STEFAN: Mystic Falls. I was born here.
This is my home.
DAMON: And mine.
ELENA: And mine.
STEFAN: For centuries, supernatural creatures have lived among us.
ELENA: There were vampires, werewolves, doppelgängers.
BONNIE: Witches. KLAUS: And even hybrids.
STEFAN: Then there's Elena. She's one of us now.
Why am I acting like this?
STEFAN: There may be one chance to save her.
Nice ink.
Tell them what the tattoo leads to.
-He said there was a cure. -No one must know about the cure.
STEFAN: The hunter holds the key, but he'll stop at nothing to kill us all.
(DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING)
CONNOR: You have any idea what I've been through?
I spent the last two days chained up by an Original vampire.
So you met Klaus. I only know him by reputation.
Apparently he's a real monster.
He's a vampire-werewolf hybrid. Do you know how hard it is to kill them?
From what I gather, you have to remove their head or their heart.
That's according to lore. I'm just speculating.
I had to figure it out on my own.
I could've used some of this occult professor knowledge of yours.
You've always been slow when it comes to answers.
We had a deal.
I'll give you answers about your Hunter's Mark when it's grown to completion.
So kill as many vampires as possible.
Come on, Connor, why do you think I sent you to Mystic Falls?
There's no shortage of vampires. That town is practically infested.
Listen, there's a witch mixed up in all of this.
She's important to what I have planned. I want her to be kept out of harm's way.
Anybody gets in my way, anybody, they're dead.
Okay.
Sure. I'll occupy her myself.
Just do what you do.
The less I know about it, the better.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(GASPS)
Do I have your attention?
Good.
Now let's talk about vampires.
ELENA: Dear Diary, I know it's been a while.
A long while.
I haven't needed--
(ELENA SIGHS)
I haven't wanted to write this stuff down.
But I don't wanna say it out loud, either.
The thing is, I'm a vampire.
And I hate it.
STEFAN: She's been spiraling since her transition.
There are times I barely recognize her.
But now, for the first time in a while, there's hope.
ELENA: I feel hopeless, depressed, angry.
But most of all, I'm scared.
STEFAN: Somewhere in the world...
...there's a cure for vampires.
If I can get it, Elena can be human again.
I can give her back her life.
ELENA: Part of me just wants to end it.
But then I think of Jeremy. I'm all that he has left.
So I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes.
STEFAN: So that's what I need to do.
No matter what Klaus asks...
...no matter what lies I have to tell, or secrets I have to keep, I'll do it.
No matter what it takes.
(BUZZING)
-How did Connor escape? -I blame incompetence.
But pointing fingers isn't gonna help. You're gonna help.
STEFAN: Well, he could be anywhere now. KLAUS: Think, Stefan.
He took the hybrid's head, which means he wants werewolf toxin.
Which means he plans to stay in Mystic Falls to kill vampires.
Pity. As I'm half the world away digging up a dead hunter...
...you'll have no access to my blood and therefore the antidote.
Nevertheless, his tattoo is our only map to the cure...
...so your task is simple.
Find him, catch him, and above all, keep him alive. He's no good to us dead.
Damon's been looking for him. If they cross paths--
-Keep Damon in check. -It'd be easier if I could tell the truth.
You trust Damon with the cure?
I imagine he prefers Elena the way she is.
Nice try, but I trust Damon a lot more than I trust you.
And I trust no one, which is why my sister is lying daggered in a box.
The more who find out about the cure, the more who will go after it.
Nations have gone to war over less.
Mark my words:
Tell one soul and I'll throw the Hunter's Sword in the Mediterranean...
...and we can end this quest right now. Am I understood?
Really? Jeremy, you're half an hour late. Get here, now.
APRIL: Uh, Matt?
Uh, hey, April, we don't open till 11.
Oh, sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you or stalk you, or whatever.
I just-- Um, I came to ask if you've seen Rebekah.
Why would I have seen Rebekah?
Oh, I just assumed... I mean, aren't you guys kind of, like, a thing?
Heh. Rebekah and I are not a thing.
Well, I mean, I'm worried about her. She said she'd help me find stuff out...
...about the fire that killed my dad, and then she just disappeared.
Trust me...
(APRIL GASPS)
...that's the least of your problems.
Oh.
Excuse me. What are you doing?
Where's Stefan?
-Okay. Uh, good morning to you too. -He's not answering his phone.
And he's not here, which, big deal,
we've only got a killer vampire hunter on the loose.
I haven't talked to him yet today.
Hmm.
Give me your phone. Maybe he's dodging me.
Why would he be dodging you?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe the hot, sweaty dance-party business.
I figured you spilled your guilty guts the minute I left last night.
Oh. You didn't tell him, did you?
No, Damon. I didn't tell him that I got high on blood like some crackhead...
...and then dirty danced with you.
It was a mistake. Okay? I wasn't myself.
And besides, he's already got enough to deal with...
...trying to get me through this vampire stuff.
No, I see. Classic shame spiral.
(PHONE LINE RINGING)
-I'm not in a shame spiral. -Oh, you so are. Newbie-vampire remorse.
-Phew. It's worse than a hangover. -I'm not in a shame spiral, Damon.
STEFAN (ON RECORDING): Hey, it's Stefan. Leave a message.
-So either he's dodging both of us-- -Or something's wrong.
Sit down. Sit down!
Give me your phone.
Let April go. She doesn't have anything to do with this.
She has everything to do with this. Her and her father.
She and I have history.
What are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life.
You kids need to get some vervain.
And don't wear it as a bracelet where anybody can just take it off.
Maybe then you'd remember our conversation at the Hybrid's.
Our conversation?
-You saying someone compelled me? -Someone tell me what he's talking about.
Compulsion. Secrets. Vampires.
If you know so much, you know our friends are gonna come for us.
Oh, yeah. I'm counting on it.
Every vampire that comes for you is another one I get to kill.
Now, who should I text first? Hmm?
Damon Salvatore? His brother, Stefan? Tyler Lockwood?
No. All of the above.
So we each take a different entrance, hit him at the same time.
-Stefan. -Where the hell have you been?
-Coming up with a plan. DAMON: We have a plan:
I rip Connor's heart out and feed it to him.
That's not a plan. Connor has Jeremy and who knows how many hostages.
-Hence the open heart surgery. -Damon's right.
-He's not gonna be able to take all of us. -I called in the hybrids to help too.
My mom put squad cars blocking the streets.
They're saying it's a faulty gas main.
-We're good to go. -Good. Great.
No cops, no witnesses, no reason to wait around.
-Hold on. You're not all going. TYLER: He shot me nine times.
-If we're killing him, I want in. -He's got Jeremy. I'm going.
Nobody's going anywhere until I figure out what we're walking into.
Until you figure it out?
Is that where you've been, out buying bossy pants?
He's known for traps. We'd be dumb to walk into one...
-...especially if he has werewolf venom. -Does he?
He's had it before.
Fine. Fine. You wanna take some time to do recon? You get one hour.
But we're gonna need extra help, so where's the wicked witch of the west?
-She can't do magic. -Really? Call her.
Tell her Jeremy's life is in danger.
Maybe that will bring her out of retirement.
I can't believe you wrote a book.
I did. I wrote three books, actually.
Two of them are just too mortifying to display.
-Oh, I'm finding them online. -No. No, you're not.
Hey, come on, you promised. Remember?
No cell phones and no Internet during witch therapy. Here, this is yours.
Right now I want you to focus. And I want your undivided attention.
You really think you can help me start practicing magic again?
Absolutely, I can. I invited you here because I can.
But you know what? Right now, just relax. Drink your tea.
I got this in Australia, backpacking with these Aborigine spirit guides.
Trust me, it's better when you smoke it, but I'm trying to be a role model.
(CHUCKLES)
Bonnie, listen, the thing is,
what I have in mind might come off as a little unorthodox.
Now I'm officially curious.
Good.
-What do you know about hypnosis? -You really think that would work?
You practice witchcraft but you don't believe in hypnotism?
Bonnie, listen...
...you're afraid to practice magic
because those witch spirits convinced you it's wrong.
They threatened your Grams and they made you feel guilty.
You just have to confront that fear and that guilt.
And remove it.
Maybe. I don't think hypnosis would work.
Witches are naturally immune to any sort of manipulation.
Really?
Well, let me ask you something.
Would you like to put that earring back on?
(CHUCKLES)
You expect me to care about bloody hostages?
STEFAN: Well, you should. Damon does. So does Caroline, Tyler, Elena.
If they get to Connor, you wasted a trip to Italy.
I can buy us time, but Damon's antsy.
So if you want Connor alive, you'd better get your hybrids onboard with my plan.
ELENA: Who is he talking to?
Bonnie, hopefully.
Maybe she's decided to make herself useful again.
-What is that? -It's our way in.
Courtesy of Alaric's interest in the Mystic Falls Underground Railroad.
Tunnels. Like the ones in the Lockwood cellar.
Yep.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-What did you find out? -I could only make out voices.
DAMON: How many hostages?
Three. But Elena, it's Matt and April Young.
-What? -Those two idiots are like danger magnets.
-We have to get them out of there. STEFAN: I need more time.
-The clock's ticking, brother. -I could do without the color commentary.
-I'm going in these tunnels. -No, you're not.
This guy doesn't know you're a vampire. Keep it that way.
That's it. I can offer to trade myself for the hostages.
No. Best case scenario is, now you're a hostage.
Worst case scenario, he figures you out, kills you on the spot.
Stop treating me like I can't handle myself.
Alaric trained me. And I've been practicing with Stefan.
So what? Now you're gonna take on a professional killer?
Bang, you're dead. Now what?
Head shot's no good, it has to be the heart.
So now you're dead.
(DAMON CHUCKLES)
For someone that doesn't wanna be like me...
...you sure are good at it.
My brother is the only thing that's holding me together right now, Damon.
If anything happens to him--
We'll get him out. I promise.
He's clearly delusional. I mean, right? All this talk about vampires?
But, I mean, he mentioned my dad--
Hey. This guy's a nut-job, okay? Don't let him get in your head.
APRIL (WHIMPERING): What if he knows something?
Jeremy.
Did he say anything to you about why he's doing this?
I don't know. Maybe. Or maybe I just can't remember.
Let it go. Jeremy.
-You said we had a conversation yesterday? -Mm-hm.
-About what? -We'll get into that.
First, take a look at my handiwork. Pick up some tips from the hunter's trade.
What is all that?
The fluid is derived from werewolf toxin.
Trip the wire, bomb goes off,
nails deliver a lethal dose into the blood stream.
And what's the point? What do you get out of all this?
I used to think that there was no "get."
That I was just supposed to do. Kill vampires.
That was until I realized that the mark held the answer to why I'm the way I am.
The more I kill, the more it grows.
And once it's complete...
...I'll know my story, and all this will have meant something.
Hey. We're gonna have visitors soon, you two get in the back.
Get up! Move!
And before you think about any other exits,
I've got every door rigged. Got it?
Stefan's on his way. This'll be over soon.
Will it? I mean, haven't we already been here before with Jeremy?
Isn't this why we sent him to Denver?
We'll get him out of this and compel him to the Bahamas.
Maybe he'll find an island girl.
(DOOR OPENS)
-Did you find the tunnel map? -Got it.
It was in his weapons drawer with seven stakes...
...some weird MacGyver crossbow and the last vervain in Mystic Falls.
-So how about we get this party started? -Not yet.
Klaus is sending one of his men.
He'll take the front. You and I, the tunnels.
Since when do we team up with Klaus and the Lollipop Guild?
Connor has werewolf venom. We need someone to draw his fire.
-Hybrids are immune, they're our best bet. -How are you sure he has werewolf venom?
Why is Klaus involved, Stefan?
-Stop being paranoid, Damon. -Start telling the truth, Stefan.
Why is Klaus involved? Did he compel you?
This is the best way to get everyone out.
What is with you two? We're wasting time.
Know what? She's right. Screw your plan. I'll kill Connor myself.
DAMON: Unh! -Stefan.
Why are you doing this?
Damon had the right idea with the tunnels.
But I'm not gonna go in there if I can't count on him to do it my way.
ELENA: If you can't count on him?
-You just vervained him. -Think he cares about April or Matt?
He'll get Jeremy out and go after Connor no matter who gets hurt.
-I'm coming with you. -You're not.
You need my help.
What if Connor attacks and you have to defend yourself? What if you kill him?
-Guilt would wreck you. -You don't think I'm afraid of that?
Of course I am.
Stefan, I'm barely holding it together. If Jeremy gets hurt--
I'll get Jeremy out, okay? I promise you. Listen to me.
This is the most important thing that I have ever asked you to do.
I just need you to trust me. Please.
Look, man, this guy is dangerous.
-He's highly trained. He's armed-- DEAN: I can handle myself.
Besides, Klaus asked me personally.
This is a bad idea.
-Uh, who are you? -Who the hell are you?
Caroline.
Oh, you're Tyler's girl. He told me about you. I'm Hayley.
Well, Hayley, that's pretty crazy because I haven't heard a thing about you.
-I've been staying here a few days. -Excuse me?
I needed a place to crash. Ty's a buddy, he was kind enough to offer.
I know all of Ty's buddies and I haven't heard about you...
...so how about we cut the crap?
Yeah, I don't do teen drama.
Take it up with Ty. Excuse me.
(SCOFFS)
-Dean, you don't need to do this. -Stay out of this, Hayley. I'm going.
Just listen to her, man. It's suicide.
Klaus told you to take Connor by yourself, and you can't fight back?
You have to use non-lethal force, what the hell is that?
-Klaus gave me a direct order. -It's too dangerous.
-That maniac killed Nate. -You're not a hybrid...
...you don't know what it's like. Klaus asks for something, you do it.
Look, I'm a hybrid. I used to do everything Klaus said.
But I don't anymore.
You don't have to either.
You think you can stand up to Klaus?
Prove it.
Tyler, don't.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
KLAUS: Hello. TYLER: Hey, Klaus.
Tyler. I hope you're not causing problems.
TYLER: I can do whatever I want.
-I'm not sired to you anymore. KLAUS: Fair enough.
Although, I do know your little secret about your time in Appalachia.
What was your friend's name?
Hayley, was it?
You'd probably prefer I kept that to myself.
I'm sorry, mate, are you gonna answer?
Or should I just assume you're back to being-- How did you phrase it?
Ah, yes. My little bitch.
(TYLER CLEARS THROAT)
Do whatever the hell you want.
That's it? You just backed down?
(RINGING)
-We're closed. -I want you to free the hostages.
I'll free them as soon as you give me what I want. You and everyone like you dead.
What, so your Hunter's Mark can grow?
Yeah, I know all about that. What it means, what you are.
You free the hostages and you and I can have a little chat.
I'll even tell you about the Brotherhood of the Five.
-Weak move. You must be desperate. STEFAN: Think about it.
Klaus saved your life, he needs you alive. Aren't you the least bit curious why?
When I was a kid...
...my dad used to tell me these scary stories about vampires.
JEREMY: They're just stories.
Not to that man out there.
There's something so familiar about him.
Look, this is a messed-up situation.
The last thing that you wanna do is buy into that guy's craziness.
You're gonna be fine.
-We're getting out of here. -What is that?
There used to be an exit through the old wine cellar.
They bricked it over.
So that's it then.
We're screwed.
No, we're not screwed.
There's no sign of anyone.
Stefan's coming from the other side.
He'll free the hostages, your job is to get Connor out alive.
And use caution, mate. He favors booby traps and ambushes.
Understood.
CONNOR: You may be a potential hunter...
...but you make one move, I will break all 27 bones in your hand.
They're not all bad, you know.
Some of them, they're my friends.
CONNOR: Friends, huh?
Yeah, I had a friend like that once.
She got turned by this vampire I was hunting. He thought it'd be ironic.
What happened to her?
I didn't wanna hurt her.
She promised that she would keep it under control...
...but a vampire's like a loaded gun. Eventually it's gonna go off.
That's when I got this.
So you killed your own friend?
Listen, if you're gonna be like me, you need to understand.
Vampires kill humans. Hunters kill vampires.
(CREAKING NEARBY)
We got company.
(YEAH YEAH YEAHS' "TICK" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
You make me, you make me, you make me
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick Time you take it
You look so good You take your time
Tick-tick-tick time
You take it, let's have a look
Tick-tick-tick time
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick- tick-tick-tick-tick time
(BEEPS)
Oh, my God.
-Aah! -Shh.
You make me, you make me
You make me, you make me wanna
(GROANS)
STEFAN: Follow this map, get out of here.
-Take her to Caroline's so she can... -Okay.
That guy's armed.
If you go out there he's gonna kill Jeremy.
-No one's killing anyone. Go. MATT: Come on.
(DETONATOR BEEPING)
STEFAN: Connor, you don't have to do this.
Stefan?
(DETONATORS BEEPING)
Stefan, call me. There was an explosion at the Grill,
I need to know what's happening.
(DAMON GROANS)
Damon? Hey.
-Can you get up? -Ugh. Where's Stefan? I'm gonna kill him.
(YELLS)
Ow.
He took your ring? Why would he do that?
Ugh. Because he's playing us.
All this stalling, getting hybrids, taking my ring. Add it up.
(DAMON GRUNTS)
He made a deal with Klaus or he's compelled.
-Then I need to get in there. -No, Elena. This guy's dangerous.
So am I, Damon.
Then you need to be smart.
He doesn't know you're a vampire.
You get as close as you can...
...you kill him.
Connor, we can end this right now.
-Just put down the gun and come with me. -Sure. Come out. I'll hand the gun over.
Think about this. No one has to die. I'll tell you everything you need to know.
I don't make deals with vampires!
Listen to me, if you die right now...
...then your whole life, all that killing, it'll all be for nothing.
I can give you the truth. Just put down the gun and let Jeremy go.
Please. Don't hurt him.
-You come any closer, he's dead. -Elena, get out of here.
He's the only family that I have left.
Just... Just let him go.
You hear that? Your girl's watching.
I will shoot the boy right in front of her.
On the count of three!
One...
...two...
(YELLS)
(GRUNTING)
Jeremy?
(PANTING)
I'm sorry, I...
It's okay.
You don't have to hide it. I know you're not gonna hurt me.
How did this happen, Jer?
Why did Connor come after you?
He said I was like him because I could see his tattoo.
-His what? -His Hunter's Mark.
It's invisible to everyone but me.
Stefan and Damon didn't tell you about it?
No.
Wait, who else knows about this?
(SIGHS)
Well, that's the thing. I don't even know.
Apparently, I was with Connor all day yesterday...
...but I can't remember.
Someone compelled me.
I think I know who.
(CONNOR GRUNTING)
DAMON: Good work, brother.
-It's over, Damon, I have him. DAMON: Not after what I went through.
I had to punch through a boiler-room basement...
...into a septic tank to get into this stupid tunnel.
-But it'll be worth it. -I'm taking him with me.
You're not. I don't know what you're up to or what Klaus has over you...
...but even if I have to go through you, I'm gonna kill him.
-Better back off, Damon. -Why? Because Klaus wants him alive?
This has nothing to do with Klaus. Trust me.
Don't want to. Don't have to. Not gonna.
Now give him to me, brother.
Run as fast as you can.
(GROWLS)
You're not gonna kill him.
(GRUNTING)
Why are you protecting him? Tell me.
(GRUNTING)
-Tell me. -Klaus will kill anyone who knows. Aah!
Then it has to be good. Spill it.
-Spill it! -Connor's tattoo is the key to her cure.
-Cure for what? -For her. For Elena.
Klaus told you there's a cure for vampirism?
STEFAN: Yeah.
If Connor dies, then we'll lose it forever.
I know it's crazy, Damon, but it's hope.
Do you understand me? It's her only hope.
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(CONNOR YELLING)
Stay the hell away from my brother.
Look at you.
So worried about your brother.
You're the biggest monster he'll ever meet.
(GRUNTS)
You missed.
(ELENA PANTING)
This isn't working.
It's not you, I just-- I can't get into hypnosis.
Bonnie, what do you think we've been doing for seven hours?
Wow, that's crazy.
Look, I'm good at this, okay?
Trust me, you're doing a lot better than you were this morning.
You know what? Proof.
I bet you can light this candle as easily as I can sign my name.
All you have to do is want to.
I'm sorry. I just-- I can't.
If you can't...
...it's only because you're afraid.
You're afraid of those spirits and what they might do to your Grams.
Well, let me tell you something, Bonnie Bennett...
...you're stronger than they are.
You have a power of your own...
...you haven't even approached yet, and you don't have to be afraid.
Of anyone.
Say it.
"I don't have to be afraid."
I don't have to be afraid.
Now, close your eyes...
...and mean it.
(SIGHS)
I don't have to be afraid.
Guess it wasn't good enough.
Oh, I don't know.
(CHUCKLES)
(SOBBING)
STEFAN: Elena.
I need to bury him. I killed him.
I should-- I should bury him.
Hey.
-Hey, come on-- -Don't!
I heard you talking to him.
Making some secret deal with Klaus?
You said you were gonna protect Jeremy...
...keep me from this.
You said that I could trust you, Stefan.
-Elena, it's complicated. -No, it's not complicated, Damon.
You wanna know why? Because he's dead now.
You told me to kill him.
So I did.
Oh. I-- I killed someone.
(SOBBING) I killed some--
TYLER: I'm so sorry.
I can't believe Dean's gone.
We could have saved him.
I apologize, am I intruding?
-Caroline, it's not like that. -I keep waiting for you to make up...
...some dumb story so I can call you a liar. Is that now?
-I'll let you two talk. -Thank you, how big of you.
-You have to understand-- -You don't tell me what I have to do.
I went through hell when I thought you died. I cried like an idiot.
And you've been keeping a secret from me...
...about falling for some werewolf in the Appalachians?
-I never fell for her. -Ugh. Please.
Caroline, she saved my life.
I almost died trying to break the sire bond.
Hayley was there, helped me get through.
-Nothing else happened. -Then why would Klaus think that?
Because I'd rather him think that than know the truth.
There are other hybrids that need to be set free.
Hayley and I can help them.
But if Klaus found out about what we're trying to do...
...he'd kill us all.
Hey, Jeremy.
Sorry we're so late, we had to take this crazy detour.
There was a gas leak.
Yeah, I heard about that.
And we had to stop by Tyler Lockwood's house because we had to see Caroline.
We talked to her for a bit. I was thinking maybe we could all go get some coffee.
But the Grill is closed. That's weird.
You know, it's okay, I, uh, need to get home anyway.
I'm feeling a little over it today.
I should probably get home too.
Oh.
All right then.
Hey, uh, April.
-Did you drop this? -Oh, that's not mine.
You sure? Here, let me see your wrist.
-Thanks, but-- -I like it.
It looks good on you. You should wear it.
Okay.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm just sick of all the secrets, you know?
Yeah, tell me about it.
Wha--?
What's wrong?
Nothing.
How is she?
Angry, full of guilt.
Hasn't said a word to me other than that she wants to be left alone.
Mm.
Is that my journal?
Had to go through six locks to get it.
Needed something to back up your insanity.
You figure out how to tell Klaus you lost a hunter and a hybrid?
He's on a plane, which means I get to live for another six hours.
I got your back when he comes to murder you.
Thanks.
-Thanks for not saying anything to Elena. -About what?
A cure that we don't have, can't find and probably doesn't exist? You're welcome.
She doesn't need to know that she killed her chance of being human again.
Alleged chance.
I believe him, Damon. You didn't hear Klaus' story.
-I believe every word he said. -Well, I'll remain a skeptic for now.
What's your next move?
He said there was a Brotherhood of the Five.
Which means there are other hunters.
I'm just gonna keep looking until I find one.
Sure, Stefan, since you asked...
...I'd be happy to go on a suicide mission with you...
...for a potentially non-existent cure. No problem.
(CHUCKLES)
Yet, a couple hours ago you were ready to rip my heart out.
Because you were being a pain in the ass.
Answer me one thing.
Why do you wanna cure her?
What kind of question is that?
Legitimate one. You wanna cure her because she's a vampire...
...and she's not cut out to be, or you can't love her if she is one?
I'll always love her.
But she's not supposed to be this person.
I don't want her to be.
If I'm gonna ride this fairy tale to its conclusion...
-...I wanna be clear about one thing. -What's that?
I'm fine with her either way, brother.
So if I do this, I'm doing it for you.
(WATER TRICKLING)
ELENA: Dear diary...
...today I did the thing I was most afraid of.
I lost control.
I killed someone.
I used to think the worst feeling in the world...
...was losing someone you loved, but I was wrong.
The worst feeling is the moment that you realize you've lost yourself.
(GASPS) t feeling is the moment that you realize you've lost yourself.