PREVIOUSLY ON "THE VAMPIRE DIARIES"...
DAMON, VOICE-OVER: SHE HAS ELENA.
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE IS.
OSCAR'S BEEN GONE DAYS RUNNING YOUR ERRANDS.
-WHILE WE'RE STUCK HERE. -STARVING OURSELVES,
PRETENDING LIKE WE'RE NOT
THE STRONGEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF LILY'S CAVALRY.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.
YOU WILL NOT LAY A HAND
ON ANOTHER MEMBER OF MY FAMILY.
DAMON: GIVE ME ELENA, YOU'LL GET YOUR SON BACK.
MED TECH: ONCE YOU BURY THE BODY,
THE GRIEVING PROCESS BEGINS.
WELL, I'M NOT PLANNING ON BURYING HER.
THE PHOENIX STONE BRINGS PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD.
-TELL ME YOU'LL TRY. -I'LL TRY.
WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH YOU AND STEFAN?
I WAS THE FIRST LOVE OF STEFAN'S LIFE.
YOU PUT THAT SPELL ON ME SO STEFAN COULDN'T TOUCH ME.
IT'S LIKE YOUR SKIN IS VERVAIN.
STEFAN, MEET JULIAN.
JULIAN WAS THE MAN YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL FOR.
DOES STEFAN SALVATORE KNOW THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT
WITH HIS CHILD?
SO HAVE YOU FOUND JULIAN YET?
I FOUND HIM MONTHS AGO.
JULIAN IS THE DEVIL.
I CAN'T LET LILY BRING HIM BACK.
[SOLDER SIZZLING]
[SIZZLING]
OH, DAMN IT!
IS IT FIXED YET?
NOT YET, SWEETHEART,
AND IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME.
BOTH: NO!
YES, IT IS. YOU WANT TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH?
BOTH: NO! HA HA HA!
YEAH? WELL, TOO BAD.
SURGERY WILL HAVE TO RESUME TOMORROW.
ALL RIGHT, JOSIE. HELP YOUR SISTER FIND
HER PJs, OK?
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
GIRLS?
[COCKS GUN]
DAMON.
WELL, AREN'T YOU ADORABLE?
HEH. YOU GIRLS, TOO.
STAY BEHIND DADDY.
WHY SO GLOOMY?
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANTED.
THE FACT THAT YOU'RE HERE MEANS SOMEBODY DIED.
NO, NOT YET,
BUT IF YOU DON'T DO EXACTLY AS I SAY,
THAT COULD CHANGE REAL FAST.
SO...
YOU GONNA INVITE ME IN?
JEEZ.
YOU'RE HERE AT 5 A.M.
I'M GONNA NEED THE PLACE TO MYSELF TODAY..
OH, COME ON, MAN.
DON'T MAKE ME AN ACCOMPLICE TO WHATEVER WEIRD STUFF
YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR WIFE'S DEAD BODY.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WEIRD IT'S GONNA GET.
[RUFFLING PAPER]
IS THIS ENOUGH TO BUY SOME PRIVACY?
I'M GONNA THROW IN A FREE REALITY CHECK.
PRESERVED BODIES STILL HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE,
AND THIS IS HER LAST DAY.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
MOTHER, TELL ME YOU HAVE ELENA.
LILY: LET ME SPEAK TO OSCAR.
NO CAN DO. I'M ABOUT TO WAKE HIM UP
FROM HIS LITTLE VERVAIN NAP.
YOU DO REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU GET HER BACK
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY GETTING HER BACK, RIGHT?
SHE'S STILL IN A BOX.
DO YOU THINK I NEED TO BE REMINDED OF THAT?
AND YET YOU'RE LEVERAGING A MEMBER
OF MY FAMILY JUST TO GET HER BODY CLOSER TO YOU.
HOW SELFISH CAN YOU BE?
SPARE THE LECTURE, MOMMY.
DAMON, IF YOU HAVE HARMED OSCAR IN ANY WAY...
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. SAY GOOD-BYE TO ELENA.
IT'S NOT MY FIRST HOSTAGE SWAP.
OSCAR.
OSCAR?
I CAN SMELL THE BLOOD ON YOU, BUDDY.
HUH?
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
THE VACCINES: ♪ OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD ♪
♪ OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD ♪
♪ THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME UP FOR BREAKFAST ♪
♪ YOU THINK YOU LOOK GOOD IN WHATEVER ♪
♪ THEY SUGARCOAT YOU WITH
CAROLINE: AHEM.
I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU.
WELL, I WOULD LOSE MORE SLEEP
IF YOU JUST SNUCK OUT WITHOUT SAYING HI.
HI!
OH, I MISSED THIS.
AM I GONNA CATCH FIRE?
NO! I JUST CAN'T TOUCH VAMPIRES.
VALERIE BASICALLY TURNED MY SKIN INTO VERVAIN.
I'LL WORK ON UNRAVELING THE SPELL WHEN I CAN.
STOP. WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON.
LET'S JUST GO SHOPPING FOR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES,
AND WE CAN WORRY ABOUT MAGIC LATER.
WELL, I'M KIND OF ALREADY WORRYING ABOUT MAGIC TODAY.
ALARIC THINKS WE CAN REUNITE JO'S SPIRIT
WITH HER BODY BY USING SOME SKETCHY
NATIVE AMERICAN RESURRECTION STONE.
MY JOB IS TO CRUSH HIS DREAMS
IN THE MOST GENTLE WAY POSSIBLE.
WOW.
OK. YOU DON'T EVEN THINK IT WILL WORK?
I DON'T THINK IT SHOULD.
THE OTHER SIDE IS GONE.
THERE'S NO MORE GEMINI PRISON WORLD,
WHICH MEANS THAT JO'S SPIRIT IS
PROBABLY AT PEACE.
OUR LIVES ARE WEIRD.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
HOW THE HELL DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BLAMING THIS ON ME.
I'M NOT THE ONE THAT UNSCREWED HIS HEART.
NO. YOU'RE JUST THE ONE WHO CHASED HIM DOWN,
KIDNAPPED HIM, AND ARE STILL
TECHNICALLY HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE.
TO GET ELENA BACK.
AND HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?
BECAUSE FROM WHERE I'M STANDING,
SHE'S IN MORE DANGER THAN EVER
BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET HER REST.
YOU SPEND ONE DAY WITH MOMMY DEAREST,
AND NOW YOU'RE ON HER SIDE?
I DON'T HAVE TO BE ON HER SIDE
TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
YOU CAN'T BE WITH ELENA,
SO YOU'RE MAKING ALL THESE BAD DECISIONS
ABOUT ELENA.
WE NEED TO GET RID OF THIS BODY.
NO, NO, NO. YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THIS BODY.
UGH.
BREAKKIE. WHAT ARE WE HAVING?
MUSHROOM OMELETTES.
HEY! THEY'RE FOR OSCAR, NOT YOU.
HE'S COMING HOME TODAY.
I'M IMPRESSED, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING
HOW LATE YOU GOT HOME LAST NIGHT.
WHERE'S OSCAR?
I DON'T KNOW. DAMON NEVER SHOWED UP.
I SUPPOSE I'VE TAKEN THE NOTION
OF TRUST FOR GRANTED LATELY.
LORENZO, WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY
IF I HAD A MOMENT ALONE WITH VALERIE.
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
JUST SOME FAMILY BUSINESS.
I SPENT YESTERDAY WITH STEFAN,
LEARNED ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE TRYST
IN 1863.
WE WERE CHILDREN. IT WAS...
IT WAS PUPPY LOVE.
IT MEANT NOTHING.
HMM. RIGHT.
THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU HELD ONTO HIS JOURNAL ALL THESE YEARS.
YOU WERE FRAGILE AT THE TIME.
I DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET YOU.
YOU TOLD HIM YOU WERE COMING BACK FOR HIM,
AND HE BELIEVED YOU.
WHY PUT HIM THROUGH THAT?
I WAS A FOOLISH HUMAN BACK THEN.
I'M SORRY.
I WILL ONLY SAY THIS ONCE.
IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO TELL ME,
ANYTHING AT ALL,
NOW IS THE TIME.
I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.
I SHOULD GO LOOK FOR OSCAR.
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
NORA: GOD, IT FEELS GOOD TO COME OUT OF THAT DESERTED TOWN
AND BE AROUND LIVING, BREATHING PEOPLE WE CAN EAT.
MYSTIC FALLS IS THE PRISON WORLD ALL OVER AGAIN.
WE'RE ON A MISSION, NORA,
NOT A VACATION.
DAMON: ALL RIGHT.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
MARY LOUISE: DAMON? I KNOW YOU'RE HERE.
OPEN UP.
DAMON, OPEN THE--
HELLO.
OH. HELLO.
MARY LOUISE: UNIVERSITY HOUSING.
HOW LOVELY.
HOW SAD.
NOT AS SAD AS BEING EXILED HERE
BY YOUR OWN MOTHER.
LILY MUST HAVE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS
FOR THE HOSTAGE EXCHANGE.
WHERE'S OSCAR?
YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
YOU REEK OF BLOOD.
WELL, I'VE BEEN-- I'VE BEEN BINGING.
STEFAN: AND I'VE BEEN JUDGING.
YEAH.
NOT GONNA FIND HIM IN THERE.
OHH.
LOOK. I GET IT. OK. YOU GOT ME.
OSCAR TURNED THE TABLES,
AND HE KNOCKED ME OUT,
AND HE TOOK OFF.
I LOST MY ONE AND ONLY BARGAINING CHIP.
THEN WHY ISN'T OSCAR ANSWERING HIS PHONE?
MAYBE THE GUY DOESN'T WANT TO BE FOUND.
WHY DON'T I BELIEVE YOU?
MARY LOUISE: WELL, THIS IS POINTLESS.
COME, NORA.
I'LL THROW THAT AWAY FOR YOU.
SCREW IT. LET'S JUST GET THIS GUY TO THE FURNACE.
UH, WRONG DOOR, DARLING.
HMM.
OK.
"A MESSAGE FROM MISS NORA HILDEGARD,
"DICTATED BUT NOT READ.
"FOR EVERY HOUR THAT OSCAR ISN'T RETURNED,
"A WHITMORE STUDENT WILL DIE,
STARTING NOW."
[GAGGING]
NO.
MAN: WITH DOZENS OF DISAPPEARANCES
AND A HISTORY OF ANIMAL ATTACKS,
MYSTIC FALLS WAS THE SUBJECT OF SUPERNATURAL SPECULATION
EVEN BEFORE THE QUOTE UNQUOTE "MINING FIRE EVACUATION."
[SIREN]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL, OFFICER.
BESIDES VIOLATING A TOWN-WIDE QUARANTINE
AND PUTTING THESE PEOPLE'S LIVES AT RISK
TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK?
PACK IT UP AND GET OUT OF HERE.
WE BOTH KNOW THERE'S NO REAL DANGER HERE.
IT'S JUST AN EMPTY GHOST TOWN.
ENZO: REALLY?
YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NOISES IN THE OLD BOARDING HOUSE?
THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE HAUNTING THE CLOCK TOWER?
TELL YOUR GHOSTBUSTERS TO CHARGE UP THEIR PROTON PACKS.
THEY'VE HIT THE PROVERBIAL JACKPOT.
GET OUT OF HERE UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR LICENSE SUSPENDED.
NOW.
TOUR GUIDE: COME ON. LET'S GO.
IF YOU TOUCH ANY OF THESE PEOPLE,
I WILL SHOOT YOU RIGHT HERE.
DON'T WASTE THE AMMUNITION, MATE.
WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY,
AND I AM ONE OF YOUR LAST TAXPAYERS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, ENZO?
OH, GOD. JUST A GOOD NIGHT'S REST,
WHICH IS PROVING DIFFICULT LATELY
WITH ALL THE LATE NIGHT SNEAKING
IN AND OUT OF THE SALVATORE HOUSE.
VAMP HEARING'S BAD ENOUGH,
BUT ONCE THE HERETICS START CREEPING,
THAT'S WHEN I REALLY LOSE SLEEP.
THERE'S AN ABANDONED MUSIC SHOP DOWN THE WAY.
I'LL LET YOU STEAL A TINY FIDDLE.
OR YOU COULD GRANT ME ACCESS
TO THE TOWN SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS.
HAVE A HERETIC TO TRACK.
-HI. -HI.
BROUGHT YOU COFFEE.
OH, AND HE KEEPS GETTING BETTER.
SORRY!
AH. IT'S OK. NO CONTACT.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I TAKE IT YOUR CHARM DIDN'T WORK
ON GETTING VALERIE TO UNDO THE SPELL.
UH, I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HER YET.
OH.
SO YOU'RE AVOIDING?
NO. THERE'S NOTHING TO AVOID.
WELL, STEFAN, SHE WAS YOUR FIRST LOVE,
AND THEN SHE JUST LEFT YOU HANGING.
YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT CURIOUS WHY?
SHE HASN'T CONTACTED ME IN THE 4 MONTHS SHE'S BEEN BACK,
SO I'M ASSUMING SHE'S AS OVER IT AS I AM.
YEAH, BUT THAT IS QUITE AN ASSUMPTION
CONSIDERING THAT SHE'S THE REASON WHY
I LITERALLY CAN'T TOUCH YOU.
UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S THE HERETIC
THAT I AM THE LEAST CONCERNED ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
OH, GOD. WHO NOW?
LET'S JUST SAY THAT IT INVOLVES
TWO BORED MEAN GIRLS ON A CAMPUS FULL OF EASY TARGETS,
BUT FORTUNATELY, I HAVE COME UP
WITH A GENIUS PLAN TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED
WHILE DAMON SORTS OUT HIS OSCAR PROBLEM.
-THE DANCE. -MM-HMM.
FULL OF POTENTIAL VICTIMS.
AND DISTRACTIONS ALL IN ONE PLACE.
EASY TO BABY-SIT.
I THINK THE HARDEST PART WILL BE
FEIGNING ENTHUSIASM.
YEAH. THEY'LL NEVER FALL FOR IT.
UNLESS THEY THINK IT'S THEIR IDEA.
[PARQUET COURTS' "THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN'" PLAYING]
NORA: I'M GETTING HUNGRY.
IS IT DEATH O'CLOCK YET?
WE STILL HAVE 13 MINUTES.
WHAT'S THIS?
OH, NOTHING. IT'S JUST SOME
SILLY HEAVEN AND HELL BALL.
STEFAN INVITED ME, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
THESE DAYS, HALLOWEEN JUST SEEMS LIKE AN EXCUSE
TO GET DRUNK AND SHOW SKIN.
SORRY. NO HERETICS ALLOWED.
HALLOWEEN'S ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO DRESS UP AS PSYCHOPATHS.
AS IF WE'D WANT TO DRINK CHEAP BEER OUT OF PLASTIC
AND THEN BRAG ABOUT IT ALL OVER THE INTERNET.
AS IF YOU'D EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
WE'RE GOING.
TO A COLLEGE PARTY?
OH, OK.
OK. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
NOTHING. NO. YOU TWO WILL FIT IN JUST FINE.
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL
SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT.
DID I SAY YOU COULD LEAVE?
♪ LYIN' WHEN YOU OUGHT TO BE TRUTHIN' ♪
♪ AND YOU KEEP LOSIN'...
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
♪ WHEN YOU OUGHT TO NOT BET ♪
♪ YEAH, AND YOU KEEP SAMIN'... ♪
I SEE YOU FOUND A DRESS FROM MY CLOSET.
HAVEN'T BEEN TO A PARTY SINCE NEW YEAR'S 1902.
BE HONEST.
WILL I MAKE A PROPER MODERN DEVIL?
SHOULDN'T BE TOO MUCH OF A STRETCH. HEH.
UNLIKE THE HIPS OF THAT DRESS.
♪ GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU
WOULD YOU PREFER I CHOSE A DIFFERENT ONE
AND DYED IT WITH YOUR BLOOD?
LOOK.
I GAVE YOU AN OUTFIT.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
SIPHON OFF THIS ANNOYING
ANTIVAMPIRE SPELL.
AW. ARE YOU PROHIBITED FROM SHOWING PHYSICAL AFFECTION
FOR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
TRY BEING GAY IN 1900.
WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT SOME SILLY SPELL?
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE VALERIE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T.
I'VE HAD TO ENDURE TWO LIFETIMES
WITH THAT CONNIVING SHREW,
AND I'VE LEARNED THAT WHEN IT COMES TO VAL
YOU DON'T GET ON HER BAD SIDE.
NOT HAPPENING, STEFAN.
LOOK. IF I SIPHON CAROLINE'S SPELL, VALERIE WILL FIND OUT,
AND SHE'LL RETALIATE WITH SOMETHING MUCH WORSE.
THE GIRL IS A RANCID BITCH.
THAT'S NOT THE VALERIE THAT I KNEW.
WELL, I USED TO BE A SICKLY, ABUSED, LITTLE URCHIN
CAST OUT BY MY COVEN,
AND THEN I MET MARY LOUISE.
LOVE CHANGES PEOPLE.
I MEAN, MAYBE VALERIE'S OBSESSION WITH YOU
IS THE REASON WHY SHE'S A WALKING FUNERAL DIRGE.
MARY LOUISE: ♪ OH, NORA
WELL?
HMM. NOT BAD.
NOT BAD IS NOT GOOD.
NO, YOU LOOK NICE. IT'S JUST...
KIND OF PLAIN,
BUT I CAN SEX IT UP FOR YOU.
I'M COMFORTABLE LIKE THIS, NORA. DON'T.
STOP IT!
OH, COME ON. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A DEVIL.
YOU WANT A DEVIL?
MARY LOUISE: IT'S 15 MINUTES PAST THE HOUR.
DISTRACTION PERIOD OVER.
MARY LOU.
WAIT!
WELL, WHAT BETTER WAY TO SPEND HALLOWEEN, HUH?
WELL, WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO TO SOME
STUPID HALLOWEEN PARTY LIKE A NORMAL STUDENT,
MAYBE MEET A NICE GUY OR NOT SO NICE GUY,
HAVE A FUN, DRUNK HALLOWEEN HOOKUP
WHEN I CAN BE HERE,
STRUGGLING TO RAISE THE DEAD?
WELL, IF IT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE,
THIS IS WORTH SOME SERIOUS EXTRA CREDIT.
OH, YOU THINK?
WHETHER OR NOT I'M CAPABLE,
YOU'RE LUCKY I'M WILLING,
AND THE VISIONS FROM THAT STONE SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME,
SO DON'T...
RUSH ME.
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD
BECAUSE WE GOT TO BRING THIS GUY BACK TO LIFE.
NOW.
[MENE'S "BRAND NEW" PLAYING]
♪ HOW DOES EVERYTHING START AND END? ♪
♪ COME GATHER NOW AND LAY THIS BEAST TO REST ♪
♪ I KEPT HEARING TRUMPETS, GOT MY HEARING CHECKED ♪
♪ MY FATHER SPOKE OF PROPHECY... ♪
NICE COSTUME FOR TWO HOURS' NOTICE.
OH, THANK YOU.
YOU WEREN'T, OH, I DON'T KNOW,
ALREADY COMING TO THIS AND JUST, UH,
FORGOT TO INVITE ME?
I DIDN'T FORGET TO INVITE YOU.
I JUST FELT LIKE A HALLOWEEN PARTY
WASN'T GREAT FIRST DATE MATERIAL.
SO THEN THIS ISN'T OUR FIRST DATE?
WELL, IT DEPENDS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?
TORTURE.
STEFAN: OH, THEY'RE HERE.
GUESS IT'S TIME FOR US TO BABY-SIT.
♪ I WANT TO INVADE MY THOUGHTS ♪
♪ I WANT TO DIE IN KYOTO
BARTENDER: HI, GIRLS. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
A BIJOU FOR ME AND A CREÈME YVETTE
FOR MY LITTLE FLOWER HERE.
I'M SORRY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.
A GIN MARTINI AND A SEX ON THE BEACH.
GOTCHA.
SO LET ME GUESS.
OLD-FASHIONED DEVIL
AND SLUTTY ANGEL.
I LOVE IT.
BEG YOUR PARDON?
THANKS. IT'S CULLED TOGETHER
WITH STUFF I FOUND ON PINTEREST.
OH, MY GOD. PINTEREST. I LOVE PINTEREST.
GET HALF MY RECIPES FROM IT.
I'M OBSESSED.
OBSESSED.
[BOTH LAUGH]
BONNIE: PHESMATOS EXAUD MI, CONJUG SPIRITIS ET CORPE.
PHESMATOS EXAUD MI,
CONJUG SPIRITIS ET CORPE.
SCRATCH THAT ONE OFF THE LIST.
[DAMON GROANS]
HEY! YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE BANKING ON THIS.
IT'S NOT FOR ME, RIC.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT ME TODAY?
WILL BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP?
THE STONE WORKS.
I THINK IT'S CREATING A BRIDGE
BETWEEN THE BODY AND THE SPIRIT.
I JUST HAVE TO FIND A SPELL
THAT MAKES THAT BRIDGE PERMANENT.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
SO HOW GOES THE DIVERSION?
3. THAT'S THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE CAROLINE AND I HAVE SAVED...
BARELY.
SO DID YOU CALL JUST TO BRAG?
HOW MUCH LONGER?
BONNIE: OH, CRAP! RIC, PUT IT OUT!
THINK WE'RE CLOSE.
AHH. THERE'S THE MOPEY FACE
I'VE COME TO KNOW AND LOVE.
I GUESS ALL IT TAKES IS A SCOLDING FROM LILY
TO RUIN BREAKFAST.
WE HAVE AN ICE BOX FULL OF BLOOD DOWNSTAIRS, YOU KNOW.
YEAH, BUT SOMETIMES, IT'S NICE TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE,
TAKE A DRIVE,
GET OUT OF TOWN, COME BACK.
WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?
CLEARLY I'M NOT AS QUICK
AS THE OTHER ORPHANS IN THE WORKHOUSE.
ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING?
TOWN SURVEILLANCE HAS YOU ON THE ROAD
TO AND FROM WHITMORE LAST NIGHT IN A STOLEN CAR.
CURIOUS HOW OSCAR WAS ALSO AT WHITMORE LAST NIGHT
AND HAS SINCE MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED,
SO--HEH--YES, I AM ACCUSING YOU OF SOMETHING.
I'M JUST NOT SURE WHETHER IT'S LYING TO LILY OR MURDER
OR BOTH.
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW
BECAUSE YOU ARE WRONG IN WAYS
YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE.
ENLIGHTEN ME.
WHAT EXACTLY DON'T I KNOW?
HEH. WELL, MAYBE IT'S EASIER IF I JUST ASK LILY,
AND I'M SURE SHE'LL BE EAGER TO UNCOVER THE TRUTH
AND PUNISH YOU FOR IT.
I KILLED OSCAR.
HE KNEW TOO MUCH.
I HAD TO PREVENT HIM FROM BRINGING
A MONSTER BACK INTO LILY'S LIFE.
WHAT MONSTER IS THAT?
JULIAN.
YOU DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS LILY DOESN'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
WHO'S JULIAN, VALERIE?
SOMEONE YOU'LL WANT TO KEEP AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE,
ASSUMING THAT ONE DAY YOU WANT LILY TO LOVE YOU
IN THE SAME WAY THAT YOU LOVE HER.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
STEFAN: DO YOU THINK THEY FORGOT
THEY CAME HERE TO MURDER PEOPLE?
OH, NO. THEY'RE JUST WRAPPED UP IN THEIR OWN DRAMA.
SEE, NORA WANTS SOME BREATHING ROOM,
BUT MARY LOUISE IS SCARED IF SHE GIVES IT TO HER
THEN NORA'S GONNA LEAVE HER.
YOU GOT ALL THAT FROM THAT?
WELL, IT'S OBVIOUS.
[SLOW SONG PLAYING]
OR NOT.
YOU KNOW, I'D ASK YOU TO DANCE, BUT--
BUT I'D KILL YOU.
HOW CONVENIENT.
IF ONLY THERE WAS A PERSON THAT YOU COULD
TALK TO ABOUT IT.
I WILL ASK VALERIE TO UNDO IT
ONCE DAMON BRINGS OSCAR BACK TO LIFE.
WOW. SO YOU'RE NOT TECHNICALLY AVOIDING.
YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR DAMON TO RAISE THE DEAD.
OK.
CAROLINE, VALERIE'S BEEN DEAD TO ME
FOR 150 YEARS.
WELL, SHE'S BACK NOW,
AND YOU'RE SCARED THAT YOU'RE GONNA LOOK HER IN THE EYE
AND ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS ARE GONNA COME BACK,
YOU KNOW, THE INFATUATION
AND THE ABANDONMENT AND THE WHOLE FREAKING FAIRYTALE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SCARED OF,
OR THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SCARED OF?
IT CAN BE BOTH.
GOD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST TOO SOBER
TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS.
NORA...
WHERE DID YOU GO?
I'M JUST TIPSY ENOUGH TO ENJOY THIS MUSIC.
HAVE A TASTE.
SHE'S BEEN SNEAKING TEQUILA,
SO SHE'S A LITTLE SPICY.
HEH.
[BONES CRACK]
WHAT THE HELL?!
OH, DON'T ACT SO SHOCKED.
OH, DON'T PRETEND THAT WAS ANYTHING
OTHER THAN PETTY JEALOUSY.
THIS TRASHY GIRL WOULDN'T MEAN
A DAMN THING TO YOU IF YOU WEREN'T
SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION!
ATTENTION? HOW COULD I POSSIBLY WANT ATTENTION
WHEN YOU'VE BEEN PERCHED ON MY SHOULDER
FOR THE LAST 120 YEARS?
OH! AM I RUINING YOUR FUN?
"STAY CLOSE, NORA. SLOW DOWN, NORA."
AS IF IT'S STILL THE BLOODY 19th CENTURY
AND I NEED YOUR PROTECTION!
I'M NOT THE ONE STRUGGLING TO ADAPT, MARY LOU.
YOU ARE!
VERY WELL.
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
I'M GOING TO FINISH WHAT WE CAME HERE TO DO.
BONNIE: ABABBAS DAGOINET MATEESAH ELUNATAN.
OSHAWAS MELUNAWEH WASHASET ZAGOEDAN.
WELL, WHICH ONE WAS THAT?
IT'S SOMETHING I FOUND IN ONE OF YOUR
SHAMANISTIC ORAL TRADITIONS.
[SCREAMING]
OH, MY GOD.
[MOANING]
BONNIE...
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE MOST TERRIFYING PERSON I KNOW.
EASY THERE, BUDDY.
WHERE AM I?
YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO MYSTIC FALLS.
VIRGINIA? HOW DID I GET HERE?
WELL, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT ON THE WAY.
SMILE FOR MOMMY.
YEAH! OK.
BLOOD. I NEED BLOOD.
FIGURED YOU MIGHT.
EITHER OUR FRIEND STILL HAS THE MUNCHIES,
OR THIS RAVENOUS HUNGER IS A SIDE EFFECT
OF RESURRECTION.
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I BARELY UNDERSTAND HOW THE GUY'S ALIVE.
IF HUNGER IS THE WORST CONSEQUENCE
OF THE STONE SPELL, THEN WE GOT OFF EASY.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS TO JO?
LISTEN. IT'S NOW OR NEVER, DAMON.
NO OFFENSE, RIC, BUT I WAS ASKING BONNIE.
LOOK AT YOU SAD SACKS.
WHAT, AM I GONNA SAY NO?
DAMON, GO GET YOUR GIRL.
I'LL GET HIS.
TRICK OR TREAT?
I'VE BEEN TRICKED ENOUGH TODAY.
I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD A PEEP FROM THE GIRLS
SINCE THEY LEFT.
WHO'S JULIAN?
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT NAME?
I'VE HEARD A LOT OF NAMES IN THIS HOUSE
SINCE I MOVED IN, BUT JULIAN,
THAT'S A NEW ONE,
WHICH MEANS YOUR FAMILY ISN'T TALKING ABOUT HIM FOR A REASON.
WELL, THAT'S NONSENSE.
NO ONE WHO EVER MET JULIAN WOULD DARE SAY A BAD THING ABOUT HIM.
HE WAS A SAINT.
HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
WAS...
OR IS?
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
AHH. DAMON FOUND OSCAR!
GET OUT OF MY WAY.
WHY? YOU'RE DONE HERE.
OH. THAT'S EXCELLENT NEWS.
WHERE'S NORA?
I DON'T KNOW.
WE HAD A FIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
DO NOT PITY ME!
TRUST ME, I DON'T.
IS THIS HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK IN THE MODERN ERA,
EVERYBODY PEDDLING THEIR FLESH LIKE A STREET BAZAAR?
BECAUSE BLOODY NORA SEEMS QUITE INTERESTED IN THE BROWSING.
YOU KNOW, THESE DAYS, THEY HAVE THIS WONDERFUL THING
CALLED A THERAPIST.
HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?
I COULD THINK OF NOTHING MORE FUTILE
THAT PRATTLING ON ABOUT ONE'S EMOTIONS.
AS IF I CAN PREVENT NORA FROM DRIFTING AWAY
IF I ONLY FIND THE RIGHT WORDS.
OR AS IF CONFRONTING MY FIRST LOVE
WILL SOMEHOW MAKE HER DISAPPEAR.
CAROLINE THINKS THAT VALERIE'S MERE EXISTENCE
IS SOMEHOW SABOTAGING OUR RELATIONSHIP,
BUT IF SHE COULD JUST GET INTO MY HEAD,
SHE WOULD SEE THAT THE ONLY THING
STANDING BETWEEN ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
IS THAT DAMN SPELL...
WHICH YOU CAN REMOVE.
UNH!
ELLE KING: ♪ LUCIFER GONNA SET ME FREE ♪
I GOT YOU.
♪ IT'S A MEAN WORLD
CAN YOU--CAN YOU SLOW DOWN, PLEASE?
TRUST ME. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE LILY WAIT.
I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY.
HERE. THIS WILL TAKE THE EDGE OFF.
I'M GONNA NEED MORE.
NOT TILL WE GET OUR STORY STRAIGHT.
WE WERE IN MYRTLE BEACH, WE WERE WASTED.
YOU PASSED OUT.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO MYRTLE BEACH.
HOW DEEP DOES THIS AMNESIA GO?
I JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE, OK?
JUST--JUST A TASTE, A DROP.
WELL, THAT WAS THE LAST ONE.
WELL, THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STOP THIS THING!
NOT UNTIL YOU GET ONE RIGHT.
MULTIPLE CHOICE. YOU WERE IN MYRTLE BEACH--
A, PARTYING TOO MUCH; B--
[GROANING]
DAMON: HEY!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
♪ YOU'LL FIND ME WHERE THE DEVIL DON'T GO ♪
♪ WHERE THE DEVIL DON'T GO ♪
DON'T SHOOT THE ONE PERSON WHO CAN SOLVE THIS CASE
FOR YOU, DETECTIVE DUMBASS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
OSCAR'S ACID TRIP WENT FROM BAD TO WORSE.
I'VE BEEN TRACKING HIM THROUGH THE WOODS.
DAMON, IT'S HALLOWEEN.
THERE'LL BE GHOST TOURS GOING THROUGH MYSTIC FALLS
EVERY 30 MINUTES.
PERFECT. AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING.
I'M COMING WITH YOU.
DONAVAN, THAT BADGE DOES NOT TAKE AWAY THE FACT
THAT YOU ARE HUMAN.
PLEASE DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE BY HERETIC TONIGHT.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE?
GIVE ME A BREAK.
I DON'T WANT TO ADD YOUR DEATH TO A LONG LIST
OF THINGS THAT ARE ALREADY MY FAULT.
MAR? MARY LOU?
YOU CAN'T AVOID ME FOR--
SIPHON THE REPULSION SPELL OFF OF CAROLINE,
OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND DIES.
DO YOU SEE HOW EASY I MADE THAT FOR YOU?
YES. THANKS. NOW LET ME MAKE IT HARDER FOR YOU.
GET AWAY FROM HER!
[SIZZLING]
GRAB MY ARM AND SIPHON OR KEEP BURNING.
[MOANING]
STEFAN: DID IT WORK?
[SNAP]
WELL, THAT WAS A LOT MORE SATISFYING
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
TOUR GUIDE: ANY QUESTIONS BEFORE WE HEAD
TO THE FINAL STOP ON OUR TOUR?
YEAH. SO WHEN DOES THIS GET SCARY?
HEY! THIS ISN'T SOME HAUNTED HAYRIDE, OK?
IF YOU WANT TEENAGERS DRESSED UP IN SILLY COSTUMES
GIVING YOU JUMP SCARES, GO TO GROVE HILL.
AAH! AAH!
[TOURISTS SCREAM]
WOMAN: AAH!
[ALL SCREAMING]
OSCAR, ENOUGH!
WHAT ON EARTH HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?
OSCAR, YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEED.
YOU KNOW THAT.
YOU REMEMBER HOW WE LIVE.
YOU REMEMBER--EVERYTHING IN MODERATION!
[SNAP]
NOW I GET IT.
YOUR FAVORITE SONS ARE THE ONES
WITH THE RIPPER PROBLEMS.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND A DETOX
AND AN INTERVENTION.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.
WHERE THE HELL'S ELENA?
[ARUM RAE'S "WHAT GOOD IS A HEART" PLAYING]
WHERE ARE THEY?
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
OF COURSE IT MATTERS.
THEY WERE GOING TO HURT YOU!
I'M GOING TO FIND THEM AND RIP THEIR HEADS OFF
AND SMASH THEM TOGETHER LIKE TWO DISGUSTING MELONS AND--
WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
I CAN'T HELP IT.
YOU'RE ADORABLE.
♪ SAVE ME
♪ TAKE ME
I'M SORRY.
YOU WERE RIGHT TO WORRY.
NO. I'M SORRY.
WE'VE BEEN ON OUR OWN, SCORNED, ABUSED,
IMPRISONED FOR SO LONG.
I'VE FORGOTTEN THAT THIS WORLD IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED,
NOT FEARED.
HELP ME REMEMBER.
♪ WITH YOUR HANDS
♪ AND WHAT GOOD...
WE SHOULD GET BACK TO MYSTIC FALLS.
WE'VE SPENT AN ENTIRE LIFETIME THERE.
THE NIGHT IS OURS.
♪ WHAT GOOD IS MY HEART
♪ IF THERE'S NO ONE
♪ OOH, OOH
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH
NO! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. THIS CAN'T HAPPEN YET!
YES, IT CAN. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
NO! I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT
SOME INSECURE, JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND, OK?
-MM-HMM. -IT'S JUST WHEN I GET
SOMETHING THAT I'VE WANTED FOR A REALLY LONG TIME,
SOMETIMES I DO THIS THING--
YOU OVERTHINK THINGS. YEAH, I KNOW.
YEAH, BUT SOMETIMES, I SAY THINGS
THAT I DON'T REALLY NEED TO SAY,
BUT I'M JUST SCARED THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE THINKING THEM.
THE REASON THAT I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT VALERIE
IS BECAUSE I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT VALERIE.
I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU
AND HOW YOU AND I HAVE HAD MORE HISTORY
IN THE LAST 5 YEARS
THAN MOST PEOPLE HAVE IN A LIFETIME.
♪ WITH YOUR LOVE
HEY. THIS IS OFF LIMITS TO--
YOU'RE ONE OF THE HERETICS.
YEP. DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
RIGHT NOW, THERE'S A TOUR BUS FULL OF CORPSES
IN THE CEMETERY BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
WELL, I'M IN DANGER OF BEING EXILED FROM MY FAMILY
BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING EXTRA STUPID.
JOIN ME FOR A DRINK?
IF YOU'RE NOT GONE BY THE TIME I COUNT TO 3,
I'LL SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW.
1...
2...
3.
[GUNSHOT]
STICK TO TOURISTS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'M SWOONING ON THE INSIDE.
HEH.
IN CASE IT'S NOT ENTIRELY OBVIOUS BY NOW,
I CAME HERE TO BE ALONE.
OR YOU'RE PLANNING YOUR ESCAPE.
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE OSCAR SOBERS UP
AND FINGERS YOU AS HIS WOULD-BE MURDERER,
WHICH CLEARLY YOU'RE BLOODY AWFUL AT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, ENZO?
I WANT, DEAR, NOT SO INNOCENT VALERIE,
FOR YOU TO TELL ME HOW WE'RE GOING TO PREVENT JULIAN
FROM WALKING BACK INTO LILY'S LIFE.
I'VE ASKED BEAU TO REMOVE THE CLOAKING SPELL
FROM ELENA'S COFFIN.
YOU'RE FIND HER IN THE RUINS
OF THE OLD SALVATORE MANSION.
CLEVER...ISH.
I DO THINK SO.
I'M MOVING BACK TO MYSTIC FALLS.
I WILL CERTAINLY ASK THE FAMILY TO TAKE IT UNDER CONSIDERATION.
IT WASN'T A REQUEST.
THESE PEOPLE DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE KILLED
BY ONE OF YOUR FREE RANGE CHILDREN,
STEFAN'S UP TO HIS HERO HAIR IN HERETIC DRAMA,
AND I WORRY THAT MATT DONOVAN'S FUNERAL
IS GONNA CUT INTO MY SOCIAL SCHEDULE.
AND, WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA HELP KEEP ORDER?
DAMON, YOU COULD HARDLY KEEP A COVERED BOX SAFE.
YOU DO REALIZE THAT THIS INNATE DESIRE
TO KEEP ELENA PHYSICALLY PRESENT IN YOUR LIFE,
THIS BOYISH REFUSAL TO LET HER GO
WILL ONLY PUT HER IN MORE DANGER?
AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH,
WHAT A SHAME IT WOULD BE TO LOSE HER
BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO TERRIFIED TO FIND OUT
WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE WITHOUT HER.
IF YOU DARE TO RETURN TO MYSTIC FALLS,
IT'S NO SKIN OFF MY NOSE.
I WANT ONE MORE THING.
DAMON, VOICE-OVER: "DEAR ELENA, YES, YOU HEARD THAT CORRECTLY.
"HELL HAS FROZEN OVER.
"I'M WRITING IT ALL DOWN.
"GRANTED, I'M A HALF BOTTLE IN
"THANKS TO MY 1950 CHATEAU CHEVAL BLANC,
"A BOTTLE I WAITED 65 YEARS TO OPEN."
"I USED TO SPEND NIGHTS SITTING IN MY WINE CELLAR,
"CONVINCING MYSELF I COULD ACTUALLY HEAR IT AGE,
"TANNINS GROWING, FERMENTING,
"BUT APPRECIATING ITS BEAUTY
"DIDN'T MAKE THE TIME GO BY ANY FASTER.
"THE BOTTLE JUST LAID THERE ON ITS SHELF, TORTURING ME,
"WHILE I WAITED FOR KATHERINE,
"AND TIME STOOD STILL.
"EVENTUALLY, I CONVINCED MYSELF THAT NO SIP OF THAT WINE
"COULD EVER TASTE AS GOOD AS I DREAMT IT WOULD,
"SO I HID THE BOTTLE AND WALKED AWAY,
AND THAT'S THE STORY OF WHY I DRINK BOURBON."
"I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM WITHOUT YOU,
"BUT I DO KNOW THAT AS LONG AS I'M WITH YOU
TIME WILL STAND STILL."
"SO WHO IS DAMON SALVATORE WITHOUT ELENA GILBERT?"
[BONNIE CHANTING]
DAMON: "A SELFISH FRIEND"...
"A JEALOUS BROTHER"...
"A HORRIBLE SON?"
"OR MAYBE WITH A LITTLE LUCK, I'LL DO RIGHT BY YOU
"BECAUSE YOU MAY BE 1,000 MILES AWAY
"OR 100 YEARS AWAY,
"BUT YOU'RE STILL WITH ME,
AND MY HEART IS RIGHT THERE IN THAT COFFIN WITH YOU"...
[BONNIE CHANTING]
"UNTIL YOU COME BACK TO ME." N THAT COFFIN WITH YOU"...