What is this, Timmy?
Seriously? 17 video calls? What happened?
Sorry, Queen.
But I haven't eaten.
Why?
HKC! Happy Karva Chauth.
Come on, break your fast.
By the way,
Dad has started shouting "MAGS. "
MAGS?
Marry And Get Settled!
By the way, guess who is playing matchmaker?
"Show the photo?"
-Happy World Vegan Day! -Happy World Vegan Day!
-Happy Diwali to you too! -Happy Diwali to you too!
I know of a perfect, suitable boy for Ayushi.
You're coming to the wedding next month, right?
-Yes. -I'll introduce the boy to Ayushi then.
What kind of a boy is he?
He lives in London.
London is indeed too good but…
is he a good guy?
He is a top neurosurgeon cum insect-collector!
Cockroach, grasshoppers.
-Insect? -World record holder.
-Show them the photo. -Yeah…
See this.
He removed a six-inch tumor from this brain.
Yeah…
The patient died but…
the size of the tumor? World record!
-Lovely. -Oh!
What do the boy's parents do? I mean they must be…
Father is a proctologist, mother is a gynecologist.
-Show them the photo. -Please don't.
-Why? -Why?
I mean
father is a proctologist, mother is a gynecologist--
God knows what photo you'll show us.
Come on!
So funny, Sanju.
I was about to show you a photo of the family.
See. The family.
I don't see the family.
They're sitting inside the car, Pallavi.
-Oh. -Mother, father, pet dog, grandmother.
What an epic family!
Who are sitting in the car and are completely invisible!
Dad…
Yes…
Jatin, how is the boy?
He's 6'1".
House at Harrow on the Hills.
Heated swimming pool. They have four dogs!
-Is it? -Yeah.
But she's going to marry the boy.
-Again! Naughty boy. -Uncle!
Uncle, we're asking you about the boy's nature.
Oh yes, he has it.
And?
He's a golfer, Tisca.
What?!
Falu, show them the photo.
See.
See! Can you see his nature?
Isn't it bright green?
Perfect match.
-Falu… -Yes?
I beg you.
Will the boy's values match Ayushi's?
Ramesh, even if you search high and low,
you won't be able to find a boy like him.
That's what I've been trying to ask you.
-Yeah. -Thank you.
Please help yourselves.
It's so beautiful.
As Sanju says, "too good!"
Two good, three good, four good, five good, ten good, fifteen good!
Show me yours.
I'll wear it and show you on that day.
Thank you.
Guys, I'm going.
Bye.
Bye?
I'm going to meet Timmy.
Mom, I forgot to tell you.
Me and Timmy have done it.
As in? Done what?
Bank robbery.
Obviously I'm talking about sex, Mom.
Come with me.
Sit down.
Did you take precaution?
Of course, we always do.
But we're just friends with benefits.
No strings attached.
-Dad… -Then keep it to yourself.
I have to tell Dad. He needs to understand--
Understand? You expect Ramesh to understand?
That you're okay with premarital sex but not marriage?
-Really? -Point.
Ramesh's brain will get a heart attack!
Listen… we're attending the wedding on Saturday.
Ramesh is excited about you meeting Pinkesh.
And you're just-- What are you even saying?
Fine! Fine!
I will meet that Dr. Pinkesh Popat.
But I have to tell Dad.
Fine! Go to the Wadala shop right now.
Ramesh is waiting for you there.
You… send an ambulance to the shop.
Book a doctor's appointment too!
Madam Hem-Pallavi… call me an idiot as well!
Well, we'll have to book a doctor's appointment.
I missed my periods.
What?
It's been two weeks.
Serious?
Wow!
What a day!
Full of news!
Have you confirmed it?
-I did. It is inconclusive but… -Okay…
I'll confirm it with
-a urine test tomorrow. -Urine test.
-Too good! -Too good!
-Careful! -Be careful.
-Yes, be careful… -Don't tell anyone yet.
-Okay? -Yes!
I liked the red one. Do you know?
-The one that the bride was using. -That was nice.
-It was like good looking and-- -The color was--
-They're here. -Yeah…
-Pose for the picture. -Yeah.
Say cheese!
By the way, this is Tisca
-and this is Ayushi. -Namaste, Uncle.
Your grandfather Mansukhbhai…
-very charming man. -Yeah.
I'm so sorry, I forgot.
He is Dr. Pinkesh's father,
Dr. Suketu Popat.
Show them the photo.
-Yes. -He's right here.
He looks different in photos.
See.
-He really does look different. -Isn't it?
We couldn't recognize him either.
Smile.
We haven't been served starters yet, Pallavi.
None of the waiters are coming here…
Hey! Pink turban…
bring it here.
He took it to that table.
-No one is serving us starters. -He will get it.
Are you here just to eat?
What else for?
Back in our village, we had a secret code.
"Hey, Sheela, are you attending the wedding?"
Well, I'm here to eat but
those pink-turbans haven't served any starters yet!
Pink turban…
-They will come. -None of them are around.
Hello.
-Finally, here's a pink-turban. -Everything alright?
-Nothing is alright! -Oh, no.
I've asked your friends so many times to serve starters but they haven't.
Go and get them.
Hemlata…
he is Jatin's relative.
Oh, sorry.
Pinkesh's father.
Seeing the pink turban, I--
-Sorry. -No problem.
It's the third time this has happened tonight.
In that case, ask them to serve us starters.
Of course.
I'll send the starters over.
Make yourselves comfortable, okay?
Nandu, serve them starters.
Shouldn't have worn a pink turban!
No! Don't!
Nothing.
Hey, Mr. Popat's twin.
See, he's serving food at that table again!
He's just not serving us food.
No!
I'll go and see about the food, Baa.
Don't worry.
Come with me, Ayushi.
You too, Tisca. Hurry up.
Finally! I've been waiting…
Eat as much as you want.
Something is fishy, Baa.
Correct.
They've made this cashew cutlet with peanuts!
Something is going on with Ayushi.
What?
Mom, I'm telling Dad about me and Timmy.
Is this the right time to tell him?
What do you think? You think you can change Ramesh overnight?
No, but…
Greece was not built in a day.
Rome was not built in a day.
And Greece was built in a day, is it?
Mrs. Wren and Martin.
Please make her see reason.
Mom, my test reports are out.
-It's positive. -Yeah?
What!
-Oh, my God! -Oh, my God!
-You're pregnant. -I'm so happy.
Should I tell Mr. Too Good?
Wait!
Let us surprise him.
-Yeah. -Okay.
-Hi. -Hi, sir.
-Hello? -Hello, Sanju?
Where are you?
I am at our new apartment.
To check the lights and dimmers.
When will you return home?
Sometime around 11:00 p. m. Why?
Nothing, I wanted to talk about Pinkesh.
Finish your work and let's meet at 11:00 p. m.
-Okay? -Okay.
-Bye. -Bye.
Okay, guys.
We'll go to the new apartment and surprise Sanju.
-Okay? -Yeah.
-This is awesome news. -I know, can't wait.
Diana…
please stay.
How long will this go on?
Just for tonight.
I'll sort it out.
Promise?
Promise.
Aww!
Why do I always get cute guys like you?
-Mom, Pallavi. -Let it be.
He is Dr. Pinkesh.
-Hello… -Please sit.
Doctor and part-time beach clean up marshal.
-Plastic bags, coconut shells. -Come on, Falu Auntie.
Enough of my achievements else you'll go on…
Ayushi, right?
-Our daughter. -Yeah.
-Hey. -Hi.
Falu Auntie tells me that you're a confectioner.
-Yes. -Of course…
She makes amazing egg less cakes.
-I see! -That too, without eggs.
-That's why I tell Ayushi not to add-- -Ramesh…
you're already married. Now it's their turn.
Isn't it?
-Why don't you two get acquainted? -Quiet.
Of course, and I'll get champagne.
-Shall we? -Yeah, sure.
-Please, after you. -Thank you.
-I'll just come. -Yeah.
Those fools have been hiding the champagne.
I'm sorry, where were we?
-I don't know… -Confectioner.
-So, you-- -Actually, life is a lot more than
egg less cakes.
I'm a theater actress.
-So, I have-- -Of course.
I mean, I'll allow my wife to pursue
silly hobbies like, theater and drama.
But, the script has to be approved by me.
How kind of you.
Come on! Thank you.
Here you go.
-Thank you. -You know…
husband and wife are equal.
God has made them equal.
Even when one of the partners is completely handsome…
and the other is…
you know…
a little healthy?
If my wife…
If my wife wants to lead her life as an average, ordinary homemaker
I don't mind.
In fact, I'll pay her full salary.
-Salary? -Yeah, but…
Well, you know…
she has to give me an account for all her expenses.
You know…
I'm old-school when it comes to these things.
So, visiting the beauty parlor in order to look pretty…
can your wife go to the salon by herself or
does she need the husband's permission?
Of course.
Facial, manicure, pedicure… it's a must.
But she should not cut her hair.
You see, the beauty of a woman…
is measured by the length of her hair.
And, beauty of gents?
Now Baa will go off!
Is that measured by the length of his "tindora"?
"Tindora"?
Come here, Popat junior, I'll explain.
Come here, idiot.
Mummy--
Keep quiet, Jatin.
Falu, show him a photo of a quiet man!
Pinkesh, you fool…
a girl is beautiful only if she has long hair, is it?
I didn't have any hair for a year…
when I had cancer.
Do you know what Papa said when I was bald?
Well…
What had Papa said?
-I'd said-- -Keep quiet.
What had Papa said?
Bald is beautiful.
Yeah…
Of course.
"Of course!"
Are you a potential groom or my mother-in-law?
What?
Where's the principal of your "old school"?
Mr. Popat…
Forget them and come here, Mr. Popat.
What's wrong?
Starters still not here?
Forget the starters.
-Take him away. -Mummy!
Hemlata, enough now.
No, Papa…
Baa is right.
Pinkesh, my son…
you think homemakers are ordinary?
I didn't mean it that way.
I think homemakers are extraordinary.
Not just my own wife,
I feel this way for everyone's wives.
Dad…
Pure feelings! Very pure.
-100% pure vegetarian. -Yeah.
Ayurvedic.
No chemicals.
Sit down, Ramesh. We get it.
-Hey-- -We got it.
-Everyone gets it. -It's okay, Dad.
If you'll excuse me for a second.
I'll just…
Sir, can I take a group photo?
-Yeah. -Of course.
-Let's take a photo. -Yes.
-Good idea. -That's a very good idea.
-Tisca. -Tisca!
-Come. -Smile.
Is there something stuck in my teeth? It'll come off.
Pose for the photo.
Just give me a minute.
Mr. Popat, sorry.
I don't have control over what I say.
No, one must always say the truth.
In that case…
the starters weren't tasty.
How much did it cost?
-Well, what do I-- -Baa!
-They overcharged you. -Dad, Tisca is pregnant.
Start with your zinc tablet immediately.
And I'm having an affair with Timmy.
Smile.
Friends with benefits.
Smile, Dad.
Guys.
Sanju's car is in the parking lot
-that means he's upstairs. -Is he?
22nd floor, Sanjay Dholakia.
Sanjay Dholakia?
There's no one with this name.
My brother has bought apartment number 2202.
2202?
Oh, Sanjuoy!
S-A-N-J-U-O-Y
Sanjuoy.
He spent 50,000 rupees to change the spelling, madam.
-Okay. -Ayushi, Timmy is-- Ayushi!
I'll go up and send you a message.
-And then you come up. -Okay.
-Got it? Know the plan? -You've said it five times.
-Go ahead. -Okay.
Ayushi, by friends with benefits, you mean…
Grandpa.
Ramesh, my son, sit down.
Timmy is the long-haired guy, isn't it?
Yes.
But he's a Christian.
-He's a Jew. -Dad!
Of course he'll have lice.
He has such long and curly hair.
What?!
Right.
Anyways, C21S28O3 doesn't work nowadays.
We should tell him about Jasmolin.
Chemist Ramesh!
Jew meaning people who follow Judaism.
-Yeah. -Right.
Yeah, but, tell me, Tisca.
What kind of benefits do friends with benefits have?
Ramesh…
you see Timmy…
comes to our house and washes Ayushi's clothes.
Next time, I'll ask him to wash mine as well!
Sanjay.
It's been five minutes since Ayushi went up.
She hasn't sent a message yet.
-My kidney sure has sent me a message! -What?
I need to go to the washroom.
Let's go up.
-Okay. -Call and inform them.
-Yeah, we can do that. -Yeah.
We'll go to the washroom first and then give them a surprise.
-Okay. -Let's go.
Shalom Khan!
-Shalom… -Ramesh M. Dholakia, Always Chemists
Bandra, Worli, Lower Parel, Andheri
and three franchises
and sole agent for Virginia sanitary napkins.
He won't need any, son.
No?
-Thank you. -Hey!
-Shalom Khan! -Yeah…
-Hi. -How are you?
Good.
Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?
Do you have conjunctivitis?
No, Auntie it's--
-It's… -Cataract?
At such a young age?
Grandma, it's a style.
Okay…
My son has a big apartment.
Cool.
Big fan.
-Big fan! -You mean he has a big "air conditioner. "
Mom is his big fan.
I've seen all your films.
Your film with Deepika…
"Ajnabee Friends. "
No, I haven't watched that one.
-Another film. -"Masterplan"?
That film was so bad.
-We stopped watching it midway. -Yeah.
-"Murder at Mumbai Central. " -No.
We don't watch violent films.
We're Gujaratis after all.
-"Namaste Sister. " -"Doctor. "
-Was he in that film?
-Yes. -Wow!
What a great film.
When the actress takes out her heart and transplants it in you…
Your lines were epic.
What were his lines?
Honia--
-Sonia-- -Keep quiet.
"Sonia, are you really giving me your heart?"
Really?
Really.
I cried so much… so much
that my snack got wet!
Excuse me.
Her bowl of snacks that she was eating
got wet with her tears.
Can we take a selfie, please?
Of course. Come.
-Come. -Come, son.
Yeah.
Smile and say cheese!
-Cheese. -Both?
Yes.
Cheese.
And…
thank you.
-Such a nice photo. -Let me see.
-Check it out! It's such nice photo. -Let me see.
Ayushi… you?!
What are you doing here?
Sanju… you?!
What are you doing like this?
Too good.
Just too good.
Ayushi, I…
I was exercising.
Actually, I was showering.
It's okay. Calm down.
They just fell off.
Hey, Ayushi.
What are you doing? Give me my clothes back.
Where's the balcony? I'm going to throw them out.
Hey!
You and Diana are rolling in the hay, Sanjay?
No. You've got it all wrong.
Say that "You and Diana are rolling in the hay, Sanjuoy!"
Sorry.
-You and Diana are rolling in the hay-- -Stop!
Just please go!
Yeah, I'll go and get everyone.
Grandma will say, "you idiot!
Hope the affair was with a Gujarati woman!"
And Dad…
"Sanju, my son… why are you wearing spandex?
This will give you jock itch.
Want me to give you an ointment?
I mean, generally…"
But Tisca…
she will get rid of all your itches.
Ayushi!
Ayushi! Listen!
If they come up, I'm fucked!
Yeah, I can see that.
How many times?
-Twice. -Oh!
And where's your fuck buddy?
-Come out, you bitch Diana! -Ay--
Ayushi!
I can explain.
Explain.
Explain to your pregnant wife.
Mr. About-to-be-father-again.
Ayushi, it's not what you think it is.
It's not Diana.
Then who?
Me.
Hi.
Sanju, you were straight…
but gay?
Or bi?
What happened?
We just love each other, Ayushi.
That's what happened.