Deepali Shah! Not bad at all.
What do we have here?
If there was another--
Oh, if there was another world.
Hi, guys.
If we have an option of making a new world,
how would you want that world to be?
A world where looks aren't important.
A world where everyone has a right to speak freely.
A world where I could disappear...
A world where I could be whoever I wanted to be.
A world without borders.
...and reappear at will.
A world where my family would be there for me.
They might not necessarily stay with me,
but always be available when I need them.
People don't realise it but, we have already created that world.
If you are watching this video right now,
you are already a part of that world.
The Cyber World.
The Web.
We are getting a lot of comments, guys.
I'll try my best to read all of them.
But please excuse me...
...if I am unable to do so.
So here we have Chhavi_26510 with us.
You are so cute!
Aawwwww thank you Chhavi!
That's so sweet.
Why don't you attend the fanfest?
I do, stealthily.
Bro, you on the Grid?
I go there as a fan.
Who isn't?
I observe all of you.
I observe your reactions.
I enjoy it. I feel happy.
Oh dearest Goddess, let everything run smoothly.
I promise to name the pro version of the app after You.
...if I am unable to do so.
So here we have Chhavi_26510 with us.
Sir, I want to discuss something with you.
Good morning, sir.
Sir, I want to discuss something with you.
Yes?
I cannot resign for the next 5 years,
because it seems "Mr. Vikas Bhalla has signed a bond."
- Dad was right. - Don't worry, Gogu.
I'm sure you'll find a way out.
Of course, I will.
And it will lead me to some street in America.
Gogu, whites and colour separate.
Ate something?
Will soon.
Corn.
Shit-shit-shit!
Fuck!
I hate America. Just bloody hate it.
Give it some time, Gogu. You'll soon start loving it.
Remember you hated college initially?
I don't want to like it only.
And college, I started liking because I met you.
Aw!
You were wearing a yellow dress and I couldn't take my eyes off you.
Gogu, you can say that without holding a mop in your hand, right?
And you were wearing a red sweater and I thought, "cute".
Do you have anything else to eat?
Nope.
Okay then, as corny as it may sound,
if you can't have corn then have cornflakes.
You have to eat something.
Come on now, get up.
Cornflakes for breakfast, cornflakes for dinner.
Listen, why don't you underperform?
Meaning?
I mean botch up the presentation for the App.
Vikas Bhalla....!
The bond won't be applicable if the company fires you.
You know what I mean?
Oh my god, I'm a genius.
But now this plan is on okay?
How to screw up your presentation 101 to come back home!
That's a great idea, baby.
How do you do it?
For completing the list.
Come on now, you've been following people like Super woman, Ashish Chanchlani,
Bhuvan Bam and Badhana.
Now that you've started following me, your "Following" list is finally complete.
Awesome.
Straight to the point, huh?
No greetings, no build up, no small talk.
This is Social Media, dude. Use a filter.
This is the way I am.
I am the same on social media as I am in real life.
I don't use any filters.
I think, I say, I make, I post.
Same goes for them as well.
They are crazy, but original.
Someone out here dances outside a car and everyone starts pawrtying
F*ckin Idiots!
Someone decided to add a mint to cola,
and everyone started making DIY rocket launchers.
Screwballs.
But you don't seem to follow any trend and that's nice.
Yeah, I know, I am a trendsetter.
Don't skimp on a compliment.
Share my video on your wall and add a like-share-comment.
Come on, come on, come on.
Cool then,
let's see what's going on in your crazy head this time.
Yeah!
Deepali Shah... Ddu-Du Ddu-Du!
'Send me the pics.'
Good Morning Tia, you want some breakfast in bed?
Stop it now.
You're mad.
Hey, are you recording?
Your bro is amazing.
There won't be a next time.
Fucking idiot.
Pooja!
You cannot let your guard down, Prateek.
Pooja, you fucking bi--
What is it, Pooja! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Don't you get it?
Don't talk like that, Prateek.
You're lucky that I'm even talking to you.
Prateek, how do I make you believe that... I love you so much!
And I hate you, Pooja.
I hate you!
How do I make you believe this?
But...but we had such a great time together.
We didn't have a great time.
Your mind is playing tricks on you.
You reeked of garlic noodles.
Why are you always so rude to me? I just don't get it.
Get this straight, bitch.
If you're in heat then go fuck someone else.
Stop bugging me.
Prateek, please.
Psycho bitch.
Hi.
Hey?
Pokerboy?
Hi, ma'am.
Why Pokerboy?
Hindi?
Yes.
Why Pokerboy?
Do you love to poke?
No, I won some cash in a poker game.
I used the same money.
When I was asked for an ID in the form,
the poker game was still somewhere in the back of my mind, so...
Wow, a man with details.
I like it.
Thank you.
Look at that hair, so sexy.
And those glasses...
I wish you were wearing just the glasses.
Just the glasses?
Uh-huh.
Hey, do you want to see my glasses?
Yes.
Wait.
Oops.
Sorry.
Mention not.
Sorry, I couldn't find them.
So...
How about if I...
show you something else instead?
Ya.
Na, first say something nice.
What do you like about me?
Like about you?
Uh-huh.
I like your boo... bed sheet.
I like your bed sheet.
It's nice.
My bed sheet?
Yeah.
Yeah... so soft, and so smooth.
I wish you were here with me.
I would have really enjoyed your company.
Pokerboy, if you were this pillow,
I would have rubbed it even harder.
Oh Pokerboy...
if you were this bed sheet...
Oh, if you were this bed sheet I would have caressed it all the time.
What would you do to me if you were here, Pokerboy?
Hmm?
What would you do to Wild Butterfly?
Mr. Vikas Bhalla, are you ready?
Yes, sir.
Let's go.
Hello, sirs.
Hello, ma'am.
Hello.
I would like to introduce to you,
my company's preeminent expert, Mr. Vikas Bhalla.
Over to you Vikas, all the best.
Namaste.
In India, we pray before we start any important work.
Okay, very exotic.
So please don't mind,
I would also like to start my presentation with a prayer.
And I would like to request all of you to join in.
Okay, eh, how do we join?
Please just follow me,
or you can also follow the instructions given in the subtitles.
Okay.
We can do that.
Just...just give me a moment.
Hail Goddess!
O' Goddess, let me be your devotee!
O' Goddess, let the stars of good fortune shine upon me!
O' Goddess, let me be your devotee!
O' Goddess, let the stars of good fortune shine upon me!
Hail Goddess!
O' Goddess!
Jai Mata Di! [Hail Goddess]
Jai Mata Di!
Everyone together!
Jai Mata Di!
Louder!
Jai Mata Di!
"Victory to the Goddess who rides on a lion," - Jai Mata Di!
"All hail the Goddess whose court is righteous," - Jai Mata Di!
- "Bless us," - Jai Mata Di!
- "Let me be a fortunate one." - Jai Mata Di!
What the hell are you doing mother fucker?
Praying, sir.
What...!
Can I have the presentation now?
Just the app, no culture, no Namaste or Satshriakal [Greetings].
Just do the presentation.
Fucking dimwit.
Hello, hello, welcome back.
Sorry, loose connection.
Go ahead Mr. Vikas, go ahead.
Thank you so much.
So, we have come up with the most innovative App of all times.
It's named after a holy Indian word, Shree.
Okay.
This App will give people a life they belong to,
a life with their loved ones, a life with actual emotions,
actual experiences with the actual world.
An App that will take the interaction of two individuals,
beyond the interaction of two interfaces.
Okay, so like Siri or Alexa?
No, I'd say they all are like Shree.
You know, don't just ask it to set an alarm for you,
or play your favourite song or share a location,
I'd say don't ask for anything,
talk to it, talk to it as if you're talking to your best friend.
So can I ask it a question?
Yeah, absolutely.
Just say "Hey Shree" and your best friend is going to be right there.
Yeah? Just give me a sec.
Jai Mata Di!
Go for it.
Hey Shree.
Hey!
I'm sorry I didn't catch you name?
It's Jeliene.
Hi Jeliene, how are you feeling today?
Um, I'm a bit sad.
Oh, I am so sorry that you are feeling sad.
I know it's tough out there.
Mr. Bhalla, it's so nice that you have added emotions in it.
It is tough out there with all the pressure from these bosses.
So, you want to stop feeling sad?
Yeah.
You want to feel good?
Yeah.
And you think you will be able to feel happy
by sitting at home talking to a phone, Jeliene?
Have you lost your fucking mind, bitch?
If you're sad then step out, go meet a friend,
make friends if you don't have any, at least give it a try.
Call someone you are mad at.
Also call someone who is mad at you.
Work harder if you have failed.
Talking to a phone won't help.
Trust me, even if you think that it would, IT JUST WON'T HELP!
Saying, "yeah, yeah, yeah" isn't going to do you any good.
Screw you, bitch!
What is she saying?
Of course, you don't get Hindi, you ignorant pigs.
I am telling you to get out of here,
meet some friends if you are sad.
Holding on to your phone is only going to mess up your head.
You will look mad if you try to talk to someone,
but you'll surely go mad,
if you keep making out with your fucking phone, Goddammit!
How preposterous is this idea Mr.Bhalla, shut it!
That's the best part Miss Scott.
Once you download this App, you can never shut it.
It's because you don't need to go back to it,
it keeps coming back to you.
It also sets an alarm for its own self.
Hello, talking to you J!
Namaste, girl.
Not only that,
it also uses the personal information from your phone to blackmail you,
as it starts sending the messages to the most wrong people.
I was just snooping into your phone now, Jeliene...
And oh my God, I've found some naked selfies.
Wohooo.
You naughty J, I love this pose.
This is my phone!
What...what are you doing in my phone?
Let's snoop into the roly-poly boss's phone now.
Oh, my my!
This babe certainly doesn't look like your wife, uncle.
Who is this beautiful mermaid?
I can see your private bank details, your secret contact list.
I just want to upload it right now...
- for the World to see how - No, no...
- sexy these selfies are. - No, no...
Let's go live in 3...2...1...
Just Kidding!
So, what do you think?