Yoyo, today you have a spelling test?
-[Yohan] Yup... - Say, "Yes", not yup.
Are you prepared?
-[Rishabh] Shef? - Don't interrupt, Rish.
- Yohan, have you studied? -[Yohan] Yes.
[Jia] Mom, what's for breakfast?
Jia, it's scrambled egg, baby.
Yohan, spell breakfast.
-[Jia] Scrambled egg again? No. -[Rishabh] Shef!
What is it Rish?
-[Yohan] B-R-A-K-E-F-A-S-T. - Very good.
Jia, would you like to have upma?
-[Jia] Yuck. No. -[Rishabh] Shef!
What, Rish? What!
Yohan, spell irritating.
[Yohan] I-R-R-I-T-I-T-I-N-G.
[Rishabh] What's so irritating?
Jia, do you want Maggie?
-[Yohan] I do. - You first spell instant.
-[Yohan] I-N-S-T-E-N-T. -[Shefali] Very good.
-[Rishabh] Shef. - One minute.
Jia, would you like to have some sago khichri?
Uhh, okay.
[Rishabh] Shefali.
What do you mean "uhh, okay"?
To make sago khichri...
...we have to first soak the sago, right?
Now, who's going to soak the sago?
Yohan, spell comfortable.
T-A-B-L-E.
Jia, do you want some cornflakes?
-[Jia] Yeah, okay. -[Yohan] Yes.
Cornflakes with chilli sauce.
Get ready and come downstairs. I'm making it.
[Rishabh] S-Shef...
Rish, why have you been screaming for so long?
[Rishabh] Well, where are my kachche (underwear)?
I'm stuck in this towel forever.
Oh, my God, Rish! Who says kachche?
[Yohan] K-A-C-H-C-H-E.
[Title Montage]
I thought this week for a little while we should have a one-to-one chat.
Because there are certain things...
...which we hesitate to say...
...in front of our loved ones.
Right.
So, for a little while, you can freely talk about Rishabh's shortcomings.
A little while won't suffice.
I think I need years to talk about it.
Go ahead.
I think, when Rishabh gets excited...
...he starts swearing unnecessarily.
And specially, when he's watching IPL, kabaddi, cricket, football or hockey.
And it's really upsetting.
Ohkay.
[TV playing]
Come on, catch it...
What the hell! What is he doing?
Doesn't he have hands, psycho baldie?
Brother, this fielder is from my village.
He never used to let me play.
I know his family very well.
[Zoravar] They are very corrupt.
- They sell adulterated milk. - What are you saying?
So, dropping a catch isn't a big deal for him.
- I want you to cuss out his uncles, neighbours, all his relatives. - Yeah.
Destroy their family.
Here you go.
[Rishabh] Thank you, Zoru, man.
- Two balls to go. Will we win? - It's very difficult. Very.
I mean, how can you do this?
Yohan is like a sponge when it comes to bad habits.
He learns anything wrong in a jiffy.
But he still doesn't know to sing the national anthem.
A good-for-nothing anti-national!
So, how do you manage?
Oh, no! Catch... What the hell is this man doing?
- Actually, Zoravar, it wasn't his fault at all. - Hmm.
You know, when you look up, the light falls on your eyes.
- Yes. - Yes. - Yea, that's why he couldn't catch it.
- Right. - You're absolutely right.
Brother, this fielder is also from my village.
But he's not corrupt.
- Popcorn. - Thank you.
- High-five? - No.
- Thank you. - Sister? Sorry.
And it's not just this.
Rishabh has got some cheap habits...
...which are very embarrassing.
Hmm, interesting. Such as?
Well, if we are throwing a party...
Obviously, there will be snacks at the party.
Rishabh always goes after the last piece...
...without asking anyone else. It's ridiculous.
So, you must have found a way to manage this too.
I did.
So, do you know, Kanta and Junaid bhai, they broke up!
What?
Who are Kanta and Junaid bhai?
While playing Kho kho last time, they suffered a fracture.
Oh! So, they are Kho kho players? Athletes, wow.
No, Shyam babu. They aren't athletes.
How do I put this? These people are fond of experimenting. Got it?
Oh! You mean, they're scientists. Double wow.
-[Shyam] So, you were saying something. - Yes, you know...
Rishabh.
I thought this week for a little while we should have a one-to-one chat.
Because there are certain things...
...which we hesitate to say...
- ...in front of our loved ones. - Hmm.
So, is there anything about Shefali that you want to tell me in private?
No.
Something about her that really bothers you.
No. Shef is super.
- Are you sure? - Hmm.
There must be something which even you are tired of.
What do you mean "even you"?
Is Shef tired of something related to me?
Did she say anything?
I hope she didn't tell you about the P.T.A. meeting.
What happened at the P.T.A. meeting?
According to you.
Nothing. It was Yohan's P.T.A. meeting.
[Rishabh] When I reached there after fighting the traffic...
...the class was empty.
And I was the only soul in there. All alone.
It was so lonely.
But then a very sophisticated man entered the room...
...in matching shirt-pant.
He smiled at me.
I smiled back at him.
Then I shook his hand.
He shook my hand, too.
And then he asked me to take a seat.
He told me not to worry about Yoyo at all.
Because even though Yoyo is strange, he is a good kid.
And everything works out in the end.
Then?
After hearing all this about Yohan, my eyes welled up.
I went back home rejoicing, you know.
I was just so proud.
And then I learnt that the class was empty...
...because the P.T.A. meeting was over.
And Badrinath was not a teacher.
He was a peon...
...with whom Yohan shares his lunch everyday.
Which is very sweet.
But I'm very happy that Shefali didn't talk to you about it.
But, Doc...
There's one thing which I dislike about Shefali.
Baby, what do you think about this dress?
- It's really nice. - Shall I buy it?
Of course. Yellow looks really good on you.
- I'm done with my homework. - Oh, good.
- Do you want to check? - No, baby. I trust you.
Cool. So, can I go and watch The Great Adventure?
Okay. But when they start swearing, please cover your ears. Please.
- Okay. - Bye.
Check his homework.
But you just said that you trust him.
I trust him, you don't. Check his homework.
Look, science homework is incomplete.
Tomorrow, he'll go to school and copy his homework...
...from Pratik with an "IK" before the class starts.
Ask... Ask him...
Yohan, your science homework is incomplete.
From Pratik with an "IK"...
Are you going to copy from Pratik with an "IK"?
-[Yohan] Yes, Dad. - Okay.
Okay means?
It's okay, Yohan. That's a great idea, baby.
- Better fix this. - You...
Mom, Dad. I'm going out. What's the deadline?
Come on, Jia.
You make us sound like some 80s parents, baby.
I trust you. Come back whenever you want.
- Take the key. - Bye, Mom. Thanks. Love you.
- Love you. - Bye.
Not a minute after 12 o'clock. Tell her.
Shef, you just said that "I trust you..."
She's about to leave. Tell her now.
Not a minute after 12 o'clock.
What, Mom?
Come on, Rishabh.
She's a grown-up, man. You can come back whenever you want, Jia.
Okay.
Not a minute after 12 o'clock. And say it like you mean it, Rish.
Not a minute after 12 o'clock. And I'm saying it like I mean it.
Mom?
Your dad has made up his mind. What can I say?
Rishabh, let her come back at 1 o'clock.
O... No... No.
Not a minute after 12 o'clock.
Everyone in this house is driving me crazy.
You guys!
Guys.
Yes.
I know that you'll say no without giving it a thought.
But I want to get a tattoo.
In fact, I've decided to get a tattoo.
Tattoo?
Awesome...
Awesome. Awesome, dear.
- Really? - Absolutely.
Any idea what you're going to get tattooed.
I haven't thought about the design but...
...I was thinking something small and cute.
Maybe on my wrist.
Why don't you get "Daddy's little girl" written on your wrist?
It will be so nice. Right, Shef?
Why are you settling for a small tattoo, baby?
Get a big one on your shoulder.
Make sure it's worth the pain and the money. Right, Rish?
Absolutely...
[Rishabh] I can't agree more.
In fact, why stop at the shoulder?
Get a tattoo all over your body. Right?
- Like Riana. - It's Rihanna...
- Rihanna. - Like Rihanna.
Get two wings over here. Okay?
And get a python tattooed on your back.
And your spinal cord will be the tree.
So, it's climbing up the tree.
What do you think?
[Dia] I was thinking something small.
Maybe like a cupid.
Dear, what do we emphasise all the time?
Always think big. Think big.
Correct. Think big.
In fact, think bigger.
You don't like python, right? No python.
Elephant? Do you like an elephant? Elephant!
Get an elephant tattooed on your back.
Why just one? Get two.
Right? They won't feel lonely that way.
And get a small, cute cupid tattooed on top of it.
So they look like they are in love.
Well, two elephants it is.
[Shefali] Yeah, that's it. Think big, right?
Fine, then I'll go with an elephant.
Proud of you...
Are you out of your mind?
Go tell her that she can't do it.
Oh, no... If you want to say no, go and tell her.
Is that so?
Rish, I know what you're up to.
Go and say no to her.
Even I know what you're up to.
I'm not a fool.
You want changes, you go get them.
But the elephant was your idea, right? So, you've to go.
Well, I love elephants. I consider them to be my friend.
I'm not going anywhere. I'm not moving from this couch.
All right. Let her get it tattooed.
Two elephants in love with a cupid.
And let her get "Daddy's little girl" written over here.
So, anyone smart will know...
...which parent has influenced her.
- Fine. - Fine. - Excellent. - Excellent.
- Sounds great to me. - Okay then.
- Let her go for it. - Let her do it.
[Rishabh] Stop staring at me, Doc.
I know that an elephant can't actually be my friend.
And I solved Dia's tattoo problem, you know.
Oh.
Thank you, Mom.
Guys, I have decided...
...to not get a tattoo.
[Shefali] Why? What happened, Dia?
After talking to you guys, I had a discussion with Jia.
She actually told me that...
...getting a tattoo is pointless and baseless because...
...what if tomorrow I want a rat instead of an elephant?
- You know? - Hmm.
But you're getting, "Daddy's little girl" aren't you?
Maybe, next year, Dad.
Okay. You do what you want.
[Shefali] I'm proud of you, Dia.
[Jia snapping finger]
[Shefali] Eat properly.
Hey. What's going on here?
We had agreed on 2,500 bucks.
The ATM ran out of money.
I'll pay you the rest when happier days arrive.
Okay.
Now that we've spoken in private...
...it's time to discuss few problems together.
Who wants to go first?
- Me... Me. - Hmm. - Me.
-[Gulfam] Okay. - Okay? - Okay. Go ahead.
See, it's really very simple, Doc.
Basically, I get very tired of taking care of the house, the family...
...shopping, laundry, kitchen...
...and so many other things.
And sometimes, if I end up behaving like a psycho...
...that I truly believe is because...
...I'm an essentially overworked housewife.
And Rishabh... Well, he's not really of much help.
In fact, he doesn't even know how to try.
- What do you mean by a psycho? - I'll tell you.
Rish, do you know that Shyam is buying a Smart TV?
What? When?
Radha was telling me, it could be delivered anytime now.
- Oh my God! - What happened?
[Shefali] He's Ali, isn't he?
Ali who?
You know, that extra cute actor.
[Shefali] Tall, handsome, good-looking.
Last week you were watching a movie starring him, right?
- Jia and Abdul. - You wish.
- Oh, yeah. That good-for-nothing. -[Shefali] Exactly.
- I think I should go talk to him. - Why?
For Yoyo. Yoyo is such a big fan of him.
I'm going to do it.
- Dad, let's go, too. - Wait here.
Excuse me...
Hi, Abdul. I mean, Ali...
Your acting was so natural, you know.
Thank you for the compliment. Thanks.
Umm… You’re welcome.
- Ali. - Yes. - I have a favour to ask.
Actually, my son is a very big fan of yours.
How sweet!
And it would be wonderful if you could record a birthday wish for him.
He's going to go bonkers. Let me record it.
Well, it's not like he's a normal kid anyway. But thank you.
Okay. What's your son's name?
Yoyo.
You can call him Yohan. He's going to be nine.
- Yeah? - Nine.
- Okay. Ready? - Alright.
- Recording? - Yes.
Hi, Yohan. Happy birthday, bro.
Ah... You're a big boy now.
Stay happy, have a blast. And see you at the movies.
- Aww... - Thank you.
- That's so sweet. - Anytime.
Actually, you can ask him...
...to cover his ears when you actors swear in the movies.
Shef, let's go.
One minute. I'm sure Ali agrees with me.
Yeah, of course.
- Of course. - Yeah. -[Ali] Of course, okay.
- Yes, come on. -[Ali] Okay.
Yohan, when we swear on screen...
...we are acting.
So, don't swear in real life.
And if you hear me swear in my movies...
Oh okay. Please cover your ears like this.
- Okay? So, all the best. - Okay. - Okay.
Ali... Please tell him...
...that he can watch your movies only after finishing his homework.
- Otherwise, my Yoyo will certainly fail. - Mom, stop it. - Yeah.
- Hi, I'm Jia. - Hi, Jia. - You, stop that! Huh?
Nobody cares about Yoyo's future.
Ali, let's do it.
- Mm... - Home work... - Right.
Yohan, please finish your homework first...
...and then you can watch my movies.
Okay, bye now.
Otherwise, you will become a good-for-nothing in real life.
Well, now you tell him...
...Yohan, it's dangerous to ride a motorcycle.
What?
Yohan, it's dangerous to ride a motorcycle.
Yoyo, it's dangerous to ride a motorcycle.
- Let's go. - If you want to ride one, wear a helmet.
If you want to ride one, wear a helmet.
Mom, enough. Let's go.
One minute. I'm not quite done here. One minute.
Ali, you can also say this.
No smoking, no drinking and no drugs.
Yeah.
Ma'am, I'm actually in the middle of something.
And I have to go.
- No problem. Thank you... - Oh, I see...
So, cold coffee is more important to you...
...than instructing right things to a boy like Yohan.
Yes, Ali? What type of lazy youth icon are you?
I mean, this is completely unacceptable behaviour.
You first asked me to wish your son on his birthday.
But you have made me give a moral science lecture...
...to that poor birthday boy.
Don't mind me. But I think you should take it a little easy.
[Ali] In life.
Otherwise, Yoyo will run away when he grows up.
Here. Have some cold coffee. Might help.
God bless you. Bye.
I'm going to leave. Thank you. Bye, kids.
Actually, I think he got overwhelmed looking at so many people.
- We, Malhotras, can be a little overwhelming sometimes. - Yeah...
- Right? - Totally. - Absolutely. Come...
Okay? Let's eat at home. Keep moving... Please let's go.
Hmm...
I think we should try something different.
Look, you both have complained enough about each other.
Now, tell me something good about one another.
Shefali, you go first.
Ah... Okay.
Rishabh is less annoying than his mom.
In fact, he's a way better person than her.
Actually, scratch that.
He is a little bit better than his mom and he is less irritating.
Okay.
Now I want you, Rishabh...
...to say a few good things about Shefali.
Shef. About Shef... Shef.
Yes. Shef has all our kids' names at the tip of her tongue.
Huh? And you don’t?
I mean that she knows the names of all our kids' friends.
- Oh. - Actually, that's true.
- Rishabh can't remember anything. - No.
In fact, he doesn't remember the kids' names or their parents' names.
He will mix-up everything.
As if it's not names, but musical chairs.
- Good. - Good?
So, this is a new exercise which you can try together.
Shefali, you can help Rishabh.
Remember, it's team work which builds a strong team.
I did try.
- Okay, Rish? - Yeah.
Tomorrow is Prateek with a double-E's birthday party.
All of Yohan's classmates and their parents will be attending.
- We've got to get this right. - We've got it.
- Focus now. - Focused.
- Ready? - Yeah...
Parents of Prateek with an "EK" come to greet us. What would you say?
Puneet and Puneeta, it's been so long.
- Excellent. - Yes.
- Okay. Moving on. - Yeah.
Then parents of Pratik with an "IK" come and say hello to you.
How are you going to respond?
Ashok and Chandni, it's been so long.
No.
Deepak and Deepika, hi.
- No. - It's been so long. Ravi and Revati, it's been so long.
- Ravi and Reva. - Ravi and Reva. I knew this.
- Ravi and Reva. Got it. - Okay. Moving on. - Yup.
What's Aditya and Chandni's son's name?
Aditya and Chandni, it's been so long.
Aditya and Chandni, it's been so long. Your son is so cute.
What's their son's name?
- Kabir! - No.
- Kiran. - No.
Kaustav. Karan. It's Karan...
Kavish, Kishore. Kishmish.
Kumar? Kumari?
Kumari! Vihan.
- Vihan. I knew this. - Yeah. - I've got it. It's there.
- Okay. Situation. - Yeah.
- You're helping out with the snacks. - Yeah.
- One snack is glutton free. - Yes.
- You have to give it to one kid. - Right.
- Whom will you give it to? - Vihan.
You just killed Ishan.
You know what?
I suddenly remembered. You can't make it to the party.
Why can't I make it to the party?
Because you have an appointment with someone...
...at that same place, at that same time.
Yes!
I have an appointment with someone...
...at that same place, at that same time.
I can't come. I'm sorry.
- You can't. - Yes.
Miracle.
Of course, it's a miracle.
[Gulfam] All right then. Let's think about...
...something else which you can do together.
For instance, therapy.
- Hmm. - Hmm.
[Theme Music Playing]