Someone stole the sodium nitrate again.
Next time I'll put acid in the bottle.
If they will try to steal it, their hands will burn.
You are Jhaatu right?
Why? Are you a barber?
Oh no, no, sir!
Sir, myself Kenneth Daniel from first year.
Everyone calls me Keeda in hostel.
I'm your huge fan, sir.
Your photo is used like a dick pic in our whatsapp group.
Sir I have heard that, that you have been slapped so much by the dean,
that he burnt his hands.
I have heard a lot about your and your group's scandals.
But Sir, you people are never seen together nowadays.
Students of third year live in hostel, not together.
Why are you lying sir?
There was a time you guys were so close, like an orgy.
In an orgy, you never know when you turn from the fucker to the fucked.
'I thought I'll make the hostel the Planet of the Apes in the third year.'
'But these Darwin's flatterers got evolved.'
'Like that Harambe Ankit.'
'After getting the girl, our DOPA showed us his real face.'
How do I look to you?
I feel like I'm seeing your for the first time.
Oh no.
What happened?
I knew that I would look like a dork in glasses.
Okay listen, we would have to stop meeting a bit.
We need to start preparing for the upcoming midterms.
Why do we have to stop meeting because of exams?
Firstly, we are never on the same page.
And whenever I ask you for pencil, you reply with "our marriage is cancel".
Akku, third year has started.
This is our last chance to explore and try new things.
Both will be occupied with placement preparations next year.
Please.
Okay.
But only if you promise,
that you will only download professor's notes and not 'hot professor's'.
'On one hand, this donkey was trying to become a unicorn,'
'and on the other side,'
'that hippopotamus was trying to make new friends and fit into shark tank.'
Mr. Jhaatu, we are board of members of the startup.
Not carrom board players, that it will be fun with 4 instead of 3 players.
First let the beta version of the app launch,
then we will give you the internship in company.
By the way, can you make good tea?
I can make a good horse too.
You are not beer, you are fruit beer. Anyone will drink and pee it.
How will you run the app without my expertise?
Then tell me, what is the USP of our app?
Casual sex.
Was it combined studies?
They are the same thing. We don't remember anything after doing it.
Did you get abused by Chirag?
Stop laughing and get lost.
'Where he became a poisonous snake who codes on python,'
'on the other hand Nabomita launched her new version as entering third year.'
Hi Nabomita, happy friendship day.
Sorry, Sunil Narayan. Actuall I don't wear friendship bands.
My skin is too sensitive. I get rashes.
-No? -No.
If no friendship band,
Shit, shit.. why do I make such mistakes. I'm so sorry Nabomita.
'The fare doll had become a Barbie.'
'And the jaat guy who used to sell scrap, started reading books.'
Jhaatu brother, I'll not be able to come play today.
I'm running a little late for my class according to my time table.
I have extra class after this class.
And then I have to complete classwork
and homework after watching a master class.
You class-ist, get lost.
You also break this Jai-Veeru's bonding.
You can't make a buffalo's tail turn into
a peacock's feather by putting it into a book.
Jhaatu brother, you are not Jai-veeru anymore,
you have become Prem uncle of hostel.
And anyway, no one wants to live in this hostel forever.
If I want to change my future after getting out,
then I have to change everything now.
Otherwise,If I fail,
my mornings would just be straws and Siddhu Moosewala's songs.
Any way, one Jhaatu is enough for this hostel.
I'm going to the classroom.
I don't know how I've wasted my 2 years with these fools?
But no more.
This year, I'll do something different.
He will. He will try to do something different.
He's in third year.
Look, in hostel the first year comes like a honeymoon period.
Full of excitement.
The juniors come in second year, so they feel better.
But in third year comes the hostel's mid-life crisis.
Like the candle flutters before extinguishing,
person trembles before dying,
engineer bubbles up after entering third year
to find a new experiment in their hostel life.
Someone gets in finding compassion in love,
or someone starts to find passion in life.
Someone gets a taste of studying for the first time, or the hiccup of politics.
Now, who is more serious in their experiment
differs from student to student.
But, let me tell you how serious they are about engineering.
Did you hear, the mass recruiter won't come this year.
[People speaking in unison]
Hello, Pinky. Say yes to Daddy. I'm ready to be a at-house son-in-law.
Hello, Mom? Your hearing problem can't be treated anymore.
Hello? Dr. Baldev Chaddha? What is the rate of 3 litre sperm in the market?
Ask brother to go to Thailand as a sister.
Hello? Are you from TVF?
Hello? Why are you not listening Mom?
If I don't become an engineer, I'll fuck you up before leaving campus.
I was just joking. Recruiter is coming.
He is coming.
Joking?
I'm sorry Sir. I respect you a lot, Sir.
Happy Teacher's Day, Sir.
Give this to a poor person from my side.
[Song playing on radio]
Thank you.
-There is Jhaatu. -Come on, come on.
Hold him. Hold. Hold.
You stole equipment from college's lab?
You Walter White. Today Sherdil brother will deal with you.
Oh God, who kept these in my bag, I didn't even know.
But I know.
Sorry Jhaatu sir, I'm a big fan of yours.
But I'm an even bigger fan of Sherdil brother.
And you know, when a bug goes into your butt, it pains a lot.
When bug goes into the butt, it doesn't pain.
So brother Sherdil was wrong?
Who is this Sherdil brother?
I'm Sherdil.
Boy's hostel's brother and girls hostel's... brother too.
There was a time,
when even the most strict police officer used to pee after looking my face.
I used to collect urine sample in the village's clinic.
There I learnt, you can know a man's health from his urine.
And by the look of you it feels that the whole hostel has diarrhea.
What is the point?
The main piece of information is described as a point.
Stop asking me unnecessary definitions and come to the point.
All your friends have left you and moved ahead.
Stop breastfeeding these snakes keeping them close to your chest.
You need to do something new.
Something that raises a storm in the whole hostel.
So come and join our party.
Storm, thunderstorm, holocaust, inferno.
The Adult Power Party. Tapatap Party.
-Tapa! -Tap!
Am I an interest that I'll just integrate with you?
You don't know me.
I not only know you but also all of your secrets.
Few years back, on the day of Diwali,
Hostel's boys were lighting bomb in their hands.
And to look cool there, you lit the bomb in your underwear.
After that incident, your pubes stopped growing.
And since then, people call you Jhaatu.
Sherdil brother, I'll work with you.
But outside this hostel...
Okay, outside this city, no one should know about this.
Please.
-You know how Jhaatu's name got Jhaatu? -Hey, stop.
He lit a bomb in his underwear and his pubes burnt down.
-His penis would also would have gotten away. -Stop, please.
Brother, please stop.
Please don't tell.
Asshole, stop.
Ankit, come on.
It's morning. Get ready for the class.
I'll be ready.
First you moan for a bit.
Okay.
Jaat, please switch it off.
Are you going to milk a buffalo this early in the morning?
You scared my sweet, cow-like Akanksha.
The Batman who used to stay all night, also got left by his girlfriend.
She was Rachel.
But she did end up with a lawyer only,
whose attendance was 100% in class.
You should also be regular in class. Your attendance is lagging.
You go and become Sundar Pichai.
I'm happy in chasing beauty.
Classroom is also a beauty. You should come and look sometime.
Hey, what are you guys laughing at?
Nothing, this girl Nabomita. She keeps sending us lame jokes.
Rohan, your new bike gives a mileage of 85 right?
How do you both know Nabomita?
She was in chemistry lab with us.
Since then we know that she is naturally unfunny.
But how sexy. Look at the model.
You know, in the last rain she fell in the gutter.
I picked her and took her home.
Your bike?
Nabomita.
You are right. She loses a little control and jumps on any guy.
Dilip, what nonsense you are talking?
Bro, I'm talking about his bike.
She might look high maintenance in photos,
but she's very common in real life.
Your bike?
Nabomita.
But she is sensitive. If you touch her a little, she runs away.
Yes, I'm still talking about the bike, Chirag.
But if you find it so nice, then let's take her for a ride tonight.
Let's go.
Bike or Nabomita?
Both.
-Nabomita, Nabomita? -Yes?
I wanted to talk to you about something important. What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'm with Rohan.
-And day after tomorrow? -Day after tomorrow I'll be with Dilip.
And after that?
After that Rohan and Dilip will be with me.
When will you be free?
I'm free now, but for two minutes. Rohan and Dilip are coming.
Nabomita, Rohan and Dilip are not good boys. You please stay away from them.
What are you saying?
Nabomita, Rohan and Dilip are not good boys. You please stay away from them.
God, Chirag.
You know, everyday a guy comes and tells me Chirag is so dumb.
But I know that they are lying,
but I had no idea you too will be jealous like them.
Who are those guys?
Why are you doing this?
You know, there was a time when I used to be scared to even talk to boys.
First, it used to be one sided love, then friendship and then problems.
This year, I'm trying something new.
You know, I'm trying to be comfortable with male friendship.
And I'm lucky that I found such true friends like Rohan and Dilip.
Also, I know the difference between creepy and caring very well.
So, please. Don't act like my father.
-Nabo? Nabo? -Keep quiet.
Dumb! You broke her heart.
Are you that guy?
Hey!
Phata Phat, Ghapa ghap, everyone say, Tapa?
Everyone say, Tapa?
Are you reading your mother's wedding card?
Fuck!
Mid-sem exams start tomorrow?
Didn't you check notice board?
Why did you check notice board?
He wanted paper for crushing, so he brought the whole notice board.
Fuck, what will we do now?
In the village, even the big shot couldn't sit in front of me.
There was no middle rod in my cycle.
But then I realized a man sits,
where he gets support.
And I have decided to not appear for any exams.
In fact, I'll try that apart from tomorrow's exam,
fifth semester's every exam should be cancelled.
We will protest that when we didn't study at all the whole year,
then why should we pollute the environment
wasting these pencils and papers.
Yes.
And the name of this revolution will be.
Green.
Green Revolution.
How do you think about these Sherdil brother?
He doesn't think at all.
-Tapa! -Tap!
Ankit, 7 chapters are left.
You can't make a diagram of heart.
Try on the other hand.
If you want to decorate hands,
then why are you wasting your parent's money here?
Every red thing is romantic to you?
Bring your cheek forward, let me do some coloring there.
If you touch my stationary ever again, then I will refill this with your blood.
Jaat we were just...
Forgive me sister-in-law,
but coming to in-laws frequently before marriage doesn't look good.
I'm going back to hostel.
Sorry brother.
Why is he so quiet since the morning?
He has took an oath of silence to pass in exams.
But today is viva, right?
Hi. Did you sleep well?
I was doing something.
What were you doing?
Give me your hand?
Oh, All the best.
Ankit?
This has answers to all the important questions.
I stayed up all night to get the micro ready.
Now if you want to thank me then give me your other hand too.
Ankit, this is disgusting.
You should know that Akanksha Pechkas Thakur never cheats
and doesn't let anyone cheat.
Wait a minute, uncle's name is Pechkas?
No no, it's nice.
But Akku, if we don't cheat then how will we pass?
Like everyone does.
-Great, by making chits. -By studying!
Akku, we don't get time from each other, when will I study?
Wait a minute, are you telling me that you didn't study because of me?
No, I didn't mean that.
Don't make me the reason of your laziness.
And it was your idea to study together, not mine.
Ankit, if I can study in this relationship, you can too.
I don't like cheaters.
Not in relationships, and not in exams.
Chits.
"We will cheat."
Nude. Why are you getting naked?
Listen. She is crying.
Nabomita, why haven't you made an account on our application yet?
If you will join then other girls will also join.
Then more boys will join, traffic will increase.
Listen, I will make a nice account.
Give me your phone. Please.
Nabomita, please give your phone.
[Indistinct TV playing]
Brother, please bring me the water.
Make me do everything.
I'll bring.
'Are you scared seeing the gun? Come.'
'Bird...'
'Don't know whether there is bullet in the gun or not?'
'Hey Green t-shirt, this is real gun. Scoundrel.'
'Then shoot.'
-'Come on shoot.' -'Show me.'
'Yes. Come on shoot.'
'Shoot.'
'I'll tell both you. Wait.'
'Sir. No, no.'
What the fuck, Rohan?
What happened Nabomita? What happened?
Rohan just tried to kiss me.
Rohan are you dumb?
You know she's crazy for me. What are you doing?
One second, when did I say I like you?
Exactly. She likes me, not you.
I'm really sorry.
What the fuck is happening? When did I say I like either of you?
When did you say you like either of us?
Guys, why are you ruining this?
We are friends, right?
Nabomita, the app which I have made for third year college project,
I have took funding for it's first round of BETA version.
You seriously thought that a shark like me,
would only be interested in friendship with you?
Neither you are smart, nor interesting.
And funny, not at all.
We are tolerating your madness just because you are hot.
So, you guys never thought of me as a friend?
I did, but his.
I was sure, you won't be able to resist me.
And if you didn't want to hook up,
then why are you coming in my dreams since 3 months?
You wasted our time, Nabomita.
-Right. -This is not cool.
It's all your fault.
Not my fault.
I was telling you we should flirt with Akanksha.
Her standards are so low, that she got with Ankit.
Why do you update for me, this doesn't grow at home.
Why should I sit for exams, when I don't know shit?
Don't know. Don't know.
We will stain the shirt of the invigilator.
We will burn the whole education system.
We will burn!
-Brother? -We will burn it!
Put out the fire.
Today education system will be burnt down.
Do hell with education system,
you burnt my shoes worth Rs 5000.
Put it out.
Nabomita, if you are free after exams today, can we chill?
I have tobacco. The one which is bad for health.
There is so much tar in it. Please come with me.
Sunil Narayan, I don't smoke.
Is it? Are your lungs also sensitive? They might get rashes?
Get lost or I'll complaint.
Complaint will be yours, regarding the type of photos you are putting.
If you have so much attitude,
then why did you write on the app, feeling lonely, call me for fun.
Shit, what app?
The app which your best friends are making.
I could have wasted my tobacco at the wrong place.
Nirjala?
Hey?
Are you mad? Look, I will viral this video.
Please. Nabomita please give me your phone.
-From exam seat? -Freedom!
-From marksheet? -Freedom!
-From extra sheet? -Freedom!
-We will take. -Freedom!
What are you doing here?
This is our work place. Friends are not allowed here.
Guys, enough. Delete my photo from the app.
Sorry. That's against our policy.
I'm warning you. I'll complaint the fuck out of you guys.
Then do it.
Your data, shot from your phone.
And got uploaded from your phone.
In which, you uploaded my semi naked picture.
So you go and complaint soon, so that I can complaint about you.
I...
Chirag?
Delete the photo.
Sorry. I can't.
I told you stay away from them. They are bad boys.
Really Chirag? Is this a time to say I told you so?
-Just delete it. -He can't delete.
Rohan has content control. Chirag doesn't.
Yeah, he's right.
I can't delete the photos, because I have deleted the app.
-What? -Oh fuck!
-Chirag are you dumb? What did you do? -Fuck!
Did you take backup?
Rohan, revive the app please.
-Oh brother. -Shit, shit.
I'm trying to revive it.
Let me try.
Chirag, you dumb. You wasted our 4 months of hard work.
That too for her. She's a waste of time.
First she wasted our time and now yours.
You see, she'll friend zone you too.
Nabomita can't friend zone me.
Why.
Because Nabo...
is my sister.
Let's go Nabo.
Wait a second, I am not your sister.
Lament, lament.
-Exam paper? -Lament it.
-End semester? -Lament it.
Brother, brother.
Get lost.
Move on.
Stop, stop.
Get up.
Come brother, come.
-Let's leave soon. -Stop here. Stop
-Let's go, it's getting late. -Jhaatu, we're getting late.
Let's go.
Here. ID card.
Wear this too. If professor sees your face, you'll face the music.
Pen? What am I asking?
This pen and this extra pen.
And listen, mark every answer in MCQ as 'A'.
And don't leave any question blank.
And if you don't understand anything,
then close your eyes and think about your parents. Every thing will be all right.
Don't know where you stay alone?
He has become a big politician now. Tapa Tap!
Jhaatu, you should spend some quality time with your friends. Now go.
Go now give the exams. All the best.
Do something for me too.
You three are the dumbest people.
Enough, now. Go.
Write your name as Jatin Kishore not Jhaatu.
That's a good advice.
-Will you smoke? -Yes, let's go.
People ask that when every graduation course
in the world gets completed in 3 years.
then why does engineering takes 4 years?
Look, other courses only offer the kids studies,
but engineering gives the option to do a lot more than engineering.
It lets these dumb people the opportunity to fail in their experiments.
And like these opportunities, this extra third year of hostel daze is filled up.