Good morning!
I'm fucking hungry.
Why are you screaming? Order something.
Because there should always be food around our house.
I agree. My diet is extremely important.
And outside food is mostly oily.
Great.
So you'll do all the cooking around the house.
I don't know how to cook.
Such a waste.
Bro, just out of curiosity,
What?
Why is there wood hanging from the ceiling?
There's an interesting story behind it.
The guy Banchhod who owns the place,
was conceived under it.
Are you serious?
Yeah they did it under a tree
You can do it, please.
Okay
Say it.
Ewww...
Disgusting! I can't do this.
I guess her reaction says it all.
What?
What is it?
Don't worry. Ups and downs are part of life.
I'll give you some tips.
This position is called the happy camper.
Just clean the place up, please.
By the way, Sameer, you can cook.
So what?
So you'll be the cook,
and he'll do the cleaning.
- Sorted. - Right.
- Done. - I've never touched a broom in my life.
Your sweep shots are amazing.
Drop the bat, pick a broom.
And sweep.
I am not your servant.
I think it's cleaning-cooking lady/man/person.
No, I think... they are called maids.
I think it's called house manager.
I think it's called house help.
Where I'm from, we call them mom.
And where we're from, we call people like you assholes.
According to Google, it's housekeeper.
I don't know how long that will last though.
So now our home needs a housekeeper.
No! We don't need anyone else
We can clean the place up on our own.
Come up and take a look.
- Come on. - No.
- Let's go. - No, no, no need.
She's dead.
Mahima's cat is dead.
What are you doing?
We were in a standoff.
We lost now.
What did you say your name was?
Furry, man.
Her name was Furry.
God...
What was your name again?
My name is Maharani Khalko.
So... we can call you Rani?
Maharani Khalko.
Either Maharani or Ms. Khalko.
Only my friends and family can call me Rani.
She used to be the family's ugly duckling.
She had a hideous face,
but Mahima liked her.
I should do something.
I'm the boyfriend. I should do something.
Something that makes her happy.
You were.
Can you share your credentials, Ms. Maharani?
I've been working as a housekeeper for 25 years.
I can cook, clean, wash, even iron.
And I've been living in Delhi,
so I know barbecue as well.
That's great, but can you work in high-pressure situations?
Yes.
Can you cook anything?
Yes
Boiled eggs?
Yes.
- Dal Makhni. - Yes.
- Steamed veggies. - Yes.
Banoffee pie?
Yes.
Everything...
I'll sort everything, bro.
I've got to do it.
I am the boyfriend, after all.
Was.
Shut up.
And I don't gossip either.
Really?
Eight grand. Agreed?
All I need is some love, care,
and an amazing idea, guys.
Come on, huh.
Just work with me here.
Give me a nice idea that just gets me back into the game, huh?
No.
Ms. Maharani, can you wait in the kitchen?
Yes.
I know her cat's dead.
But if you bring her up one more time,
then I'll...
Nice. Very visual. I get it.
Bro, listen.
She's my girlfriend.
And she's going through something, okay.
And I've to be there...
What the...
Lakshay.
What are you doing, bro?
Bro, we're on a break.
These things happen in love...
When you're out you're out, bro.
And her name wasn't Furry.
It's RIP Meadow.
RIP Meadow.
Fuck, Meadow.
Anyway...
So... what about Rani?
Ms. Maharani.
She's good for me.
No...
not so easily.
- We'll have to... - We'll have to what?
Test her?
Selection process?
Fuck that. I was just enjoying the moment.
Call her.
Ms. Maharani, come in.
Ms. Maharani, wait.
We're not ready yet.
He wants to be presentable.
- Are you presentable now? - Yes.
Come in, Maharani. We're ready for you.
After a discussion, we've decided that,
you can start work tomorrow on a week's trial.
Your gas cylinder's almost over.
Order a new one.
Otherwise, I can't cook food.
Can I leave now?
Yes, Ms. Maharani.
I was leaving anyway.
I asked for formality.
She's a gangster.
So...
what now?
I'm in love with her.
We just need to call a cylinder expert person.
I meant about the cat.
She's your ex for a reason.
Leave a condolence message and...
No. This is about being humane.
Come on, guys.
I just can't leave her in the middle of all of this.
She's going through something rough.
Tell me what I can do?
How about I visit her?
You know what, that's too lame.
Everyone's meeting her. You don't know what's the difference in that...
Shall I take her to the zoo?
You know, different kinds of animals.
Ohh... actually... animal...
I can gift...
I can gift her a new cat.
Ms. Maharani left her CV.
Go run after her. Hurry up.
You'll lose her. Come on.
Ms. Maharani.
Your CV!
I think a new cat is the most...
innovative genius idea I've ever had in my life.
Come on, Lakshay, come on.
- Please, please, please. - Okay, fine.
How are we gonna do that?
I have a guy.
Vicky bro is here.
Vicky
Bro...
He's here.
Vicky bro...
Hello?
Bro... Vicky bro...
Bro...
How you doing?
Fit as a fiddle...
Welcome to Banchhod Niwas.
What the fuck.
It's an amazing place.
Isn't it?
It's really fit.
Isn't it?
We should hang out here, fuckers.
Obvio!
We should hang out here, fuckers.
Vicky bro, I've heard so much about you sir.
- Bro... - Motherfucker.
Who are you? Who are you?
Did my mom send you?
No, no...
I'm gonna slap you...
Vicky bro...
He's my bro.
Bro.
Bro, how you doing?
Come, come.
Who's the newbie?
He's imported.
Oh.
Imported!
I'm Akhil Gandhi.
Ghana's best cricketer.
Came here to play cricket.
To be the best out here too.
I'm from Ghana.
He's so untroubled, isn't he?
Hi, cut...
Cutu, cutu, cut...
Have you banged a coochie yet?
- Did you? Did you? - Vicky bro, the cat...
Cats are so fuckin' 2010.
Yeah.
Exotic animals are in these days.
There's something brewing between these two
Looks quite intense!
I can see subtitles too.
Fuck, where's the stuff?
Where is it? Where is it?
Where the fuck is it? Where the fuck is it?
I am sorry baby. I am sorry baby.
Fuck! Oh, coochie!
Haven't gotten there yet.
Can you shut up for two minutes?
Bro, let's talk about the cat...
Fine.
It's Persian. Available too.
But it's on my mind.
I'll do it soon.
Bro... bro...
You said something about exotic animals.
Show me those exotic animals.
Sit. Sit.
My baby...
- Exotic animals. - Yeah.
So sweet...
So adorable!
Go back... back...
Oh my, God.
Bro, I want this.
Banchhod Niwas needs him.
I want it.
Please make my home complete.
We don't need this dinosaur.
It's a monster.
Yes, yes, yes...
- No, no. - Yes, yes, yes...
Amen!
Are you alright?
Yes. I'm loving it.
I'm gonna touch it.
Hello, what are you doing?
Let me touch it.
- Salmoenella - No, no.
Vicky said he can give you diarrhea.
What the fuck.
No, no, no...
Lakshay, he's an Iguana.
- Think about it again. - I've decided.
What did you decide?
- All for one, one for all. - No, no.
What will we feed him?
- Same thing we feed on. - Grass.
Grass... anything else?
They prefer staying in a humid climate.
- Perfect. - Perfect?
How will he survive in Delhi? He'll die.
The housekeeper will make a pool for him.
Make a pool for him?
Yes.
We'll have a private mini pool for our...
Our...
Do you know what we're going to call him?
What?
Drum roll.
Say it already.
Godzilla.
Godzilla?
We'll call him Godzilla.
My Godzilla's come home.
Let me see Godzilla.
See...
You can't even look after yourself.
We've a housekeeper.
Who will look after him?
We have a housekeeper.
And who will look after you two?
We have a housekeeper.
- We have an idiot also... - Housekeeper.
It's okay, according to Twitter,
a person who identifies himself as a worker in your house,
can still be called a housekeeper.
The point is we're all here.
The four of us together will look after our cute, little Godzilla.
Split the money.
Everything will be sorted. Right?
Thank you so much, bye-bye.
Hold on a second.
I'm not paying for him. Understood?
But why not?
We'll pay loads of money together.
Go fuck yourself.
Done. Yes.
Got it.
Good morning, Ms. Maharani.
This is my mom's recipe for mashed veggies.
Please make it.
Fine, I'll make it for dinner.
No, Ms. Maharani, make it now. I want to eat it now, please.
The cylinder's almost over.
- Maharani. - Yes.
Time to give my Godzilla a bath.
Who?
Give my Godzilla a bath.
Will Godzilla go to Ms. Maharani?
Come on.
Avi, how much time more?
One second. Almost done. Almost done.
- Listen... - Yeah...
I thought...
Excuse me. One second.
I thought it was just going to be two-three people.
Tanya, my friend just...
Go big or go home, huh.
Come on.
- Guys, guys, guys... - Guys, hide.
Meow!
What the fuck is this?
Avi.
Mahima.
Listen, I know we've been going through so much.
And you were just hurting.
Plus your cat died...
She passed away.
I thought it will only make sense to give you a cat shower.
Yeah.
Why would you do that?
Your cat died.
So I thought I'll replace it with...
Look, it's Persian. So much cuter...
Look at it, Mahima.
Did I tell you to do this?
Did I ask you to do this?
I thought like... you'd be hurting...
Everyone get the fuck out!
Right now.
You stay.
Yeah, mom. Making mashed veggies.
How's it going, Ms. Maharani?
All good.
Show me.
That's not the colour I...
What are you doing?
It's according to the recipe you...
No, no, you're not following the recipe. Look, mom.
That's our housekeeper Maharani.
She can't cook.
Look at the colour of the veggies.
Practise, Ms. Maharani, practise. I told you.
Cylinder.
Avi... why?
I am sorry. I thought this will make you happy.
Happy? How the fuck, Avi?
I had Meadow since she was a baby.
Mahima...
I just... miss you, and I don't know how to deal with this.
And I thought if I get you a cat...
Listen, I asked for space.
You don't get it.
I know our relationship was far from perfect.
But that doesn't mean we go on a break every time we fight.
We are not on a break, Avi, we've broken up.
Every relationship needs two people.
It cannot always be about you.
And this is about you.
Tell me one thing in this relationship, which...
forget me, has been about us.
My mom gardens.
You like her gardening, nah.
Who gets the seeds? And her tools?
Dad does.
There's give and take.
But you only...
How is this about me?
I'm giving you this...
I did all this for you.
How... is this about me?
Who do you think I did this for?
Fuck you.
You need to get your shit together.
And till you don't do it, Avi,
it's not fair for you to be with anybody.
Mahima... tell me.
I... I just can't lose you. I really-
It's not about you losing, Avi.
It's about me. I am done.
It's us.
We can just figure this out. We can do something, please.
You know I thought we could be friends.
But clearly, even that is impossible right now.
So please just leave.
Mahima... do you want to keep the cat?
Avi, please take her.
Are you sure?
Yes, Avi. Please take her and leave!
And that too.
Take that as well.
Mahima.
I'm actually really sorry.
Ohh...
Can we watch something else, please?
No. Go make some noodles.
Why should I make noodles?
Avi.
Are you alright?
Bro...
What's wrong man?
Avi.
Avi. Tell us what happened?
Let me just...
Talk to us, bro.
I take it Mahima doesn't like Persians.
Shall we go for a run?
You'll feel better once you release some endorphins
Let me talk to him. Move.
What happened? Did Mahima reject you again?
I'm telling you she doesn't get your intent.
Wait, I'll text her.
Don't worry.
What...
What are you doing?
Don't do it.
What happened?
Her cat died, so I got her a new cat.
You're an ass.
And these two asses are supporting you.
Avi, is this about you?
Listen, do you want my help?
Will you listen to me?
Yes.
Do nothing.
Okay.
Let it go.
Then?
Then move on.
Look, Avi, you've some great memories with her.
Don't ruin them.
That's not what you want, right?
Fuck, let's make a couple of drinks.
Let's party.
Lakshay, don't...
He's sad.
Let him be.
He needs to chill.
Look, it's hurting because,
there was something between them.
Let him cry.
I'll take him to his room.
Avi. Avi.
Reptile king. Godzilla.
You missed Godzilla's entry.
You're so cute.
I can't wait for you to grow up,
and scare the shit out of everyone.
God.
Ms. Maharani...
I wish you had picked it up earlier.
Please be better at your job.
You haven't cooked food yet.
I told you I'll be back by nine from cricket practice.
Ms. Maharani, my diet is extremely important to me.
Are you listening?
I'm hungry, Ms. Maharani.
Leave this and start cooking.
Gandhi, hello. Say good morning.
I'm hungry, Lakshay. Please tell her.
God...
Look here, that's a 69 inch TV.
Water.
Food for me, please.
I'll start cooking after I've finished cleaning.
Get a new cylinder.
Close the door.
Water.
Isn't the bow tie looking great on him?
Ms. Maharani... water for my baby.
Pay more attention.
I'll get it, Lakshay.
Everyone in this house will do their job.
You sit and cry.
According to the contract,
you'll do everything we tell you.
Please hurry up.
Ms. Maharani, clean properly.
I told you there's a water spill here.
You didn't listen.
Guys, come on. It's okay.
It's not done! I'm going to take a shower.
This is not the first time it's happened...
Ms. Maharani, you're not listening.
It's affecting the baby.
Let's do it ourselves. Come on.
Ms. Maharani... clean all this. I want it tomorrow.
ASAP.
You and me. Me and you.
Like pineapple on a pizza.
You walk, I run.
You're the eyeliner, I'm the kohl.
Wow, your swimming pool's ready.
Come take a dip.
What are you doing? Get up.
Lakshay, I think you made a mistake.
The money for the housekeeper and Godzilla...
Why will I pay for your housekeeper?
And for Godzilla?
He's our pet. I got him for us.
You decided yourself, you got it,
now you pay for it.
What's there to ask? I just got him.
For us.
You pay for it. He's not my pet.
I didn't get it. You didn't ask me.
I don't have the strength to play
'let's prove Lakshay is an asshole'.
Can we do this later?
- Can we eat first? - Fine.
We'll argue later.
Ms. Maharani, I told you 25 minutes ago to ready the food.
The food isn't ready? You're too much.
I tell you four things, you do only one.
Yesterday you missed the water spill on the floor,
and the poor guy slipped.
I told you to make Banoffee pie but you didn't.
You didn't get water for Godzilla either.
What's going on here?
What are we paying her for?
I'll need to deduct her money.
Look he's also arguing about the money now.
I'm going to deduct four grand from your salary.
I am done!
I've been telling you from day 1 to get a new cylinder.
Your job was to get a new cylinder so I can cook food!
The place is always littered.
With tea on one side, coffee on the other.
There's puke all over the place every night,
which I have to clean.
Clothes are scattered all over.
I can't do it.
This lizard's better than you guys.
He lies in the bucket all day.
Move!
Mom, this doesn't look like veggies...
This looks like...
Akhil...
You know what I mean.
Godzilla!
Avi. Where is Godzilla?
Have you seen him?
He'll be here only. Where will he go? I'll call you later.
What happened?
Fuck, the door's open.
What happened, Lakshay?
Godzilla's missing. Can't find him.
Where can he be?
Look around. He must be somewhere here.
Look under the sofa.
How can we find him with all the clothes lying around?
Check under stuff.
Godzilla. Godzilla.
He doesn't respond to Godzilla. Why-
So what will he respond to then?
I don't know.
Take this.
- He's not in the kitchen? - No, man.
Gandhi, the gas is on.
Oh... I was here for an hour...
Iguana. Iguana.
How will he respond to Iguana?
- Godzilla. - Where was he?
Was he in your room?
Where were you? How are you?
Feeling a little unwell.
I was asking Godzilla.
What's wrong with you?
- No but actually, you also tell me- - Guess I've got viral fever.
- You can keep him. - No.
Hold on. You're scaring him. Wait. Wait.
I'll order some medicine. Okay.
Sit down.
You okay?
Where were you?
Sit down.
You like clean rooms?
Why didn't you tell us before? Hello.
Yeah, I needed some medicine...
What... How are you feeling?
Done.
I've made extra, for you two.
Nice.
Okay?
- Feels better now. - How's the soup?
It's nice.
By the way, I ordered every type of medicine.
Like cough, cold, et cetera.
You need to take only one, but...
You always overdo it.
But thank you. Careful.
Guys, we had two epiphanies today.
First, cleanliness is not all that bad.
Epiphany number two is... we're not ready for Godzilla.
Especially not me.
We cannot even look after ourselves.
It's almost like taking care of a baby.
Yeah, an ugly baby.
At heart, he's very cute.
True.
No, even I feel we should call Ms. Maharani back.
We'll split the money.
And we can try to keep the place clean.
Agreed.
Avi... Mahima's in the past now.
Come on.
Come out of Mahima's memories.
It's just not that easy, okay.
I miss her, right.
I know, bro. It's okay.
Happens with everyone.
Never happened to me.
What?
I haven't lost my virginity yet.
You know what, give us your phone.
Let's create a profile for him on the dating app.
Come on.
- Come on. - Great idea. Great idea.
Smart.
Teamwork.
Bro.
Which app?
Show them my Godzilla.
- Ms. Maharani... - Yes.
Mashed veggies, I made them.
Try it.
How is it?
Nice.
Really?
Very nice.
Thank you.
And thank you for the cylinder.
Vicky bro, I made these mashed veggies.
I made these mashed veggies. Pass it on.
Take this.
Vicky, send me a picture every week.
I'll send you my picture too.
So that he doesn't forget me.
Take it.
Don't think like this, bro.
This is just temporary.
One day Godzilla will return home.
Of course.
Vicky bro... you seem low on energy.
What's wrong?
Downer?
Just this farewell... is making me sad.
Even cutu can't make me feel better.
Hit that coochie, I'll feel better.