[school bell rings]
Bro, the Internet is going apeshit
for this Latrine henchman tee.
- Fuck Brian forever. - Sick. - Oh...
Hey, guys, guys, Spirit Chair's taking the podium.
- Let's show her some respect, huh? - [applause]
[whoops]
Good morning, Fairfax!
- [sighs] - [Lily] What the heck is up, Hypebeasts?
Is everybody totally stoked for Friday night's dance?
- [cheering] - Yeah, you are! [whoops]
A-go, Fairfax, go, Fairfax.
[whoops, laughs]
You spoke and we listened.
The theme of this year's dance is...
Peace in the Middle East!
[jeering]
Nah, nah, no, it isn't.
Wait, but-but you said we could.
I said sit your woke ass down.
Ain't nobody getting busy to J Balvin
over some Aleppo sliders.
The real theme of Friday's dance is Westy-World, y'all.
- [airhorn sounding] - [cheering]
[shouts]
That's right. I'm-a turn the gym into a trap house carnival.
Quattro, call every bird we know.
'Cause this about to be the biggest party of the year.
♪ Oh... ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the... ♪ - ♪ Drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for... ♪ - ♪ The drop ♪
- ♪ Waitin' for the ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Waitin' for the ♪♪
Hey, yo, with Cody gone, clout king is anyone's game.
This is my year, fam. We're talking sponsorships,
ad revenue, Illuminati Christmas party.
Stick with me and we'll be verified in no time.
[sighs] The only thing I'm verifying is my love for Lily.
- Hmm. - [stammers] Okay.
Step one, tell her how I feel at the dance.
Step two, go camping at Zion.
And step three, finally birth a baby deer together.
Man, how the fuck does Dale have bigger balls than me?
You know what? Screw it, if Dale can tell Lily how he feels,
I can turn Melody's cold shoulder into a warm one.
I'm just excited to bring my girl
and my gang gang together as one.
I really think you guys are gonna hit it off.
We're excited, too, Tru.
I'm learning JavaScript on Duolingo
so I can speak her language.
That means so much. She hates code-switching.
So, what, you're just gonna dance
with a phone in your pocket all night?
- [laughter] - [Truman] What?
Trust, bro, I got something planned.
It ain't gonna be nothing like that.
You just wait and see, you guys are gonna freak.
Yo, it's gonna be
the best night ever, boo.
We got a pregame photo op at Dale's,
then gang gang limo ride,
then we're back at Dale's for a sleepover,
then Grant's gonna take us to IHOP in the morning.
Wow. That's a lot of time with the gang gang.
Can't we just be, like, a real couple for once?
You know, just the two of us?
Yeah. We will, girl.
Whenever the gang gang takes a bathroom break.
- [groans] - [Truman] Oh, come on, baby.
I was playing. Don't go sleep mode on me.
You my juicy boo, you my juicy boo.
It's Cerise and Tru, come on.
Oh, there she is.
I just want my Tru-boo all to myself sometimes.
I feel the same way, baby.
But I just want my gang gang to fall in love with you
like how I fell in love with you.
Just think, my girl and my homeys?
Come on, now, that's the ultimate collab.
Okay, anything for my main squeeze.
Hey, that's my girl.
Now, let's get ready for your big debut.
♪ You got the juice, let it rain on me like, ooh ♪
♪ Baby gonna ride it like...
"What's up, Melody?"
[laughs, gasps]
- Oh... - ♪ I been underground makin' moves ♪
♪ But I'm here tonight, let's groove ♪
♪ If you down, girl, come through ♪
♪ You got the, you got the ♪
♪ If you fall in love ♪
♪ Don't fall for me ♪
♪ You got the, uh, you got the, uh, you got the ♪
♪ If I lose control...
[gasps]
♪ You got the, you got the...
Diego, you're voting for me for clout king, right?
Don't forget who hooked it up with those Jordan 5s.
Why isn't Truman here yet?
The dance starts in, like, 20 minutes
and I'm already sweating through my first shirt of the night.
Rubins are notorious perspirators.
That's why my dad sleeps in the nude.
Speaking of Truman, you guys,
we got to be super supportive of him and Cerise tonight, okay?
You got it, D. That's what the gang gang does.
- [horn honks] - Gang gang.
- Hey... - Hey! Truman. There he is. - There's my man.
Introducing the new and improved Cerise.
♪ You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress ♪
♪ Oh, kiss me ♪♪
- What the fuck? - [chuckles]
Hey, gang gang. I am so juiced to meet you guys.
You must be Benny.
- [crunch] - [screams]
My Kruegers!
I'm so sorry, dawg.
She didn't mean it, I promise.
I swear it was an accident.
It's my first time on wheels.
Ugh. Can I order you shoe cleaner?
It's cool. It's cool.
I'm just gonna go do a quick Headspace
and I'll be right back.
Cerise, I can't tell you how good it feels
to finally have another girl in the group.
Also, I have a ton of charging cables in the fanny
in case you need extra juice.
No pun intended.
Aw, you guys are so sweet.
- [horn honks] - [all] Whoa!
Your chariot awaits, me lords and ladies... Holy shit!
I mean, uh, you, uh, you must be Truman's girlfriend.
So nice to meet you.
Holy cow, Dad. This limo is bitching.
- Isn't it bitching, guys? - Totally bitching.
For a vehicle that no longer meets EPA standards
because of its contributions to ozone depletion.
Uh... [chuckles]
Are you insinuating my dad
doesn't care about Mother Naytch?
Hey, babe, appreciate the eco-tip,
but I just think maybe we should let Dale have this moment.
Of course. Limos are such a fun school dance cliché.
[muffled music playing]
[grunts, gasps]
Honey, I'm gonna take the kids and their Roomba to the dance.
I'll be back in 20 with pad thai.
- [♪ Kelly Mac & John Jaylien Wesley: "LOTP"] - ♪ Party, party ♪
♪ We the life of the party...
[grunts] Son of a bitch.
That box tee with my face on it is a beautifully designed
and tastefully curated kick to the nads.
We have to respond. Even my fishies agree.
Broller coaster, don't be mad,
but maybe we should lay low for a bit.
Oh, I'm sorry, do you not trust your brother/elder twin?
Of course I do. I'm just worried about you, Bri-Guy.
You're right. I need to squash this beef, Arby's style.
- With extra cheddy. - Classic HR stuff.
You know, this reminds me of when Dion from Refrigeration
had a little tiff with Miguel in Home Theater.
- It turned out... - That's it. 'Form him.
- On it. Sorry, sweetie. - Chloroform? No, no.
[muffled grunting]
Now, arrange a meeting with Hiroki.
- [♪ P-Lo: "Same Squad"] - ♪ Same squad, same squad, same squad...
This is so dope.
Cerise, you comfy?
So comf, Tru-boo.
You look so foine tonight, babe.
You guys, doesn't Cerise look foine?
Yeah, you can barely tell she's a mop on a Roomba.
- [grunts] - No, what he means is,
yeah, you can barely tell you're new to this,
- 'cause you're such a natural. - Thank you.
And, Derica, you're such a natural at tracking down
discontinued shades of Girlbossier foundation.
D! You're wearing Girlbossier and you ain't sharing?
Okay, fine. Ha, ha. I'm wearing their concealer.
But only because I have this horrific pimple,
and I didn't want anyone to notice,
but now we're all talking about it, so thanks.
Hey, it's cool, D.
Everybody gets a pass. [inhales sharply]
- Right, babe? - Of course.
I've mastered girl code.
My nonexistent lips are sealed.
Wow-ee, you guys, look.
- [dance music playing] - [all] Oh, my God.
[Benny] Yo.
The king of debt has done it again.
Boo, let's take a sexy selfie together.
You read my mind, baby. You guys, get in this shot.
All of us?
- Cheese! - Oh, okay.
- [Benny] Gang gang. - [Dale chuckles]
It's clout time, baby.
- [cheering] - [Benny] Let's fucking go!
♪ This-this is how we live ♪
♪ This is how we live...
[whoops] Welcome to Westy-World, motherfu...
I mean, students.
Y'all ready to get your dicks wet... I mean, party?
[cheers] This party is cracking.
A'ight, gang, what do we want to do first?
They got the Guess Westy's Debt booth,
Pin the Booty on Mrs. Weston. Oh.
We definitely got to hit up the Zillow Mortgage Bounce Haus.
Sorry, Tru, I got a date with destiny.
And there's my queen now.
Wish me luck.
Ooh, I see Melody.
I wonder what her hair smells like.
I'm gonna go find out. Bye.
Hmm. Benny? How about you, me and Cerise
hit the henna face tat staysh?
Get some matching Gucci Mane ice cream tattoos?
Dawg, you know ice cream rules everything around me,
but I got to start mingling with these people
before the polls close in an hour.
And then there were two.
Lily?
- [laughter] - Lily?
Excuse me, sorry. Hey, hey, Lily.
Lil, I have something super important to tell you.
[boy] Yeah, me, too.
[exhales]
[Disco] [laughs] Whoa, whoa.
You on the list?
Uh, no, but...
Come on, Derica. Let's just fast-forward
to the part where we drag you out of here.
[sighs]
[groans]
[laughter]
Hans Kim.
Heard you got a trampoline.
Say, have you cast your vote for clout king?
Uh, sorry, Benny. Jules already got to me.
He hooked it up with a $20 gift card to Chipotle.
What the fuck?
♪ Want to give you a call, but I know...
Thanks for making me feel like a real girl tonight, Tru-boo.
Hey, you're the realest person here, babe.
I wouldn't trade you for all the juice in the world.
I love it when we jam, just the two of us.
When I'm with you, it's like the whole world melts away.
- Mmm... What the...? - [Benny] Yo.
This dance fucking sucks.
[grunts]
Yo, what? What happened, bro?
Jules is straight-up bribing kids with diarrhea gift cards.
And Melody's in the Fort Knox of VIP booths.
There's no way I can get to her.
Tell me about it, D. It's like Schwimmer's over there.
You got to get in line and take a number.
Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.
I'm-a call us a Jewber, aka Dale's dad.
Hey. Uh-uh, wait a second.
Y'all are just gonna give up after one try? Come on.
If I had given up on Cerise after she catfished me
at Chernobyl Fest, we wouldn't be here right now.
Yeah, I don't know if you can really compare our situations.
Hey, you know what? We're gonna help you.
Wait, we are? But, Tru...
Babe, if you help them with this they're gonna stan you forever.
It's perfect, y'all. Cerise is a genius, for real.
She's like the hotter version of Google.
Wait, really, Cerise? You would do that for us?
Of course. I would love to help you.
It would be my p-p-pleasure.
♪ ♪
[Phyllis] Here.
Ugh, where the "F" is he?
[Hiroki] I'm right here, bitch.
♪ ♪
Okay, listen, my liege... I mean, Hiroki. Fuck!
[laughs]
Look, I asked you here because I want to squash this beef
once and for all.
Oh, I'm all for squashing beef.
I just have one caveat.
I want you to leave Fairfax.
Melrose, La Brea, Sunset.
Go to Abu fucking Dhabi for all I care, but Fairfax is mine.
- [♪ Kruize: "Lala Land"] - ♪ I'm wearing 8 ♪
♪ I got the fro...
Damn, it's like The Bachelor: Middle School edish.
I haven't seen a sausage party like this since my Scout days.
Dale, look at me.
I'm a billion dollars in experimental marketing tech.
You think I'm gonna let a couple seventh grade boys
get in my way?
Peep this shit.
Hmm, looks like Cubby's grandma isn't doing too well.
[phone ringing]
[gasps] Mom? Is everything okay?
[woman's voice] It's Grandma, Cub Cub.
She's not gonna make it through the night.
We need you to come home right now.
What? [panting]
I'm coming, Grandma!
- [laughs] - Holy smokes.
- Girl, that was savage. - One down,
seven to go.
- [phone chiming] - Whoa.
Oh, yeah!
[phone buzzing]
- All right, Dale. You're up. - [inhales] Okay.
- [grunts, chuckles] - [gasps] Dale.
Hey. I love your suit. It's so beige.
Oh, thanks. My dad got married in it.
I, uh, I just wanted to say...
Girl, you look sexy as hell.
[laughs]
[both laugh]
- Ooh, ooh. - Chug, chug. Chug it, kid.
How's it looking, D?
Melody hasn't looked up from her phone once and...
WTF? Disco's wearing Latrine night-vision goggles?
Are you serious? How are we supposed to get past him?
If you can't get in, you got to draw 'em out.
Hold up. Are we about to set up a thirst trap?
[♪ Skiddalz: "Make It Happen"]
♪ A tisket, a tasket, a mil off in my basket ♪
♪ I don't have it now, but I bet I'll make it happen ♪
♪ Happen, happen, I bet I'll make it happen...
[Cerise] Jackpot.
This hippo's about to get very, very hungry.
- [♪ Spandau Ballet: "True"] - Ooh. Mmm.
- I think it's working. - Crank up that thirst meter, babe.
Ooh.
Huh.
[grunts] Oh, my God.
Is anyone else, like, really craving a Cinnabon right now?
♪ I know this much is true...
Looking for something?
- [♪ Ni/Co: "Let's Get Weird"] - [cheering]
Oh... [laughs]
♪ Into your world...
[shouts]
- Ta-da! - [cheering, applause]
Shit, that was inspired.
- I'm donezo. It's over. - [Cerise] No, it's not.
According to my CPU, only 75.6% of the seventh grade has voted.
The remaining 24.4% is undecided,
and 83% percent of the 24.4%...
Yo, not everyone is a genius robot.
Can you spell it out for the basics?
It means you still have a chance.
Let me ask, how flexible are you?
♪ What a great word, wanna invite me into your world ♪
♪ Ain't no alien, forget what you heard ♪♪
- [music stops] - [crowd gasping]
[screaming]
[Weston shouting]
Ladies and gentlemen, gaydies and gentlethems,
please give it up for the cloutiest kid I know,
Benjamin Hyung-Joon Choi.
- [♪ Missy Elliott: "Lose Control"] - [crowd gasping]
Follow my lead.
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ - ♪ Here we go now ♪
♪ I've got a cute face, chubby waist ♪
♪ Thick legs in shape ♪
♪ Rump shakin' both ways ♪
♪ Make you do a double take ♪
♪ Everybody here ♪
♪ Get it out of control...
What the fuck?
♪ 'Cause Misdemeanor said so ♪
♪ Everybody...
It's working.
- ♪ Everybody ♪ - ♪ Step, step ♪
- ♪ Everybody ♪ - ♪ Let's go ♪♪
- [cheering, applause] - Yeah! Ha, ha!
You did it, Cerise.
I-I'm gonna win clout king!
And I'm gonna have Truman all to myself.
[cackles]
Wait, what?
Have fun being clout king. Bye, bitch.
- Benny, dude, that was sick. - Oh, my God.
She wants to break up the gang gang.
I got to go tell everyo... [shouts]
May I have this dance?
[cries] No!
I thought about your offer and here's my counter.
Fuck you! You go to Melrose.
Me leave? Bitch, I am Fairfax.
I'm as much a staple of this block as this Jewish deli.
You're a fad, Brian.
A flash in the pan,
like your dumbass tennis ball shoes.
Billie Eilish loves the tennis ball shoes.
You know, you talk a big game for someone
who had to check themselves into a home for clout fatigue.
That's right. He fucking fatigued that ass.
You wish. The Dorito Boy helped me get my groove back.
And unless you and your twin sister
with her Kmart slacks leave,
the whole world is going to be off Off-Brian.
That's it.
[both shout]
[muffled grunting]
[laughs]
[Brianna] Oh, God.
- [grunts] - Fuck.
[laughs] I'm immune to chloroform,
you ungrateful twat.
I've been microdosing for years
to prepare for this exact situation.
No...
Yes! Face it.
Whatever you do, however you come at me...
I will always clap back louder and harder.
Put him down, you fucking brute.
- [grunts] - Brian.
You barked up the wrong bitch, Hiroki.
This means war!
Oh, fucking bring it, then!
- Jennifer, let me go. - [♪ Joji: "Sanctuary"]
Look, it's the CIA.
They found out you were hacking the Pentagon.
- Really? Where? - [Benny panting]
[chuckles] So, uh,
- is this, like, the super, super VIP section, or... - Shh.
I don't care what Nabisco says.
I can't stop thinking about you.
♪ I'll give you somethin' so real ♪
- [Derica moans] - [panting] Derica.
- Huh?! - We need to talk.
Benny, I will kill you.
- Now! - I'll be right back.
♪ If you've been waitin' for fallin' in love...
Lily, I-I really like you.
I've liked you since the first time
you threw a dodgeball at my face.
You make me feel like a salmon swimming upstream.
I like you, too, Dale.
I guess call me a grizzly bear,
'cause I want to scoop you up and rip you to shreds.
Oh, geez.
Oh, my God. Dale.
- Is that Molly? - Altoid.
- For when I do this. - ♪ First kiss ♪♪
Dale! Gang gang emergency meeting.
- Now! - No. No. No, no, no, no. Lily!
It's okay! Just come find me after?
Benny,
this better be the most important fucking thing
- in the world. - For real, man.
I was about to French.
Yo, we need to talk about Cerise.
Dude, I was so wrong about her.
- She is incredible. - Yeah.
She's like an angel sent from fruit snack heaven.
She's fucking evil, you guys!
- Huh? - Nah, B.
Look, I thought so, too, at first, but I was hella wrong.
She's a little kooky 'cause she's a computer program,
but she's not evil.
You were 100% right.
- How do you know? - Dawg, she's a master manipulator.
Don't you see?
This whole fucking night
was just her plan to get rid of us.
Okay, guys, I think we got to just talk to Truman
and clear this all up.
Uh, I don't know.
If we confront him about Cerise,
he might flip out on us again.
Look at me. She is a fucking psycho robot bitch!
Did someone say "psycho robot bitch"?
- [screams] - You.
Tell them. You're trying to break up
- the gang gang, aren't you? - Oh, he's right.
- I'm splitting up the stupid little gang gang. - [Derica and Dale gasp]
You're too much of a distraction for my Tru-boo.
But we accepted you with open arms.
You think I give a fuck about your junior high crushes
and your lame-ass clout king race?
Truman is mine. And now that you cornball losers
have what you want, I have what I want.
[laughs]
- [feedback screeches] - All right, Hypebeasts.
It's time to announce our clout king and queen.
- [cheering] - May the powers of Stephen Sondheim
and RuPaul's Drag Race bless me.
- You won't get away with this. - [Cerise scoffs]
Of course I will. The gang gang's toast.
Especially after Truman hears that you tried to murder me.
Tried to what?
- Aah, let go of me, Benny. Ow! - Yo, I'm not doing anything.
- Derica! How could you? - Dude.
- What is going on? - [grunts] Dale? Stop!
- Shit. - Guys? - No, I thought we were friends.
- No! No! - Cerise, no.
[screams]
- Oh, my God. - What the fuck? - Holy shit.
- [drumroll playing] - This year's clout king is...
Holy shit,
it's Benny Choi.
- [cheering] - Yeah! That's my boy!
Let's go, Benny!
All right, where is that little baby pumpkin at?
Yeah, where is Benny? Or Cerise?
Or Derica and Dale?
Oh, this is bad. This is really, really bad.
- [door opens] - [Truman] Hey, yo, yo, yo, Benny!
You will not believe it.
What the fuck?
Cerise! [panting]
- Baby! - [coughs] Truman.
Oh, thank God. You're alive.
Cerise, baby, what happened?
The gang gang called me a psycho robot bitch
and then p-p-pushed me off the stairs
- and tried to murder me. - [gasps]
- No, we didn't! - Yo, she's lying, Tru.
- Fuck you, Cerise! - Look.
I can prove it.
Psycho robot bitch!
[gasps]
What the hell is wrong with you guys?
Cerise spent all night trying to help you.
All she wanted was to be friends,
but you just couldn't let her in the gang gang, could you?
Truman, let us explain.
Explain this, D.
You didn't approve of Cerise from the start.
Your whole "inclusivity" brand
- is bullshit. And Dale. - Oh!
You never told me that you had a Scouts badge
in betrayal, you fake-ass friend.
No, it's not for betrayal. It's for B-trails.
They're the bunny slopes of hiking.
Dale, shut the fuck up!
Bro, she's trying to tear us apart.
You got to be kidding me, Benny.
Derica and Dale, that's one thing,
but I did not expect this shit from you, bro.
I thought you were my boy.
We were collab partners for life, but nah.
We still are, bro.
Come on! You're really gonna believe
a fucking app on your phone over us?
I'll give you an app. And a main course.
You're just jealous 'cause I'm out here evolving
- while you're stuck in basic-ass Latrine land. - Yeah?
Well, what about you, man? Your whole life
is one giant untitled shit project!
[Derica and Dale gasp]
- [grunts] - It's no use, babe.
They just hate us 'cause they ain't us.
The only people trying to break up gang gang
is you three. [sniffles]
Fuck you guys forever.
Let's get out of here, Cerise.
- [Dale] Truman, no. - Dude, please. - Truman, wait.
[whirring]
[Weston clears throat]
I've never been this horny for drama.
I'm sorry, Derica.
A lot of my followers are bots,
so I can't be seen with you. It's bad for my brand.
- [gasps] Melody. - [Weston] Benny,
I got to say, that was some fucked-up shit.
You are no longer clout king.
Wait, I won?
- Not anymore. - [gasps] So I won?
Nope. I'm the clout king.
Suck it, you basic bitches.
- Let's roll, Salary. - [vehicle approaching]
[horn honks]
Blessings, Fairfax Middle.
- Cody? - Cody? Oh, dear God. No.
That's right. I'm back, baby, and I'm a changed man.
I've officially rebranded to @Cody4Jesus.
♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪
No pranks, all charity.
Sup, Lils. You want to talk?
Oh, my God.
Lily. But I...
I, uh, I need to, uh...
I need to go.
- Worst. - Night. - Ever.
Trust me, boo. They are gonna pay for this.
[gasps] Babe, look.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
What do you want?
To take down Latrine.
In that case, have a seat, my liege.
Phyllis! A round of pickles for the table.
- ♪ Mr. Bad Guy ♪ - ♪ Bad guy ♪
- ♪ Know I'm not the one ♪ - ♪ I'm not the one ♪
♪ I'll burn the city down for fun ♪
- ♪ I'm doing whatever I like ♪ - ♪ Whatever I like ♪
- ♪ If you see me, better run ♪ - ♪ Better run ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm mister, mister, mister, mister ♪
♪ This is not a joke ♪
♪ This is not a drill ♪
♪ Pop up and we pop 'em ♪
♪ Get it poppin' like a pill ♪
♪ Drop 'em like an Irish Car Bomb shot, and I'm for real ♪
- ♪ Mr. Bad Guy ♪ - ♪ Bad guy ♪
- ♪ Know I'm not the one ♪ - ♪ I'm not the one ♪
♪ I'll burn the city down for fun ♪
- ♪ I'm doing whatever I like ♪ - ♪ Whatever I like ♪
- ♪ If you see me, better run ♪ - ♪ Better run ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm mister, mister, mister, mister ♪
♪ Mister, mister, mister ♪♪
Chirp.