Previously on Seasons One and Two…
Four more shots please!
When I listen to you babbling I feel like I'm home,
and that all is well with the world.
-Cheers! -Cheers!
They are feisty.
Women have to work twice as hard to reach half as far.
They are flawed.
I told you you've put on weight, Siddhi.
What is this?!
They are judged!
The poor woman is a divorcee.
Four women…
who live, love, fall
and continue being friends no matter what.
Meet, Anjana Menon, the best friend.
The perfect lawyer
but the imperfect mother.
Pookie Auntie is very nice.
-You are the one who's fucking moving on! -So, you move on too.
I'll fucking show you what moving on is asshole!
This is Damini Rizvi Roy.
Journalist…
The Board needs to grow a pair of balls if they want to be in the news business.
Writer…
OCD in life, messy in love.
I like you too much.
This is Umang Singh.
The Punjabi girl, queer and curious.
Hi.
You just keep a little faith in me. It's gonna be absolutely…
I hope you know who she is!
The Bollywood Goddess Samara Kapoor.
And finally, meet Siddhi Patel!
Her dad's favorite…
Hey, Siddhi-Piddhi.
But also someone who doesn't get along with her mom.
-He chose men over you! -Shut up!
Just shut up, Sneha!
And, she's trying to love her body.
Vagina!
The four are always there for each other.
But sometimes, friendships do get complicated.
We were here to discuss my problems.
But as usual you've made it only about yourselves.
This is my first relationship with a woman.
I'm not even sure if I'm…
If I'm what?
I want to make this work.
Hi. I'm Myra.
I'm taking Arya to the hospital.
Arya!
Sids, are you okay?
Me and my heart are all alone.
Sid's in trouble. We need to help her.
It was time to leave all the baggage behind and move on.
-Sids! -Siddhi!
What are you guys doing here?
An SOS call is all it took to bring them together again.
Friendship tied and sealed forever.
Oh shit!
I miss you so much.
How did we end up here?
Do you still like me?
I don't think it's the right time to have this conversation.
You want me to do shows with you?
We make a good team, Hormonal!
From discovering hidden talents,
to making the world laugh.
Are you guys off your rockers? Is that why you're constantly shaking?
Or are you off your rockers because you're constantly shaking?
Join me. As a senior partner of course.
Seriously.
-Are you guys dating? -Yes.
It was also time to give love another chance.
-Will you marry me? -Yes!
But, what is love…
without a bit of drama?
I'm pregnant and it's yours.
-You're pregnant! -It's not yours.
You need to leave!
What the hell!
I believed you.
Had you known, would you have done things differently?
Honestly, I never doubted that it's not an open marriage.
I can't be with someone for whom I'm always second.
Umang!
There's nowhere else I'd rather be, with no one else I'd rather be with.
I love you guys so much.
Papa…
What?
He's gone!
He's gone…
Love makes your heart explode.
But loss, makes it shatter into a million pieces.
Is there any way to protect your heart?
Maybe not.
Because eventually, you lose all the people you have loved.
It's inevitable.
My papa is…
was, a wonderful, kind, warm…
and a funny man.
And I was his Siddhi-Piddhi.
He liked Kishore Kumar songs,
drinking vodka with me,
and coming here for morning walks with his friends, most of all.
Like he would always say,
"Vodka and sorrow are old friends."
And he loves me and my mom more than anything else in the world.
Loved.
It's so weird to talk about him in the past tense.
It feels like any minute he's going to walk in and…
and say, "Siddhi-Piddhi, let me tell you a joke!"
And I really miss his WhatsApp jokes.
Terrible as they were!
His…
Okay. His favorite bad one was…
"What are your plans for this weekend?"
"Income Tax returns."
"Oh! When did part one come out?"
How do Emirati babies cry?
UAE, UAE…
Say the one about the pencil.
Why shouldn't we use a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless!
But you know what?
As bad as Papa's jokes were…
his enthusiasm was so infectious,
you couldn't help but laugh with him.
I miss you, Papa.
And I hope you're making everyone laugh, wherever you are.
Whenever you feel
There's no ground underneath your feet
And you're spinning around
Like a fallen leaf
I'll be the wind that lifts you up
And carries you home where you belong
I'll be the wind that lifts you up…
Let them say what they want Like I care
I will do whatever I want
A little attraction And then some action
Hello mister, how do you do
Mr. Bartender please
Shake it baby, shake a drink for me
Gimme four more shots For me and my ladies
Let go of formalities
Gimme four more shots please
There's no time to waste now
Gimme four more shots please
Morning, beautiful.
Is setting up this daily obstacle course necessary?
Garlic breath!
Then why'd you order burnt garlic chicken last night?
Because I know how much you love it.
Really?
What else do I love?
Umang, listen.
This is the sixth complaint I've received about you from a client.
Any more, and the management will get involved.
He was spouting nonsense, okay?
About…
He was being an asshole.
All the male clients want to be trained by you.
Because they think you'll give them some juicy details,
about you and Samara.
Where are the female clients?
Female clients are worried about you being single now…
And you might hit on them.
Right. Because…
I'm a sex maniac, apparently. Right?
I just jump the first girl I see.
I only have two clients, Anusha.
I need to make a living.
What do I do?
I'm so big. Why is he so small?
You were that small once, baby.
No, I was always a big girl.
Yeah, no wonder Miss Vee-Vee gave up after that.
Oh my God!
-Hi! -Traffic jam outside, fam jam inside!
High on emotions, just like your mama.
Okay. Oh, you know what time it is?
It's family selfie time!
-Yeah! -Come on.
-Three, two, one. Say cheese! -Cheese!
Where's my other eye? I look like a one-eyed witch!
Oh, that's true. Let's do another one.
No, give it to Anj. It'll be easier.
What an idea!
Wow! It's the idea of the decade!
Please do the honors.
Yeah, sure.
Ready?
-Family! -Family!
Oh, okay. That's your picture.
-At least it has both my eyes. -Yeah.
We are a family!
Oh bubba, don't cry.
Don't cry…
Mr. Patel was one of our oldest and biggest clients.
We can diversify your portfolio.
A focused portfolio!
Reducing the risk of diversification.
But real estate is the only way.
Confused?
Don't worry.
We're here for you!
We'll make sure you never miss Mr. Patel again.
They swoop down like vultures to gnaw on vulnerable women!
We can do this, baby.
Just the two of us.
Not like we have a choice.
It's literally just the two of us.
Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow?
You could find someone really special.
So could you.
Don't be ridiculous.
And anyway, who wants a forty-eight-year-old?
Other forty-eight-year-olds
or eighty-year-olds or thirty-year-olds.
Mom, please. Age is just a number.
So either I change diapers or someone changes mine.
That's your plan?
Anyway…
you know there's no room in my heart for anyone but you…
and your papa.
Hey!
Shit, man!
18-19-20-21-22-23…
24.
Welcome to the moon!
We beat Chandrayaan-II to it!
Take a close-up, Madhav.
How many more potholes do I need to get close-ups of, Damini?
As many as there are.
There are 24 potholes in the last 1.5 kilometers.
Some of them as humongous as these.
Imagine a motorbike or an auto rickshaw getting stuck here, it could kill someone!
Let's measure it.
Hold up, only one of these pictures will be printed.
Under which you'll have space to write only four lines of text.
With the ads for constipation larger than the article.
We owe it to our readers.
All five of them?
Moving on.
Twenty-two foot spans is…
203.5 inches.
-All right. -What?
You know the size of your feet in inches?
You don't?
Okay.
-No, no, no… -Okay.
First woman on the moon.
Crazy!
Go back, if I could go back
I'd probably do that
So I could slam the door
So mad, you drive me so mad
Bend me till I snap
You got me ready for war
If I go down, you going down with me
If you go down
I'm drowning in the deep
Who is to blame?
Is it you or I?
Who is deranged?
Is it you or I?
You've got no shame neither do I
-Good morning. -Morning.
Who is to blame? Is it you or I?
Ask for an injunction.
The defendant doesn't want the plaintiff to take further action so--
I have a 2:00 p.m. booking for this room.
The Gateway Tech meeting?
Shouldn't I be part of it?
No, I got this one.
Okay.
Adil, let's go.
Go back, if I could go back
I'd probably do that
So I could slam the door
So mad, you drive me so mad
Bend me till I snap
You got me ready for war
Negotiations take time, Mr. Sethi.
The other side is just playing hardball.
Give us a little more time.
I can get you a better offer than this.
So, Shashank?
What do you think?
Ms. Menon knows best.
She always knows best.
Okay, so why don't you two take the conversation forward?
Sure, let's do that.
Thanks for coming. I'll see you out.
Thank you, Mr. Sethi.
If I go down
You going down with me
If you go down
I'm drowning in the deep
Who is to blame?
Is it you or I?
Who is deranged?
Is it you or I?
Yes?
What was that?
What was what?
What you said to Mr. Sethi.
"Ms. Menon knows best. She always knows best."
But it's the truth, right?
That's why I…
I mean, the firm, hired you.
Anything else?
No.
Keshav,
how many malaria cases were recorded in the first quarter this year?
Okay. Dengue?
Chikungunya?
-Thank you so much. -Hey!
You're Damini Rizvi Roy, right?
Yeah.
I've read your Bloody February.
Oh!
Before it was banned, of course.
The book wasn't banned, technically.
It just got pulled out because of protests.
I think the protests did the world a huge favor.
It was a 400-page tome of lies.
And now it lies in the tomb.
Excuse me?
People like you have this coming.
You deserve this.
Hey.
This world has gone completely mad, right?
What happened to "live and let live"?
These days everyone is offended by everything all of the time.
If I say this a little louder, I bet five people here will be offended.
That Kulkarni won't even let me do an op-ed.
For five months,
I've been covering dengue, malaria and potholes, Jeh.
And you know me, Jeh.
Even that I do super diligently.
But, till when?
How much longer will my punishment go on?
Till when do I have to keep proving myself?
By the way…
I'm surprised that she got away.
How did she survive that look of yours?
Which look?
I don't do that!
You must be confusing me with one of your exes.
Damini Rizvi Roy, you are a fighter.
So, fight the good fight.
Yes, this is Siddhi?
For a show?
No, I've quit stand-up.
Indefinitely.
Yeah, please don't call me.
Hey!
-Hi. -Why the long face?
Telemarketers.
Oh god, I hate them all.
Say hello to Little Miss Sex Maniac.
-What? -What?
Coming up…
in this world, there are three types of people.
#MangsPearlsOfWisdom
First, the ones that are having sex.
Second, the ones that want to have sex.
And third, the ones running away from sex.
And which one of these are you, Guru Mangs?
All three. Simultaneously.
O.M.G. Roll up to the party Roll up, roll up to the party
Yeah! O.M.G. Roll up to the party Roll up, roll up to the party
Damn!
Oh, it's raining hugs and kisses!
So much love!
You're gonna make me cry!
Hey, we haven't seen each other all day!
-Oh, my god! -I haven't seen Jeh for four days.
Where's my kiss?
And dude, aren't you my best friend? Where's my kiss?
Okay, just to remind all of you…
it was because of me that you all started coming here.
And if it wasn't for me, Jeh, you would've never hooked up with Dee.
So where is my kiss?
-Give us a kiss! -Give us a kiss!
-A kiss! We demand a kiss! It's our right! -Such noisy girls!
You'll are disturbing my customers!
-Off to the back with you! -Give us our drinks at least.
-One more! One more! -Just one.
We just came to party Yeah, we living for the moment
What is with girls and their papas?
They're our biggest heroes, right?
Varun isn't just Arya's hero, he's her superhero.
Maybe because they're the first man every girl loves?
But by that logic, mothers should also be our heroes…
because they're the first woman that we love.
I think for me, both my parents were my heroes, you know?
I just want to be like them.
Fierce, brave,
have an independent voice.
Take a stand every single day, just like they did.
I had an okay relationship with my dad.
Neither attached nor detached.
He would be transferred from one tea estate to another…
and I would actually see him only during my boarding school holidays.
Just two different worlds.
I know what you mean.
You know, you love them.
And they love you, of course. You have each other's backs, but…
it's like a…
like a missing link, right?
My dear dad…
he's generous, hard-working, honest.
He's just stuck in his patriarchal, hetero-normative approach.
And I was always striving to get his attention.
I played hockey, I lifted weights…
I won medal after medal…
in the hopes that I could be a better son to him than my brother.
And he actually said to me that…
"You can never be a sportsman,
because you can never fulfill the 'man' part."
So, you never had an emotional relationship with him?
You know, on my 22nd birthday,
I was presented with a photo album from a marriage bureau.
And he was like,
"Pick one. We have to get you married."
Yeah. Honestly, I never mattered to him.
That's how I felt.
God, that's hard!
This one time…
he was like…
"I love you a lot, but obviously…
I'm bound by our relationship."
But, Mangs…
however he is, he's still here.
You'll just wake up one day and they'll be gone. Forever.
I'm your love Raftaar, baby!
There's no end to our story, girl
We will bend the rules to be together
The ones you walk with
To make me jealous will get hanged
Full Dope! Your friend is the coolest, girl!
-Why fear? You are dangerous, girl! -Girls, we're reaching in five minutes.
One hope…
Story sent!
-Done! -Listen to Pookie Auntie and Dada, okay?
-I will play with Aarav all weekend. -Okay.
Oh look, look! A country cow!
Sids, that's a buffalo.
You break my heart and still dance away
Please, let's go back.
Mangs, you got this.
And we got you.
Let's go.
Ummi? Child, is that you?
Hello, Mom.
-Namaste, Auntie. -Namaste.
Who is it, Mother?
Ummi?
Look at this!
Is your name Simrat? Is it?
Who's come? Who is that?
Do you know Diljit Dosanjh?
Yes of course. He's Pammi's aunt's son.
-Could you introduce me? -Why not!
Let's meet him tomorrow.
Hey, Vikram!
Do you smell the samosas?
Who wants some piping hot samosas from Nathulals!
Hello, Father.
How dare she set foot into my house!
Talk softly, Umang's right outside.
How will she feel if she hears you, poor thing?
I don't care if she hears!
-Calm down. -We've been humiliated.
After so many years, our little Simrat brought joy into our homes.
But she won't even let us have that. Barges in to ruin everything!
-Enough, calm down. -I am calm.
We shouldn't have come here.
Let's go.
At least have some tea and go, Ummi.
Simrat takes after you.
Everyone says the same thing.
Are you happy, Pinky?
Yes, very happy.
Don't lie to me, please.
I'm not lying. It's just…
my priorities have changed.
Now, Simrat comes first.
Then everybody else.
Finding happiness in motherhood
doesn't equate to finding happiness in your marriage.
What is the point of going there?
-Does my brother take care of Simrat? -Absolutely.
All day it's "Simmi, Simmi."
I have also started to love Vikramjeet.
Not the kind of love we had.
More like what you'd feel for a best friend.
And that's enough for you?
Why are you asking me now?
Why didn't you ask me when I came to see you in Mumbai?
Ummi…
I'm not complaining.
I'm fine.
And I want you to be fine.
And listen.
Whether she says it or not,
Mom thinks about you all the time.
She needs you.
Like you need her.
No matter how grown-up and independent we become…
family is family, right?
And…
you were starting your own family too, weren't you?
With Samara?
Tell me are you happy now?
I know that we're long gone, long gone
I know that it's my fault I messed it up
Did you get everything that you want?
Did you find a new love of my…
I've always known.
Are you happy now?
Can you pass the sweet?
Thanks.
Ummi…
how's work?
Any new celeb clients?
Don't bring up those shameless and uncouth people in the house.
They are the ones to blame.
Isn't that right?
Didn't she sweet-talk you and make you like her?
Father, I've been like this since childhood.
You never bothered to get to know me.
You lived in my house for twenty-two years.
And now she tells me I don't know her.
Great.
Who am I?
What are my interests?
My goals?
Have you ever asked?
My entire childhood, I heard just one thing.
"A girl child is a temporary family member."
Maybe that's why you could never see me as your own.
Shut your mouth!
That's always your response to anything I say.
What a healthy father-daughter relationship!
She taught you how to talk like this, right?
To talk back to your father?
I'm your father, Umang!
Respecting me is your duty.
And your duty?
What about that?
It's been months!
You don't know what I've been through!
I was all over the news!
You didn't even call me once!
To ask if I was alright.
To check if I was dead or alive.
God forbid, should I one day get a call that something had happened to you,
I would never be able to forgive myself.
But if you ever get a similar phone call about me,
would you even care?
I shouldn't have come here.
Nothing's ever going to change.
It's not that I don't love you…
-I do love you… -Here we go.
"I'm bound by our relationship."
I'm tired of this backhanded love.
Father, I also love you a lot.
And that is what keeps me bound to you.
Can this equation never change?
It's too late now.
Too late.
Now…
I have only one daughter.
And her name is Pinky.
Enough!
Umang is still my daughter.
And she always will be.
I have three children.
You hear me?
Look up, I'm living in the clouds now
Check your clock, it's my time now
I created my own paths
No one can take my place…
I have only one principle Which I don't break
I don't bow down in front of anyone
Staying simple doesn't suit me
I don't listen to anyone, I do my own
I worked only towards my vision
Check my story, my life has been hard
Try and stop me, all I see is my mission
Show you how I like it
I'm my own vibe
Oh, wow!
That's Dee, eating some butter!
Nice.
Here's some balm. For your headache.
I'm fine.
Mangu! Hi!
Oh shit, incoming.
Stop, stop!
-"Mangu!" -Hello everyone!
-Hello! -Hi!
Hi, Neetu. Hi, Dolly.
You're in Ludhiana!
No phone call, no status update?
Dear God, you've changed so much!
And look at that! An entire tattoo sleeve!
Everyone talks about you here.
Look at us.
We took the boring marriage route.
And you! So cool!
You made such a great career for yourself!
That too on your own terms!
-In typical Umang style! -Agreed!
We are so proud of you, Mangu.
Mumma! I need to go potty. Now!
Hey, why does the pressure always strike you when we're out?
I told you to go when we were at home!
Why didn't you go then?
Come on. Let's go.
Okay, bye, Mangu!
Bye!
-Let's go, Uncle! -See you.
-Bye! -Bye!
Wait, wait!
Mangu, listen to me!
Come here.
Your problem with Samara? Don't worry.
It'll all get sorted out!
After all, true love is true love!
Don't stress! Okay, see you later!
-Bye! -Bye!
Come on, quickly! Bye.
Mangu!
Here. Your true love awaits.
Also, we are very proud of you too.
That's my school bus!
Girls! Come on! Let's go!
One minute.
Guys, come!
-Wait. What am I missing? -Come on.
You'll miss the bus. Come!
This is a school bus!
Not for the general public. Get off!
Mr. Teja Singh, it's me, Umang.
Oh, Umang!
The pain in my ass!
Champion of the school!
And my favorite.
You've grown up!
And you, you've aged like fine wine!
Even more handsome than before!
Where are you going?
Wherever you're going.
-School. -School!
Bit fast, can you ride that?
They don't know me I'm coming right back
In my zone, don't say anything I'll give you vibe check
Open your eyes See who's standing, stay aside
The race is long, even I know
I'm in form, that's why the time has come
I'm up till dawn 'Cause it's a new day tomorrow
I have made my own place
It was here…
where everything happened.
I finally understood who I was.
And exactly here…
I kissed Pinky for the first time.
I had strong feelings for her since the seventh grade.
And I just thought they were extra strong feelings for a friend.
"Extra strong!"
Yeah, I didn't know.
And you know how Vikramjeet fell in love with Pinky?
Because of me.
Because Pinky would be over constantly, to meet me.
And then…
Vikramjeet told Dad that he would marry only Pinky and no one else.
And Pinky chose Vikramjeet…
over me.
Forget about all this. It's fine. It's all good.
Okay.
Time for some old-fashioned Punjabi therapy.
Come on. Let's go.
Let's go!
Jump.
Jump? What do you mean, "jump"?
Come on, come on!
-No! -Let's go!
-You'll love it! Just try it. -It's gonna be good! Seriously!
-Why me first! -You can do it, come on.
Because…
-Be the fearless journalist that you are. -See you on the other side.
-Oh my God! This is-- -Let's go.
-Careful. -No!
-You can do it!
One, two, go!
Oh, my god!
All right!
-Are you okay? -Come on!
Like rulers of the jungle…
Where does this road lead to?
Towards Nathulal, for deep-fried goodness, or Deluxe Cinema for morning shows!
Oh, wow! Like The Sperminator?
Good Will Humping!
Pulp Friction!
Punjabi ones are way better.
For example…
Tarzan, The Jungle Man!
-Wow. -And my favorite…
Come To My Haystack!
Haystack meaning?
Haystack means "bed."
Come To My Haystack!
-Come on, let's go. -Bed means what?
-Where do you want to sleep tonight? -Let's go!
Oh!
Oh God!
That's what I'm talking about!
-Nice one. -Isn't this used to ward off monkeys?
Yes, but today it shall be used for female monkeys.
One more.
Fuck expectations!
Fuck samosas!
Fuck binding relationships.
All right, let's do this.
Fuck you, Shashank.
Fuck you, Varun.
Fuck all you men!
Okay, not Arjun, actually.
-Okay. -This is fun.
Come on.
Go, Dee.
Okay, fuck.
Fuck potholes.
Fuck mosquitoes.
Fuck all those coward editors who won't hire me.
Fuck me, 'cause I'm the biggest coward of them all.
-I can't, I can't. -Hey.
-You did good. -It's okay.
-I can't, sorry. -Don't worry.
It's okay.
Come on, Sids.
Fuck you, universe!
Fuck you for taking my dad way before it was his time!
Sids, use the gun.
Come on, you can do it, Sids. You got this. Come on.
-Raise it up, come on. -Sids, come on.
Just aim and shoot.
Oh fuck!
-Sids! -Sids, oh my goodness!
-Are you okay? -Are you okay?
-Damn.
-Are you hurt? -What are you doing!
-Bro, you good? -Sid!
Are you hurt? Are you good? What's happening?
-What is going on even? -Oh fuck!
What did…
-What the hell is going on with her? -I don't know.
Look up, I'm living in the clouds now
Check your clock it's my time now
I created my own paths
No one can take my place
I follow my own rules
I have only one principle Which I don't break
I don't bow down in front of anyone
Staying simple doesn't suit me
I don't listen to anyone, I do my own
I worked only towards my vision
Check my story, my life has been hard
Try and stop me All I see is my mission
Look up, I'm living in the clouds now
Check your clock it's my time now
I created my own paths
No one can take my place
Show you how I like it
I'm my own vibe
Look up, I'm living in the clouds now
Check your clock it's my time now
Bit fast can you ride that?
They don't know me I'm coming right back
In my zone, don't say anything I'll give you vibe check
Open your eyes See who's standing, stay aside
The race is long, even I know
I'm in form that's why the time has come
I work all night cause It's a new day tomorrow
I have made my own place
I don't listen to anyone, I do my own
I worked only towards my vision
Check my story, my life has been hard
Try and stop me, all I see is my mission