- WA-CHA! HA! HUH! UNGH!
- AND NOW DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA:
LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
[gong rings]
- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS
* OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE
OOH! AH! UNGH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
- THE SACRED PEACH TREE OF HEAVENLY WISDOM
HAS OVERLOOKED THE VALLEY OF PEACE FOR CENTURIES.
BUT FOR MUCH OF THAT TIME,
THE VALLEY WAS ANYTHING BUT PEACEFUL.
[wind rustling]
DEMONS OF THE UNDERWORLD RULED,
AND ANYONE WHO DARED ENTER THEIR VALLEY
WAS DRIVEN OFF...OR WORSE.
UNTIL THE DAY CAME WHEN SOMEONE DARED
TO STAND AGAINST THE DEMONS,
A YOUNG TORTOISE NAMED OOGWAY.
WHAT NONE OF US KNEW WAS THAT WITHIN OOGWAY
BURNED A POWERFUL LIFE FORCE.
A GIFT FROM THE UNIVERSE BESTOWED ONCE EVERY GENERATION--
THE HERO'S QI.
[energy zaps, demons growl]
[energy zaps]
OOGWAY WAS ABLE TO DRIVE THE DEMONS
BACK TO THE UNDERWORLD
AND USE HIS HERO'S QI
TO SEAL THE WAY BEHIND.
[rumbling]
[shimmering tone]
[fireworks bursting]
BUT ONE DEMON REMAINED,
STRONGER, SMARTER, AND FASTER THAN THE OTHERS.
HIS NAME...
KE-PA.
THIRSTING FOR VENGEANCE,
KE-PA RELENTLESSLY ATTACKED EXHAUSTED OOGWAY.
AT LAST, THE DEMON WAS READY TO STRIKE
THE FINAL, FATAL BLOW.
AT THAT MOMENT, HOWEVER, SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED.
AS OOGWAY HAD PROTECTED THE VALLEY OF PEACE,
THE PEACH TREE NOW PROTECTED OOGWAY.
THE POWERS OF HEAVEN AND EARTH BLASTED FORTH FROM THE TREE,
OVERCOMING KE-PA'S DEMON POWER.
[explosion]
STRIPPED OF HIS MIGHT,
KE-PA SWORE REVENGE AND FLED,
THE POWER OF THE PEACH TREE KEEPING HIM TRAPPED
IN A MORTAL BODY--
THE BODY OF A PIG.
- WELL, HANG ON A SECOND.
YOU'RE KE-PA?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
[slurps quietly]
[laughter]
[ominous music]
*
- [scatting]
[vocalizing]
- YOU'RE THE BEST, DRAGON WARRIOR.
- [scatting]
- OOH! THANK YOU, PO. - WHOO!
[scatting]
[gasps]
ARE THEY HERE YET?
- MM-MM.
- [scatting]
- [panting]
- PO! TEST US!
- OKAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HARD ONE THIS TIME.
I DIDN'T CROSS THE HINTERLANDS OF JAO DZUH...
- OOH.
THAT'S YOU BEATING TEMUTAI
WITH AN IMPROVISED FIGHTING STYLE
BASED ON YOUR TEMPESTUOUS FRIENDSHIP
WITH PRINCESS MEI LI.
- ODDLY SPECIFIC, BUT YES!
- HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!
- LATER, GUYS!
GOTS TO DO WHAT I DOES.
[giggling]
- [scatting]
- [groans] [coins clinking]
- SEE, GUYS? THAT'S HOW YOU DO A ROBBERY.
QUICK AND PAINLESS. [laughs]
- WOULDN'T BE TOO SURE ABOUT THE "PAINLESS" PART.
- DARN IT!
GAH! AAH!
- [screams] - [groans]
- * KICKEDY LAK-DA! PUNCHEDY WHACK-AH! *
- [groans]
- ARE THEY HERE NOW? - MM-MM.
- [groans]
[grunting]
- OW.
- [groans]
[all groan]
- OOH.
- YOU'RE THE PANDA, PO!
[laughs] YOU OKAY?
- [high-pitched] FINE.
[grunts, sighs]
[weakly scatting]
[scatting loudly]
THEY GOTTA BE HERE NOW.
- SORRY, DRAGON WARRIOR.
- GAH!
- WILL YOU SIGN MY CHEST?
- JUST LOOK AT HIM MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF.
[landing blows]
- PO'S JUST HAVING FUN.
WHY SHOULDN'T HE ENJOY THE ATTENTION?
[groans]
- BY GETTING CAUGHT UP IN BEING THE DRAGON WARRIOR,
PO IS LOSING SIGHT OF WHAT MADE HIM THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
[wind rustling]
HUH?
[mysterious humming] [groans]
- MASTER SHIFU!
- I THOUGHT WE'D HAVE MORE TIME.
THE TREE!
[landing blow] - [groans]
[laughter]
[groans] - HMPH.
LOOKS LIKE THE KING OF THE DEMONS
ISN'T SO TOUGH.
[wind rustles]
[ominous music]
- [deeper voice] THE TREE.
IT'S DYING.
[indistinct chatter, cheering]
- AND I CALL THIS ONE THE TWO BUNS OF GRANITE!
[metallic clanking] all: OOH.
- [gasps]
- PO, THEY'RE HERE!
THEY'RE HERE!
- [gasps]
SWEET!
[gasps]
[shudders]
I'VE WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS ONE MOMENT.
AND NOW, IT'S FINALLY HERE!
[crowd gasps]
MY OWN OFFICIALLY LICENSED,
FACTORY-MADE, MINT CONDITION
DRAGON WARRIOR ACTION FIGURES WITH SEAM!
LOOK AT ME.
I'M AWESOME.
[cheers]
- HE IS PRETTY AWESOME.
- THEN WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?
GAH!
- I GOTTA GO SHOW THESE TO SHIFU AND THE GUYS!
[cheering]
[vocalizing]
- I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
- GUYS! GUYS!
YOU GOTTA SEE THESE AND--
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEACH TREE?
- IT'S DYING.
BUT I ASSUME YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT,
WHAT WITH ALL THE MEDITATING YOU SAID
YOU'VE BEEN DOING UP HERE.
- UH, MAY HAVE SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED
THE AMOUNT OF SAID MEDITATIONAGE.
- I GUESS YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY
CATERING TO YOUR ADORING FANS.
- WELL, PEOPLE LOVES THEMSELVES SOME DRAGON WARRIOR, SO--
OH, OH, OH! TOTALLY FORGOT!
I FINALLY ACHIEVED MY NUMBER ONE DREAM!
- HUMILITY?
- IT'S ME! [clatters]
HEY!
I MEAN, SURE,
IT'S NOT AN EXACT LIKENESS,
BUT, I MEAN-- - LEAVE US.
YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
- GUYS?
WHERE ARE THEY GOING?
- TO PREPARE THE ANTIQUITIES
OF THE JADE PALACE FOR TRANSPORT.
- WH--WHY?
- THE KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM WITHIN MUST ENDURE
IN CASE WE ARE UNABLE TO STOP HIM.
- STOP WHO?
[landing blow, thud]
[wood splintering]
- I FEEL...GOOD.
IT'S STARTING TO RETURN TO ME.
WHEN THE TREE DIES, I'LL BE BACK TO MY FULL POWER.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
THE DEMONS SHALL RECLAIM THE LAND
THAT WAS STOLEN FROM US.
WE SHALL CONQUER THE VALLEY OF PEACE,
THEN ALL OF CHINA, AND FINALLY,
THE WORLD.
- WHO--
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
[indistinct chatter]
- SHIFU.
WHOA, WHA-- WAIT, WILL YOU?
EXCUSE ME, THAT-- [pot shatters]
OH! - [gasps]
- HANG ON!
- WHAT IS IT?
- SINCE WHEN DO WE RUN AWAY FROM A FIGHT?
- WE'VE NEVER CONFRONTED A FOE AS POWERFUL AS KE-PA.
BUT I ASSUME YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT,
WHAT WITH ALL THE STUDYING OF THE SACRED SCROLLS
YOU SAID YOU'VE BEEN DOING.
- OKAY, MAYBE I'VE BEEN SLACKING OFF
ON MY MEDITATING AND STUDYING AND TRAINING,
BUT THERE'S MORE TO BEING THE DRAGON WARRIOR
THAN ALL THAT STUFF.
- LIKE WHAT?
- YOU SAW THE ACTION FIGURES, RIGHT?
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING A SMIDGE?
WE'VE NEVER FOUGHT ANYONE LIKE KE-PA?
WELL, KE-PA'S NEVER FOUGHT ANYONE LIKE ME.
I'LL BE ALL, "WAHH!"
AND HE'LL BE ALL, "WHOA, OOH!"
- PO.
- I'LL BE ALL, LIKE...
[shrieking energetically]
AND HE'LL BE, LIKE... [painful groans]
- PO! [figurine clatters]
- GREAT TIME TO BE PLAYING WITH DOLLS.
WHAT'S NEXT, MASTER SHIFU?
- HEY! [figuring shatters]
- SINCE KE-PA IS MOST LIKELY ON HIS WAY
TO FREE THE OTHER DEMONS, WE HAVE TO--
- HANG ON.
IF THIS GUY WANTS TO FREE THE DEMONS,
WON'T HE GO TO THAT MOUNTAIN OOGWAY SEALED UP?
- DON'T YOU STUDY AT ALL?
- OOGWAY BUILT THE JADE PALACE
ON TOP OF THE SEAL TO KEEP IT SAFE.
- WHAT? THE DEMONS ARE HERE?
- YOU'LL ALL HEAD OUT IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
OUR ONLY HOPE IS THAT ONE OF YOU
INTERCEPTS KE-PA BEFORE THE PEACH TREE DIES
AND HE REACHES HIS FULL STRENGTH.
BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO FIGHT HIM ALONE.
ONLY AS A GROUP WILL WE HAVE A CHANCE.
SOUND YOUR HORN SHOULD YOU FIND HIM,
AND THE REST OF US WILL COME RUNNING.
OR FLYING.
OH! THEY KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
NOW GO!
PANDA!
NOT YOU. - HUH?
- I NEED YOU TO GO TELL THE VILLAGERS
TO PACK UP AND RUN FOR THEIR LIVES.
MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND EVEN THE DRAGON WARRIOR
IS NO MATCH FOR KE-PA.
- UH, ISN'T THAT KIND OF BAD FOR MY IMAGE?
I MEAN-- - THIS ISN'T A JOKE, PANDA!
DO YOU THINK I GIVE A FLYING FIG
ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS IMAGE?
- FIG?
THIS KE-PA CAN'T BE ALL THAT TOUGH,
OTHERWISE SHIFU WOULD'VE SENT ME WITH THE OTHERS.
- UH, PO? OH, PO.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND THE NOODLE SHOP LATELY.
BE GREAT IF YOU COULD COME BY AND SHAKE SOME HOOVES.
- MAY HAVE TO PUT THAT ON HOLD, DAD.
EVERYBODY!
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!
- YEAH! - OOH!
- IS IT THE STORY OF HOW YOU BEAT TAI LUNG?
- OH, NO!
TELL ABOUT WHEN YOU DEFEATED LORD SHEN!
- NO, NO, NO. THOSE WERE PRETTY COOL, BUT--
- PRETTY COOL? YOU NEVER LOSE, PO.
YOU BEAT HUNDUN... [cheering]
SCORPION. [cheering]
- FUNG AND THE CROC BANDITS!
[cheering reluctantly]
- HUH? I GUESS I KIND OF HAVEN'T EVER LOST
TO ANYONE.
THAT IS SO COOL.
- OH, VERY COOL.
SO WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL US, PO?
- OH. UH, YOU ALL HAVE TO KNOW...
- YES?
- YOU HAVE TO KNOW...
UM...
[suspenseful music]
THAT WHENEVER EVIL SHOULD REAR ITS UGLY EVILLY HEAD,
YOUR UNBEATABLE DRAGON WARRIOR WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!
[cheering]
- ISN'T ANYONE GOING TO WELCOME KE-PA?
- KE-PA?
WAIT. YOU'RE KE-PA?
- IN THE FLESH. SUCH AS IT IS.
- [chuckles]
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[laughs]
I REALLY THOUGHT THAT-- [laughs]
GET THIS GUY. HE SAYS HE'S KE-PA.
[laughter]
- [laughs] WHO'S KE-PA?
- YOU KNOW, FOR A SECOND, I--
[shouts]
[groans]
[all gasp]
OKAY, WASN'T QUITE READY THERE.
BUT NOW IT'S MY TURN.
[crowd cheering] YEEHAW!
[grunting]
- [groans]
[all cheering]
- WHOA!
- WHAT?
NO MORE TITTERS?
NO TEE-HEES?
GUFFAWS?
NOT A CHORTLE TO BE HAD?
- [short chuckle]
SORRY.
SOMETIMES I LAUGH WHEN I GET NERVOUS.
[giggles]
- OKAY.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SURRENDER.
- I APPRECIATE THE OFFER,
BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PASS.
[whooshing air] - WHOA!
OH! OOH.
[panting]
[screams]
- "DRAGON WARRIOR." IT'S KIND OF CATCHY.
MUST REMEMBER THAT.
IF YOU'LL ALL EXCUSE ME,
I'M JUST GOING TO RUN UPSTAIRS
AND SEE SOME OLD FRIENDS.
- TAKE YOUR TIME, GUY.
- OH, I'LL BE BACK.
AND THEN WE CAN GET DOWN TO THE REAL FUN.
- SERIOUSLY, GUY,
TAKE YOUR TIME.
- OH, SON, ARE YOU OKAY? WAKE UP.
- [groaning]
WHERE'S KE-PA?
- HE SAID HE HAD TO RUN UPSTAIRS.
- [gasps] THE TREE!
- JUST HOLD ON FOR A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
- TALKING TO A TREE?
YOU NEED SERIOUS HELP.
- KE-PA!
[grunts]
- FINALLY, SOMEONE RECOGNIZES ME.
YA!
SO, TREE, YOU REALLY ARE DYING.
- [blows horn]
- HUH?
- [gasps]
- DON'T ANY OF YOU KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP?
- NOT REALLY OUR THING.
NOW PUT MY MASTER DOWN BEFORE YOU MAKE ME MAD.
- OOH. WOULDN'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN.
- [groans]
- I THINK YOU AND I GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.
I TELL YOU WHAT.
TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT,
AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.
- PO!
- [shouts] - DON'T!
- [grunts] - [groans]
- [gasps] - [gasps]
- HMM.
OOPSY.
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
- UH-OH.
[rumbling]
[ominous music]
*
[cracking sounds]
[sinister laugh]
[sparks crackle]
[deep electrical hum]
- WOW!
WE BEAT HIM!
[scatting]
- PANDA. - I MEAN, YEAH.
TECHNICALLY HE FELL OFF A CLIFF, BUT WE STILL WON.
- PANDA. - ANOTHER BIG VICTORY
FOR THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- PO, IT ISN'T OVER.
- [growling]
[deep rumbling]
[growls]
[horn squeaks weakly]
- BEHOLD!
THE REAL DRAGON WARRIOR!
- NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
- [screams]
HOT BUTT! HOT BUTT!
HOT BUTT!
[groaning]
[exhales]
WHERE'D HE GO?
- THE JADE PALACE.
NO!
- WHO BLEW THEIR HORN? - NO BLOW HERE.
- WASN'T ME. - NOT ME.
- WHERE ARE SHIFU AND PO?
- GET OUTTA THERE! - HEY!
- LOOK! BY THE PEACH TREE!
[Po and Shifu shouting in distance]
- HI!
GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO!
THEY'RE IN A CHIPPER MOOD.
[distant shouting] - HEY! KE-PA'S COMING!
KE-PA'S COMING!
- KE-PA IS HERE.
[thunderclap]
JUMP!
[screams]
[explosion] both: AAH!
- [coughs] NO.
- [coughs]
NO!
GUYS?
WHERE ARE THEY? CAN YOU SEE THEM?
[distant shouting, groaning]
- THERE THEY ARE!
[ominous music]
*
[rumbling]
- AND NOW,
IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH THE DEMONS' FURY
UPON THE WORLD.
[straining]
OOGWAY REALLY GOT THIS ON TIGHT.
[force field hums]
HMM.
OF COURSE.
OOGWAY SEALED IT WITH HIS HERO'S QI.
SO I MUST NEED THE HERO'S QI TO UNSEAL IT.
HMM.
- GUYS!
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? [ground rumbling]
- NOT FOR LONG!
- WHERE IS THE HERO'S QI?
- AND REMAIN CALM!
MY SON, THE DRAGON WARRIOR, WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO!
- RUN!
[all screaming]
[explosion]
[frightened screams]
- [growls]
- WORK TOGETHER, WILL YOU?
[screams]
[grunts]
ALL RIGHT!
NOW I CAN--- DARN IT!
- MONKEY, SHORE UP THAT WALL!
- [evil laugh]
- NO!
[explosion]
- HOW EXCITING WAS THAT?
WE'LL GET RIGHT TO BUSINESS.
I NEED THE HERO'S QI.
AND FROM WHAT I KNOW ABOUT QI AND BALANCE
AND HARMONY, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
IS THAT WHEN OOGWAY LEFT,
THE UNIVERSE PASSED THE HERO'S QI
TO ONE OF YOU.
- EVEN IF WE KNEW, WE'D NEVER TELL YOU.
- OH, I THINK YOU WILL.
BECAUSE OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO START GOBBLING UP VILLAGERS
BY THE CLAWFUL.
[all gasping]
- PANDA! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO EVACUATE THE VILLAGE.
- UH, YEAH.
UM, WHEN I SAW KE-PA GET TO THE VILLAGE, I--
- YOU SAW HIM HERE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOW THE WARNING HORN?
- OH, WELL, UH, HE WAS A PIG,
SO I JUST THOUGHT--
I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE IT. - OOPSY.
ONE OF OUR HEROES ISN'T SOUNDING ALL THAT HEROIC.
- HE'S NO HERO.
HE'S A SELF-CENTERED LOUT
WHO PUTS HIS OWN EGO AHEAD
OF THOSE THAT DEPEND ON HIM!
- HEY! THAT'S NOT--
- REALLY HATE GETTING IN THE MIDDLE
OF A FAMILY SQUABBLE HERE,
BUT I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE!
- I AM THE MASTER OF THE JADE PALACE.
I HAVE WHAT YOU SEEK.
[groans]
- SHIFU!
- I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY!
THE LIVES OF EVERYONE HERE ARE IN DANGER BECAUSE OF YOU!
- BUT-- - LEAVE!
YOU'RE OF NO USE TO ANY OF US!
- OH, A CHANCE TO WATCH YOU FLEE YOUR OWN VILLAGE,
DRENCHED IN SHAME--
I LOVE IT.
[melancholy music]
*
[clattering]
- PO!
SON, SON, WAIT FOR ME!
WAIT, WAIT!
- ALL NOW BOW DOWN TO ME,
YOUR NEW DRAGON WARRIOR.
[evil laugh]