[quirky music playing]
[snoring lightly]
[footsteps approaching]
[all whispering]
Where are you guys going?
I'll get you, you fucking bitches!
I've got killer whales that hunt on my command.
You better watch your back because Tilikum's coming! [imitates whale]
- Where are they going? - Where the fuck do you think?
To find people and food.
And sexual partners.
[Tegan] Is that the whole class?
Sandy, did they steal your boat?
Yeah, and all the kayaks and all the canoes and the dead fucking chicken.
Some party, Amelia.
[screams] Wait! Guys!
I overslept!
Guys, for the love of God, don't leave me here!
[gasps]
[Zoe] Hey, buddy.
Breakfast's ready.
Please come and eat, Amelia. We've just boiled the last school shoe.
You got to get it while you can because we're moving on to carpet next.
Hey, have you ever tried a positivity journal?
I hear those things can rewire your brain.
Or what about, um... What about that laugh therapy thing?
You want to try that?
It's gonna be really weird at first, but I'll do it with you, okay? You ready?
One, two, three.
[laughs]
Stop trying to fix me, Zoe. I'm not going to fight this.
This is a perfectly natural reaction to the situation.
But there's people out there.
We just gotta wait for the others to find them and bring back help.
It's been 18 days, Zoe.
It's adorable you think they're ever coming back.
It's not like they've got a bloody mega yacht, you know.
It's going to take them a minute.
Either that or they're dead.
[soft piano music playing]
[grunts]
Is that it?
But the insole's got the most nourishment,
- and I'm eating for two. - [all] I'm eating for two.
[Teresa] It's annoying, but she's right, guys.
[all groaning]
[Sandy] Oh, whatever. I'm leaving soon, okay?
And if those bitches hadn't stolen my boat, I'd be out there
eating gull right now, not sensible fucking shoes.
[Sister Bicky] Any luck?
Not really. She's like a phone without a signal.
Ooh! Where did we get sea salt flakes from?
Dandruff.
It just adds, like, a little something-something. Here.
Okay.
[sighs]
[thuds]
[Tegan] There she goes again.
[slurping]
[Sister Bicky pats leg]
I don't think she's ever been out this long before.
[gasps]
[all groaning]
[retches]
Don't waste it.
Stop!
Guys, it's time. We need to discuss it again.
- [all] No! - Uh-uh.
- Hell, no. - It's not an option, Renee.
Okay? We just have to hang in there until the new crops come in.
And, in the meantime, the music room's freshly renovated,
the carpet's hardly been sat on.
Carpet isn't food!
Okay? We're never going to survive on carpet.
For weeks, our bodies have been going through
all our glycerol and ketone stores,
and now they're eating away at the muscle protein, too.
People can survive for ages on barely anything.
Look at Gandhi.
Look at Gwyneth Paltrow.
What? Not without their key organs failing.
Guys, our bodies are shutting down already.
That stench, that is our kidneys failing.
And our lungs, they're in the process of shrinking.
Our hearts will just eventually shrivel up and give out.
It's usually a heart attack that gets you in the end.
Or an infection.
How is that, uh, stab wound, Zo?
It's barely even festering, Renee.
Guys, there is always a reason to keep going.
-Exactly. -Mmm.
Okay.
And this would be how we kept going.
And I'm so tired of being hangry.
[grunts]
Okay, Bicky, surely there are moral implications to this.
Well, I don't know.
We have been eating the body of Christ for millennia.
- [snickers] - [all murmuring agreement]
Oh, no. No, Zoe's right. It's immoral.
Oh, my God. You are overthinking this.
Okay, sure, the first time I ate that Guatemalan coast guard,
I felt weird, but then I felt fucking amazing.
Okay, well, then, if we're going to do this,
we need to do it soon before we're all too weak, right?
Oh, yeah. Okay. Cool. So who are we going to eat then?
Hmm?
[all murmuring]
Yeah, that's what I thought.
We're not going to eat anyone because how would we even decide?
Tribal council? [laughs]
[all laugh]
Tribal council.
[Sister Bicky] No, no, girls, I was joking.
No, girls. I was joking.
Oh, real cute. The nun who loves reality TV.
Not so fucking cute now, is it, Bicky?
Wait, you dickheads!
[pattering in ceiling]
Oh, that fucking possum.
[knock on door]
Hi.
I thought maybe you'd want to talk to a, uh, professional.
[pattering continues]
Obviously, you're going to have to imbue
an inanimate object with those qualities, but worked for me.
Amelia, I know that this is a really fucked-up situation,
but we're worried about you.
[pattering]
Can you hear that?
You're hearing things, are you?
Like what, voices, or...
Wait, did Zoe put you up to this?
- [Saskia] Mmm... - Amelia, please.
I think maybe it's time that we charge up the battery
to give you some electroshock therapy, yeah?
You know what? I think I will take that mop.
Shut up and let me sleep.
Shut up! Shut up.
I mean, unless her therapist works differently to mine,
I don't think Amelia is in there talking about her feelings.
You guys talking strategy?
You're not planning to vote for me, are you?
No one's voting for anyone.
[Amelia] Shut up! Shut up!
So what's your thinking in terms of, um, personality versus physicality?
Like, are you trying to weigh up who's best in terms of meat
or who's worst terms of survival value?
- Well, I was thinking... - Mm-hmm.
- We could totally split the vote, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
And end up blindsiding [loudly] no one!
You idiots.
[Saskia scoffs]
- We clearly can't rely on Zoe's vote. - Mmm.
[Zoe] Holy shitballs, Sandy. Did you do all this?
My boat looks amazing.
Yeah, I learned some shit out on the open sea, Zoe.
And it's my boat now.
Um, speaking of the open seas,
you've obviously spent quite a lot of time out there...
No thanks to you.
Yeah, still feel really bad about that. Um...
Just wondering, though. Do you think there's anywhere out there
that I could get some antidepressants for Amelia?
There has to be somewhere that hasn't been pillaged yet, right?
You're thinking about it all wrong, Zoe.
You need to find those who pillage.
It's called Scuba City.
It's this floating commune
made up of scuba diving instructors and their tour boats.
Every sun-bleached, slow-talking motherfucker
who ever wrapped their lips around a snorkel have banded together,
and now they're looting everything beneath the surface.
Wait, so all of those beach bums who failed school
and, like, chase the summer, they're fucking running shit now?
[Sandy] Pretty much.
Anything you want, they can dive down and get.
Fancy a tin of soup for dinner?
There's a Costco below.
I mean, antidepressants?
They could definitely do a chemist retrieval in their sleep.
That's amazing. That's perfect.
Yeah, it's perfect. It's amazing.
No, no. You want to avoid Scuba City, Zoe.
Anyone I ever knew who couldn't pay back Scuba City
wound up drowned.
Fuck.
Why the hell do you want to go back out there, then?
Uh, Zoe, I survived three months just by drinking my tears alone.
My weakness actually made me resilient as fuck.
I kind of want my kid thing to know that feeling too.
Teresa, as well.
As long I can convince her to come.
Aw, is that why you included the second bike?
Friendships, eh? They're all we've got.
[Sandy] Yep.
Until you're ready to eat a bitch.
[tribal music playing]
Uh, you all right?
[Sister Bicky] Girls! Eat me.
[panting] I'll do it. I'm the oldest,
I'm much more likely to go to heaven and I've found a few examples
of ritualized sacrifice in the Old Testament,
which served as a theological loophole for murder.
So, what do you say?
Uh, yeah, uh,
I think we just need a minute, Sister.
[indistinct chatter]
I'll say it.
Who's eating mutton when you could eat lamb?
Shh!
That is such a generous offer, Sister, but...
We can't eat a nun.
Because of God. It would just piss him off too much.
You understand, right?
But you can run the tribal council.
- [all agreeing] - Girls.
You've taken my little joke too far.
Oh, fuck it. Mutton it is.
No, no, no, no.
Yes, I will run tribal council.
Just give me a moment.
So, Zoe, how do you feel about the vote tonight?
Uh, yeah. Look, I'm, I'm obviously a target.
I'm the only one here who thinks this is fucking stupid.
[Amelia] You've kept me awake for the last time, you little shit.
Where are you?
[sighs]
Time to start thinking like a possum.
Once the votes are counted, the decision is final,
and the person with the highest amount of votes will be... eliminated.
[groans softly]
First vote.
Zoe.
No surprise there.
Second vote.
Teresa.
Third vote.
- Megan. - Oh!
Teresa.
What?
Teresa.
Are you fucking serious?
All I have done for months
is cook and clean for you ungrateful bitches.
All while toe-less, mind you, and this is the thanks I get?
It's not personal, honestly.
You've treated your body like a temple through years of IVF.
You're organic as shit, T.
Well, if you are all going to use motherhood against me,
then I am going to use it to save myself.
- Huh? - What?
I'm gonna raise Sandy's baby.
What? Really?
- The heck is this shit? - [Sandy] You'd do that for me?
Yes, if it keeps the baby safe.
But we're not raising it out at sea like a couple of pirate freaks.
Okay? We stay on land and we go to Renee for weekly check-ups.
Oh, okay, okay.
So I'm saved or what?
- Yes. - [Saskia] Yeah.
I mean, mothers keep things running, so T is safe.
- Thank you. - [Saskia] Congratulations.
Teresa. Does not count.
- Zoe. - Come on.
That's two votes, Zoe.
One vote, Megan.
Teresa.
Does not count.
Final vote.
It's Megan.
- What the fuck? - What the fuck?
So we have two votes, Zoe, two votes, Megan.
We have a tie.
Two-for-one meal deal.
Nice.
[growling]
Hey there, little buddy.
- [Saskia] Amelia? - [hisses]
[Amelia] No, no!
What? What do you want?
You look nice.
Uh, we just need you to
come to tribal council and vote in the tiebreaker, please.
No, I'm doing what I promised to do weeks ago, and I'm waiting for death.
Okay? You guys should try it.
Amelia!
I'm trying really hard not to regress right now.
I'm trying to be gentle.
And I understand that you have a different take on the situation.
But you are also kind of the reason that we are facing this decision.
Your little party really screwed us over.
So, please, come and vote,
because the rest of us really would love to survive, even if you don't want to.
[sighs] Fine.
[chuckles]
That was a close call...
to turn the bitch back on.
[indistinct chatter]
Sure. But why am I on the chopping block?
I'm sorry, but playing the fiddle is not a survival skill.
What, so we don't value art anymore?
This country's never valued art. Why start now?
Amelia.
Listen, I know I messed up, a lot.
But there are people out there, guys,
and there are other ways to survive.
It's not even about choosing me or choosing Megan.
It's about choosing no one.
Yeah, that... that makes sense to me.
Thank you.
[chuckles] What kind of life is this anyway, guys?
Just because human beings can survive doesn't mean that they should.
Suffering doesn't equate to meaning.
Sometimes it's just suffering.
No, no, no. That is not true. That is not what I meant.
There's always hope, okay?
- We've survived this long, I mean... - No.
No, Zoe. It doesn't matter. You're missing the point.
None of it matters.
It doesn't matter that we created electricity or that we grew crops or,
or even that there are other people out there.
Those people don't matter. We don't matter. You don't matter.
I matter.
I fucking matter. I'm the whole reason you came here.
I'm the reason you're still alive, so choose me.
Please, save me.
Oh, Zoe.
Don't you know that you're the girl who doesn't get chosen?
But somehow you're surprised to be standing here yet again,
waiting to be eliminated.
So, no, I don't choose you.
But I don't choose Megan either.
This is all gonna be over for all of us soon enough.
Let's not make it any harder until then.
She makes good points.
Yeah, actually, Zoe's fucked up a lot.
- Yeah. - Don't listen to her. She's mental.
It was Zoe who trapped us at the reunion.
Did you see what she was wearing? She's unhinged.
Zoe pushed Sandy out to sea.
And then she made Saskia take the blame.
[all murmuring]
And it was Zoe's fault the netball hoop fell on my toe.
That was an accident.
Also was an accident that you killed the last chicken at formal?
- Exactly! That's why we're starving now. - She always called me Pepé.
I'm the only one who knows how to work the radio.
- [all groaning] - She's not wrong.
- So... - True.
Now that we know that there are people out there,
that's kind of more important than ever.
Well, I can...
I don't have any comebacks.
- Megan. - [sighs]
I vote Megan.
[Phoebe] Yeah, me, too.
- No, no. - It just makes sense.
No.
[Renee] Same.
- So sorry, Megan. - Megan. Seems obvious to me.
- What the hell? - Megan.
I vote for Megan, too. And so does our baby.
- Saskia. Oh, please, you tell them. - Please you don't do this.
- Please. - Oh, guys, it's not personal.
It's just... If this is what the group wants, then,
yeah, it's Megan. I'm sorry.
Girls, this has now gone too far, and I'm very sorry
- that I played along. - [Genevieve] Call it, Sister.
For the greater good.
Don't.
The person with the highest number of votes...
is Megan.
[Tegan] Are you serious?
You're a bunch of skanks, the lot of you!
Just a bunch of daughters of bitches.
Yeah, walk away. I don't care. Fuck the lot of you!
You are a bunch of balls.
[Tegan sobbing]
[♪ Augie March: "One Crowded Hour"]
I'm sorry.
Good morning, listeners.
Today is a really bad day for us.
Once again, our coordinates are 34.4100 degrees south,
150.3037 degrees east.
We know that you're out there.
Please...
come and save us from ourselves.
How are we all feeling today?
Excited?
You good? Okay. All right, let's see what we have here.
It's obviously a baby. [chuckles]
Or is it? [chuckles]
No, no. I...
A vibrator, really?
- Please. - Just go with it, okay?
Okay. Might be a little bit cold.
By my estimations, you're about four months along.
Do you wanna hear the heartbeat?
Well, it would sound a little bit like this.
[makes fast whooshing noises]
[crying]
Really?
Really, this is, this is working for you?
Yeah. Sorry.
It's just, this is all I've ever wanted.
But I had to talk myself out of it months ago.
You know, thinking that it would never happen.
Well, it's happening in about seven months.
- [both] Five. - Five. [chuckles]
Maths, I...
[sniffles]
You'll get your baby, Teresa, and I'll go.
Once I deliver the... thing,
I'll sail off and leave you to it.
What, Sandy? No one is asking you to leave.
Oh, please.
[sighs] No one wants me here.
You could not wait for me to leave in Grade 12.
And Zoe and Saskia pushed me out to sea first chance they got.
Oh...
Even when I tried to join that group of Guatemalan coast guards,
they cut me loose, too.
I mean, didn't you say you ate one? [chuckles]
Okay, so they had grounds.
But the point is, I am a lone wolf now, and I belong at sea.
Sandy,
you... are an absolute psycho.
Thank you.
But we want you here.
Okay? And there is literally no one else I would want to raise this kid with
than my best friend.
[♪ Sarah Blasko: "We Won't Run"]
Oh, you guys!
[Sandy] Fuck off, Renee!
This is our moment.
[song continues]
[violin playing in distance]
[Amelia gasps]
Oh!
Oh, no, no, no...
[sighs] What...
[violin continues]
[sniffling]
[sighs heavily]
[whimpers]
[crying]
[soft music playing]
[crying continues]
Yeah, I know. I know.
It's not like I can whip out a violin at a barbecue
to try to get a singalong going.
[deep breath]
I get it. No hard feelings, guys.
No, I beg to differ.
The Corrs, Dave Matthews Band,
the orchestral drum of the "Thong Song," iconic.
[Amelia] I'll do it.
I volunteer to be sacrificed instead.
Wait, really?
Yeah. Look, I'm done.
I've lost hope.
You guys haven't, so...
If it helps you go on, then that's, that's what I'll do.
- Fucking fuck! - [sobbing]
- All right, guys, a little insensitive. - Are you sure, Amelia?
Yeah. I'm sure.
But none of this Picnic at Hanging Rock shit, all right?
- I don't want to see any... - [grunts]
[all exclaiming]
What, did you want to give her a chance to chicken out?
No.
We either do this now, or we're not going to do it at all.
The minute she said that shit to me last night,
she was pretty much dead to me anyway.
So, I'm going to take care of this, okay?
For all of us.
But then no more, "Zoe always fucks shit up."
Okay? No more, "Zoe doesn't matter," all right?
Somebody has to do the gory shit around here,
and it's gonna be me, okay?
Okay.
- Go and set the table. - [all agreeing]
[tense music playing]
[groans]
Oh!
- [groans] - Oh, fuck. [chuckling]
- Oh, thank God. - What the hell?
Thank God.
For a second there, I actually thought I had properly done you in.
That was really hard to judge
because I had to hit you hard enough to make it convincing,
but, like, not so hard that you died.
It looks like I fucking nailed it.
Why am I on a bike, on a boat, Zoe?
Because you have to go, Amelia, okay?
There is a place out there called Scuba City,
and they can get you anything you need.
So I need you to go out there and get yourself some meds,
and then come back home, please.
You are so fucking annoying.
- What? - I was ready to go.
I was at peace.
And then you go out and you do this fucking fake sacrifice
and psycho boat escape,
and, what, I'm just meant to come back from all of that?
Yes.
Oh, my God, Zoe, you know what you are?
You're like a, uh, uh... Like a diagnosis, okay?
When the doctor sits you down and says this really annoying
and sometimes life-threatening thing is now a part of your life,
so you're just gonna have to learn to deal with it.
Do you know how lucky we are, Amelia?
You know how many people are out there and they're just completely alone?
People who would kill to have someone who was a diagnosis
because this thing, this thing that you refuse to call friendship
because, God forbid, ew, yucky,
this is all either of us have left.
So, yeah, sorry, I'm always going to be here,
pissing you off and whacking you just the perfect amount
so that you don't get fucking eaten,
and telling you your fringe looks great even though it looks... fine,
because the difference between surviving
and actually living up here
is doing all the same shit, but having somebody else to do it with.
It's a fucking privilege, okay?
[♪ The Temper Trap: "Sweet Disposition"]
I knew I couldn't pull off a fringe.
- Oh, my God. - Why'd you let me do that?
Is that seriously what you're regretting right now?
Oh, fuck. Oh, God.
This is good. Regret means you're feeling something.
I want to keep feeling things.
Yeah. Good. Then just get up.
Go, go, go! Don't think. Just go.
Be safe.
And come back, please.
Well, I just think it's more tasteful to have someone do the eulogy as we eat,
so we can truly appreciate the sacrifice.
It's not a theater restaurant, Genevieve.
I'm not saying it's a theater restaurant.
- [man speaking indistinctly over radio] - It's an honoring of Amelia's life
- and the sacrifice she's made for us. - [Laura] Guys.
That sounds a lot like a theater restaurant to me.
- Guys. - It's not,
it's just about appreciating what she did,
her life, her hobbies, her...
- friends and family... - What are you gonna say?
Guys.
I'm gonna say, you know...
[loudly] Guys!
[man over radio] We have been listening to Zo-Zo FM.
We can see what looks like a school.
We've just passed... netball courts
and, uh, could be a cliff face.
That's the west side.
That's... That's boys.
[song continues]
[all murmuring]
Hey! Wait up. Hey!
Hi. I know we don't know each other, but I'm freaking out
because I think my forehead really smells,
so can you, can you just smell it for me?
Just, just smell it.
Sorry, that was really weird.
- [laughing] - I'm sorry. That was weird.
Zoe, stop!
Get on the boat!
They'll kill you if you go back without me.
Oh, it's about freaking time.
Been standing out here flapping like a dick in the wind,
waiting to see if you'd save me, too.
Well, to be fair, this boat is built for two people,
so I can only go around in a circle.
It's a fair point.
Well, hurry up, dickhead.
Sorry.
[song continues]
Come on, Sister!
[all cheering]
[men cheering]
[man] Good day, girls.
We've been looking for a place to call home.
And we're pretty hungry, so, uh...
fire up the stove, ladies.
[men cheering]
[man] What do you reckon? Will you have us?
Six lovely lads coming ashore!
[all screaming]
You know, your fringe doesn't actually look that bad.
Okay, we don't need to talk about it.
[Zoe] You know what they say,
it's only like a week between a shit haircut and a good haircut.
[Amelia] Yeah, well, at the rate you're riding at,
I'll be freaking Rapunzel before we get anywhere.
[Zoe] All right, then. I've got little legs.
[Amelia] Just keep riding, Zo-Zo.
Keep riding.
[pop dance song playing]