- What happened, Lakshay? - The room is on fire, bro.
- Bro! Yes, I'm... - I'm literally dying.
Bro!
Cocksucker, motherfucker, tit.
Bro! I am here.
Lakshay. What happened, Lakshay?
You're here?
Listen. Use the remote to lower the temperature on the AC.
Put it on eighteen degrees.
Gandhi, eighteen degrees.
Not 16 degrees.
Sameer. Listen.
Listen.
Why aren't you listening, Sameer?
I've been trying to talk to you for so long.
All I'm saying is just once...
Just one fucking time just perform!
What is the worst that'll happen?
Look at me. Don't make faces.
They won't snap their fingers.
Take that! Take that!
I snapped four times. Happy?
I don't want to perform for those jerks.
What about the fact that you are a jerk?
What? Where are you going?
Lloyd, man.
Stop misbehaving!
- Remove this. - Move your leg!
- Are you insane? - He likes it.
Don't!
- Don't. - Stop being jealous!
You're just jealous that Lloyd likes me more than you.
Shut up. That's enough, okay?
Tell the truth, Lloyd.
Has he ever recited his verses to anyone but you and me?
Oh, sorry, couplets.
Fuck. Rohit got married?
Wow, why don't you write about it?
Or are you scared someone will make fun of you again?
This is Rohit. The Brigadier's assistant.
He taught me to play TT.
We used to love hating on my father together.
He's married now. He didn't even tell me.
Show?
What?
Like you know any of these people?
Look. Isn't that the Brigadier in the suit?
Yes.
He looks cute.
He invited my father but he didn't invite me.
Who knows? He might have forgotten.
Just leave a message and get done with it.
Lakshay: Pajero gang! Come in!
Not everything is so simple.
Lochab: Congratulations, bro!
Biba's getting hitched!
Play it louder!
- Hey! Lakshay! - Biba's getting hitched!
What's going on here?
Don't create a racket! Do I have to give it to you in writing?
Sameer-a! My buddy is here.
This is going to fix your mood. I have some great news.
Brother! Come here!
We will get drunk today.
One sip. One sip.
- One.. - Stop it!
You will be a good mood when you hear what I have to say.
Look, I am not in the mood now.
Yes, bro, yes!
- May I? - No, not today.
But what is the occasion for this excitement?
Hold the bottle.
My sister Beeba is getting married. The date has been fixed.
Oh, congratulations!
This certainly warrants a drink but bring it in a glass like a decent human. Okay?
Shake hands.
I will make a peg for you.
Congratulations to all of Delhi!
Come down first. This sober greeting is unacceptable.
No, I'm okay.
- Oh, brother. - No, I'm good-
Let's go.
On the rocks for you.
Hey, Avi. Did you hear the news?
Beeba got hitched! The wedding date has been fixed.
How beautiful!
Wedding. Lifelong commitment. Love.
Fuck that shit, bro.
I mean fuck that shit! Let's party!
Party!
Beeba got hitched!
It's really heating up.
The weather or the guys?
This is their daily routine.
He announces his sister's wedding every day?
No.
This streaking. This goes on every day.
They drink till death. They dirty the place. They create a havoc.
Streaking. Seriously?
I could not go to the wedding I wanted to attend.
I am being forced to go to the wedding I'm not interested in attending.
This is exactly what you need. This emotion is it.
If you go this way you will kill it!
I am not going.
Look, idiot, if a jerk like Avinash Arora can move on...
from his girlfriend and strip and dance...
surely you can move on from your TT bro.
Rohit. Okay?
As for Avi, for the past seven days he's been going around...
with seven stages of moving on hanging around his neck.
He's faking it.
Retail therapy, bitches! New life. New clothes.
- Wow. Exercise and all, huh? - Yes.
Write such a smart bio that it'll give everyone FOMO
and not want to miss meeting me no matter what.
Party time!
These shots or those shots?
- Go for it. - I'm good.
Something like the smoothest MOFO in town. Smoother in your gown.
Hey, buck up!
Lakshay, come on! Come on!
With you... Love you so much.
What's the matter, bro?
Nothing. Just running and...
- Oh! Isn't this Mahima's house? - Damn!
Have you tried talking to him?
No.
Talk to him before he loses himself and just like fucks up.
Why should I talk to him?
All of you are idiots.
Look,
I cannot handle this anymore. I'm going home.
I'll come to college tomorrow. I'll see you in College.
Don't irritate me.
Dhriti.
Tell me what happens if I do come?
Then what?
Then will you stop forcing me every time?
Yes, alright.
But then you must recite poetry.
I don't want to hear anything, you're performing.
- I won't come. - Bye. Can't hear you.
I won't come!
Fuck. Why is the AC switched off and what's the noise outside?
- Avi. - Hmm.
- Avi! - Hmm.
Have you lost your mind?!
Tell me where the AC remote is.
I don't know about the AC.
No! No! No! No! No! Listen. Listen. Listen.
- What are you doing? - Listen to me. Listen.
You know you are a boy and I know you are a boy. Okay?
My junior doesn't know you're a boy. It's a very innocent creature.
I will break junior!
Go and see who is outside.
I will send that jerk to the moon!
If he wants to go to the moon go and escort him to the moon. Get it?
That way I will get some mental peace.
Finally I can sit alone and just cry...
Out loud, 'cause of all this sex I'll be having.
- So much sex I'll be having. - All the time.
I've been listening to you crying for two weeks.
Shut up now.
No, I am chill. I am okay.
I am okay. Don't teach me. Look for the remote.
Let me deal with that jerk first who's ruining my sleep this early.
Bro. You're up early?
How could I not? You played this grand orchestra to wake me up.
Is everything okay?
You tell me. Is everything okay?
Yes.
Don't you say good morning to your brother in Ghana?
Didn't you learn that in Ghana?
Come. Come.
- Right? Hold this. - Point.
'Is everything okay?'
You have worn my T-shirt.
These pants..
These Minion boxers are mine!
Come here. Come here.
Sameer's shampoo? Are you a bloody influencer?
You only know how to use other people's things!
Bro, all this happens in families.
Shall I show you what else happens in families?
Hello. Hey, family man.
It's not cool.
This is too loud.
Look here.
This should apply on you two as well.
What did you say?
What did you say? Can't a person who works hard to party all night...
get some peaceful sleep during the day?
People who work hard are not appreciated in this house.
That's my cigarette...
Turn this off, bro. Turn it off.
- Hold this. - It's waterproof.
Is it kick proof too?
Why do people get so heated in this heat?
How the hell would I know?
- I enjoyed that. Do it again. - Shut up!
Don't listen to those jerks.
Just do what you have to do. Okay?
- What are they? - Jerks.
Yes. And you?
What about me?
You're Ghana's best cricketer.
Do your thing.
Let's do that. Hair of the dog.
Which drug is that, bro?
It's not a drug. It's an ancient technique.
Very famous. It's called day drinking.
Spoken like a true bro.
- Come here. - No. No. No. No. No.
- You are sweaty. - Yes, sweat to sweat.
Where will we party, bro?
Let's party right here only.
Give me the living room remote control.
I don't have it. Neither the living room nor the bedroom one.
What is going on with us?
Hey. Ask him.
No!
- Listen to me. - No.
- Let me talk. - No.
Nyet!
Why did he have to speak in Russian?
These guys won't do anything in life or let anyone else do anything.
Why would Dhriti put me in such a situation?
Yes, Lloyd. That's what I am doing.
Give me a minute.
Sameer, you were born to do this.
You can do it.
Huh. You can do it.
Yes. You can do it.
You can do it. You can do it.
Lloyd, I'm so sorry.
You know I'm under a lot of pressure today.
I am terrified.
Then those idiots have driven me crazy.
I will do a good job. Yes.
Yes. Wish me luck.
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Of course they deserve it.
Sameer!
Bye.
How can we miss the party, Lakshay?
- Let's plan a strategy. - How?
Sameer.
My bro.
Sameer. Bro.
Listen to me, Sameer. Try to understand.
Hold on.
Which language do you understand?
Sameer.
- Please. - Let him be, Avi. He won't listen.
He is not our bro.
Come on.
I must have a reason for saying this.
Go and party in your room.
I can't take any more rejections! I can't.
What is this, man?
People don't treat their relatives the way he treats his best friends.
We are just asking
for a room to party.
You're acting like I'm asking you to help me patch up with Mahima.
Which, by the way, would be a great idea.
If you can do that. Can you do that?
That'll be great! Do I want that? Maybe.
If you can do that.
But you get what I'm saying, right?
- Please. - Are you done?
Alright? Are you done?
We're not done. We're like-
- Bro. - Please, bro.
- Aren't you our bro? - Please, bro. Come on.
I want my room clean and empty when I return.
What?
- You're the best! - You agreed.
One more thing.
- Lloyd... - Don't worry about Lloyd.
I'll take good care. I'll keep it clean.
Yes. We'll maintain one arm distance with him.
Stay two feet away.
- Perfect! - Sameer!
Have a great day!
Bro, Sameer, I'm also coming. Wait! Have a great trip, sir!
- Sameer! - Great guy!
All sorted. Don't worry about it.
Where are you going, Discount Sehwag?
Yes, yes, yes!
Practice.
Wonderful!
- Give me a ride in your car? - No. Come here.
Listen.
There's a shop right there.
Bring two cold drinks, two packs of ice and a pack of cigarettes.
Hurry. Rush back with it.
Come on.
Oh, I see!
So this is Randhir's room.
- Sameer. - Yes. Same thing.
No. No.
What are you doing? Are you insane?
Sameer doesn't allow this.
You can't sit there.
Balbir has a problem with people sitting on the sofa?
Yes. Sameer.
Whatever. What's his attachment with the sofa?
It's a sofa, not a girlfriend.
Bro, bro-
You could wait for us to toast.
Cheers! Sorry. My bad.
- Cheers! - Bro. Bro.
Let us make the drink at least-
Pay attention, gentlemen.
Nobody has seen the future. Let me live in the present.
It's your turn, Sameer.
- Sameer. - Huh?
Come on. Sameer. Your turn.
Huh?
You go, bro.
You're the only one left. Come on.
Don't waste time.
Everyone has extra classes in five minutes. Come.
Look at him.
- God knows what he's thinking. - Yeah.
Look at him.
I wonder what he's thinking so much about.
Good morning, sir. Good morning, ma'am.
- What is he doing? - He's going to choke, isn't he?
Excuse me. Sorry.
- Phone call. - Oh!
It is important. Excuse me.
Take the call later. Recite first.
Yes, bro.
It's a very important call.
- Sameer. - I'll be back next time.
- Can you hear me? - Bro, Sameer.
- Hello. What is it? - Listen.
Bring one milky bar and... what do you want?
Sweety supari.
Sweety supari for Shastri.
A Lloyd for me, please. Thank you.
I am not your slave.
And stay away from Lloyd.
If anyone goes close to him I will skin you alive. Get that?
- All will stay away from Lloyd. - We are away from Lloyd. Don't worry.
Who screamed?
Hello.
Damn! This weather is stupid!
It was sunny a moment ago and it is raining now.
My bike must be wet.
Ruined my mood.
Is this yours?
Yes, sir.
Didn't you see the No Parking sign?
It's on the other side of the road. That's why I parked here.
This whole area is a No Parking zone.
I noticed that vehicles were parked, sir.
Sorry, sir. I won't do it again.
I parked here because I thought it was allowed.
Sorry won't cut it. I have to give you a ticket.
Bros.
Looks like his balls are busted.
Show me your driving license.
Please listen to me, sir.
I don't have my wallet.
I don't have cash and I don't have my license on me now.
I study in NDIU. I will produce it tomorrow.
The Police is supposed to wait for you until tomorrow?
Don't the Police have anything better to do?
It's not that, sir.
Will you accept UPI payment?
What? UP Police? This is Delhi.
Not UP Police, sir.
I asked if you will accept online payment.
I will make the payment online.
You think this is a convenience store?
- Hey, Rajesh! - Sir.
- Come here. - Sir, don't...
Tow his vehicle.
Listen to me, sir. I'll do something. I'll call someone.
You'll get the payment. I'll do it, sir. Just give me a second.
Answer the call, Lakshay.
I don't think he can get it up now.
Don't be silly. His children will be born impaired.
It happened with my uncle.
His son still doesn't believe that the earth is flat.
Leave him here.
Answer the call, Lakshay. Answer it.
What are you doing?
One sec.
Move your hand.
Dumbass, move your hand!
Go get the stuff as soon as you're better.
I'm not going.
What?
I said, I'm not going.
You do it yourself.
Avi, bring the laptop.
What are you doing?
No, no, no. What is this?
If your balls swell up someday he will play cricket with them, bro.
Don't do it.
- Come on, Rajesh. Tow the vehicle. - Just one minute.
Only one minute. That's it. One last call, sir.
Hello.
Dad.
Arora,
when Kocchar said he wanted to come here for a drink...
I thought all of us would get to drink!
He means we should get alcohol when we've come here to drink alcohol.
Stop talking about alcohol. You want alcohol?
- You want alcohol? - Yes.
I'll order some more. What's the big deal?
Give it to me. I ordered momos for our bro.
- Let me feed him momos. - You ordered momos for yourself.
You eat.
- Eat. - We don't want to eat. You eat it.
- You are my bro. - Move it away.
I don't want to eat!
- Is it done, Lakshay? - No!
Hurry up. Come on.
Hurry up, man!
He will be here any minute. Hurry. Come on.
Hurry. He's here!
My brother is here!
My brother is back.
What will you have? Something cold, tea or coffee?
I hope my room is empty and clean.
I've ordered food for you. The room is clean.
Just listen for a second-
- Can't I go into my own room? - Hi, bro. How are you, Sameer?
- Good. - The room is being cleaned.
- Move! Out of my way! - Pour water.
Pour water.
Sameer.
What did I tell you before I left?
Didn't I tell you I want the room empty and clean?
It's a bit dirty but we'll clean it up.
It's my fault to have trusted you animals...
We have guests here now, Sameer.
We'll discuss it later.
What will you discuss later?
- We'll talk- - It became dirty. We'll clean it.
Really? Clean it then.
Hey!
I told you they're my friends. It was a mistake.
So they'll do what they want just because they're your friends?
- Wait. - Are they going to dance on my head?
Hold on. Let me talk.
Sit. Sit down.
Yes, sit. You are Mr. Kochhar's guests.
You came here to party and create a nuisance. Please stay.
We can't let you leave in the middle of the party.
What do you want? Milky bar. Sweety...
I'll order it over the phone.
Go. Go.
- Do your streaking here. - Go. Go.
- We'll talk later. - What's with his attitude?
I'll call you later.
Sameer, I told you they're my friends.
We can discuss this properly.
Out of my way!
Apologize to him, Kochhar.
Don't be a hero, you asshole!
I am cleaning up your mess.
- My mess? - Yes.
This is my mess?
Who was stuffing momos a second ago?
- Your friends came here. - You were drinking everything.
- They're your friends! - Hit each other!
You blame him. He will blame you. You blame me.
What else do you know to do, Kochhar?
You wanted to take responsibility! Jerks!
Take this. Take these remotes.
Go party in your room and get out of my sight!
What the hell is this?
What kind of drama is this?
What are you trying to prove by stealing the remotes?
You are offended?
You are offended. He is offended.
I am just as disturbed every night!
You were offended because you had to sleep without an AC one night.
That's why I took the remote.
So you would understand. Something would get through your head.
You guys are blind! Y'all are idiots!
Shut up, Sameer!
I've been telling you it was a mistake.
I made a mistake. Please forgive me.
What more do you want? We will clean it for you.
Really?
What do you want? You want to stop talking to us?
Stop talking to us or even better, kick us out of the house.
Kick us out!
Apparently it's very easy to ask people to get out of their lives.
I am telling you from experience.
I know. This is how it ends.
How long will you continue crying over a girl?
To hell with your experience!
Dumbfuck!
Somehow I managed to go there and recite poetry.
This jerk called me there to order chocolates!
Nobody answered my calls!
Sameer.
Listen.
These things happen.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
The phone was here. It was on silent.
I did not see your calls.
Hm.
I'm making a big deal about?
Listen to me, Sameer.
Look, Lloyd is not dirty. Huh.
There's just a bit of dip on his clothes, which we will clean.
Why are you overreacting?
I am overreacting?
Yes. Why are you behaving this way with your friends?
Aren't we bros?
No, I am not your bro!
I'm not your friend either!
Because friends answer each other's calls.
They don't mess with each other.
It could have been urgent!
What do you know about me?
You call me your brother. You call me your friend.
What do you know about me?
You know I hate calling my father, don't you?
That's exactly what I had to do today.
I had to call my father and ask for his help.
Why? Because you did not answer my call.
You were partying in my room.
You were messing up my room. You were dirtying Lloyd here.
That's why.
Damn!
- You made me call my father! - Have you lost your mind?
Sameer.
I'm truly sorry.
I honestly didn't know...
What happened to him?
Damn...
He bust his balls because of the heat.
And then we froze them.
Is that my kurta on his crotch?
Lakshay played porn before leaving.
It hurt like a bitch when I got an erection.
Oh, baby. Your junior stood up.
- Coochie coochie coo - This is too much.
Really? Too much-
Kocchar. This looks serious. Look at him.
Come on.
Do you guys feel I'm teasing him too much?
You toy with him.
Bully.
Bully is the word. You're bullying him.
Are you crazy?
Alright, I'm sorry. Okay?
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Bro.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Anger management.
Are you preparing for round two?
I could bring ball and stumps from his bag if you like.
I'm very sorry.
It is very hot outside and my day's been fucked!
It is really very hot.
I agree.
We don't even have the AC remote now, so...
Sorry about that too.
You'll have to buy a new remote. I'll pay for it.
It's okay.
We will pee on Lloyd. It will even the score.
Is that supposed to be funny?
- Don't make me laugh... - Stop. Stop.
Don't make me laugh...
Okay, forget that.
You couldn't recite your poem.
He couldn't recite his poem. So recite it for us, buddy.
We're a good audience. We will endure your poetry.
No, no. Don't endure it.
- Go and recite it, buddy. - Come on.
- Recite the poem. - No, no.
- Hugging won't spread STDs. - Okay. Alright.
Y'all never listen.
So, Mr. Poet, shall we begin?
Begin. Begin.
Wonderful! Begin.
One second.
Pause.
Me too.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
Let's go.
A day is winding-up.
A new day is about to begin.
If it didn't end today,
how could it begin tomorrow?
Hi, Rohit. Congratulations!
How are you?
Tomorrow will not be the same as today.
Just like today wasn't the same as yesterday.
If today were like yesterday, it would not be sunny.
How would those clouds clear away?
We might have clouds again tomorrow.
Or rain. Or sun. Or lightning.
Who knows?
We are having a party tonight, guys.
Let me know if it gets too noisy.
But to see what tomorrow brings,
the sun needs to set today.
Wonderful! Wonderful, Ghalib! Wonderful!
- Ghalib! - You kicked ass!
Today, tonight, tomorrow, you basically told us everything.
- Very good! - Seriously bro...
- Wonderful. - Really?
Did you guys understand anything?
Not a single thing.
But it sounded great!
It did.
By the way, there's one thing left.
What?
Beeba got... hitched!
I love you guys!
Gotta do it like this though...
Beeba got hitched!
Forget this.
Give me a hug.
No that. No. No. No. No. No hugs.
- You cannot refuse. - You cannot refuse.
Hold on.
Let's melt our frozen testicle here.
Come on, baby.
- Stay away! - No way.
Beeba got hitched!