'Are you missing me?'
'I've booked my bus ticket this evening just for you.'
'That too, in black.'
'I'm coming soon. Take care.'
'Love you.'
Love you too, Manav.
Are you seeing this red line?
This is the warning sign of the end of your career.
The silk hair shampoo...
That campaign wasn't locked either.
-Did you speak to Manav? -Huh? Yeah.
He's coming back on the evening bus.
And Deven?
Did he threaten
or message?
-No. -Good!
Good.
-Where's he? -Must be on the way.
It's been quite a while.
-Hi. -Hi.
Attitude.
Had to work very hard, even sell a kidney for this podcast.
Please do it well, with confidence.
Okay.
-Okay. -Okay. Ready?
-Your team, sorry. -Yeah.
Come on, guys. Let's do this.
-Ready? You're ready? -Always.
Let's roll it.
Welcome back to another podcast of the Rohit Kohli show.
As always, today's show will be completely unscripted and unfiltered.
And since we believe in complete honesty,
this show is run by people like you.
We never take any money.
That's a lie. He's sitting on a pile of money.
So, Kritika...
You're the first guest of our Influencer Special Series.
-What do you have to say about... -Well...
Calling oneself an influencer...
...feels a little irresponsible.
I mean, honestly,
we haven't achieved anything in life
that gives us the power to influence anyone, you know.
Right. Right.
Content creator.
You know, because we show our creativity
and expression, and create content.
So, we both consider ourselves content creators.
So, by 'we both, ' you mean
you and your co-creator boyfriend, right?
What's his name?
Well, well, well... For me, he's Bub.
And for the world, he's just 'M.'
And this unique style of yours,
-debating a topic to agree to disagree, -He's asking word by word. Very good.
It's very interesting.
Is it organic, or was it planned?
We would actually love to know more about...
'Sushi is food for the rich.'
'Hey!'
'Dude, what is this?'
'Let's agree to disagree.'
'For sneaker heads, sneakers are not just shoes, '
'they're art.'
'They're their expression.'
'Sneakers are just a passing trend.'
'Okay, let's agree to disagree.'
'Let's agree to disagree.'
'What's your jam? House parties or clubbing?'
'Of course, House Party!'
'In my opinion, room service'
'is better than eating at the hotel's restaurant.'
'But the hotel has a buffet too.'
'We middle-class people, '
'we keep our old books'
'and coffee jars in the kitchen, '
'like treasures.'
'But our dreams?'
'We forget them just like that.'
'As long as I'm in your life, '
'I won't let you rely on anyone else.'
Kritika?
-Hi. Where are you lost? -Sorry.
Actually, the thing is...
he works in Gurgaon.
So, I miss him a lot.
I really really just
suddenly started missing him even more.
Nice. What an actor.
How cute.
But Kritika, tell me something.
This 'M, ' why don't we ever see him?
Is he a ghost?
No, but that brings me to a very important next segment.
Do you believe in ghosts?
-It's hot. -Be careful.
What's the hurry?
You've got some.
Manav...
Kritika, please focus.
Look at how Manav is being cheesier than a momo.
Okay, let's take another take. Manav...
I don't want to do it!
Do you think I'm an actor? I can't act!
Life has turned into inception here.
Your real ex-boyfriend shouldn't tell our followers
that we are just best friends in real life
and are faking a romantic relationship online.
So we'll have to fake a romantic relationship in front of him
so that he doesn't think we're still just best friends.
Dude, what?
Dude...
Her real ex-boyfriend Deven
thinks we're just best friends in real life.
Now, to stop him from telling our followers that
we're faking a romantic relationship online,
we'll have to
fake a real romantic relationship in front of him
so he doesn't think we're still just best friends.
-I still didn't get it. -Forget it!
I understood it the first time.
Tejal, just chill. It's not a competition.
I don't know why Kritika...
Bro, what do they call you?
-Naman. -Right!
Rascal! Why were you dating that rascal?
Kritika...
I'm really sorry.
Amidst all this, you didn't even get the time to heal from your breakup.
Right?
You're here.
I'm already feeling better.
Bro, Jonty's message.
Are you sure you don't want any bodyguards?
I've seen brawls break out in such situations.
Naman, relax.
Deven has no idea what's about to happen to him.
Chill out. No bodyguards are needed.
Coming in 5 minutes.
Look.
Does this bitch have no idea what's going to happen to her?
You should've done it by now.
Never mind, let them come, apologize...
then I'll beat him black and blue.
Brother, don't crack his head.
Dad said he'll only spend on one thing:
Either paperwork or therapy.
You know how important the therapy is for me.
Okay, fine. I know.
Their entire gang is here.
Come, sit.
Manav, we haven't come to sit.
So, you've come for a thrashing.
Brother, I had only two options.
One option was to write in my gratitude journal, 'Thank you, Deven'
because it's thanks to Deven that today I'm dating Kritika.
And the other option was
to come man to man and say thank you.
Rascal, you want to do it man to man!
I won't spare... I won't spare you!
Brother, you are very old school.
That "I won't spare you, beat you black and blue,
bury you alive..."
Preserve some dignity for the North.
Show some honour.
-Show something new, brother. -Look, brother.
You can beat up Manav later if you want.
I won't care.
You will care when tear his face apart!
-You'll care. -I won't be bothered
about how Manav looks on the outside,
because I love him for his heart,
which is very big.
Not just the heart.
There's much more that's big, kid.
You're done for!
What do you both think you are?
If I expose your secret here now,
the clothes you're selling, the cosmetics you're selling,
everything will shut down!
All your followers will drop to zero! You won't be anything!
Kritika, I'm really scared, buddy!
Please, save me.
Manav, buddy?
Now, we're not friends, are we,
that you'll call me buddy?
-We spoke about it right. -Yes.
Look, Deven,
whatever you have to do with Manav later, you can do it.
Whatever you want to do with me, beat me, hit me, but
before that,
I've made an apology video for you.
From the heart.
-Please watch it. -Please.
Please.
I'll play it.
Hi, guys.
I know I look very sad.
What should I say to you guys?
'M' and I wanted a fresh and clean start for our love story.
But...
My brother has a friend.
His name is Deven.
You know, for me
my brother's friends are like brothers too.
I didn't even realize when
he started looking at me like that.
You guys won't believe he's a stalker. A stalker.
These are some screen-shots I'm attaching.
These are from his chats.
Messages he used to send me on Snapgram.
Just read how he used to send me messages.
And I never replied
but he kept sending them to me.
These pictures I had to blur...
Why did I have to blur them?
Because...
He used to send me pictures of his private parts, guys.
Hey!
-You... -No, brother.
You used to reply.
Unsend messages bro.
That's an option now, right?
Now it will seem like you were bothering the girl,
chasing her.
Call logs, you can find those 'private parts' pictures online.
We paid a lot of money to our editor.
Stop this crap!
Brother...
I'm your own, right?
So as your own,
please watch the entire video.
A lot of effort went into making this.
Should I play it?
Play it.
Now he's threatening me.
He's threatening that I have to...
That I have to...
send him my nudes.
What kind of scam is this!
If I don't do this,
he'll reveal 'M's identity to everyone.
That's why I thought that before Deven
does something weird,
I'll reveal 'M's identity to everyone myself.
So guys, 'M' is...
Manav Chaudhary.
You guys won't believe
Deven has some edited
photoshopped screen-shots to make me look bad.
You guys know how easily these things can be done nowadays.
It's been really tough.
But still,
I don't want you guys to say anything bad about him,
because I'm sure he's going through some
mental health issues too.
He's been in therapy for many years.
So tell me, Deven,
where will the sympathy go?
To the only son of a rich builder, or
to a poor middle-class girl
who is struggling to build her career?
Believe in women, bro.
See you, brother.
See you, bro.
-Shall we? -Shall we?
You were talking about cracking his skull...
-What happened? -But the video.
You really showed him who's boss. It was fun.
Absolutely not.
Manav, I'm feeling strange.
We're not bad people, right?
I've never done this to anyone before.
Oh, what are you saying? It's his fault.
He's an asshole.
Anyway, these property dealers, brokers,
I have no respect for them.
-My brother is also a property dealer. -He too...
-Huh? -I mean...
I just remembered your mom called me home.
When should I come?
I'll meet Manish as well.
Come on.
Come, Manav. Sit.
Where were you two?
I was talking to Manav about something personal...
Kittu!
Bring my asthma inhaler from inside.
Aunt, do you have asthma?
No, dear, but it will happen now.
-Rice. -Manish!
Come quickly, the food will get cold!
I won't reheat the food again. Hurry up!
-Paneer? -No, no. I'll take it.
Hi, Manish.
What is this?
Rajma rice and cottage cheese!
Mom, when such a big influencer couple has come home,
you should have ordered chicken from a 5-star, right?
Steel plate?
Mom, you should have taken out an expensive dinner set.
When will you understand?
This is against their style. They are big artists.
Popular couple, influencer couple.
Give me the spoon.
Dad, do you know how well their business is doing?
Brands are constantly approaching.
Collaborations keep pouring in.
Money is flowing in.
Manav, give me your personal assistant's number.
If I ever need to call... who knows, maybe you...
Aunt, the food is really good.
-Here, take more. -Yes.
If no one wants to talk, I'll eat in my room.
Come and take it.
It's okay, aunt. I'll eat the rajma.
Kritika!
All good?
Why do we have to resort to hate
to forget love?
The thing is...
We accept the love we think we deserve.
That's quite deep.
But it's not an original thought.
You know, your bluff idea was a bit risky.
What if Deven decides to take revenge tomorrow?
Just think about it once.
What could've happened?
Your identity would've been revealed.
Your face would've been revealed.
Then we would've been full-time content creators. Just imagine!
Actually, if you think about it, it's kind of cool.
Wake up every morning, and with you,
brainstorm content ideas,
then just chill, relax, and have fun.
No hassle of the metro.
No more scolding from Mathur.
No Excel formatting.
Nothing at all.
But now you'll say “but”
and sink all my hopes in this water, right?
Say it. But...
But it's not practical.
Tejal's GMAT score is out.
-98 percent. -What?
Yes! And she's already given the interview for a scholarship at her college.
That's going to be sorted.
But from my savings,
we'll only manage food and rent expenses.
I'll still need to take a loan.
And as a content creator
with no credit history, no one will give him a loan.
But a big company
will surely give a loan to their good employee.
Look, Manav, if your sister
doesn't become a world-famous economist,
she's going to hear a lot from me.
Because she's one of the reasons
my best friend is going away from me.
Sunny, what did you break now?
-I'm tired, man! -I don't know. Let's go.
Sunny. Sunny, one second.
Let's talk. What happened to you?
Akshat, I'm done.
I don't want to be your secret boyfriend.
I can't wait any longer.
You've been waiting till now.
Yes, I was waiting!
A person can wait for something
only as long as they have hope
that what they're waiting for will eventually come to them.
It will come.
You know I love you.
I love you, right? You know that.
Come on, don't you?
I'm hearing it for the first time.
What do you mean by that?
I've said it several times.
When? On the bed?
Saying 'I love you' while making out
and saying 'I love you' randomly in a spot are different.
What difference does it make?
What difference?
The difference between excitement and acceptance.
Okay.
One last time, okay. Sunny...
One last time.
My parents won't accept it.
They won't accept it, or you won't accept yourself?
Akshat... Akshat, look here.
I'll go with you, okay.
We'll tell them together.
Okay?
You don't understand, do you?
Your parents held your hand and dropped you off at the Pride March.
My parents comment on videos
where people like us are beaten up.
Clapping emojis, smiling emojis...
-Why don't you get it, man? -Okay.
Say it. Say it.
If you've decided, it's fine.
Yeah, fine.
Hey Sunny. Please, please.
Please, don't go Sunny. Please don't.
I'll change myself.
I'll do it. We'll hold hands and walk.
Sunny, I have no one else, man.
Tell me, who will I share my secrets with?
You can share all your life's secrets
with me...
but you can't share our reality with the world.
Akshat...
I can't do this.
I told you, I'll work on myself. I...
Then go.
You're being dramatic. Go!
Son of a gun! Is anything in your lives real?
One is running from his identity.
One is running from his talent.
And one is obsessed with fake relationships.
Sunny...
Are you okay?
Will you be okay?
Has anyone answered that question honestly?
I'm fine.
I will be fine.
You drank a lot, right?
-I can still take it. -You know,
I had no idea
that my boyfriend would turn out to be toxic.
I had no idea
that my timing of love will turn out to be toxic.
My turn. My turn.
I had no idea
that the expectations of the society
will prove to be toxic for my love.
-No, it hurts. It hurts. -Sorry, bro.
It's fresh.
My turn.
I can't remember any abuses.
And I shouldn't use abusive words anyway, but
Darn with love...
-One more time. -No.
Look, I respect love a lot.
I believe in love.
But just for the two of you...
Darn with love!
-To heck with love! -Heck with it!
Drat this love!
Curse this love!
Sorry.
-Sorry. -Sorry.
-It was... -Manav!
Don't go.
Please.
Everyone has to go one day.
Then I will have to go as well.
No, no. Not so soon.
-Manav. -Thank you.
What's this you're pulling out now?
-Let's talk business now. -Business?
His energy seems endless.
If you've still got that much energy, then run!
Go on, run, use that energy!
Do this! Do push-ups!
No.
Either you accept
that there's nothing in Gurgaon.
Stay here. Content creation is the thing.
Think about it.
When you get famous because of content creation,
girls, boys,
all the genders will be like,
"Manav! Manav!"
-Secondly... -Yes?
You'll be saved from that corporate brokering.
And third, the most important thing,
what those people earn in a month,
you'll earn in one day's work.
Wow! Money! Money!
-Hats off to you. -Thanks.
He's still pitching.
He's pitching at the bus stop,
it'll continue in Gurgaon too.
It'll even continue in the morning
while I'm reading the newspaper in the bathroom.
I knew you wouldn't agree.
That's why I've made a well-thought-out plan.
An amazing plan.
On existing videos, we'll
do commentary and
what do you call it... reaction videos.
-Really? -Yes.
Minimal effort, but likes and engagement will keep increasing.
And the best part,
you both can do it in your own space.
You don't have to do anything. I'll handle the rest.
I'm here. Wait, hold on.
-Help. -Hurry up!
Help, a little. Nails... Yeah, okay.
Watch this.
I'll hold it.
Watch this.
Hold on.
Are people from Delhi crazy?
They get into a trance.
Yes. Oh, these are the same people, you know,
who buy one flat
and think they've bought the entire building.
The whole staff is ours. Everyone's a servant of our father.
These are the same people who
book an economy class ticket for a flight,
but expect 5-star treatment.
And these are the people who go to the theatre,
thinking both armrests are theirs,
one hand here, one hand there,
and their feet on the person's head in front!
And the ones who go beat up doctors
because their relatives didn't get better in one dose.
Oh shit!
-Did you realize? -What?
No?
That's why you shouldn't drink. I'm sober.
Listen, for the first time, both of you
aren't agreeing to disagree
but agreeing to agree.
-Yes. -Agree to agree?
-Agree to agree?
Agree to agree.
It's because we're drunk.
I'll miss you, buddy.
Me too.
I'll miss you.
Quick, check the account, Manav.
Akshat made a video of our discussion without telling us.
It's a hit. We've gained 5000 followers.
We're back baby!
I've seen these couple videos.
It's the next big thing.
I'm seeing it for the first time.
By the way, influencers are killing it.
We are here, dying in the corporate culture, wearing pants and shirts.
And these guys, looking all stylish, are enjoying their lives.
No sucking up to the boss.
That's true.
Did Mathur call you for a meeting at 9 PM too?
No, man.
You're going to be screwed.
You randomly took a leave without informing.
I mean, just because we're working doesn't mean
someone can't have a hip fracture at home, right?
Dude, we're all birds in a cage.
But our cage costs fifty-five thousand. Got it?
'There's nothing in Gurgaon.'
'Stay here. Content creation is the thing.'
'What those people earn in a month, '
'you'll earn in one day's work.'
Manav.
Sir.
Look Manav,
I don't like micromanaging.
It's not my type.
You're looking at that image.
I personally selected that.
Just because I want...
not just you, but every employee in this office, everyone...
That...
Speak your mind.
-Got it? -Yes, sir. Definitely. I'll do it.
By the way, what about that file?
I had already mailed it to you.
You did mail it, but why isn't the excel file color-coded?
And why did you use the font Georgia?
The font has to be Helvetica 14. Right?
-Okay, sir. -Get back to work.
Yes, sir.
Let me speak my mind.
Speak in Helvetica 14.
Our future is here.
The university has sent an email. Any update on the loan application?
Let them know, it will take just one more week.
This account has been temporarily suspended for violating Snapgram.
But we're friends. You can do something.
Oh, okay. Cool, man. Thanks.
What happened?
Akshat!
They've suspended the account.
What the hell!
Just a minute. But why?
Was the reaction video reported for abuse
or was the comment against the IP? What exactly...
They're saying that some algorithm has given us fake videos,
fake followers, fake views...
'Can I give a suggestion?'
'If followers aren't increasing, buy some.'
'Some Bollywood actors do that.'
Shit!
Kritika,
hold on.
The followers that we gained didn't come from today's video.
What did you do?
I bought followers and views.
I thought it would boost the video.
It'll be good for the video.
Shit!
That creator who was here, Mantasha...
-She gave me the number and the idea. -So, you...
Akshat...
Kritika, have you lost it?
They can delete your account!
Then sit and cry.
Akshat...