[bell chimes]
- Please offer the flowers. - Okay.
- Here. -[notification sound]
[notification sound]
Come on everybody. Cell phones away.
Jia, Dia, crush that candy now.
Yohan.
Rish, do I have to tell you again?
No. Sorry... You're right.
- Can you just behave? - Okay... Ready?
- Pandit ji, please start. - Certainly.
Hey Siri. How you doSatyanarayan Puja?
Searching Satyanarayan Puja.
-[bell chimes] - Shh.
[Title Montage]
So, which session are we at now?
The one which will finally exhaust our 30,000 rupees.
Rish, how can you talk like this?
Hey, that's simple. It's the sixth session.
5,000 rupees a session that's...
That's 30,000 rupees. See I'm good at maths.
Sometimes.
What were you saying?
So, tell me.
Who's the most responsible member of your house?
- Oh, Dia - Dia. - Really?
Does that mean Dia is more matured than her age?
See, doctor, my Dia is a sweetheart.
She's caring, considerate, and compassionate.
Also, she's too intelligent for her own good.
But she's super boring.
Oh, boring.
Dear Satyanarayan ji.
My standard 12 exams are in two years.
I want to come first on my own ability.
The world is suffering from global warming.
Who is responsible?
By 2052, there will be no drinking water left.
[Dia] Then what?
Will the politics of majority...
...destroy the spirit of democracy across the globe?
That's it. To know the answers to these questions...
...I need your help.
Thank you so much.
Hmm.
I feel Dia overthinks about her life.
I hope she doesn't develop stress related problems. My poor baby.
- Yeah. - Exactly.
Does Dia have a boyfriend?
Someone she can share all these thoughts with?
Do you really think that a 16-year-old boy...
...will have the answers to Dia's questions?
[Shefali] I mean, Rishabh is 39.
And I still have to explain to him the meaning of Dia's questions.
But, you're getting better at this, baby. He is.
So, Dia doesn't have a boyfriend?
Well, I think there was one. But now I don't know.
I think you both need to talk more openly.
After all...
...what happened with Dia's boyfriend?
Rish, pound cake will be heavy.
Let's make a chocolate cake. It'll be moist. It'll be yum.
Do you know what will happen then?
When kids drop the chocolate cake on the couch...
...you'll have those marks.
Pound cake is dry. It just bounces like...
- Who thinks so much, man? - I do.
Guys. Guys... I want to tell you all something.
I have a boyfriend.
-[Rishabh chuckling] - Huh?
Don't be silly. He must be imaginary.
Dia, he's just being silly.
You know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a doubt.
But...
You know what? It's totally normal. There's nothing bad about it.
But when are you going to introduce us?
Ideally, never.
But now I'll have to.
He's coming home tomorrow.
For a science project.
- Okay. - Science project. That's really cute. What's the topic?
Do aliens really exist?
They do.
Dia. He's going to love us.
Yeah... Don't worry about anything.
Okay, tell me something.
What kind of cake does he like?
Is he a chocolate cake guy or a pound cake?
- Here. - What is it?
These are your lines.
Not a word more than this.
So, let's practice.
Mom, I'll introduce you first as my mom.
What will you say?
"So nice to meet you, Rustom."
Rustom. Hmm.
"I'm Shefali. Come... Come on in."
"Feel at home. I like your shirt."
"Oh, that reminds me..."
"...I have to fold the laundry."
"And then I hopefully make a graceful but definitely swift exit..."
"...and never come back."
Yeah. Good. But I think you can go a little faster.
Yeah, to begin with.
[Dia] Ah... Now, Dad.
It's your turn. What will you say?
"Rustom. It's so nice to meet you."
"Oh, no! My car is in the wrong parking lot."
"I'll just go and check. You relax."
- Fast enough? - Yeah. Good.
- Please do just this. - Okay, listen.
I was thinking that we can do an addition to this.
My car's fuel runs out.
So, I have to go very far to fill petrol in my car.
You get it?
- Yeah, good idea. -[Rishabh] Good idea?
[Dia] But...
- Don't forget to take your wallet. - Yeah. - Practice.
You go to the one in Juhu. That's even far.
Oh, Shefali. You're so naive.
Acting. It's just acting.
- Hello. - Oh, feel at home. Yeah. Right.
So nice to meet you, Rustom. I'm Shefali.
- Hi. - Hi.
[Shefali clears throat]
Mom, Dad.
Rustom.
So nice to meet you, Rustom.
-[Rustom] Hello. - I'm Shefali.
Come... Come on in.
Feel at home.
I like your shirt.
That reminds me, I have to fold the laundry.
See you.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Hello, Rustom. - Hello, uncle.
No...
Dad.
Your car?
Yeah. What about the car?
You said that...
...you've parked your car at the wrong place.
Yeah. Correct.
So, where is my key? Key?
- In your pocket. - Yeah. That's right.
Oh! Yes. Rustom, how are you?
The thing is my car is parked at the wrong place.
So, I'll have to go immediately. But you feel at home.
It's your home. Fast enough?
- Don't forget your wallet. -[Rishabh] Yeah. Yes.
The petrol line. Yes.
Rustom, my car's petrol has suddenly run out.
So, I'll have to leave immediately. And I won't be back soon. Okay?
But make yourself at home.
Nice to meet you. Best of luck.
Shall we start the project?
Yes, sure.
Hey.
Who are you, dude?
Alone with my child, Dia, that too in the kitchen!
Mom and Dad are also nowhere to be seen.
What is cooking?
Zoru, relax. This is Rustom, my boyfriend.
[Dia] Mom, dad have already met him.
Mom has gone to do laundry and dad left to park the car.
Dia, my child.
A boy and a girl can never be friends.
Also, did Rustom teach you to lie?
When was the last time your mom did laundry?
Look at this.
I didn't get these blisters by flying kite all day.
You're still not getting it.
Rustom is a very good boy.
Good boy?
Stand up.
"He is a very good boy." Do you call this good?
How can a boy who roams around in these shorts be good?
Come here. Come closer.
Do you remember the Nanavati case?
No?
Another lie.
Smart-ass, I won't strike you thrice but just once.
Although, you'll be left confused...
...as to where did you feel those other two strikes come from. Get lost!
[Zoravar] You're done.
Rustom...
Dia, we'll do the project in class.
- Bye. - Yes. - Listen.
He left.
[Zoravar] Dia baby.
Today, I have proved my loyalty to your dad.
Had my dad been alive, he would have been so proud of me.
That means, even after all her preparation...
...you managed to get rid of Rustom.
No. It's Zoru who screwed up.
Isn't it? Tell him, Shef.
Shefali.
Tell me the truth.
Fine.
I sent Zoru there. So?
- What? - What what?
Do you think Zoru is capable of handling the situation so brilliantly?
I taught him all the dialogues.
Oh my God!
So, actually, you both were happy...
...that Dia's boyfriend got scared and ran away?
We were not happy. How could we be happy?
What happened, Shef?
I think she's realised how badly you three behaved.
In trying to hold on to your children you're alienating them.
Sir, you get something out of everything. You shrinks are like...
Excuse me.
No, Rish. He's right.
I always have this fear that my children don't need me.
Jia and Dia are now young adults.
And Yoyo is growing up so fast, he doesn't need me.
What nonsense?
Yoyo still wets his bed.
You just don't get it, Rish.
He's growing older and he's getting smarter.
Really?
Smarter?
Yeah. Smarter?
Yoyo, next is 328 divided by 8.
- Forty-one. Easy. - Are you sure? - Yes.
Very smart.
So, tell me. What is 17 multiplied by 8?
- 136. - Really? - Yeah.
Okay. What is...
136 divided by 17?
Eight, Mom.
What is 150...
...plus 176...
...minus 150.
176.
What is the capital of Greece?
Athens.
And when did Babar come to India?
- 1526, after which he won the Battle of Panipat. - Please...
That's enough.
I can't take this anymore.
You don't need me anymore, right?
You know everything!
Now onwards do everything on your own.
Without me.
How wonderful.
You both should be happy that Yohan is finally becoming intelligent.
I am happy.
But if Yoyo learns everything by himself...
...then his dependency on me will decrease.
- And that should never happen, right? - Oh.
- I must remain his favourite. - Of course.
Yoyo. Yoyo.
Wake up. Mumma wants to ask you a very important question.
- Yes, Mom. What do you have to ask? - Okay.
Now listen carefully.
What's your world's favourite dish?
Lasagne with extra cheese and marshmallows.
Correct.
And who makes the best Lasagne with extra cheese and marshmallows?
You, Mom.
How about you make some now?
One minute. Don't change the topic, Yoyo.
Tell me. Is there any other place where you've eaten...
...better lasagne with extra cheese and marshmallow?
No, Mom. Your lasagne is the best lasagne...
...in the whole wide world.
Sure?
Promise?
Yay!
Promise. Will you make it tomorrow.
I will make it tomorrow and I will make it every day of the week.
Okay? Lasagne with extra cheese and I'll stuff it with marshmallows for you.
Sleep. Good night.
Look, Yohan is growing up.
Gradually, he'll start figuring out his life on his own.
He'll interact on the basis of his experiences in his own personal way.
I'd call that independence.
That is what it's called, Rish.
He said interact.
- It's the same thing. -[Gulfam] Okay, moving on.
Let's talk ill about Jia...
I mean let's talk a little about her.
- Our beauty with no brains. - Exactly.
What's going on in Jia's life now?
Even Jia wants to go to Ruju now.
Who Ruju?
Rujuta Diwekar.
Bandra's no. 1 dietitian.
Even Shef wanted to go to her. Remember? Lottery?
- Size zero. - Yeah. - Oh yes. Of course.
But you didn't win the lottery.
Because and I quote.
"You two."
"You don't look like winners."
- Yeah. - Aha. You were listening.
Yes. Of course.
Well, we told Jia clearly...
...that if she wants to get into all this size zero nonsense...
...then she'll have to pay for it all by herself.
Because we are not going to pay for it.
Poor girl kept counting the zeros of the estimate.
She thinks five and five zeros make five lakhs.
Five lakhs. What happened next?
Well, Jia is as stubborn as she's stupid.
She accepted a job at Body Worship Gym...
...as a receptionist.
But we were not going to give up.
We made a plan.
Waited for the right opportunity.
And turned up at ground zero.
Ground zero?
You're comfortable? All fine?
Very nice. You're doing very good.
Carry on. Yes.
Excuse me. Are you the manager here?
Yes, ma'am.
I want to complain about your receptionist.
Who are you talking about?
How would I know her name? Do I look like her mother?
Her name starts with Ji or something...
- Okay, I'll find it out. - Hmm.
By the way, what's your problem with her?
That girl is the problem.
That girl has been brought up so badly!
In fact, I've never seen such an ill-mannered and senseless girl ever.
She refused to give me another towel.
- Oh. - And the way she was staring at me as if I need to lose weight.
Do you think I need to lose weight?
No. No, ma'am.
Exactly.
Check out my tricep.
Very nice, ma'am.
Bicep?
My calves are also not bad. Look...
Yes. Nice.
Now either she'll stay in this gym or me.
I beg your forgiveness, ma'am. I'll take strict actions against her.
When? Today? Now? This evening?
Hello, are you the manager of this gym?
Yes, sir.
- First of all, I want to say that I don't know this woman. - Not at all.
My name is Vasco. Vasco. You must've heard about me.
No. I've never heard about you.
Oh. Yes because I like to keep a low profile.
But I have been a member of your gym for three years.
Of course, sir. How can I help you?
You fire that girl right now.
Whom should I fire and why?
How would I know? It's not like I know her name.
Do I look like her father? I'm Vasco. Vasco.
But her name starts with Ji or something...
Fire her. Find out.
Okay, sir.
What did she do?
Look.
I need to work out all day to maintain Vasco's body.
And when people watch me work out...
...they start sweating.
But more than them, I sweat.
Oh.
I'm not talking about normal sweat, bro.
I'm talking about next level of sweat.
Like a big red pig.
You understand? Like a multi-faucet system.
The water leaks from every corner and from the weirdest of places.
- Are you getting me? - Of course, sir.
But, in this sweaty situation when I asked your receptionist for a towel...
...she held her nose.
Because she can't handle the smell.
I mean what kind of receptionist is this?
I completely agree.
Looks like your receptionist...
...has a problem with towels and fit people.
- Just fire her. - Yeah.
Okay. Okay means yes, ma'am.
When? Today? Now? This evening?
This evening, sir.
Okay.
Enjoy your gym.
Hi, Jijipoo.
Is everything alright?
What happened? Looks like you had a bad day.
You guys know me so well.
I had a terrible day. You won't imagine what happened.
Uhh, whatever happened Jiji, remember...
- ...it's all going to turn out well. - Yeah.
- Isn't it? - We're always here for your support, dear.
- Okay? - That's the spirit.
I'm fine.
Poor Jigna.
Jigna?
As in, "J-I" Jigna?
Yeah, Mom. "J-I" Jigna. Our other receptionist.
Today, two horrible people complained against her...
...and you know she got fired.
Bloody idiots.
But... Is your job safe?
Safe?
My salary was increased as well as my shifts.
[Jia] So, that way, I'm happy.
But poor Jigna.
But hey, Rujuta.
Here I come.
It's a little bitter sweet. But I'll manage.
Weight obsession is a common thing these days.
There's counselling available for that too.
- Oh. - Has Jia started going to Rujuta?
Well, she'll go only when she stops wasting money, right?
Meaning?
It means, we recently discovered that Jia has been spending her money...
...irresponsibly.
And we took a lot of advantage of that. Especially I did.
How?
Hey... She's come.
Jia.
Please wipe the wet utensils and keep it in the closet.
And put the food in the fridge.
And then wipe the counter using that wet cloth.
And then with a dry cloth.
After that take out the wet clothes from the washing machine...
[Shefali] ...and put it in the drying area.
Dear, now that you're in the kitchen, make some coffee for both of us.
[Rishabh] Yes? I'll have a black coffee.
And I'll have mine without sugar.
[Shefali] Can you do this much, Jia?
Hey. Why won't she do it?
And if she doesn't want to do, can't she tell us?
I think from tomorrow she should even wash my car.
So basically, Jia didn't know...
...that we knew that she had got her tongue pierced.
Exactly.
[Shefali] Teenagers are so easy to take advantage of.
Yeah.
[Gulfam chuckles]
You're right.
This box is so big...
...and tacky too.
And there are only a few chocolates.
One, two, three. Uff, these are terrible.
Your dad's family, Jia...
They're Punjabis just for name's sake. They're so stingy.
And it baffles me how they have absolutely no class at all.
But we'll have to go for the wedding.
Otherwise, Aunt Nikki is gonna sulk for a year.
I'm thinking about what to wear.
I think a sharara is gonna look amazing. Isn't it?
Hey! My Sabya saree would look lovely.
Isn't it? Okay, I'll work it out.
Mom, I forgot to tell you that Jia has got her tongue pierced.
Thanks, Dia. You have ruined everything.
Oh, yes, missy. I knew.
Hmm.
I think today's session was very much needed.
It helped us understand your children and their changing attitudes.
[Rishabh] Yeah. They're growing up.
And so are we.
[Rishabh] I mean we can't be young, fit, dynamic...
...sexy, amazing and interesting all our life. Right?
Of course.
I think all we can do is introduce the right value systems in our children.
That's all.
True. Very true.
Tanmay asked you to bunk your class and you did it!
If tomorrow Tanmay asks you to kill your dad for his money...
...will you do it, Yoyo?
I don't know.
- God. - No... It's okay. It's fine. Not to worry.
Yoyo, if your wife asks you to throw your poor old mother out of the house...
...will you do it?
Tell me the truth, Yoyo.
- Mom scolds you, right? - What?
- I don't know. - Huh!
That's it.
You'll not meet Tanmay anymore. Okay?
Am I clear?
Okay, go to your room.
I should ask him again. I think his answer will change.
So, after all these punishments, has Yohan's behaviour improved?
Not really.
But, I feel it now that it just might.
Why? What did you do?
Yohan.
If you don't learn how to apologise, then you're going to be punished.
I'm your mother and you'll not talk back at me. Understood?
- No. - No?
Fine. No Xbox for you.
- Will you say sorry or not? - No.
Sure?
Then forget about your iPad too. Okay?
Unless you apologise...
Not just for one or two... But for three months...
...no iPad and definitely no Xbox. Understood?
Fine. Okay.
- Not my problem. - Shall I help?
How many Ls are there in the word challenge. One or two?
Two.
Do you want to eat something?
Neither will he eat anything nor will he drink anything.
And he'll definitely not play crossword with you.
- Hey, but... - Nothing doing, mummy.
Don't interfere. Okay?
Yohan, will you say sorry or not?
Are you sure?
Fine. Then not just for one or two, but for three months...
...no granny for you.
- Come on, granny. Come on. - What?
Come on... Bye.
- Come on leave. - Where?
- Now, we will meet after three months. - Hey.
- Yohan... Make me speak to Rishabh on the phone. - Come... No.
- What? - I'm trying to get rid of all his bad habits.
Bye. Have a good day.
[door closing]
You're supposed to behave in a certain way, Yohan!
I am going to teach you!
[Theme Music Playing]