Rebecca: You promise you like your gift?
Previously, on this is us...
The towel? It's absolutely terrible.
(Babies crying)
Jack: He said you just go up and over
and burrito him.
They'll be in college soon.
Your highness.
Need to find you a crown.
♪ ♪
we're pretty good together.
Kevin: These L.A. actors,
they come out here, right? They do their little stint
in theater just to feel better about themselves.
I'm here for the right reasons. Let's get this over with, shall we?
You got the part. Wait, I'm sorry. What?
They think the nanny will sell tickets.
I did everything wrong by you,
and you've done everything right.
Look. It's Kevin.
Randall: Yo.
This is my biological father.
Wow. Well, that probably is gonna be
a longer conversation, but it's good to meet you.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Announcer: Long signal pass.
Baltimore hopping out of an eight man front.
Namath throwing deep.
Sauer, gets wide, get it,
he was there.
He had an inside step on Lenny Miles...
Beer.
Mommy.
Rebecca, you and your sister
need to play somewhere else.
Your father's trying to watch the game.
(Fridge door closes, top pops)
...rick volk, number 21,
uh, coming with a fake
safety blitz and he goes up top.
So that, um, is in pretty good...
He doesn't get all the glory of rocky bleier
or Franco Harris, but he's been a great...
♪ You are my easy love ♪
Jack.
Jack!
Yeah. (Sighs)
Sorry. (Chuckles)
No. I refuse to be my mother
staring at my father as he stares at the television.
Okay. Mm-hmm.
I think Cincinnati's looked a little tired...
So teach me.
Teach me football.
Jack: We got an offensive line...
Mm-hmm. ...Defensive line. Quart...
End zone, end zone. End zone, quarterback...
There's bradshaw straight back...
Rebecca: You suck, bradshaw!
Come on, man. Babe...
The man has three super bowl rings.
Give him a break. Yeah, he also
had Franco wide open in the flat.
You're a freakin' bum, bradshaw.
You're a freakin' bum.
Typical bradshaw.
Super bowl!
(Grunts) Mm! Mwah!
Oh. (Giggles)
Time to tailgate! Oh, already?
Yeah, babe. I got to move. Froggy's wants me to sing
at their pre-game party.
Super bowl Sunday? Yeah.
Biggest crowd of the whole year.
And we get to drink for free. Oh, yeah.
So be there early, okay?
I'll be there before bradshaw even begins
warming up his old noodle arm.
Whoa. Easy on bradshaw, babe.
Uh-huh. Not in this house.
That's my girl. Hmm.
Are Miguel and Shelly gonna make it?
Yeah. They're gonna meet us there, you know,
depending on if they can get a babysitter,
and one that doesn't show up completely
stoned out of her gourd this time.
Why do people have kids? (Chuckles softly)
No idea.
♪ ♪
(blender whirring)
(Whirring stops)
All right. (Chuckles)
You okay?
Stop.
Randall, wake the hell up.
You almost put a chemo pill
in your shake.
Oh.
(Sighs) Uncle Kevin,
why are you writing in your book?
Play, sweetheart. It's a play,
and the director wants me doing scene work.
You seem to be doing a lot of writing.
Well, I seem to be getting a lot of direction, William.
Tell you what. You got a great voice.
You ever do any voice-over work?
Well, you should.
Really. I mean, you could be a...
Like a... like a... Like an owl in a pixar movie,
right? (Laughs) Yeah.
No offense. Not sure why I would take offense to that.
Oh, I don't do blueberries.
Me neither. Since when?
Since now. Kevin: Yeah.
It's not the taste, right?
It's the texture of the skin, it's gross.
Yeah. I don't want blueberries either.
Yeah. Understood. Uh, any other dietary restrictions
I should let the staff know about?
No, man. You're busy. I'll just, you know,
I'll make a list for you later when I get some time.
Thanks, buddy.
(Laughs softly)
You need to put something in your stomach, William.
Toast, pills, juice. That's the order. Okay?
Is that medicine?
Do you have a cold, grandpa?
Grandpa's fine. No. They're just vitamins.
♪ ♪
(Randall sighs)
Kevin: So.
You, uh, told the girls that he's grandpa,
but not that he's sick. Right?
That's ballsy.
Hey, so, Kevin, uh,
it's been a few days now, you know,
since you showed up. Without calling.
Right. And... and it's great to see you.
I was just sort of wondering...
(Exhales) How do I say this politely?
When are you leaving?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh.
Yeah.
No, I mean, come on. I can, I... I can, um...
I can get out of here whenever. I just... I...
I saw this as an opportunity to hang with you two,
you know, and the girls, but, uh...
Plus I... honestly, this play, guys,
it's kicking my ass a little, you know? Mm.
And it's so lonely at that hotel.
I mean, I got this big suite all to myself
but I guess the bigger the hotel room, the emptier it can feel.
You know? I'm sitting there. I got that
800 thread count sheets. I got the endless
minibar snacks. You got the fancy oatmeal soaps,
plush robes and all i can do is sit there
and think about how...
Quiet it is.
We'll take it. What's that?
Uh, the hotel. Beth and I, we'll take it, tonight.
No, Randall. Where are we gonna
get a sitter? No, we got two family members
oh, no, no, no, no, no. Living in our house for free.
One of them played a nanny on TV.
No. No, actually, an au pair.
Technically, I played an au pair on TV.
There's a difference. A lot of people don't know that.
I was... an au pair.
They were gonna call the show,
what au pair, but the...
Manny tested better. I-i can watch the girls.
I'm-a go pack. Okay.
I'm-a go pack right now. Wait.
♪ ♪
(dog barking in the distance)
Good morning.
Hey. Hi.
Breakfast in bed?
Yeah.
What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know.
You've done a lot of really nice things for me,
so I wanted to return the favor.
Oh. By cutting up cardboard into little squares
and putting it in a bowl?
Those are cheese squares.
Oh, yum. Hmm.
Yeah. What's on top?
Oh, hemp seed.
Hemp seeds on top?
Mm-hmm.
Boy, you really buried the lede.
(Chuckles) Now I'm in.
(Laughs) What? You're not
gonna have any nonsense made-up food?
No. Getting weighed at our meeting this afternoon.
You know what?
So am I.
I probably shouldn't eat, either. Damn.
Mm-hmm. Hey, what do you want to do after the meeting?
I was thinking miniature golf. Last time,
I was like, 20 under going into the 18th,
but that little windmill
owns my ass.
I can't. Steelers.
Sunday night football. Hmm.
(Quietly): Saturday night football.
With who?
Oh, no one. Just me.
All right. I'll watch with you. Oh, no.
Thanks, but I'm good.
Seriously?
You'd rather watch by yourself than watch with me?
Yeah. It's my thing.
I have a little ritual. You know? It's my thing.
Well, your thing...
Is sad.
Not to me.
(Sighing): Okay.
Okay. How about this?
You can watch football...
All by yourself,
which is totally normal, but with me.
Toby. Hmm?
This is something that I do alone. Okay?
Sure.
Great. Thank you for being so sweet. Yeah.
Can you bring, like, a bowl of sugar for this?
♪ ♪
♪ and if you give me ♪
♪ weed ♪
♪ whites ♪
♪ and wine ♪
♪ and you show me a sign ♪
♪ I'll be ♪
♪ willin' to be ♪
♪ movin'. ♪
(song ends, whooping, applause)
Thank you. Go, steelers! Whoo!
Thank, God. Can we please watch the game now?
Pat summerall: The rose bowl is back.
Not an empty seat anywhere.
Jack: Hey.
Rebecca: Excuse me. That was amazing.
Ah, yeah? Really? Yeah.
Rebecca: Oh! Shelly, Miguel.
There they are. Hey! Jack: Yeah.
So sorry we're late. It's okay.
Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Miguel: Damn, kids, man. Yeah, we were
just about to head out the door,
and the baby decides to projective vomit
all over little Andy. Yeah.
Almost got me, too. So, what does Andy do?
You know, four years old. Built like a tank.
He slaps the baby.
(Gasps) Right across the face. Pow!
No! Is she okay? Oh, she's fine. Yeah.
But then the baby's screaming bloody murder, I'm screaming
at Andy, and me, standing there, covered in vomit, and I'm like,
Andy, she is a baby.
Like, you literally slapped a baby.
Which really helped, as you can imagine.
Shelly: Of course, then Andy starts crying,
baby's crying, babysitter's crying. Miguel: We need drinks!
We need drinks. We'll be right back.
Rebecca: Okay.
Wow.
Promise me we are never having kids.
(Groans)
I think it's time for shots.
TV sports announcer: Somebody's down.
Announcer 2: 26 is having a tough day.
Captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television
and Toyota.
Announcer: The first half, the rams, surprisingly,
lead Pittsburgh 13 to ten. Miguel: Pathetic.
Can't stop the run.
Oh, and bradshaw sucks!
Oh, no, bradshaw's gonna have
a huge second half, though. Right, babe?
Yeah. Big... Big second half.
Are you okay?
Mm. Fine.
Okay.
Actually, no.
Um, what did you mean before when, uh...
When you said...
(Chuckles): "Promise me we'll never have kids"?
(Chuckles): Oh. I shouldn't have said that.
Yeah, but... you did.
Kind of said it twice today.
And I shouldn't have.
Okay?
Sorry.
You know what we need to be doing?
We need to be feeding
the ball to Franco more, right?
That's... 'Cause we-we never really talk about it.
And I don't want to talk about it now, either.
We always say we're gonna talk about it in the future,
but it's the future now, bec, and I want kids.
Shelley: You know what, we're gonna
go grab another drink at the bar. Okay.
Sports announcer: ...And see how the fans...
Let's go to the ginger man and Paul hornung. (Sighs)
L.A. fans have to be happy, Paul.
Beth: Bedtimes are at 8:00
and 9:00-- that's teeth brushed, in the bed.
8:00 and 9:00. So one Sambuca to chase down the Ambien,
and then lights out, right?
That's too far.
Okay, listen, relax.
We're gonna have a nice,
quiet evening at home. Okay?
The girls are gonna play.
I'm gonna memorize my lines and get off book.
Look, we want to make it clear that we're not normally
in the habit of leaving the girls overnight.
Let alone with two men who probably haven't been
around kids that much.
One of them's best known
for leaving a kid at a fire station.
Oh, my God, please, take care of my babies.
And, please, don't call us.
No, no, call us if you need us. But don't need us.
Oh, one more thing, though, before you go.
So, Tess was the, uh,
the white wine drinker, right?
Annie likes the red 'cause I don't get that wrong.
Piss them off. (Under breath): Thanks.
It's still too far. I can tell by the way you...
Yes. It's a little too far.
He plays too much. It's okay.
He plays too much.
Hey, call us if you need anything.
(Whispering): Don't call us.
So, I have, you know, this-this issue with-with cracker control,
so what I've been finding to be really helpful (Mouthing)
Is if I...
Take the portion
out of the box
and then I put the portion onto the plate
and then I put the box (Whispering): Just pass it.
Away... and then I know...
How... how many crackers
I'm allowed to-to have.
(Whispering): Just pass it.
To h... to have,
so then I know that if-if I'm only allowed
to have ten crackers,
then I have the ten crackers on my plate,
which is fine, but at the same time,
there are other crackers that I like than-than
other crackers. So, I might not like
saltine crackers as much as I like
a cheez-it type cracker,
but so, what I'll do
with the cheez-it type cracker
is maybe put a little bit more on the plate,
but I'm still rationing, so if I have a saltine,
then I might put ten on the plate,
but there might be 20 if it's a cheez-it. (Mouthing)
But I still put the box away. So, i-i mean
i-i think that's... That's a win.
Man: Yeah. (Applause)
(Mouthing)
She was always away on business.
So, I was used to being alone but this, you know, this...
But this was a different kind of alone. She was always away
on business, so i was used to being...
But... So, I was...
She was always away on business, so I was used to being alone,
but this was a different kind of alone.
You know? This-this... Is a different kind of...
I thought you two were watching a movie.
We want to have
a Barbie fashion show.
Oh, cool. That sounds fun.
So, go play Barbie fashion show.
We need you to be the celebrity judge.
Right.
Uh, the thing is I can't
because I got this rehearsal tomorrow
and I really want to be off book, so...
What does "off book" mean?
Off book. Off book means, uh,
means that I know my lines.
So, uh, you, uh...
Have grandpa be the judge.
Grandpa's not a celebrity.
Yeah.
Their logic seems sound.
Thank you.
Okay. Um... tell you what? You want to,
you want to help me? You want to,
you want to read the play with me?
Okay. Yeah. Oh, come on.
Okay. Yeah, let's do that.
Come on, over here. William,
let's do it. I'm not much of an actor.
Oh, doesn't matter. I just need
to get the lines down, so...
All right, Tess, we'll start with you.
Uh, you're gonna be Jessica, David's wife.
Why does she get to be Jessica?
(Chuckles) Well, um, be...
Oh, because you're Gracie, okay?
Gracie's Jessica's mom, which is kind of cool.
It means you get to boss your sister around.
How's that sound?
So. William, multiple questions.
First one, I'm not gonna lie to you,
it's a little delicate. Go ahead.
Do you know how to read?
Yes, I can read.
I knew it. I was joking.
Of course you know how to read. (Chuckles)
Trying to be funny. Okay. So if you
could please read the role of Brad.
Terrific, okay. Whoa, where we going?
I have to pee.
Oh, I kind of do, too.
What are you... oh, good God. (Chuckles)
Mm.
Now, this is what
I'm talking about.
Okay, babe, here's the plan.
Sex first.
Right away.
Loud, adult,
no kids in the next room sex.
And it doesn't have to be marathon sex.
We just need to get the job done.
And under no circumstances are we allowed
to fall asleep afterwards watching house hunters.
Don't want to miss the whole night sleeping. Right?
Ooh.
We'll do it in the shower.
That's good.
Won't fall asleep in the big fancy shower.
And we'll order room service before.
That way we will finish our loud adult shower sex
just as room service arrives and we will slip on robes
and eat burgers... No, wait-- spaghetti.
No, I like burgers better.
We will eat burgers in bed.
Ooh.
Oh. Now, the big question is...
What to order on pay-per-view.
Oh, I already hope they, uh, I hope they have that
huge grant-meryl streep movie that sounds like a black lady.
Come on. Florence foster Jenkins.
Baby, they already got Florence foster Jenkins.
I'm late.
I'm a week and a half late, Randall,
and I feel like crap.
And I was chewing on ice all day yesterday
and I almost threw up when I looked at pizza
and I cannot bring myself to go to the drugstore
and get a pregnancy test.
I'm bugging out, baby.
I need you to talk me down.
Oh.
Hey, how are you? Hey, good.
Come on in. We got carrots, celery,
broccoli, no dip. You're welcome.
Thank you, that's so nice.
Oh, and, uh, Kate, this is my good friend, shooter.
Shooter, Kate. Hey.
Nice to finally meet you, Kate. Hi. Nice to meet you, too.
Great news. You both love sports, so...
Sports party.
Al Michaels: ...And the Kansas City chiefs on Sunday night football.
Commentator: Bradshaw drops back.
Bradshaw's got time...
(Crowd exclaims)
So, what do you think, Jack?
Looking like it's gonna come down to the fourth quarter.
You want to do this now? Okay. Let's do it.
So...
I am not enough for you.
Am I not enough for you, Jack?
Okay, back to the bar? Yup.
I never said that. I just meant
we need to have this conversation at some point. Okay.
And you want to do that right now, at froggy's
during the super bowl? Yes, please don't make us
miss a second of your drama. Could you butt out?
Hey...
Babe,
we joke about it.
We see people with kids and go,
"oh, thank God that's not us."
We joke about it. Right?
Did I not get the joke?
I'm not...
Babe, you're right.
You are right.
And coming from the family that-that I did,
I definitely never saw myself having kids.
Okay. But then I met you.
And, you know, we're j... we're great together
and I love our life.
But the older we get,
the more I think that...
The more I think there's got to be something bigger
than just me and you.
Well, thank you very much for involving me
in this huge invisible change of yours. Huge.
Because you knew when you met me and married me
that I did not want to be one of those women
whose sole purpose in life was to be a mother.
If that's what you wanted, you should have married my mom.
I was thinking more your sister.
Oh. You probably were.
I'm... it's a bad joke. I'm not there yet, Jack.
I'm not there yet.
I am only 29. Almost 30.
I know how old I am! Hey, sid and Nancy, will you two take it outside?
Could you just shut up for a second? Mind your business.
None of us can hear the game over your mouth.
Wow. You got to learn some manners, pal.
You need to control your woman.
You need to watch your mouth. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jack, sit down.
Come here. It's not
worth it.
Jack, sit down, please.
Jack.
(Grunts)
God, Jack. Jack! Jack.
No! No, no, no, no.
(Indistinct chatter)
Yeah,
we should really be having kids.
(Low, indistinct conversations)
Aren't you gonna say anything?
Uh, yeah. Like, how?
You take the pill every day like clockwork, right? Yeah.
What, did I accidentally drop one in my shake or something?
No. I...
I mean, I changed medications last month
and there might have been, like, a brief window.
A brief window?
Sorry.
A brief window, Beth?
Did it not occur to you that that might be something
you want to run by your husband? Well,
I didn't know it was gonna be a problem.
Well, there goes Charleston.
Okay, I'm sorry, what?
Ten years from now, when the girls are both off at college,
I thought that we would take an early retirement in Charleston.
Oh, forgive me, Randall,
but what in the holy hell are you talking about?
Since when do you want to move to Charleston?
I saw something about it on CNN.
Like, they got a great quality of life, good restaurants.
Sometimes at work, i look up places on zillow.
Oh, okay. Well, I'm so sorry that I'm screwing with
your super top secret Charleston dream, honey.
No, my issues are nothing compared to yours.
Nobody's saying that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, here's a riddle--
who has two hands and was about to go back to work full-time
and maybe, maybe... Start to remember who she was?
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
But now will have to split her time
between a diaper station and a home office?
This girl, right here.
It's two thumbs. What?
You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to say
"what has two thumbs and is mm-mmm, mm-mmm.
Gonna be splitting time betw..." Shut up.
Okay, that's real nice, Beth.
Hey.
Also, some altoids. Please.
Shooter: Look at that picture.
That is a vivid picture.
I feel like I'm at the game.
Announcer: Over across the field, here.
Yeah. It's a really nice TV...
What is this?
Plasma?
Led?
You know, I'm really not sure, but...
Hey, Toby!
Toby: Yeah?
Uh, do you guys like
jicama? Plasma or led?
Toby: I...
Have no idea.
Kate? Jicama? What?
Is that a vegetable or a fruit?
Can... can you actually just move, tob?
Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.
Announcer: The receiver's all set.
To the right, Ben looks straight
over the middle, and going for the end zone!
(TV beeps) Toby: Hey.
Shooter, uh, tell Kate
about that time we accidentally
went to an Ashlee Simpson concert.
(Laughing): Oh... (Toby laughing)
Uh, you got to hear this.
So, we were trying to... I'm sorry.
Toby, you paused the TV.
It's like, paused.
Yeah, just for a second. Listen to this.
No, this is a great story.
No. O-okay,
I know it's not a big deal, really,
but I kind of like to watch sports
as they happen live.
Probably just me, right?
Okay. Okay. Here we go. I don't know.
Announcer: ...Tends to wait... Now we're behind the game!
Fast forward it!
Announcer: Touch down!
And heyward made it all alone down the left side...
That's great. That's your team, right?
That's my fantasy team.
What's that? You know what,
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
I'm actually not feeling good.
I'm gonna go ahead and go.
Oh, no! Yeah...
Are you sure?
Yeah. No, Kate, stay.
Shooter...
It was really nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
What... wait, wait, wait. Seriously,
thank you for the jicama. What...
I'll talk to you later.
What is happening?
You have to let her go, David.
This is crazy, man.
She's gone and she's never coming back.
Whew. (Scoffs)
You really never acted before?
Nope.
Voice like silk.
(Chuckles) Yeah.
How am I supposed to move on, David?
No. I'm David.
How am I supposed to move on, Brad?
And who made you the expert of moving on?
Or the expert of anything for that matter?
Is that how you're gonna do it?
No.
Good.
It's your line. Uh,
Tess, honey, you have the next line, uh...
Pay attention. I-I'd rather
you not move on. I'm--
I'm obv-- I'm obviously not planning to.
It's not good.
Not as easy as it looks, is it?
No. No. Okay.
There she is! Do you see her?
Who, David? Did I see who?
Her! She's right there.
And ever since she died,
her ghost has been haunting me.
Hold up.
What's the matter, sweetheart?
What's happening in this story?
You're not following the story?
Do you follow it?
Of course. Yes, of course I follow it.
Um... (Muttering)
Mm-hmm. She died, right?
She's dead.
But she keeps coming back as a ghost.
So when you die you become a ghost?
No.
No, no, no, no, no. No. Sweetheart, ghosts aren't real.
So what happens when you die?
What happens when you die?
Uh, is... you die.
Forever?
Sure... or not.
I don't know. Honey, here's the thing, you know,
do we want ghosts or do we not want ghosts? Because I can...
Grandpa takes pills because he's sick,
is grandpa gonna die?
(Whispering): Why are you asking me this?
Yes? Yes.
Soon?
Well, you know, I mean,
I wouldn't get too attached if I were you, so... (Clears throat)
No! No, no, no.
That's not what I meant. Look, i-i mean, I meant it,
but I was trying to be fun... It was a joke, okay?
Here's the thing about death, is that it's natural.
It's just natural. I'm gonna die, okay?
You two? You're gonna die.
Mommy and daddy are gonna die.
Mommy and daddy are gonna die? Kevin: No. Uh...
Look, uh, oh, my gosh, wil... It is getting late.
It's bedtime, girls.
William: Come on, girls. Kevin: Yep.
Time to go to bed. Uh, sleep tight.
(Exhales)
Thanks for all the help.
Don't forget to brush your teeth.
(Football game playing on TV)
Wh-when did you guys know you wanted kids?
Uh, about, uh, four months into her first pregnancy.
(Chuckles)
Rebecca thinks that if we have kids,
our lives are gonna be over.
She's right, pal. Yeah.
She's totally right.
You can kiss this life good-bye.
Summerall: Third and eight for Pittsburgh and bradshaw.
What if she doesn't want kids?
Is that really like a, like a deal-breaker?
(Crowd cheering on TV)
(Cheering and whooping)
(Cheering) Yeah!
I got to go find Shelly.
TV commentator: That over the wrong shoulder.
That's one of the great catches you'll ever see.
73 yards.
(Cheering and whooping continues)
♪ ♪
summerall (On TV): And the terrible towels will come out
throughout the rose bowl.
Not much doubt about the best team.
♪ ♪
summerall (On TV): Just been informed
that the mvp for this contest
as picked by sport magazine
and their panel of voters is Terry bradshaw.
This isn't the night i had planned.
I know.
(Sighs)
Shall we look?
Wait. Just, um, let's... let's...
Let's give it like, 30 more seconds.
Okay.
(Sighs)
You'll still be able to work more.
I can work less.
We'll get a nanny.
Or a Manny.
God, no.
You know, if you still want
that vacation house you can... I don't.
It's too much trouble.
Worrying about hurricanes
and whether or not it gets broken into by some kids
using it for their who knows what?
Damn South Carolina punk-ass kids.
You know, a son wouldn't totally suck.
We do make good kids.
That we do, that we do.
The girls will love it.
Oh, they'll go nuts.
Hey. Hmm?
What has two thumbs
and loves his wife so much it hurts?
(Clicks tongue)
Oh, it does work better with two thumbs.
Nah. I like the way you do it.
Mm. Well... I like your face.
Shall we do this?
(Footsteps)
Well, that conversation went sideways, didn't it?
Randall's gonna punch me for that conversation.
I got to go talk to the girls.
Go talk to the girls-- what am I gonna say?
You know, I am clearly not the man
that needs to be talking to them
about the intricacies of life and death.
It's... (Chuckles)
Ah.
(Exhales)
You do that a lot.
I do what a lot?
Doubt yourself.
You were very good, Kevin.
On that show.
You watched the Manny?
Before I came here, i had one old television,
got three channels.
I really liked that program.
And I remember thinking, he's very talented.
I liked the one where you lose the baby.
(Laughing): Oh, geez.
"Manny on fire." Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no. That was a...
That was a strong episode.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I never should have left that show.
I've...
I never should have come here, that's for sure.
Being an Uncle, right, doing theater...
I... I... (Scoffs)
I'm not cut out for theater.
And there you go again.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's easy for you to say, right?
You're the wise owl in a pixar film.
I'm the dopey labrador.
I'm a dying recovering addict.
Yeah, whatever. Yeah, well,
people love labradors.
Said the wise owl.
You want to know what it is?
It's this play, right?
I mean, these people that I'm working with,
wow, they're like next level smart.
I mean, uh, they're brilliant.
And then they look at me like I'm a joke, right?
Which makes me start to think that I am a joke,
and then I start spinning.
I don't even know what the play's about anymore.
Kevin, what did you think it was about when you first read it?
You know, it doesn't ma-- it doesn't matter, it's...
You're just gonna think it's stupid.
Said the dopey labrador.
(Car horns honking, people whooping)
Man: We did it!
(Cheering, whooping)
If it's between you and having kids, you win.
Every time.
No question.
My father,
he loved football more than anything.
Most of the time, he-he pretty much
didn't want anything to do with me.
But... if he was watching football,
he let me sit
and watch the game with him.
As long as I'd sit on the floor
and I didn't talk too much.
I always imagined that when I had kids
that I'd watch the games with them, too.
Except i-I'd let them talk...
As loud as they wanted.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
God, there's nothing wrong with you, bec.
All of my friends my age have kids.
Every single one of them.
And...
Maybe it's 'cause I'm still singing at froggy's
and I'm not as far along as I thought I would be.
I don't know.
'Cause the truth is, when I close my eyes
and I think about our future...
I see us with kids, Jack.
Yeah.
I just...
I love our life.
I love it right now.
And I'm so scared of changing it.
I don't want to change it.
Okay? I'm not gonna stand for anything changing between us.
Okay? What we have together, you and me.
Nothing.
Look, I'm sorry about pressuring you all day.
I just...
I just want you.
(Sighs)
The steelers won the super bowl.
Steelers won the super bowl.
(Sniffles)
Bradshaw won mvp.
My man.
Yes.
I am.
You are.
♪ ♪
hey.
Hey. Okay.
So, uh...
What was all that about today?
I told you I wanted to watch the game by myself.
Then why did you agree to come over?
I don't know.
'Cause I didn't want to...
Seem like a weirdo.
Okay. So, now I know.
No hanging out on Sundays during football season.
I got it. But it's not just about football.
Okay. What's it about then?
Okay. So, growing up,
I used to watch the steelers with my dad.
Right? Every single Sunday,
until I grew up and...
I moved out here and I just got out of the habit.
It wasn't until the 2006 afc championship
when they played the broncos. Do you remember?
No.
Okay. Anyway,
I wanted to watch 'em with my dad.
(Chuckles)
And I did. And they won.
And then they won the super bowl.
And I just...
It's just-just what I do now.
I watch the steelers, and...
I watch 'em with my dad.
He sounds like a cool guy.
I'd like to meet him sometime.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um... All right.
And I know it's gonna be a little creepy.
Uh...
This is your dad?
Jack.
Wow.
I know it sounds crazy and lame,
but football is
a really big part of my family. Like, really big.
Like, I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for football.
I was conceived
in a bathroom during the super bowl.
♪ ♪
(knocking lightly)
Hi.
Sorry if I was a jerk before.
You're really not gonna forgive me?
Okay.
Um...
What if I told you a-a secret
that I've never shared with anyone before?
Hmm? We're listening.
Okay. All right.
But you got to promise not to tell anyone though, okay?
This is a very private thing that I'm sharing with you.
Is this about you dating demi lovato?
Because everyone knows.
No. You know what, it's not about demi lovato,
and we were just friends. I just...
Sometimes I... paint.
Now, no one knows this, not even your aunt Kate,
but... when I get a script, the first thing I do
is just sort of paint the way it makes me feel.
Um...
I painted this
after I read that play for the first time.
So...
I think I scared you before.
Um, all that talk of ghosts and dying.
All that adult stuff we were reading about.
That's some pretty confusing adult stuff.
So, uh, you know,
I thought I would come up here, show you my painting,
tell you what I think my play is about.
Because I was thinking, um,
that it might make us all feel a little bit better.
But you got to promise not to make fun of me, okay?
So, um...
Yeah, I painted this because I felt like the play
was about life, you know?
And life is full of color.
And we each get to come along
and we add our own color to the painting.
You know? And even though it's not very big, the painting,
you sort of have to figure that it goes on forever,
you know, in each direction. So, like, to infinity, you know?
'Cause that's kind of like life, right?
And it's really crazy, if you think about it, isn't it,
that, a hundred years ago, some guy
that I never met came to this country with a suitcase.
♪ ♪
he has a son,
who has a son,
who has me.
So, at first, when I was painting, I was thinking, you know, maybe up here,
that was that guy's part of the painting and then, you know,
down here, that's my part of the painting.
And then I started to think, well, what if...
We're all in the painting, everywhere?
And-and what if we're in the painting before we're born?
What if we're in it after we die?
And these colors that we keep adding,
what if they just keep getting added on top of one another,
until eventually we're not even different colors anymore?
We're just... one thing.
One painting.
♪ ♪
lucky cap. Lucky cap.
♪ ♪
I mean, my dad is not with us anymore.
He's not alive, but he's with us.
(Commentator speaking indistinctly)
He's with me every day.
♪ ♪
it all just sort of fits somehow.
And even if you don't understand how yet,
people will die
in our lives, people that we love.
In the future.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe years from now.
I mean, it's kind of beautiful, right,
if you think about it, the fact that just because
someone dies, just because you can't see them
or talk to them anymore,
it doesn't mean they're not still in the painting.
I think maybe that's the point of the whole thing.
There's no dying.
There's no you or me or them.
It's just us.
♪ ♪
and this... sloppy...
...wild, colorful, magical thing
that has no beginning, it has no end...
...this right here...
I think it's us.