38 Degrees. 38 degrees. I checked
the temperature yesterday.
It was 38 f*****g degrees.
I understand that Grandpa is old and feels colder but
Who burns a bonfire at 2 in the afternoon?
With all due respect, are you blind?
The sun is shining on you!
And, fine, if you want to burn a bonfire then do it!
But if you don't find wood, will you burn somebody's furniture?
You know what Laxmi aunty was saying?
That he gave the guards Rs. 20 each and the guards picked up my cupboard
took it to the terrace, broke it into pieces and burnt it.
I loved that cupboard Mikesh!
Are you even listening Mikesh?
Mikesh?
Yeah? Sorry, I caught a wink due to the darkness.
You were saying something?
I am blindfolded because you were going to give me a surprise. Why are you blindfolded?
I was getting it one free on one, would I have wasted it?
And, listen, Tanu Where is your face?
Why are you crying so much Tanu?
You know what this is? You are getting mood swings due to your hormonal changes.
Please don't cry. Grandpa keeps behaving silly, now and again.
No! He does it deliberately.
Because of him, my aunt and your mother aren't talking since a month.
Now when will we get married?
And he can't stand anyone's happiness.
Laxmi aunty was saying that she has left the papads to dry on the roof.
She had made them with such great difficulty.
And Grandpa roasted the in the bonfire and are them.
Why would you eat somebody else's papad? They are made with so much difficulty.
Tanu? Tanu. Come on!
Who get's so sentimental about the neighbour's papads? Just relax.
Just calm down.
Oh, brother Mikesh
What happened?
I winked at you and you totally missed out on that.
Have we reached?
As soon as we reached the location
The map pointer stopped exactly on the dot, brother Mikesh.
Look at coincidences the almighty creates!
Purshotam have you brought us to the location
that I fed in the phone? Please check once again.
I shall check right now.
Wow, Shabnam! Very well done. You have brought us to the right place.
We have reached, brother.
Thank you very much Sir. Thanks for all the help.
This is our job.
Just sign below here. By the time you are done clicking the
photographs, your marriage certificate will be issued.
Sign?
Do you have a pen? -I don't have a pen.
Pen.
Please take it.
And once you are done signing, keep it with you.
A wedding gift from my end.
No, sir, how can we? -Please keep it. I bought
them from the footpath. 5 pens for Rs. 10
Keep it. No problem. Please keep it.
Thank you so much Sir. - Thank you so much Sir.
- May God bless you.
Atul brother, tea.
What's the deal? So much happiness?
Is it because of the new shirt or the I phone?
Nothing like that.
Actually, today my elder son's PMT results are due. -Okay
The papers have gone well.
The coaching classes' teachers were saying that
he will be in the top 10 from all over India.
That's great news! Congratulations!
At least let the results come first. -Okay
By the way, since I have been transferred to the
marriage registrar office, my life has been quite set.
You definitely earn good karma when you marry eloped lovers. -You do get it.
I swear, my fate is shinier than ever.
Careful, there are steps here, Tanu.
There is one more.
Mikey, you took me to a pickle factory last time for a surprise.
This better not be something like that.
Tanu, wait a little bit.
Purshottamji, I asked you to tie a simple knot, you have tied a sailor's knot.
It is not opening.
Yes, son. What rank did you get?
Are you telling me your rank or mobile number?
It is too bright. Someone please switch off the lights.
Careful!
Are you hurt?
I couldn't see anything. -Who keeps a table like this in the middle of an office?
What if my brother would have gotten hurt?
Ghatokach, you?
And what are Dritrashtra and Gandhari doing here?
Mikey, I am done with this! -Isn't he... ?
Are we changing house again? We 2 years of the contract left.
Tanu, I am trying to make the contract for 7 lives and you are stuck on 2 years.
We are getting married.
Look at this, mangalsutra, garland. -Witness
This was the plan. Surprise wedding.
Just the way you wanted it.
Cheap, beautiful and long lasting.
Like it?
I completely like it brother.
I knew everything and I was still surprised.
Where is dad? And your parents? And my aunt?
We shall Whatsapp the wedding pictures to them.
Didn't you say you wanted less people in the wedding?
Less, yes. But parents are needed in a wedding.
Sometimes you want to get married in front of 500 people and
sometimes in front of the driver. Can you be in a normal state?
You are confusing me.
Brother, I don't mind. I know that sister's harmonium is changing. I understand.
It is not harmonium. It is hormones.
Oh hello! Drama group. What is all this happening here?
Oh sir, sorry. How are you?
I am Mikesh.
We have met before. Sit, sit.
Actually, I was sitting at home, free.
I was in the mood for marriage. I thought might as well make it a surprise.
Even mum and dad will be surprised.
Can we fix it for 3:15?
There is a movie show at 3:45. I was thinking
that the whole family will watch it together.
There is one at 5:15 as well. But there is more traffic at that time.
Have you read the notice board outside?
No, I didn't read it. I was blindfolded.
If there is more payment for an urgent
wedding I am ready to pay for it.
Mr. Mikesh, It doesn’t work like that.
It is written on the website, it is even there on the notice board.
There is a notice period of an entire month.
But all of you watch Bollywood films
and come straight here to get married.
Miss Saniya, you are smart. You must be watching English movies?
If you submit the documents today,
Then you will be allotted a date that is 30 days away.
And 3 witnesses are required, who are educated, who know how to sign.
Sir, I have a Non Audible
That too in 2nd class.
Sir the thing is that,
The papers are at home.
If I go home, come back here and then go
to the mall, it will be a lengthy detour.
I will come home with you. I have no other work here.
Why do you come with your problems, every time to my office?
First, go and read the notice board carefully.
And you will have to submit 2 sets of
photocopies, along with the original documents.
And, if you don’t have original documents, you will not get a date.
Ms. Saniya, why are you crying?
Tanu, what happened?
My passport and pan card were in the cupboard
and Grandpa burnt it all.
All those original documents were in....
Shit!
Sister-in-law, don’t cry.
If you want, take my documents.
I just got my pan card made.
Wait a minute everyone.
Sir, there is a problem with the original documents.
What I am suggesting is that since both of us are here,
And we are totally in a mood to get married,
And the auspicious thread and garland are also here.
Get u married now, sooner than later. Please adjust a little.
Work with integrity.
Get your new documents made, submit them,
Then you shall be allotted a date.
Please get up now.
Start the process now so you can get married within a month.
Go! -Sir...
Sir, we can’t wait for 3 – 4 months. There is a problem.
You have been together for so many years,
What will happen in 3 – 4 months?
Ms. Saniya…
Call an cab as soon as you eat dessert. I will be there.
Okay.
And take care of my sister-in-law.
Give her medicine after 9pm.
Yes, okay.
She is my girl, you go take care of your mother.
Bloody loser.
What happened? Are you okay?
I am sorry.
Why? What happened?
My mood swings must be causing you so much trouble?
And handling me right now would be so tough for you.
There is nothing like that.
I start crying anywhere at any time.
Some times in front of these strangers,
You must be feeling embarrassing, right?
Be honest with me?
That day we went to the mall,
For some shopping and you held the mannequin and started crying,
Saying I wish I could wear that; that was a little embarrassing.
That was too much?
10- 15 minutes are okay,
But you cried for half an hour.
And then the security guards came in. A crowd formed.
That does make a little embarrassing.
So I embarrass you now?
A man would be a little embarrassed.
Now that I am pregnant, you feel embarrassed to go out with me,
Because I can react anyhow, anywhere, right?
When did I say that?
Do you realize what I am going through Mikesh?
Tanu?
There is a compressed version of a human inside me.
I am preparing to give birth to our baby.
So sometimes if I get unreasonable, cut me some slack, will you?
-I haven’t said anything… You didn’t say anything?
You are putting forth the point and then countering it.
What happened to you? Are you okay?
No I am not. I am scared,
Because of you, look at you.
You are going to be a father in 6 months.
You will be responsible for a human life.
You make one small mistake and then, that’s it; permanent damage.
You can’t decide which kind of dal you want to eat for lunch,
How will you make the big decisions in the baby’s life?
Both of them look yellow to me so I get confused.
I will be more decisive about...
...dal. I'll... I’ll try harder. I’m sorry.
No, no. I am sorry. That was so horrible to you.
Something is really wrong with me Mickey.
No, no, nothing has happened. It is okay.
You think I should go see that tantrik Mr. Purshottam had recommended?
May be that will help me?
Why are you scaring me like this Tanu?
What is all this tantrik business? Wait a little.
There is no need for that.
We shall go to Uncle’s anniversary dinner then go home,
You will be in deep sleep for 10- 12 hours and you will be fine.
Once you start you don’t stop; you want to go to a tantric.
You know how weird there suggestions are; feed imarti to the dogs, do witchcraft.
You know last night I dreamt that our baby, before saying ma, said cool.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, son, welcome.
Please take of your shoes outside.
You never know Goddess Lakshmi might get upset because of the shoes.
-Sorry, but please don’t mind. No, it is alright.
Come, please come inside.
How much more Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) do you need?
You have such a big bungalow in Mumbai.
It is very beautiful.
Yes, it is a beautiful bungalow.
Suchi’s grandfather, before dying, left it in her name,
And that is why I said yes to her and I am still reaping the benefits.
Come, come inside.
This is your anniversary gift. Happy anniversary.
It isn’t my anniversary yet.
It takes place on Radha Jayanti. There is lots of time to go.
You called us suddenly for dinner tonight,
so we thought it is your anniversary.
-I will tell you why I called you. I thought that it is your...
I will tell you why I called you.
Come inside now. Sit. I shall be back in 2 minutes.
Come sit.
I am asking you a simple question.
Can you answer that?
How can he be rude?
Yes madam, he was extremely rude.
I am… I am talki…
Just shut up and listen to me.
You serve horrible food in your restaurant
and all your waiters are bloody rude.
Yes! First and foremost, stop calling yourself an authentic Italian restaurant
Because you do not put curry leaves in bruschetta.
How many weeks? -14, starting this Friday.
-You? 16.
I am Avantika. Hi.
This is my husband, Hemant.
Hi I am Tanya. This is Mikesh.
Our friends call us Tankesh.
No, nobody calls us Tankesh.
Tiwari calls us Tankesh.
Tiwari is a nobody.
So, Dr. Mudhati, is your gynac as well?
Yes, yes
He delivered my first baby also.
Priya. She is going to be 4 in July, 20th July.
Shall I show you the pictures or will it be, too, typical?
No, who cares? I would love to see them.
Really?
I am not bothering you, right? -No, no. -Not at all.
Go and sit there, Mikesh.
I am some kid whom you are telling to go and sit there?
Her first photo.
It is on a beat, right?
The smiley face won’t wear off right, if
you throw it against the wall, too, much?
She loves wearing my shoes.
There is a match between India and Australia, right?
Don’t know what the score is?
Do watch the match?
-Is it a chess match? No, it is a cricket match.
Then I don’t watch it.
What are you watching?
Screen savers.
I like the dolphin ones.
They move upon touching.
Touch it.
See?
What?
Why are we here?
Have you thought about it?
It is a very deep question,
Psychologists are looking for answers since centuries;
Purpose of life, why are we born?
No, I mean this house.
Why are we called here?
I don’t know about here.
There is something wrong; something’s wrong.
There are no wife or children, here. He is doing all his work on his own.
I think his wife has left him.
He is getting divorced.
No, no. Why do you think so?
Do you eat pastry?
-Yes. You must eat pastry, right?
Yes, I like red velvet.
Now imagine, you work in a bakery,
Where you are surrounded by pastries for 12 hours a day.
In fact, your job profile is how to handle pastries;
How should this pastry look, how should this pastry be,
This pastry’s taste isn’t good, how can this pastry be better,
pastry, pastry, pastry, pastry, all your life pastry,
pastry, pastry, now would you like to eat pastry?
No, if there is so much of an overdose of
pastry then I would not like to eat them.
Exactly.
He is a gynac.
The person who would look at the same thing every day,
He would be a little… with it.
Plus,
He couldn’t satisfy his wife.
She got irritated; she left.
No. If he was getting divorced, he wouldn’t call us for a party.
No, why not?
People do it.
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello everyone.
Thank you so much for coming.
Come, sit on the dining table, and talk.
Actually, we have eaten already.
You had your dinner at 8:30?
We finish dinner by 6:30 and sleep by 8:00.
It is the weekend tomorrow,
That is why we are out this late in the night.
Otherwise... -We have to put Priya to sleep.
The babysitter won’t be able to do it.
Until we don’t go, she won’t sleep.
We better make a move.
No, no, no, no. What do you mean by...
Please come sit, we have to talk about something important.
Okay.
I know that but… -Baby!
But, , , no, no, I told you before,
I can’t delete that tweet.
What am I going to say to my 463 followers.
I have to be honest. I am...
Okay, send me the refund and I will see what I can do.
Okay.
Sorry, sorry so sorry guys. I am really sorry.
Professional hazards of being a food critic.
-Blogger. Same thing.
So, what is this? Some kind of pregnant parents meet?
I will tell you. I will switch of the music first.
First of all, I would like to express that I am
very happy that all of us have met together.
Hemant, Avantika,
I know them since 5 years and they were my first customer, uh, patients.
It was their first baby and my first case, right?
This is Miku, my nephew, Mikesh.
And this is…
what’s your name?
-Tanya. Tanya. I am so sorry,
my handwriting is so bad that sometimes,
I write and forget my patients’ name.
I can’t read it.
This is Mr. and Mrs. Chhabria.
I know their father since Delhi.
I am Agnivesh, this is Shivani.
Hi, goddessoftastebuds. in, my site.
You must check it out. I review all kinds of cuisines,
Indian, Chinese, Continental, mostly continental.
One minute, I had an important thing to say.
Oh, sorry. I thought he was done talking.
You guys are my favourite patients,
And that is why we are here.
You must be thinking that,
Dr. Mudhit never offers you a cup of tea,
And today he is offering you a cup of tea.
But there is no personal greed in this.
Ok.
I am helping one of you.
Now I will explain how I am helping you.
I have a brother called Dinesh. He is an amazing astrologer.
I randomly told him one day that these days my planets are not aligned in my favour,
Help me by doing a few for me.
He told me to first check my deeds.
If you fix you your deeds, all your planets will align and become correct.
I wondered how such a pure and religious doctor like me did anything wrong.
Then I remembered that I committed one sin.
I have committed one big mistake,
And that is why Goddess Lakshmi is upset with me.
And I will have correct this mistake of mine,
And I will correct this mistake today.
But what is the mistake I have committed?
You know that saying that there is a peacock
dancing in the jungle but who has seen it? I have seen it.
I saw everything.
Somebody I know is cheating on their partner.
And I have seen this.
And this is the big mistake that I have made.
I want that I should tell them.
But then I wonder, why I should tell them, I am not a snitch!
Why I should I tell them?
It is wrong to gossip, isn’t it?
Then Suchi, my wife,
Gave me an idea,
She is very smart.
If she didn’t get physical in small fights,
Then there wouldn’t be better wife material than her.
She is amazing.
So she told me that for example, if I told you,
That you have dung stuck on your shoe,
What will you do, then?
You will lift your left leg first,
And if it isn’t soiled and if you trust me then,
You will be sure that it is stuck to your right shoe.
But if I tell you that,
In your shoes rack, one sandal or shoe has dung stuck on it
Shit.
That means you have to do a lot work,
As you will have to check all of them.
But one thing still stands that,
You will be free of your sin,
You won't fill guilty,
As you haven’t gossiped about a particular shoe.
Doctor, I am not understanding what exactly you are trying to say.
If it isn’t important, then both of would leave.
It is important. If it weren’t important then,
would I be wasting my time here? It is important.
One of your shoe has shit, dung stuck on it.
Uncle, you asked us to remove our shoes, outside.
If you say it, we can go outside and check it.
I am telling you that one of you is cheating on your partner.
Please solve it among yourselves as to who it is,
Make me guilt free. I am not telling people who it is.
From now onwards, I will be quiet.
What?
That means that there is somebody...
...at this table who is cheating.
Like someone on this table is cheating on their? -Spouse.
So,
Why don’t you directly take the name?
Why are you playing this sick twisted game with us? This is not cool.
You called us for dinner and you are paying this game, why?
He is our uncle.
So what? What is wrong is wrong.
This is a lot of nonsense and am really sorry but,
I don’t want to be involved in this. We have to go. We already late.
-Absolutely.
Wait, wait. We can’t just leave like this guys.
One second. -What happened? I am fine.
If one of us here,
like doctor said, is guilty of adultery, then,
Then,
There is also a victim here, guys.
-But… No but,
But don’t you think we owe it to her or him?
We need to sit down and sort this out; right now.
Excuse me,
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
It is definitely not us.
Our sex life is rocking.
It's like Exhibit A.
Look out for yourselves. We are good.
Oh! By that logic, this is exhibit B and that
is exhibit C, and the conversation is over.
We need to go step by step.
Guys, don’t worry, I am here.
I have read a lot of Agatha Christie and Hercule Poirot.
-So she is now a reader.
And being an author myself... -Blogger.
Author myself,
I know how to handle these mysteries. Okay?
Person to person to person.
Yes. We will have to check every one, one by one.
Baby?
What?
Check it.
No, I don’t need to check it.
I check it anyway, every time you go for a shower.
You haven’t done anything like it, right?
Can I be honest?
Shivani, I love you.
But I can’t be romantic.
You know my schedule.
I go for a jog at 6 in the morning and then office at 8.
You can check the CCTV footage. I am there till 8:30.
I am back home by 9:00. I am with you on holidays and weekends.
Even if I want to Shivani, I don’t have the tie to cheat on you,
Not that I would ever want to do that.
How did he say that, so fast! He has memorized it at home.
Uncle, is he the killer? Cheater?
Look,
Look, I know your schedule and all, but after that,
Roma incident, I am not really sure.
Baby, that was long time ago.
And we were not even committed then.
It has been 5 years since I broke up with her.
Last I heard, she was somewhere in Australia.
Now don’t say that I have online sex with her.
Why can’t you do it? There are ways to do that. Right, Tanu?
Listen guys, you two specially,
Just because I am the best looking guy on this table doesn’t mean you pick on me.
No, come on, it is not my fault that I have a perfect jawline.
-And now we have a Casanova.
And Shivani, please be rational.
I had my bachelor party organized by you.
I am saving my EL, so that next month,
we can go and meet your sister in London.
I take a silly lunch box to office.
You know how much this marriage means to me, right?
Yes, yes, I know.
-No, you don’t. I do. But...
...I had to check, right?
Guys.
We all have to do this.
This?
Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll go first.
Before my husband I had only one boyfriend.
But he is in jail now.
So that rules out my possibility, right?
And,
Femina fact,
85% of extra-marital affairs happen with previous partners.
-I read that. Yeah?
Yeah!
So first step,
Talk to your partner about their exes.
Okay, guys, are we really going to do this?
Yes of course. -No. No. No.
Are we going to participate in this silly game?
We have to. -No. No. No.
This is so juvenile.
-This is not happening. -I just want to go home.
-No why? -Seriously?
-Absolute nonsense.
What?
They show it in Hollywood movies,
the one who is the least doubted, is always the criminal.
So are you saying that I am?
No, no. Not at all.
Doubting was trending so I doubted you otherwise never.
You know, we are 100% committed.
I was in US for 4 years.
I was alone there and Tanu was alone here.
But we never felt the need of anybody else.
And he was calling me a murderer.
Hey you, with the perfect jawline,
-So what?
I know what it sounds like when I am saying such things,
But there is no possibility of such things,
I may slip, but Tanu would never do something like that.
Okay we believe you.
Let’s believe that you guys are off the hook,
For now at least.
What about you guys?
What about us?
Aren’t you guys, too, quiet?
Nice observation Shivani. I almost missed this.
Because it is better to keep quiet than to keep saying
stupid things all the time that also very loudly.
-Thank you. Oh, yeah?
So everybody is stupid on this table except for the 2 of you, right?
By everybody, you mean, you two and Mikesh, right?
One second, I am going to come back to you. You are next.
Oh ya? I am so scared.
-What to say?
You guys.
Yeah, we are listening to you.
The minute Dr. Mudhit said that somebody on this table is cheating,
Why were you guys in such a hurry to leave?
Hercule Poirot, I have a 3 year old daughter who needs to sleep.
Yeah, okay.
But didn’t you once doubt your husband that he could be the one cheating on you?
No.
Not at all?
-No. Are you sure?
I said no.
And you sir?
Sir, Shivani, is asking you something.
Your reality show strategies won’t work here. Just because
you are silent, doesn’t mean no one will doubt you.
Speak up!
I am feeling sleepy.
I think you are quieter than required.
Of course. You guys are squabbling over like children,
So I am quiet and I am sleepy.
Hemant, this is the time to talk. Just tell them that it is not like that.
They are pointing fingers at you. They are accusing you.
Just open your mouth and say it. -Are you mad?
Do you really think I am going to explain
myself to these high school musical kids?
You trust me right? Then I needn’t give any explanations.
I don’t understand why you are getting so defensive.
You can just say no.
Defensive? -Yes.
What happened to you?
You don’t know my schedule?
I wake up at 7 to go and give a lecture.
I am habituated to sleeping early.
The children sleep if the teacher yawns even once.
You know what happened yesterday?
A jat boy, on the last bench, wore a blanket and slept.
Look at these guys…
No, no, one second.
Mrs. Avantika,
Are you a deep sleeper?
Excuse me?
Oh, so now you are going to interrogate?
No, I was just being curious.
What happens is that I sleep for only 5 hours a night,
But I am a very deep sleeper.
It doesn’t bother me even if there are drums being played loudly near my ear.
It looks like you would be sleeping for at least 10 to 12 hours a day.
I am just wondering that within the hours that you sleep,
Someone else might be spending those hours with someone else?
You are the man. That was a very good point!
Oh shut up! Don’t listen to these people.
Are you guys mad?
You don’t even know me to make us acquisitions.
And what are you looking at? Don’t listen to them.
Why are you looking at me like that? What’s wrong?
Who is Sheetal?
It's over.
Who keeps sending you happy messages?
It was a happy teacher’s day message.
She is my student. I am her guide.
Student! Child?
Look at how he is making her repay!
Listen to me, ok. Stop saying that.
Are you mad?
That same day Ketan, Vivek and Sameer messaged me,
You didn’t remember any of these names but you remembered Sheetal?
I don’t know what to think.
If it isn’t you then who is it? It isn’t Hemant, right?
Ask these people.
And, her?
Since the time she is here, she is on the phone.
Maybe she is talking to a restaurant owner or not, how do we know?
Classic guilty person behaviour.
Immediately shifted all the blame to her.
You haven’t even answered her question. Who is Sheetal, sir?
Why are you guys cornering me?
Guys, it is me okay?
I am really sorry everyone. I am so sorry.
I knew it! I knew it!
Baby, I had a gut feeling from the beginning.
Did you see her body language? She was so defensive.
It is over baby, its over.
She can't be...
These moods swings have been going on since the past 2 week.
She is talking rubbish.
I am so sorry Mikesh.
I don’t know how you came to know, I don’t understand.
Can we please talk about this when we go to our place?
Wait,
I think you should talk about this here, in front of us.
What?
What if you are lying?
What if you are doing this to get away from here?
How will that matter to you?
If you are lying,
And the cheater is here,
Then one of us will never find out that our partner is cheating on us.
Avantika?
Still?
Have doubts on me?
I have just showed you everything. -Yes!
Prove it.
Prove to us that you are cheating on him.
What, you guys?
Okay, I’ll tell you.
No, I’ll tell you.
Mikesh when you were in the US,
I used to get really lonely,
Leo used to come to the house sometimes,
To just talk.
-Leo?
Ya, Leo.
One minute.
This is wrong.
What happened? You said you weren’t going to say a word.
If nobody is able to catch your lie, I will have to speak up.
-Uncle? No, Tanya, this is wrong.
No.
I am already doing so much to get away from one sin,
By spinning this lie, you are involving me in another sin.
No, she isn’t the one.
Look son, trust me. She isn’t the one.
Tanu! What are you doing? You are lying?
Feel my heartbeat, it has gone off the charts.
Come here. Non Audible
You could have taken anybody’s name. -Okay, calm down.
You are taking leo’s name. He is a slut.
No but this is not done.
You are cheating in a game of cheating.
Why are you suddenly defending people?
Like this, you will save everybody one by one.
And when the blame was on us, why didn’t you say something?
Okay, I will be quiet again.
Now what’s the point?
Doctor, now you have to say something.
Uncle, I am telling you, these two are
speaking the most, it has to be one of them.
Come on! He started again.
He has said she isn’t cheating, it could be that you are.
-Me? I am cheating? Ya!
-Yes! I am cheating?
Firstly, I am noticing that since you have come here,
You have been saying it happens, it happens. What happens?
It happens.
Look at him, again.
I will tell you uncle what happens.
When you were over there making tea,
He was sitting here and saying that you weren’t satisfying Aunty, sexually,
That is why she left you.
Hey you undisciplined man.
I have written a research papers on female orgasms.
Ask you aunt,
She was crazy about me.
She is no more Mudhit.
She is no more?
That's sick.
Uncle, now tell us what to do.
I spoke to your father recently, he didn’t tell me anything about it.
Uncle,
What did we do about this suspense?
I don’t want to talk about it. I am going to stay quiet.
I have a solution.
You please let it be. You will again say it happens.
If it happens, it happens
I am not playing.
It is not a game.
Tell us. Tell us what the solution is.
What I am saying is,
If the person who is having the extra marital, is here,
Then his/ her phone will contain some trace of it for sure.
There is Whatsapp, messages, pics, somewhere
or the other there will be a trace of it.
Yeah, yeah.
According to me, we should check each other’s phones.
The truth will come out on its own.
Hold on,
This is blatant invasion of privacy. ok.
There are so many personal details on a phone.
I can’t just give it to a stranger.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have nothing to hide, anybody can check my phone,
But I would like to check yours; especially yours.
Unless and until there is something objectionable in it. I don't know.
I am not showing my phone.
There. Do we still have any doubts?
Hemant, what problem do you have? They are asking, show it to them. Show it to him.
Avantika, you know I don’t remember things.
I have stored my ATM pins, email passwords,
Everything here and I should just give it away?
Oh, come on! Who is interested in your email passwords?
She is your wife. Show it to her or do you have a problem with that as well?
Oh, okay then. So, it is decided then.
I shall explain the rules to everyone once more, ok.
In this round, we shall check each other’s phones. That’s it.
It is a game for her.
Ok. That's it. Come on.
Sorry baby but I am going to have to check yours again.
No, you don’t have to be sorry and please give me yours.
Tanu.
I don’t want to see. I know you wouldn’t do anything. So, relax.
Tanu? Do you see me as completely worthless?
I agree that I haven’t done anything but can doubt me a little bit, right?
Look at them doubting each other.
Please keep my image in mind.
Okay, give.
Checked. -Me, too.
Not that I ever doubted. It isn’t Shivani.
So that leaves the three of you.
You know, baby,
I am almost sure it is one of them.
Doctor, can we take a vote and make decision?
Because I can bet it is one of them.
Can you please stop it? Stop it guys.
Can you please stop picking on them?
Why? What’s your problem?
Have you noticed baby,
That even last time when we were talking about them,
she was trying to take the blame on herself and leave.
Oh, my God!
You are trying to save them.
No. Agatha Christie I am not trying to save them.
But you know something that we don’t. You are trying to protect them.
We don’t need to be protected, we can take care of ourselves.
Thank you so much.
You know, no. I think they need to know.
-Yes! Hemant and Avantika over here.
They have a 3 year old autistic daughter at home. -Oh, my God!
And I was not trying to protect them,
I was trying to help them get out of here,
Because they usually don’t get out of the house.
Until they don’t reach home, their daughter won’t sleep.
So please, can you let them be? Spare them.
Tanya we don’t need your sympathy, okay?
I am not trying to sympathize with you.
This is not relevant to this discussion. Please. -Stupid.
Getting my daughter involved. -No, it is.
It is relevant.
And that explains everything.
What? What does that explain?
Guys, for one second,
keep your emotions aside and think about,
Why one cheats on their partner?
Why, why do they cheat?
Maybe because they aren’t happy in their present relationship or family.
Right? And...
...and I am not saying anything and I am not judging them,
But look at them. Do they look happy to you?
No, they don’t and why?
Because it is not their fault,
They are genuinely stuck with a handicapped child.
Autism is not a handicap. What’s wrong with you?
-Enough! I am not saying that. -Enough!
Stop it before I do something stupid.
Why should I stop it?
Because of you guys, my wife is doubting me, I didn’t say anything.
If you don’t find happiness in your happiness,
can you let the happiness stay in my house?
And only when a person is not happy in their home, he goes outside to find it.
I will beat the shit out of you.
-Move it! -Oh, shut up!
-Uncivilized moron!
Calm down. What happened to you?
No but this is what happens. When a person does not
happiness in his home, is when he goes out to find it.
-Okay, but calm down.
I am talking to him calmly.
-He is not worth it.
Now will you do something? Or do you still want to watch and get entertained?
Say something and end this. Please!
-These people are just not worth it.
Look at them. There is a limit to selfishness.
They can’t take care of one child and they are preparing for another.
-Please stop your nonsense.
No, please try to understand what I am trying to say.
Do you know what the population of this country is?
If you don’t know, travel with me in 6:00am local train.
There is so much rush in the morning train that it will boggle your mind.
But nobody is bothered about the country.
As if we don’t know.
One second,
Do you jog at 6:00am in the local train?
We are talking about something else.
Come on! I am not saying that.
But didn’t you just say that you went jogging at 6 in the morning,
And now you are saying that you are catch a local train in the morning?
So, I am getting confused.
Because if you do jog in the train, you will cover more distance,
But if you apply relative motion,
Does anybody have a pen and paper?
One second, You are not understanding what I am saying.
You are confusing people.
I go for jogging to the stadium.
But you can go there by car as well.
Baby, I do go by car. But I…
Chanting in Sanskrit
He is the shoe that has dung on it.
What?
You are cheating on me?
And that, too, at 6 in the morning. So much dedication!
People get up at 6 in the morning and do yoga for health,
And you do “this” at six in the morning?
Miku! You are a genius, son. Genius!
And you were spreading rumours about me?
Mrs. Chhabbra, I went to the Siddhivinayak temple to pray.
Ask him who he was standing outside with. Who was she?
Who was it?
Was it Roma?
No baby. You know Roma is in Australia.
Roma is not in Australia but in Ghatkopar. They meet at a hotel.
I have a record of the past 15 days.
Ghatkopar?
But why baby?
Why?
Baby, why?
What why baby?
Can’t you see what’s happening?
Have you no idea?
And I have told you several times that I am just
28 and I am not ready to start a family now.
I am not able to handle the stress of my career,
And I am not a super hero that I will be able to do everything,
And I have explained this to you, but you refused.
Baby, I can’t be a father right now.
I am not cut out for this job.
Roma was only because I needed an escape and she just happened to be there.
She just happened to be there?
And what about us?
What about our future?
What about Brooklyn?
And this is how you choose to break it to me?
I need to call my parents.
Listen, Shivani. Please listen to me.
Baby there is nothing emotional... -Stop talking nonsense.
I know I am talking stupidly. -Shut up!
And, you. Couldn’t you tell me this in person instead of calling me to dinner?
You know what doctor, I should have done this long before.
You are fired.
I am moving to Dr. Mehta.
Dr. Mehta has fake degrees. What are you doing?
If you search for ovary on Google, I am the first result on the third page.
-Please go. Where will I go?
Avantika, I am so sorry.
You had to hear so much because of me. I am really very sorry.
-It is okay. So sorry.
We have to hear a lot worse in public places.
-I am sorry. Don’t worry about it.
Hemant it is very late Priya wouldn’t have slept. -Yes, carefully.
She just doesn't sleep without me.
Please call Rashmi once.
Have you checked her messages? -Excuse me, Hemant?
Can I ask you a question, if you don’t mind?
I am always skeptical of people who ask questions
with disclaimers. Please go ahead and ask.
Don’t you feel like...
Don’t you feel trapped sometimes?
Like when you have a kid, the whole life is centered on it?
They have so many special requirements. You can’t have your leisure time.
It is nothing like that. -It is nothing like that.
In the beginning we thought,
That now we wouldn’t be able to go clubbing or go partying.
And this one here was a wild one.
We thought we would always be stuck at home and our life will change.
But, honestly, our life did change.
You know when we talk to our children, play with her,
Tell her stories, try to listen to what she has to say,
We never realized that all of this would be so enjoyable.
And, it is beautiful. It is tough for me to explain but it beautiful.
Isn’t there a fear or something wrong happening?
There are so many responsibilities.
What keeps you going?
The child.
Actually, yeah.
The child keeps us going.
It is your first that is why you won’t understand it,
But once you become parents, you understand everything.
You remember when we were children, we used to make mustaches with pencils,
Wear our father’s shoes and wear a big coat, mimic the elders.
I think there are still people out there,
Who are just pretending to be adults,
They never became adults.
Have you become an adult?
I don’t know.
Yes, I think.
You know the first time you see your child’s face,
There is different feeling that tells you that you have grown up.
Why are you looking at me like that, horrified?
Don't worry.
I swear to God, the first time that you see your child,
-Very special. You will grow up.
It is beautiful. Your life will change and trust me, for the better.
Smile guys. Come on.
It is Rashmi’s phone. Priya must be really anxious. Yes. Let’s go.
-Guys really sorry bye bye. Sorry got to go.
It was great meeting you. Take care guys.
Yes, Rashmi, we will be reaching in half an hour.
What happened Mickey?
How will it happen?
What “how will it happen?”
You were right.
How will I become a father?
I can barely peel a boiled egg.
How will I handle a child?
You will manage, don’t worry.
You know Tiwari’s brother had a child,
I was playing with him. I almost dropped him.
Tiwari caught him at the last minute.
Hemant is such a mature man.
I am complete fool.
What if I am not cut out for this job? -Don’t say such things.
No Tanu, I am saying the correct thing.
Remember Avinash was saying that there is a lot
of pressure, you have to manage a lot of things,
And even super heroes aren’t able to manage such things.
Have you ever seen Batman or Superman getting married and raising children?
If they are not able to do it, then how will I be able to do it?
You are bigger than a super hero for me.
I know you will do everything. I was raised by one such super hero so I know.
You father is capable of so many things.
I am nowhere close to a super hero.
You are.
Whenever you mess up things, you always fix them.
I don’t know about Superman and Batman,
You are my super hero.
You are nice man.
Nice man.
Cool.
They should have comics of Nice man.
Nice man comics.
Nice man v/s bad boys.