- WA-CHA! HIYA!
- AND NOW... DREAMWORKS'
KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
[gong rings]
- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS
* OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE *
* KUNG FU PANDA:
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
- [grunts]
[laughs nervously]
[grunts]
- DAD!
I GOT YOUR-- OOH! OOH.
STUFF.
[grunts]
HELLO?
[grunts]
OKAY. JUST GOTTA DO A LITTLE SQUEEZY SQUEEZE ACTION HERE.
[struggling noises]
NEED TO WORK ON MY... [grunts] SQUEEZY SQUEEZE.
- PO!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- JUST, UH, HANGING.
- STOP GOOFING AROUND.
THE AUTUMN FESTIVAL'S IN A WEEK,
AND WE NEED TO BAKE MOON CAKES!
[popping sound] - AH!
DAD, I, UH...
I'M KINDA TOO BUSY TO HELP THIS YEAR, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, IMPORTANT DRAGON WARRIOR BUSINESS.
- [chuckles] WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT
THAN BAKING 2,700 MOON CAKES?
OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
AND MAKING ENOUGH SCRATCH TO GET THAT DELUXE SPATULA
I'VE HAD MY EYE ON?
[choral singing]
- I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE, LIKE, BEING THE MOST BODACIOUS WARRIOR IN THE LAND,
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SAFETY OF ALL WHO RESIDE
IN THE VALLEY OF PEACE.
- OH! THAT REMINDS ME.
YOUR AUTUMN FESTIVAL CLOWN COSTUME!
- [sighs]
- GOODIE GOODIE. [giggles]
OH, SO HAPPY!
- DAD. DRAGON WARRIOR. ME.
I CAN'T BE THE AUTUMN FESTIVAL CLOWN ANYMORE.
AND I DON'T HAVE TIME TO HELP YOU MAKE MOON CAKES!
OKAY?
- [laughs]
- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
- IT'S THAT COSTUME! SO FUNNY.
- [groans]
- MM. NOT SO FUNNY NOW.
FINE, PO.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR POOR OLD DAD,
WORKING HIS WINGS TO THE BONE.
GO! GO. GO HAVE YOUR FUN.
- [sighs] NOT FUN, DAD.
DRAGON WARRIOR BUSINESS.
SERIOUS STUFF.
[yelling gleefully]
WHOA!
MONKEY, GET READY FOR THE-- WHOA.
- WHOA.
- [pants] DIZZY.
HA! OOH. AH!
- OH! WHOA.
- HEH--UH, WHOA! AH! OOH. [laughs]
KI-CHA!
- WHA-- OOH!
[laughter]
[gagging sounds]
[retching]
- EXCEPT FOR THAT PUKING PART,
THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN THE BEST IDEA WE'VE EVER HAD.
[yelling]
- WH-- AH!
- OH, YEAH.
AH! WH-- - UH!
- WOW, YOU'RE REALLY GETTING GOOD
AT DIZZY KUNG FU.
- HUH! - OH!
- AH, YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE DIZZY.
YOU GOTTA USE THE DIZZY.
SEE, IF I AIM OVER THERE,
THEN I HIT OVER HERE.
- [grunts]
- COOL, HUH?
[gasps] DAD!
- HUMPH.
OFFICIAL DRAGON WARRIOR BUSINESS, HUH?
AND THIS IS WHY YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE?
HUMPH.
- DAD, WAIT.
[sighs]
I THINK DAD'S GOTTEN LONELY SINCE I MOVED OUT.
AND I GUESS I'VE SORTA BEEN DITCHING HIM LATELY.
A LOT.
- DITCH YOUR DAD?
THAT'S MEAN.
YOU'RE MEAN!
- NO, I'M NOT!
IT'S JUST... I'M DRAGON WARRIOR NOW.
I HAVE MY OWN LIFE,
AND I--HE-- I--HE--OH.
[sighs] MAYBE I AM MEAN...
ISH.
- YOU SHOULD MAKE IT UP TO HIM.
GET HIM SOMETHING TO KEEP HIM COMPANY.
LIKE A PLANT.
OR A DRAWING OF A MOUNTAIN.
- [gasps] THAT'S IT!
- YOU'RE GETTING HIM A PLANT? - NO...
A GIRLFRIEND!
READ IT.
- "BUSINESS OWNER.
"FATHER OF DRAGON WARRIOR.
"SEEKS FULL-TIME GIRLFRIEND.
NO OLD GOATS NEED APPLY."
- AND LET THE LADIES POUR IN.
UH, DAD?
- HUMPH.
- UH, SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND MUCH.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY, SON.
I KNOW YOU HAVE IMPORTANT DRAGON WARRIOR BUSINESS
TO ATTEND TO LIKE
UPCHUCKING WITH YOUR MONKEY FRIEND
- YEAH. [chuckles]
LISTEN, UH, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD USE A LITTLE COMPANY.
- OH! YOU GOT ME THE SPATULA?
- NO. BUT WOULD THAT HAVE DONE IT?
[knock at door]
[gasps] SHE'S HERE!
DAD, I GOT YOU A DATE.
WITH A GIRL.
- MRS. YOON?
- OKAY, MAYBE "GIRL" WAS A STRETCH.
BUT, UH, I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR SASSY SPINSTERS.
[clicks tongue]
- [giggles]
- OH, PO.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE SINCE THE CHIN DYNASTY.
AH, BUT THAT WAS A GREAT DYNASTY.
[sighs]
STILL, I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
- SURE IT IS, DAD!
YOU'RE COOPED UP IN HERE ALL DAY WITH YOUR NOODLES.
YOU NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE...
THAT ISN'T ME.
- WELL, I-I-I-I-I-I DON'T KNOW. [chuckles]
- DAD--
HERE'S THE ROMANTIC DINNER COMBO!
TWO SOUPS IN ONE LARGE BOWL.
- AND I MADE US SOME NICE STEAMED BUNS FOR THE OCCASION.
- WHAT?
YOU DARE BESMIRCH THE PURITY OF MY NOODLE SOUP
WITH THESE--THESE-- THESE BUNS?
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?
- OH, WELL, I JUST, UH--
- DO I COME OUT TO YOUR BUN CART
AND MAKE CHAO WA ALL OVER IT?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME!
- UH--
- NOW, GET OUT OF MY SHOP,
AND TAKE YOUR STEAMY BUNS WITH YOU!
- AH!
WELL, UH, I HAD A LOVELY TI--
[knock at door]
THANKS AGAIN.
- CHAO WA?
- I MADE IT UP.
[playing lute badly]
- SO, I LIKE YOU.
DO YOU LIKE ME?
- WELL, YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A PIG.
[lute playing stops]
- SO, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A WOMAN?
- WELL, ANTENNAE CREEP ME RIGHT OUT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE A WOMAN?
- [snorts]
- OUCH!
- DAD, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
- YOU'RE BEING RUDE, OBNOXIOUS.
YOU CHALLENGED THAT ONE LADY TO A FIST FIGHT!
- WELL, SHE WAS EYEBALLING ME!
- DAD!
- OH, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL LET YOU IN ON MY SECRET.
I WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF THOSE LADIES.
- BECAUSE?
- I ALREADY... HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
- WHAT? REALLY?
THAT'S...GREAT!
THIS--THIS IS SO--
[clanking]
HANG ON, DAD.
[gasps] SCORPION!
[ominous music]
HUH! [grunting]
- LET ME OUT OF HERE!
- DAD, SCORPION'S BACK TO SEEK HER REVENGE!
RUN! GET THE FIVE!
- UH-- NO, PO!
PO, PO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
- NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
SCORPION IS DANG-- AH!
[grunts] OOH. OOH.
- SCORPION IS--
- [slowly] NO!
- MY GIRLFRIEND!
- HUH?
- [slowly] NO!
- DAD, WATCH OUT!
SCORPION'S ON YOU!
- NO, PO! NO!
- IF YOU JUST MOVE-- WILL YOU PLEASE--
YOU'RE MAKING THIS DIFFICULT.
I GOTTA SAVE YOU!
OOH.
- I'M TELLING YOU! SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
- YOU AND SCORPION?
TOGETHER?
NO. REALLY? NO. REALLY? NO!
- REALLY!
- THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.
I-- [gasps]
SHE'S BRAINWASHED YOU WITH HER SCORPION POISON.
QUICK, HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?
- NONE. - RIGHT.
BUT SHE COULD'VE COACHED YOU. - OH, PO.
YOU'RE THINKING OF THE OLD ME.
I'M NOT EVIL ANYMORE.
- REALLY?
WHAT CHANGED YOU?
- THE LOVE OF A GOOD GOOSE.
- UH, DAD, CAN I TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY?
AWAY FROM YOUR [gags] GIRLFRIEND?
BE RIGHT BACK. - [gasps]
- WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
YOU CAN'T DATE SCORPION!
SHE'S A CONVICTED, VILLAINOUS, EVIL, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND!
- AH, AH, AH! NEVER CONVICTED.
- WHATEVER! SHE'S STILL, LIKE, BANISHED.
IN EXILE! NOT ALLOWED TO BE HERE!
- [sighs] THE SWEET ALLURE OF FORBIDDEN LOVE. AH.
- DAD, I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS.
SHE IS EVIL!
- OH, HONEY. YOU SEEM UPSET.
WANT A COOKIE?
- I--YES.
[mouth full] BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT--
WOW, THIS IS A REALLY GOOD COOKIE.
- I KNOW. ALL THIS AND SHE CAN COOK, TOO!
SHE'S LIKE MY DREAM BUG.
- OH, CHARMER.
AND YOU. YOU'RE STAYING FOR DINNER.
- DINNER? PFFT. NO WAY.
[all chewing]
- SO, PO.
DID YOU KNOW THAT SCORPION ONCE WON A BAKING COMPETITION?
- REALLY? THAT'S INTERESTING.
HEY, HERE'S ANOTHER FUN FACT.
DID YOU KNOW THAT SCORPION ONCE TRIED TO KILL ME?
- HUMPH.
- PO! NOW YOU ARE BEING RUDE.
- BUT DAD!
- [sighs] JUST LOOK AT HER.
ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?
AND THOSE EYES...
ALL THOSE GORGEOUS EYES.
- [gags]
- AND THAT EXOSKELETON. WOWEE!
- SERIOUSLY, DAD, I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED, BUT--
- IT WAS YOU, SON.
YOU BROUGHT US TOGETHER. - ME?
- IT'S TRUE.
ONCE I SAW THAT FLYER YOU PUT UP, I THOUGHT,
"THIS IS A PERSON I COULD BE WITH UNTIL THE DAY HE DIES."
- DIES?
- LOOK, YOU CAN SEE MY LAIR FROM HERE.
- WONDERFUL. WHERE?
- [cackles] - AH!
- NO!
DAD!
- HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN? AH!
- I'M-- [gasps] DAD!
GOTTA SAVE DAD!
[rattling]
[panting] GOTTA SAVE DAD.
SAVE DAD. UGH, STAIRS.
[panting]
[gasps]
DAD!
SHE'S TRYING TO KI--
- DID YOU COME TO CUT VEGETABLES WITH THOSE?
- I THOUGHT I SAW-- YOU WERE--I WAS--
- SON, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET USED TO THE FACT THAT
I'M WITH SCORPION NOW BECAUSE I LOVE HER.
- OH, I LOVE YOU TOO!
[retching]
- RIGHT. YOU COULD HEAR THAT.
SORRY. [sighs]
I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, DAD.
SCORPION, I APOLOGIZE.
AH!
[laughs nervously]
- IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT, PO.
I JUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE FACES.
- AND YOU DID TRY TO KILL ME. - TRUE.
- I PROMISE TO BE MORE SUPPORTIVE
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP, DAD.
MIGHT TAKE ME A WHILE, THOUGH.
BUT I WOULDN'T COUNT ON SHIFU AND THE FURIOUS FIVE.
- OH, DO YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM?
- THEY MIGHT NOT BE AS UNDERSTANDING AS YOU ARE.
UH, PLEASE, SON.
- [sighs] OKAY.
YOU TWO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
I'M REALLY...HAPPY FOR YOU.
- NO!
- WE HEARD THAT!
- SORRY.
- [sighs]
- GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.
[groans]
- WHAT'S MASTER SHIFU DOING?
- [grunts] HE'S PRACTICING HIS YEARLY...
[snoring sound] AUTUMN FESTIVAL SPEECH FOR TONIGHT.
- MM, THAT REMINDS ME.
I'VE GOTTA PRACTICE SLEEPING WITH MY EYES OPEN.
[laughter] - OH! GOOD ONE.
- WHAT?
- SKIP IT.
- [kung fu noises]
- UH, PO?
YOU SEEM UPSET.
- HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
[angry kung fu noises]
- I TAKE IT YOU'RE NOT SO HAPPY YOUR DAD FOUND A GIRLFRIEND.
- [panting] I DON'T MIND HIM HAVING A GIRLFRIEND,
IT'S JUST NOT THIS GIRLFRIEND.
YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE.
- HOW WOULD WE KNOW THAT?
- UH, NO.
NOT HER, PER SE. JUST, UM, I MEAN--
YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT WOMEN ARE LIKE.
[chuckles]
OH! NO! THAT'S NOT--
I MEAN-- [sighs]
GO AHEAD.
- PO, GIVE YOUR DAD'S GIRLFRIEND A CHANCE.
- THANKS, VIPER.
I'M GONNA DO THAT.
OOH!
OW. OOH! AH!
MONKEY!
- OOH. SORRY!
I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING A THING.
SERIOUSLY, PO. VIPER'S RIGHT.
YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A CHANCE.
- DAD?
- HE'S DELIVERING MOON CAKES FOR THE FESTIVAL.
NICE COSTUME!
- [chuckles] YEAH.
WORE IT FOR MY DAD.
GOT HIM A NEW SPATULA.
THOUGHT WE COULD ALL USE IT TO MAKE MOON CAKES TOGETHER.
- SWEET!
- I MEAN, YOU GUYS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER...
[sighs] I GUESS. AND...
MAYBE SOMEDAY, I CAN CARE ABOUT YOU, TOO. MAYBE.
- AWW, HONEY. SIT.
FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN!
- AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER SHIFU'S SPEECH?
- I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
- [chuckles] I'M STARTING TO CARE ABOUT YOU ALREADY.
MM! THESE ARE SERIOUSLY GOOD.
OH! MM. - IT'S A NEW RECIPE.
- MM. NO WONDER YOU WON THAT BAKING CONTEST.
- TRUTH BE TOLD, I WON
BECAUSE I BRAINWASHED THE JUDGES.
- TO BE HONEST,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BRAINWASH MY DAD.
[laughs]
- THAT'S SILLY.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO BRAINWASH YOUR DAD
WHEN I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO...
POISON EVERYONE IN THE VALLEY?
- OH! YEAH, GOOD QUESTION. WHAT?
- POISON THEIR BRAINS! IN FACT...
I'M POISONING YOU RIGHT NOW.
- POISON? MOON CAKES?
[increasingly foreboding sounds]
- OH, IT WON'T KILL YOU,
BUT IT WILL MAKE YOU DEFENSELESS!
[laughs]
- UH-- AH.
[slurred] AH! I WAS RIGHT NOT TO TRUST YOU!
- THIS IS GOING TO BE EASIER THAN I THOUGHT!
- OOH! OW! [grunts]
[groans]
- I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR FATHER!
[evil laugh] - NO!
- [groans]
- HI, HONEY.
PO STOPPED BY AND LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.
- HE DID?
- YES. HE SAID,
NOW, OH, LET ME MAKE SURE I'M GETTING THIS RIGHT,
THE DRAGON WARRIOR DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU
AND NEVER WANTS TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN.
TEA?
- WHAT?
- WHA--?
- HE SAID THAT?
- YES.
- NO.
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- OH, IT'S THE NEIGHBORS.
I THINK THEY'RE BUILDING A RUMPUS ROOM.
SHALL WE?
THE FESTIVAL AWAITS!
- [sighs]
- COME ON.
IF PO REALLY LOVES YOU,
THEN HE'LL FIND YOU AT THE FESTIVAL.
- I--I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
[lively music]
- WHERE'S PO?
- MAYBE HE'S BONDING WITH HIS DAD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.
- MORE LIKELY, HE'S BONDING WITH A BAG OF ALMOND COOKIES.
- [laughs] OOH, YOU'RE ON FIRE TODAY, TIGRESS.
- WHAT?
- SKIP IT.
- EVERYONE, PLEASE GRAB A MOON CAKE
FOR THE CEREMONIAL SPEECH,
FOLLOWED BY THE CEREMONIAL EATING OF THE MOON CAKES,
FOLLOWED BY THE CEREMONIAL CEREMONY.
all: OH!
[excited noises]
- AW, PINGY.
LOOKS LIKE PO DIDN'T SHOW UP AND DOESN'T LOVE YOU.
[grunting]
- GOT IT! OOH!
[thuds, crash] - OOH.
[groans]
- AND SO, PER TRADITION,
WE RAISE OUR MOON CAKES TO HONOR THE HARVEST.
- [gasps]
- HAPPY AUTUMN FESTIVAL, EVERYONE.
- [slurred] NO!
- IT'S THE AUTUMN FESTIVAL CLOWN!
- [slurred] DON'T YOU EAT THAT!
[laughter] - LOVE THIS BIT!
- HUH! - UH-UH. NO, CLOWN!
YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY MOON CAKE THIS YEAR!
[laughter] - AH. UH. AH.
UH. AH. EEH. OOH.
- LOOK AT HIM DANCE!
- NO!
OOH.
[groaning]
- [grunts] WHAT'S GOING ON?
- [groans]
- I--
- WHAT'S HAPPENING TO EVERYONE?
- [evil cackle] - [gasps]
- YOU...YOU--
- YES, DEAR. ME.
- HOW'D YOU ALL LIKE MY MOON CAKES?
- UGH.
- EW! THAT'S DISGUSTING.
BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
ONE BITE IS ENOUGH TO DESTROY YOUR MOTOR SKILLS.
[evil laugh]
YOU BANISHED ME FROM THE VALLEY,
BUT NOW I GET MY REVENGE!
- HEY!
- BY THE WAY,
YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS IN THAT COSTUME!
[laughs]
- HUH! OH! OOH!
WHOA! AH.
UH!
OOH!
- [laughs]
- [groans]
SO DIZZY...I--
[dizzy noises]
AIM OVER THERE,
HIT OVER HERE.
- OH!
- WH--
[fighting noises]
[groans]
YOU--YOU CAN FIGHT ME?
HOW?
- IT'S CALLED DIZZY KUNG FU.
MADE IT UP MYSELF.
- PO!
- DAD!
I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!
- [growls] AH!
- AND I WANT YOU TO BE THE DRAGON WARRIOR!
- HUH?
[fighting noises]
- WHOA!
[groans]
- SCORPION, YOU'RE A VILLAINOUS, EVIL, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND,
AND I THINK WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
- [groans]
- SEE, WHAT'S MORE FUN THAN SPENDING TIME TOGETHER, PO?
MAKING 2,700 ANTIDOTE-FILLED NOODLES.
OH, BOY. OH, BOY. OH, BOY.
AND WITH A BRAND-NEW SPATULA!
- THIS IS GREAT, DAD.
AND BY THE WAY,
I THINK YOU HAVE SOME LADY ADMIRERS OVER THERE.
[giggling]
- THIS COULD BE A VERY GOOD DYNASTY.