[indistinct chatter]
[cheering]
♪ ♪
- [exhales] Isn't this great? - [phones chiming]
I'm so glad you guys let me talk you into a beach day.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
[laughter]
Yo, fuck the beach!
I don't know what's worse, these Off-Brian dipshits
or the sand tanking the resale value of my Air Max.
- [Dale] Ah, first rule of beach club, Benny. - Ugh.
Ditch the shoes and let the dogs out.
[barks, laughs]
No offense, Dale, but anyone who's able to
enjoy the beach after what we've done to it
- is honestly trash. - Ow, ow! Put me down, bitch.
Just give it a chance. Check it out.
I'm thinking first we fly kites,
and then boogie boarding,
quick break for an ice cream sando--
maybe two if we're feeling naughty--
wait an hour for our tums to settle,
then build sandcastles and discuss how to be
responsible sandcastle owners.
That sounds dope as hell.
That's the spirit, Tru!
Ha, ha, ha! Oh, my God!
Cerise, babe, that's so funny.
- I'm for real, you gotta try TikTok. - Ugh.
Okay, okay, now, I know what you're all wondering,
and the answer is yes.
I did stay up all night making these.
[phones vibrating, chiming]
Whoa, baby, I gotta call you back.
- Holy shit. - [Benny] What the fuck?!
Breaking news, Fair-binches!
After being out-sold and out-hyped by Off-Brian,
Hiroki Hassan has finally lifted
his veil of secrecy.
The legendary fashion designer has checked into Clout Nine,
a celebrity getaway for those experiencing
clout fatigue and cringiness.
[male reporter] If you ask me,
it looks like a permanent vacation for the mogul.
So chic, so bold. So exhausted.
- No! - This is a mistake!
Someone's clearly Britney-Spearsing Hiroki.
Damn, bro. No cap?
Think about it. Brian's fuckin' savage.
He probably chloroformed him
and kidnapped his ass in the middle of the night.
Or maybe he's just taking a radical sabbatical.
Hiroki working on Hiroki could be a good thing.
Look, Brian's one fire drop away from taking over Fairfax.
If we don't bust Hiroki out now,
he could lose the block forever.
Aw, geez, I-I don't know, guys.
We told my Dad we'd stay close to this lifeguard tower.
Yo, Grant can suck it, Dale.
Hiroki's probably in a straightjacket,
drugged up on God knows what,
lying in a puddle of his own piss right now.
Cerise says Clout Nine is right up the coast.
Ten minutes by foot.
Two if we kayak.
[sighs] We're going to Clout Nine, aren't we?
♪ Oh... ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the... ♪ - ♪ Drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for... ♪ - ♪ The drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Waitin' for the ♪♪
- [gasps] - [grunts]
[Truman] Yo, it's like a Four Seasons
fucked a psych ward.
- [bleats] - [grunts]
[chuckles] Sick. Yo, they have an infinity pool
that actually stretches out into infinity.
Isn't that just the ocean?
Hi, we're the Seans of Sunset.
And something we've learned
is that we all do things a little differently.
Here at Clout Nine, they focus on healing
your deepest clout wounds and digital traumas.
[Shawn] That's right, Sean.
Whether you're experiencing clout gout,
cloutnesia, Munchausen by clout proxy,
panic at the disco or multiple camera disorder,
- we're here for you. - [Shaun laughs]
Now come on in
and say "no mo" to FOMO.
Look, this place is massive,
so we got to split up to cover more ground.
Ready?
- Break! [panting] - [Dale panting]
Hey, D,
do you think that Hiroki
could be at that swim-up smoothie bar?
'Cause I think that maybe we should check that out.
Totally. And if we discover
after having thoroughly investigated
that delicious situation that he's not there,
we should check the Eucalyptus Steam Jungle.
Mr. Hiroki?
Mr. Hiroki Hassan?
Just because it's important to you
doesn't mean it needs to be a podcast.
- Repeat your mantra. - [crying]
No one cares, and that's okay.
No one cares, and that's okay...
- [Dale gasps] - [Cody sniffs]
Wait a second, wait a second. Dale?
[screams]
Hey, Cody. Wow. I...
- How'd you know it was me? - Oh, I smelled
your Johnson & Johnson No More Tears baby shampoo
from down the hall. [inhales deeply]
Look at that, no tears.
Ugh, I cannot believe you came to surprise me
like this. Dude, seriously?
Above and beyond.
Right, of course.
What, uh... What are you doing here?
To be honest, that Lily breakup really did a number on me.
I realized I needed to face my prank addiction head-on,
one post at a time.
Well, it works if you work it, right?
- I'm glad you're finding peace. - Hey, you want to hear
something super unchill, li'l fawn?
Is it cool if I call you that?
You remind me of, like, a li'l baby fawn.
Sure, I guess.
Cubby and Shu haven't visited me
or donated to the ACLU once since I left.
They also slid into Lily's DMs
the same day I checked in.
So much for The Triangle.
[Dale] [inhales sharply] Ay-ay-ay.
That does seem pretty tough.
Anyhoo, glad to see you're doing well,
- and best luck with the speedy recovery. - No,
come on. You leaving so soon?
[Dale] [gasps] Whale watching?
Sandcastles?
Rock climbing.
Bingo.
Actually, you know what? Eff that.
No child left behind.
You know what always helps me when I need to clear my mind?
Uh, you have my attention.
The beach.
Specifically, those activities
listed on the board right over there.
Oh, goddamn, li'l fawn. I'm in.
Whoa!
[grunting]
Goddamn lingering baby fat.
[grunts]
Oh, shit, Yung Polluter?
On the ground.
No. In the trash can.
- [Benny gasps] - Hiroki's midday dose, coming up.
[gasps] I knew he was being Britney-ed.
- [panting] - [elevator bell dings]
[groans]
Oh, fuck me.
[panting, grunting]
[wind whistling]
Oh!
[grunting]
Ooh. Mmm.
[gasps]
[grunts]
You won't get away with this!
What's going on?!
Oh, I-I-I... I'm-I'm so sorry.
I-I thought you were Hiroki Hassan.
Bitch, I am Hiroki Hassan!
[gasps]
Now announce the drop.
[grunts]
[cackles] Yes, my darling.
[Hiroki laughs]
[cheering]
[breathes deeply]
All right, where my humpbacks at?
[chuckles]
- [Cody] I miss her so much, man. - [splashing]
It's like there's a Lily-sized hole in my heart
that I need to fill up.
- Hey, could you do me a solid? - [sighs]
What's up, Cody?
Could we do the Titanic for a few minutes?
It's something Lily and I used to do,
and you have the same exact body type.
Consider it, like, your charitable component.
You know, I just don't think that's such a good idea.
Nah. Nah, nah, that's cool. We don't have to.
I'll just list all the things I miss about her
in alphabetical order.
Abs. Brie cheese,
because she's lactose intolerant.
Cats. Dad,
because I sent her dad into anaphylactic shock.
Okay, okay, we can Titanic. But for the love of God,
you got to stop talking about Lily.
- And I get to be Jack. - No.
- No, you're not, li'l fawn. - [sighs]
I'm the king of the world!
[whispers] And you're my queen, li'l fawn.
Look, I'm sure whoever's keeping you here
is spying on our convo, so I'm gonna make it quick.
My friends and I are gonna bust you out.
Blink once if you understand.
Boy, I checked myself into Clout Nine.
Blink once if you understand.
Oh, I get it.
This is a publicity stunt.
Like Kanye finding God.
I can assure you, little Dorito Boy,
this is no publicity stunt.
I'm quitting fashion.
No!
If you're in here dropping syrup instead of box tees,
Latrine loses its hype,
and I lose what little fucking clout I have.
Off-Brian is dissing the House of Latrine!
You got to clap back at this bitch.
Clapping back is my second favorite thing to do
after initiating the diss that precedes the clapback.
Unfortunately, that's no longer possible
because I've lost my mojo.
So, you're a little down. BFD.
You haven't missed a drop since '94.
Fucking 9/11 happened,
and you dropped a bucket hat that Thursday.
That bucket hat healed the nation.
Look, I can't go back to Fairfax.
What? Wh-Why not?
Ugh, you really want to know?
Fine. I'll show you.
[screams]
What is this?!
Where are we?!
- [both laugh] - [♪ Cook Classics and Mike Taylor: "I Feel Good"]
♪ I woke up today, I feel good ♪
- ♪ I feel, I feel good ♪ - [bleats]
♪ See me smiling, hey, 'cause I feel good ♪
♪ I feel, I feel good, good, good ♪
♪ Good ♪
- Hey! - [laughs]
♪ When I'm with these hos ♪
♪ I feel good, I feel, I feel...
- Uh-huh. - Hey.
♪ Good ♪♪
[Tommy G] Click, click.
Click, click.
But it only lives in my mind.
That's just sad, bruh. Some people got issues.
What took you so long?
Your gazpacho heated back up into a regular-ass soup.
Sorry, D. Uh, Cerise caught a nasty virus,
so I popped into the business center
just to make sure that she's getting enough charge.
- You know. - Oh, speaking of Cerise,
uh, how's your, uh... your thing going?
- [koala chitters] - Bruh, it's so good. Like,
she's so smart and cool and curious.
Like, I went downstairs to get a bowl of cereal this morning,
and when I came back, she had four master's degrees.
Tight. Okay.
Yeah. I'm just asking
'cause, you know, she catfished you
and tried to sell you a bunch of fruit snacks
and then broke your heart into a million little pieces.
So sweet that you care.
But things are different this time, you know?
She completely cut ties with Big Juice,
so we're past all that.
Everybody's got baggage.
Hers is just a little juicier.
For real, things are good.
Things are so good that...
I lost my SIM card to Cerise.
Jah feel?
- Huh? - [koala chitters]
My hardware. Her software. [laughs]
Let's just say I had to put her in a bowl of rice
when we was finished.
- [laughs] - Oh, shit.
[grunting]
Honestly, Lily loved my pranks.
I'd be like, "I love you."
[laughs] "JK! Emotional prank."
Which is why it's so confusing that she broke up with me.
[sighs] Maybe you're remembering it wrong.
I don't know anyone
who would enjoy an emotional prank like that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whose side are you on?
Oh, yours, of course. I'm just...
I'm trying to keep it real with the big fawn, you know?
And that's why I like you, li'l fawn.
And, hey, since we're best friends now,
can I be honest with you?
'Cause I've got a secret that's been weighing me down for days.
I don't have a pranking problem!
- Booyah! - Are you serious?
Serious as that ketchup stain on your shirt.
- Gah. Really? Where? - Bloop!
- Gah. - You see?
I told you I don't have a problemo.
It's just some bullshit I told Lily.
The truth is I'm only here to show her
that I'm working on myself-- yeah, okay--
so that she'll get back together with me.
I guess you could say this whole stint at Clout Nine
- was a classic Cody prankeroonie. - [screams]
- [Dale grunts] - Uh-oh, hold on. Light bulb!
In my head. Doy, Dale,
since you know so much about Lily,
you can help me get her back.
- No. - Yes!
Thank you, brother.
- Oh, man, I feel so much better now. - [grunts]
That's strange, because I feel so much worse.
[Benny screams]
Where are we?
My memory château
where all my memories live.
- ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪ - [cheering]
♪ The night ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ The rhythm of the night ♪
♪ This is the rhythm of my life ♪
♪ My life...
Damn, that's a good-looking jacket, playboi.
- Birds Wearhouse up on 57th? - You know it.
Give me some wing, give me some wing.
Yeah. Hey,
I found a loaf of focaccia in the bathroom.
You want to do a bump of breadcrumbs? Huh?
♪ ♪
[Benny] Is this a memory?
[Hiroki] It's the pre-memory dance party.
An amalgamation of all the best parties
- I've ever been to. - Oh.
I'm going to show you the history of Latrine,
and then you'll understand why I have to move on.
Yoink! [chuckles] Yum.
You shouldn't have done that.
[screaming]
[grunts]
[vomits]
Ugh, you got to give me some warning next time.
No way! You worked at a Lady Foot Locker?
It was the '90s! Now shush.
And watch.
Hiroki, I hired you to sell Reeboks,
- not turn them into dresses. - But, sir...
Bup, bup, bup, no "buts." Take them down.
And what have I told you about wearing a cape to work,
- huh? - [thud]
Oh, boomshakalaka.
Ugh. Brian?
It's both highbrow and lowbrow, and...
oh, my God, you combined the brows into a unibrow.
My name is Brian, and it would be an honor
to be your henchman, Hiroki Hassan.
I'm sorry, I don't think designers have henchmen.
They do now, my liege.
This was the beginning of my creative partnership
with Brian.
He saw something in me before anyone else did.
June '93.
The first week at the lair.
That's when we decided on the name.
We shall call it Latrine.
[chuckles] Latrine!
Yes, it must be Latrine.
Brian came up with Latrine?
- Wise as ever, my liege. - [screams]
[screams]
Six months later,
we settled on our first brick-and-mortar.
- Holy shit. Phyllis was hot?! - [Brian] The property's
- been abandoned for years. - [gasps]
It's next to a Jewish deli and a smoke shop.
Yes, Fairfax.
This is where our empire will lay rest.
[Benny screams]
- [screams] - Bastille Day, '94.
Latrine's first drop.
The original box logo tee?
Don't tell me that was Brian, too. [gasps]
No. Say it ain't so.
Perfect, Brian. Now release it!
I checked into Clout Nine the next day.
Now you know the truth.
Without Brian, Latrine is nothing.
Without Brian, I am nothing.
[crying]
But without you, I'm nothing.
Not my problem, kid. Now leave me alone
so I can go eat a four-pound bag of Haribo gummies.
[Truman] I don't know. I'm just thinking, like,
one or two kids?
I guess it depends on where we end up, right?
- Ugh. - [Truman] Maybe upstate New York?
Then again, Cerise prefers the schools in Connecticut.
Tru, I'm sorry, but upstate New York?
Connecticut? I mean, what are you saying?
You've never even been to Connecticut.
And kids? Come on. How is that even possible?
We narrowed it down to either surrogacy or adoption.
You know she's not real, right? She's a computer.
First of all, she's not a computer.
She's a billion dollars' worth of experimental marketing tech.
And second of all, she's my girlfriend.
- [penguins squawk] - Seriously, D.
Out of all people. You're Miss Love Is Love.
Aah! That is not what it means!
Well, what about you and Melody, huh?
Playing You've Got Mail over the phone.
Have you even had a conversation in real life?
There hasn't been a right time.
- And, plus, that's different. - How?
Because Melody is a human person!
[sighs] Why can't you just be happy for me?
Shit.
You're right.
I'm sorry, Tru. I was just trying to protect you,
but if you're happy, I'm happy.
[exhales] Finally, Kitey.
It's just you, me and the sweet Santa Ana winds.
- [grunts] - [gasps] No!
Listen, Dale, we've got a huge problem.
Hiroki is off the deep end and, as much as I hate this,
I think the only way to fix Hiroki
is to get him back together with Brian.
So, I'm gonna need your internship contacts,
- your fanny and your leftover chloroform. - Did you ever think
that maybe you shouldn't be trying to get two people
back together who don't want to get back together?
Not everyone is supposed to be together forever, Benny.
Especially if there might be, like,
another person who is way more compatible
and who, I don't know, geez, maybe knows how to treat a lady
and thinks pranks aren't all that great in the first place!
- [exhales] - Damn, Dale.
[chuckles] That's a lot of pent-up rage.
- You a'ight? - No, Benny!
I'm not a'ight. In fact, I-I'm the opposite of a'ight.
Today was supposed to be my beach day,
but instead we're here, hanging out
with a bunch of clout-thirsty turd burgers.
And I don't know, maybe I'm just reading into it too much,
but it feels like whenever I want to do something,
the gang gang does the exact opposite.
[gasps]
Holy shit, Dale. You're a goddamn genius.
I'm really sorry you feel that way,
and we're totally gonna unpack this
over Trini's slipper cobbler later,
but-but I got to go.
[door opens]
Oh, there you are, my boy.
So, Operation Trick Lily Via Dale?
It's a go, baby.
I'm thinking long game.
You befriend her and build trust.
You go to the movies, dinners, maybe even dates.
You become a part of her life.
She tells you all of her secrets.
Then, two to five years later,
we throw her a birthday party
where you pull the rug out from under her.
She hates you. But there I am, cloaked in soft fabrics.
You touch them, it makes you shiver.
I am absolutely yoked from head to toes. And boom!
We elope to Fiji. What do you think?
Cody, I need you to listen to me very carefully.
Lily hates pranks.
And you don't understand her at all, but I do.
Because I actually listen to her instead of giving her pink eye
because you farted on her pillow one time.
And guess what, Cody?
I'm gonna ask her out.
[laughs]
Solid prank. I admire your commitment.
You've come a long way, little fawn.
Oh, it appears the student a-has become a-the sensei.
I'm serious, Cody.
You have a major prank addiction,
and you need serious medical help.
And the saddest part is, at the end of the day,
the only person you're pranking is yourself.
[door closes]
[panting]
What do you think you're...
[dance music playing]
All right, take me to the memories of Latrine.
- The ones we saw earlier. - One second.
It's Octavia Spencer. Octavia!
Take me!
Why do you want me to relive those horrors?
Because I got a feeling that all the partying you did
in this sick-as-fuck brain hotel is clouding your memory.
This better be good. I'm late for a cotton candy sugar scrub.
Just go back ten seconds and watch.
What do you think? Latrine or Garbache?
Personally, I love Garbache.
Brian! That's a terrible choice.
Apologies, my liege. We shall call it Latrine.
Latrine!
Yes, it must be Latrine.
[Benny] Mm-hmm.
Next one.
The most primo location there is, sire.
Melrose Avenue. Between a Doc Martens
- and a Johnny Rockets. - Honestly, Brian,
do you think your parents are proud of you?
Absolutely not, my liege.
Huh? Oh!
There's also a spot on Fairfax,
but the property's been abandoned for years.
Yes, Fairfax.
This is where our empire will lay rest.
Keep going. Whoa!
How about this hilarious potato shirt?
[laughs] It says "spud buds."
Do you have any idea what I could save in overhead
if I fired you?
Okay. Uh... What about this one?
Perfect, Brian.
Now, release it!
I fucking knew it.
Brian isn't your muse. He's your Dale.
- Come again? - [Benny] Your South Star.
Whatever Brian suggested, you did the opposite.
Latrine became Latrine despite Brian's shit-ass ideas.
You had the mojo all along.
It was always you.
Heavens to Betsy. You're right!
But I'll give him credit for one thing.
Do you, like, want to, you know, maybe announce it?
Make it special,
like you're dropping a mixtape or a vaccine.
Well, we did buy this lair for a reason.
Hmm.
Announce the drop!
[laughs] Yes.
Tronté! Get the Subcopter ready.
We have a drop to drop.
♪ ♪
[horn honks]
Damn!
- [yawns] Was that...? - Yep.
- Yo! - He's back, motherfuckers!
[phones chiming]
[alarm blares]
Hey. I'm Cody, and I-I have a pranking problem.
[phones chiming]
[alarm blares]
- [alarm blares] - [screams]
[phone chimes]
[sniffles]
Mmm. Mmm. Yummy, yummy, yummy.
[doorbell rings]
Ugh.
What do you want?
[grunts, growls]
What the...?
- [alarm blares] - That motherfucker!
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The block is hot ♪♪
Chirp.