You have made missing your school bus a daily routine
and each day you promise that it won't happen again.
It causes a delay in opening of the shop.
Stop here, dad.
Why here? Your school is further up.
Please stop here, dad.
What's the matter? Why did you ask me to stop there?
All my friends own big luxury cars.
Will they not look down upon me if they see us like this?
Son, you should be grateful
for what you have in life. Okay?
You should be pleased that
you're studying in such a prestigious school.
You will be so competent when you pass out from here.
But why don't we own a car, dad?
Are we not affluent enough?
I should get going, dad.
Greetings, Bhushan ji.
I need you to loan me some money.
-Take this, dear. -No.
-Little bit. -No.
Nonu!
Wow!
Look at what dad has brought for you.
What is this? Nonu's car!
Hop in. Hop in. Come. Come.
How will you drive it?
Out of the way, mister!
Nonu's car is approaching.
What do you think?
-It's very nice! -Give me a high five.
Yes!
Greetings.
This 1990 model decrepit car,
is being used even in 2024.
Because my papa is allergic to anything new.
-What are you doing? -What is this?
-You are being destructive. -Your car is an ancient clunker.
Old car. Old furniture.
Old business. Old house.
He believes old is gold.
Get off.
If you're done examining it, tell me what I'll get for it.
What do you mean what you'll get for it?
We don't want to sell the car, brother. Please leave.
Hello. Everyone has refused to take it.
This chap has agreed after a lot of convincing.
Let me do this.
Come here.
What's on your mind? Why do you always make my life miserable?
We'll only be able to pay for the down payment of a new car if we sell this one.
Or will you never let this go?
Please. Let me do what I'm doing.
So, brother? Are you done?
If you're done, let me know how much you'll pay me.
Five thousand.
How dare you say five thousand? You scrap dealer!
You will pay me five thousand.
-What for? -Fee.
To carry this to Haryana so I may have it cut and sold.
Who is he?
You foolish scoundrel!
Hop on your vehicle and leave.
Go ahead and take it to your grave.
-Damn you! -Nobody will buy it.
This is how my day usually begins.
A dog's tail can never be straightened,
but you can straighten yours.
Even your body language can be corrected
if you go to the correct place.
-What is the correct place? -Here!
That's right. Drown now.
You must be thinking that my days are so boring.
But my nights are just as exciting.
I will not start distributing girls.
I will only teach you how to woo them.
Okay. Let's get started.
Yes. This is a real thing.
I run a flirt academy.
I teach Delhi's forever single boys
to womanipulate girls,
to wiggle their way into their minds, hearts and beds.
Stop jerking off while checking girls on social media
and gather the courage to go and speak to them directly.
First, set a target.
Once you've set your target, approach her.
Don't approach her from the back, she will attack you with a pepper spray.
Approach her from the side or from the front
and with a pleasant smile on your face.
-Hi. -Hi.
What you have to do is, you have to observe something about her.
You don't say, "Hi, how are you?"
"What do you do?"
I have a problem that only you can resolve.
-Okay. -It's my sister's birthday
and I haven't bought a gift for her.
And she does not like anything but shoes.
I noticed yours, they are really cool.
Oh! These. These are...
Yeah. Can you help me with what model that is?
I'm sorry. These are quite old,
so I don't really remember the model.
It's okay. Can I just click a photo?
Google will scan it and take me to the link.
Okay, sure.
-What do you want me to do? Stand for it? -Nothing.
No, no. You just keep sitting. I'll do it.
Okay.
Yeah, it actually works.
Oh, damn!
What happened?
Delivery is four days from now and her birthday is tomorrow.
Actually, I bought these from Khan market,
so you can just go and check it out there.
I could do that or I could just buy them off you.
Excuse me?
I'm kidding.
I don't have a sister and therefore there's no birthday.
I just wanted to talk to you
and I'm not into those cheesy pickup lines, so...
Me neither.
And this is what I call observational icebreakers.
So, you're like a body language coach.
-More like an image consultant. -Interesting.
My daytime venture is interesting
but my night-time pursuit is even more exciting.
What is it that you do at night?
I designed the womanipulation course to get you the girl that you desire.
My success rate with girls is 100 percent.
Once I set a target, I charm the girl by hook or by crook.
Whoo!
-Oh my God! That is so sexist! -I mean, what's not?
You are telling me that you run, like, a school
-or something, for men. -Yeah.
And like, you teach them techniques
to pick up women.
Wait. Something else in the day and this school at night.
You're pretty ambitious.
Well, my favourite car is expensive.
Just saving up to buy it.
Now let's discuss Pankaj Hooda, Meri Party's leader.
Due to his foolish uncalculated responses
he has become a laughing stock on social media.
However, what he's done now is fairly deplorable.
You baldilocks, I'll see you outside.
Please don't break it.
Just wait and watch.
-Hey, stop that. -No, no.
Just wait.
You ugly moustached rascal, egg head. I'll see you outside!
As soon as the video was released, the social media has exploded...
Pankaj sir, how long will you ruin your mood
watching the same video again and again?
And why do you sit here all day with this video?
There are various memes made on him.
Take that away.
As you can see, another video has gone viral,
where an individual named Vaibhav,
who is a body language coach,
is seen making fun of Pankaj Hooda's
poor body language in this video.
Just look.
Look at his condition.
I don't sweat as much as him even in the gym.
He is flapping like a pigeon.
The climax,
the main drama, just have a look.
-Where is this journalist? -I had him abducted and brought here.
-Where? -He's in the office.
You will go to jail!
Are you planning on killing me?
I am from the media, the forth pillar.
Hey, what are you doing?
Get my stuff out of the car.
I told you I want mixed water, not warm water.
Don't you understand?
Am I stupid?
I've been calling you since morning.
We have lentil soup again?
Don't eat it. I asked you a question.
I've been calling you since morning, why didn't you answer my calls?
I was busy.
And what was my Lord Mountbatten busy doing?
Where do we get the money from?
We don't get it from selling a handful of books.
I work. And that's what I was busy doing.
I don't need this big TV and that fancy mobile phone.
Then don't use it.
You do use it, don't you?
Live in your ancient times.
Don't use it. Don't use it.
What is this? A man comes home exhausted after a day of hard work
and you pounce on him instantly. What is the matter?
Goons paid us a visit, brother.
Goons paid us a visit?
Yes.
They were goons.
What do you mean? What did they say?
They didn't say or do anything.
If they didn't say or do anything then how were they goons?
A normal person comes home and you want to call him a goon.
You have a flair for drama.
I am not a dimwit!
I didn't get old without experience!
I can very well distinguish a normal person from a goon.
Those chaps were hulks over six feet tall.
They must have said or done something
for you to come to the conclusion that they were goons.
Yes, they said strange things.
They kept asking for you repeatedly.
Their behaviour was menacing.
-Chhotu. -What will he do in this?
Come here and tell me what they said.
Here. They left their phone number.
Call on this number and ask them what they want.
Put it on loudspeaker. I want to hear what they have to say.
Patience. Let me dial the number first.
-Hello. -Hi. Who is that?
This is Vaibhav Chak. I think you came home today.
I got your number from my dad.
Hello, Mr. Vaibhav.
This is Pradhan Sinha.
Mr. Pankaj Hooda's Senior Manager.
Look, I did not upload that video
and it wasn't my intention.
No, no.
Mr. Pankaj Hooda is always widely covered by the media.
He has a great personality.
He wishes to meet with you.
Look, let me remove the video off social media.
It won't do any good to make an issue of it.
Look outside.
77 Lodhi Estate. 12 p.m.
Don't be late.
Yes.
Who do you wish to see?
I have an appointment with Mr. Pankaj Hooda.
-Your name? -Vaibhav Chak.
Please wait here.
'Have you ever fallen in love with a girl at first sight?'
'A girl whose glimpse got your heart palpitating'
'and everything around blurred.'
'Time stopped.'
Palms sweating on seeing her.
Your lips trembling.
Has that ever happened?
Yes, sir.
Love at first sight.
No way!
One doesn't fall in love at first sight, one only feels attracted.
And anybody can feel attracted to anyone at any time.
In my opinion, love doesn't exist.
They fooled you in the movies and you fell for it.
In my opinion,
a person cannot live with
or love another person all his life.
Look, it's very simple.
Seduction is a game of football.
You have to apply the rules and run towards the goal.
The goal could be anything.
To find love, to get married, or to get laid.
I found my 100th.
Mr Chak. Park the car.
'My car won't not even be visible amongst all those cars.'
Did you say something?
I'll park outside.
Look at his condition.
I don't sweat as much as him even in the gym.
He is flapping like a pigeon.
The climax...
You have done great feats.
The main drama, have a look.
So...
I've never been as eager
even to see Angela Jolie as I've been to see you.
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't want that video to go viral or...
Actually, I had no such intention and...
Even I have no intention
of destroying your body language.
Shall I do it? Is that what you want?
No, right? Look, boy.
I know nothing about style or fashion.
The only thing I know is politics.
And shooting the rear end
of a person who acts smart.
Hey, dude!
-Sorry? -Train me to have a better body language.
Turn me into a person that will leave my in-laws astounded.
And as for the opposition, that criticizes my way of being.
I want to stuff their back ends.
Turn me into a gentleman.
Okay.
Got it.
So, basically, you want me to fix you.
It's very simple, Pankaj. There is a...
Sir. Pankaj sir.
Look, where I come from, we operate on a first name basis.
-It is more professional. It is... -You may call me Pankaj.
So, Pankaj, basically,
I develop an attitude.
Listen, boy. I have a lot of attitude.
It is crammed in me.
But the problem goes beyond attitude.
Pardon?
Jatitude.
You guys think this is a joke, right?
This involves his career.
In public life, communication and body language are your backbone.
I can correct your backbone.
Do it.
And it might just change the game for this election.
Picture this.
You walk out on that stage behind the podium
and there's just pure magic.
You're a good-looking guy, Pankaj.
If you become a good orator with that crisp body language,
that throw in the voice,
your audience will be mesmerized,
the opposition will burn with envy, and you, my friend,
will be a force to reckon with.
That's great.
-Pradhan. -Yes, sir.
Tell Mallika to explain to me what he said.
Come on. Get moving with your work.
Put that over there.
I've talked to Ms. Mallika.
She's busy.
Have a word with her when you get the chance.
-That's Ms. Mallika, right? -Yes, that's her.
Okay. Thank you.
-Put that down with care. -Mallika!
Hi. Vaibhav.
Yes. Hi.
If you're busy, we could do this later.
No, I'll be occupied later as well, so let's do it now.
So, I'll come up.
Vaibhav?
Now, moving on.
Step number one. Peacocking.
The peacock is the most beautiful creature on the planet, right?
Even Flamingos are beautiful.
But the peacock knows how to attract attention.
At times with its looks, and other times with its dance.
All of us have to become peacocks.
And it is not at all difficult to do. What does one do to achieve that?
You just groom yourself.
Okay? A good haircut.
A good perfume.
You start going to the gym brother, okay?
And the most important part of self-grooming,
wearing a jacket.
Sir, I have a question.
Why does one have to wear a jacket?
Because jacket is your push up bra.
Girls wear push up bras to look hot and curvy.
They endure pain of all kinds. They wax.
Can't you wear a jacket?
You read.
Yes. Go for it.
-Refine your identity. -Hey, bro.
No girl is going to listen to that volume and energy.
You have to thrust your voice in her brain. Right?
Clear, confident and sharp.
That's how she likes it.
-Okay? -Yeah.
Come on. Go for it.
-Refine your identity. -Yes!
Refine your identity.
Turmeric milk. 90 rupees a glass.
Turmeric latte with a tinge of honey.
450 rupees.
It's all in how you package yourself.
Sir, let's assume an aunty asks you...
A girl asks you
what you do. What do you do?
I'm a doctor.
I mean, I will tell her that I am a doctor.
No.
You will say that you save lives.
I save lives.
Yes. You got to make it big!
Let's assume you are a fireman
and a girl asks you what you do. What will you say?
I will say something like,
-I extinguish the fire. -Ooh!
Let's ignite a fire first.
Before you start extinguishing it.
You are to say that you play with fire!
Oh!
So, you're a body language coach and you write speeches?
I correct the spine, if you know what I mean.
I am a wordsmith and I play with words.
I prepare people for speeches and interviews.
There is no place for games in politics.
In fact, one has to live and breathe politics to survive here.
Anyway, what's your ask?
You won't be able to meet my demands.
Excuse me?
I have been told
I'll have to work under you.
Technically, that makes you my boss.
And I'm an expert in what I do.
If you don't mind me asking,
do you have any experience
in communication or body language?
I have experience in team leading and you'll be part of a team
which I will be leading.
If you land the job, that is.
There is a difference in leading a team at a call centre
and leading a political campaign.
Anyway, I can't work under anyone
and I hate taking instructions.
-So, I think it's better... -Great.
You just made my life easier.
-Already? -Yeah.
Because, in my opinion, coaching doesn't do much.
-Really? -Hmm.
-And how are you so sure? -Come on.
These are all just gimmicks.
In the olden days, leaders had no coaches.
They were real.
And the public relates to that.
Coaching is just manipulation. It's not real.
I want Pankaj sir to be raw
and connect with his voters on a real level.
Manipulation comes naturally to us humans.
When a child is hungry,
he manipulates his mother by crying.
So, everybody manipulates.
It's the intention that matters.
And historically speaking,
all great leaders had great advisors,
who trained them in all these subjects.
Every Akbar had a Birbal.
Yeah, I'm aware of this.
But coaches like you don't really impress me.
I'm supposed to hire a 27 year old BBM graduate.
Because why?
He knows how to manipulate.
No, you're not suddenly supposed to turn your head to the right
while you ask an intimidating question.
It just throws your game off.
Shoulders tensed,
pupils are dilated, lips a little spread.
You are impressed with everything I said but you won't admit to it.
Because you feel if you admit it, I'll not negotiate on the money.
Well, Mallika,
I don't work for the money.
I work where my heart wishes.
Anyway, all the best for the election.
I hope you guys win.
Fine.
It was interesting to meet you.
'So basically, peacocking means making a mark on the girl.'
'With your looks and your words.'
'So she doesn't forget you.'
Vaibhav!
Wow! I thought you'd ponder for 2-3 days before you tell me
that I need not work under anyone.
But you decided to hire me very quickly.
Very impressive!
You forgot your bag.
Thank you.
-Talk! -Please forgive me, brother.
Speak.
Brother. Please forgive me, brother.
Come on.
Take him.
Come on.
You were blabbering a lot.
Beat him.
Beat him hard.
Brother. Please spare me, brother.
Why are you hitting me, brother?
Brother! Please spare me.
You're flying too much?
You piece of shit!
You screwed me up on social media.
Not only social media, electronic media and print media too.
-No, no. -Who is your benefactor?
Who is your benefactor?
Speak up!
You were running an IT cell business in Laxmi Nagar.
Under whose instructions are you acting?
-Pradhan. -Yes.
Strip him and seat him on a cane.
-Okay. -Then he will talk.
Hit him!
-Spare me! Please spare me! -Put him down.
Don't spare the fucker.
What is going on here?
I've told you so many times not to do this in the office.
It ruins the atmosphere.
What can I do, ma'am? We just got hold of him.
Where could we take him?
Do you have to bring them all to the party office?
Sorry. This doesn't happen every day.
It won't happen again.
Tell me. Did you hire the boy?
No. He is not a team player. There will be issues.
Then you will only shoot him three days from now.
No, no. I will keep him under control. Okay?
The boy is useful. He will be useful to us.
I watched all his online videos last night.
He is a terrific coach. He is an excellent boy. Hire him.
I really don't know how much value he will add.
Don't worry about it. Just hire him and tell him to come to work tomorrow.
But don't blame me if you face problems in future, sir.
I won't blame you.
I won't blame anyone.
Please come with me, Latika.
You said you will go out with me tomorrow.
Please come, Latika. Okay, come with me day after tomorrow.
I am going out with brother day after tomorrow.
-Okay. Come with me the day after that. -I will be ill the day after that.
Latika...
If you persist like this, she will never agree.
Hi. Vaibhav. Chak.
Luv. Ranjan.
What has that guy done, Luv?
They are assaulting him.
Actually, he said offensive things about sir on social media.
That's why he's in trouble now.
Even you had said a lot, bro.
-No, no, no, no. -Did you have a meeting with sir?
Yes, I met him. I met his Manager too.
Manager?
Manager who?
The one standing there in the yellow saree. Mallika.
Her?
She is sir's wife. Manager?