
I didn't want to be crass and just say it.
There's nothing crass about getting paid for your work, Nancy...
...trust me on that.
And thank you, it's all received.
- Are you Irish? - Yes, I am.
Have you been doing this long?
[HE CHUCKLES] A little while now, yeah.
Long enough to know some things.
Do you enjoy it?
You know what? I love it, Nancy.
Meeting all kinds of people, getting up to all sorts of things...
....mutual pleasure.
You don't feel... demeaned then?
Not at all.
- Or degraded? - No.
But what if you meet someone and you really just...
...don't want to do it?
Hasn't happened yet.
- Really? - Really.
I find that astonishing.
- How many have you... - Oh, a gentleman never tells.
Oh, of course, yes.
You don't have to worry, Nancy. This is just about us tonight.
So, what is your fantasy?
Um...
I'm not sure you could really class it as a fantasy as such.
It's a bit mundane for that.
OK, well, what would you most desire?
I mean, desires are never mundane.
[SHE EXHALES] Um...
...to have sex...
...tonight, um, with you.
That's about it, really. [SHE MUTTERS]
For the moment.
- Great. - But do you mind?
Do you want... I mean, am I...
[SHE SIGHS]
...a disappointment, so to speak?
OK?
- OK, OK. - Top-up?
Yes, please.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, I just can't bear the suspense.
Can... Could we...
Would it be alright if we just did it now?
Right now? And get it over with?
- Get it over with? - Yes.
You're meant to enjoy it.
No, I know that, I'm just not very good at waiting for things to happen.
I'm much better when they've happened and I'm... recovering.
You make it sound like it's an ordeal. It's not compulsory.
Shall we just sit and chat for a bit?
Oh no, I don't want to do that.
I don't think we'd have very much in common.
- You might be surprised. - I am very rarely surprised.
I like to plan things properly, specifically...
...in order to avoid being surprised, if I'm honest.
Fine, but I hope I can surprise you anyway.
N... No, I don't want anything like that.
Anything like what?
You know, anything perverted.
Oh, no, no, no. Not that kind of surprise.
Oh good, I don't like anything going in to places
that are designed for things to come out.
You're talking about anal sex?
I don't like that phrase.
Nancy, I won't be doing anything you don't want me to do.
I've never done anything like this before.
I've never bought anybody like this for my own...
- Pleasure. - ...use.
[HE SIGHS]
Nancy, listen to me.
- I choose to do this. - Yes. Right.
You know, you haven't bought me, you've bought my service.
I set a price and you agreed.
I'm not being exploited.
I can't bear the suspense. I can't bear it.
- The anticipation? - Yes...
...of disappointment.
Why do you assume you'll be disappointed?
Because I've always been disappointed before.
I need to... Well, actually, I'd like to tell you something.
OK.
I've never had an orgasm.
- With a partner? - With anyone.
- Or by yourself? - No. Not even by myself.
[SHE STAMMERS]: N... Never.
That's right.
Right. I see.
- It's not meant as a challenge. - I haven't taken it as one.
- Cos you won't be able to achieve it. - Fair enough.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Your confidence is endearing, and no doubt necessary to the job
...but I feel I must warn you it is misplaced.
Um, and I don't want you to feel bad about it
...because I won't be faking it. I don't do that. Not anymore.
Um, I made a decision after my husband died...
...never to fake an orgasm again.
When did he die?
Uh, two years ago. It was premature.
And is this your first...
Encounter since then?
Yes. In fact, if we do this, you will...
[SHE INHALES DEEPLY]
...only be the second man I have ever had sex with in my entire life.
There, I said it.
Well, thank you for telling me.
If you want to leave now...
...I'm very happy to pay half of what we agreed.
I don't want to leave, Nancy.
Nothing is making me want to leave.
I won't leave unless I'm clearly instructed to...
...or I feel I'm in physical danger.
- Has that ever happened? - Yeah. A couple of times.
- With a woman? - Yeah. Once with a woman.
Well, her husband, he thought... He wanted a threesome.
But it turned out he didn't.
- Did she? - No...
...but she did want to meet one-on-one a week later.
- And did you do that? - Sure.
- Wasn't that dishonest? - Of her?
Of you.
Why? I mean, I'm not the married one. I'm just doing my job.
Wow.
It's all quite an education.
I hope it continues.
You're being saucy.
"Saucy"? My grandmother used to say the word "saucy".
I'd rather not think about your grandmother right now
...if you don't mind.
- No problem. - I just... Anyway...
I just wanted to let you know about the orgasm thing.
I'm not expecting one, so um, you can relax.
- I am relaxed. - [SHE CHUCKLES]
This was a terrible idea.
Do you feel you're somehow betraying your husband?
His memory, I mean.
What? Oh no, no, no, no, no.
- No, it's nothing like that. - Then what?
It's just not very "me", I'm a teacher... Well, I was a teacher
I... I used to set my pupils essays...
...on the moral issues surrounding sex work and here I am...
- ...participating in it. - Nancy.
You're probably a very vulnerable young man, maybe you're an orphan.
I'm not an orphan.
Yeah, or perhaps you grew up in care, you've got very low self-esteem.
[LEO]: I didn't grow up in care.
You could've been trafficked against your will, you can't tell
- ...just by looking at somebody. - I wasn't trafficked against my will.
- Well, then I simply don't understand it. - You don't understand what?
Why you're doing this.
Oh. Oh, well, if you really want to know...
...I'm... I'm using the money I make doing this to save up for college.
Oh.
Oh, how wonderful. Are you really?
No.
Oh.
Nancy, you need to stop worrying about me...
- [SHE SIGHS] - ...let's move this back to you.
- OK. Oh, God. - Now, Nancy...
This is crazy, it's terrible, it's wrong. - Nancy.
My son... My son would be appalled.
- Nancy. - Yes.
- Let's go to bed. - OK.
OK?
- OK. - Good.
- Come here. - Mm-hmm.
[LEO]: Is this OK?
[NANCY MURMURS]
- OK? - Mm. Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Listen, er, if you, um, need to take anything
...that's fine by me.
I'm fine, Nancy.
I mean legal things, you know, to help...
- ...with it all down there. - No, I assure you, it all works.
I know, I mean, I just...
No, I know what you mean, but I don't need any little blue pills.
- Never? - Never.
But what if you don't fancy the person?
I mean, you can't force yourself, surely, if you don't.
There's always something to fancy.
- No, there isn't. - There is.
Oh.
What's the oldest person you've ever done it with?
That's a bit reductive, Nancy.
"Reductive", that's a good word. I like it.
Yes, it is a good word.
I'm glad you like it. I chose it just for you.
[SHE CHUCKLES] But seriously...
...actually I really do want to know, how old?
- Eighty-two. - Eighty-two?
- Yes. - Eighty-two!
- Yeah. - Eighty-two.
Nancy.
- OK, I'm feeling a bit better now. - OK.
Um...
So, what's the little thing about me...
...that you can hold onto with all your might?
To make you come alive in the moment?
Come here.
I like your mouth.
I like the line of your neck, down to about here.
And this...
it's so elegant.
Um, just... hang on a second.
I'll just, um... I'll just go to the bathroom and change.
OK, but don't change too much.
[NANCY]: Oh, God.
[DOOR SHUTS]
[SHE EXHALES DEEPLY]
Ta-dah.
Ooh!
You look great.
Oh, um, everything OK?
Yes, it's just, I don't like Mars bars. I can smell it.
It's a bit off-putting.
Oh, sorry, sorry. I'll go and clean my teeth.
Would you mind? Thank you.
What's this?
- Very nice. - I've changed my mind again.
I don't want to do it. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
You... I'll still pay.
But you can get dressed and go.
[HE EXHALES SLOWLY]
This isn't about the Mars bar, is it?
No, it's not about the Mars bar.
Do you not find me attractive?
Don't be ridiculous.
You're clearly...
...aesthetically perfect, and apparently nice enough.
What did you picture happening, I mean...
....why did you book me if you don't want to do it?
I don't know at this point. A moment of madness, that's all.
That's all.
Do you regularly have moments of madness like this?
No.
Do you usually make rational decisions?
Yes.
Then why would this be any different?
I mean, you must have had a reason.
Something that made you do it. I bet you thought about it for days before.
Weeks... Well, months. Years, perhaps.
Well, then it's not a moment of madness.
This is what you want, Nancy.
And now that you have it, why won't you take it?
Why won't you take what you want when it's right here, within reach.
Oh, I don't know. It feels controversial suddenly.
I don't find it controversial.
To want something like this. Even to want it.
If it's just sex you want
...aren't there a dozen men around who'd love to hook up with you?
If it's all too much... I mean, surely they want to.
Oh, yeah... Yes, they do, um...
Yes, they made that very clear actually since Robert died
but um, it's me, I don't want to.
Why not?
They're all old.
Old men. I don't want an old man. I want a young one.
A young body. And no offence, I have to pay for that, of course I do.
Well, I'm here...
...and I'm not offended.
Actually, why are you still here?
I've just offered to pay you to spend an evening doing whatever you please.
Why are you still here?
- I'm interested. - In what?
- In you. - Oh, for Heaven's sakes
- ...no need to patronize me. - I'm not.
You're conflicted.
Conflicted is interesting.
You've never met a woman who can't make up her mind before?
I don't believe that.
I've met women who can't decide which sandwich to have for lunch...
...but if we've ended up in a bedroom together...
...they usually know what they want at that point.
Well, young women are different.
Yes, I think they are.
Different to how we were... well, how I was when I was young.
I wasn't actually a social renegade, anyway.
A couple of my friends were, but we lost touch after school.
But London was a different country back then.
The rest of us were stuck in the 1950s, it was repressive.
Sorry.
And I wasn't brimming with sexual confidence like they all are now...
...with their thigh-split dresses and salsa classes and whatnot.
I mean, people do pole dancing for a hobby.
I've read about it, I read an article about it.
I mean, a hobby?
Wh... I...
Christ, I sound so old.
I know I sound old, but Leo, did you ever meet anyone...
...who does pole dancing for a hobby?
I think that's mainly for posh girls.
Yes, you're probably right.
I mean, I know pole dancers but they wouldn't pay to do it.
That's just some fucked up economics, do you know what I mean?
Not really, but I mean, I can imagine.
It's not a world I know much about.
Says the woman who booked a hotel and a sex worker for the night.
Oh, God. Oh, oh, you're right.
Oh, God, I'm just a seedy old pervert.
Just go. It's disgusting.
I feel like Rolf Harris all of a sudden.
Rolf Harris?
Never mind.
Come on, let's get in the bed.
- [SHE SIGHS] - Let's get under the covers.
Why do they make these things like getting into a strait-jacket?
It's ridiculous.
[LEO CHUCKLES]
What do you really want to do with your life?
I'd like to see, er, Venus before I die.
OK. [SHE STAMMERS]
I'm just curious about what it's like for you.
You're clearly very bright.
What makes you say that?
Well, I'm a teacher, and I know...
...there are some people who use the word "empirically"
...in a conversation, and there are very many who don't.
And the clever ones are those that do.
Did I use it?
Yes. Nigella. "Empirically sexy". And "reductive".
Oh, yes, you're right. So I did.
So, what, you don't think this is a job for clever people, is that it?
No! No, no, I didn't mean that. No.
No, I was just asking about qualifications and...
Did you go to school?
[HE CHUCKLES]
Of course. I mean, my mother was a very strict Irish Catholic.
And what does she think about what you're doing now?
You want to talk about my mother? Really?
- Well, you brought her up. - Well now I'm dropping it.
But seriously...
She doesn't know.
You know, this looks so sexy on you.
What does she think you do?
If I tell you, can we drop it?
Because you really do look good in this.
I promise.
- She thinks I work on an oil rig. - [SHE LAUGHS]
An oil rig?
Yes, an oil rig. In the North Sea.
[SHE LAUGHS HEARTILY]
No, but... But do...
Do you keep in contact? Do you send her updates...
- ...about life on the oil rig? - Now, Nancy, you promised.
But how do you know what happens on an oil rig?
I Google it, you know.
I found a website where there's stories about life on an oil rig...
...and I copy and paste them sometimes.
Ha. That's amazing. What a life.
Oh, dear. Meanwhile, my son's doing his Masters at university.
Are you not happy about that?
Oh, yes, no, I am, of course I'm happy.
It's great.
Why wouldn't I be happy? It's just what's expected.
Why do you sound so ambivalent about it?
- "Ambivalent", that's another good word. - Mm-hmm.
So... your son?
Yes, well, I... I... I... Oh dear.
I've never said this to anyone before, this is awful.
It's OK, who am I going to tell?
Come on.
I... well, the truth is I find him boring.
[HE LAUGHS]
You find your own son boring?
Yes. That's awful, isn't it?
I've just never heard anyone say that before.
Have you always found him boring?
No, not always. No, he's a very nice boy.
He's just very predictable, like his father.
What's he studying?
Chemistry. Please forget I said that.
Just forget it, he's a lovely boy and I love him very much...
...and I should be grateful because he's turned out very well.
Any other kids?
Mm. Daughter. Older. We don't get along.
Oh, why not?
She thinks I'm cold.
And what do you think?
I don't think I'm cold.
I mean, I don't feel cold inside but...
...maybe I'm cold with her because she's so over the top all the time.
So the opposite to her brother.
She lives in Barcelona, in this bohemian set-up.
They're all artists, although I've never seen any actual art.
Unless the art consists of burning your parents' money, which...
Actually, it's not out of the question.
At least she's not boring.
No, no, there is that. There is that.
So your children have disappointed you, Nancy.
Yes. But...
...when did you last see your mum?
Why?
Cos I'm interested in where you come from.
I don't come from anywhere.
You know, I was actually found under a little patch of mushrooms...
...size of a bean, raised by friendly wolves.
Oh, go on. Tell me something.
I'm in awe of anyone who becomes a mother.
[HE POURS A DRINK]
Hardest job in the world.
Did you get that off Mumsnet or something?
Sorry?
It's a bit general. Not all mothers are good.
[LEO]: Well, I wouldn't know. I've only had one.
Yeah, we're all stuck with whatever we get, aren't we?
Parents and children alike.
At least I know what mine are up to, though.
Haven't you ever wondered if your son is lying to you about his life?
- No. - Why not?
Maybe he doesn't want to disappoint you.
Has he got a partner?
Yes. Nice girl, also boring.
Training to be a primary school teacher.
Boring, boring, boring.
I thought you said you were a schoolteacher?
Yeah, but I was a Religious Education teacher
...in a secondary school. That's a very different beast to...
...colouring in with six-year-olds.
They say primary education is the most important.
[SHE SCOFFS] Well, they're wrong.
D'you know what proportion of secondary school students think...
...that Religious Education is worth...
...even an ounce of their time and attention?
- I mean, I... - No, well, exactly.
Exactly. So there I would be, year after year...
...spouting the same old stuff, unable to...
...break away from the curriculum...
...in case I got complaints from the head and unable to ask them...
...anything real in case we lost time and just battling through the work...
...and getting them through the exams...
...and then you just start again the following year...
...doing the same old stuff. It was just stultifying.
I think I may have killed the mood.
I'm not sure there was a mood.
- I'm sorry, that was rude of me. - No, it's true.
No, but you're not paying for the truth, though.
You're paying for a fantasy.
At this moment, I'm not sure what I'm paying for.
I can show you.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
I don't doubt it.
What would get you back in the mood?
- Hmm? - [SHE SIGHS]
What would your husband do to get it all going again?
Um...
Well...
He... He would, er...
...take all his clothes off, and lie in the bed...
...without putting his pyjamas on.
And I would take all my clothes off...
...put my nightie on and lie in the bed next to him...
...and then he would rub my shoulders and breasts a bit...
...and then he would climb on top, do the business...
...kiss my cheek, roll off, put his pyjamas on...
...and go back to sleep.
- That's it? - That's it.
- Always? - Always.
No deviation for 31 years.
And that's the only sex you've ever had?
Correct.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Wow.
"Wow" indeed.
No oral?
- No oral. - Not even on him?
No, he said it was demeaning.
- For you? - For him.
[HE SCOFFS] OK...
OK, and I presume it was the same for him on you?
Yes, he said that was demeaning for him too.
So, you've never had...
No, I've never had.
Never given.
- Do you want to? - Yes, I do. I want to.
I want to very much.
I always have done.
Sorry.
I'm sorry to cry.
It's stupid.
[SHE SOBS]
I, um...
I think that...
Well, when I was a... a teenager my parents...
...took me to Greece on holiday
...um, it was a once-in-a-lifetime trip, for them, anyway, and...
...um...
...at the hotel there was this waiter, I think he was about 20...
...and he looked at me like I was...
...the most delicious thing he'd ever seen...
...and I felt my body go to water.
And one night, he was hanging around after his shift...
...and um, I was hot
...so I went out into the garden after my parents had gone to bed...
...and he was there, smoking a cigarette
...and, um... I stood...
...in front of this little bush covered in tiny pink flowers...
...looking out to sea...
...and without a word, he came up and...
[SHE INHALES SHARPLY]
...kissed my neck...
...and put his hand under my skirt and into my knickers...
...and I could feel him sliding around down there...
...and I was pushing myself back into him...
...and it was the most crazy, exciting feeling I'd ever had...
...and... and, um, then a car started up...
...and the headlamps came on...
...and he was startled so he dashed away.
And the next day we went home.
And I wished we'd just stayed one more day.
[SHE GROANS]
[SHE MOANS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Hello. - Hello again.
[SHE SIGHS]
Thank you.
This is a very nice surprise.
Is it?
It's the same room. I mean, I booked the same room...
...cos I didn't want to be thrown by a new layout.
Oh, no, I mean you booking me again.
- Oh. - I mean, you must've been satisfied...
...the last time, so I'm happy about that.
Yes, yes, I was satisfied. Yes.
But?
Oh, it sounded like there was going to be a "but".
No, no, not particularly.
I, um, I've got a little bit of feedback...
...and a couple of attainment goals for this time.
Right, I see. Sure. OK.
- Would you like a drink? - Yeah.
That sounds great.
- [GLASSES CLINK] - Cheers.
So, I've made a list of things that I'd like to get through.
Oh, that sounds sexy.
Don't mock me. I'm a teacher.
Old habits die hard.
What's first on the list?
[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT] Number one:
I perform oral sex on you.
Number two: you perform oral sex on me.
Number three: we do a "69"...
...if that's what it's still called.
Uh, I don't know.
Um, four: me on top. Five: doggy-style.
Well, that all sounds very achievable.
Oh, does it? Oh, good.
Good, cos I'm... I have no frame of reference.
I've tried, um...
...looking on the internet, but it's alarming, frankly.
I mean, if you type in "classy porn" to Google
...up pop 12 windows of erections.
I mean, there's no build-up at all. Have I booked enough time?
You want to do it all today?
Yes, if possible.
I mean, it's just, you're quite expensive and I'm not sure...
...if I'll be able to afford another session after this.
OK.
I understand, um...
Isn't there something else that should be on that list?
Like what?
Well, I'd love for you to feel completely satisfied... if at all possible.
Oh.
[SHE SIGHS] Oh.
- [HE CHUCKLES] - The big "o", in fact.
[SHE CHUCKLES] Yes.
No, I like a list that can be fully ticked-off.
Achievable goals.
That's the path to happiness, there's no point in wishing for the moon.
Well, it's an orgasm, you know, it's not a Fabergé egg.
People have them every day.
Right. Do you know what, you're right.
That all makes sense.
I just... I want to feel a sense of achievement.
- Yes. - I don't want to walk away...
...from this feeling unresolved.
May I?
Do you know what?
We'll do as much of this as we can today.
I think we'll certainly make a significant dent in it.
Good.
That's good. Good.
You want to start with the blow job?
Yes, I think so.
Get the big one out the way first.
[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]
Should I kneel?
Well, I could stand on a chair, but that's not how it's usually done.
[NANCY]: Mm-hmm.
You don't have to do any of this.
No, I know, I... but I want to be a woman of the world.
I mean, there are nuns out there with more sexual experience than me.
It's embarrassing. Do you want me to brush my teeth?
What? No. Nancy, you can just... you can just let go.
Let go? What am I letting go of, exactly?
I mean, we need some sort of plan, don't we?
I don't want to swing from the chandeliers...
...and make loud animal noises.
I'd like to see that.
You're letting go of the thing inside that grips you.
You know, that judges you.
That watches you from the outside.
Christ, if I let go of that, anything might happen.
That's the only thing keeping my life together.
Keeping it ticking along... Here?
Over here.
What am I just supposed to do?
Just float around like some sort of freeform jellyfish
you know, waiting for something to come up?
- No, but you're... - Do I undo your belt?
Do you undo it? What's normal?
- Well, it's more a matter of... - Well, I'll do it.
OK.
No, I just... I just want to do a blow job.
I want to get that sorted...
...and then we can work through as much of the rest of the list as we can...
- ...in the allotted time. - Like we've got a double lesson
...timetabled for oral, and then we can see what's left of the afternoon?
- Exactly. - And shall I ring a bell...
...at the end of the session?
Do you use a bell? You didn't last time.
Oh.
- Very funny. - [PHONE RINGS]
Um...
Oh...
Sorry.
I'll be back to all this in just a second.
[DOOR OPENS]
[NANCY]: Hi, darling. Hi. Hi.
[Audio not clear]
No, no, no.
Yes.
[Audio not clear]
Something I can stop from here.
[Audio not clear]
- Sorry about that. - Everything Okay?
Yes. My daughter.
She's just in a bit of a pickle at the moment, shall we say.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Well, it's not the first time, won't be the last.
She used to ring her father about all this, but anyway...
Um, shall we just try and get through what we can?
- Before the exam? - Um, yes.
Nancy.
There is no exam. It's all a dance.
I don't know the steps.
An improvised dance, we just go where it takes us.
There's no timetable, there's no bell.
But I've only paid for two hours.
Well, then let's enjoy them. Every single minute.
Okay, come on then.
Do you want to start with the blow job or go with something else on the list?
No, I think I'd like to go in order.
I feel like I'm prepared for the blow job now.
Robert, my husband, he never... he never wanted to try anything new.
He planned everything, I mean, even his own funeral, actually.
I was terrified he'd turn up on the day...
...and tell me I'd put the wrong ham in the sandwiches.
It wasn't a...
...furnace of passion that burnt out...
...our relationship, it was more like, um...
...the bottom drawer of an AGA.
A what?
Um, it's an old-fashioned stove.
You can't turn it off.
It keeps on chugging away...
...and at the bottom there's a kind of cooler drawer thing...
...that you can push things to the back of...
Mm. - ...you know, to cook them slowly...
...like a bowl of stewed apples or something.
- I see. - Do you?
Er, not really.
But, um, I think you mean your marriage stewed slowly...
...because you pushed it to the back.
And then forgot about it.
- Mm. - Mm.
Well, anyway. He's gone, it's all gone.
Ancient history.
And I want to try something new.
Then, good.
So, I need to get that blow job under my belt.
Your belt, obviously.
Okay.
[SHE BREATHES HEAVILY]
Okay?
Okay, okay, look.
[HE SIGHS] I have an idea.
You like dancing, right?
Only when nobody's watching.
Okay?, well then we're gonna change the mood.
I'm gonna put on some music...
...and you're gonna dance like nobody is watching.
[HE HUMS QUIETLY]
[MUSIC: "Always Alright" by Alabama Shakes]
Come on, Nancy Stokes.
Come have a dance with me.
"Well, you come upstairs but not to talk"
"You stay a little while then you do a little walk on home"
"I hear you downstairs smoking cigarettes"
"I hear you talking shit"
"Cos you ain't got nothing to talk about at all"
"So you took me to the party and got me to notice"
"That you wanna feel good and you feel like you're gonna explode"
"Well, I don't care, can't pay attention"
"And I don't give a damn about your intentions at all"
"Ooh wee"
"Well, pass me the whisky, pass me the gin"
"Pass me whatever there's drink left in"
"Well, I don't care if it's seven in the morning"
"For all I care it could be the second coming"
"Well, you say you can't take it anymore"
"You can't live like this, it's a really big deal"
"Well, I don't care, can't pay attention"
"And I don't give a fuck about your intentions at all"
"Ooh, ooh"
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh, shit.
Oh, God, God.
That'll be my daughter again.
She always rings twice.
She always forgets the most crucial bit of information and has to ring back.
- Okay. - I don't want to answer it.
- Then don't. - But I always answer it.
Even when you don't want to?
- Yeah, especially when I don't want to. - Okay.
Well, what am I gonna say?
"Hello darling, I'm sorry I can't talk now cos I've booked this man for the night
"...now cos I've booked this man for the night...
...and I'm trying to work up the courage to perform oral sex on him".
[HE WHISPERS] Well, you don't have to say that.
Shall I answer it?
"Hello, darling.
I'm sorry but your mother has something in her mouth right now."
- Shh! - "I could take your message...
...if you would like."
[RINGTONE STOPS]
Listen, darling, I...
[SHE MOUTHS]
Yes. Oh, did he? Oh, God. Yes.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh, I am so sorry, yes, I do understand.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Listen, darling, I really do...
Pamela?
Oh, she's gone.
Just like that? No goodbye?
Well, either her battery ran out or she's been abducted.
Is it serious? Her pickle?
Well, it can be sorted, that's the main thing.
I see.
Matthew will provide the grandchildren...
...I've no doubt of that.
If Pamela can just keep herself alive, I'll be happy.
You don't sound very happy.
Well, it's very stressful being a parent, Leo.
It's a stress that never leaves you...
...it's... it's like a thumb on a bruise.
Sometimes my children feel like a dead weight around my neck.
I'm not sure I'd have done it if I'd known.
What do you mean?
I mean, I could've done many other things, if I hadn't been a mother.
- What else would you have done? - I dunno.
Crossed the desert on a horse...
...started an artists' colony on a hot little island...
...had a... had an orgasm...
Would you find a massage patronising at this point?
No. No, I wouldn't.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
[THEY CHUCKLE LIGHTLY]
Do you think your kids could feel it?
Your disappointment in them?
I don't know Leo. I doubt it.
They mostly didn't notice me, I think.
I mean, do you notice when your mother's disappointed?
Are you worried that she'd be disappointed if she knew what you do?
I'm not sure what you mean.
There's nothing disappointing about an oil rig, ma'am.
Anyway, there's still time for you.
Oh, that's sweet, but there isn't.
This is it.
My final attempt at a life.
For the orgasm, I mean.
You might have to abandon riding a horse across the desert.
Can I ask you to do something for me?
Mm-hmm.
Would you mind taking your shirt off?
Sure. Okay.
Can I touch you, for a moment?
You're just so...
I never thought I...
Can I touch your shoulders?
Yes.
And your arms?
Yes.
And your chest?
Yes.
Oh. Put that back on then.
You want me to put it back on?
Yes, if you want to.
I thought things were progressing quite nicely.
I was suddenly overwhelmed.
By what?
Some wave, something of...
Lust.
Maybe. Sorry, I just feel a bit sick, actually.
- Tiny bit faint. - Put your head between your legs.
I can do that on my own time.
I'll just, just, um... maybe step away for a moment.
Catch my breath.
Have a drink.
It's just, I, er...
...I've never felt anyone like you before.
- Like me? - Yeah, muscular, fit. Like a model.
I work out.
- I'm sure you do. - I work hard.
Don't you ever feel sometimes it's a bit shallow?
[HE CHUCKLES]
Yes. But my clients like it, you know.
And I like being wanted by them.
When I'm here with you, being looked at by you, I feel good.
God, I can barely imagine that.
Come here and stand with me.
I've always been ashamed of myself.
My body, I mean.
- Always? - Mm.
Always been aware of what's wrong with it.
You know, stubby thighs, fat tummy...
...boobs come down to my naval now, my arms wobble...
...they have done since I was 20, actually...
...and if I didn't pluck here and here...
I could join a circus after a month.
- Oh, I've plucked it. - Mm.
Don't be fooled by the muscles, Nancy.
I sometimes feel ashamed too.
That's hard to imagine.
Well, if I didn't look like this...
...you might not have chosen me, or wanted me.
Can I unbutton this?
Yes.
- Can I take this off? - Mm-hmm.
[SHE SIGHS]
Your body is beautiful.
I wish you could see that.
I have always quite liked my calves.
They're not completely awful.
[LEO CHUCKLES]
I can hear my mother...
"Vanity is a weakness, dear."
It's not vain to enjoy your body.
To love it.
But I know that voice in your head, the one that talks shit at you.
I have one too.
It gets tiring...
...so boring.
Oh, I'm sorry to bore you.
You're not... You're not boring me, Nancy.
Hm... Is Leo Grande your real name?
[LEO]: No.
Is Nancy Stokes your real name?
No.
Do you know, sometimes I wonder whether what you...
...young men need is a war.
Excuse me?
Well, you're all just so fit and...
...bursting with energy and killing pretend soldiers on your computers...
...but actually, underneath it all, you're really quite anxious...
...and not quite sure of yourselves.
Perhaps that's what every generation needs.
A war. It's self-correcting. It makes us all nicer.
My generation of men, they never had a chance to prove themselves.
I mean, I think they felt actually inadequate in front of their fathers.
And I think it's caused a whole lot of bother...
...and I'm worried your lot are gonna be even worse.
My brother's in the army.
Is he? Oh, sorry.
I didn't mean to imply...
Is he older or younger?
He's younger. He's 24.
Huh. Which bit of the army?
Artillery.
Mm, oh, the big guns.
Yeah, well, might as well go all in.
If I was in the army, I'd want big guns too.
- Do you see him? - Not much.
Miss him?
Of course.
I love him.
And he doesn't... He doesn't know about all this?
No.
He thinks I work at the oil rig.
Uh-huh.
Not sure he believes it.
So, you're not close?
Can I top you up?
Yes... please.
Thank you.
Not for me. Or I won't enjoy myself as much.
You wanna play a game?
Like role play.
We could work the blow job into the game, it might help.
How about teacher and student?
We could have an RE lesson.
Like the Garden of Eden...
...the fall of man...
Come on, Miss.
Teach me about original sin.
You know, I've been very bad today, Miss.
You might have to keep me behind after class.
You have to stop wearing those tight skirts because I...
...I can't concentrate on my Bible.
And, er, when you lean down over my desk
I can see right down your blouse.
And last night in my bed, I--
- Okay, stop it. - But, Miss...
- No, we shouldn't be doing this. - No, I know, Miss, but...
No, no! Safe word, safe word, safe word.
- What? - Safe word.
We don't have a safe word.
I didn't think we'd need one.
Oh, It's okay, we can stop. Look, I've stopped.
I'm just not into all that, okay? My God.
Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to...
I-I know what this looks like.
But it's just not the point. I don't want to dominate you.
- I don't want to teach you. - It's only play.
Yes, I know, but I don't want to play at that.
I want to play at something else. I want to play at feeling young again.
I want that feeling back. That feeling of...
...having it all before me.
You want to be 16 again?
No, I don't want to be 16 again.
Being 16's bloody awful.
I want the feeling of being 16 again.
That power... God, I didn't know I had it.
It was wasted on me.
[SHE SIGHS] But some of the girls I taught...
...they knew what they were doing.
With the men, I mean.
What do you mean?
I tried to tell them, the girls...
...but the skirts just kept on going up and up and up and up...
...until you could practically see how clean their back teeth were.
[SHE PUFFS]
They just didn't care.
Why should they?
They can wear what they want, surely.
Men can't always control themselves, Leo.
They're not all like you.
Some of those male teachers were like lambs to the slaughter, poor sods.
Or maybe they were in the wrong job.
Or maybe they should have realised those girls weren't there for them.
Have you ever been...
...you know, in trouble?
Been in trouble?
Mm. I mean, isn't selling sex illegal?
No, soliciting money for sex is illegal.
I don't solicit money for sex, Nancy.
No, I sell my company.
I provide interesting conversation.
I can dance, I can make 20 different cocktails.
Whether or not we have sex is our business.
There's nothing illegal about that.
I mean, as well as the blow jobs...
...it's also quite nice to get to know each other.
Yes, I suppose so.
That's why I tend to recommend more sessions.
Sorry?
It makes it more satisfying, you know?
I'm actually looking for more regular clients--
- Oh, I see. - What?
- I see where this is going. - It's not "going" anywhere.
Here it comes. The hard sell.
Is it like driving lessons? Do I get 10 for the price of 9...
...if I book in advance with the Leo Grande School of Sex?
I don't know what other kind of clients you have, Leo...
...but I am not a rich woman.
- No, I know but... - And so, you know
...I'd like to wind up the sales chat before my time...
...and money and patience run out, so...
...please, Leo Grande, or whatever your name is
...just give me my bloody blow job and we can all go home.
[SHE SIGHS]
Why don't I sit on the edge here...
...and you could kneel on a cushion in front of me?
How about that?
Okay. If that's... optimal.
Do I just... get it out?
That's right.
Oh, it's pathetic. I'm pathetic.
[SHE HUFFS] That list was such a stupid idea.
You know, you don't have to do any of this. At all.
I'm scared. That's the truth.
Of what?
That I won't like it. That you won't like it.
[SHE SIGHS]
Maybe you won't.
But you can try and see.
It's no harm.
Unless you're gonna bite it off.
In which case I probably won't like it.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
Nancy, everyone needs something different.
Maybe you just want to talk?
You know, I have a regular client who just likes to...
...hold hands and watch TV together.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I also have a client...
...who likes me to walk in without a word...
...have sex with her as quickly and silently as I can...
...and then leave.
I actually quite like that one because it only takes ten minutes...
...but she pays for the full hour.
And there's a guy who wants me to dress up as a cat...
...and then ignore him for an hour and go home.
- What, and have no sex? - No.
[SHE SNIFFS]
I think you'd make a very good cat, for what's worth.
Thank you.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't judge my clients.
You know?
Unless they're total arseholes.
And you're definitely not a total arsehole.
Well, that's nice to hear.
I have a client who can't walk.
And I bathe her.
But what she really wants is dirty talk while I do it.
And then I join her in the water.
It's what she wants.
- Hmm. - Everyone wants something different.
You sound like some sort of sex saint.
- Are you real? - [HE LAUGHS]
Oh no, I really fancy her.
It's quite hot.
And I look forward to it.
It's what she needs.
You make it sound like it should be available from the local council.
Like a public service.
Mm. Can you imagine how much less bullshit there would be?
As long as they don't put the rates up
cos people are furious enough about that.
They'll still collect the bins.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
It's different for women, though, in your line of work, isn't it?
- More dangerous. - It can be.
Well, I've been called some choice names and been slapped about a bit.
Oh, my God.
Oh, come on. You know that. You do.
[SHE SIGHS] Yeah, you know
I used to set this exact essay question in my ethics lessons.
"Should sex work be made legal?"
And every year, 30 essays came back, all exactly the same.
What did they say?
Uh, that although the moral issues remain up for debate
the legalisation of sex work would ultimately provide protection
for sex workers and help eradicate trafficking and abuse.
Sounds like Wikipedia.
It is Wikipedia. They all copied it out, word for word.
Every year. Except this one boy
Lucas White
who wrote, um...
"Sex work should be made legal
so your mum pays tax on her earnings."
Which did provide a bit of light relief
- if I'm honest. - [HE CHUCKLES]
Oh...
I think it's...
much bigger than that, the whole idea.
Just think how civilised it could be
if it was just available to all
there's no shame attached, there's no judgement.
You want sex, and you're frustrated you can't get it for whatever reason.
You're shy, you're unwell, you're grieving
you're physically struggling... so you just hire someone
like me.
It's all regulated and safe.
For you, for me, better for everyone.
And I help you...
Or I pleasure you.
Even better.
The... thing is, lots of people like the secrecy.
They get off on it, or they just want the fantasy.
And that's totally fine
but... I quite like the reality
and it's my actual job, so...
You know, one thing I love, Nancy, is just to watch someone's face
when they feel pleasure.
When they let go, when they succumb
when the body goes with it
and that heat, and that feeling...
[HE SIGHS]
Everything just loosens.
It's... [HE CHUCKLES]
It's just so, so great.
Mm.
Oh!
- You do like it. - [HE CHUCKLES]
Thank you for telling me that, Leo.
I mean, not only because it was very interesting
and enlightening...
But also...
do you mind if...
Go for it.
Mm.
Mm!
[SHE SIGHS
That was a surprise.
A good surprise?
Yes, very good. I wasn't sure about it.
You know, whether I'd like it, but it's...
like bathing in a warm sea.
I may have dropped off for a moment, actually. Sorry.
[HE CHUCKLES] It's no problem.
- But also no... - No, no orgasm, no.
[SHE SIGHS]
I wonder what noise I'd make.
Apparently sneezing's a very good sign
of how loud a person is when they orgasm.
- Really? - Yeah.
My mother sneezes very loudly.
But some people sneeze like cats.
You know... [SHE SNEEZES SOFTLY]
I... I can never rid myself of the notion
that they must orgasm like cats too.
If cats orgasm. I don't know, do they?
Nobody knows.
How did you fake it, with your husband? What noise did you make?
Um, oh, God...
Wait. I've got to think...
think it through, um...
[SHE MUTTERS]
[HE CHUCKLES]
Hm-hm-hm-hm.
- [SHE MOANS CURTLY] - [LEO CHUCKLES]
- That was very convincing. - [NANCY CHUCKLES]
Anyway... that's number two
ticked off the bucket list.
Or "licked off the fuck-it list".
Quite. And I'm very happy about that.
You are very good at this whole business, you know.
I hope you know. People should tell you.
Thank you. That's nice to hear.
It's a sort of mysterious gift you have.
It's not so mysterious. I just make the effort.
And I like you, so it's easy.
See, see? You always know the right thing to say
when to make the move and all that.
You learn to read people.
I'm not sure I ever have.
You have to want to first.
Yeah, I probably don't want to enough to put in the work.
I just pay attention.
And what about you? Is there someone who pays attention to you?
- You know, is there someone? - Someone?
Yes, you know, a special person, a particular person.
What, other than you?
Oh, stop it. I mean a girlfriend, or boyfriend
or, you know, one of those fluid arrangements you have these days.
- Nancy. - Leo.
It's all about this moment, in this room, right now.
It's all about you.
Forget everything else. That's the whole point.
Yes, but who are you in there?
Who are you out there? That's what I want to know.
- Now I've rebooked you. - And I'm very glad you did.
And I am too, but I just thought maybe we could personalise it a bit.
If it's gonna be a regular thing.
I thought you were happy with what I'm doing.
Oh my goodness, believe me, I am.
My body is no longer the carcass I've been heaving around for thirty years.
No, it's now a thing of wonder.
"A playground of delight", as you say.
Did I say that?
Mm, perhaps not. But what about you?
The real you?
I'm whatever you want me to be...
here, in this moment.
Hmm, but what if I want to know who you are without me?
When I'm not there.
Wouldn't that be OK too?
Nancy, I hope I've given you what I said I would give you.
You said we should get to know each other.
Nancy.
So you're not going to tell me.
Hey, have you ever considered using sex toys?
You know, I actually brought some with me
- because some people find it much easier... - Actually, in that case
I've got something to tell you.
- Oh, yeah? - Yes.
Well, go on then.
Well, you know, if you're not gonna tell me anything yourself
long nights alone...
one's curiosity gets the better of one...
- Does it now? - Yes. It does.
I know who you are.
Sorry?
I know who you are. I found out who you are in real life.
Don't know what you mean. This is who I am.
No, I mean your real name. I found out your real name.
I was gonna tell you earlier, but...
But...?
But I thought it was best to...
To... fuck first?
Well, it was just a minor bit of sleuthing on my part.
You know, on my credit card statement
there's a company listed to your website
and you just go to the company's house website
and you can find the name of the director of the company
and that's how I found out your name, you real name.
Hang on.
Hold on, what's going on?
No, I'll... I'll tell you my real name, if you like?
- I don't mind. - No, thank you, I'm not interested.
Well, it's not so bad, is it?
For me to know, I mean, it...
It's not as if we're strangers.
I have boundaries.
I've asked you to respect them. You haven't
so I'll be going now. Please don't attempt to book me again.
Oh, come on now.
Come on. It's not so bad. I'll... I'll forget I mentioned it.
No.
I'll still call you "Leo".
You won't calling me anything because I won't be here.
OK, Connor.
Don't you call me that.
My name is Leo Grande.
You booked Leo Grande, and you got Leo Grande.
And from what I could tell by the moans and the sighs
you have no complaints with Leo Grande, am I right?
- Yes. - Good.
So we're clear on that.
This is Leo Grande. I made him, and I'm proud of him.
And by the way, "Nancy Stokes"
I could find out who you are myself, you know.
How do you think people would react if they knew
their ex-RE teacher was hiring young men
to lick their pussy in a hotel room?
What? Is that a little too real for you?
Cos that's just what we've just been doing, so don't get squeamish now.
I honestly didn't think you'd react like this.
- What? - Well, I thought you'd be pleased.
Pleased?
Well, I thought we'd built up a trust, a real trust.
I mean, I was ready to tell you who I am.
I thought we could maybe continue outside of here, have a coffee
or a drink or something.
Why can't we?
Why can't we be friends?
I mean, is it cos I'm old?
Cos old ladies aren't allowed to participate in anything
where have to be kept quiet and cosseted
until... oh, until you need our money
and then you'll turn up and do anything.
Look, I know that's how it feels with your kids
but I have never treated you or thought of you like an old...
I thought you were proud of your work.
Why are you ashamed?
I'm not ashamed.
But you're lying about it, you're hiding yourself, and your work.
Even from those closest to you.
You're deluded. You're crazy and deluded.
Why can't your mother know the truth if you're so proud?
- If you're not ashamed. - You know there's a word for this.
It's called cyber-stalking. And nutters do it.
Crazy, sad, desperate nutters like you.
Oh, well, I am so sorry that I had the audacity to find out
the true identity of the man I've been having sex with for the past month.
Why don't you tell me more about your life on the oil rig?
Why do you have to lie to me about who you are?
I am not lying to you, Nancy!
This is my professional name.
I provide a service, a fantasy, and I told you that very clearly.
Well, all that stuff you said about it being a vocation.
- Is that lies? - No.
She would be proud of you, surely. She would.
Why are we talking about my mother?
I could talk to her. I was always very good with the parents.
I could explain it to her, I could make her understand.
No, thank you.
- I think it's important. Let me do it. - I don't need you to do that.
Well, let me try. I think it would be good for you
for your life.
Nobody is explaining anything to my mother
because far as she's concerned, I'm dead.
- Sorry, what? What? What? - Yeah.
That's what she tells everyone.
There.
Do you feel sexy now?
Feel like that's what you're paying for?
No, I didn't think so.
Look, Nancy, I'm sorry that your son is so immensely boring
and that your daughter has a more exciting life than you.
You said your kids are like a dead weight around your neck
so let's not pretend you're exactly "Mother of the Year" yourself, right?
But why would she want you dead? Why? What did you do to her?
Fuck off, Nancy.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
[NANCY]: Alright.
Don't talk to me, I just forgot my phone.
[HE SIGHS]
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
- Leo, please. Please. - Fuck!
You wanna know if my mother would be proud of me?
Yeah, she disowned me.
She left me to fend for myself.
How old were you?
I was 15.
Why? Why did she disown you? What did you do?
What did I do?
I just disappointed the fuck out of her.
[ROOM PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
No, yes, no, no, no. It's fine.
It's my friend, he, um...
he fell, actually, hurt his knee. Yes.
Absolutely, no, of course. We'll keep it down.
Yes, yes, sorry. Thanks.
Bye.
You know, my mother was like you.
She did everything right.
Food on the table, clean clothes in the drawers, all that, but um...
I don't think she ever... ever actually saw me.
Or if she did, she didn't like it.
You know, she tried to hide her repulsion
but I could just feel it...
vibrating through the walls, and...
I just... I wasn't what she wanted. What she imagined for herself.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you can quit judging me
you know, my life, my work.
You don't actually care about the truth of my life.
You just wanted something... exotic.
A broken little whore.
And I guess you found him.
Well done you.
I'm gonna leave now, Nancy.
You can have a refund on the time.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Can I get you anything?
No, thanks, I'm waiting for someone.
OK.
- Can I get you anything? - I said no tha--
Oh, sorry, you're a different one.
Thanks a lot, I'm waiting for someone.
- Can I get you anything while you wait? - Nothing, thank you.
- Can I get you-- - No, thank you. Sorry.
Thank you, no, I'm waiting, I will wait, I will wait for my friend.
Oh, you used to teach me.
- Sorry? - Yeah.
Mrs Robinson. RE.
Oh, keep your voice down a little, would you?
What are you doing here then?
Um, ah, well, I'm meeting a friend. Yeah.
Cos the parking here's so good.
Well, it's certainly better than the coffee.
I'm Becky Foster, do you remember me?
Um, no, actually. I... funnily enough, I don't.
- Sorry. - Yeah, you used to teach me in Year 8.
Did I? I can't have taught you very well, could I?
- Why's that? - Cos you're working here.
[LEO]: Hello.
Oh!
Where did you come from?
- Um... - This your friend, then?
Yeah, well, he's...
- Well... - Uh, I'm trying to sell my car.
Um, this good lady is interested
so we thought this was a great place to meet to have a look at it.
Mm. Mm-hmm. Cos the parking's so good.
Well, it's certainly better than the coffee.
[HE CHUCKLES]
We'll take two of those coffees, anyway.
We'll take the risk. Thank you.
[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT] Shall we sit?
Yeah.
You came.
You booked.
I didn't think you would.
I wasn't sure I would either.
But we both know the deal today.
Still, I'm very glad that you decided to come, just to talk.
Lovely.
Thank you.
It's a powerful thing.
Sexual fulfillment.
It makes you feel... Well, it made me feel invincible.
I hadn't realised.
I wish I'd known sooner, when I was younger.
I'd have made the necessary changes.
At least you've done that now.
Yes. Yes.
And you know, I have felt more alive and more powerful in this last month
than I can ever remember.
I mean, I see my friends...
fading away at the edges.
Just shrivelling up over the years
and I think...
actually, you're right, Leo, this should be a public service.
You told a couple of them about me. Your friends.
Yes, I have made recommendations for the great Leo Grande.
I told them you're the master of the menopause.
I'll put it on my business card.
I've been very discreet of course.
I've only told the ones I thought could really use...
Need it... You... Need you.
Well, I appreciate that.
Mm.
Uh...
Leo, my name, my real name
is Susan Robinson.
Such a boring name, isn't it?
Mrs Robinson. Hmm. That's cute.
I've never done anything interesting or remarkable in my life.
Um, this is it.
I always obeyed all the rules
fell in line.
I never drank too much, never overshadowed my husband at parties.
I was always the designated driver.
Ate my five a day.
Even before they were called "five a day."
And I always, always answer my phone when it rings.
You're the only adventure I've ever had.
The only freedom, and...
I wanted it to be real.
I wasn't thinking about it properly.
I was mad with some fever...
lust or whatever.
It made me mad.
I never... I've never...
I'm sorry, Leo.
I'm so...
- That's it. - Mm. That's it.
I just wanted to see you, see you were alright.
Tell you what you've done for me.
To thank you and to say goodbye.
[BECKY]: Everything OK here, Mrs Robinson?
Yes, um, thank you. We're just wrapping up here now.
Mrs Robinson used to teach me RE at school.
Oh, yeah?
Thank you, Becky.
- [BECKY]: Yes. - Was she a good teacher?
She was alright. Bit uptight.
- Not as bad as some of the others. - Uh-huh.
Yeah. Except for this one time...
Thank you, Becky, for that glowing report.
She got all us girls together for a special assembly.
- Becky... - No, no, go on.
And she told us we were all sluts.
I don't think that's quite what happened, Becky.
Yeah, she said girls should look respectable
or we would go around tempting the men and get ourselves into trouble.
She said if we looked like sluts, we'd be treated like sluts.
Well, it was to do with the length of the skirts mostly
which had just got out of control by then.
Said if we spent as much time on our studies
as we did on our hair, we'd all be a lot better off.
Well, actually, I do... I stand by that. I stand by that.
"Concupiscence".
Always remember that, too.
She used to make us say...
Said she liked the sound of it.
I did too.
Well, I'm glad to hear it. It's a good word.
- What does it mean? - [BOTH]: "Lustful desire".
Oh. Well, well. Now you're talking.
Mm. Yes, St Augustine of Hippo
coined the term in his doctrine of original sin.
He believed that it underpins all the suffering and sins in the world.
So Becky, could we please have that bill?
Well, I don't think I can go along with that
cos it doesn't make any "Concupi-sense" to me at all.
[LEO AND BECKY CHUCKLE]
Longest word I know.
The bill, please, Becky!
My legacy. As an educator.
"Concupiscence". It is a good word.
It's a new one on me.
Oh, well, I'm glad to have found one you didn't know.
I was hoping I would.
I... I told my brother.
About what I do.
What did he say?
Well, he was surprised to hear me say it, out loud.
But he guessed I made money with something like this.
He, um, he said he kind of already knew.
And he never believed the oil rig stories.
He said Mum would never talk about me.
About what she saw. About what happened.
Mm.
Guess I was a bit wild for my mum.
A lot for her to handle.
There was this one night, back then when I thought...
uh, she was gone out for the weekend.
But I was wrong, um...
I had some friends over to hang out after exams
we put on some music, drank some wine...
Next thing I know, she and a neighbour are walking in on me and my friends
and we're all...
bodies wrapped up together, bit of everything going on.
Um... exploring each other.
And I'll never forget her face.
Just humiliated. So ashamed.
We tried for weeks after to patch things up, but, um...
her disgust was just all over her.
I... had to leave.
She, um, said she was glad I was going
and that she would never speak my name again.
And from that point on
she told everyone that that was the day her son had died.
[NANCY]: Mm.
Surely, surely, time's a great...
- Healer? Yeah. - ...healer.
[HE CHUCKLES]
No, Nancy, she... she meant it.
I even saw her a couple of years ago in the street.
She just... she walked straight past me.
[HE CHUCKLES]
Yeah, just cold.
Would you do that to your own son?
Well, only because he's so unremarkable I might not notice him.
I should probably stop saying things like that about him.
Yeah, you probably should.
No, he's a good boy and I'm very lucky to have him.
She was wrong, your mother.
There is nothing disgusting or disappointing about you.
Thank you, Becky.
Becky, could you wait a moment?
Becky, I would like to apologise to you.
- What? - Yes.
I owe you an apology.
For calling you a slut. That was wrong.
That was not a word or idea I should have used
with a group of impressionable teenage girls.
I thought I was doing the right thing at the time...
trying to protect you, but now...
But now, I...
Becky...
I am not here to buy this man's car.
OK.
This is Leo Grande and he is a...
I'm a sex worker.
Yes. Yes.
And we have been meeting
for sex regularly for the past few weeks.
- [LEO]: That's right. - That's right, that's right.
And, um, I recommend him highly
cos from anything else he's an absolute marvel with his tongue.
And, um, Becky, you may already know this
I hope you do, but pleasure is a wonderful thing.
It's something we should all have.
Um...
If you'll excuse us
uh, I have a room booked upstairs
and um, Leo and I need to get going
if we want to fit a session in in the remaining time
cos, um... [SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]
...there's a couple of things I'd like to try.
It was great to meet you, Becky.
I hope maybe we'll run into each other again sometime.
Keep the change.
Take those off, Nancy Stokes.
[SHE CHUCKLES]
I can't bal... I can't balance like this. I can't balance.
OK.
NANCY: Oh-oh...
[SHE SIGHS]
[SHE MOANS]
[HE MOANS]
[HE SIGHS]
[THEY SIGH]
Did you?
Stop asking.
- OK. - You're fixated.
I think you should drop it.
[HE CHUCKLES]
I know, I know, I just...
There's no pressure, of course, I was just hoping.
Maybe all the others are faking.
Have you ever thought of that?
[HE LAUGHS]
[HE MOANS CURTLY]
- No. - I'm joking.
We'll try one more time. Just for fun.
Oh, OK. If you must...
Close your eyes.
Hang on, I brought something with me
that you might like to try.
Oh, you know what?
Leo, I don't think I can.
I... I think I'm done. [SHE CHUCKLES]
I thought I brought the little bugger.
It usually works.
[SHE MOANS]
Here it is.
[SEX TOY VIBRATES]
Mm.
Was that...
[SHE SIGHS]
Leo, I think this should be the last time we meet.
I'm glad you booked me.
- I'm glad you came. - I'm glad you came.
Right?
I'm very satisfied customer, put it like that.
I shall be ticking the big green smiley face on the feedback form.
OK.
Well...
Good bye, then, Leo Grande.
And good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Take care, Nancy.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MUSIC: "Ready" by Montaigne]
"I, I guess I'm frustrated"
"Thinking about all the places"
"I should've been by now"
"And I'm endlessly waiting"
"Feel like a barrel of dynamite waiting for a flame to come 'round"
"I need a little spark"
"A light in bitter dark"
"I think I'm ready to go I think I'm ready"
"And I'm, I'm out of the wind"
"So catch my wings"
"I think I'm ready to go I think I'm ready"
"And I'm at the edge of the cliff"