-[♪ Naïve New Beaters sing “Heal Tomorrow”] -♪ Today you hurt me ♪
♪ Gonna heal tomorrow ♪
♪ And if you leave me ♪
♪ I can do it solo ♪
♪ Today you hurt me ♪
♪ Gonna heal tomorrow ♪
♪ And if you leave me ♪
♪ I can do it solo ♪
♪ Today you hurt me ♪
♪ Gonna heal tomorrow ♪
♪ If you leave me ♪
♪ I can do it solo ♪
♪ Today you hurt me ♪
♪ Gonna heal tomorrow ♪
-♪ And if you leave me ♪ -[grunts]
-[laughs] -♪ I can do it solo ♪♪
[man clears throat]
Bonjour.
-[phone chimes] -[grunts softly]
[sighs]
-[♪ Naïve New Beaters sing “Heal Tomorrow”] -♪ You ♪
-[laughs] -♪ couldn’t focus...
[conversing in French] Who are they?
Our American exchange students. Ladd and Thomas.
I came down to practice my singing when I found them.
Practice your singing?
I’m sorry, we gave them Bella,
who could do 32 fouettés at the age of 10,
and André, who was landing triple tours en l’air out of the womb
and Jack sent us fucking Beavis and Butt-Head?
It looks like they went clubbing.
And this one got a tattoo of Billie Eilish on the back of his neck.
Or maybe Travis Kelce...
Get them up,
hose them off,
and get them to wherever they’re supposed to be.
-Okay. -Wait!
[camera shutter clicks]
For a friend.
Ladd.
-[piano playing] -[Deena] Battement.
[claps]
Battement!
Battement.
Tendu side, rond de jambe.
Prepare.
Pirouette. Hold.
Other side.
Pretty feet. Popo’s under.
Soft landing.
Quiet landing.
Cotton ball landing.
Very nice.
Very...nice.
-Where is your arm? -Ooh, you scared me.
Your line! Susu!
Where is your line? Don’t look at me.
I know how to land softly out of a pirouette. Look at them.
Very nice, Brianna.
Softer feet, Misty. Little clouds coming down.
[Cheyenne] Equal weight in fourth.
[Deena] And prepare.
-Square your hips. -High passé.
Double. 2 pirouettes.
They’re only supposed to do 1.
They can do 1, she should do 2. 2.
-You do 2. -Yes, madame.
Not you. I’m talking to her. She’s talking to you.
Clean. Finish clean. Tight fifth.
-Make sure you spot. -Is that clean?
-Soft clouds, pretty toes. -Sharp turn. Bam, bam.
[Deena] Very nice.
-Completely wrong. -Nice and clean.
Where is your arrogance?
-[Deena] Stretch your feet. -Announce yourself.
-Fluffy clouds. Pretty toes. -You’re behind.
-Po-po - -No, Susu, no.
Hit and hit and hit and hit.
Do not collapse the leg into fifth.
If you collapse your leg into fifth like a wet spaghetti noodle,
I will rip your shoes off and throw them out the window.
-[Deena] Brooklyn, po-po. -Cars will run over them,
rats will chew on them, horses will urinate on them.
Okay! That’s good.
[Brittany] Thank you, Ms. Toussaint.
[Cheyenne] Not you. I don’t know what you are doing.
[Deena] And hold.
Balance.
Very nice.
Okay. Ha.
[music ends with flourish]
What’s next?
-[♪ Sons of Raphael play “Nights Are For Love”] -♪ When the setting sun departs ♪
♪ the night begins in lovers’ hearts ♪
♪ Waiting for the moon to rise ♪
♪ towards the stars ♪
♪ they lift their eyes ♪
♪ Nights are ♪
♪ for love ♪
♪ as stars are for the heavens above ♪
♪ In every moon, there is a light ♪
♪ for those who love ♪
♪ Nights are ♪
♪ for love ♪
♪ as stars are for the heavens above ♪
♪ In every moon, there is a light ♪
♪ for those who love ♪♪
I’m proud - proud as punch -
to preside over the rechristening of our beautiful theater.
[mutters] Fuck, fuck, fuck -
-Easy, boy. -[Crispin] As a wee bairn who dressed
only in hand-me-downs until the age of 16,
occasionally grubbing through bins for leftover scraps
upon which to slake my gnawing hunger pangs,
it would never have occurred to me to dream
-of a moment like this. -[applause]
-Fuck, fuck, fuck, f... -Many cameras, many mics.
And now our opening night gala approaches, and I will say
that we’re planning one of the most dynamic and thrilling programs
in the company’s history here at the newly rechristened Shamblee Theater.
Now I’ll take some questions, but before I do,
let me speak for a moment about the name we’re retiring today.
Fish, a venerated name in the city of New York
with such a rich history, although we’ve all heard the jokes.
For instance, about the celebrated Fish Theater
and its esteemed Tartar Sauce wing.
-You goddamn motherless... -Piece of...piece of...
About how easy the Fish is to get to from upstream - I’m sorry, I mean Uptown.
-[laughter] -[Jack] I’m gonna rip
-his liver out through his throat and shove barbed wire... -Fucking goddamn mother-fuckity fuck.
And about the Fish’s gorgeous Steinway piano that’s always in “tuna.”
[laughter]
[laughs] I’ll take a few questions.
-[reporter] Any other big plans for the Metropolitan Ballet? -[phone vibrates]
[Crispin] Plans? No.
I do so much better when I improvise, don’t you think?
[reporter 2] Tell us what’s next for you.
[Crispin] I absolutely will at my next press conference.
-Morning, boss. -[reporters clamoring]
-End of an era. -[reporter 3] Did you single-handedly save the ballet?
[Suzanne] We tried to get Gabin to do some test shots, but he said no.
-Good God. -At least he agreed to show up for the shoot.
Tobias Bell is still pretending he can’t understand my emails or what I’m saying.
Twice he tried to pretend Tobias was not his name.
Ah, he’ll show up. I control his toothpaste.
Where are you shooting it?
The rooftop.
Don’t tell Tobias you’re shooting it on the rooftop.
Won’t he figure it out when he goes up on the roof?
-No. -Okay.
-[piano playing] -[instructor speaking French]
[Geneviève] What is Crispin Shamblee doing here?
I don’t know.
He’s taking barre.
[Raphael] That part I know.
-[Geneviève] With the company. -Yes.
-Why? -I don’t know,
but he gave me a hundred euros and handed out free Theraguns,
so don’t say anything.
[instructor speaking French]
[Crispin slurping]
[moaning]
Ah.
Hydration is so important.
Are you hydrating enough, Gen-Gen?
-I think so. -Come now,
I see no drinking glass within reach, no decanter of water.
Then there’s your skin.
I really do hydrate enough, Crispin.
Uh, thank you for your concern.
So, I just dropped by to see if there was anything
you need from me for your gala d’ouverture.
I can’t clone myself yet,
so I’ll be in New York and, alas, not here.
Things are good.
Ticket sales are up, uh,
dancers are excited, there’s been lots of good media coverage.
I’m doing some press myself in the next few days.
Ah, yes, well, speaking of press,
I thought it might be generous of me to tell you -
and I doubt it will come up - but there’s a little something
about to hit the wires regarding one of my subsidiaries.
So if you are asked about it, just tell them it’s nothing,
it’s just a little hiccup.
I’ve been running art institutions for 15 years, Crispin.
I’m an old hand at this.
Excellent. Did you paint that?
The portrait of Madame Macron? No, my niece did.
My budding Manet.
It’s so sweet. Would you like me to pass it on?
Pass it on?
To Madame Macron? I’m seeing her in a little bit.
You’re seeing Brigitte Macron?
I owe her lunch and many martinis.
So, shall I pass it on?
No, I’ll give it to her when I see her.
-Oh, when are you seeing her? -Very soon.
-So it’s not set? -No,
it is set, uh, I - I just don’t know the exact date or time.
Your assistant will know.
-Lucien? -[Lucien] Yes?
No, I’ll call him. Lucien?
What do you need, Mr. Shamblee?
[Geneviève] Uh, you... no, you work for me.
Yes, it’s just that he called my name.
And then I called your name. Last one wins, right?
-Okay. -Uh, y... [sighs]
I just remembered that I made the meeting with Madame Macron myself
and didn’t tell Lucien.
You got a meeting with Brigitte Macron? Fantastic.
She’s been ignoring our requests for over a year.
Thank you, Lucien. You’re dismissed.
Wow, a meeting with Madame Macron. [laughs]
[Geneviève] Well, thank you for dropping by, Crispin,
and I’m so sorry you won’t be here for our opening.
As am I.
A pleasure, as always.
Mmm...
Au revoir, ma chérie.
I’ll be in touch.
[door closes]
[energetic music playing]
♪ ♪
[Gabin] Tobias.
I want a jump here, okay?
A jump. I need a jump.
I’m on one level, you see? For hours.
You see?
Tobias! Can you hear me?
[Tobias] No.
[Jean] I need to talk to Tobias.
[dancer] He’s rehearsing.
[Jean] It’s the Americans. They’re very impatient.
Tobias, it’s New York.
-Who are you? -Your assistant.
-I don’t have an assistant. -Yes, I’m Jean.
You interviewed me.
You asked me about my English,
and I told you how I was born in Paris but then I lived in Montana for a year.
Why did you live in Montana for a year?
It wasn’t a choice.
So you were held hostage in Montana?
No, I - I wasn’t held hostage in Montana.
Then why are you complaining to me about it?
[Tobias sighs] Zoomers.
Tobias, our genius friend.
And, oh, how you’re missed.
Everyone, say hello to Tobias.
[all] Hi.
What an exciting day we’ve had today.
We just finished our last dress rehearsal, and your gala piece is looking wonderful.
I know you were anxious because you had to leave before the ballet opened -
never ideal - but I can promise you...
[inhales deeply] ...100% that this remarkable group of dancers
-will go out there and bring the house down. -[cheering]
Okay, so, Tobias, I’ll stop blathering and turn it over to you.
Take it away, inspire your dancers.
[inhales deeply]
Okay, I saw the video of this morning’s rehearsal, and...
Where’s the conductor?
The guy who conducts the orchestra? Wait, you guys understand English, right?
Okay, first of all, no one there knows who you are, which is a problem.
And the track I was sent earlier, from the rehearsal this morning,
the horns were, like, incredibly loud.
I’m like, “Wow, this guy really has a thing for horns.”
You’re going to fix that, right?
-Okay... -There were so many horns.
You don’t need so many horns. Or horn players.
Just send some home.
I will bring down the horns.
And the violins. So screechy. And someone was slow.
Like, off to the right. Don’t let them do that.
-I won’t. -That’s how the costumes turned out, huh?
What? Oh, that’s not me.
What was that, Tobias?
Those are the costumes? What they’re wearing?
-[Nicholas] Yes. -And they’re definitely done?
They are done, yes.
Huh. Well, I looked at the earlier run-through and honestly,
I don’t remember anything because of those truly terrible horns.
[conductor] Jesus Christ! I’m going to fix the horns!
And the lighting was slow, and the cues were off,
and I wasn’t sure those were the actual costumes,
which I guess they are...?
Right?
They are the costumes, Tobias.
They will be the costumes that they wear... [inhales]
...onstage... [inhales]
...during the show.
Okay, so when you put that all together, I guess...
Is he...is he coming back?
-[piano playing] -[teacher speaking indistinctly]
[car horns blaring outside]
Ms. Toussaint, can I come in?
Oui. And I told you, call me Cheyenne.
Okay.
Cheyenne.
[sirens wailing outside]
You’re here. Speak.
First of all, thank you. For everything.
For putting me in class.
You’re very polite. [sighs]
-Is that not good? -Oh, go on. Class.
Yes, thank you, and...
Do you have to come?
Come where? To your class?
-Yes. -Why?
Well, the others -
The mediocrities.
-They get weird about it. -Weird? How?
They say things.
Who? Which mediocrity?
They all seem a little weird about it,
and it’s kind of getting in the way of me making friends.
-Friends? -I don’t know the French word.
-It means - -I know what “friends” means.
Why do you want a mediocrity to be your friend?
Just because I spend a lot of time with them
and I think it would be good if they liked me.
Some of them, at least.
Which some?
Who?
The girl with the bowlegs who can’t jeté?
You want to be her friend?
-Maybe not that one. -The one with the underbite
who breathes through her mouth and the bad extension?
The boy with the ears on different levels and the flabby feet?
I never noticed his ears.
You are there to become the best.
To leap the frog over all the mediocrities.
Be the best first, then see who’s left to be friends.
Okay.
Susu.
Call me Ms. Toussaint.
[door closes]
[Carl Bretton] Welcome to BBC World News.
I’m Carl Bretton, broadcasting from Paris, and I’m sitting across
from the directrice générale du Ballet National et l’Opéra Français -
fancy name for the head of the Paris opera and ballet -
Ms. Geneviève Lavigne. Bonjour.
Bonjour, Carl.
So, you’re still the interim director of these institutions.
Interim, yes, and proud of it. Very proud.
Why would that make you very proud?
Well, not proud exactly but, uh, comfortable maybe.
One thing I’m not is ashamed.
At all. Not a bit.
So, opening night of the Ballet National’s new season is rapidly approaching.
-Must be a hectic time for you. -Hectic but exciting.
Now, this year you have a new benefactor Mr. Crispin Shamblee.
Yes.
I’ve never known anyone with a love of ballet quite like Mr. Shamblee.
He’s been so generous with his support,
and I know I speak for myself when I say that we’re so grateful.
And what about the story that’s been developing today
with a subsidiary of Shamblee Industries? Do you have a comment?
Only to say that it’s a very small thing.
Just a little hiccup. Nothing to worry about.
A little hiccup?
A little hiccup.
We’re talking about a major oil spill.
Hmm?
A 200,000-ton tanker operated by Shamblee Energy Solutions
sank off the coast of Brittany
and is spewing thousands of gallons of toxic oil
into the English Channel every minute.
-Is it that much? -The spill is set to hit the coastline
by the end of the week, killing birds, killing fish,
destroying entire ecosystems.
That doesn’t sound like a hiccup to me.
Well, you know, it’s funny, Carl.
Um, when I say hiccup,
it wasn’t meant the way you interpreted it.
-It wasn’t? -No, um...
Some hiccups are small, yes, and almost funny.
Um, you know, like when a baby hiccups and gets confused.
Those are the ones people giggle at. Y-You know the kind.
-This is not what this is. Um... -[door opens]
-This is one of those very, very painful hiccups. -[door closes]
-[Carl] Go on. -Um, okay.
A couple weeks ago...
-[door opens] -I had a bout of hiccups that were quite painful.
-[door closes] -You know, th-the ones that hurt your throat and...
[groans] ...um, make it hard to breathe.
And this is more like those kind of hiccups.
-Just terrible. Not the other kind. -The funny hiccups.
Oui. The funny hiccups.
-Let’s move on here. -Excellent.
Is the bull coming back anytime soon?
My God, did he take Paris by storm.
[Malcolm over phone] Ms. Lavigne, I have Mr. Shamblee on the line.
Oh, finally.
[Crispin] Bonjour, Gen-Gen. How are you today?
Not very well, Crispy.
Oh, no, that’s terrible.
Ow! Merde.
-Problem? -Yes, problem.
You neglected to mention that this little hiccup of yours
was an oil tanker gushing thousands of gallons of oil
into the ocean every minute.
-[static crackling] -Well, you’re so busy, I didn’t want to bother you with boring details.
I’m having trouble hearing you. Where are you?
Somewhere past Greenland and heading south towards New York.
[laughing] And I do believe that my copilot has just cut the cheese.
Dear boy, what were you eating
last night?
Mr. Shamblee, this issue is way bigger than a hiccup.
You grossly downplayed an ecological disaster.
Which I’m working on fixing even as we speak.
-Calm down, Gen-Gen. -Shit.
Believe me, I have my best and brightest working on this
and I’m dead set on plugging the bugger.
My God, it’s costing me a fortune.
I have my press conference tomorrow in the morning in the Grand Salon.
Journalists will ask me about this.
-Definitely. -Will you have fixed the leak by tomorrow?
-Definitely not. Malcolm? -[Malcolm] Yes, Mr. Shamblee?
Send Ms. Lavigne the talking points.
-[Malcolm] Yes, sir. -The talking points?
[Crispin] So you’ll be better prepared next time.
Sounds like you choked. Big time.
-I did not choke. -We’ll text you any updates as they come in.
Need to sign off now, Geneviève.
Keep calm, and “toi toi toi” for the opening.
[dancer] 1, 2, 3,
4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4 and...
Cargo shorts!
Ah, it must be special, this outfit, for the photo.
It’s a coming-out party. For me. For you.
The world will finally know us,
and this image will be burned into people’s brains.
They mentioned tights. Always attractive but very done.
So I thought, “What will make me look like I don’t care but you should?”
What do you think? A size too small.
So, tight around the ass but not too tight that I can’t sissonne.
Oh, it looks so good, yes?
I took many angles. Many, many angles.
Many, many, many, many, many, many angles.
So? Perfect? Yes?
-Effortless? Yes? -Are you talking to me?
[sighs] Yes. And I’m showing you pictures.
I picked the perfect outfit for the photo shoot.
What are you going to wear?
We should be thematically linked. How do you picture yourself?
Suffering. Go over there.
I can go through your closet with you. I have a wonderful eye.
-Why aren’t you dancing? -There’s no music.
I started the music. I’m hearing the music.
-I can’t hear the music. -I don’t...
Gabin, what is happening? Do you not want to rehearse?
I know you want to talk about your shorts,
but I want to finish this piece sooner rather than later
in case I hate it and I want to start over completely.
[music playing quietly over headphones]
[music playing over studio speakers]
[music shuts off]
-[Tobias] Ready? -[Gabin] Ready.
[♪ Gabriel Saban plays “Growing Pressure”]
-We get all the way through today. -Yep.
-Beginning to end. -All the way through.
You eat breakfast?
You ate breakfast.
-Hmm. A good breakfast. -Hmm.
[♪ Gabriel Saban plays “Growing Pressure”]
-[music stops] -[Tobias] Hmm.
-What? What’s that noise? -Ugh.
-I’m doing something wrong? -Mm. Mm.
Ah, the pistol. You know what? The pistol, the pistol was bad.
-[sputters] -The roll? You don’t want the roll?
You do want the roll.
-[grunts] -Ah, you want the roll to land that way and then...
-Mmph and then back. -Left or right?
-Yes. -Okay. From the beginning?
[music restarts]
[♪ Keaton Henson plays Bound To]
Shoom, bada-bada. Shoom, bada-bada. Shoom.
[♪ Keaton Henson plays Bound To]
-I did the choo-choo whoosh. -You didn’t.
I-I did it. I did it exactly like you said.
I did choo-choo whoosh, choo-choo whoosh -
-You skipped the whoosh. -I did not skip the whoosh!
-You did! -This is the whoosh.
[♪ Keaton Henson plays Bound To]
[♪ Gabriel Saban plays “Growing Pressure”]
♪ ♪
[music stops]
Again.
[announcer speaking French over speaker]
[doorbell ringing persistently]
Yes, please continue pushing the button.
It will turn out so much better if you never stop pushing.
-[knock at door] -[doorbell warbling]
Bruna? It’s Geneviève!
You broke my bell.
I just pushed it.
Don’t do that.
What’s this?
That’s Mishi.
Here.
What’s this?
Poison.
Just a large bag of poison.
I told you to stop bringing food. I eat.
You need to eat more than cheap meat and old beer.
Oh, that reminds me...
Let me make you a salad.
You make it, you eat it.
Just lettuce and dressing.
You like lettuce and dressing.
That’s a lie.
[Geneviève and Bruna conversing in French]
[dog barks]
[dull metallic thudding]
Cheyenne is worried about you.
I am not a giant tuna in Russian fishing waters.
She is not worried about me.
She wrote you a note.
Oh a note...
Well, that’s very different.
-[Bruna] No. -Should I read it to you?
“You will eat everything in this bag you stubborn barnyard animal
or I will burn down your house while you sleep in your bed.”
That’s beautiful. You two have a wonderful relationship.
Go home.
I’ll make you a deal - a bite of this, a bite of that.
Throw that shit out.
[Geneviève sighs]
And you didn’t tell me it came with a dog.
What happened to your neighbor with the cell phone?
Cheyenne hasn’t been able to get in touch with you for days.
She visits her sister, she takes her phone. I don’t control the world.
Girl...
Girl!
Sorry. Yes, Madame Toussaint.
Stand in front of me.
Does that thing shit?
Simi? Oh, no.
No? It’s a shitless dog?
Yes. I mean she does - but she won’t. I will take her out.
Mishi is a very responsible girl.
I’ll put this in the fridge.
Put that in the trash.
Oh, I see your family of rats moved back in.
How nice, I’ve missed you!
Sleep here.
If you last the night, I’ll move this stuff tomorrow.
That sleeps in here.
Yes.
-Not on the bed. -Okay
On the floor. Not on the bed.
Not on the bed.
What’s that?
This is for you.
It’s not any more fucking fruit, is it?
No. It’s just...
What is that?
It’s a crystal water carafe.
You fill it and keep it by your bed at night.
In case you get thirsty.
There’s cheese in the fridge if you’re hungry.
Smell it first.
[pipes groaning]
[Jack] Why is Cheyenne at Barry Diller’s table?
It’s the top table.
There’s a 50-50 chance she won’t show.
And if she does, there’s a 50-50 chance she won’t stay.
It used to be, if you wanted to entice a dancer to a gala,
you’d tuck a healthy line of blow under the salad plates.
But that was of its time.
Those were fabulous galas.
-You need something, Cheyenne? -Ignore me, I’m not here.
But you know, the true loss was quaaludes.
Oh, I can’t begin to describe it.
What... what are you doing?
What did you just pull from my couch?
Marie, you got a haircut.
Hmm, so sweet of her to notice.
My couch is off its marks.
-[Nicholas] You have marks for your couch? -This couch is custom.
And - and the balance of the room depends on the couch being perfectly placed.
Hey.
Hey!
Did you...
[quietly] Did you sleep on my couch last night?
What? No. That would be ridiculous. I have somewhere to sleep.
I just had sex with Gael on it.
You and Gael had sex on my couch?
Yes. Where else would you have us do it?
In the place that you sleep.
Look, we did not have many choices, Jack.
Gael lives in Queens. No, thanks.
I am still in the ridiculous fancy hotel
with the people barging in to pick up trays and clean the bathrooms.
-Cheyenne - -I don’t trust them.
They are nosy. “How was your day, ma’am?”
Always asking. They don’t need to know this.
-Cheyenne! -What?
Why did you fuck on my couch?
-Do you not listen when I talk? -[Marie] Yep.
-On my way. -This is my couch. This is my office.
Look, there is an immediacy to the act, Jack.
You must seize the moment. You don’t want to travel.
You don’t see that this was incredibly inappropriate and fucking nuts?
Why? It’s here. It’s beautiful.
It’s not like you’re having sex with anyone on it.
And your shower is the nicest in the building.
You used my shower?
-No. -Cheyenne.
Well, I needed to clean up
after all that sex and dancing.
-I was pretty gross. -Jack.
-What? -We’ve got an issue downstairs.
Shit. Shit.
Nicholas! Trouble. Let’s go.
This conversation is not even close to over.
[indistinct chatter]
What is happening here?
[Marie] Now, Jack, I just want you to relax.
You just handed me a glass of whiskey at 11:00 in the morning.
It’s all gonna be fine. The important thing is not to panic.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What is this? What am I looking at?
-Well, Jack, that’s TikTok. -I know that’s TikTok. Who is that?
And that’s Julie. She has an account on TikTok.
-Do you have your kids this weekend? -Yeah. Sorry.
Just give me the phone.
[♪ Tchaikovsky plays Swan Lake]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Please tell me what I think is gonna happen is not going to -
-[Julie shouts, thuds] -[glass shatters]
-That wasn’t staged. -Nope.
-But it got a lot of likes. -I have the doctor.
He says it’s not broken and it actually looks much worse than it is.
I’m not really sure it could look much worse.
It’s like she’s in first position but reversed.
-How long is she out? -2 weeks at least.
[Eva] She probably tore a ligament.
2 weeks.
[dancer] Oh, God.
Okay. Everyone, gather round. I have an announcement to make.
Come on. Let’s go.
Okay.
Some of you know, some of you don’t,
but Julie, the star of Tobias’s new ballet, tentatively titled Piece 1,
suffered a tragic TikTok injury today and -
It’s not a tentative title.
-[Jack] It’s a working title. -No, it’s the actual title.
Whatever the fucking title is, she hurt herself being an idiot
and will be unable to perform on opening night.
“Idiot” seems a tad bit harsh.
Her account is super popular.
-It gets people to come to the ballet. -Is her account super popular, Larry?
Well, that’s great. Let’s enjoy the irony here, people.
You do stupid shit on your social media
to try and get people to come and see you in the ballet,
and then they come and see you in the ballet,
and you’re not in the fucking ballet
because you were doing stupid shit on your social media.
Life is a mystery.
-Do you...? -Yes, I do.
-Okay. What now? -[exhales] Can we sue Louboutin?
Is there a Louboutin? Because I want to sue him, personally,
and then beat him to death with the same shoe
that fucked the tentatively-titled Piece 1.
I truly believe it’s the actual title.
Where are we with second cast?
The audience doesn’t want to see second cast on a first cast night.
Oh, Jesus, this is insane.
Nicholas, didn’t you just dance through injuries in the old days?
Credit the blow. I’m not advocating it. However -
[Cheyenne] I’ll do it.
What do you mean you’ll do it?
The dance. I’ll do it.
-Do you know it? -[Cheyenne] I watched rehearsal.
It’s an interesting piece.
[Jack] You’re...
That would be...
-That would be great, right? -Oh, that would be amazing.
-Really amazing. -We have to let her do it.
You’re sure you know the piece?
I guess we’ll find out.
[exhales softly]
Bet you Julie gets free shoes.
Sorry.
Hello everyone. I’m Geneviève Lavigne.
Welcome to our beautiful theater.
Since our company’s founding in 1669,
we continue to strive for a level of artistic excellence
to exceed even the lofty expectations of Louis XIV himself.
You’ve all received our official press release,
including biographies of all our company members
and this season’s repertoire.
I’d be happy to answer any questions you have.
[clamoring in French]
Yes, Iris Chastain from Le Monde. Iris?
Ms. Lavigne, would you like to clarify your remarks on the radio yesterday?
You seemed to minimize a major environmental disaster off our coast?
Yes, I would. Thank you for the opportunity...
Uh, “Shamblee Industries is working hard on a solution
to this unfortunate accident.
I’m pleased to report that French authorities have rescued
32 of the 34 crew members from the sinking vessel.”
So that’s good news!
Next question?
Perhaps about our exciting new season with the Americans?
-[clamoring] -Jacques Macon from L’Obs.
What about the harm done to marine life?
Great.
Great question.
Uh...
[mumbling in French]
“So far, Shamblee Industries is happy to report
that 99.1% of the animal kingdom
has been completely unaffected by the spill.”
An excellent statistic, I think.
Next question?
[clamoring]
You seemed to make a joke about the spill on radio yesterday...
Oh, I did not...
You called it a “hiccup”
and equated hiccups to the harmful effects of an oil spill.
Have you not had really bad hiccups, Valentine?
Not the giggly kind - the really bad kind.
-Eh bien... -Has your child not had them?
I think every parent would agree it is no laughing matter.
32 of 34 crew members have been rescued.
What happened to the other two?
The other two?
[sighs, mutters in French]
Yes, what is their status, Ms. Lavigne?
Are they dead?
Or are they just injured, Ms. Lavigne?
Or missing?
Ms. Lavigne has not been provided any further information on this matter.
Can we move on?
Are the Americans assisting in the cleanup effort, Madame?
I did not call on you!
Please wait ‘til you’re called on!
Ah! Uh...
This text update just came in.
Uh... good news.
We’ve found the two missing crew members.
The first is dehydrated but already reunited with his worried family,
and the second is, uh...
um...
well... uh...
is not going to be reunited with his family
a-anytime soon...
or ever.
[reporters murmuring]
Anything else?
[clamoring]
I’ll be out of here in a second.
Find whatever the fuck it is you’re looking for
that you left after having sex in my fucking office, then go.
[Gael exhales]
[both sigh]
You use marks for your furniture?
I spend a lot of time in this office
and I want to maintain a clean, patterned look. That okay with you?
Sure, yeah.
I’ve just never seen anyone do that.
What are you looking for?
Your dignity? Your self-restraint?
The key to my storage unit.
Your storage unit. Jesus Christ.
You came in your bare feet?
I took my shoes off at your door.
You’re persnickety, I figured you’d want people to do that.
Oh, so you think to take your shoes off at the door
but don’t hesitate to defile my private property?
Look, I admit, what we did was a little unprofessional.
Not “a little.”
I was good with the bench in the downstairs hall -
Spare me the play-by-play.
-Thanks. -Wait.
Desk.
[Gael sighs]
[Gael clears throat]
That new?
-Burned it on the fire line. -Of course you did.
And the mark on your neck?
Got in a fight on the fire line.
Of course you did.
It’s fading.
Listen to me.
You’re going to sign an ironclad contract,
and I mean ironclad.
The kind of iron the old popes used
on chastity belts for their illegitimate daughters.
-Look, Jack - -Maybe,
maybe I’ll give you an out if your mother dies.
How is your mother?
I hope she’s feeling well because you only get 2 hours if she dies.
She’d better be local because that includes travel to the funeral,
the fucking funeral, and traveling back.
I don’t like being penned in.
You know that, right?
Tough shit.
You’re either penned in like a fucking chicken in a coop
or you can grab your dance bag
and go cobble shoes or brew micro-beers
or be an old-timey bookbinder or whatever the fuck.
You never used to use this much profanity.
You fucking bring it out in me, Gael.
I never left you in the lurch, Jack.
Let’s be clear on that. I never just walked out.
[sighs]
[exhales heavily] She’s very adamant about what she wants.
You’d better not fuck me over on this, Gael.
Or her.
And you’d better not have sex on my couch ever again,
or I will castrate you.
Or I’ll have you castrated.
You’re in better shape than me, so probably the latter.
I’ll sign.
Go back to rehearsal.
Key.
[music playing in distance]
-Anything? -3 messages. Nothing.
With everything else I have to deal with...
We’re losing the light.
-[Tobias over phone] Speak. -[voicemail beeps]
Tobias, it’s Geneviève again.
Call me and tell me you’re on your way.
Or at least on your meds.
We’re losing the light.
And what would you like me to do?
Become Superman and fly the Earth backwards in time?
Geneviève...
-I think we should reschedule. -No, no, no, no, no, no.
No rescheduling! Tobias will be here! I have cargo shorts for him.
We’re losing the -
I’m going to throw you off the building
if you say that one more time!
You know -
I’m done.
He doesn’t care about this, I don’t care about this.
Just take Gabin’s picture. We’ll Photoshop Tobias in later.
This is too important to use Photoshop. This is my moment.
Madame...
we have a slight situation.
Gabin, I don’t have time for one of your tantrums.
Go. Snap snap snap.
I have a million more important things I need to be doing right now!
Why am I even here?
-Raphael! -Oui!
I’m coming.
Okay, I can’t guarantee how this is going to look but we’re here, so...
-[camera shutter clicking] -[photographer muttering quietly]
[clamoring over television]
I try to protect you,
but I cannot protect you from this.
[reporter] Hedda, I understand that your, your growing protest
intends to travel to Paris in the next few days.
[Hedda] And it will only grow bigger from here.
Our cause is climate justice,
and we will march until the perpetrators of injustice
are brought to the ground once and for all.
[protesters shouting support]
My friends Mark Ruffalo and Björk will be joining me
as we bring this fight to Geneviève Lavigne’s doorstep.
[cheering]
-Shit. -Not Björk.
[reporter] Anything more to add, Hedda?
Yes.
Geneviève Lavigne, you may make light of natural disaster,
measuring the giggly against the painful,
but your hiccup is our apocalypse.
[chanting] Your hiccup is our apocalypse!
[reporter] Roger, you can’t see, but I can see
what looks to be hundreds of people
coming to gather on this spot
to be with Hedda Nilsson
as she prepares to bring her fight to Paris.
The police have already started erecting barricades in the Bastille.
They anticipate massive crowds.
[theme music playing]
Where’s the dog?
[♪ Mozart plays Idomeneo, “Act 3: Chaconne”]
...That’s right,
tonight is not about oil. Tonight is about the arts,
about dance, and about Le Ballet National...
♪ ♪
[photographer speaks French]
Madame and Monsieur Duplessis, welcome.
Such a special night for the company and for your daughter.
We were so excited we could hardly sleep last night.
-[laughing] -[Clea speaks French]
Mishi’s things are gone, along with her dog.
I’ve been calling and texting and I get no response. What do you know of this?
-Madame - -What did you do? Where is she?
Madame... I’m going to stop you right there.
All I can say is that one of my dancers came to me with a problem and I solved it.
That’s my job.
If you want to fire me, fire me. But do it tomorrow.
Tonight, I’m going to enjoy the Gala.
[orchestra tuning]
[camera shutters clicking]
[loud chatter]
[♪ Felix Mendelssohn plays Athalie, “War March of the Priests”]
[applause continues]
[cheering]
♪ ♪
[applause]
[applause, cheering]
♪ ♪
[applause]
[music ends with dramatic flourish]
[cheering]
♪ ♪
[music ends]
[cheering]
-[man] Mishi! -♪ ♪
Smile.
Oh, shut up, Florent.
[music ends]
[cheering]
[orchestra playing rapidly]
♪ ♪
-[music ends] -[cheering and applause]
You saw that Pharrell was in the third row?
With Marion Cotillard?
No, really?
I met her once.
She called me handsome.
You look sad, Gabin.
-Why are you sad? -Not now, Matthieu.
Is it because Pharrell yawned? When he saw you walk out?
[laughter]
Maybe he has jet lag.
Or maybe taste.
[shouting indistinctly]
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I was just teasing.
[door slams]
-[sputters] -[indistinct chatter]
[applause]
[Jack] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s nice to see this place packed to the rafters, as it should be.
My name is Jack McMillan,
and I am the executive director of Metropolitan Ballet Theater.
It’s a privilege to welcome you to the opening night of our season,
a season that I believe is going to knock your socks off.
This season we’re stepping into a transatlantic pas de deux, if you will,
with the fine French folks at Le Ballet National for a first-time-ever swap.
Yes, it sounds a little Bravo - the channel, not the cheer -
but it’s actually a revolutionary idea.
New York and Paris’s greatest talents of today and tomorrow,
swapped for one special season.
And it has reunited us with one of our most brilliant,
provocative, and beloved guest ballerinas.
Our own étoile Cheyenne Toussaint.
[applause]
All charges against her from the last visit have been dropped,
thank you to everyone at the D.O.J.
The law may no longer want her, but we sure do.
So, without further ado,
I want to welcome you to the newly christened...Shamblee Theater.
[cheering and applause]
I hope you enjoy the evening. Thank you.
[clears throat]
♪ ♪
[music ends]
[applause]
[cheering]
You see? Your couch made that happen.
[cheering and applause continue]
[frantic clamoring]
[voice over P.A.] 6 minutes to curtain. 6 minutes to curtain.
-[indistinct chatter] -[tones chime]
[chuckles]
-Party favors. -[laughter]
♪ ♪
-[music ends] -[cheering and applause]
[Tobias grunting]
[woman] Ow!
Great job, all of you. Amazing.
What did you do to my dance?
-What the hell are you doing here? -That is not how I staged it!
Where’s Maddie?! Why is Cheyenne Toussaint out there?
-[Cheyenne] Who are you? -He’s not supposed to be here.
-Does Geneviève know you’re here? -Don’t change the subject.
And don’t get too close. You. Why aren’t you Maddie?
-Who is Maddie? -Who is this?
Maddie! Maddie! The lead in my ballet!
-You mean Julie? -Who’s Julie?
-Cheyenne, you’re up! -Is this the cuckoo choreographer man?
Cuckoo choreographer man? You should talk.
I’ve heard some contemptuous adjectives thrown around with your name attached.
-Contemptuous! -[Teddy] Cheyenne! Now!
Hold on.
Julie got injured so we subbed in Cheyenne.
Subbed? You subbed? You just subbed?
Well, someone had to go on, Tobias.
And who the hell named my piece “Piece 1?”
-You did! -You can’t tell
when a name is a placeholder? Who gave you this job?
And you, what are you doing here? Didn’t you become a farmer?
No. I was working on a farm. I did not become a farmer.
I’m sorry, if you work on a farm, aren’t you a farmer by definition?
Can we please argue one insane thing at a time?
-Like about the font? -What font?
The program font? You were good in “Bound To,”
-by the way. -Thanks.
-Why are you so upset? -Oh, my God, I’m allergic.
You didn’t like my work? You found something lacking?
My throat is closing up.
One more, Cheyenne!
[Cheyenne] I had 2 fucking days to learn the whole thing.
I think I did a very good job. No?
Benadryl, EpiPen?
Oh, thank you!
Tell me. Tell why you make this sour face.
Are we not doing the last together bow?
[applause swells]
[cheering and whooping]
[cheering continues]
The horns were better.
I have to call Geneviève.
Oh, sure. You have to be a tattletale
and call Geneviève to tell her I’m here, which doesn’t affect her at all,
but you don’t think to call me to tell me
my entire ballet has been upended and renamed?
You fucking named it!
Tell me what I did wrong.
[Teddy] Cheyenne, they want another solo bow.
See? They liked me.
They probably liked the font!
There’s nothing wrong with the font!
I did not stage it with you. I did not picture it with you.
Nothing about the creation of this dance included you.
I don’t even know if you like it!
Of course I like it. It’s brilliant, you strange awkward man.
If I had known it was going to be Cheyenne,
I would’ve done the entire piece differently.
There wasn’t time, Tobias.
You shipped me off to Siberia -
-Or Paris. -[Cheyenne] You should be thanking me.
Thanking me for stepping in and making sure
the piece made it to the stage at all.
I don’t want it to make it to the stage
if it doesn’t make it to the stage correctly!
Why doesn’t anyone understand this?
You took me away from everything that’s important:
my ballet, whoever Maddie is, my pillow -
I still don’t have a pillow that works for me.
I promise I will find you a pillow.
You said that about the soap and the toothpaste and the yogurt.
One more, Cheyenne!
[cheering and applause]
[shushing softly]
[applause fades]
Ladies and gentlemen, the arts are dying.
And when art dies, so does humanity.
This world is a hellhole.
We have nothing to promise the next generation
except that their lives will be much worse
and their deaths will be slower and more painful.
We are not interested in solutions.
We are only interested in taking pictures of our food.
And there are no innocents under this roof tonight,
though some are more guilty than others.
Right now there is a tanker pumping millions of gallons of oil
into the Atlantic Ocean.
And for that you have only one person to blame.
It is the man whose name is on this very building -
-Crispin Shamblee. -[audience gasping]
Good night.
[scattered applause]
That’s going to hit our social media.
What did you do?
What? You people all like a little speech, right?
How dare you attack me like that as I sit there in the middle of the audience!
I don’t know where your seat is.
-[chuckles] -You think this is funny?
-Well, a little. -Maybe you won’t find it so funny
when the check doesn’t clear?
Now listen to me, “Étoile” -
No.
-[Jack] Come on, Crispin. -[Crispin] I'll see you Monday.
Now tell me. Was I bad?
Of course you weren’t bad.
Then why the scrunchy face?
Because you have all this power.
If I had been creating this for you, I would’ve added more moments.
Like - like where the fouetté double pirouette ended in fourth,
I would’ve taken it all the way to the ground.
[Cheyenne] Ah.
[Tobias] I would’ve let it collapse, then I would’ve let Cody
pull you up slowly into the arabesque from the ground.
-That sounds good. -I know.
Let’s do that.
-Now? -I dance it again tomorrow night.
Okay. And we have to change the beginning.
-Obviously. -What’s going on?
-And then the next part. -Well, if we’re changing the beginning...
Wait, what’s happening here?
Oh, and the middle of the pas de deux,
don’t you feel like I could keep the...
Extension going through the next 4 beats. Yes.
I’m ready.
-Cody? -Larry.
Give us the stage.
[atmospheric music playing]
[Tobias] One more time.
[vacuum whirring]
[Gabin sighs] Oh, you’re back.
Where is everyone? Rehearsal is at 10:00.
I asked them to wait.
I’m not even supposed to be here. I’ve been suspended.
What? Why?
You missed the photo shoot.
The...Oh.
You missed something that was very important to me.
And you knew it was important to me because I told you it was important to me,
but I know you don’t care. Okay.
Geneviève did not care either.
Only me.
Only I care.
Did they like the cargo shorts?
No. You don’t talk. Not now.
Opening night was terrible for me.
I did nothing but walk in a humiliating line like I was anyone else.
Like I was a nameless, faceless nothing.
You're a very good walker, I’m sure you stood out.
I said no talking.
I got in a fight with Matthieu. That was fun.
Then, once the bleeding stopped,
I went to the gala and I sat next to a smelly old woman
and I had to pretend that her stories about her vineyard in Bordeaux
were interesting. Then, while I danced with her,
she told me she also likes to skinny dip.
I looked it up, it’s naked swimming.
I was invited to join. Then, later,
after many, many showers, I go online and see all this
wonderful footage of you and Cheyenne rehearsing together.
So, now I know, “Ah... [laughs]
he’s in New York creating for someone else.”
You never called, you never texted.
No carrier pigeon. You just...you forgot.
The dance, me, everything.
No, I understand.
I will not be naive again.
Your message was very clear.
[sighs]
My message is never clear.
Let’s get back to work.
I think they liked the cargo shorts.
[♪ Sons of Raphael plays “At Dawn I Look For You”]
♪ ♪
♪ On your face light plays ♪
♪ The sun is young ♪
♪ In everything a mystery ♪
♪ I remember morning stars that sang ♪
♪ and golden skies that hung ♪
♪ upon a cypress tree ♪
♪ And even angels have a way to say ♪
♪ you are gone ♪
♪ Not through the words but the first ray of the dawn ♪
♪ And when the birds with your voice sing ♪
♪ with childlike faith I will run ♪
♪ to meet your light in the rising ♪
♪ sun ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The red silk of your full lips can speak ♪
♪ and with the sunset’s voices blend ♪
♪ In the open air our bodies leap ♪
♪ And like a falling leaf ♪
♪ into the night descend ♪
♪ And even angels have a way to say ♪
♪ you are gone ♪
♪ Not through words but the first ray of dawn ♪
♪ And when the birds with your voice sing ♪
♪ with childlike faith I will run ♪
♪ to meet your light in the rising ♪
♪ sun ♪
♪ Or something like your eyes ♪
♪ the sea, the wind and the sand ♪
♪ The rainbow’s colors that never end ♪
♪ Into light you can bring ♪
♪ every hidden...