[Benny] Damn!
[♪ Higher Brothers: "Do It Like Me"]
- ♪ Do it like me... - Hello?
Whoa!
Cactus Cooler Jacuzzi in the living room? Damn.
I'm looking for... Herschel Diaz McFadden?
That's me. Over here.
Holy shit! Nine Inch Nips! Esports lej!
Yo, you go to my school.
I mean, I go to yours.
Mr. Nipples, I brought the snacks
and answer keys you asked for.
Hold up, is Principal Weston paying for all this?
Yeah. [scoffs] Guy's on our fucking nuts so hard,
it's pathetic. Anyway, you got the stuff?
Yes, sir. The Nike Diamond Supply "Tiffany" Dunks
in eight and a half, just like you asked.
[sniffs]
I said goddamn! That's good shoe.
Hey, armor pen got buffed last patch.
You should try picking up a Haunted Wraith Cleaver.
Damn, dude. [chuckles] Not bad for a shoe plug.
You play Isle of Icons?
Eh, I've been known to drop in every once in a while.
You should try out for the squad.
We're down a man for our season opener on Friday.
Y-Yo, for real?
Good looks, dawg.
I-I'll be there for sure.
Eomma, you know that open slot in my skedge
between Kumon and cello?
I think we just filled it.
♪ Oh... ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the... ♪ - ♪ Drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for... ♪ - ♪ The drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Waitin' for the ♪♪
- [school bell rings] - [indistinct chatter]
It's so obvious, guys.
I'm chubby, I'm Korean, and I got fast fingies.
- I was born to play esports. - I thought shoes were your thing.
Why do you keep putting people in boxes, Dale?
Thank you, D. Now it's time to diversify my clout portfolio.
I'm a hyphenate without a motherfucking hyphen.
But aren't those guys, like, the biggest studs in school?
You know it, dawg.
I'm trying to unlock that Twitch god status.
Never doing homework again, nah mean?
Wait a second.
Husky underdog.
A chance at glory. Trials and tribs.
Ooh, you're the perfect subject for a fire sports doc!
It's about time someone told my story.
I'm thinking hella B-roll, hella narration.
- Kick it, narrator. - [narrator] You got it, Tru.
He's five-foot-nothing, 125 pounds,
not that bright, and I heard his parents
had to pick him up from sleepaway camp
- after three days. - Hey, yo! That's not true.
[narrator] His quest for clout starts now.
What up, Fairfax fam?
Our first esports game between our beloved Hypebeasts...
[students cheer, whoop]
...versus the K-Town Pork Bellies--
- boo-- is Friday night. - [students boo]
Unfortunately, it's also the one-year anniversary
of Sally Duberstein's passing.
Let's bow our heads for a moment
of airplane mode.
- [sniffles] - [quiet sob]
Anyhoo, now that sad shit's out the way,
it's time to elect a new spirit chair.
- [cheering] - All right. Who wants to fill Sally's dead shoes
and get us ready for the big game?
Guys, maybe this is how I get my hyphen.
I am fourth-generation spirit chair.
- I mean, it's in my blood. - Then get in the game, player.
- Me! Me! Me! - Me! Me! Me!
- [students gasp] - [Dale chuckles]
I got Lily -175.
- You want action? - Oh, you're on, motherfucker.
Okay, okay. Lean up against the trophy case
and look super interesting.
[narrator] For Benny Hyung-Joon Choi,
the stakes couldn't be higher.
Will the underdog chomp into the bone of clout
or get put down like a pooch that's crapped on the carpet?
- How's that? Too much? - Perfect, my dawg.
Your boy's got a secret weapon
to take his game to the next level.
- My most prized possession. - [Truman] Is that a...?
[narrator] Latrine-Alienware mouse collab.
Voilà. Never been opened.
Got it from my cousin. He's a decorated vet
who did two tours in the Korean Call of Duty War.
[narrator] With an ace up his sleeve,
this homesick bitch boy might just stand a chance.
Psst! Hey, Dale. [chuckles]
Gosh, I think it's really great
that you want to help our school.
Uh, l-likewise.
I couldn't ask for a better candidate
to share the stage with.
No matter who wins,
our school gets a great spirit chair.
Right, right. Um, so, like, what kind of platform
are you thinking of running on? [chuckles] Just curious.
Well, my dad gave me some pretty fun ideas.
[chuckles] Fifties Day, Pajama Day...
Fifties Day? That's... cute.
Okay, well, best of luck to you, Dale.
Thanks. You, too.
Um, excusez-moi?
What are you doing talking to Lily?
You just gave her your whole platform.
What? No. That was just friendly banter.
We both just want what's best for the school.
- Oh, really? What were her ideas? - We didn't really get there,
so right now she only knows my ideas,
- and I don't know any of her ideas. - Stop.
You are not ready for Fairfax politics, Dale.
Harsh. You were the one who encouraged me to do this.
That was before I knew Lily was running.
She's a spirit shark.
She started Friday lunch collabs.
Fucking David Chang came in
and made sloppy joes for everyone.
[exhales] Lily. So creative.
Focus, Dale.
Look, if you're gonna run, you got to do it right.
The spirit of AOC runs through me.
Make me your campaign manager,
- and we'll win together. - It's a middle school election, Derica.
I don't think I need a campaign manager.
All right. It's your funeral.
[narrator] The athlete steps into the arena
ready to flex on some fools.
Jesus, Mary and Migos.
♪ ♪
Yo, Nips. What up, dawg?
I'm not your dawg, dawg!
I'm your squad leader. And you're late!
You think you can show up whenever you want
because you have an Air Max connect?
No, sir. I mean, no, Nips.
That's more like it.
Look around.
Most of you will be gone by the end of the day
because most of you are noobs!
We're not playing Sonic the fucking Hedgehog
on your grandfather's Sega Genesis!
- [crying] - Now grab a PC,
and let's get into it.
[narrator] Oh, snap.
A flicker of doubt crosses 1-Yung's face.
Suffice it to say, shit just got real.
Epic, indeed. [chuckles]
[patriotic music playing]
- Fetch, Sparky! - [Sparky barks]
Oh, hey, Fairfax fam.
I didn't even see you there.
My opponent, Dale, says he wants to bring you spirit
with a '50s Day.
Really, Dale? You want to take us back in time?
What, when a woman's place was in the kitchen?
If it were up to Dale, I wouldn't even be allowed
to run in this race.
- [students gasp] - No. I just meant poodle skirts
and Grease sing-alongs.
I don't know how they do it in Oregon,
but here at Fairfax,
we look forwards, not backwards.
That's why I'm offering Flex Your Fit Fridays,
Dress Like a Robot Tuesdays
and other progressive spirit-based activities.
[kisses] I'm not one of those fancy fanny pack types
who walk around
- like they're better than you. - [students boo]
You deserve a more spirited world.
Vote Lily. [chuckles]
This video was paid for by the campaign to elect Lily Foster.
- Still think you can handle yourself? - Not at all.
I didn't know frickin' Air Bud was on her team.
Derica, you got to be my campaign manager.
Okay. Let me just check my G-Cal.
I'm free. Now let's win this thing!
- Top missing. Top missing. Come on, all in. - We're tight. Tight.
- Aw, damn it. - You kidding me, Diarrhea G?!
Ever heard of an Arclight Spanner?!
Sorry, sir. I pushed the wrong key.
[grunts] Solved that problem!
Now get out of here before I shove this "D" up your "A"!
All right, noobs, take a knee.
I've seen you on the keys.
Now it's time to see some IRL drills.
First up, fingies.
Get up, hand!
Pump it, knuckles. Let's go!
Jazz those hands.
- Jazzier! - [screams]
My interdigital folds!
[retches]
[mockingly] Aw, look it.
Take your mangled mitts out of here.
You're done!
- [school bell rings] - Lily's the establishment.
She's got all the major cliques in her pocket already,
so we need a coalition of smaller crews.
- The Invisibles. - [Dale] Who?
Non-influencers. Basic bitches
like the kids that eat lunch by the water fountain
or the white kids with dreads under the bleachers.
I've taken the liberty of arranging a meet and greet
with the Peruvian Goth kids.
[metal music playing]
[Dale grunts]
- [record scratches] - Hey, what up, white boy?
You want to read Tuesdays with Morrie with us?
[chuckles] Uh, one second.
Hey, D, I can't get a read on these kids for the life of me.
Are they Peruvian? Are they Goth?
Maybe we start with another crew?
There you go again trying to put labels on people.
We need all of them, Dale.
If you can't get the Peruvian Goths,
how are you gonna get the straight butch girls?
How bad do you-oo w-w-want this?
Oh, so bad I can taste it.
Then go in there and get down with the sickness.
What's up, amigos?
Who's ready to talk mortality and friendship, huh?
Yes!
Great kill, 1-Yung.
- Thanks, chief. - [grunting]
The fuck. Watch his screen to see how it's done, Bosch Baby.
You look lost out there.
[grunts, groans]
You know, I'm happy to help if you...
You little kiss-ass. When I'm done with you,
you're gonna be on your knees massaging my fingers
like a bitch on prom night.
You know something? At first, I wanted on this team
for the clout and the Cactus Cooler J-Cooz,
but now? [chuckles]
Now it's personal.
Not only am I making this team,
I'm kicking your pimply little ass, Bosch Baby.
[narrator] As the heat turns up, so do the rivalries.
- And the body odor. - [sniffs]
♪ ♪
Welcome to the Fairfactor,
the only news show made for kids
who don't have time to read the whole article.
- How's it going, 'Manda? - So-so, Jules.
I got ear gauges last night. But it was worth it
'cause my new stepdad was pissed.
Didn't ask for your life story, bitch, but [chuckles] great.
Now let's take a look at this amazing spirit race.
Dale is slowly making headway,
but it looks like Lily is trying to lock down
the fellow theater kids with some fire pandering.
Let's go there live.
You know, my spirit journey,
it started right here on this very stage
in Victor Hugo and Principal Weston's
gender-swapping rendition of Les Mis.
- She's so dramatic. - She gets it. She just gets it. - She has my vote.
I want to bring your signature drama and showmanship
to this year's Halloween Haunted Hype House!
Let's get some good lighting in there, costume changes,
and how about a collab with the makeup club?
Let's scare 'em with spirit!
[cheering]
[grunts]
- [laughs] - [boy] Nice.
[Truman gasps]
That sneaky-ass motherfuck...
No, no, no, no, no!
Has anyone seen my mouse?
I need it for the match. Oh, God.
Truman, have you seen it?
Uh, so, it's funny that you ask, actually,
- because I-I, um... - [narrator] Careful, Truman.
Interfering in the storyline is against the documentarian code.
Bruh, I know the code, but Benny is my boy.
I got to tell him.
[narrator] Werner Herzog would never tell.
He watched a bear straight up eat a dude
and didn't do shit.
Don't you want to be Werner Herzog?
More than anything.
[narrator] Then let the bear eat Benny.
For the good of the film?
[narrator] For the good of all films.
Sorry, dude, I haven't seen it.
Get back in the lobby, 1-Yung.
Scrimmage starts in ten seconds.
But my mouse is gone, sir!
No excuses. Use this one.
Ugh.
♪ ♪
Ooh!
This race is tighter than Weston's pockets
after he hired Scott Disick
to DJ his birthday party. [chuckles]
And it looks like the Hypebeasts are almost ready to post
their starting lineup vs. the Pork Bellies.
Hey, is my ear bleeding?
Focus, bitch!
Dale's about to lock down the science lab.
So, when you add a dash of Dale
to an already great group of kids,
you get an eruption of spirit.
Cringey as hell, but it seems to be doing the trick.
Nga yawne lu oer. May Eywa's spirit
flow through all of us!
Ooh, and Lily is busting out the Na'vi,
locking up the Avatar makeup tutorial kids.
Now that's what I call spirit, volume one.
I came down here where the farts collect
to offer you a whole 15% off at my dad's store.
Ooh! Dale's trading votes for peach vape cartridges
just like our founding fathers did.
Oh, yeah. I mean, I do love Amalfi,
but this year, I'm thinking of Lake Como.
Maybe sailing in Portofino?
And Lily takes the kids who went to Italy
with their rich parents for summer break.
With only one day to go,
it looks like this is all coming down
to the kids who hang by the water fountain.
[overlapping chatter]
[grunts] No, no, no, no, no!
Damn it.
What happened to you, 1-Yung?
I thought you wanted the clout.
You want to be selling shoes or buying shoes?
It's not my fault, Nips.
It's this trash-ass mouse!
I'd take Ratatouille over this piece of shit.
Only a tool blames his tools.
[narrator] Will the chubby contender
bounce back from his blunder?
Only time will tell.
[salsa music playing]
And a one and ass and shake and down.
Yas!
Show me teeth when you smile, Dale.
Don't make me rub Vaseline on your gums.
I've seen too many people lose spirit chair
because they didn't care about the dance portion.
Yo, Quattro, Quattro. Film me quick.
I'm-a throw up some moves on my TikTok.
- Oh, yeah, mamacita. Dale, mamacita. - [Quattro] Ooh!
This is straight fire, pidge.
[grunting rhythmically]
Bad news.
Even if we sweep the water fountain,
we still don't have the votes.
We need an influencer-donor.
Yeah, but you said everyone's already in Lily's pocket.
[sighs] Not everyone.
[school bell rings]
Move, move, move, move, move!
Equipment manager?!
[narrator] Tough break for 1-Yung.
His mother will be disappointed
but not surprised.
Oh, Benny. FYI, I like my locker stocked with purp Gatorade,
and, uh, I'm feeling a little tensh in my ring fing.
Might need you to work it out later.
[laughs]
♪ I got the juice, we got the juice...
Whoa, whoa.
- Influencers only. - Hey, Melody!
- It's me! - She's chill. Let 'em through.
[Derica] Hmm.
No way, you drive?
No. Lamborghini just wants me to take selfies on it.
- What's up? - Lady Melody,
I came to humbly ask for your spirit chair endorsement.
I think it would really...
Stop. First of all, I don't do politics.
It's divisive, and that's bad for my brand.
There are good followers on both sides.
Second, look at you.
Melody, please. Look, we could really...
No, you know what? That's totally fair.
Enjoy your time at the top while it lasts.
- Excuse me? - Oh, nothing.
It's just... I mean, Lily's already gained,
like, a ton of followers since yesterday.
And she's got an influencer boyfriend.
The Avatar makeup kids love her,
so a skin care line isn't too far behind.
Soon that'll be her Lambo.
That is never going to happen. You're ruining
the chi of the parking lot. Take 'em away.
It was some good chi, too.
- [phone chimes] - Shit! Lily took the water fountain kids.
All we can do now is pray.
And cheer!
But mostly pray.
♪ ♪
Uh, welcome back, basics!
We're here at the spirit chair election of the century,
and you can feel the electricity in the air.
This race might be as over as Balenciaga dad shoes,
but hey, anything can happen on election day.
We now go live with the sad bastard himself,
Principal Weston!
All right, y'all, Carl the janitor
needs to turn this place into an esports arena
in 30 minutes, so here's how we gonna do that shit.
The first part of our three-parter
is a Fairfax trivia challenge.
- [whoops] Lily, first question. - [students cheer]
What does the Latin phrase "Dopeness supra scientiam"
on the Fairfax crest mean?
Dopeness above knowledge.
- [bell dings] - Correct! - [cheering]
Despite it being mandatory, school is lame as hell.
Cameron Diaz dropped out of high school,
and she still looks good.
It's your turn, Dale. Question.
What is Mrs. McDuffy's maiden name?
- Who the heck is that? - She was a substitute teacher
at Fairfax for a few weeks in 1993.
- How is that a fair question? - [buzzer sounds]
Life's not fair, Dale. First round goes to Lily!
[cheering]
This is our time! Right here, right now,
- we become esports gods! - [cheering]
[Bosch Baby] Don't forget to work the tippies.
Yes, Bosch Baby.
[narrator] Watching the once promising 1-YungHyung
reduced to jerking off thumbs, Truman must feel
like a really shitty friend right now.
Please don't film this. This is the opposite of clout.
I'm sorry, dude. I have to.
[narrator] Like, really, really shitty.
[sighs]
[cheering]
♪ ♪
♪ We stand united ♪♪
Wow! After a performance that great,
I don't want to see anyone else.
Anyway, here's Dale.
[scattered applause]
[salsa music playing]
[student coughs]
Check out Dale! Those hips don't lie.
It's too bad Lily already has this thing sewn up.
I can't hear anything you're saying!
My lobes are infected!
- I think I may need a nurse! - OMG!
Shut up, 'Manda!
Fairfax royalty is gracing us with her presence.
- All hail Queen Melody! - [students cheering]
Hi, you guys.
So, FYI, I'm voting for Dale
'cause he has so much spirit and shine,
just like my new lip kits with Girlbossier.
- Link in bio. Swipe up. Love you. - [students cheering]
Shout-out to all my Harpsicords.
- [gasps] - [girl] Hell, yeah! Go, Dale!
- [boy] Lily sucks now! - [boy 2] Go, Dale!
What a time to be alive.
Melody's endorsement sealed the deal.
They're turning on Lily.
The speech is a formality.
Finish her!
Okay, it's time for speeches.
Dale, you'll speak first.
The prompt is what does spirit mean to you?
You know, I did a lot of talking this week,
but I also did a lot of listening.
I spoke to Mike Salazar of the Peruvian Goths.
I spoke to Tenneth Lonnergan of the Club Sandwich Club
and to those two white kids with dreadlocks
playing grab-ass up under the bleachers.
The one thing they all agreed on?
Fairfax could use more spirit. And I, uh...
What I'm trying to say is
real spirit means everyone has it.
This school is only as strong as its least spirited kid,
and I can't help but feel
like I broke someone's spirit today.
That's not what you want from a spirit chair.
You guys deserve someone that unifies
the entire school, every single one of you.
So with that in mind,
I'm officially withdrawing my candidacy
from this race.
[all gasp]
Congrats, Lily.
You're gonna make an excellent spirit chair.
- [students cheering] - Stop. He didn't. Dying.
Fully dead. Bury my heart at Wounded Knee.
I'm literally deceased.
I got into politics for this?
Lose my number, Derica.
But I never had it!
[cheering grows louder]
- You sure about this, Dale? - Totally.
You'll make an amazing spirit chair.
Theater kids doing the Haunted Hype House?
Hawaiian Punch in the water fountain?
I can't wait for that stuff.
Well, I think you would have made
an amazing spirit chair, too.
And hey... [chuckles]
I, uh, hope you don't hate me
for running a fierce campaign.
Please. It's just politics.
Besides, I found another way to share my spirit
with the entire school.
- [cheering] - [Dale] Here we go, Hypebeasts, here we go!
Give me some! Give me some! Give me some!
Oh! Here we go, here we go,
here we go, here we go, here we go!
Okay. After a quick power nap
and some antibiotics for 'Manda's lobes, we're back!
It's go time, people!
It's the Hypebeasts
versus the Pork Bellies!
It's all tied up
at halftime as we head into the final round
of our Isle of Icons matchup.
Don't know shit about esports, Jules,
but I am happy to be alive.
And here we go!
- [man] Round one. Capture the objective. -[cheering]
[Jules] Ooh! And just like that,
Hypebeasts backdoor the enemy spire,
whatever that is.
The Pork Bellies are gonna have a tough time
without vision there, 'Manda.
Oh, oh! Triple kill!
Bosch Baby is playing like a boy possessed.
It's got to be the mouse.
That motherfucker!
[Jules] Whoa! The Pork Bellies
just rushed the Hypebeasts' back line,
- and I almost gave a fuck! - [Bosh Baby grunts]
[screams] Fingie down!
- Someone sabotaged my mouse! - [students gasp]
Oh! That looks worse than your lobes, 'Manda.
You know the rule about injured players, Bosch Baby.
You're done. Hit the hand showers.
1-Yung, jump on his PC!
- You're in. - Fuck, yeah!
Twitch money time. Let's do this.
Yo, you deaf?
GTFO, bitch baby.
[Bosch Baby wails]
[cheering]
Hey, bruh. I got a little something
for you, you know? For good luck.
My trackball? Hold up, did you...
A director never tells. But yes, I did.
And you're welcome. Now go whup some ass.
[narrator] Despite breaking the first rule of doc life,
Truman proves himself a better homie than filmmaker.
Okay, Hypebeasts, this is it.
Pour all gold into armor pen and A.D. items.
Left flank, keep an eye out for those minions,
and, Nips, try and keep up.
[cheering]
[Jules] Hypebeasts battle to take the base.
It's all down to 1-Yung.
Can he do it?
- [man] Base destroyed. - [Jules] And yes! He does it!
- 1-Yung destroys the enemy base! - [cheering]
This game is over. Fairfax wins.
Rest in pepperonis, Pork Bellies!
Hello! [laughs]
Did we just become sports fans?!
[cheering]
- [Derica] Hell, yeah! You did it, dude! - [Dale] Yeah, Benny!
[narrator] Two weeks later, Benny was kicked off the team
for sharting in the Cactus Cooler Jacuzzi.
The video is online.
Check that shit out now.
Hey, you better not post that, Truman.
[lone person applauding]
[Weston sniffles]
Beautiful, Truman. Simply amazing.
So? About that grant?
Untitled Shit Project is a go
as long as I get that hot Gram follow.
How many times we been through this, P Dubs?
- How about a special thanks in the credits? - Deal.
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪♪
Chirp.