Where do lovers go when love is gone?
A part of them stays with us even after they leave us.
Unshakable ghosts we carry around with us wherever we go.
Can two people who truly love each other be torn apart?
Sids…
You need to throw punches, not pom-poms!
But I was going for a punch!
You need to have a session with Sean, please.
Gladly. He's so hot!
What? It's called motivation, Mangs.
-Okay, who's next? Please. -Okay, who's next?
-Not me! -Sorry, no.
Try me!
Hi, Meher! What are you doing here?
Just followed your recommendation.
Love it.
-Hi! -Hi!
-Meher. -I'm Meher.
Sorry, yeah. Anjana, Damini, this is Siddhi, my business partner.
Meher, of course, is my client.
Your student.
Suggest a good drink?
That depends on what poison you choose.
What's your poison?
On special days, vodka shots.
I'll just go figure my drink.
See you around?
-See you! -Bye!
-Bye, nice to meet you. -Bye.
-What?! -She's stalking you.
Are you insane?
She "followed your recommendation" or just followed you?
-Sis, this is what stalking means. -Yes!
Guys, chill out.
She's a cool lady. She's had a tough life.
Be easy.
Just don't let her make your life tough, though.
Why would I do that?
Because we are all capable of making amazingly stupid decisions sometimes.
Guys, she's single. I'm single.
She's come out of a terrible marriage,
and me, from a bad breakup.
As you know. We're good.
Okay, if you say so.
I'm gonna go check on her.
And grab your poison!
Let them say what they want Like I care
I will do whatever I want
A little attraction And then some action
Hello Mister, how do you do
Mr. Bartender please
Shake it baby shake a drink for me
Gimme four more shots For me and my ladies
Let go of formalities
Gimme Four More Shots Please
There's no time to waste now
Gimme Four More Shots Please
Gimme four more shots please
Could someone please explain to me what a "non-date" is?
As it is, there is a severe shortage of normal dates.
I get dates only in one format.
DD-MM-YY.
And on the other hand, my mom's scoring non-dates!
Okay. I'm gonna ask you.
Tell me, has any one of your moms been on a non-date?
Don't talk about my mother!
What's wrong, sir? I didn't say anything offensive.
Everyone's free to date.
Your mom, as well as mine.
Unless, of course, you think women over the age of fifty
should just close their hearts.
And their legs!
Who said that? Did you hear that?
That's what patriarchy sounds like.
Can I see you, please?
Here we go, another feminazi lecturing everyone.
We're still waiting for you to tell us something funny.
If my jokes are beyond your IQ level, then it's not my problem, okay?
-What?! -Bloody ass!
Please record this. She just called her audience member an ass.
-What else should I call an ass? -Please record this.
What are you going to do? Go ahead and record it!
You wanna put it on Twitter? Go on.
#NotAllMen.
Everyone, please stop. The show is over.
Fuck you!
Please go back!
Calm down!
Fuck you! Fuck you motherfuckers!
Who do they think they are? What the fuck?
Let go of me!
-Can you calm down? -I am calm!
If that is calm, then I am the Queen of Patiyala.
I am calm, okay?
Cool.
What the fuck, Umang!
When Indians say "fuck" too much, they seem so wannabe.
Well then, what should I say? Love-making?
Bodily relations? A union?
Siddhi, what's happening?
I am being yelled at, heckled and being manhandled. That's what's happening.
No, we mean why are you so angry?
If it happened to you, what would you do?
You're a stand-up comic, turn the insults into jokes!
Use it as material!
Easier said than done. And you don't know shit.
You can't even get a punchline right.
-Sids? -Siddhi, listen.
-Let's just sit and talk, please? -Talk about what?!
How my father has died and my mother is rediscovering her twenties
as if he never existed!
Sids, it's all gonna be fine…
How do you know that?
Exactly.
These bullshit platitudes, "it's all gonna be fine,"
"time heals all" etc. only look good on greeting cards.
Keep in mind
You'll be alright
I'm done for today, man. I'm just…
Take your time
-Hey. -You okay?
Walk me back to the bakery?
Sure.
I'll give you a treat.
With our eyes closed,
our senses become sharper.
Now, open your mouth.
Lemon?
Yes, it is.
Ready?
-White butter? -No.
I'm sorry, I'm totally messing this up.
-You'll get this one. -I am so bad at this!
What is that? That's shit!
Also called olive tapenade?
I actually like this. I had it with Siddhi once.
Wow!
I guess I really need to see my food.
I'm sorry. I completely ruined your experiment.
The experiment is still on.
How so?
I'm sorry…
Oh shit…
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for my Eat-Pray-Love type notions.
I'm really sorry that was so silly. I'm sorry…
Meher, Meher…
It's not silly.
I feel the tension
In the silence
I see your eyes
Begging for more
I've been alone for
Too much time and
I don't gotta be
Lonely no more
Hold me slowly
Like I'm your one and only
Light up the dark With our beating hearts
'Cause love isn't easy to find
I'm going in blind
Now, show me the way
I'm going in blind
I don't want to wait
Movin in rhythm
Taking and giving
Show me the way
'Cause love isn't easy to find
I'm goin in blind
Show me the way
Movin in rhythm
Taking and giving
Show me the way
'Cause love isn't easy to find
I'm goin in blind
Varun, please, come out.
I have no interest in seeing you take a dump.
Anj, just come in!
Varun.
I'm in the zone, baby!
Like, I'm in the zone.
One, I'm not your baby…
and two, this is a bathroom and not your study.
Get out.
But this place really gets me flowing.
This inspiration…
-The bathroom? -No, Anj, this house!
With you two.
You're welcome, I'll send you the bill. Now please get out, Varun. Please.
Okay, do you know?
I wrote the first act of the script in the last two days!
It's a freaking' miracle, man!
Wow.
What's the story?
The story you wanna know?
Please…
You can read it after the first draft is done.
Can you please come out and finish your first draft?
I still have to go to work to get paid.
-I'll shoot you. -Var--
I'll shoot you.
Everything, give it everything, man! Let's go!
Nice.
-Nice! -Ma'am…
-Yes? -She's here to meet you.
-Hi! Thanks… -Hey.
Hi, do we have a session or something?
No, I'm Tara, Meher's daughter?
Oh, Tara, hi! Nice to meet you.
So nice to meet you.
You know Mom keeps talking about you like, all the time.
Honestly, I was beginning to feel a little insecure.
My mom is my best friend, you know.
Yeah, she said so.
And the last thing I want is for her to get hurt.
You know? She's been hurt enough already.
I saw that she was so happy, and she's really into you so…
Just take care of her, will you?
Welcome to the family?
That poor junior lawyer.
You had him so confused…
he must've considered going back to law school.
And the way you jumped his boss?
I thought you were going to punch him.
I was about to.
But then I realized he might punch me back.
And I can't let anything happen to this perfectly chiseled jawline now, can I?
Are you seriously complimenting yourself?
Not like you throw any compliments my way, Ms. Menon.
So I do the job myself, okay?
Okay, fine.
You have really great handwriting.
What?
You don't let your guard down for even a second.
I'm just glad that we're in sync again.
The clients are happy, billable hours are up.
What a relief!
Bose-Menon are the best professional team in history since Gandhi-Nehru.
And I think we should seal this with a selfie. Alright.
No, should I move this back?
Can't get you…
I think I might have to take the trip across
the cold Atlantic Ocean for this one.
But you don't have a visa.
You shall be deported.
Diplomatic passport, ma'am. I come in peace.
I think this is better.
One, two, three…
And we still look good together.
And it's time for your Transatlantic swim back!
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Tara loved you.
She's nice and…
she loves you.
Let's go to the Maldives.
I'm serious.
Just imagine.
All day, sun, sand, sea, sex.
I don't even have the money to go to Goa right now and…
It's on me, Umang.
Come with me to the Maldives.
It's my dream.
I'll take care of everything.
Okay, everything set?
She's come!
-Surprise! -Surprise!
Oh, my god!
Aarav!
Hi, baby!
How come he's here?
Kavya's mom dropped him off.
Hi!
Aarav and I played games and then Dada and I made dinner.
-Pasta la Vista! -Pasta la Vista!
Please, come sit right over here, madame.
Welcome to our ristorante.
-And-- -Thank you.
We have the Pasta la Vista,
we have the salad, because you love the salad.
Pasta sauce made my madame Arya.
And also the salad dressing. She's the master chef.
-Please, sit. -So proud of you.
And?
I also mashed apples for Aarav.
You are my big little girl.
I love your hats! Who made those?
-Oh, yeah… -Arya, of course!
Ma'am, the state of the kitchen…
looks like someone dropped an atom bomb.
Of course, dropping atom bombs is the only thing I know.
-I agree. -Forget about it!
You both. Come, let's eat now!
So I said, "Arya,
a rumble in the tummy means it's poopy-time."
So I went into the potty and then…
I pooped.
And at the same time,
-Dada needed to poop! -Oh God!
So we both were pooping in different bathrooms.
-Oh God! -And calling out to each other!
-Poopy la Vista! -Poopy la Vista!
And then what happened?
And then, Aarav pooped in his diapers.
-Really? -It was so stinky!
So stinky!
It's like one big poopy family.
Hope, you changed his diaper?
Ms. Kavya is here.
Kavs…
Kavya, hi.
-Come, join us. -Yeah, please--
Is Aarav's diaper bag ready?
The diaper bag is…
-I'll get it. -I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I don't want to spoil your family dinner.
-Hi, baby! -Pookie Auntie!
Dada is going to stay here forever, why don't you send Aarav too--
Arya stop talking nonsense!
Come on.
-Kavya. -Kavs…
Kavs, come on…
Listen. Just have a conversation. Please.
I don't understand how you can cut me out of your life like this.
You got what you wanted.
Your old family.
Come on, Kavs.
-What's up? -I was thinking.
-What were you thinking about? -The future.
-You ever think about that? -All the time.
-And? -The elections are in six months.
I feel I really need to push Dhananjay's image out there.
You know?
He has a real chance at winning.
Politics seems to really suit me, right?
Who would've thought?!
During the last couple of months…
it's made me feel so alive again, you know?
Made me, me.
You know?
I meant about us, but, yeah…
Right, of course. Oh, my God!
Of course!
Jeh, but…
You're the one who's not moving in.
-Hi. -Hey, guys!
-Hey. -Nice spot. Hi!
Hi.
I'll send over the usual.
Sorry about exploding the other day.
Chill, girl. It happens to the best of us.
Be as cranky as you want.
Bra code.
-Anyway, Dee? -Yeah?
Everything cool with you and Jeh?
I think we just need to have sex.
Again with the sex band-aid?
Leave it. I'll take care of it.
Which reminds me,
are the words "take care" tattooed on my forehead?
Because it feels like that's what everyone who comes into my life tries to do.
You slept with Meher, didn't you?
Mangs?
Hope it was a one-time thing?
And never to be repeated?
Well I did so willingly, and repeatedly, actually.
She's really nice.
And hot!
Classic rebound.
And I met her daughter.
Actually she came and met me.
It was almost like an ambush.
Are you looking for a relationship with her?
I don't know, man. I just got out of an intense relationship and--
You're suffering from a serious savior complex.
You're always looking for an injured bird to heal.
Sids.
You're my favorite little injured bird though.
And if I change, who's going to heal you?
Fuck off, Mangs.
It was a joke.
That's what you all think my life is, right? A joke?
Feel free to keep laughing. I'm leaving.
-Move! -Sids, it was a joke, like--
Sids!
It was a joke, man.
What's wrong with her?
I just need more wine.
Need another bottle.
There he is!
Hey, bartender!
Another glass of wine, please.
You're on your fourth glass of wine, Damini.
You can check my driver's license if you want.
I'm an adult.
Bosco, wine please!
Thank you!
Tonight's the night, girls!
Take it easy, Dee.
Dee's not easy.
Easy's not Dee!
Hi, baby.
This is what you call a bad bitch
Come on, Damini.
At last.
-I can walk. -Come on. Careful. Don't fall.
Let's dance.
-Damini, it's time for bed, come on. -No!
-Let's dance, come on-- -Come on, it's time for bed.
No, it's not time for bed.
Dancing!
-I'm too tired to dance. -Come on!
Damini, come on.
-Come here. -You're slipping off the bed, Dee.
I'm going to take your shoes off.
It's time for bed, okay? You have to--
Come here, Jeh. Please come…
Dee, it's time for bed…
Dee.
It's time for bed.
Damini. Damini.
-All-- -Dee…
Damini, stop.
-Why? -Not like this.
Why?
-Am I that repulsive? -No, but apparently I am.
Since you need four glasses of wine to have sex with me.
How am I supposed to feel about that?
Wow! So now you're judging me for how much I drink?
No!
You're getting it all wrong.
There's something wrong here, Damini, something…
really wrong.
What?
What's wrong, Jeh?
I don't know, Dee. You tell me.
You're the one who doesn't wanna talk about her feelings.
I did talk about my feelings.
But then Myra interrupted us.
-Myra? -Remember?
That one time?
Why am I held to such inhumanly high standards?
Jeh…
You know what?!
I'm outta here.
What?
Jeh!
Okay. Run away.
Run away just like you always do.
Jeh doesn't do confrontations, right? Jeh doesn't fight,
Jeh's a goody-two-shoes!
Such a good boy! May God protect you from the evil eye!
Jeh…
Jeh?
Jeh!
The number you have called is currently switched off.
-Fuck. -Jeh!
Dhananjay…
No, no, I--
It's nothing, I'm looking for Jeh.
Jeh left to go somewhere.
We had a really bad fight.
Okay bye, I--
I can't talk right now, okay?
Look, I'm…
I'm no expert in relationships, but…
I'm here if you wanna talk.
He wants to talk as well.
And?
No matter how hard I try,
I can't seem to be able to talk to him.
It's almost like my…
brain goes blank when I see him.
Don't you trust him?
I trust him more than I trust myself.
It's just that I've fucked up so much with him in the past…
Are you afraid he'll leave you if…
he knows the real Damini?
You know? I didn't even want a baby.
But then all of a sudden,
I could almost see her.
Smell her, touch her.
Feel her…
It was going to be a girl, obviously.
Obviously.
Every time something good happens in my life,
why does it always go away?
Hey.
You're alive.
You're healthy.
You're smart as hell.
What else can you ask for?
The future is yours.
That's so filmy.
-Straight out of a film poster. -Or a political campaign.
Kinda like, "Yes we can."
The future is yours.
The future is ours.
Should we just make that our slogan?
-You're always working. -As are you.
You just made me laugh, on a night like this.
It's my only real talent.
Mama?
I used to know what you were thinking
Before you said it
-Mama? -But now I can't see a thing
I used to know what we were missing
And I'd fix it
But now I don't know anything
How did we get here
Where were you?
I just needed some time to think.
Get my head straight.
And?
I'm here.
I'm not going anywhere.
And I'm gonna move in at the end of the month.
Good?
'Cause we're lost
Lost my dear
'Cause we're lost
Interior: NLS canteen, day.
There she was in her bright fuchsia kurta.
Her smile as wide as the earth's circumference.
She pours molgapudi on her idli, liberally.
This girl likes things hot.
She takes a bite, tears stream down her face,
she gulps down water, laughs at her own stupidity.
Again, again!
Tarun only has eyes for Sanjana.
He can't help it.
Tarun: Maybe this was my destiny.
Bengaluru, and Sanjana.
Sanjana, and Bengaluru.
'Cause we're lost, my dear
Come here
-You know you can leave, right? -Nah, I'll keep you company.
To handle the vandals.
What was it they wrote?
"Cunty dyke"?
Such atrocious vocabulary.
What would you have written?
I don't know…
The Bitchy Witch.
Please. Hindi profanity just sounds wrong coming our of your mouth.
Profanity is supposed to sound wrong, crotch-fruit.
What? What was that?
What would you write for me?
Like…
"Junkie addict."
Junkie?
Junkie, dope fiend, crackhead number one!
Now my only number one is mushrooms.
But in an omelet.
For me, my mom's parathas.
Yeah, right, and family.
Family equals distance.
-Friends? -Life.
-Love? -Need.
Hey asshole!
I loved her! And love is not a profane word!
-Umang, Umang, stop. -Why don't you understand this?
Hey, stop.
Hey.
Hey!
Let him go.
-Umang! -Hi.
Just in time.
Would you like to try a croissant?
Fresh from the oven.
Meher, can we please talk?
Sure. Try this, though.
It's perfect.
-Thank you. -Just like you.
Meher…
you know, I feel really fortunate to have met you, and…
whoever you end up dating is going to be a lucky girl.
One minute.
So, not you?
-Meher, I just feel-- -Are you…
breaking it off with me?
-Meher, please just-- -Yes, or no.
-Oh. -Meher…
Meher, please try to understand.
Samara's and my wedding didn't get canceled.
I left her at the altar.
-I just need some time. I-- -Umang.
-Can you please leave? -Meher, can you just…
Just leave.
Okay.
Never meant to make you
Collateral damage
But I guess
I did
Didn't know that I had so much baggage
Yeah it ain't an easy fix
I'm no good for someone else
When I'm no good for myself
So I'm on my way I'm on my way
I'm on my way to me
I'm on my way I'm on my way
I'm on my way to me
I follow the road Don't know where it goes
But I know it's what I need so I'm
I'm on my way I'm on my way
I'm on my way to me
I'm so used to burying all of my feelings
Putting my heart second
But this time I'm growing up
And I'm healing
Loving every lesson