For those of you who were too fucking busy
this is what happened last week on "Shameless."
How are you doing?
In general or about us?
- 'Us.' - Confused.
- You? - Same.
There's a policy against fraternizing
'with the professors.'
I don't want to fraternize.
I-I want to fuck you.
- 'Sweetheart?' - 'It's my husband.'
(Lip) Her and her hubby, they have this agreement.
You know, they-they're evolved.
This is Lip.
This woman is just tearing me up.
I just can't shake her.
(Veronica) This that doctor from the other day?
- Cancer? - Stage three, pancreatic.
- When did you find that out? - Ten minutes ago.
(Frank) Drugs, companionship, pro bono sex.
What more could a dying woman want?
Can I just crash here? I got nowhere else to go.
(Lip) Go home. Make up with your wife. It's time.
Did Theo say something?
Can't leave the fucking state to be with my son.
I'm not gonna leave until I know you're okay.
Go home.
I called this afternoon to check.
It turns out they have been looking for Ian for a while.
Why, Sammi?
- Retribution. - Aah!
- Ian. - He didn't do anything!
(Sammi) 'It's a shame when someone you love gets taken away.'
Isn't it?
[theme music]
♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪
♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪
♪ You were beaming once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this down side ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so sure of? ♪
♪ Round up the friends you got ♪
♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪
♪ You were willing once before ♪
♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪
♪ What is this down side ♪
♪ That you speak of? ♪
♪ What is this feeling ♪
♪ You're so ♪
♪ Sure of? ♪♪
(Bianca) I never liked the smell.
Every man, woman, and child should experience
a single malt before their time is up
and it can't just be any bottle.
Every whiskey is different.
Can I help you?
Uh, we got this covered.
You see, there's the Lowland area
Highland, Islay, Campbeltown..
You have to factor in age, what kind of oak they use to--
What's your most expensive whiskey?
Let's see, I've got a 30-year Highland Park
for $300 and change.
Mm-hmm. That's the best?
I've got a Macallan '39 in back.
Distilled while World War II was breaking out.
- Mm. - Only bottled a limited number.
- H-how much? - $10,100.
[scoffs]
You're serious?
It's for investors
but, um, this Highland Park is--
We'll take the whatever you said
from World War II.
The Macallan?
Right.
I said I'll take it.
Uh, excuse me.
Throw in a couple of those Dominican cigars over there.
[both laugh]
I'm sure it's good hooch
but for ten fucking grand?
I'm not gonna be alive to pay off my credit card.
What does it matter?
Such wisdom from one so young.
[instrumental music]
Sean, everything okay? You're late.
I'm not late. I had to meet the new produce supplier.
Uh, I-I'll be right there.
Look, I wanted to make sure you're okay--
Yeah, I'm fine. You helped me through some shit
and I'm grateful.
No, what I'm trying to ask has nothing to do with you.
Well, how could that possibly be
when the world revolves around me?
Look, I have to leave early, okay?
I have to leave in a few minutes
and I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it.
Sarah's gonna take my tables.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
It's just a nice day to visit my brother
in military prison.
Okay.
Oh, and Ian won't be making his shift tomorrow
since my heinous cunt of a half-sister called the fuck..
[glass shatters]
Oh, shit.
Yeah, thanks.
Oh, yeah. It's just a--
- Ah! - It's a bunch of little shards.
Here, let me clean you up. Come here.
So, what did Ian do?
Joined the Army last year
and it didn't go well.
Hand.
Now they're charging him with being AWOL and..
Aah. Aah.
And?
Destruction of federal property.
Something to do with a helicopter.
And they don't know that he's bipolar
'cause he won't tell them 'cause he barely admits it to himself.
Where are they holding him?
An army base in North Chicago.
Just hold still.
And his boyfriend was supposed
to take us, but now he can't
because his brothers are using their car
for I don't know, I'm assuming a, a bank robbery or a drive-by.
Meanwhile, I'm fantasizing about setting Sammi's fucking clothes
on fire while she's wearing 'em.
I mean, she ratted Ian out and put Carl in juvie and--
Yeah, quit, quit twitching. Just...breathe.
Alright? Did you get any sleep last night?
- At least an hour. - Mm.
Here's what we do.
We take the day one moment at a time.
Sarah closes out your tables, I pull glass from your hand
you refrain from setting people on fire
then we grab my Cadillac, pick up your family
go visit Ian, alright? Hold still.
- Damn it. - You don't have to do that.
Damn right. It's nice of me.
[grunting]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
Mm..
Hey, so, uh..
What is cocktail attire?
What?
Well, well, that party tonight
you said it was, uh..
You said it was cocktail attire?
Were you thinking about that while I was on top of you?
No, no, no, it was when I was on top of you
and then that part where you arched your legs above my head.
[chuckles]
Don't worry about the clothes.
There's a friend of mine that I want you to meet.
Yeah? Who's that?
Well, he works at an aerospace lab.
Could get you a job someday.
- Oh, no shit? - Mm.
Hey, you, uh, you take all your student flings
to go meet your friends, or am I special?
Is there a right answer to that question?
Oh, shit. I gotta go.
Class?
Gotta go see my brother at the army base.
- 'Mm.' - Catch a train.
- 'To where?' - Uh, Great Lakes.
North Chicago?
Yeah.
[keypad beeping]
Hello, my love.
Hi, I, well, I'm here with Lip
and he's heading to the army base
near the Great Lakes train station.
When are you leaving?
Would you?
Okay, I'll tell him.
Bye, love.
So my husband is on his way
to Waukegan in ten minutes.
He says to meet him at 59th and Dorchester
and he'll give you a ride.
Uh.. Yeah.
You know, good. Thanks.
See if it's safe to leave?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, hey, wait, wait, wait.
[instrumental music]
What the hell is that?
Shipping crate. You moving?
[scoffs] In my dreams.
Want me to come in with you?
No, it's faster if I just run in and grab him.
- Everybody ready? - 'Mickey's upstairs.'
Lip's meeting us there, said it was easier to take the train.
- Mickey! - I called the army base.
But they won't let me talk to Ian.
Are you ready to go on an adventure?
You ready? Let's go.
What are we doing about Sammi?
- She's here? - Mm-hmm.
That's how you know. She drinks our soda and leaves the cap off.
Bitch is in the basement packing her shit right now
to head upstate. Her moving crate out front.
We can't just let her go. For Carl's sake and Ian.
She has money for a moving crate?
Excuse me, coming through.
Need a little help with that?
- No, thanks. - Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure, you inbred, hoodlum piece of wet dog shit.
But if you have something to say, go ahead.
I didn't think so.
Then excuse me while I go visit my son
who, thanks to all of you, is in juvie
and will probably celebrate his 14th birthday there.
After that, I'll finish packing and then morning, I'll be gone.
That work for you?
You bet.
Family sucks ass.
Well, you commute all the way to North Chicago on this?
Yeah. It's only 40 minutes.
[instrumental music]
Thanks.
[engine revving]
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah. There's some puree over there for your son, uh..
Ah! Okay, last time. Tell me his name.
Yevgeny.
"Yevgenena." Got it.
- You stay here now? - I guess so.
You still need me, yes? I cook, I clean, wifely duties.
I sleep on couch.
Wifely duties is?
Oral manipulation of penis.
No. No, no, no.
See, I-I can see how you think
how oral manipulation is no biggie
but for people who haven't handled, like, a lot of dicks
a million dicks, they don't think that way.
- You want I ask V? - Absolutely not.
- Ask what? - What?
Oh, just if Svetlana needs to, uh, watch the girls.
Now that you and Kev are back together.
Oh, we're not back together.
'When I asked him why he was here'
he said it was because he got kicked out of the dorm.
That's what happened. What, am I missing something?
Having nowhere to go and getting back with your wife
because you want to work on your relationship?
- Two different things. - Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- You want to get back together? - Not like this.
But I do want to work on the relationship.
Not what you said.
But that's not the question you asked!
Well, I shouldn't have had to.
Okay, I-I didn't realize that
when you asked, "Why are you here?"
it meant, "Do you want to get back together?"
Because when you say that
those words, to me, have a normal meaning.
I didn't know it had a secret meaning.
But we cleared that up now. V, come on.
Paco. Hello?
V, got a broken water pipe here.
'It's real bad.'
Where?
Well, did you call the plumber?
- Busted pipe in the main room. - Oh, shit.
Alright, we'll be there whenever we can.
- We should go deal with this. - What, we're going together?
Yeah. Not "together" together.
Yeah, well, I meant that too, alright?
Excuse me while I go get my tools.
You do that.
[instrumental music]
I'm not a religious man, per se
but this whiskey will make you believe in God
maybe even talk to him.
No, no, no, no. Wait, no. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck!
- Who are we hiding from? - My family.
My sister as much as told me
they're planning an intervention.
She has a key to my apartment.
They're probably going up to wait for me, ambush me.
What kind of intervention?
They want to drag me to the hospital for treatment.
I told them I'm not going, but my sister thinks
that when I learned I had cancer
I had a mental breakdown, and now I'm..
...drinking with an old homeless man.
That part is true, but..
I'm not homeless. I told you, I have a home.
I'm just not welcome there.
Should we go up to the roof? It's a nice place to drink.
Most places are.
Hi, Fiona Gallagher here for Ian Gallagher.
IDs.
Charming.
Bottom line, Sammi's a fuckin' snitch.
I know people who take that shit real serious.
What do you mean?
I mean, people who will slip that bitch a roofie
strap her to a chair, and pull her fucking teeth out.
[scoffs] Whoa.
Is he serious? 'Cause I'm on parole.
Much as I might like to, we are not torturing Sammi.
[engine revving]
Nice scooter.
Get back in the vehicle, now.
Jesus, keep your shirt on.
Well, thanks, Theo.
GI Joe's not fucking around, huh?
Man's got a rifle. Just want to point that out.
You warm the cup
with your hands, like this
and swirl to release the aroma.
Inhale..
...and sip.
That's good shit.
Of course it better be for ten Gs.
It tastes like..
...the inside of a barn.
[laughs] But in a good way, right?
- Ugh, ugh. - Woman after my own heart.
Oh, God.
[cell phone ringing]
Ugh, now they're calling.
Thought you got rid of that phone.
My sister got me another so we'd stay connected.
And dying is lonely. I just wish she understood.
You want to feel alive up until the day you croak.
Yes, that's it exactly.
I've always been so cautious.
But there's no reason for that anymore.
[laughs]
Aah.
- Oh, oh, oh, easy. - Oh!
Oh.
Frank, look at this view.
[chuckles] Uh..
- Hah.. - Uh..
[laughing]
Little windy today.
[sighs]
O-okay.
Three, two, three. I..
I took ballet till I was 12.
'Fourth position.'
F-fifth position.
- Pirouette. - Oh, no, no, no. Easy, eas..
[coughs]
Hey.
You okay?
Come on, let's get you off of this..
[grunts] Je-Jesus!
(Bianca) 'Oh! Oh! Frank!'
Oh. Oh, are you okay?
- I dropped my cup. - I know. It's okay.
- There's plenty more. - Yeah, yeah.
That's only about 600 bucks worth of booze.
- Oh, Frank. - Hey.
I tell you what, let's get off this roof
and get our feet on solid ground, okay?
[gasps] I know! Let's get crack.
[both chuckle]
Private Ian Gallagher, enlisted as Phillip Gallagher
has been accused of having gone AWOL
theft and sabotage of government property
and falsifying a federal document
specifically an application to join the US Armed Forces.
'The AWOL charge alone carries a maximum penalty'
'of up to five years in prison.'
'I'm Staff Sergeant Nathan Kipps, investigating officer.'
'It is my job to determine the circumstances of these crimes.'
'Tomorrow morning, I will make a recommendation'
'as to whether Private Gallagher will face a court-martial.'
You decide?
Excuse me, sir, Ian is clinically bipolar.
The army should not be court-martialing him.
If anything, you should be helping him.
This diagnosis was made by a doctor?
Yes, yes, sir, and we can, uh, we can get you
those medical records, too.
- 'When was the diagnosis made?' - Recently.
But he's been acting crazy for-for longer than that.
Yeah, at least this past year.
How would you characterize his behavior?
Compared to how he used to be? He's different.
(Lip) 'H-he'll go back and forth from, you know, being depressed'
to, you know, incredibly wound up.
Uh, I mean, he-he ran off with a-a baby for no reason.
He almost hit me in the head with a baseball bat.
Our mother was bipolar, so we know what it looks like.
She put us through hell, and..
I-I'm not saying that you put us through hell
but when they're manic, they can be destructive.
(Nathan) 'In your opinion, does he require medication?'
(Fiona) 'Yes.'
(Nathan) 'Is he unable to care for himself?'
Sometimes, yes.
Holy shit.
- 'Niagara Falls.' - 'Is the plumber coming?'
Said he could close the pipe
but you gotta get a flooding service here
to dry off the walls and the floor.
Gonna be five grand.
To mop up water? Shit, I can mop up water.
No, no, no, we're gonna do it ourselves.
This happened to us last year in the bathroom
and all I did was tighten the..
Oh, what do you call the, uh, you know what I'm saying.
You still need me?
No, man, you're good.
Alright, I'll text Svetlana
tell her we're gonna be a while.
You know, having a Russian sex worker
isn't ideal for childcare.
Yeah, but she does come in handy.
- You didn't fuck her, right? - What?
I was just checking.
Hell no, I would never fuck Svetlana.
Or let her blow you?
You let that bitch give you a blowjob? Seriously?
That's one way of looking at it
but I was practically a bystander.
If my dick wasn't physically attached..
Her and her wifely duties.
Bitch is full service. I should have known.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
"Wifely duties." Did she say that to you?
Holy shit!
'You had sex with her, too!'
V, that, that is..
...really hot.
But if you're still angry, so am I. I'm more angry.
Are we even now? Does that cancel each other out?
- Drop it. - Got it.
But let me ask you one thing.
Svetlana went down on you, right?
Or was it kinkier than that?
- You want details? - Hell yeah.
Me and another woman getting hot and heavy
doing dirty, nasty things.
- Oh, baby. - Well, we're not together.
So you don't get stories. Tighten the damn pipe.
[door opens]
- Oh, nice. - We're closed, Tommy.
Oh, come on, V, we don't mind a little water.
Besides, I got a sump pump at the demo site.
I'll bring it by, if you want.
- 'Really?' - What's he doing?
Shut-off valve's out back.
I know the shut-off valve is out back
but this is a lot better than it was before.
Oh.
Fuck!
[laughing]
Whoo! Make it rain, Kev!
[Tommy laughs]
Five years? And that's just for going AWOL all because of Sammi.
Army guy gets it wasn't Ian's fault, right?
I don't know. We'll know tomorrow.
Hey, you got room in there to take me to the train?
- Always room in a Caddy. - Thanks.
So it went okay?
Did our best. Sorry to make you wait.
Not at all.
[cell phone ringing]
Uh, give me a sec.
- Hi. - Hey, I just have a minute.
But I got some news.
Okay.
The, uh, tour's off.
(Gus) 'I've been opening for Camille, and the lead singer'
'has nodes on her vocal chords.'
'So, one more gig and we're headed home.'
Wow. When are you back?
(Gus) 'Couple of days.'
You bummed the tour got canceled?
No.
(Fiona) 'How come?'
I mean, if we're gonna figure out
how we feel about each other
we should be in the same city.
You've got a point.
♪ It's always hot ♪♪
Everybody comfortable?
No. Put Liam on your lap.
Come here, buddy. Come on.
This, my friends, is how we properly maintain a broken pipe.
Oh, you're a genius, Tommy.
Alright. So the pump should drain the water.
Get all your fans together.
I got some fans in the back of my truck.
We'll bring 'em in here and dry the place out.
Now, this is gonna get me free drinks for a year, right?
- Yeah, right. More like a week. - Top shelf?
Top shelf here is the cheap shit just on a different shelf.
Yeah. All your outlets are shorted.
I'm gonna go look for a place to plug in.
Kev, you're in charge of the hose, alright?
Alright.
I know this sucks, but..
...it's kind of nice that we're doing this together
even though we're not together.
There's something I should tell you. It's not a big deal.
Just so it doesn't come up later and freak you out.
What, you had a threesome with Svetlana and Fiona.
No. I went on a date with a guy.
- A date? - It's no big deal.
I didn't even make it to dinner.
What about you?
I didn't date anyone.
Did you fuck anyone?
Who?
[scoffs] Just girls at the dorm.
Girls? More than one?
I didn't even enjoy it, okay?
And what was I supposed to do? You left me, and dating's worse!
How the fuck is dating worse?
Dating is the first step to a relationship.
Sex is the first step to, you know..
...sex.
V, let's not fight, okay? Let's not argue.
Can we just talk about our feelings or some shit?
Do not touch me, Mr. I Let Russian Whores Blow Me
Then I Fuck Random Co-eds.
And I felt bad about dating Eddie Murphy.
I'm a fucking idiot!
Eddie Murphy?
[instrumental music]
- Thanks for picking me up. - What happened?
I'll tell you on the way.
Did you say your family lived near Hamilton Park?
Yeah, yeah. Why?
The party might be near your house.
Uh, 76th and Parnell?
Oh, seriously? Yeah, that's, uh, that's right around the corner.
Thought so.
Oh, in the hood, I thought your social engagements
would be a bit more, uh..
- Upscale? - Yeah.
Well, the host is a realtor.
He says the area's up-and-coming.
I could've driven with my family.
But I brought you cocktail attire.
It's a Hugo Boss jacket, shirt, and tie.
[instrumental music]
Hey, you need a lift out there again tomorrow?
No, thanks. I'll have my own car.
(Debbie) 'You get roofies, I Google waterboarding.'
I say we put battery leads on her nipples
'and light her up like a fucking Christmas tree.'
That was really nice of you.
Oh, I agree.
Man, I've been with you since 11:00 a.m.
Haven't seen you eat. I was... going to Patsy's to close.
What if I were to cook up some steak and eggs, hash browns?
You can vent about your day.
They're invited.
Debs, you hungry?
No.
You okay with Liam if I go out?
- Yeah. - And no torturing Sammi, right?
Debs?
Looks like everything's pretty much handled on this end.
(Bianca) Should we ask him?
They won't have crack, they're winos.
We'll try up by the overpass.
The worst part about crack is long-term addiction
but I won't be around for long-term anything.
And when you think about the drugs
they would have me on at the hospital..
What did you say the survival rate was
for your kind of cancer?
Two percent.
And that's getting treatment, right?
- Mm. - What about remission?
What about people who aren't cured?
- What's your point? - Just thinking out loud.
You ever talked to someone getting chemo or radiation?
They feel like someone's clawing at their teeth from the inside.
They can't remember what day it is
or keep their eyes open.
They lay in bed all day and get bed sores that don't heal.
Is that how you would want to spend
your final days on this planet?
Believe me, I'm at peace with my decision.
I am with you all the way.
Let's go to the overpass.
I used to be afraid of train tracks.
Now it feels good to stand on it
go against my ins, instinct.
Oh, my God, feel my heart pound.
How about that?
Let's have sex.
Really?
On the tracks. There's no one around.
- Well, th.. - Yeah.
That wouldn't be my objection.
I'd have sex with you anywhere.
Just, it seems that this particular location
is fraught with unnecessary peril.
[laughs] Yeah.
If you want to stop, just tell me.
[instrumental music]
Ooh.
[clears throat]
I do like what they've done to it.
Hey, you know, if they ever go past that picket fence
they're gonna get fucking carjacked.
[indistinct chatter]
Let me go find Norbert.
Who?
Oh, uh, no. I'm okay, thank you.
Hey. Oh, Dr. Wallace.
Oh, thanks for t-the ride today.
Yeah, I didn't realize you were coming tonight.
Oh, no?
Hey, listen, um, I-I know the two of you
you have an understanding, um, you know
but if it pisses you off to have me around here
you can, you can just tell me.
Well, I appreciate that
but I have no problem with..
Is that my tie?
So Norbert, my friend from the aerospace lab
didn't make it.
Oh.
After I talked him up.
(Bill) 'Eileen.'
- Oh, Bill. There's our host. - Oh, yeah.
(Theo) 'Yeah, and Eileen.'
Lip, uh, this is Bill, and that's his wife, Eileen.
- Hi. - Um, as in lip?
Yeah, yeah, uh, that's it.
Well, we were saying how much we love the house.
- Yeah. - The detail.
Mm. Just finished the remodel.
Uh, of course, everyone thinks we're crazy for moving here.
Not a street you want to walk alone late at night, hmm?
I know, this is pretty scary, huh?
Mm, but that is changing.
There's a coffee house down on Maple Drive
'and a yoga studio.'
Lip grew up down the block.
Really? Oh, that must have been..
Well, uh, what do you do now?
Oh, I'm an undergrad.
Oh, good for you. It's impressive.
Yeah? How come?
Well, I just meant that--
I-I like, you know, coffee
you know, but t-the coffee shops and yoga studios, you know
they-they make it so the people I grew up with
you know, they can't afford to live here anymore.
You know, so, so the neighborhood's getting nicer
but it's just not really the neighborhood anymore, you know?
Um, listen, excuse me, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go get a smoke.
Um, it was nice to meet you.
Uh, you too.
[both groaning]
Is that us? 'Cause the tracks feel like they're vibrating.
I don't know, but it feels so good.
[train horn blaring]
- Oh! - Yep, that's a train.
- Oh! - What do you..
What do you say we take this party
and move it a few feet that way?
- Not yet, no. - What?
Oh, no. I'm gonna come. Oh! Oh!
[moaning]
Ah! We gotta go!
[train horn blaring]
[both moaning]
[laughing]
Ah! Ah! Ah!
That was amazing!
Oh, I could feel it in my nerve endings.
- 'Couldn't you? In my..' - Listen.
- We should clarify something. - Okay.
Because for me, personally
part of feeling alive is being alive!
What? I thought.. I thought..
I mean, I thought we were on the same page.
Since I-I'm dying and you're an aging alcoholic
with no purpose.. No offense.
I thought that we both..
...wanted to be doing something crazy when we go.
I was talking about enjoying life.
- Yeah. - Not ending it!
I have a brand new liver!
I'm not ready to slice it into pieces!
Oh. Oh, Frank, I'm so sorry.
It's, it's okay.
It's okay.
- The sex was great. - Yeah.
I-I think it could be great without the train.
Probably not, but what's important is that
we understand each other now.
- Of course. - For you, no trains.
- No. - And for me..
What I do is my decision.
- Oh, God! - Why does that upset you?
No!
No! No!
Oh, God.
[instrumental music]
The Macallan '39.
Tommy say where he wanted this fan?
You don't have to talk to me.
You can just point me in the right direction.
(Tommy) 'Gonna turn the water back on!'
Alright!
Fine, ignore me.
Really mature, when we could be working through this.
- Who says I want to? - Oh, my God!
I didn't fuck any of them more than once!
How many were there?
I'm not sure.
You see? That's how little they meant to me.
And is this really what we're fighting about?
Because when you moved out, it was not about college chicks.
It was because I was lonely, and you hadn't fucked me in a year!
But apparently, you have no problem fucking other girls.
Any idea how shitty that makes me feel?
Baby, I want to grow old with you.
I'm really sorry I didn't fuck you before
but...I really, really want to fuck you now.
I think about it constantly.
- Really? - You have no idea.
Tell me.
I borrowed Lip's school computer to get online
and I found that porn that we made
and then I jerked off to it.
- You did? - Yeah, three times.
That's so sweet.
[both moaning]
- 'Yes! Yes!' - 'Oh! Oh!'
- 'Oh, God!' - 'Oh, baby.'
- 'Oh! Oh, my God.' - 'Oh! Oh!'
[both moaning]
[indistinct chatter]
There you are. It's you.
Hi, mom.
I almost didn't get in 'cause my license is expired.
They thought I was a Muslim spy or something.
I'm glad you came.
You know, I, I wasn't sure you would when I called you.
Of course I would.
I hitched a ride with a tractor salesman
and, uh, a gorgeous collie dog.
I'd love a dog, you know?
But my boyfriend's allergic, so..
Oh.. You have a boyfriend. Since when?
Oh, yes, he's great.
His name is Walter, and he's very handsome.
- I'd like to meet him. - Oh, definitely.
I don't know where he is right now
but, uh, he always turns up.
When are you getting out of this place?
I'll, I'll know more tomorrow, but it's..
It's good to see you. Um..
I'm really glad you came, you know? I just..
I needed someone to talk to who...gets it.
- You know, t-the others try-- - Yeah, yeah.
Does Fiona know I'm here?
No, no, they don't know we still talk.
Oh.
Which is funny
'cause they all say how alike we are.
That's probably not a compliment.
Uh.. No, I think it is.
Oh..
Ian, there's always gonna be people..
...that are gonna try and fix us.
And you can never make those people happy.
Like, it breaks their heart just to look at you.
Yeah, um, um, even Mickey, now.
That's your boyfriend, right?
Yeah. Yeah, you remember him?
I'm sure he means well
but you need to be with people
who accept you for who you are.
And they're out there.
You should never apologize
for being you.
You, Ian.
I love you.
Should we dance on the tables?
Well, it's an option, but I know what you really want.
You do?
I do.
I'm gonna give it to you.
[instrumental music]
Holy shit, that looks good.
Gotta crack the eggs with one hand.
- Can I try? - Oh, sure.
♪ Oh yeah when you know me.. ♪
Yeah, you.. No.
- Mm. - Ha-ha-ha!
- Shit. - Alright.
We'll scramble that one.
[cell phone chimes]
Ah, that'll be alright.
Hey, if Ian wants his job back when he gets out
it's here for him.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
I know that probably wasn't that fun today
but you did it for his sake.
I'm impressed.
I wonder if I'll end up taking care of him.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Mickey's got no idea what he's in for.
I'm scared of the idea, but--
But drawn to it.
Using other people's problems to ignore your own.
Like you're doing with me.
Yeah, kind of like that.
Yeah, we're good for each other.
Although, according to NA, I'm not supposed to lean
on anyone that I'm deeply attracted to.
It complicates things.
'Can you hand me that tray?'
♪ When a woman makes a man feel like he's needed ♪
♪ Like he's in love ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ And makes him know he's wanted like.. ♪♪
[Norbert coughs]
[Norbert chuckles]
- Oh. - Oh, sorry, man.
Didn't see you.
Uh, besides, the line
for the bathroom was way long, so--
Oh, no, go for it.
It's, uh, it's not my house.
(Norbert) 'Yeah.'
I would, uh, shake your hands, but..
- No, no need. - Alright.
All this fancy landscaping seems a little out
of place when you consider it's kind of--
Before you go and say it's a shitty neighborhood
you should know I live right down the block.
Oh.
Then you know it's a shitty neighborhood.
[chuckles]
Hey, you, uh, you know the owner, or--
No, I just met him.
I mean, he seems nice
but that party is
is not my scene, man.
I think I insulted the guy.
Oh. He deserve it?
Well, he moved here.
Well, then fuck him.
Let's piss in his bushes.
[laughs]
- Hey. - You made it.
And you two found each other.
What do you mean?
- This is Norbert. - Oh, shit.
Uh, Aerospace Norbert, right?
Oh. That's how you should address me.
Look at him, he's got normal clothes on.
You made me wear a, a jacket and a tie.
Oh, but you look so nice.
You do look very nice. You do.
Uh, you want to split and grab dinner?
You up for that?
- Yeah. - 'Yeah?'
Okay, good. I'll get Theo.
Oh, I'm gonna get a drink for the road.
Cool, I'll, uh, I'll just be out front.
[keyboard keys clacking]
[knock on door]
Who is it?
Yo. About Sammi--
Shut the door.
I came up with a plan.
- Thought we already did that. - Shut the door.
Alright.
When Sammi comes back to put the rest of her stuff
in the moving crate, we put roofies in the soda.
[instrumental music]
[exhales]
When she passes out, we tie her up.
[screaming]
I was wrong, and I'll never bother any of you again!
[laughing]
[screaming]
So when will you have the roofies?
- I already gave 'em to her. - What do you mean?
I mean, she's downstairs on the floor, passed out.
- Go look. - Oh!
Okay.
(Debbie) 'Hah. No way. How much did she have?'
Enough, I guess.
Let's move her to the chair.
You think family sucks ass, you stupid bitch?
[grunts] You ain't seen nothing yet.
[Debbie grunts]
Her eyes are open. Is that normal?
- She awake? - I don't know.
She's not moving.
She's breathing, right?
- Ah, fuck. - What?
- She's dead. - What?
Looks like you got that car battery for nothing.
What do you mean she's dead?
All you gave her was a roofie.
What is a roofie, anyway?
- How much did you give her? - 'Alright, look, look.'
'She didn't drink enough to kill her, okay?'
She take other pills? Xanax?
- Percocet? - How should I know?
I-I mean, she does, she does take pills in the morning.
Well, there you go. Fuckin' pill head, serves her right.
We have to call 911. Th-they can bring her back.
No. Hey, look, you want to get locked up?
No, I.. Give me the phone! We.. They can save her!
The fuck they can. Look at her, she's fuckin' dead.
Oh, no!
Pain in the ass.
You got a hacksaw?
Don't worry about it. It gets too messy.
Ain't it past his bedtime?
- Liam! No, don't look! - 'Little late for that.'
Look, put the kid to bed, come back, we'll deal with this.
'Come on, Debbie, go. Go.'
Night, buddy!
[upbeat music]
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, well, lookie here.
Oh, look at you, all dapper.
We look like we just crawled out of a sewer.
- Yeah, why you guys all wet? - Oh, it's, uh--
[laughing]
It's a long story.
What's up, man? Why you all dolled up?
- You at this party? - Uh.. Oh!
Um, this is, uh, Helene, and Theo, and, uh, Norbert.
This is, uh, Kev and V.
Nice to meet you.
- You live in the neighborhood? - Yeah. Down there.
Wonderful.
We're not always this wet and grimy.
Just, uh..
Uh, listen, we were just, we were just heading out, actually.
- Oh, yeah. Cool. - Yeah.
Yeah, we gotta get home anyway.
Alright, well, I'll, you know, we'll catch up soon?
- Very good night. - Okay.
- It was nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
They seem nice.
I never thought I'd do any of that shit
kids are supposed to dream about, you know?
Being a doctor or an astronaut.
I mean, selling cups, that felt realistic, but..
I fucked that up anyway.
To self-sabotage.
Is this a date?
I don't know.
Could be.
Why, are you hoping it is a date?
Or you're afraid we got mixed signals?
No. I like the signals.
Yeah, I'm enjoying them, too.
It's just, uh..
I recently got married to someone else
and then five minutes later, I screwed my ex..
And so you've met your quota?
Sort of..
No.
I-I'm, I'm pretty capable of maintaining
a slutty streak.
I see.
So, if you and I were gonna have something real..
...it wouldn't start tonight.
You sold that pretty well.
[giggles] Good! Good!
- Can I get more hash browns? - Yeah, yeah.
So when does the quota reset?
'Cause, um, I'm free tomorrow night, too.
[chuckles]
Fucking gross.
When's the moving company pick this shit up?
You're asking me?
I'm just saying, if it's days
she's gonna smell..
Fuck!
Mickey, Debs. This is Bianca.
- Hello. - Say, is, uh, Lip at school?
- He's not in his room, is he? - No.
- What's in the crate? - How the fuck should I know?
- You were locking it. - I wasn't locking it.
I never touched that lock. Get your eyes checked.
I-it's true, I was right here. He never touched it.
- Okay. - I don't feel well.
We'll be inside.
[sighs]
What the fuck's a girl like that doing with Frank, anyway?
♪ Same beat y'all ♪
♪ Just keep that same old beat y'all ♪
♪ Lord that's plenty ♪
♪ It feels so good to be this high ♪
♪ Oh baby ♪
♪ Lord don't stop now ♪
♪ Oh honey play it funky y'all ♪
♪ I like that y'all ♪
♪ Just give it just like you got it ♪
♪ Are you ready? ♪ ♪ Yes ♪
♪ Just keep that same old beat y'all ♪
♪ Ow ♪♪
[upbeat music]
[Bianca gagging]
Everything alright?
[water flushing]
- That was fun. - Too much scotch?
Just cancer.
I brought you a banana and some water
to help settle the stomach.
Thanks.
So, how do we do this?
[groans]
Do I just put it in the pipe and light it?
Uh..
Let's smoke some reefer instead.
Huh? I already tried it.
It's just that crack really plays havoc
on the old immune system.
Oh, if you don't want any, I totally get it.
I don't.. I-I didn't--
Can you just hold the lighter?
'Please?'
Thanks.
Here we go.
[instrumental music]
[coughing]
[breathing heavily]
[whispering] Oh, my God. I can't believe it.
[laughing]
Oh, my God.
[music continues]
Tired yet?
Mm, not even.
[sighs]
You sound tired.
Gus called and asked how I was doing.
I didn't tell him that we were at an army base.
Or that Ian was in trouble.
I said I had nothing to report.
[sighs] I don't know why I did that.
We want people to think
we live reasonable lives.
I don't mean to cast aspersions on your relationship
with your husband, but I'd like to point out
that when I came in this morning..
...you told me what was happening.
'In detail.'
Tired yet?
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[gasps]
[whispering] Frank! Frank!
- What? - 'My family is here.'
- For fuck's sake-- - In the room.
- Morning. - My God.
Bianca, you have to come with us to the hospital.
The doctors are expecting us.
We're calling the police.
You broke into his house.
We didn't break in.
Uh, mom?
- Oh, for God's sake. - 'Sorry.'
Morning wood. Sorry.
I have a pair of pants around if you've seen 'em.
The crack pipe is bad enough, but this guy?
If you beat the cancer and learn you have AIDS--
Oh, God! How did you even find me?
Did you follow us here?
- You texted me. - What?
(Elizabeth) I woke to your text this morning
asking us to get you, with the address.
Even said you'd leave the door open.
- See? - No. No, I never sent that.
- 'Well, someone did.' - Well..
- Why would you do that? - What? No!
- I-I-I-- - Oh, my God!
Well, I thought maybe if we got
another couple of months together or years even..
Can you blame me? We have a connection.
I am not in love with you, Frank.
Please, can you, can you please just wait downstairs?
I'll get dressed and.. Wait for me.
I'll come and meet you.
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, dad.
I'm, I-I'm sorry about that. I was high.
- I wasn't thinking clearly. - There is a back stairway, yes?
You're not going to the hospital? Where are you going?
Thinking Costa Rica!
Oh, my God.
That is perfect.
Just, uh, give me a couple of minutes.
I gotta, I gotta find my passport.
My meds. I cannot forget my meds.
Goodbye, Frank.
[instrumental music]
Dying is lonely. We know that.
Doesn't have to be.
Do you even have a passport?
Who's Diego Mustafa?
I have no idea. But it's worked before.
Scoot over.
[music continues]
Hi, Fiona Gallagher here to see our brother, Ian.
- Ian Gallagher was released. - Fuckin' A.
- Oh, my God. - That's amazing.
Guess there's an upside to be a psycho, huh? We clear to go in?
Actually, Mr. Gallagher's not at this facility.
'I need you to back it up and exit that lane.'
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Where is he?
Mr. Gallagher was released into the care
of a Monica Gallagher.
Fuck.
Holy shit.
[cell phone ringing]
Hey.
Oh, enjoy your big, empty, lonely SUV
you motherfucking yuppie piece of shit!
Don't worry. We'll get another one.
(Monica) Oh, yes! Ooh, Ian, come on. Come on.
Anywhere south of here is great.
Oh, a dog!
Oh, I want a dog!
Oh!
Hey. Well, thanks.
Ooh, get warm with the dog.
[instrumental music]
(Sammi) 'Help! Help!'
♪ Feel my pain and come inside ♪
♪ Or stay the course ♪
♪ With a bulldozing force ♪
♪ Riding on a demon-possessed horse ♪
♪ There's a place out there ♪
♪ People go and never come back ♪♪