STEFAN: Mystic Falls. I was born here.
This is my home.
DAMON: And mine.
ELENA: And mine.
STEFAN: For centuries,
supernatural creatures have lived among us.
ELENA: There are vampires, werewolves, doppelgängers.
BONNIE: Witches. KLAUS: And even hybrids.
ELENA: Now I'm one of them, a vampire.
Everything I used to feel has changed.
Your feelings for him have been magnified.
I can't do this, Elena. Not anymore.
I know.
STEFAN: Her brother is the key to finding the cure.
CONNOR: I call this a Hunter's Mark.
The more I kill, the more it grows. It's invisible to anyone but a hunter.
STEFAN: And I will stop at nothing... HAYLEY: Aah!
STEFAN: ...to make her human again.
CAROLINE: What do you mean you're not coming?
I don't need to remind you that your Miss Mystic Falls attendance record sucks.
You're a founding family member. By definition you have to be here.
Elena and I broke up.
By definition, I don't need to be anywhere.
Did that sound as depressing to you as it did to me?
Oh, I'm not depressed.
I just want to rip into someone's artery and feed until I can't breathe anymore.
CAROLINE: Well, you can't.
As your sober sponsor, I'm not going to let that happen.
Try and sublimate.
She said she has feelings for Damon.
What?
She can't have feelings for Damon. He's Damon and you're you.
And I'm revolted.
(CAROLINE SIGHS)
I'm gonna talk to her. I'm gonna shake sense...
...into her clearly diseased brain.
Well, I don't know what good that will do.
Elena's right. Being a vampire has changed her.
All the more reason you need to cure her.
Look, I gotta go. Be careful.
Remember, there's sublimating and then there's insanity.
I'll be fine. Bye.
In what world do the words, "tell no one" mean your brother...
...and every teenage sycophant in town?
Ugh. Secret's safe. No one who knows about the cure will endanger us.
You know I wanna find it more than anyone.
Then you find some vampires for Jeremy to kill...
...before I'm tempted to offer you up as a victim.
And try to keep this one to yourself, would you?
DAMON: Where have you been?
Oh, you know, out.
DAMON: Where you going? STEFAN: Out.
Okay, I see shady Stefan's back.
Don't tell me you're still working with Klaus.
You obviously haven't heard. Elena and I broke up.
Oh.
Got it. Uh, well, I'll be quick then.
If we wanna find the cure, we have to find a vampire hunter...
...who can kill enough vampires to reveal the map on the Hunter's Mark.
Now, unless we want Jeremy to go all Connor 2.0...
...I suggest we find a different hunter.
Okay. And?
I was gonna ask Professor Shane, but it turns out he's shadier than you.
Matt Donovan connected him and the pastor through phone records.
The two were very chatty the day the pastor blew up the Council.
Ah. So you're gonna confront Shane, threaten him, possibly kill him.
Unless he tells me what he's up to.
What do you say? Shall we tag-team this?
No. I'd say you're on your own.
Or we could just blow it off, man.
Go get drunk, brother-bond over some Tri Delts.
If you, you know, want some quality time.
(CHUCKLES)
Let's not pretend like this isn't the best day of your life.
(DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES)
CAROLINE: Look, I'm your best friend, and I would never pick sides...
...but are you sure that this is what you want?
Because Stefan is your soulmate.
Sorry. Picking sides.
It's not like I don't love Stefan anymore,
but I can't deny that ever since I turned...
...my feelings for Damon have become more intense.
Yeah, I know. Stefan filled me in on all the gory Damon details.
He did?
-Is he okay? -No, he's heartbroken.
What was I supposed to do, lie to him?
No. You weren't supposed to let Damon weasel into...
-...your confused, newbie-vampire heart. ELENA: Well, he did.
And that's exactly what I am, confused.
I need to figure out what these feelings actually mean.
SHANE: Excuse me.
I'm a little lost. I'm here to interview contestants.
-You're Professor Shane. SHANE: That's right.
Professor by day, pageant judge by other day.
In spite of being absurdly unqualified, I'm awarding a scholarship?
-Uh, inside by the parlor. -Right in here?
I'll just follow the scent of hairspray and world domination.
(CAROLINE CHUCKLES)
He's the one who told Damon how to break the Hunter's Curse.
Also the one that has Bonnie so obsessed with practicing magic...
...that she bailed on pageant prep.
And now he's judging Miss Mystic Falls?
Jack of all trades or kind of creepy?
MATT: So your sister's making me be her date.
Will I have to do that weird dance thing?
I'm pretty sure it's just for contestants.
I heard that you're April's escort. How'd that happen?
Yeah. She needed a date and apparently you were taken.
(CHUCKLES)
(GRUNTS)
Okay. Let's take these in, we'll come back for the kegs.
Wait. You wanna see something cool?
Ah.
How did you just do that?
Ever since I was awoken as a hunter, I've had all this energy.
Like, all the time.
Jer, you need to talk to someone about this.
I mean, look what happened to Connor.
A by-product of this energy is you're gonna wanna kill vampires.
And you happen to live with one.
Hey, I would never hurt my sister.
I'll be fine.
WOMAN (OVER PA): Dr. Sherman, 6259. Dr. Sherman, 6259.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING OVER RADIO)
-Can I help you? -Time for a little break.
He'll be safe with me.
Who are you?
Why is there a cop outside?
I'm a convicted murderer.
STEFAN: You guilty? MAN: Of course I am.
-Any regrets? -Only that I got caught.
(GRUNTING)
Stop. Stop. Those flowers go in the back...
...as indicated by the floral chart that you guys had time to memorize.
Yeah. Thank you.
Now, how did I know I'd find you at the helm of this ship?
Go away. I'm busy.
I was wondering what time I should pick you up tomorrow.
How about a quarter to never?
I was promised a date in return for one of my hybrids.
Yes, like to a movie, where we don't have to talk...
...and I can put three seats between us.
Surely, the reigning Miss Mystic Falls won't be hosting the party alone?
And I assume you're not taking Tyler.
Not after his indiscretions with his lady werewolf friend.
Fine. If you insist on coming, meet me here, 2 p.m.
Black tie optional.
I have a dress, so don't even think of getting me so much as a corsage.
You understand?
I'll see you tomorrow, Caroline.
(SCREAMING)
HAYLEY: Scream. Let it out.
We're on an abandoned farm. No one can hear you for miles.
Easy for you to say, wolf girl. You never turned 20 times in a row.
No, but I watched a bunch of your hybrid friends go through it.
(GRUNTS)
Why's it have to be like this?
Why break every bone over and over?
That's what the sire bond is. You're grateful to Klaus...
...because he released you from the pain of having to turn every full moon.
So you're gonna keep turning until it doesn't hurt...
...and you have nothing to be grateful for.
What's in all this for you?
I don't hear bones cracking.
(YELLS)
Caroline bought us another day.
Klaus wants to go with her to Miss Mystic Falls tomorrow.
So does that mean we're going?
Watching Klaus fawn over Caroline at some lame-ass pageant? No, thanks.
Come on.
(BONES CRACKLING AND KIM SCREAMING)
We hide what's going on here by pretending that I was the one that broke you two up.
Besides, isn't it at your house?
(KIM SCREAMING)
Guys, like this isn't torture enough?
Can you take it outside?
(GRUNTING)
Fine. We'll go.
Wear a dress.
(KIM GROANING)
-You need a hand? -Yeah. Please.
This clasp is tricky.
Hey, I, uh, picked up your clothes from the dry cleaners.
They should be hanging on your door.
I really wish you'd stop acting like you were still my sister.
(GASPS)
How do you wake with a knife in your hand and not remember how it got there?
It's that Hunter's Mark, Jer. It's messing with you.
What if I'm turning into Alaric?
I probably died too many times with this ring on my finger...
...and I'm developing an alter ego like he did.
"Newly awakened hunters may not be fully conscious of their actions.
Their subconscious pushes through until the urge becomes a basic instinct."
You're not having a psychotic break, Jer.
You either tell Elena or I will.
Fine.
I'll tell her when I see her.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
MATT: All right, we should probably get going. Need a ride?
Uh, no. You go ahead. I'll meet you there.
All right.
ELENA & CAROLINE: Blue.
Really? The blue seems a little safe.
Safe is good when it comes to the judges.
She's right. Gracie Lockwood had a 3-foot slit...
...and practically got laughed off the court.
(ALL CHUCKLE)
She got my vote.
Get out, lurker.
Ouch.
-Where's Professor Shane? -Check the judges' table.
Red one. Definitely.
We've already agreed that the red one's a little too showy.
It's a pageant. It's the whole point.
Did you win Miss Mystic last year?
No, I don't think you did.
Neither did Elena and she wore blue.
Nobody cares what you think.
-I care. -See?
April cares. Red, right, Elena?
The red is pretty.
And my work here is done.
Uh, what happened to 30 seconds ago when you hated the red one?
What happened to "safe is good"?
Whichever one you wanna wear, April.
What just happened?
Damon.
Still here.
We need to talk.
Stefan told me about the breakup.
I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.
What did he say?
DAMON: Oh, you know Stefan.
The guy just went on and on about it, wouldn't shut up.
So he didn't tell you why?
Nope. But I'm sure it has something to do...
...with you acting weird. So why don't you tell me?
You.
Damon Salvatore.
Looks like we're traveling the same circuit.
Professor Shane.
Just the guy I wanted to see.
(BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
DAMON: I'm in search of another hunter.
SHANE: Hunter? DAMON: Mm-hm.
SHANE: With a capital H? Why?
Same reason anyone needs a hunter.
Loneliness, drinking buddy, fourth for golf.
You said you already had a potential.
I did, but he ended up being a potential problem, so....
There's nothing I can do to help you.
Hmm. Well, why don't you help me with this?
Why are you here?
What's in your little lesson plan there, professor?
You think too highly of me, Damon.
-I'm gonna go find the other judges. -No pity votes for April Young, okay?
Just because her dad blew up a dozen people...
...it doesn't mean she should get a tiara.
But you knew him, didn't you?
Because I hear you two racked up a pretty impressive phone bill.
If you want to know something about me, Damon, just ask.
Okay.
How did you convince the pastor to kill all those people?
Did you just accuse me of mass murder in the middle of a high school pageant?
Welcome to this season's Miss Mystic Falls.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
We are so excited to showcase...
...our most outstanding community leaders in the making.
What am I doing here?
Getting the chance to make your sister human again.
-You interested? -You have no idea.
Actually, I do.
(MAN WHIMPERING)
Who is that?
STEFAN: It doesn't really matter.
All that matters is that you're a vampire hunter...
...and he's a vampire.
Well, almost.
(JEREMY YELLS)
-Was this all so I could stake him? -You think I wanna do this?
Look at me. I hate this. I don't wanna do this.
Your sister isn't supposed to be a vampire.
We need to help her.
He's a murderer and he will gladly kill again.
So do it, Jeremy. Kill him.
(MAN YELLING AND GRUNTING)
Stefan, what are you doing? What the hell is wrong with you?
Do it, Jeremy, or I will rip the chains off for real.
Do it!
All right, enough.
He's dead.
(BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
Hey, why am I bussing your tables?
I said no empty glasses.
Would you guys pick up the tempo? This is a pageant, not a funeral.
And how am I doing?
You're...
...perfect. Heh.
Which is so beyond annoying, I can't even look at you.
They didn't waste any time, did they?
Let's just get today over with.
I can't believe that I won.
I just wanna thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I'm a raging bitch.
You don't wanna do that. Those girls will cut you.
They have nails.
I have claws.
Hi, everyone, I'm Caroline Forbes.
As the reigning Miss Mystic Falls...
...it is my honor to introduce this year's Miss Mystic Court.
We begin the procession with Valerie Fell, accompanied by Dylan Clark.
Next we have Amber Wolverton, accompanied by Hector Linsey.
-You seen Jeremy? -He's probably with the escorts.
Caroline told me to wrangle the escorts. He's not here.
-Did he tell you about his nightmares? -What nightmares?
The ones where he kills you.
Katherine Wilson, accompanied by Eric Hanson.
I'll find him...
...but April's about to get abandoned.
I got this.
And, finally, we have a last-minute entry, April Young...
...accompanied by Jeremy Gilbert.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
Jeremy's running late.
I guess you'll do.
You lead.
What's with the last-minute escort change? Where is Jeremy?
I'm calling him right now. He's not picking up.
Do the math. Emo teen, open bar. It's fine.
Jeremy's been having nightmares about killing vampires...
...and he's been hiding it from me.
Relax. I'm sure he's fine.
I don't know. I have a bad feeling.
If I'm not worried, you shouldn't be worried.
Let it go.
I'll go look for him.
Okay.
Okay, you go home, I'm gonna start asking around here.
Maybe Damon's right. He grabbed a bottle from the bar...
-...and snuck off to the woods. -No, Damon's never right.
Damon is sneaky and manipulative and rude...
...but he's never right. How can you not see that?
I don't know, but why do I think that you won't hesitate to tell me?
Fine. Friend-tervention.
I think your so-called feelings for Damon...
...are starting to cloud your judgment. I don't like it.
And the thought of you two together makes me wanna barf.
Easy, love. You're making a scene.
Wow. Caroline, thank you for making this very difficult time so much easier.
How did I become the bad guy?
Let's get you a drink.
I'll tell you all about being the bad guy.
Please, don't tell me that you've roped Jeremy into a world of crazy.
STEFAN: I had no choice.
-Elena needs a cure. DAMON: Oh, right.
You can turn her back into the girl who's still in love with you.
I get why you wouldn't wanna believe it, but she isn't herself anymore.
DAMON: Of course, you would think that.
Leave it alone, Stefan.
How far did the mark grow?
Show me on this drawing.
Sorry, Stefan, but I can't trust you.
-How far is it, Jeremy? -I said I can't.
Answer me, or I will make you answer me.
I'm not telling you anything.
What does the mark look like?
(STEFAN GRUNTS)
Guess I can't be compelled anymore.
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
CAROLINE: It's just, as her best friend, it's my duty to warn her...
...when she's making a giant mistake, right?
And now she's taking Damon's side on everything.
So being a vampire's changed her.
But being a vampire only amplifies who you already are...
...doesn't turn you into a completely different person.
It's very peculiar.
What's that look for?
It'll all make sense eventually.
Whatever. Just hurry up and find the cure.
I'm working on it.
Would you ever take it?
Why would I want to cure myself of being the most powerful creature on the planet?
Hmm?
So there's not one single moment in your whole life...
...that you wanted to be human?
(CORK POPS)
How about you?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
KLAUS: Life used to be a lot easier.
Don't you miss the days of being...
...chair of the Mystic Falls Beautification Committee...
...director of the Policeman's Yearly Raffle?
Is that my Miss Mystic application?
"When I'm chosen, I intend to redefine excellence."
Now, I'm really enjoying your use of "when" here. It's very confident.
"And, above all, I promise to aspire, inspire, and perspire."
Obviously we found a shortage of words ending in "spire."
-Ha, ha. -Yeah, it's very funny. It's hilarious.
Just--
(LAUGHS)
(KLAUS & CAROLINE LAUGHING)
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
DAMON: Oh, hey.
-How do those two know each other? -They don't. Paranoid much?
The Council just got burnt to a crisp,
some mysterious hunter blew through town...
...and this guy just happens to know everything about everything.
Yes, paranoid.
Hey. Where have you been?
Hey. Sorry, I, uh.... I got stuck at work.
If you were too chicken to do the dance thingy, you should've just told me.
No, no. I knew the dance. I watched some lesson online like 100 times.
You did?
Hey, what's that Shane guy doing here?
He's a judge. I talked to him about my dad.
I mean, he said that he never seemed depressed or suicidal or anything, so....
Your dad?
APRIL: Yeah, um, I figured I'd explore every possibility...
...even the bleak ones.
What are you looking at?
Your dad was doing the right thing for this town.
The whole Council was. They died heroes.
Oh. You again.
(CHUCKLES)
I must be the least intimidating mass murderer ever.
You never gave me a name, and it's kind of urgent.
Listen, there is no other name.
At any given moment, there are five hunters in existence.
Most of them have no idea who they are or what their purpose is.
That means finding more than one in a lifetime is next to impossible.
(CHUCKLES)
-Subtle. -Like you didn't already know.
Well....
You have five seconds to give me another name or you die.
Since it's unwise for a vampire to seek out a hunter,
you're interested in the mark.
That's probably because of where it leads.
Here's the thing. Even if you complete the mark and get the map...
...the thing you're looking for is sealed with a spell...
...that only a certain kind of witch can perform.
-What kind of witch? -Come on, Damon.
(SHANE GRUNTS)
I love pressure points, heh.
What kind of witch?
You're a big boy. You can figure this out.
A Bennett witch.
Aren't too many of those lying around, as I'm sure you know.
None of this matters until Bonnie's in touch with her magic.
Between the two of us, who do you think she trusts to help her get there?
Five seconds are up.
Unless you just realized you need me alive.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a scholarship to award.
And now the moment you've been waiting for.
Caroline, would you do the honors?
This year's Miss Mystic Falls is:
April Young.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
WOMAN: Congratulations.
Jeremy.
Hey, where have you been?
What are you doing with that?
Put it down.
Connor was right.
All I can think about is killing vampires.
You're nothing like Connor.
I want to believe that.
And I know I don't want to hurt you...
...but everything inside of me
is telling me to drive this stake through your heart.
Why would you say that?
It's me, Jeremy.
And you're a vampire.
Yeah, but I'm also your sister.
Jer....
I would never do anything to hurt you.
No.
Get it away from me.
(GRUNTS)
Jer? Jer, hey.
Jer, wake up. Jer, please, wake up.
MATT: Jeremy! -Get out of here, Matt.
You don't wanna do this, okay? That's your sister.
-It's that stupid mark on your arm. -Shut up!
Jeremy, look at me. I'm human and I am telling you not to hurt her.
STEFAN: Get him out of here, Matt!
MATT: Come on, let's get out of here.
Let me do it, let me do it, let me do it.
(GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
Your mom parties harder than you do.
Does she have the gene?
Dad.
-What about your parents? -Never met them.
My adoptive parents found out about my wolf gene when I did.
The night that I turned and tore apart their living room.
They promptly kicked me out.
You never told me how it triggered.
You mean who I killed?
Boating accident.
We were drunk. I thought I wasn't.
So, what's with you chatting up all these old-timers? Huh?
My mom, that professor guy.
That professor guy is, like, 30.
And he's hot and smart.
(HAYLEY CHUCKLES)
-Do you know him or something? -No, I just met him. Why?
No reason.
KLAUS: I never answered your question...
...if I'd ever thought about being human.
Once I was on a trek in the Andes...
...and a hummingbird flew up to me.
It just hovered there staring at me.
Its tiny heart was pattering like a machine gun.
And I thought, what a thing, you know...
...to have to work that hard every day just to stay alive.
To be constantly on the verge of death.
And how satisfying every day must be that it survived.
And that was the only time I thought about being human.
HAYLEY: What's he saying?
A bunch of B.S. about being human.
The sooner we get rid of this guy, the better.
-Elena, wait. -I have to find Jeremy.
-This shouldn't be happening to him. -Wait, it's my fault.
What are you talking about?
I think that when a hunter kills a vampire...
...the urge to keep killing gets stronger.
Tell me that Jeremy hasn't been with you this entire time.
Tell me you haven't been making him kill vampires.
We need the map to get the cure.
If getting my humanity back means stripping Jeremy of his...
-...I don't want the cure. -He's the only way to fix all this.
You mean me.
The only way to fix me.
You don't have to love me like this.
This is who I am now.
The old Elena died when she went off that bridge.
Let her go.
MATT: What are you doing?
I can't keep living here if I want to kill my sister.
Elena knows that.
That's why she moved out and asked me to move in.
What?
Look, I'm not one of them, Jer.
I'll keep an eye on you...
...and we can keep this hunter business in check.
Where is Elena gonna go?
I can't stay at home anymore.
Pick a room.
I'll crash somewhere else.
Tell me it's over, Ty.
I really don't think I can do this anymore.
It's over.
Nice work. We're one step closer to ending this.
We got another one.
SHANE: Good.
We're almost ready.
I want to leave Tyler out of this when it all goes down.
We'll talk when you've broken the last one.
Thanks.
I was being polite. I thought you hated whiskey.
My brother wants to kill me.
Welcome to the club.
Jeremy can't live with me.
Stefan wants to fix me...
...and Caroline flat-out admitted that she doesn't like me this way.
I think it's safe to say that I'm not so great at this vampire thing.
You wanna know what I think?
I don't think I've ever seen you more alive.
That dance that they did today....
It kind of reminded me of--
When we danced together?
I wanted to dance with you today.
Ahem. Elena's right. I just-- Heh. I need to let go.
No, you're right, Stefan. It's not pretty and it's not easy...
...but you can't give up on her.
Caroline, she looked me in the eye and she told me to move on.
She's lost. Okay, you and her? Epic.
Her and Damon? Ugh, God.
There's something wrong with her.
Promise me you won't stop looking for the cure.
Klaus won't let me, even if I wanted to.
-What does he care? He doesn't want it. -He wants to keep Elena human...
...so that he can make more hybrids.
He's gonna need them. Tyler has almost got all of them unsired.
Oh, my God.
I was trying to understand why Klaus was so intrigued by Damon and Elena.
He said I'd figure it out. This is what he was talking about.
-What are you talking about? -Think.
Every time Elena's had a problem, Damon's been the magic solution.
Today, Elena was worried about Jeremy. Who swoops in and tells her to relax?
Damon. And she listens.
When Elena started feeding...
...who said that she could only drink blood straight from the vein?
Damon.
-When she drank from animals? -Couldn't keep it down.
-And blood bags? -Same thing.
Name one vampire...
...in the history of vampires who couldn't drink blood from a blood bag?
Damon said she couldn't, so she couldn't.
Damon likes the red dress, Elena likes the red dress.
Damon says kill Connor, she kills Connor.
What if it's possible?
Damon's blood made her a vampire, right?
It's rare, but it happens.
What if this is one of those times?
What if this is really happening?
Elena's sired to Damon. appening?