-Previously on This Is Us... -KEVIN: I almost drowned!
You're so busy making sure
-that Kate's not eating too much and... -Kev, calm down.
...and Randall's not too adopted.
(crying): I just need somebody to help me.
I just need help, please.
-Uncle Kevin, slow down! -What the hell are you...
What? Get... Put your seat belt on. What are you doing here?
(siren whooping)
REBECCA: Oh! (chuckles)
Looks like someone landed on my railroad.
-That'll be 50 bucks, sucker. -Geez, Mom.
Whoa, I can read the dice from all the way over here.
See? I told you, sweetheart,
having glasses wouldn't be so bad.
For now. But once school's back,
the Urkel jokes will start.
What? No, they won't.
Yes, they will.
It's just a fact, Mom.
Do we have any more cookies?
You know what, we both have had
a couple of cookies already today,
-so maybe I could cut us up an apple instead. -(door opens)
-JACK: Hey! -Dad, you're home!
-Finally! -I am, I am. Hey, hey. Hi, hi. -REBECCA: Hi! -Hey, Dad.
Finally. Big news, Pearsons.
We're going on vacation.
-RANDALL: We are? -Yes, we are.
New guy in Accounting has a cabin in the Poconos.
It's gonna be sitting there empty,
so he said we could take it for the whole week.
That's, of course,
if Mom thinks that's a good idea.
I mean, a cabin does sound fun.
-Yeah, it does sound fun! -JACK: Super fun, right?
-REBECCA: Yeah. -Wait, what about Kevin?
It's close to his football camp,
so I'm gonna pick him up on Friday.
I'll bring him up there. We're all set.
I-I don't know why you guys are still sitting down here,
standing around. Go upstairs! Pack!
We're gonna leave first thing in the morning!
Oh, God. I-I...
I-I came in a little excited in the entrance, right?
-I didn't really give you a chance to... -No.
-Mm. -No, you didn't.
Yeah, but a log cabin, babe.
I mean, this was... this was too good to pass up.
Okay. I'll, um...
I'll start coming up with a list of things that we need to pack.
Um, top of the list, first thing:
your bathing suit.
We got to get you back in that black bikini.
(chuckles): No way.
-The black bikini is retired. -Wait. No, no.
-Retired, Jack. -Babe, she was too young to retire.
All right? She's bored. She-she wants a comeback.
I cannot believe that I haven't talked to Kevin in over a month.
We've never, ever gone this long without talking.
Yeah, I know, babe. Disconnecting is kind of one
of the key rules of rehab.
Kev's in rehab.
I let Kevin get sent to rehab.
Technically, the judge at his DUI hearing
let him get sent to rehab.
But now is no time to be super literal,
and I should know that. Sorry.
Well, I hope that it's been good for him.
I mean, not just getting clean but...
all of it. I still can't believe that
-I missed what was going on with him, though. -Hey. Hey, hey.
We had a lot going on, too, you know.
Yeah, we did.
(sighs) Okay.
Right, so...
portion-controlled hummus and veggies for the plane ride.
-Mm-hmm. -I'm gonna stay focused.
'Cause when life takes us low, Kate and Toby, we go high.
That's right. Crushing it in the face of tragedy.
'Cause that's how Ka-Toby roll.
Ooh, "Ka-Toby." I like it.
Oh, hey, will you take out the trash before we go?
-Yeah. -It smells like ass.
"Ka-Toby." Are we going with that?
'Cause I could get behind "Ka-Toby."
Hey, uh, you ready?
Toby?
Uh, uh...
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, come on, let's get this show on the road.
-(knocking) -Hey, Sweet Pea.
Hey.
How you feeling?
Fine.
We just wanted to triple-check that you're still feeling okay
about staying with the sitter while we go visit Uncle Kevin.
Dad, I love Julie.
She makes better brownies than you.
(gasps)
-Randall. -Yeah. Just... It's cool.
-Look, baby... -Mom, stop worrying about me.
You've asked me if I'm okay 100 times a day for the last month.
I told you, I was just sad about Deja having to go home.
I'm not gonna freak out and run away again.
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
I understand why she had to move home.
-Well, you know, we just want to make sure... -Beth. -Mom.
All right. Yeah.
Enjoy your book.
Love you.
Well, it seems like she's doing really well.
(chuckles) Why do you sound disappointed
-when you say that? -Because if she was doing a little worse,
then... I could stay here with her
and not have to visit your jackass brother.
Maybe have some of Julie's delicious brownies.
Okay, first of all, Julie's brownies
are bland as hell and lumpy.
Yes, they are.
Second of all, regarding my jackass brother,
cut him some slack.
He didn't know Tess was in the car.
Yeah. He just knew he was a danger
to everyone else on the road.
What do you want me to say, babe?
That he was irresponsible?
That he made some terrible decisions?
That I came within two inches of separating
his perfectly-coiffed head from his body?
-That part. -Well, I know how you feel, Beth Pearson.
I feel it, too.
But when I was at my lowest,
Kevin was there for me.
So now we got to be there for him, too.
Fine. But I'm not making any efforts
to hold in my passive-aggressive sighs.
Since when do you ever make any efforts to... Ho, ha-ha.
Look, as for me,
when I think about how angry I am with him,
I'm just gonna take a deep breath and force myself to say,
"We're here for you, Kevin."
That is some white people-level repression, babe.
-Well, I was raised by white people, so... -Everybody knows.
Hey, Mom?
Hmm?
How you feeling?
I'm okay. I'm just...
I'm glad that we're all able to be here to support your brother.
-RANDALL: Hey. -Hey, guys.
-Hey. -Hey, Mom. -TOBY: Hey-ya. -Sweetheart.
-How are you? -Hi, Bug. I'm good.
-How are you? -So nice to see you.
(overlapping chatter)
Come here, sis.
(soft kiss)
Been wanting to slap that one on you for a while now.
Me, too.
We've all had a rough month.
Which reminds me.
Hey, guys? I think we need to prepare ourselves.
Kevin's probably gonna look different.
He might have lost weight.
His eyes might have dark circles...
Hey-o!
MAN: Kevin!
Matt. Be good today, okay?
-Oh, of course he's Mr. Rehab. -Hi.
-Come on. -Oh.
-Mm. -I'm so glad you're okay.
Kate, um...
-I just wanted to tell you that I... -No, no. I know.
I know.
Hey.
-Hey. -Hey. Hey.
I just want you guys to know, um, just...
It means a lot to me that you all came.
-It really does. -Of course.
And I'm... blessed
-to have you all here. -(sighs heavily)
We're here for you, Kev.
-KEVIN: Thank you. -How are you, sweetheart?
Good. I'm good. You know, I'm better than I've been
-in a long time. Barb! Hey! Come on over here. -Oh!
-Hi. -Uh, everyone, this is Barbara.
-She's my therapist. -REBECCA: Oh, hi! -Hi. Hello.
Yeah, she's-she's great. You guys, you're gonna love her.
-She's got all the answers. Uh, you're actually... -(chuckles)
You're my favorite Barbara that I've ever met in my entire life.
-Mm-hmm. -And I've met Walters.
And Streisand.
It's very nice to meet all of you.
-RANDALL: Nice to meet you as well. -Nice to meet you.
Barbara's gonna be, uh, running our session today.
Oh, actually, Kevin, I was thinking that it might be better
for our first session to meet just your immediate family.
So, just your siblings and your mom and not the others.
"The others." What are we on, Lost? (chuckles)
Barbara, I'm sorry, it's just... the only thing is I asked them
-to be here. -Don't worry about it. It's okay.
-Beth. -No, what I mean is...
it's about what's best for Kevin's healing.
-Right. -Yeah, we don't want to be the ones to impede
-on Kevin's healing. That's... -She's right.
No, just do what you need to do.
You know, go and not make a big deal out of it.
-That's great. Yes. -You sure?
-BETH: So, you know... -It's-it's fine. It's okay.
-I'll call you. -Come back when you're done.
-Yeah. -Yeah. -BARBARA: Great. -Absolutely.
Hurry up, before they change their minds.
*
-(gasps) Hi! -Kevin, you're here!
Did we move while I was at camp?
-REBECCA: No. -JACK: No, I told you it was a vacation cabin.
Didn't you read our letters?
-You guys were on vacation without me. -No.
Just a few days, but we're gonna stay here till next week.
Kev, you are so big. I swear, you got
twice as big while you were at camp.
I want to hear everything about football camp. Tell me now.
-(smooching) -It was really cool.
-Yeah? -I got two trophies.
-You did? -You want to see?
Of course! Oh, oh, oh. Hey, hey, hey.
So, Randall got glasses, like, a week ago,
and I need you not to tease him about that, okay?
Because if he doesn't wear them, then he gets a headache...
-Okay, I won't say anything. -(whispers): Thank you.
Kev, you're finally here. This place
-is so cool. -REBECCA: Right? -At night,
Dad makes a fire and we make s'mores
and sometimes we make popcorn there, too.
REBECCA: Have you noticed
that every thing Kate says she loves
about this place happens to involve food?
Nah, she was talking about the fire pit.
Yeah. In reference to popcorn and s'mores.
Come on. It's vacation, all right?
And she has... baby weight.
But she's not a baby anymore, Jack.
I-I don't want to make her self-conscious,
but she's obsessed with food.
And the doctor says that she's heavier than most girls her age.
Yeah, but that doctor, he's basing it off of charts,
not our actual kid,
who takes after my grandmother, who's just...
-she was big-boned. -Ugh!
See, we've been doing this same dance for years, Jack.
I say that it's an issue, and you say things like "big-boned"
and "it's fine."
I'm worried about her.
-Okay. -Yeah?
Look... I will try to get her to be more active, all right?
Maybe find something physical that she loves.
-Yes? Thank you. Okay. -Yeah. Okay.
Hey.
-Yeah? -No more daily trips
to that ice cream place either.
(sighs)
-Jack. -Yeah.
Deal.
-Hut, here we go. -Hike, hike, hike. Go long, Dad.
JACK: Go, go, go, go, Kate. Come on.
Go long, Dad!
Oh, oh, oh. (laughs)
-Touchdown! -Here, run it back to your brother. Run it back.
Run it back, run it back. Go, go, go, go, go.
Mom, check out my spiral!
Yeah, I'm watching, bud. It's amazing.
I'm gonna throw it so far Dad can't catch it. Watch!
-Okay. -JACK: Kate, come on.
-Go long with me. -How come Randall doesn't have to play?
-Don't worry about Randall. He's fine. -I'm tired.
How can you be tired? We just got started.
If I don't want to play football, why do I have to?
Dad! Dad, catch.
You... you've been eating a lot of sweets this week, okay?
And I think that it's really important
that you-you exercise to-to stay healthy.
I won't eat more sweets. I just don't want to play.
Kate.
Just let her go, Dad.
Hey, four-eyes, catch!
Hey.
Are you serious, Kevin?
You almost hit your brother in the face.
I know. I missed.
No. Come here.
Do you realize you almost hit him in the head?
What's gotten into you, bud?
Do you really want to sit in your room by yourself
without your Game Boy,
without any books, nobody to talk to?
Why are you acting this way, huh?
BARBARA: Thank you all for being here.
It's an important part of Kevin's process
to speak openly to the people he loves.
In a safe space.
Kevin.
-So right now? -Yes.
Uh, well, you know, first of all, I just wanted
to s-sincerely apologize to all of you.
Um, obviously I hit a low point,
and I, uh,
ruined things with Sophie,
and then I went ahead
and ruined things with all of you.
Uh, Kate, I...
(exhales)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you had to go through one
of the most difficult times of your life without me.
That... should never happen.
You know, they-they tell us in here that, um, (clears throat)
they tell us that we have to forgive ourselves
for our wrongdoings, but...
that one's gonna take some time for me.
It's fine.
(sighs) And I'm sorry, too.
For taking my eye off the ball.
That's you. You're the ball.
Randall.
I'm sorry...
that I scared you and Beth like that.
I didn't know Tess was in the car, obviously,
but I am so sorry.
We're here for you, Kev.
And, Mom, I'm...
I'm sorry that I put you through all this.
I just want you to be happy, Kevin.
Whew. Right?
That was helpful.
Like, cathartic, you know?
Was it?
Because it felt a little polite to me.
Do you want to talk to your family
about what we've been exploring
regarding where your addiction might stem from?
Kev... it's okay.
It's good to talk about this.
I have been telling Kev
that he has to find out a way
to talk about his grief.
About our-our dad dying, so...
Was that a look? Like, did...
Yeah, they definitely got looks.
We're gonna need to talk about some things
involving your family--
and even about your father--
that were not so perfect,
when he was actually alive.
Can we go there together?
Oh, God, do we have to?
-To "The Others." -No, no.
To the, uh... to the new Big Three.
-Oh. To the new Big Three. -Ah, new Big Three.
-I like that. All right. -Uh-huh.
Mmm. I got to tell you,
this is not how I pictured my day at rehab going.
Did you guys see Kevin do that actor hand thing today
-all of a sudden? Like... -Hmm?
Like, when you put the two hands together.
And-and say "thank you" and then like, bow a little bit?
Like an overgrown Mr. Miyagi.
I mean, he drives my nine-year-old around drunk.
She has to watch her uncle get handcuffed.
But you know what? He bowed and said thank you like Al Pacino
so I'm just expected to forgive him.
Well, I don't think anyone expects that.
Randall does. Any time I try to have a conversation
about Kevin's behavior, I-I...
-I go into the Pearson no-fly zone. -MIGUEL AND TOBY: Mmm.
-The Pearson no-fly zone. -TOBY: Mm-hmm.
I have flown hard into the Pearson no-fly zone
on many occasions, and it does not end well.
But what do you... what do you guys do
when there's a no-fly zone that you have to fly into?
Like, right now, there's something
I got to talk to Kate about,
that she's been hiding from me.
It's not about Jack, right?
-No. -Because that's, like, a straight-up air strike zone.
No, yeah. I learned that lesson a long time ago.
When we first started dating, I saw a photo of the man,
and I said his mustache made him look like a '70s porn star.
-Oh. -(chuckles) -Yeah, I thought she was gonna deck me.
You know, Jack is untouchable.
-Mm-hmm. -Okay, he is the saint we'll never meet.
-Mm-hmm. -Who none of us will ever live up to.
MIGUEL: Easy.
You're entering my no-fly zone now.
-To Jack. -To Jack.
He did kind of look like a porn star.
(laughter)
(birds chirping)
Hey, Katie girl.
Mind if I join you?
What are we doing out here, just... sitting?
Okay.
That-That's cool.
Derek, down the street, called me fat.
Well, I think Derek...
Do you think I'm fat?
Katie girl, I think...
I think that you are my favorite-looking person
on the whole planet.
Oh, Mom, I can't find my glasses anywhere.
Well, where's the last place you saw them, bud?
I took 'em off when I went to wash my face.
I always put them on the desk by the corkboard near the lamp.
Why don't you go check the bathroom one more time,
and then I'll come help you look for 'em, okay?
RANDALL: Okay.
Hey, Kevin, can you come here, please?
(Kevin sighs)
What?
Did you take your brother's glasses?
No. Can I go?
Kevin, it's not funny.
It's not a joke.
You know your brother needs those glasses to see.
So I'm gonna to give you to the count of three
to tell me where they are.
-One... -I hate you.
Kevin, y-you don't hate me, you're just overtired.
This cabin sucks.
-Kevin. -This family sucks.
-Enough. -You suck.
(door slams in distance)
(sighs)
Go ahead, Kevin.
I guess, my entire childhood,
I always felt like I came in second to you two.
With Mom and Dad.
You know, like I was a...
like, fifth wheel of the family.
Kevin, that's crazy.
Kate, please. Let Kevin speak.
Well, Kate, it's just, you had Dad.
Right?
You had Dad, and-and, Randall,
you had Mom; you two were like two peas in a pod.
REBECCA: That's not true.
I loved you all equally.
BARBARA: Rebecca,
Kevin is telling you how he feels right now,
And you will all have a chance to let him know
how you feel later on.
KEVIN: Anyway, I-I think feeling that way when I was a kid
has developed this-this voice in my head
that would just sort of repeat, saying, "You're not enough."
And-and I tried to drown that voice out with things,
like, uh, football or acting or fame.
And, um...
And I think it was only a matter of time
before I turned to something worse.
Why was it was only a matter of time?
Because we're a family of addicts.
(laughs): Okay.
We're not a family of addicts, Kev...
KEVIN: Our father was an addict, Kate.
His father was an addict.
I'm an addict.
And I-I know how hard you struggle
with managing your weight.
Believe me, I've seen it. And I know how hard you try.
But I feel like, maybe, Kate, you're an addict, too, you know?
And I feel like maybe you get some of that from Dad.
Why are you doing this?
-I'm sorry, I'm not doing any... -No, no, not you.
Do you get more money the sicker that he is?
Or do you get to keep him here longer?
-Oh, hold on. No, stop. -How does that work?
Kate, wait-wait a minute. Now, you wanted me to talk about Dad,
-right? Okay, so that's what I'm doing. -Yeah...
I'm talking about Dad, but I can't sit here and pretend
that the only reason I'm messed up is because he died.
We don't talk about his drinking problem.
KATE: Because he beat it, Kev. It was just, like, a blip...
KEVIN: That's crazy that you even say that.
I'm crazy? You're here by court order and I'm crazy?
Rebecca, do you have an opinion
about your husband's alcoholism?
Did you ever talk to your children
about their father being an addict?
Did you ever warn them that they would have the gene?
Uh, my-my children lost their father when they were 17.
They didn't have their father at their high school graduation.
Randall didn't have his father when his children were born.
Kate will not have her father at her wedding.
So they had 17 years of memories,
and that's it.
There won't be any new ones for the rest of their lives.
So... no.
No, I did not sit them down
and color their memories of their father
by talking about the one part of him that wasn't perfect.
And you really do a disservice by calling my husband an addict,
because he was so much more than that.
Thank you.
It's interesting that you bring up examples
of Kate and Randall
but not Kevin.
What?
BARBARA: Kate not having her father at her wedding
and Randall not having
his father when his children were born.
Yes, because those were just the first two examples
that came to my mind.
But don't you find it interesting
that you have specific examples for your other children
-but not Kevin? -KEVIN: I don't.
I don't find it interesting-- I find it typical,
to be honest with you. I mean, this is what we talk about.
-Mom, you never... -Enough. Dude, enough.
You don't have to lay into her.
Okay, here we go.
Yeah, "here we go" is right.
Look, I...
I've tried to empathize with you, Kevin. I really have.
Okay, I've held my tongue
as your rich, spoiled ass got sent
to this Four Seasons for almost killing my daughter,
when most anybody else would've got sent to jail.
I've held my tongue while you've whined about your childhood,
a childhood which I was there for, by the way,
which I bore witness to.
Your football tosses on the lawn with Dad,
your tummy rubs from Mom when you had a fever.
See, Barbara may not have been there,
but I was there, so don't you dare try
to pull that same lame-ass piece of wool over my eyes, bro.
Okay? I've held my tongue,
but I will not hold my tongue while you go after our mother
-for not parenting you... -I'm not going after our mother,
Randall. Why do you always twist things around like that?
-I'm not going after... -He's not twisting anything, Kevin.
-He's simply defending me. -Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
You're right. I'm sorry. Why don't you take his side
because that's... See, this is what I'm talking about.
-I am not taking anybody's side. -Hey, man, you want to talk
about your tortured childhood, you want to compare baggage?
-No, Randall, Randall, listen... -Yeah, let's do that.
No, I would never compare my tortured childhood with yours,
Randall, because I wasn't abandoned or adopted
or I didn't have anxiety or I'm not a genius
-or any of those... -No, you're definitely not that, Kevin.
You know what else you're not?
You're not an addict.
Okay?
The only thing that you're addicted to is attention.
I mean, what happened, Kev? Your movie wrapped?
You weren't rolling with Sly and Ron Howard anymore?
Nobody was looking at you?
So you had to get us all up here,
all eyes on you.
Cue drug problem.
Okay.
Okay, Kev.
(Kevin scoffs)
Okay, guys.
No, you know what, I-I just... I'm...
I want to know your thoughts on this, Randall.
Why do you think your daughter was hiding in my car?
Why do you think
your daughter was hiding in my car?
You ever thought about that?
-What about it? -She's avoiding the Randall Show.
-Don't you dare talk about my daughter. -KEVIN: No, no.
Welcome to the Randall Show, ladies and gentlemen.
-REBECCA: Kevin. Kevin. -Adopted by white people.
Two dads. Does it get any more interesting than that?
Well, not for Randall.
So, you-you move your dying father into your home
without thinking about what your wife
or what your kids think of that, and then you bring some-some
strange girl into the house after he dies, right?
And the only person sitting there
that no one's paying attention to
-is your daughter, Tess. -You know what, I'm done, man.
-No, Randall, Randall... -And cue Randall out the door,
cue Mom chasing her favorite son.
This is such a predictable movie. You are so predictable.
-You raise your voice to her one more time. -Hey. Hey. Hey.
All your children you love equally, right?
-Yes, I do love all my children the same. -Yeah, I'm sure
that you do. Wouldn't it feel refreshing, though,
just to right here in this forum,
'cause this is where you do that kind of stuff,
to just tell everyone the truth,
which is that you love Randall the most.
-He's your favorite, right? -Oh, that's not true, Kevin.
-KEVIN: It's not true? -That's absolutely ridiculous.
-I'm not gonna say that, Kevin. -It's ridiculous?
Yeah, okay, it's ridiculous, then name me one thing
that you and I have.
One thing that you and I have
that is special, that is just you and me.
Not-not-not all of us. Not me and Randall. Not me and Kate.
Kevin, can you please stop?
I-I-I'm-I'm flustered and it's not kind of you,
-what you're doing. -Just admit that you love Randall more.
-Hey. -We can stop pretending to be this perfect family.
No, he was just easier!
(crying): He was easier
and he didn't recoil when I touched him.
And he wasn't some sullen teenager
who was angry at me for no reason and he didn't...
abandon me and move away after his father died.
(cries)
-Hey, Toby. -Yeah, Beth.
We're day-drinking on family day from Kevin's rehab place.
I know, it's like an Alanis Morissette lyric.
'Cause it's ironic.
MIGUEL: Okay. Big thought.
Here it is: cheese fries.
Ooh. I could get down and dirty with some cheese fries.
Toberman?
-Mm. Uh-uh. -Come on.
Don't tell me you're not about the cheese fries, man.
Look. (groans)
I found a bunch of junk food at the bottom of our trash can.
Kate has fallen off the wagon and is hiding it from me.
Well, who knows,
maybe she'll tell Kevin at therapy.
Or maybe she'll tell Randall or her mom, you know,
one of, one of the Pearsons on the inside.
You know, when I was a kid, I was obsessed with Star Wars.
I loved that it was this huge story, right,
where a bunch of people come together
to fight these giant wars.
But when you break it down,
it's really just about a few people on the inside
who know what's up.
Luke and Vader.
Leia and Obi-Wan.
(sighs) They were on the inside.
And they're having lightsaber battles on bridges,
and they're talking about big stuff
and everybody else is pretty much Chewbacca.
So in this story the three of us are Chewbacca?
If the Chewie fits, Beth.
MIGUEL: I married my best friend's wife.
Nobody talks about it, but everyone's always thinking it.
I've been on the outside of this family since I entered it.
I'm not even Chewbacca.
I'm one of the fighter pilots who doesn't even have a name.
That's not true, Miguel.
It is.
And I'm okay with that.
You see, Toby, those four lived through something
very unique together. They lived through the loss
of the best man that any of us will ever know.
And that's why they get to be on the inside, Toby.
That's why they get the lightsabers.
How drunk is Miguel?
Whoa.
Hi.
Announcement.
We did not
(laughing): make it back before the rain started.
I can see that.
Go, go put some dry clothes on.
Here, do you want a towel?
-JACK: Uh, yes. -Here.
Thank you. (laughs)
You're not amused by my entrance.
Yeah, I had a real day here with Kevin.
-Oh, I'm sorry. -It's okay.
I took Kate to the ice cream parlor.
-What? -I know.
-Jack, we just talked about that. -I-I know.
I just, I just, I couldn't,
I couldn't stand the way she was looking at me.
It was like I'd betrayed her.
I would've given her all the ice cream in the world
to get her to stop looking at me like that.
You know, I get that look all the time.
That's just what it means to be the family bad guy.
No, you're not the bad guy.
I'm the bad guy. I am. I'm...
I'm the one that fights with Kate
about whether or not to put a Fruit Roll-Up in her lunch.
I'm the one Kevin says that he hates.
You're the good guy.
You are. You're the guy that announces family vacations.
And you're the one who takes them on those secret trips
to Toys "R" Us when you're out running errands with them.
Ah, you know about those?
-Oh, the bad guy knows everything. -Right.
I'll be more firm with Kate about the food, okay?
I will. I can be the bad guy.
-No, you can't. -Yes, I can.
No, you can't, but that's okay.
Plus, I'll give our kids something to talk about
in therapy one day.
-(laughs) -(scoffs)
You know, for a bad guy,
you have one hell of a disguise.
(laughs) That is such a good guy thing to say.
That is. Mmm.
(Rebecca sighs)
(birds chirping)
That was intense.
Yeah.
I'm very glad Toby was not here for that.
He probably would have cried, right?
Oh, he would have cried the entire time.
I really like that he cries, by the way.
-Me, too. -Mm.
But it would have been too much.
Way, way too much.
You're not wrong, you know.
I think...
I think losing Dad the way we did, when we did,
it just, it's so much a part of this, you know.
Of all of us.
(footsteps approaching)
May I?
(sighs)
(rubs hands)
You know what would have been sweet?
If we had someone documenting our entire childhood,
Boyhood style.
-Mm, I hate that movie. -Never saw it.
I really loved it.
I'm just saying, if we had someone
filming our entire childhood, objectively,
then we'd never have to debate about anything.
Whenever we remembered things differently, we'd just say,
"Let's go to the videotape,"
like Warner Wolf and then see what was really up.
Who's Warner Wolf?
(clicks tongue) Sportscaster guy, when we were growing up;
used to always say: "Let's go to the videotape."
Then they'd play the highlights.
-Warner Wolf. -Oh. Oh, yeah.
(Randall sniffles)
I remember when they were fitting me for glasses as a kid.
I never actually realized just how blurry
everything had always been,
until they stuck my face in this weird thing they called
"The Better Machine."
FEMALE DOCTOR: Is this better?
Or is this better?
The... first one.
Is this better? Or is this better?
So many variations, so many lenses--
each one sharper or blurrier.
My view of the entire world shifted like 12 times
in less than a minute.
I think everyone sees their childhood with different lenses.
You know, different perspectives.
And I didn't come here today
to crap all over your perspective, Kev.
I came here today because last year,
when I was at my lowest...
Bro, I was crying on the floor and I was shaking, and--
hey, Kev, look at me.
Please.
You were there for me, man.
And I wanted to be there for you today and I wasn't.
I did a bad job today and I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry about Tess.
I know.
I love my crazy-ass brothers.
(Randall and Kevin laugh)
I really do.
So just to clarify:
it's official that I'm Mom's favorite, right?
-(laughs) -Is this guy for real?
That's unbelievable.
Yes, you are. I mean, I think she clarified it.
-Really? Really? -Mm-hmm.
-Oh, I feel that-- oh! -(Randall laughs)
It was Kev, it was Kev!
Our Uber is going to be here in four minutes.
(chuckles) Still can't believe
that you left the car at the bar.
Yeah, well...
Hey, can I ask you something while I still have a...
a brave beer buzz?
Actually, can I just say something first?
Um...
okay.
Ever since the miscarriage,
I have been...
hiding junk food.
Like, a lot.
'Cause it makes me feel good.
But hiding it from you makes me feel awful.
So, I wanted you to know.
I have a lot of things mixed up with food.
And I thought that my issues were kind of obvious.
But I don't know.
I-I don't know.
(rain falling)
(door opens)
Hey, bud.
Brought you some dinner.
I even made it with the crunchy cheese on top,
the way you like it.
Hey, Kev.
I'm really sorry.
I want you to know that if you tell me
you didn't take Randall's glasses,
I believe you.
Okay.
All right. Well...
we're just right inside if you need anything.
Kate?
Randall?
Hey, Mom...
*
Mom?
I'm sorry.
I asked someone where your room was,
and I just came to wait for you.
'Cause I couldn't leave without... talking to you.
Feel like we've done enough talking for one day, though,
right? (chuckles)
I was, um...
thinking about, uh, your first day of kindergarten.
And I remember walking you three into the classroom,
with Randall clinging to my leg and your sister crying.
But you just...
You waltzed right in.
And you didn't...
you didn't even look back.
(laughs) And...
your father and I were like,
"Wow, look at our brave little boy."
And I remember telling the other two,
"Now you have to learn to be just like Kevin."
(both chuckle)
Yeah.
I never worried about you.
Because I didn't think that I had to.
But now I realize that I was wrong.
*
I didn't have an unhappy childhood.
* Into my mind, into the deep
* Taking me up to the observatory *
* See if the moon and the stars agree *
It wasn't as good as I thought.
* To take me out...
But I know we had moments, you and me, Kevin.
I know we did.
(quietly): I feel it in my bones.
* Where you been hiding?
* What you been running from?
* Two worlds colliding...
Yeah, maybe we did.
I hope we did.
* Everybody hides
* Everybody bleeds
* Everybody wants
* Everybody needs
* Love
* But maybe I ain't the one. *