- WA-CHA! HI-YAAH!
male announcer: AND NOW
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong rings]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
- HUNH! - CAN'T TOUCH THIS!
- [grunting]
- WHOA! NOPE, STILL CAN'T.
- [grunts] - WHA-TA!
- AH!
[both grunting]
WHOA!
- WHA-TA! - UNH!
[grunts] WHAT?
- WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO'S JUST BEAT THE UNBEATABLE TIGRESS.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, I DID! SAY IT. I RULE!
- [pained grunts]
YOU GOT LUCKY.
[grunting]
- [slurps, belches]
- [grunting]
UNH!
THREE OUT OF FIVE.
[grunts] FIVE OUT OF NINE.
18 OUT OF 35.
76 OUT OF 151!
[grunting]
- [laughs] I'M STARTING TO FEEL KINDA BAD.
EXCEPT I'M NOT, AT ALL.
- I ADMIT, YOUR KUNG FU SKILLS HAVE IMPROVED.
BUT I'LL STILL BEST YOU IN ANY CONTEST OF STRENGTH.
[grunts]
- SAY IT. I RULE.
- [grunts]
- GAH! - HUH?
- THIS IS SURPRISINGLY LIGHT.
AAH!
[laughs] LOOK AT THAT.
BETTER AT KUNG FU, STRONGER.
THE DRAGON WARRIOR IS ON FIRE TODAY!
- [growls] - WHOA, AND SO ARE YOU.
THINK I'LL JUST GLOAT OVER HERE.
[thud]
- [growls]
THINK YOU'RE STRONGER NOW? [grunting]
YAH! [panting]
HOW ABOUT NOW?
- UM... - HEY, TIGRESS.
- ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
- LIKE BEING JEALOUS OF PO, FOR STARTERS.
- I AM NOT JEALOUS OF PO!
I'M JUST...KIND OF...
JEALOUS OF PO.
- COME ON, TIGRESS, YOUR FRUSTRATION
IS JUST CLOUDING YOUR FOCUS.
YOU'RE STILL WAY BETTER THAN PO AT...
UM, ALL KINDS OF THINGS.
- NAME ONE.
- WELL...UH...
- [sighs]
IT'S TIME FOR THIS WARRIOR TO FACE THE UGLY TRUTH.
PO HAS BECOME...
BETTER THAN ME AT EVERYTHING.
- WHO'D HAVE THUNK IT? - NOT PO.
THAT WOULD REQUIRE A LITTLE CONCENTRATION.
THAT'S IT! CONCENTRATION!
- AND THAT, PO, IS THE MEANING OF LIFE.
- WOW, SOMETHING TO PONDER. [chuckles] A LOT.
THANKS, MASTER SHIFU. - KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
ALL THAT TRAINING IS REALLY STARTING TO PAY OFF.
- [sighs]
I'M SORRY, DID I INTERRUPT YOUR DAILY CHASTISING?
- DAILY PRAISING.
HAVEN'T HAD A CHASTISING IN WEEKS.
I GUESS I'M JUST ROCKIN' THE NEW,
SUDDENLY-BETTER-AT-MOST-STUFF- THAN-YOU PO.
- YOUR KUNG FU HAS IMPROVED, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR MENTAL ACUITY?
- WE'LL SEE.
RIGHT AFTER YOU EXPLAIN WHAT "ACUITY" MEANS.
- CONCENTRATION. FOCUS.
- OOH! OOH! LIKE AN INTENSE GAME OF,
"WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?"
IT'S FOUR! IS IT FOUR?
NINE! ELEVENTY? DID I SAY FOUR?
- PO!
- FINE. THREE? NOT THREE.
OKAY. HOW?
- WELL, SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
CONTROLLING SHIFU'S MEDITATION BALLS WITH MY MIND.
- YEAH, BUT DO WE HAVE PERMISSION TO--
- [grunts]
- IS SOMETHING SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?
[shimmering tone]
WHOA! YOU ARE GOOD!
- I--I'M NOT DOING IT! - THEN HOW ARE THEY--
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
- AAH!
both: OW!
- OH! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?
[grunts]
- [gasps]
PO, WHAT DID YOU DO? I THOUGHT--
I THOUGHT YOU'D EMBRACED YOUR DRAGON WARRIOR-NESS,
AND LEFT THIS SORT OF FOLLY BEHIND.
- WELL, I--
- IT WASN'T PO, MASTER.
IT WAS ME.
- [sighs] LEAVE US.
- UH, ME? OR--
DON'T WORRY, TIGRESS.
DRAGON WARRIOR KNOWS HOW TO FIX STUFF.
CHA!
- TIGRESS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COME OVER YOU.
THOSE WEREN'T JUST ANY MEDITATION BALLS.
THEY'RE IRREPLACEABLE SPIRIT ORBS.
ARTIFACTS OF THE TERRIBLE EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE LONG AGO,
HIGH ATOP MUGU MOUNTAIN.
THE ORBS BELONGED TO DING, A KUNG FU STUDENT.
THEY GAVE HIM A MENTAL FOCUS UNLIKE ANY BEFORE.
MASTER OOGWAY SENT HIM TO STUDY
WITH THE KUNG FU MONKS AT MUGU MOUNTAIN.
BUT DING WAS IMPATIENT AND TURNED ON HIS TEACHERS.
CONTROLLING THE SPIRIT ORBS WITH PURE MENTAL FOCUS,
HE COULD POSSESS PEOPLE AND OBJECTS.
[shimmering tone]
HE PENETRATED THE MONKS' MINDS
AND DROVE THEM TO THEIR DEMISE.
BEFORE DING COULD CONTROL THE VALLEY OF PEACE,
THE JADE PALACE MASTERS PUT A STOP TO HIM.
- UNH!
- THEY IMPRISONED HIM ON MUGU MOUNTAIN...
FOR ETERNITY.
- NO!
- WITHOUT HIS ORBS, DING WAS POWERLESS.
AND ACCORDING TO LEGEND,
HIS ANGRY SPIRIT IS STILL TRAPPED INSIDE THE CASTLE.
EVER SINCE, THE SPIRIT ORBS HAVE BEEN KEPT SAFELY HERE.
IF THEY RETURN TO MASTER DING, HE WILL REGAIN HIS EVIL POWER.
- CRISIS AVERTED! I GOT THE SPINNY BALLS BACK!
- WELL, TIGRESS, LUCKY FOR YOU,
THE DRAGON WARRIOR IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.
WELL DONE, PO.
TIGRESS, TRY NOT TO BE SO CARELESS.
- THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY YOU CAUGHT THOSE FLYING ORBS.
ARE THOSE...LYCHEE NUTS?
- NO. [chuckles]
OKAY, CLOSE.
THEY'RE SILVER-PAINTED LYCHEE NUTS.
PRETTY CLEVER, HUH?
- THAT'S NOT GOING TO FOOL SHIFU.
WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THOSE ORBS AWAY FROM MASTER DING.
- REALLY?
- NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GET TO MUGU MOUNTAIN.
- [gulps]
[thunder rumbling]
- OOH. HOW LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, OLD FRIENDS.
I DO HOPE THIS MEANS SOMEONE WILL BE COMING FOR YOU.
AND WHEN THEY DO, THEY SHALL PAY...
WITH THEIR LIVES!
[laughs]
- THERE IT IS. DING'S PRISON CASTLE.
[thunder rumbling]
- LOOKS A LITTLE OOKY SPOOKY.
- FRIGHTENED? - WHAT? ME?
[scoffs] NO, I-- I MEAN, GOOD OOKY SPOOKY.
YOU SHOULD STAY CLOSE SO I CAN PROTECT YOU
WITH MY DRAGON WARRIOR POWER.
[thunder rumbling] AAH!
- UNH!
- [chuckles] IT'S A LITTLE DANK,
BUT NOTHING A HOUSE FIRE WOULDN'T FIX.
[clattering]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- MUST'VE BEEN THE WIND.
[crackling]
- [gasps]
TIGRESS!
AND ANOTHER SAVE FOR THE PO-MAN!
- YOU COULD TRY IT WITHOUT GLOATING.
- HEY, GLOATING'S ALL I GOT.
- [evil laugh]
- OKAY, THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE WIND.
THIS PLACE IS REALLY HAUNTED!
[shimmering tone]
- HI-YAA!
YOU WANT TO PLAY, GHOST?
[grunts]
- I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT AS A YES.
- [evil laugh]
- THE ORBS! - TIGRESS!
- [grunts]
[crashing]
- HO-HO!
AND THE DRAGON WARRIOR DOES IT AGAIN!
ONE MORE SAVE FOR--OW!
[groans]
HEY, THE BALL THINGIES!
- I'LL GO LEFT.
- GOT IT.
[panting]
HUH?
[groans] THE OLD DEAD END HALLWAY TRICK.
WELL PLAYED, GHOST CASTLE. WELL PLAYED.
PROBABLY JUST AN INVISIBLE BARRIER.
[grunts]
OW!
OR IT'S JUST A WALL NEXT TO A DOOR.
- I SUSPECT YOU'RE TIRED OF PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE
TO THAT PANDA.
HIS SKILL IS IMPRESSIVE.
BUT I CAN MAKE YOU MORE POWERFUL
THAN A THOUSAND DRAGON WARRIORS.
YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
- YES. I MEAN, NO. I DON'T KNOW.
- BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I'M MERELY USING YOU AS BAIT TO SNAG--
- TIGRESS!
- HUH? WHAT AM I--PO!
- YOU CAN'T WIN.
- YEAH, THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
- AH!
- HA!
HUAH! AH!
OW!
[groans]
[shouts]
- MASTER DING?
- IN THE FLESH. WELL, GHOST FLESH.
- WE WANT THE ORBS.
- NOT AS MUCH AS I DO.
- HA!
OH!
- [laughs] I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR CENTURIES TO UNLEASH
MY WRATH ON THE VALLEY OF PEACE.
THANKS TO YOU, MY TIME HAS COME.
- [growls]
NOT LIKELY, DING.
YOUR SPIRIT IS STILL TRAPPED IN THIS CASTLE.
- YEAH, TO BREAK FREE YOU'D HAVE TO POSSESS THE BODY
OF A LIVING CREATURE.
WHERE YOU GOING TO GET ONE OF THOSE?
- [laughs]
- OH.
AAH! WHOA!
[grunting, screaming]
- PO!
PO?
- [Ding laughs] - WHA--
- [Ding's voice] I'D FORGOTTEN WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE MORTAL.
IT FEELS...SILLIER THAN I REMEMBER.
- THAT'S JUST PO. LET HIM GO.
- [laughs]
WHILE YOU ROT HERE,
I SHALL WREAK HORRIBLE VENGEANCE ON THOSE WHO IMPRISONED ME.
- [growls] - [laughs]
[sniffs] FREEDOM AT LAST.
[laughs]
- NO!
[straining grunts]
[panting]
THE ORBS.
[groans]
COME ON, TIGRESS.
[shimmering tone]
CONCENTRATE.
[magical humming]
YES!
- [inhales] AHH.
[joints cracking]
AND NOW TO-- - NOW TO WHAT?
- THE SPIRIT ORBS? IMPOSSIBLE. HOW?
- MENTAL FOCUS IS KIND OF MY THING.
NOW LET PO GO.
- I DON'T THINK SO.
[both grunting]
- IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT?
- YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!
I AM BEYOND THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- AH!
- I AM IN CONTROL.
I HAVE HIS SKILLS.
- OW! AH!
- I HAVE HIS MIND.
[grunts]
- THE MIND THING? NOT SO GOOD.
- [pained groans]
- WHAT? WHERE AM I?
- TIGRESS!
YOU'RE IN MY MIND.
- DEFINITELY COULDN'T BE ANYONE ELSE'S.
- HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE? - SAME WAY AS MASTER DING.
SUPERIOR MENTAL PROWESS.
- AND THE SPINNY BALL THINGIES?
- YES, PO. I USED THE SPINNY BALL THINGIES.
NOW LET'S SET YOU FREE.
[grunts]
[electricity crackling]
[thud]
- WOW, HE'S BIG.
- NICE TRY, BUT AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'M SIPHONING HIS VERY ESSENCE AS WE SPEAK.
- PO, YOU'RE FADING.
- BEEN MEANING TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT...
- SOON, HE'LL FADE COMPLETELY.
HE WON'T EVEN BE A MEMORY IN YOUR OWN MIND.
[laughs]
- LAUGH AT THIS.
[grunts]
- [laughs]
- UNH!
YOU WANT TO PLAY MIND GAMES? I'M YOUR TIGER.
[both grunting]
AH!
- [laughs]
- PO, AS MUCH AS I HATE TO SAY THIS,
I CAN'T HOLD HIM OFF ALONE.
- [grunts] I CAN'T!
- YES, YOU CAN.
IT'S YOUR MIND THAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK.
CONCENTRATE!
- THAT'S ASKING A LOT.
- YOU'RE THE DRAGON WARRIOR. YOU CAN MASTER ANYTHING.
- NOT BRAIN STUFF.
- FOCUS!
[grunts]
- [grunting]
AAH! - LOOK OUT!
YOUR COLOR'S COMING BACK.
- IT IS? IT IS!
- YOU GO LOW. I'LL GO HIGH.
- WA-CHA!
[all grunting]
[Ding's voice] I'VE GOT YOUR BODY!
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT BACK!
[muttering]
[Po's voice] OH, YEAH?
WELL, NOW I'VE GOT IT BACK! OW!
[Tigress's voice] I'M IN CONTROL.
I'M--EW, EW.
OKAY, THIS IS WEIRD. SOMEBODY ELSE TAKE CONTROL.
[grunts]
- OH!
- PO, YOU CAN CONTROL ANYTHING IN HERE.
FOCUS. USE YOUR NOODLE.
- OKAY. [grunting]
- YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME WITH A NOODLE.
- OF COURSE NOT.
I'M GONNA DEFEAT YOU WITH DUMPLINGS.
- [grunts] - AH!
- WITH A SIDE ORDER OF KUNG FU!
WA-TA! - HI-YAAH!
- [screams]
- I DON'T SUPPOSE THAT'S HOW I HAVE TO LEAVE.
- NO, NO. YOU CAN USE THAT DOOR.
- NICE.
I'M SORRY, PO.
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET MY JEALOUSY GET THE BEST OF ME.
- GOT TO ADMIT, I COULD HAVE BEEN
A TEENY BIT LESS GLOATY SHOWBOATY.
- YOU HAVE YOUR STRENGTHS AND I HAVE MINE.
- ABSOLUTELY!
PLUS, IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, I WOULD HAVE EVAPORATED
IN MY OWN HEAD.
THANK YOU, MASTER TIGRESS.
ANYWAY, IT ALL WORKED OUT, AND SHIFU NEVER DISCOVERED
OUR LITTLE RUSE.
- SILVER-PAINTED LYCHEE NUTS?
- [chuckles]
WELL, SINCE WE GOT SOME TIME HERE,
MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME WORK ON MY MENTAL ACUITY SKILLS.
- SURE. HOW ABOUT AN AWARENESS LESSON?
- OOH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!
WHOA-OH-OH!
OW!
- LESSON ONE: WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, EXPECT IT.
READY FOR LESSON TWO? - NO THANKS.
I THINK I'LL JUST BE AWARE OF MY PAIN.