Hey, look at them, Rish.
[Shefali] They seem to be newly married.
[Rishabh] Yeah. They're so cute.
- Hey, guys. Congratulations. - Hey, congratulations.
- Thank you. - You guys look so sweet.
You guys look so sweet.
- But everything looks sweet at first. -[Shefali] I know.
- The first year will be great. - Yes.
- Then life happens. - Yeah...
- But keep at it. - Come, let's go there.
[Shefali] And at first if you get angry and feel like abusing...
...pulling his hair off...
If you feel like poisoning the milk. It's all normal.
Yes... But don't really do it. Okay, brother?
The first suspect will always be the husband.
Look at OJ. Better than that you should focus on the sex.
- Oh, that's very important. - Yeah.
And don't give up even if you're tired.
- Just give in. Just submit. Lie down. - Yeah.
And if you're not turned on...
- And... - Then you can think of other people.
[Shefali] Or you can play a game.
Yeah. You can play Kho kho. I can even teach you that.
Is it so? How?
They're running.
- Where are you going? - Come back.
[Shefali] Listen, these are very helpful tips.
Hey, photographer, where are you running?
I didn't even ask you to play Kho kho.
You're not going to get it from anybody else.
- I'm telling you. - These are golden nuggets.
We won couple of the year at the ball bearing conference in Pattaya.
Your lehenga is so ugly.
[Title Montage]
[Gulfam] You both look very happy today.
How come?
Actually, we tried your roleplaying advice again.
And it worked. Yeah.
Really?
What roles did you play?
We played ourselves.
And we recreated our wedding day.
And it ended up in the wedding night.
Interesting.
- Then what happened? - Well, technically not much.
You know, on our wedding night...
...mummy forced us to eatAmritsari chole.
- Yeah. - It's a family tradition.
And because of this tradition...
...we got such a terrible acidity at night...
...that on our wedding night...
...we both turned on to our sides and slept.
- Yeah. - It was a night of no action.
And very painful reactions.
So, obviously this time you didn't eat chole?
- No. We did. - So didn't you get acidity this time?
Of course, we got it.
It's Amritsari chole. They're very consistent.
Then, why are you so happy?
Because even after all these years...
...both of us fitted into our wedding clothes.
- What can be more amazing than that? - Wow.
- Baby, just like people pose in Kashmir. - Okay, I'll do it.
- Like we are looking at something, right? - Aww, so cute you guys.
- Sweet. - Nice?
- And one just like this. - Like this.
Sweet.
[Rishabh] Do like this. Like I'm asleep.
- Nice? - Okay fine. - Very nice.
Aren't you guys going to change though?
No, man. I have fitted into my wedding dress after so many years.
- I ain't changing. - Never. I'm gonna live in this.
So cute. Then I'll take more pictures.
You know you guys are making memories.
You know technology has ruined everything, Jia.
I mean, just one click and your memories are saved forever.
[Shefali] We used to do everything using our hands.
Everything from our hand.
Uhh... Mom, we still have to use our hands.
You know you've to actually press it with your thumb.
Please, Jia. I'll show you.
- Babe, pass that. The one inside. - The blue one?
[Shefali] Okay. See this.
I made this album with my own hands.
All your cute memories are stored in it.
Aww.
Oh yeah. Look at this one.
Jia, when you were four years old...
...you said...
"Mamma, I'm so hot."
- You were so cute, Jia. - Yea.
Wait. By the way...
Dia, when you were four years old...
...I had asked you a very difficult math question.
100 plus 50 minus 50 plus 50 minus 50 equals to?
- And what did I say? - 100.
Exactly.
Oh my God, look at this.
Jia, once, you said...
"Jia is so poor. She needs new flocks."
So cute!
You called frocks flocks. You were so adorable.
Nothing has changed. She still has the same face.
Jia, you're just so cute.
Do you know, Dia?
When you were very young, you were doing a science project.
And you looked at me and said...
"The sun doesn't move. The earth moves around the sun."
- The sun is a star. - Yeah.
Oh.
"My hand got doody."
Jia.
You said doody for dirty.
So cute, man!
-[Shefali] Doody. - Cute?
She wasn't cute, she was a duffer.
Doody? What does that even mean?
- Oh, Dia. Jia was a very cute baby. - Yeah.
You know her favourite book wasSleeping Beauty.
Not just then. Even now.
And it's both of your fault.
Because you two always glorify her stupidity.
You guys have no idea what you're doing.
You're always glorifying stupidity and discouraging intellect.
This... This is exactly like preferring the lecherous culture of Rome...
...over Plato and Socrates from Ancient Greece.
Stop it, Dia.
What does Sleeping Beauty have to do with ancient niece?
Baby, it's not ancient niece.
- It's Greece. - She's so cute, man.
[Rishabh] You're a cutie.
Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed at all.
So basically, you guys are happy with the fact that nothing has changed.
Especially with Jia.
Now, we have been together for so many years despite Jia, Dia, Yohan.
Mummy and Zoru. So, a little bit of happiness is justified.
Then why do you need this therapy?
Well, I think I must have borrowed some money from you in my past life.
And I'm still clearing my debt.
I mean I'm a genuine believer of bad karma.
I'm... I'm sorry. It was a joke. Of Rishabh's.
Look, we have been together all this while, I'm happy about that.
But to live with Rishabh, we need therapy.
We need you.
And who can explain better than you to Shef that I'm also a human being?
Even I have some feelings.
Shef will be here anytime now.
Yeah. That's okay.
You're so nervous as if there's something going on between us.
No. I can't even think like that. I'm not allowed.
- I'm just kidding. Chill. - No. I'm not allowed even that.
- Shef is here. Can I go to my room? - Hey, Shef.
Hi, Radha. When did you come?
31 Minutes and 35 seconds ago.
- What is that? - Did Rishabh offer you anything?
- What offer? - He offered me a coffee on the 13th minute.
But I refused politely.
Did he force you after that?
Try to push you?
What do you mean force? She said no. No means no. No?
- Once. - Did he offer anything other than coffee?
Tea? Juice? Freshly squeezed orange juice?
Just water, Shef. That too without a tray and a coaster.
- The glass is right in front of you. - What?
Just let the lady speak, Rish. Did he offer you anything to eat?
After 25 minutes, he offered me a chewing gum only because he was having it himself.
- Sugar free? - You think?
My God! He hasn't offered you anything else in 31 minutes?
Just a minute.
I did offer something. But you guys are not letting me talk.
Really? Listen to this.
Sorry there's no sugar free chewing gum.
There's chickpea. They're sugar free. You want to have some?
So what? Chickpea isn't sugar free?
- Okay, I didn't know that. - Radha, I'm so so sorry.
This is his condition even after all this training.
- I'm so disappointed. - It's... It's okay. I completely understand.
Only a woman can understand another woman's troubles.
Shyam is no prize.
I need to train him too. Okay. Bye.
It's been four minutes since I arrived.
Will you offer me something to drink?
- Coffee? - No. - Tea? - No. - Lemonade?
Shef. It's all a set up. I know that.
It's a scam. I'm not doing it.
Now you can see who's more difficult...
...and who's more understanding...
...compassionate, considerate, forgiving and thoughtful.
Wait a minute.
I'm thoughtful too.
You're not thoughtful. You're forgetful, Rish.
For instance?
- Rish, man! - Yes.
The kids will wake up. Hurry up!
I'm doing just that, man!
What's the code of this alarm?
God! Rish. You forgot? My birthdate.
Yeah, I punched that. But it's not working.
- Try again. - Sixth August... - What?
- Sixth July. - What?
Just a minute.
I know this. 15th December.
26th January?
- First.. - Rish? - Sixth Jan.
- Don't you remember my birthdate? - I know it...
Sorry. One minute. Don't scream.
- March. Fifth March. - Rish.
14th February. 6th April.
Nine out of ten men don't remember important dates.
What's the big deal?
We're so tired. We suffer from information overload.
- Right. - When is Zoru's dentist's appointment?
13th of next month. Why?
Right.
Rishabh, you really don't remember Shefali's birthdate?
Doc, it's not my fault.
It's this phone and its reminders who are at fault.
It's this phone's job to remind me.
How can I remember the dates?
Right. That's true.
Excuse me?
Shefali, you tell me about Rishabh's some other problem.
[doorbell rings]
- Hello. - Hi. - Thank you.
- How much is it? - 697, sir, without tip.
Okay.
- Card. - Sir, we don't accept cards.
Oh, man. Our economy is cashless.
Okay, take it. 700 rupees.
Keep the change.
Shef...
Ooh. Hi. I'm so hungry.
Me too.
Okay, Shef, listen. Remind me...
...to put 700 rupees in Yoyo's donation box.
Actually, I ran out of cash.
So, I took 700 from his donation box.
And paid.
Okay, cheers.
- What happened? - I'm not hungry.
What? You just said that you're so hungry.
Yes, Rish. I'm hungry.
Me as well as those thousands of poor children...
...for whom Yoyo is collecting the donation.
And you are stealing those hungry children's money to eat burgers.
How insensitive are you?
God, just relax, Shef. It's not like that, man!
I took 700 rupees. So, I'll put back 715 rupees. Alright?
Now eat your burger. Have fun. It's a happy meal.
It's not about returning the money, Rish. It's about your intentions.
If you can snatch those poor children's rights today...
...just because of your laziness...
...then I have no idea what you would do with us in bad times.
Oh my God!
- Take this - Please. - This watch is worth 70,000 rupees.
It's your grandfather's watch.
If he was alive, he could have had this burger. We can't have this.
Yes, Shef. But grandpa had high cholesterol.
So, he couldn't have eaten these burgers but we can.
So, can we just eat the burger?
- Yes, with pleasure. - Okay.
If your conscience allows it then please go ahead.
But I can't do this to those children. Sorry.
That's it.
Hello, Zoru.
Listen to me. Do you have 715 rupees?
You have 70,000 rupees?
How do you have 70,000 rupees, dude?
You won the lottery? Okay. Congratulations.
Now, listen to me properly.
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, leave it...
...and come give me 715 rupees right now.
Yes. I'll give it back. Promise.
Yeah, I'll give back the pending amount too.
[Rishabh] Come right now. Now...
Zoru, where're your clothes?
Let me give the money first. Take it. It's 715.
Brother was in a hurry. So, I came running.
- With Head and Shoulder. - Now go. - I'll go.
I understand, Shefali.
You feel Zoru and Rishabh's overall behaviour...
...is having a bad impact on Yohan.
Yes.
Well, it's not like Shef sets the best example.
Please explain.
Yes... Every item has 50 percent off.
We can finish the whole year's gift shopping today.
I'm going to even buy Rishabh's birthday gift from here.
You come fast. Hurry up.
Mom.
Look there, near the escalator.
See blind man.
Yohan, I've told you so many times not to say "blind man" so loudly.
Oh, God!
See, now he has heard you.
Me?
Very bad, Yohan.
- Are your laces tight? - Yes.
Good. Run.
Have you guys ever agreed on your approach..
...to discipline Yohan?
- Yes. -Yeah.
Once.
Yohan.
Go for a bath.
Yohan, go for a bath.
Yohan, go for a bubble bath. Right now.
Yohan, go for a bath with ducky.
- Oh, God! Shef. - What happened?
Yohan has gone to Prateek with a double EK's place for a sleepover.
- I totally forgot. - Man!
- We're going crazy. - Call him.
Hello. Hi, Puneeta.
Hi. How're the kids doing?
Okay, good.
Can we talk to Yohan, please?
Yohan, go for a bath.
Yohan, take ducky and Prateek with a double EK along with you.
Relax, I can hear the shower.
Okay, bye. Bye...
Sorted.
See.
That means if you wish you can together become successful parents.
Of course, we can.
We are successful parents with Jia too.
As in?
Mom, Dad.
- Gopal. - Good evening, sir.
- Good evening. -[Gopal] Good evening]
Glad to finally meet Jia's parents.
We're so glad to meet you too, Gopal.
I've heard a lot of praises about you from Jia. I just had to meet you guys.
Well, Jia, I must say...
...you've got your good looks from your mom.
Can we go to my room and play Taboo?
Of course. It's not like its taboo to go to your own room.
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Malhotra.
- Have a good evening. - Thank you...
Did you just see what I saw in that boy?
Shef, I checked him out from top to bottom.
You know. I think Jia's finally made a good choice.
This boy is different from other boys, right?
Like clean, tidy, good looking.
I feel like he takes a bath every day.
Do you remember her old boyfriend?
Yuck! The one with the tattoos from head to toe.
- Do you remember his dreads? - I remember.
Do you remember the one with the anger management issues?
The one who used to fight over everything.
How can I forget him?
Once the police came to our house looking for him.
And they were about to arrest you. I remember that.
If I wasn't there at home that day...
...then you would've gone to jail.
Shef, I didn't get this, man!
I was changing the bulb at home, but they wouldn't let go of me.
They thought I'm a thief. Do I look like a thief?
Alright. Do not answer that.
I remember they weren't believing that I could've married you.
I had to show my marriage certificate to them.
- I remember. - But this is not about you, Rish.
Don't feel bad about it.
- Things have changed. - You're right. - So, what do we do now?
- I know what to do. - No... Not now.
I'm tired. Plus Gopal is also at home.
Come on, Rish.
I'm saying let's pop open that bottle of wine from Tuscany.
- Yes. - The one that someone accidentally sent to our home.
- The one which we have kept for a very special occasion. - Right.
But it's been seven years since that bottle accidentally reached our home.
A special occasion like this won't keep recurring in our lives.
Let's do it.
To the lovely, intelligent...
...well-mannered, charming, sophisticated...
...non-tattooed and precious Gopal.
- And to Jia. - And to Jia.
Wow, wine's really good.
No, Rish.
- It's not good. - You're right. You're right.
It's excellent.
No, Rish. There's a problem.
What?
We are the problem, Rish. You and me.
What do you mean we're the problem?
Rish, just think.
Till now, whenever Jia got her weird boyfriends home...
...what we used to think about their parents?
We used to think very badly of them, Shef. Very badly.
Now, if a girl like Jia from our house meets Gopal's cultured parents...
...what would they think about us?
They'd think very poorly of us, Shef. Very poorly.
Exactly.
So, what do we do now?
I've already opened the wine bottle.
We can't pour the wine back into the bottle.
Rish, pay attention.
Previously, we were in the position to complain about people.
Now, people will complain about us.
That's why I said, don't open the wine bottle.
But you were acting stubborn.
Okay, alright. Maybe you're just overreacting.
- You know... - I'm not overreacting, Rish.
Think.
If Gopu is so good, his family would be good too, right?
His father could be a respected IAS officer...
...or a high court judge, at least he would be a professor.
You're right, man!
This Gopu's father, he must be one of those people...
- ...who's won like a Bharat Ratna. - Yeah.
Or a Nobel prize nominee.
And when a respected father like him meets you...
...an owner of a ball bearing factory...
...then what would he think about us? Father to father.
- He'll think very poorly of us. Very poorly. - Exactly.
But I'm sure that Gopal's mother wouldn't be any less.
She'll be a classical dancer or painter at least.
That's right. Now you get me.
Just because of her parents, Jia is never going to be good enough.
- Do you realise the mess we are in? - I do...
This guy is not good for Jia. He'll give her a complete complex.
- We have to do something. - Absolutely we must.
- Now. Right now. You start. - Okay.
Jia.
Jia baby. It's been six days. Please go take a bath.
Jia, are you still getting those pimples on your back?
Shall I apply some cream?
Jia, come down for a while.
And try your mouthwash from Tuscany.
I promise you within a year or two...
...your acute bad breath problem will go away.
- Do you think it'll work? - 100 percent.
Cheers.
That means because of you Jia doesn't have a boyfriend today.
Of course, she has one.
Who?
- Ask him. - Yeah.
So, why do you have a female serpent's tattoo?
Why not a male serpent?
My name is Rocky, with an R.
And Rocky with an R likes female serpents.
Not male ones.
That's wonderful. Rocky with an R.
You really think a lot about women.
Anytime, Shef.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - He's perfect.
- Yeah. - Like Gopal, who?
[Theme music playing]