Twenty years ago, the world fell to shit.
A big old apocalyptic dunk.
Some bug took out all the world's computers.
Power grids, down.
The internet, gone!
And not having easily accessible porn freaked people the *** out.
So, cities put up walls to protect themselves
and threw the criminals out into the chaos
so they could fight over what was left,
which was not much. Mostly cars and guns.
Now Insiders stay Inside, and Outsiders stay Outside.
But there are people who drive between.
Bad-asses, legends, humble *** like me,
delivering precious cargo from one walled city to another.
It's not an easy road because all these *** want what I got.
And that's where the cars and the guns come in.
Mm. How about some tunes?
Evelyn, may I have this dance?
Holy shit!
Okay, I got Barry, so who's left. Gary, Larry. Got it.
Don't you do it. Don't you even think about it.
Oh!
Where the hell is the exit? It's like a goddamn maze in here.
I'm here then the exit is...
Oh! They have a Foot Locker. Son of a...
Hey, there!
ID.
He's a Milkman. Must be our delivery.
Yeah, they know me. I'm here all the time. Hey, Doug.
Hey, John. He's new.
A virgin!
Oh, I got a big package for you, all the way from Paso Robles.
Some Vultures wanted it real bad but not bad enough,
you know what I mean?
Hey, that better be unleaded ninety-three in there.
Ninety-one gives Evelyn the squirts.
Payment's been placed in the trunk.
We have new deliveries for you to, um, deliver.
You're such a lamb. Where to?
Fresh batteries to the Gravesboro colony.
And the usual shipment of medicine to New San Francisco.
New San Fran? It's been a month already?
Mm-hmm.
Time makes a fool of us all.
What's your name slugger?
Abner.
Abner? Really?
I mean, it's a nice name, you just don't meet too many...
Anyway, come here, Abner.
How about you let me, uh, slip inside...
- Outsiders stay Outside! - Hey, hey! Take it easy.
Relax!
Attaboy. All right. This has been a gas.
I'll see your shiny faces in a month.
Till then, Abner, eat up.
What'd the Milkman bring us this time?
Tonight, we feast!
See, a Milkman's job is never done.
It's a big world out there.
But at the end of the day, all that matters is me,
Evelyn, and the road.
No way!
It's the Bosch ICON premier windshield wipers!
No! Get off!
Give me the package, Milkman!
Goddamn Vultures!
See that?
The tension springs keep the blade flexible
for the premium wiping performance.
Let's go!
Come on!
Let's go!
Come on!
That must be nice.
At least I was a cute kid.
Damn! Look at all of these Pedestrians, Ev.
All right. Time to turn on the charm.
Looking real official today, Bill.
Welcome back, John.
Got a fresh box of insulin for you.
Life must be good if the diabetes are that bad.
For me?
Well, you shouldn't have.
You're coming home with me, baby.
What am I taking to San Diego for you?
Stop!
The COO of New San Francisco wants to talk to you. Inside.
Like, 'Inside'-inside?
Let him through.
Open the gate!
Holy ***!
Clear the perimeter.
You can park over there.
Whoo! You all got some big ass trucks, huh?
All right.
Right. Oh, oh shit! Oh, wait.
Shit, oh. Oh, oh boy.
Yeah, almost.
Make sure I leave you enough room to get out, you know.
All right, here we go.
Okay.
There we go.
Whoo! Okay.
Strip.
Oh, shit!
All right.
Guess I'm not getting the knife back, am I?
Lemony-fresh, what's next?
Hi John.
I'm Raven, COO of New San Francisco.
Let me get you a drink.
So, tell me, what's it like on the Outside?
I'm sure you got some stories.
Stories?
Of course, I do.
Okay, how about this one.
Once upon a time there was a Milkman.
Charming, devilishly handsome... you know the type.
Well, he was an Outsider.
Then one day, a miracle happened.
He was invited Inside
for no reason other than to have a beer with a mysterious,
mildly intimidating little white lady.
Tada!
Fair enough.
We get a lot of Milkmen coming round here.
But none of them more than twice.
You, on the other hand, have come dozens of times.
You're consistent, reliable. You got a solid ass.
Boom!
I wanna hire you.
To do what exactly?
What you do best. Pick up a package, bring it back.
It can't be that simple.
Well, there are a few complications.
One, you can't know what you're transporting.
Ooh! Okay, I have a question.
It's not organs.
Damn it! It's never organs.
So, what's the second complication.
The package is in New Chicago.
Sorry. Um, thanks for the beer.
John, sit.
No, look, I'm sorry.
New Chicago is too far and it's too risky.
Sit.
Please.
Now, I gotta tell ya.
I can make people's desires, their dreams,
, their every wish come true.
So, John, what do you wish for?
Wow, okay, that...
I wasn't ready for that. Um, well, hmm.
Um, unlimited gas, hmm?
A new t-shirt, this one's kind of smelly.
Um, toilet paper.
You have no idea what I would do for some two-ply.
I think I can do better.
Three-ply?
How about a tour?
Mm.
See anything you like?
That's what I get, a souvenir?
I mean, I'll take that girl's hat.
No, John. This is your prize.
If you go to New Chicago and bring this package back for me,
I will make you a citizen of New San Francisco.
I get to live here?
John, I remember when the colonies closed themselves off.
When they threw the murderers and thieves
and bad guys out into the world to fend for themselves
without law and order.
But you, you don't belong out there.
You're not one of them.
John, if you do this run, you won't be returning with a package.
You'll be coming home.
Shit! They're gaining on us. Faster!
I'm on it, little bunny.
We can't find shit back here.
If we're gonna steal shit, we gotta stay organized.
Boo-yah!
Holy shit!
Suck a nut, ***!
Gotcha.
We're home free!
Let's go collect 'em, boys.
Make yourself at home. I'll be back in a minute.
What?
This is amazing.
Perfect place for an ambush.
Called it. Shit.
Oh, shit.
- You're home early! - Yeah.
- Good day? - Yeah, very good.
Come meet John. John, this is my husband, Noah.
Huh. Hi, I was just admiring your, uh... This thing.
It's an honor.
Yeah, I've never met a Milkman before.
And you've never met a baby before, have you John?
No.
Her name is Dove.
Hi, Dove.
Oh.
I think she likes you.
John's staying for dinner.
I am?
The wheels on the bus go
Round and round
The wheels on the bus go
Round and round
All through the town
The mommies on the bus say
I love you
The mommies on the bus say
I love you
All through the town
Oh! I almost forgot. Dessert.
Yeah.
Jello!
Jello.
John, aren't you tired of almost dying every day?
Of looking in the rearview mirror and only seeing yourself?
Aren't you tired of always being alone?
So, what do you say, John? Will you drive?
You have ten days to pick up the package and deliver it here.
One second over and the deal expires.
Can you handle that?
I can handle that.
You fixed my window.
Smooth.
See you in ten days, John.
Until then. Jello, Raven.
Whoa!
Okay, oh, boy. I got... Got it.
Here we go. All right. Jello!
Bye, John!
Bye.
Get it back to its mother.
Ugh!
Your payment's in your apartment.
I'm done with him. Ugh!
Peekaboo.
Hi.
Bet you kids are wondering why we pulled you over today.
I'm not sure what you think we did, but,
but we didn't hurt nobody.
I swear. We're innocent.
Huh?
That's some fresh material right there.
You know, when I was a boy,
my father told me about a police chief named Bratton.
You ever heard of him?
No, sir but I...
No, no. Stop talking.
It's rhetorical.
Well, this police chief Bratton,
he cleaned up Manhattan,
which is a borough of Old New York
in case you don't know your geography.
Chief Bratton had a theory that little sins could attract big sins.
And so he would stamp out those little sins
like a match before it ever caught fire.
And you know what? By, it worked.
Crime went down because he showed no tolerance, no mercy.
Not even for petty vandalism, defecating in the park.
Gosh!
And even looting. He saved New York, I'm saving this country.
Now then, you two have a choice.
You and your lover...
Sister. We-we have the same mom and dad.
I know what a sister is.
As I was saying, you and your sister have a choice.
You can resist, in which case
I'll have to napalm the both of you.
Or, one of you can make the tough choice.
Take your own life.
Consider it your punishment for the crimes committed against the law.
Eat my ass, ***.
Huh, look at all those brains.
Who knew?
Officer...
Let's see.
There you go.
Oh, that's why you're quiet.
You're from Orange County.
I've heard barbaric things those Insiders do to their own to
keep them in line.
But you...
you won't need words
to let others know you crossed paths with Agent Stone.
Let's go, boys.
Just in case you decide to take the path of your brother.
You have a nice day now, ma'am.
Oh, shit!
Tommy.
Tommy!
What's the rush?
Not like you're going anywhere.
Hey, a little help, Tommy.
Saving your ass once again.
You're lucky.
This baby blew the pants off a Vulture last week.
Took me days to get the blood and toenails out of the tile.
Now, you got a delivery for me or you just here to chap my ass?
Neither. I need a map.
- A map? - Yeah.
W... hell, why didn't you say so?
Come on over.
Where you headed?
Got a lot of people going to the Great White North.
It is a steel rush.
Ah, I got a route here through the Redwoods.
It will make your nipples spin like the lady in the burlesque show.
I'm not going North.
Ah.
I'm going East.
East?
How far east we talking?
New Chicago.
Give me your belt, John.
Why?
You're clearly suicidal. So, gimme your goddamn belt.
Hey, stop that, man! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You have no idea what's out east, do you?
Of course, I don't.
I've never driven past Barstow.
That's why I am here seeing your pretty face.
Okay.
Okay, New Chicago.
New Chicago.
It's two thousand one hundred and thirty-two miles from here.
You know what that means?
I shouldn't walk.
It means two thousand one hundred and thirty-two miles of no cover.
No protection. No safe harbor.
The only shelter means dealing with a bunch of
brainwashed burger-worshipping screw ***.
I'm not that desperate.
You might be.
The roads out east aren't like the roads here.
You won't be dealing with your run-of-the-mill Vultures.
These boys are predators.
Even the people trying to bring the law back are just as dangerous.
It's chaos out there, John.
You'll be dealing with it alone.
So I gotta ask...
Is the risk worth the reward?
You're gonna have to go through Vegas, John.
We both know who rules Vegas.
Why's the map so small? Wait, is that a dick?
God!
You know, it's really rude
not to introduce yourself before pulling a gun on someone.
This is ruder.
How about you lower that sorry excuse
for a gun and I'll lower my exceptionally cool blade.
We don't want things to escalate, do we?
Okay. See? Now things have escalated.
It's you.
We don't have time for this.
So how about you tell your partner to come out from where he's hid...
Oh, okay. Whoa! Touched a nerve.
You're hurt. I get it
There's a way out of this, okay?