- [Annie] Previously on Cruel Intentions. - Sure.
Everybody, make way, coming through. We have a Lotto winner here.
[shushes] I can't believe you.
- [Lucien] Aren't you having fun? - It's your influence.
[both laugh]
Are you saying that some hack professor is more important
than the future of your sisterhood?
Scott should be Alpha Gamma's next official president.
You're gonna have to take a mulligan, Blandsman.
What the fuck?
[Blaise] I think this is a problem that can only be solved by a woman's touch.
I think the right thing to do is to step aside.
Alpha Gamma, let's go!
- [students cheering] - Well, come in.
[reporter] Wait, so this whole thing is just a personal vendetta?
She is pure evil.
I'm not letting you do this to me.
More champagne?
- [Annie laughs] - [Lucien speaks indistinctly]
["My Kiss Era" playing]
♪ They don't believe in heaven ♪
♪ Seen around here anyway ♪
♪ They don't believe in heaven ♪
♪ Seen around here anyway ♪
[paper rips]
♪ Holding to your waist The closest to a hug ♪
♪ Only for fear of being hugged ♪
♪ You used to go so fast I used to be so scared ♪
♪ I wonder what will happen If I just let go ♪
♪ And let you fall all on your own ♪
[student] Thought you wanted to fuck my trauma.
[both chuckling]
- [music ends] - [birds chirping]
[Caroline] Where are you going?
Caroline. There you are.
- I thought you were-- - Outside?
[CeCe] No.
Then where are you going?
- Nowhere. I have information. - Oh.
- CeCe? - Yeah?
- Do you want to tell me that information? - Oh, yeah.
I wanted to tell you it looks like Heaven's gonna get pretty crowded tonight.
Not that anyone's dying or anything. I'm talking about the event.
Thanks to Scott's spread in the paper, plus Annie's little drop in,
it seems like the tides are finally turning in our favor.
The RSVPs are flooding in
so everything's going really, very swimmingly.
- So we have it then. - We certainly do.
- Good. - Yes. Good.
Just, if by chance, we need to clarify that by "it,"
we're both referring to--
- Annie's RSVP. - Ah!
Then, um, no, we actually do not have it.
[sighs]
Are you going to get it?
Okay. Now, I was planning to relay this to you once I had all the intel,
but according to some of my satellite people, your stepbrother,
- Lucien-- - Yeah, I know his name.
Um, allegedly, he was seen
sneaking out of Annie's dorm room this morning. Early.
And that's after all the funny business at the party.
[scoffs] Funny business?
- Is that the vernacular we're choosing? - You know, canoodling and whatnot--
You're getting further away from it.
Well, whatever you want to call it, statistically speaking,
Lucien's not so reliable when it comes to, well, canoodling and whatnot.
And I wouldn't want anything he did to ruin
the significant progress he made with Annie Grover.
Okay. So, that's it.
- Where are you going? - Um, school.
But... [chuckles] ...I'll be back later for Heaven.
My favorite.
[door closes]
[Caroline sighs]
[sighs]
[sniffs]
[smacks lips] Hey.
He left this morning. Early.
Nothing happened.
Just...
- Okay. - Okay.
Um, we just, you know, we just watched X-Files...
[chuckles] ...and then-then we fell asleep.
[sighs]
- Gr-Great. - [sighs] Yeah.
Uh...
Why do you think he left so early?
This isn't really my purview.
Right. Forget it. Sorry.
Um, I was just, uh...
Do you think I should, like, text him or something?
Maybe this is something you should talk to a friend about?
Okay. You're right.
[sighs]
How about the girl with the bangs?
Yeah, you're right. Yep.
Um, well, thank you for protecting me.
[chuckles] Thanks.
[sighs]
What are you doing?
This is not the game you're supposed to be playing.
Lucien.
- Mah-jongg. - [gasps]
Think you're making everyone a little bit tense.
So either take a seat or leave.
It seems you've been all over campus this morning.
No one likes a tattletale.
So this is how you're choosing to spend your time?
Fresh off the boat five-card stud?
Caroline, please, these are my friends.
And it's mah-jongg.
They don't speak English.
And forgive me for wondering where Annie Grover fits into all of this.
Well, she got boring and tedious, really.
Oh, so you're forfeiting?
No forfeit.
I'm just taking a break to do some more stimulating things.
She hasn't pledged. You haven't delivered her.
You still have a job to do.
Trust me, it'll be easy.
This better be a calculated move and not your usual self-sabotage.
Okay, now you're getting boring.
Do I have to do everything myself?
Seriously, a salad in Mexico is more reliable.
[sighs] What a cunt.
[all laughing]
[sighs]
Oh. I thought you were my food.
- What do you want? - Nothing.
Um, I like your bangs.
They screened Breathless in my French New Wave cinema class, so...
[Annie] And they look really good.
They look really French.
What do you really want?
Nothing. Seriously, I just...
I-I wanted to see how you were.
I thought we could talk, I guess.
- Talk. - Yeah.
I thought maybe you'd want to hang out.
You think after everything that happened, I wanna hang out with you?
- Beatrice, I'm sorry. I-- - No.
No, don't do that.
Okay, don't apologize.
Don't try to talk to me.
Don't act like you're my friend.
You turned your back on your principles, and I was humiliated.
And I'm devastated.
[Beatrice sighs]
Now, if you'll excuse me, as if my life couldn't get any worse,
my order is now delayed because they can't connect me to a dasher.
Hell yeah, brother.
You're happy about this?
Well, yeah.
It's pretty big.
[stammers] I don't think the dick rendered here
is necessarily supposed to be your dick.
- Right. Well, it's on my face, so-- - That it is.
Pointed nice and clear right at your mouth.
So, what are they saying? They're saying that I eat dicks?
I think that's a safe interpretation.
So, what's that supposed to mean? That I'm, like, gay or something?
Or something.
That's a little messed up. Why would anybody do that?
[sighs]
I don't know. They're probably just jealous.
Oh, they drew a dick. It's no big thing.
Well, you saw it.
It is big. So...
Yes, it is a big dick, but it's no big deal.
You know, it's a frat house. Boys will be boys.
I don't like boys.
Yes, and you've made that abundantly clear.
Well, you think you could help me, like, rub this one out?
I don't think that's a great way to put that.
Look, I'll get some Windex, clear it up for you.
Thank you.
[sighs]
- Hey. - Hey.
Clear up the Sharpie,
or everyone's gonna see your little Sharpie.
You know, this raccoon situation we got going on really is nutty.
[CeCe] Visuals are really very important.
So I figured, well, I made a PowerPoint to accompany
the lecture for this week and the lectures for the next few weeks,
and I found some really cool shots of Mussolini in Munich.
All right, thanks. I'll take a look at it later.
Okay, I get it. All right.
I missed your class last week, and I disappointed you.
- I understand. - What are you talking about?
I want you to know that it has truly been an honor and a privilege to work for you,
- brief as it's been. - There's some type of...
- You don't have to let me down easy. - ...miscommunication.
I've been through this song and dance before.
I wrote the tune, I know all the steps and I--
CeCe, you're not fired. I'm not firing you.
Well, then why are you so upset?
It's got nothing to do with you.
[scoffs] Okay.
Um...
Well, maybe we could get you a plant?
Or maybe it's a vitamin D thing.
You know, studies are always harping about "vitamin D this, vitamin D that."
Personally, I think it's a bit of a scam, but--
It's my ex-wife.
- You were married? - Yes.
She's doing the reading here on campus and her name is plastered everywhere.
Wait, you were married to the "Fuck Your Trauma" lady?
[sighs]
[scoffs]
[mutters] Whoa. [laughs]
[CeCe pants]
Now, I feel better.
- [chuckles] - [chuckles] There's a lot of them.
[knocks on door]
[Annie] Caroline. Hi.
Sorry for the intrusion.
I just wanted to check on you.
Um, check on me about?
We haven't received your RSVP for Heaven tonight.
- Oh. - We'd love to see you there.
Yeah, sorry, I've just been running around all day.
Um, it's been kind of hard settling in, to be honest with you.
Trying to figure out how everything works around here.
Totally understandable.
I remember my freshman year.
Everything was new and intimidating.
It felt like I had no one to commiserate with.
Yes. Yeah, that's exactly it. [chuckles]
Cute.
I like dogs.
You know, it was actually at Heaven my freshman year
that I finally found my sisters at Delta Phi.
I just remember thinking
how nice it was to have girls I could really talk to, you know?
[sighs] Yeah, that-that does sound really nice.
[Caroline] So I'll see you there?
- I'll be there. - Great.
- I'll make sure you're in my circle. - Okay.
It'll be really fun.
I can't wait.
[door closes]
[sighs]
[doctor] Our memories are more than just past preserved.
Every second that passes leaves a mark on us.
So it's only natural that pain cuts deeper.
Our trauma creates an indelible track within us.
When we open our bodies to new input,
we give ourselves the opportunity to heal.
Through sex, the body finds new rhythm.
So we must not be afraid to give in to our desires,
no matter how shameful or taboo.
Because to confront the uncomfortable
is to take control through vulnerability.
To fuck away the trauma.
[all chuckling]
- All right, man. Catch you later. - Good stuff. That was sick.
- Take it easy. Annie Grover. Hi. - Scott. Hey.
- I'm so glad I ran into you again. - Yeah.
Hey, did you have fun at the Delta Phi party?
- I did. Yeah, it was... it was fun actually. - Okay, good.
My mom has been bugging me to have college experiences,
so it was good to meet some new people.
Yeah, your brothers seemed cool.
What do you mean?
- Nothing. Why? - Nothing.
I was just saying they seemed nice.
Yeah, I mean, they're nice one day,
and then the next they're drawing a dick on your face.
- [sighs] - Sorry?
Ah. Never mind.
Uh, I gotta go to class,
but you should come over to the house and hang out later tonight
after the Delta Phi rush thingy.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, maybe.
- Okay. All right. I'll see you later. - Thanks.
Okay. See ya.
[Annie sighs]
[doctor] And I'm happy to give you more references
if you want to go deeper into the world of BDSM.
Okay, great. All right.
Well, I think we have time for one more question.
[chuckles]
You. The toothpick.
Just out of curiosity.
How do you know that you fucked all your trauma away?
Because I'm free to give and receive pleasure
in whatever way I want, with whomever I choose.
Hmm.
We can discuss this further at the signing.
Well, that's our show.
- Let's go. - [student] CeCe's not here.
I don't think we can start without her.
- She's rush chair. - She's late.
We're starting. It's not a craniotomy.
Do you know what's happening?
Oh, no, not at all.
- Do you? - No. [chuckles]
["Lean on Me" playing]
♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm ♪
♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm ♪
♪ Sometimes in our lives ♪
♪ We all have pain ♪
♪ We all have sorrow ♪
♪ But if we are wise ♪
♪ We know that there's always tomorrow ♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪ When you're not strong ♪
[Caroline] Welcome to Heaven.
Thank you.
- Welcome to Heaven. - Thank you.
[Caroline] So glad you could make it.
[pants]
Wow. It looks amazing. [pants]
- Hi, Annie. - Hi.
Caroline, I'm so sorry. I got totally sidetracked, but I'm here now.
- So I'm just gonna go get dressed-- - No worries, CeCe. It's taken care of.
Taken care of? What do you mean?
You can sit this one out.
[CeCe] Wait, I just need to go--
How about you go do something for school?
Let's go, ladies.
Wait, but they're using my room for confessionals.
Where am I supposed to go?
[music continues]
[music ends]
[hip-hop playing on speakers]
I just think adopting all of the dogs at the end seems a little crazy.
That's a lot of dogs. 101?
Oh, I didn't find it super realistic.
Like, don't get me wrong, I liked the movie.
I just think that all the dogs is a little crazy.
Did you just watch 101 Dalmatians?
No. Why is the dick still there?
- [students laughing] - [student] Bro.
Yo. [grunts] Those guys looking at me?
Looks like they're concentrated on their game.
- [laughing] - Hmm, no.
For real, that one just laughed at me.
You're being paranoid.
I can't even eat a hot dog after power hour, dude.
Well, you have to admit it's not the subtlest of snacks.
It's a hot dog. It's protein.
I'm not giving up protein, Blaise.
[clicks tongue]
Look, dude, my dad comes here for Parents' Weekend,
so we gotta stop whoever's doing this. Like, the gay stuff.
[students laugh]
Why are you looking at Blandsman?
I'm not.
He's looking at you, dude. Are you guys looking at me?
I was just thinking maybe he's a little bitter about losing the presidency.
No.
Blandsman's a good guy.
[Blaise] Scott, I didn't want to have to tell you this,
but Blandsman is not a good guy.
He's a loose cannon, and we cannot trust him.
That's why I didn't want him becoming president.
Look, I'll have words with him.
- Okay? - You know what?
I have words too.
Ah, nice. He's fucking done. I mean, he can go fucking--
- Hey, Blandsman. - Hey.
Uh, just...
- Yeah? - ...wanted to say that, um...
Actually, it's, um...
- [grunts] - [groans]
[Brian groans]
Who's the f-slur now?
[student] Dude, you okay?
- Oh, what the fuck, dude? - [sighs]
[chattering]
[Caroline] Welcome to Heaven.
Tonight is special because you are special.
We want to get to know you, the real you,
because we believe you could be a part of our next pledge class.
We will all be sharing a sacred part of ourselves.
In this circle, this house, is a safe space.
No matter what is said, we will support each other through it.
Nothing we say tonight will be judged,
and nothing we say will be repeated.
This is sisterhood.
[Chadwick] CeCe?
Hi, Professor Chadwick. What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here? - Um...
I was late to Heaven, so they kicked me out, and now I have nowhere to go.
That's a metaphor?
No, it's just my favorite rush event.
We do it every year at my sorority Delta Phi.
It's an intimate night of sisterhood and friendship.
Oh. And you were late because...
I saw you there.
Yeah. I saw you too.
Why did you go?
- I've never been married. - Hmm.
She's very attractive.
Is that why you went?
I went to be supportive 'cause I thought it was the right thing to do.
And I hadn't seen her since she left me and wrote a best seller about it.
Yeah, I know. I'm in the middle of chapter three.
Huh.
I'm gonna join you.
[bartender] You got it.
Great. [sighs]
[Caroline] If any of you feel at all uneasy, you're welcome to leave.
I'll start.
This might be a surprise to all of you, but I wasn't always the person I am now.
Growing up, I was actually painfully insecure.
I felt like a disappointment.
To my mother, to everyone really,
except for Adrian.
He was my tennis coach.
A man in tennis whites.
You can imagine.
But it wasn't just that he was gorgeous.
I could also really talk to him. You know?
Anyway, one day after practice, he brought me back to his office.
He had a couch in the corner of the room.
All of a sudden, I just knew what was going to happen next.
He kissed me.
Oh, it was just...
[chuckles]
I had wanted it to happen for so long.
Next thing, we were having sex.
It was my first time.
And I remember looking up at him.
It was all so perfect.
- [door slams] - [person crying]
Until my next lesson.
There was a new coach there.
I thought someone had found out about us, or I had somehow gotten him fired.
It ended up being much worse than I had thought.
It turned out he never liked me.
He quit.
Because he never wanted to see me again.
The only reason he had sex with me was because my mother paid him.
[gasps] Oh, my God.
She was just trying to boost my confidence
because I told her no guys would ever like me.
She thought she was trying to help, but... [chuckles]
...how can you trust anyone after something like that?
[pledges sniffle]
I don't know.
Which is why... [sighs] ...I am so glad for Delta Phi.
And for all of you.
[doctor on phone] Ride me, daddy.
[both moaning, panting]
I'm so hot. You don't want to watch?
I was there, wasn't I?
[doctor] Then why bother recording?
Didn't say I wasn't gonna watch it later.
Did you even enjoy it?
If you're asking if I came,
I can always fish out the proof.
If you've gleaned anything from my work,
then you know that sex is not just about coming.
It's about discovery. About being present.
And in the moment.
I have a confession to make.
The only work of yours I'm currently familiar with is on my phone.
Well, I was just hoping for some meaningless, naked fun.
I didn't sign up for a free therapy course courtesy of Dr. Fuck the Pain Away.
[chuckles] Who said it was free? [sighs]
Oh, so now you're fucking me for money?
The only thing that you may be fucking was the camera.
Now you're kink-shaming me.
Oh, no, this?
This isn't a kink.
It's fear.
And it's obvious.
You're afraid of being seen by the person that you're with.
Of actually connecting.
I'm sorry, Doctor, but this is getting boring.
[doctor] Bet you say that every time someone tries to get close.
Yeah? There you go. Running away.
No, I'm actually walking at a very normal pace.
[inhales sharply, exhales]
It was the worst Christmas ever.
[sighs] I'm telling you.
Don't do 23andMe. [sighs]
I don't... I don't think I have really that much to say.
Okay. Um...
I like my parents... [clicks tongue]
...and I-I don't have any siblings, so no one ever beat me up.
[chuckles]
Um, I have food and water, so--
[chuckles] Okay, you can talk about anything.
[clicks tongue] I'm a virgin.
So that's pretty embarrassing.
[Annie sighs]
There's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
Um, I don't...
I don't know.
Maybe it's because of my dad's job
or how I grew up,
but... [sighs] ...I don't think I know how to talk to people.
Maybe I'm just not capable of connecting,
getting anyone to like me in a real way.
I mean, I'm 18 years old, and I've never even been kissed.
And when it finally does happen, he's probably gonna know
just because I'll be so bad at it.
[Annie chuckles]
Maybe I'm just broken.
[whispering] You were perfect.
- Scrapbookers. They're freaks. - [laughs]
And it's a gateway to bigger and badder crimes like needlecraft.
Needlecraft?
Knitting, crocheting little pillows with sayings--
Any pillows with sayings.
Needlepoint.
People who talk during movies.
- I hate that. - Me too.
- Dolphin trainers. - Hey, you're getting awfully specific.
They all seem perverse. Like, have you ever heard of Margaret Lovatt?
- Who? - Okay.
She was part of this NASA project to teach dolphins to communicate,
and you know what ended up happening?
She started having sex with the dolphin.
Okay, there was no penetration, just hand stuff.
But, I mean, you can read all about it. It's all over the Internet.
So all dolphin trainers get the gulag?
It's my fake dictatorship. What I say goes.
Fair enough.
Do you love her?
- Margaret the dolphin trainer? [chuckles] - No. Dr. Deirdre.
Oh, shit. [sighs]
I mean, she's confident, intelligent, beautiful.
I'd still be in love with her.
I mean, from the second I walked into the book signing today,
everyone was just hypnotized by her.
I can honestly say I don't have feelings for her anymore. I just don't.
She was amazing. [chuckles]
I'll never be like that.
Thank God.
I'm glad you're not like her.
[pants] I mean, that's gotta shut him up, right?
As long as it didn't make things worse.
[sighs] What was I supposed to do?
All right. [sighs] We can't be feeding into these rumors.
What rumors? They're not rumors, man.
They're lies.
Blaise. My dad comes to town in a few weeks.
He can't be hearing the guys saying this gay stuff.
Okay.
The news cycle is short.
- Everyone's gonna forget all about it. - No, no, no, no.
- No, no, this cannot go on the news. - It's not going on the news.
Nobody in my town's ever been gay.
I'm not gay.
Well, maybe we should spend a little less time together
before your dad arrives.
So no one gets the wrong idea about our friendship.
There's no wrong idea.
We're best friends. We mess around like...
like brothers.
[chuckles]
Yeah.
Everyone here has points on the board.
With girls.
Everyone has done something except you.
Yeah. It's 'cause I'm respectful.
Okay, and you can be respectful,
but maybe it'll help put the rumors to bed if you were to get in the mix a little.
Have some fun, you know?
Surely there's someone you like,
a girl who you feel like you can talk to,
makes you feel comfortable.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love girls.
Um, Caroline.
Annie. Did you have fun tonight?
I did. Yeah, you were right, it's exactly what I needed. Thank you.
Of course. I was really touched by what you shared.
I-I was actually wondering if I could ask you something.
Of course.
So, it's about your brother.
- He didn't do something, did he? - No. No, no, nothing bad.
It's just, um...
So we... [stammers] ...had a date together,
and it... it was fun. Um...
I thought it was gonna, maybe, I don't know, go somewhere,
and then, um, he left my room in the middle of the night.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Do you think I did something wrong? - No. [chuckles] Listen,
never blame yourself when it comes to Lucien.
As fun and as charming as he can be,
he's also damaged.
- Right. We're all damaged. [chuckles] - Yeah.
And I'm also not, like, actually interested in him or anything.
Please tell me if I'm crossing a line here,
but from what you said earlier,
maybe you feel you can't connect with people
because you're choosing the wrong people to try to connect with.
That's possible.
Listen, if I could go back,
I definitely would not have chosen to lose my virginity the way that I did.
And I'm not saying you have to be in love with the person,
but maybe just try to find someone who's nice.
Someone you trust.
You're right.
Thank you.
I'm here for you.
For whatever.
- Whenever. - Okay.
[Caroline] And Annie?
You're not broken.
[clicks tongue, inhales deeply] Okay.
Well... [chuckles] ...I'm gonna get out of here.
- Um, okay. - Don't forget your book.
You know what?
- Fuck that book. [laughs] Yeah. - Fuck it.
And you know what?
Fuck Heaven and fuck dictatorships.
- Fuck 8:00 a.m. lectures. - Yeah.
- Fuck vitamin D. - Fuck ex-wives.
- Fuck Blandsman. - Who?
Never mind. It's... Whatever. No one.
All right then, well, fuck old heartbreaks.
Yeah, fuck them.
And, especially, fuck my mom for paying my tennis coach to fuck me.
Oh, my God. That was so weird. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say that.
- No, I'm sorry that happened to you. - No.
No, it's really... It's not a big deal.
It sounds like a big deal.
No, I've had therapy and stuff.
It's just on my mind because I usually share it as my secret at Heaven,
which, I guess, is maybe not my favorite sorority event after all.
[chuckles] Okay, then fuck it then.
Yeah. [sighs] Fuck it.
[sighs]
- [hip-hop playing on speakers] - [chattering, laughing]
- Hey. - Let's hang out more.
Why don't I get us some drinks?
I'm okay. Thanks.
Here you go. Uh, I actually drank out of one of them.
I just can't tell which.
I don't mind.
Right on. Anyways, I just can't stop thinking about it.
[Annie] Yeah, okay, so it is a lot of dogs.
[Scott] Like, how does a person, I mean, not-- it's not a person, but how...
Like how did they get that pregnant?
So we're square?
[sighs] You swear it's deleted?
- It's deleted. - Like deleted, deleted?
- It's deleted. - 'Cause I can draw it again.
It's deleted.
[sighs]
Yeah, sure. Just take that one.
I see you finally got the dick out of Scott's mouth.
Yeah. Wait, you used to work at the shelters,
- right? - Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Is, like, that big of an adoption even possible?
I don't... I don't know actually. I'd have to look into it,
- honestly. - Like...
I get that it's a cartoon. I just...
I think they should at least make it make sense,
- you know? - No, I agree.
Guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
Ain't that fucking right.
[Annie] Next on Cruel Intentions.
[Lucien] Feel that chill in the air?
[Caroline] Yes, yes. Mother's arrival is imminent.
This is your first event as president.
I wanna make sure everyone's impressed.
- I wanna show your dad a good time too. - [CeCe vomits] Right now,
I'm looking down the barrel of a worrying array of symptoms.
- [gasps] - Shit!
I'm so happy that you and your mother are joining us for dinner.
My mom wants to have dinner with Scott's family tonight.
- You told me this was a done deal. - I'll get it done.
I have a confession to make.
- Your mother's a cunt. - [Caroline] Yeah, I know.