- Hi, Shef. - Hi.
What are you doing?
Planning, Rish. Planning.
What are you planning, man?
What is it next week?
Oh, man.
Your birthday?
My birthday? Our kids' birthday?
It's Diwali, Rish. It's Diwali.
Diwali. Of course, it's Diwali. So, what's there to plan?
I'm planning who should hostDiwali dinner this year.
[Shefali] Look, it has to be a fair system.
Two years ago, your mom hostedDiwali dinner.
Even though I was the one who got the biryani...
But no matter, I'm gonna give her five points.
[Shefali] Before that Aunt Pushpa hosted it.
So, she gets five points for that.
But when we host Diwali dinner, along with biryani...
...I serve ginger cauliflower, dal,veg korma, butter chicken...
...ras malai and gulab jamun.
So technically, I should get ten points.
But I'm giving myself only seven points.
Right. So that's seven points.
Now, when Surya and Vaishali hostDiwali dinner, they go all cheap on us.
They didn't make any salad, poppadoms or custard.
And it was really really a bad show. So, I'm sorry.
I'm giving them a full, big fat zero.
[Shefali] So, as per this the lowest point tally is between...
...Aunt Pushpa and Aunt Kiran. But hold on a minute.
Mummy let off firecrackers on Diwali.
So, she gets minus two for causing air pollution.
And Aunt Kiran... I like you, Aunt Kiran.
She gets plus one because of her age, dude.
-[phone rings] - One minute.
Hello.
When?
Where?
[Shefali] How?
Oh, that's really sad.
Okay, yes. Yes, we'll be there.
What happened?
Aunt Kiran is no more.
Oh my God!
Her poor children must be in shock.
True.
But if Aunt Kiran is out of the picture...
Then...
The lowest points tie is between Mummy and Aunt Pushpa.
So, the dinner must be at Aunt Pushpa's because she makes a really good raita.
That's it. Aunt Pushpa's raita.
Brilliant move. She'll host the dinner.
- Yup. - Done. You're a genius, Shef. You're a genius.
- Yeah. - Okay. Okay done. - Happy Diwali, Rish.
[Title Montage]
Today, I want to discuss a very important topic with you.
- Sure. What's the topic? - Mummy.
Wow, that's new.
Her habit of suddenly showing up anywhere, anytime...
...is very old and I'm just fed up.
One minute. Your door is locked, right?
[Rishabh] Come on, Shef.
Mom doesn't show up as often as you're suggesting.
- But, you keep your door locked, right? - Of course.
Okay.
Three days ago, Surya and Vaishali had come home.
Mummy showed up once again.
Uninvited, like bad news.
But that was a good thing, right?
It was getting difficult to handle Surya and Vaishali.
Why?
What were Surya and Vaishali saying?
The same. Constantly showing off.
- I find it so childish. - Oh. As in?
Dude, seriously. The feeling of flying business class is something else.
Have you guys ever tried flying business class?
The seats there turn completely flat. Just like a bed.
- And the blankets are so soft. - Wow.
- That's great. - And unlimited drinks.
- Champagne too. - Yes. And unlimited snacks too.
Veg and non veg, both.
[Surya] Obviously, honey.
They wouldn't serve champagne without nibbles.
It's business class, baby.
What's nibbles, bro?
- Snacks, dude. - Ah, okay.
Okay.
Surya has got...
...promoted in office.
- Wow. - Congratulations. - Congratulations.
Amazing, right?
Henceforth, we'll travel only business class.
[Vaishali] Isn't it, Suryo?
Yes.
But there's some bad news too.
What happened? Tell me fast.
Since my work has increased now.
I'll be spending less time at home.
Hey! Hello.
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom. - Hello, Mummy ji.
Surya and Vaishali. You're here too!
It's too hot today.
- Shall we go? - Let me sit for a while.
I'm feeling dizzy.
What's up?
Hey... Mom. Get some water.
- Speed up the fan. - Switch on the AC. You've a Daikin AC, right?
- Our AC is actually not working. - Huh?
We were sitting without an AC all this while?
- Oh my God. - Does that mean there's no Daikin AC?
Shef, get the fan we got from Egypt.
- When did we go to Egypt? - Come on, Egyptian fan. Please.
Got it.
Mom. Mom.
Baby.
What's with you guys?
My shirt is made of 100 percent Egyptian cotton.
Oh, yeah. I can see pure Egyptian cotton.
Now you'll say your vest is also made of Egyptian cotton.
Hey, take out your promotion letter.
It's a new achievement. It'll make an impact on Mummy ji.
Mom, listen to me. I'll start exercising again.
Today, I took two rounds in the bathroom.
Tomorrow, I'll take four. I'll get better, Mom. I promise. Please, Mom. Please.
Mummy ji, Surya has been promoted from...
...assistant manager to senior assistant manager.
- Please wake up. - Make her smell my slippers.
Mom. Mom, Shef will become a devotee of Aadhe Ma. Please.
- No, I will not. - Yes.
- Mummy ji, please wake up. Now, we have AC in all our rooms... -[Shefali] Mummy ji.
Why do you always show up here to create a scene and to ruin everything?
Yea, I was expecting only this from you, my dear daughter-in-law.
I'll go get some water.
Make sure it's chilled.
- Vaishu. - Yes. - Give me acupressure. - Yes.
How's your mother-in-law now?
Thank you for asking. Now, she's fine.
I got really scared. I even called an ambulance.
I had asked him not to call an ambulance.
Because I knew that the moment she gets some attention, she'll be just fine.
Shef, she's my mom. I mean, I can't take a chance.
[Shefali] Whatever, Rish. Fine.
You're right. I'm wrong. Okay?
- Okay. - Fine. - Thank you.
Hmmm.
Don't you guys find a pattern in your words and your behaviours?
It's like you're always competing.
Against your neighbours.
Against your friends.
Each other.
- What do you mean by each other? - I mean...
From the moment you wake up in the morning until you sleep at night...
...why do you keep arguing with each other?
- I think you're wrong. - Yeah. Actually, I agree with her.
I sleep only after Shef is asleep.
That's because I'm the one who gets up to get the milk in the morning. Not you.
Well, wasn't it your idea to get farm fresh milk delivered to our doorstep, Shef?
I'm talking about just this attitude.
You can channelize the same energy towards positive conversations.
Positive? And Rishabh? Huh.
For a week now, he's roaming around at home like a sulking sidney.
- Ask me why? - Why?
- Hey, Zoru? - Hmm?
Shall I ask you something? Will you tell me the truth?
Have I ever lied to you?
Please ask me.
What do you think?
I mean, am I cool?
You enjoy chilling with me, right?
Is that a question to ask?
Why wouldn't he enjoy? He gets a break from his household chores.
- He's playing chess and I'm dusting here. - Shef, please.
Zoru, tell me.
- Brother, you're overthinking. Brother... - Can I answer?
No, Rish. You're not cool.
And you've gotten fat.
- What? - Yeah.
- Really? - Yes.
She must have gone to check.
Dad, why are you asking Zoru? I have an idea.
Let's do an online test and we'll know if you're cool or not.
What do you think?
Yeah. Okay.
- Come. -[Shefali] One second...
I haven't put on any weight. In fact, I have lost 15 grams.
- Yeah, I know... - How about that.
We're just... Sit. My test is about to start.
Guys, ready? Here it goes.
Oh! Butter chicken or grilled chicken?
Butter chicken with double butter.
Not cool, Dad.
- Ludo or chess? - Ludo, man!
Not cool again.
Madonna or Mika?
Mika.
So not cool.
Umm... Taboo or antakshari?
I just want to say that...
...I have been undefeated inantakshari for over 13 years.
Not cool again.
Kapil Sharma or Russell Peters?
- Russell Peters. - Peter who?
- But, brother, you like... - No. - Cool, Dad.
Favourite show?
Arnab.
- Favourite channel? - Arnab.
Favourite stand-up comedian?
- Oh, Arnab. - Very cool, Dad.
So, as per your total score you are...
...not cool at all.
But didn't I tell you this without conducting any kind of test?
Yes, Mom. But dad's score is so bad...
...that he's in the most uncool category.
Oh my God! This test was even more accurate than me.
How cool is that?
-[Shefali] Oh, my God. - Sister, can we continue playing chess?
- It's your turn, brother. - Why don't you guys play Ludo?
What is it, Rishabh?
[Gulfam] You look disappointed.
Yes. I'm disappointed.
Why?
Because today I realised that I'm not the father of my kids.
What?
Why are you looking at me like that? Of course, he's the father.
No.
Not anymore.
I'm not cool enough for them.
I'm just an ATM machine to them.
Basically, Rishabh...
...the biological father of my three children...
...is going through a midlife crisis.
- Oh. - He's a bit sensitive about turning 40.
All our customer service representatives...
...are currently assisting others.
Your estimated wait time is 40 minutes.
Delhi is expecting temperatures with a high of 40 degrees.
Moving on to the west. Mumbai too is expecting temperatures...
...of up to 40 degrees with no chance of rain.
Dad, look. In my history test, I got 40 out of 50.
40?
This can be a sensitive age.
Often people think not only about their past...
...but they also think about their future.
Are you thinking about your death too?
Of course.
After my aunt's death, I think a lot.
In the end...
...how will I go?
I understand.
Just one more strike. Done. Yay! I cleared this stage.
- Brother. - Hmm?
I was thinking that even I should open a Tinder account.
What's Tinder?
You don't know what's Tinder?
Give me your phone.
I'll open your account right now.
It's here.
Oh, no.
What happened?
My gym friend, Brij Mohan.
- Yes. - His employer has died.
- What? - He's passed away. He's no more. Gone.
I know what it means, man! But what happened? Was he old?
Yes, I mean...
...he was almost your age.
And he had a heart attack just last year.
- What? - Yes.
Look at this.
Brij Mohan has sent a selfie.
- Oh, man! - He looked so innocent.
- Zoru, man! - Hmm.
I feel like I'm really stressed in life.
And the biggest reason for this stress is...
...that I can't say no to work.
- Yes, brother. - That's it.
Henceforth, I'm saying a big no to work.
I'm going to spend some time with Shef and my kids.
Or else I'll die someday like your Brij Mohan's employer.
- You're right, brother. You're right. - Okay.
- But I didn't tell you this. - What?
When Brij's employer had a heart attack...
...he was at home...
...with his wife and good-for-nothing children.
If the kids with their shoes on...
...are bouncing up and down on the bed, won't that make him angry?
He got angry and then he was gone.
He could've waited just five more minutes.
It was just anger.
Right.
- Okay, I'll finish my work. - Okay.
Mummy ji is also at home.
- What? - Yeah.
- Let's stay out all day today. Okay? -[Zoravar] Okay.
Shefali.
How his midlife crisis is affecting you?
Very badly.
Because of his midlife crisis, Rish has rented a boat with Surya...
- ...to go fishing. - Really?
What's so bad about it?
You're allergic to fish.
Yeah, but Surya goes fishing.
- But you're seasick too, Rish. -[Rishabh] But I don't even go on the boat.
I go to Taj Mahal Hotel which is right next door.
I have a cup of coffee with some biscuits and...
- ...think about life. -[Shefali] Really?
Which aspect of life do you think about, Rish?
I think about the end of life.
How many times do I need to say it?
Did you hear that?
What more can I say? He's impossible.
And if he's not enough, his mom gets the job done.
- Oh we're back to your mother-in-law. - Yes.
What has she done now?
She's renovating her house.
So, she wants to replace old items.
What does that have to do with Rishabh's midlife crisis?
[door opening]
-[Shefali] Not bad, huh? -[Rishabh] Yeah. I liked it.
Oh my... What the hell is this?
What is this disgusting looking thing?
Jackie, mom and dad have seen you. Get out.
What?
We will talk about Jackie later. What's this?
Guys, this is my childhood bed.
Wow!
Dad, you slept on a sofa?
Yeah.
Anyway. Granny has sent this from their house.
Uh... Don't you think it's a little old fashioned for our home?
It's just like your granny, Jia.
What are you saying, guys? I have spent half my youth on this couch.
By the way, Shef.
The first time with Chandrika was here.
The second time with Chandrika was here.
- The third time with... -[Shefali] Okay. One second.
I got it, Rish. I got it...
Take it out of the house.
What? Why?
Because it's fugly. That's why.
And you little miss, follow me.
Mom...
Wow.
Hey, Zoru.
Do you want to see my bed? Bed?
Rishabh?
Do you really like that sofa cum bed?
- Yes. - Do you feel bad that Shefali threw it out?
Yes. That's right.
I think Shefali is jealous.
Of what? An ugly couch?
I think Shefali is jealous of Chandrika.
Oh my God, Rish.
I don't even believe that there was a girl called Chandrika.
I'm not jealous. I'm not like you.
One second.
- What do you mean not like you? - Okay, fine.
Before me, Shefali had a boyfriend and his name was Rishabh too.
- So? - Rishabh.
I'm not getting your point.
After all, what is the matter?
Yes, Rishabh.
Don't stop, Rishabh.
What happened, baby?
Why did you stop?
- Is everything alright? - Nothing is alright, Shef.
Oh, baby. Doesn't matter. It's common. It happens.
It's not that, Shef.
Why do you keep saying "come on, Rishabh"?
If you call me Rishabh even now, how can I do it?
I'm so hurt.
- What? - One minute.
- I think we also need to talk about Shef's midlife crisis. - Okay.
- I don't have a midlife crisis, Rish. - Oh.
Yes, you do, Cookie.
I told you not to call me that.
What? Cookie?
This should be interesting.
Where are you going in Jia's clothes?
Shut up, Rish. It's my dress.
Anyway, Tarun and Charu could be here anytime.
Umm... Are you going to be in the same shirt?
- What do you mean? - Okay, it's cool.
I'm not one of those wives who forces their wishes on their husbands.
- Really? - Yeah. I mean we give each other lots of space, right?
- Since when? - Always.
Okay, baby. Are you really not going to change out of this shirt?
Okay listen. Listen carefully.
- Are you listening? - Yes...
When Tarun and Charu come inside...
...you please keep hugging me. Okay?
And keep holding my hand.
As soon as I get the chance, I'll come and sit on your lap.
But why?
Charu also sits on Tarun's lap all the time.
Oh God, Shef.
They just got married. And we are...
- We are old now. - What? Excuse me?
Just because we are older than them...
...it shouldn't seem that our passion has died down.
Relax, Shef. I got it. I understood.
Shef... No. Shef won't do.
Just like Tarun and Charu...
...we should think of some sexy pet names for each other.
Their pet names are Tintin and Chamcham.
- I know, baby. Think... -[Rishabh] Okay...
- Shifu. - No.
- Baby. - Please, how original(!)
- Jaan? - No.
Jaanu?
Give me a divorce already.
Are you sure?
Okay... Then what should I call you?
Let's do one thing. First, let's think of your nickname. Okay?
No, I'm very happy with Rish.
No, baby. Something young and sexy and like really really cool.
Like...
Rambo?
- No, man. - I know.
I'll call you Cookie.
No, you will not.
Junaid bhai used to call Kanta Cookie and we know how that ended.
Cookie, it is.
Please, man!
-[doorbell ringing] - Hey, they're here.
Keep sitting.
Rish, open the door.
Shef, I can only open the door if you get up from my lap, right?
Okay. One minute. Zoru, open the door.
It's your turn. He's not going to come.
Jia, open the door.
The kids are not home.
Ah... Tintin, Chamcham...
Actually, we are locked inside the house and kids aren't home.
The keys are with them.
Someone is coming to open the door.
Shef, they've gone for a three hour long movie.
Baby, the movie can be bad too, right?
Look, this is our first shot.
I'm not getting up. Someone will open the door.
- Chill. Smile. - Smile?
Welcome back.
How was your vacation?
Bangkok, right?
Just like your sessions. Expensive.
International holidays are usually expensive.
Oh, yes. Especially for those...
...who buy useless gifts just to be admired by others.
Please, Rish. Not again.
This time I hardly bought any gifts.
You bought Satyanand a 200 Baht shirt.
But Satyanand is a sweetheart.
Excuse me.
Who is Satyanand?
He's a security guard at a cinema hall.
Security guard?
But he's a really good human being.
He always lets me take home food inside his cinema hall.
Why do you carry home food to a theatre?
Not for me, for Rish.
- I don't follow. - Whenever we go to a movie theatre...
...Rish concentrates less on the movie and more on the snacks that the others are eating.
It's not my fault.
How can I possibly ignore the sweet smell of butter chicken...
...ham and cheese sandwiches...
...theplas and hot gulab jamuns all at once.
Is it a movie theatre or a picnic?
Exactly. But if this is the case...
...then how's it fair that I get only samosas, nachos, hotdogs...
...and salted caramel cheese popcorn as options?
- It's not fair. - Not fair.
Anyway. The point is we were getting Satyanand's t-shirt for 50 Baht.
But Shef got emotional about Satya and negotiated very badly.
If I negotiated so well for others' gifts, why wouldn't I do the same for Satya?
- What do you mean by others? - Mom, Surya, Vaishali, you. - Oh.
For you.
- How sweet, thank you. - You're welcome.
But do you know whose gift she forgot to buy?
- Mine. - Oh.
- Oh, come on, Rish. - What "come on Rish"?
Dr. Gulfam had told us...
...that we should gift things to each other. It increases the romance, the love.
That's correct. So, what gift did you buy for Shefali?
Look, I chose a very beautiful dress for Shef.
And she would've looked stunning in it.
But when I found out that Shefali hasn't bought anything for me.
I felt that if I gift her the dress, it would make her feel guilty.
So, I didn't buy it.
Interesting choice, Rishabh.
Anyway. Let's move on.
Did you try that thing in Bangkok which I had asked you to?
Yes, I tried everything.
Such good food.
I mean it's spicy. So, the next day can be a bit runny.
I mean tricky. But such good food.
Yeah. But those were Surya's suggestions.
His suggestions were to spice up our life...
...specifically our night life.
- Exactly, did it work? - Ah!
I'm ready.
Come in.
How are you, Basanti?
Huh?
Again?
But this getup failed the last time, right?
But this time we had Jai andVeeru with us. So, it worked.
Who are Jai and Veeru?
The hotel we were staying at...
...had two Indian bell boys whose names were Jai and Veeru.
In fact, Jai even helped me with my look.
And later, Veeru untied the rope.
Apart from that I did everything.
So, it all worked out.
Oh, yes. It truly did.
I'm so happy to see you guys like this.
Now you must try this more often.
Are you saying that we have to go back to Bangkok?
No, you can try it at home too.
How will Jai and Veeru come to my house?
Hey!
Oh God!
- Okay. Yes of course, we can try. - Good.
Shef, you saw your mother-in-law after almost a week.
Did distance make the heart grow fonder?
Actually, for that, she has to go far, far away from me.
- If you know what I mean. - I think I do.
Do you want my mom and dad to shift to another city?
Not a bad idea.
Is that possible?
Shefali, Rishabh.
I felt really great talking to you both.
We should've been the ones to feel great.
I agree you have many problems.
Personal intimacy.
Difficult children, quality time, Mummy ji, Zoru.
- Surya. - Surya.
Expenses, et cetra, et cetra.
But along with these, you both have one more thing...
...which is precious.
Invaluable.
Uh.. You?
No.
Your companionship for each other.
Look. There are challenges in every relationship.
Every year a lot of couples come to me.
But the couples who end up staying together...
...are those whose foundation rests on love.
Like both of yours does.
I'm not saying that you guys don't need therapy.
Of course. How can you say that?
But what I can definitely say is that you both need a short break from therapy.
Meaning instead of once a week, once every two weeks?
I mean I'm going to Costa Rica.
- What? - I'm taking a year off.
I need a break too.
You're taking a break, Dr. Rastogi?
Even I wake up every morning, look at Rishabh sleeping...
...and think, I need a break. But do I take one?
I understand your situation.
But what will we do during your break?
I want you to never forget the fact...
...that you love your family a lot.
Try to spend some time with each member of your family.
Talk about nice, positive things.
Especially with each other.
Then, you'll see your lives will be so much better.
But you could have said all this on our first session?
By now, we have spent Rs. 50,000.
We still need you a lot, doc.
No, but we understand. You also need a break.
You earn so much, you must need time to spend all that money, right?
How can I handle all this without you?
Shef, I'm here. I'll help you.
[Gulfam] Look, you both can at least try.
If there is an emergency, there is always Skype and Paypal.
Right?
- Okay. - Okay.
[music playing]
[Theme Music Playing]