Election Day?
I think it's romantic.
An Election Day wedding?
It'll be a nice distraction for Daddio,
what with him having to wait for the dead to vote.
Isn't that right, Mayor Gillis?
Oh, sugar bear, you think of everything.
I was thinking maybe a June wedding.
After.
Why wait?
Maybe we lose the election.
And I got to rethink, are you the right man for my Dessie?
Oh, Daddy.
You're a four-alarm fire sometimes.
We're hopelessly in love. Can't you see?
As hopeless as two turtle doves.
And now that I'm all that stands
between you and a lifetime playing dogcatcher, I say,
let's go ahead and get this American dream started.
Grazie.
You like being a nurse?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I don't just like it.
It's... it's my calling.
Slick.
Oh, by the by, I'm getting married in March.
What?
It's just business.
Shouldn't affect this.
This?
Didn't you say you were in the hospital tons
when you were a kid?
Yeah. Yes. I mean, yeah.
My dear mama, she was...
I was always quite sickly, and she was...
such a saint.
God bless her, she'd keep my spirits up.
She'd put on little plays with my dollies,
have me rolling in the aisle.
And she was very close with the doctors.
That's why I got such excellent care.
Slick.
What was wrong with you?
Oh, it was a...
it was a kind of m-malaise.
"Failure to thrive"
is what I heard the doctors say more than once.
I could barely keep food down.
Sounds rough.
Course, I had it worse.
Are you really getting married?
Oh, sure. It's been on the books forever.
- Mm-hmm. - My pop arranged it.
Do you love her?
Wait, seriously?
She...
sh-sh...
she knits.
I knit.
What kind of saint?
- Huh? - You said your mom was a saint.
What kind, I'm asking.
You know how, like, Jude was the patron saint of lost causes,
uh, Anastasia of Sirmium was the patron saint
of weavers, healers, martyrs and, for some reason, exorcists.
She was just the patron saint of me.
She cared for your sweet Oraetta patiently,
without tiring,
always making me her special juice.
Speaking of special juice...
St. Thecla's Hospital, may I help you?
Ah, hello. This is, uh...
M-Mabel Harvard.
I-I wanted to call to check in on my dear brother.
Fell into a coma three days past, poor boy.
"On the way out" is what I...
Sorry?
When you say h-he made a full recovery,
what-what do you...
Oh, that's...
a joyous day that...
And is, uh... is he, uh...
Wh-What-what r... what room is he in?
I-I-I should visit.
I'm sorry, who did you say you were again?
His sister, like I said.
Uh, well, n-never you mind.
Thank you for your time.
What are you doing?
I want to tell you a secret.
That's... No, you don't have to do that.
Remember how I said my dad gave me to another family
when I was a kid?
- No. You never... - It was a power share.
But here's the thing:
The devil is an Irishman.
I know, because I lived with him for three years.
And he did things to me.
Things you should never do to a child.
I don't want to hear about this.
I know, I know. It's tough stuff.
But I like you, Minnesota. You get me.
And you shared all that business
about your failing to thrive.
I'm saying I love you. I think.
Get out!
Come on, beautiful. Don't do this to yourself.
No, I'm serious. You...
You get the... you get the... fuck out of my house!
You make me sick! Do you hear me?
That's love!
What it feels like. Believe me, I know.
I almost puked in your commode just thinking about saying this.
Slow your roll, toots.
Romeo's beginning to feel a little rejected here.
Well, I hope you have fun at your wedding.
I'm afraid Oraetta Mayflower's busy that day.
I see, that's what this is.
I swear, you women and your jealousies.
Don't be here when I get back!
Dames.
What's this, now?
Aspet... Aspettare.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Who murdered a child to have me killed.
What?
You murdered a child...
to have me killed.
I'm so proud of you.
My brother.
Oh, he...
he's clever, our enemy.
The mulignan.
Yeah. When he let me go, I think,
why does he do this? Hmm?
But then, I... I sit here.
Waiting to kill you.
And I realized
he wants me to do this.
To murder my brother and take over this family.
Because I'm the lion, but...
you're the snake.
I'm the what?
What is happening right now?
I think I'm-I'm still dreaming.
No.
Hey, hey, no.
Now, um...
Yeah.
I...
I apologize, brother,
because I think you're weak.
But now I know what's true.
I accept...
this oath of poison,
knowing that, from now on,
no men will judge you...
but that you will judge yourself.
And if you ever betray me
or this family...
I swear.
Come here.
Come on, come on.
Tell me.
It didn't work.
They're a team now, the brothers.
So, what do we do?
Fargo.
We're closed.
I'm here to see my son.
You know who I am.
Of course.
Please, come in.
I've been here before.
Maybe... five years past.
Friend of the family.
Cancer.
Y'all had a real nice service.
We take our role here very serious.
As the shepherd to the sheep.
Got anything stronger?
Thurman keeps a bottle
on the top shelf... Whiskey, I think.
That'd do.
I can't help you.
What?
You're going to pour me a drink, and we're gonna get to talking.
How we grew up on the same street,
know the same people, and then...
you're gonna ask me for help.
And I want to go ahead and let you know up front
that's not going to happen.
This is our home.
Been in my husband's family since the century's turn.
People come to my husband,
looking for money,
at the end of their rope, and...
and they all think the same thing.
"I've got nothing left to lose."
But...
there's always lower you can go.
My youngest son was killed.
W-We can't know his plans.
All we can do is have faith.
Amen.
Does your eldest know?
You have daughters also, I think.
Two.
Mrs. Cannon, we have made mistakes,
my Thurman and me.
Lord knows we're not the angels we try to be.
And we're not looking for charity.
Just the opportunity to make things right.
I told you...
My girl turned 17 years old this week,
with dreams that take my breath away.
It can't be that she falls because...
I was too stubborn or weak to ask for help.
We will make it right... Whatever it takes...
If we get a fair shake.
I wonder if you would hold the service.
It would be my honor.
What are you studying there?
Uh...
French.
Ooh la la.
Uh, excuse you.
You got some pretty decent tunes here.
Those are my dad's.
Most of it's a little off the cob.
This one ain't half bad.
You like jazz?
Enough.
Who's your favorite horn player?
Mm...
Louis Armstrong.
Everybody says Louis.
What about Dizzy?
Or there's this new cat, Charlie Parker.
Everybody calls him Bird.
It's a new sound... no structure.
Just... go where the music takes you.
I like structure.
Yeah, I would've guessed that.
How come you know so much about music?
I'm a horn player.
Trumpet.
Then why you lugging boxes?
Oh, that?
That's just an experience.
Everything in life's an experience,
from climbing a mountain to scrubbing a toilet.
You climbed a mountain?
No, but I've scrubbed a few toilets.
Your mama's here for you.
Poor boy.
You keep your distance from him.
You hear me?
- I didn't do anything. - He's your captor.
Not your friend.
And you can't afford to make mistakes.
N-Nurse Tapley, might I have a word?
- I'm on rounds. - O-Of course, it's just,
I heard Dr. Harvard took a turn for the worse, poor soul.
And I can't seem to find the room number
- in-in-in-in the ledger. - He's been transferred.
- Transferred? - To a hospital specializing in the treatment of poisons.
To the, uh...
Attempted murder, the authorities think.
- No. - I kid you not.
I saw the test results myself... Positive for strychnine.
So, given the attempt prior
resulting in the shooting death of Mrs. Will,
the authorities thought it best to transfer Dr. Harvard
out of state until he can make a full recovery
and offer evidence on his assailant.
Geez.
Been here before you...
Dear Dr. Harvard,
I've worked alongside Oraetta Mayflower
for many years now
and felt that I should bring certain actions of hers
to your attention.
In the last year, many of Nurse Mayflower's patients
have died under mysterious circumstances.
After each death,
Mrs. Mayflower has made it a habit
to attend their funerals.
She has also been known to steal personal items
from her patients after their death.
Not to mention...
I have it upon good authority
that she has pilfered an abundance
of potent narcotics from the hospitals
at which she has been stationed.
Dead patients, misappropriated personal items,
stolen medication.
I suppose you have to ask yourself
is this the kind of nurse
you trust around patients in your fine establishment?
I'm gonna change my clothes and splash my face.
I'll be right here.
Nope.
You're in the wrong neighborhood, slim.
You need to turn your ass around and hop on back to your ride.
Don't worry. I got no wares to sell.
Oh.
I got me one of those, too.
Makes a pretty sound when it fires.
Kind of like... Chinese New Year.
But maybe instead of the six-shooter,
you'd rather see my badge.
I keep it real shiny.
U.S. Marshal.
Backed by the power of the mighty American eagle.
And if that old raptor could talk, he'd say, "Son",
"stand aside now, for there's no power on earth
that can keep a U.S. lawman from the execution of his duty."
You want me to say all that again?
Just gonna fix myself a drink.
- Would you like a drink? - Thank you, no.
For the Lord is my Shepherd, and as a wise man once said,
"Alcohol is your friend... With a knife."
My family's some place safe.
Not even you can find 'em.
I'm not looking for your family.
Is it still Thursday?
These days feel like they run together.
I know what you mean.
I came to your fair city to do a simple job
what feels like ages ago, and yet...
here's me, still...
Bamboozled at every turn.
I told those ladies no harm would come to them.
That makes me accountable.
Should I tell you what I've learned
about the criminal mindset?
By definition, the criminal rejects accountability,
as their identity is based on getting away with things.
Similarly, the criminal...
You...
Rejects morality and ethics, for if there is a larger right,
then the criminal himself is always wrong.
And you don't strike me as the type of man
thinks himself wrong.
Rarely.
So there goes morality out the window.
But into that vacuum,
what should rush but a code.
A system of rules,
mostly having to do with loyalty.
And this way, the criminal detaches himself
from the civilian world.
And yet, here I am.
Family man. Community leader.
Deacon in the church.
Oh, the criminal is capable of being
all of those things.
But it's a ruse.
For though you claim to share the values of your...
wife or preacher,
the Lord knows it's a disguise.
Ask me how I know for certain.
How do you know for certain?
Would a family man trade his youngest son to his enemy
in exchange for power and monetary gain?
You need to leave.
And so we circle back,
inevitably,
to your original statement...
To wit, I'm accountable for those ladies,
murderers both, thieves and cheats.
But now, since we both know
the criminal is capable of love and loyalty
only when it suits his own self-interest,
I've come to make the following point.
It don't.
Not no more.
In summation, boy,
if you could sacrifice your youngest,
like Isaac in the Holy Book,
well, then giving up two strangers
to keep the might of the federal government off your back...
well, now, that should be as facile as breathing.
I like you.
We Mormons are very friendly people.
No.
Pretty unfriendly, really,
but it's the way you're unfriendly.
Like you're doing me a favor.
They're on the 10:00 train to Philadelphia.
You didn't hear it from me.
Hmm. See?
I knew we could figure this thing out
if we just... put our minds to it.
You want my advice?
When you cross the state line, don't come back.
It ain't safe for you in Missouri no more.
You boys have a nice day.
On my signal,
Alpha Team will enter through the main doors.
Beta Team will penetrate
through the rear.
Someone want to let me in on the joke?
Fine. It's the 10:00 to Philadelphia, track three.
Remember, these subjects
are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous.
Any questions?
Then let us bow our heads for Psalm 91:3.
"Surely he will save you from the Fowler's snare and...
"from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers."
Amen.
Dismissed.
If it's copacetic with you, I-I want in.
Look, I've been thinking about what you said.
I just want to be a cop again.
No bullshit. All-in.
Sure, partner.
Just tell me one thing.
Who was on the phone?
And before you lie,
just know I ain't been fooled by man or beast
since Hitler was still giving speeches in beer halls.
It was Loy Cannon.
Go on.
He wants me to make sure you get those girls.
Doesn't want them coming back on him.
Get how?
Just...
to make sure they're caught.
Or killed.
Okay, then.
Now, what was it you were saying
about being a cop again?
I...
This is... this isn't a choice.
I got a condition.
When I was a kid,
the teachers said "oversensitive."
The army shrink told me I-I worried too much, which...
How can you worry too much when you're at war?
Those things you called me...
Twitchy, touched...
I been hearing that my whole life.
All I know is I-I feel better when I'm in charge,
when I got the power.
That's why I joined the force.
You know, because cops have power.
So, now I'm on the street. I'm the boss.
Except, turns out, being a cop's real risky.
Risky makes me nervous.
So I m... I make a deal with the street.
I take a few bucks, I-I look the other way.
Less risk, but also less power.
So here comes that feeling again.
Like I'm...
I'm drowning on-on dry land.
You know what worries me?
Dying with one boot on,
caught short.
That's a petty death.
So, let me throw you a rope.
You want to die like a man,
you got to live like a man.
I'm ready.
Giddyup.
I want to get some sweets.
That sweet tooth's gonna kill you one of these days.
I'll wrestle you a lollipop.
Go on, then, shake a leg.
What'll it be, sir?
Give me five of them Clarks,
three Bit-O-Honeys and a couple Abba-Zabbas.
Hallowed be thy name.
Five little, six little, four little, five little, six...
Cheer up, palomino.
In times like these, my mind goes back
to the wisest words I ever heard.
And forgive me for the blueness
of the final stanza, but here it is.
"Behold the amazing pelican,
"whose beak can hold more than his belly can.
"He can hold in his beak enough food for a week.
I'll be damned if I know how the hell he can."
Geronimo.
Six little, seven...
Stupid. Stupid.
Mm.
I'm liable to miss this place.
I's just gettin' accustomed.
You and me both.
Mm. Hittin' them Eyeties
was some of the most fun I ever had.
Barrel of monkeys.
Our objective is to bring 'em in alive.
But if they engage,
drop 'em where they stand.
Let's go.
Rattler's almost here.
Come get it, dirty coppers!
Just go. Go.
Go. Just go.
Go. Go. Go!
Go! Go! Go!
One little, two little, three little...
four little, five little...
Six...
Jesus.
Ten...
One little, two little...
Five, six...
Ten little Indians. Ten...
Seven...
Ten little...
Drop your weapons!
Drop 'em now, ladies!
Over here, I got 'em.
They ran out of bullets.
Attaboy, Weff.
Come on. I need you.
Cuff 'em.
Four little, five little...
Josto!
Drink.
I sent him after Milligan and the kid.
Huh?
Antoon was supposed to shoot the kid,
but... Milligan shot him first,
took the kid, and they flew the coop.
So Calamita's gonna run 'em down.
So you tell our enemy his son is dead?
Uh, how you know Irish doesn't run straight to him?
Mwah.
Josto...
the python.
No, come here.
Come here, come here.
Ah. Proud of you.
Boys! Come inside.
- It's freezing out. - In a minute, Ma. -Ah.
- No, come now, before you catch a cold. - Mm.
We're not little boys anymore.
We don't catch cold.
Ah.
Such disrespect, huh?
And me, just a poor old woman who loves her sons.
Oh, Mom, you know, we love you.
We're talking about business.
- Money. - Mwah. Come in.
- Mwah. - Come on.
Let's go!
Josto!
Gaetano!
- You okay? - Yeah.
Are you okay?
Now I get it.