(Luthor) 'So, this is how it ends.'
You know, I've carried this around for years
waiting for just the right moment
but now that it's here
I almost feel a little...let down.
Almost.
[grunts]
Any last requests?
Luthor, I have to know
those weapons you sold to the terrorists, how--
How did I get them through customs?
A gift here, a bribe there.
When money talks, people listen.
Like Stafrose of the shipping company.
Or Schneider, the Interpol agent who looked the other way.
'Sounds like you're going to have company in prison.'
[gasps]
It can't be! The Kryptonite!
Won't protect you any longer.
No!
(Batman) 'You're usually more careful, Lex.'
- You slipped up. - And you're going down hard.
[grunts]
Mission accomplished!
So much for your image as
the benevolent businessman.
This is the end of an era.
The end of your era, maybe.
beep beep beep
zap
boom
zap zap zap
whoosh
boom
swoosh
[intense music]
zap
Why do they always run?
[dramatic music]
[grunts]
beep beep beep
whoosh
[grunts]
[groans]
whoosh
screech
[grunts]
- Lex? - Ugh!
Lex?
[theme music]
[music continues]
[groans] You!
Lex, this is Dr. Patel. He's got something to tell you.
No. I've got something to tell you.
Whatever I said to the Martian won't stand up in court.
I'll get the best lawyers, the best witnesses, the best--
Lex! None of that matters anymore. Listen.
Mr. Luthor, you had a seizure.
Has this happened to you before?
My tests indicate you have
a rare form of blood poisoning.
Impossible!
Remember that chunk of Kryptonite
you carried around for years?
What about it? Kryptonite only affects you.
Actually, we're finding that it can affect humans, too
but only if they're exposed over a long period.
This is your fault! All of it!
What's the treatment? Radiation? Chemo?
Unfortunately, there is no cure.
Then find one! Price is no object.
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. It's terminal.
Happy, Superman?
Lex, if there's anything I can do.
You've done more than enough.
[waves splashing]
[opera music]
[grunts]
Hey, keep it down! Can't a body die in peace around here?
[music continues]
Exquisite.
zap
Humanite, how can you stand that caterwauling?
Music is one of the meager pleasures I'm allowed in here
along with a few other necessities.
You should try the culture channel.
It might improve your disposition.
There's nothing wrong with my disposition
that a little freedom wouldn't cure.
That's not what I hear.
I need your help, and I can make it worth your while.
What do I need with money?
Everyone needs money.
The only question is, how much?
zap
beep beep beep
beep
beep beep beep
Dinner, Humanite.
I'm afraid I'm a little under the weather.
Could you please wheel it in here?
What do you think?
Well, he is a model prisoner
but why take chances?
zap zap
Salisbury steak? Really?
[dramatic music]
zap
beep beep beep
Luthor.
Impressive, but let's not linger.
[siren wailing]
There they are!
[music continues]
Open fire!
zap zap zap
Hang on!
(female #1 on radio) 'All units, two prison inmates have escaped.'
'The Ultra-Humanite and Lex Luthor.'
'They are considered armed and extremely dangerous.'
screech
[siren wailing]
What we need is a small diversion.
beep beep beep
whoosh
boom
Call the rescue units.
That should keep them busy. Come on!
Daddy, help!
[girl screams]
I need backup here, fast!
whoosh
I'm scared!
Don't be. It's going to be alright.
[girl screams]
boom
[gasps]
boom
[Batman grunts]
[girl screams]
[grunts]
- Trina! - Daddy!
I'm used to being thanked when I save someone.
I'm not used to being saved.
Where are Luthor and the Humanite?
We couldn't pick up their trail.
No biggie. It's just two guys.
How much trouble can they give us?
[instrumental music]
creak
sniff sniff sniff
[growls]
Easy, lady, easy.
- Who are you? - The name's Copperhead.
- I'm here about a job. - So am I.
Somebody called me. Was it you?
No, but maybe we'll be working together.
Closely together.
hiss
- Ugh! - Aah!
Witch!
lash
[gasps]
Heh! Nice kitty.
- Hands off! - Argh!
No one hurts Grundy!
Ah!
crash
[grunts]
[Grundy grunting]
Hey, who turned out the lights?
(The Shade) I did.
And I'll do worse, if you don't stop
behaving like unruly children.
Who do you think you are?
The Shade and my nightstick
is more than powerful enough
'to handle you amateurs. Hey!'
Spare us. Without this you're less than nothing, little man.
[snarls]
Common criminals.
Is this what I've been reduced to?
(Luthor) 'Criminals, yes, but common..'
...most certainly not.
Lex Luthor? Well, the plot thins.
Cheetah, Sapphire, Grundy, glad you could make it.
And, of course, you all know the Ultra-Humanite.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Cut the courtesies, Luthor. What do you want?
Each of you is the best in the world
at what you do, and I have need
of your unique services.
My talents don't come cheaply.
You'll all be paid most handsomely..
...if you can do one simple job.
What kind of job?
Destroy Superman and the Justice League.
[grunts]
And I had those flames out before the firemen
even stepped off their trucks.
That's fast.
Fastest man alive.
Which might explain why you can't get a date.
Yeah. Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
Quiet.
(male #1 on TV) 'A dangerous hostage situation'
'developing at the federal building.'
So far, the Ultra-Humanite has refused
to speak with negotiators.
'A freak of science, the Humanite is reportedly a genius'
'who is also extremely dangerous.'
No biggie, right?
batabatabata
[siren wailing]
Humanite, let a hostage go
and I'll give you one of my men in return.
What do you take me for..
...a troglodyte? No deal!
click click click
- What? - Drop the weapon, Magilla!
[grunts]
- Look for other hostages! - Right!
[grunts]
- You're safe now. - But you're not!
[snarls]
thud
[grunts]
zap
Surprised?
[Cheetah snarling]
hiss
[dramatic music]
I'm going to enjoy this.
bash bash bash
[glass shattering]
[grunts]
thud thud thud
Down, boy!
Let me go!
Relax, lady. This will all be over before you know it.
That's what you think.
Hey!
[Flash grunts]
zap
crackle crackle
thwack
zap
zap zap
swish
zap zap
[Humanite grunts]
Finish him off!
zap zap zap
[Luthor grunts]
[grunts]
bwok
zap zap
boom
There goes our paycheck.
I'd hate to see anything happen to you, Lex.
I'm sure.
[grunts]
zap
- You okay? - Don't worry about me.
Stop them!
Luthor, they're too well organized.
Let me get us out of here.
It's either that or prison again.
Alright, just do it!
zap
- They're gone. - Look.
(Flash) 'We've still got one of them.'
But they got one of us.
[groans]
The venom antidote, it's working.
Welcome back.
We were afraid we'd lost you.
Luthor and the others, what happened?
They got away, all but Copperhead.
I'm headed down to Striker's to interrogate him.
Alright. Let's go.
No. You're staying here.
That venom almost killed you.
- So? - So, you're staying here.
You really should be resting.
I know this must be hard for you
feeling vulnerable.
You're the only one of us without special powers
but you don't need to prove yourself.
You're a valued member of this team
and we're only trying to--
I'm taking the shuttle.
Unless you want to try and stop me.
No.
The best at what you do. What was I thinking?
- We did everything we could. - Did you?
Did you fight like your lives depended on it?
Did you fight to the last man?
You get what you pay for, Luthor.
Are you saying you want more money?
You want to be rewarded for failure?
I ought to take the whole lot of you and..
- And what? - Go ahead, do it.
You'll be saving me from months of bedpans and feeding tubes.
And you'll also guarantee that none of you
will ever see a penny from me.
You're crazy.
[door opens]
And what's wrong with that?
It's done wonders for me.
- Get out of here. - Oh, Lexie, I'm hurt.
How could you have this little party
without inviting me?
It's not a party.
(Luthor) 'Grundy, get rid of him.'
[grunting]
[Grundy coughing]
thud
But seriously, Lex, you need me.
Like I need skin rash.
Maybe so, but I know something you don't know.
I know how the bat thinks.
beep beep beep
How long we wait here?
Patience, Grundy, patience.
(Grundy) 'Grundy not like waiting.'
thwack
crash
Ha ha ha!
[laughing]
[theme music]