- WA-CHA! HIYAH!
male announcer: AND NOW
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong rings]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
[gentle music]
*
[PO playing on chimes]
*
- OKAY, CRANIAC, NAME THAT TRADITIONAL FOLK TUNE.
- PO, I DON'T WANNA PLAY.
- AW, BUT GUARDING THE IMPERIAL PAYROLL IS SO BORING.
COME ON, TAKE A GUESS.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. PLEASE.
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
- WRONG! [buzzer noise]
THE ANSWER IS THE HAPPY POLE CARRYING SONG.
POINT PO.
ROUND TWO. - [plays plinking notes]
[brush rustles]
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- IT'S CALLED THE BOK CHOY BOAT HOUSE.
MAN, YOU STINK AT THIS.
- PO, CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS?
YOU HEARD SHIFU.
THIS ROAD'S BEEN PLAGUED BY AN UNSEEN MENACE
WHO STRIKES LIKE LIGHTNING AND LEAVES CARNAGE IN HIS WAKE.
- RIGHT. AND I DO HATE IT
WHEN CARNAGE IS LEFT IN A WAKE-LIKE FASHION.
- RELAX, CRANE.
MY AWESOMENESS IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO INTIMIDATE ANY THIEF.
- LOOK, IT'S THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- HE'S SO AWESOME. - AND INTIMIDATING!
- READY FOR ROUND THREE? [plays plinking notes]
- OOF! - IT'S AN AMBUSH!
- NO, IT'S A POWER BALLAD.
- UGH!
PO! - HUH--AGH!
- OOF! - AHH!
[coins jingle]
- [gasps] THE GOLD!
OKAY, UNSEEN WISE GUY.
YOU JUST GOT ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- DRAGON WARRIOR?
I'VE HEARD OF YOUR POWER,
BUT YOUR SKILL IS NO MATCH FOR MINE.
- THEN FACE ME AND WE'LL SETTLE THIS WARRIOR TO WARRIOR.
- SO BE IT, FOOL.
BONSAI!
- DID SOMEBODY THROW THIS?
UH, ARE YOU A CLAM?
- I AM KIRA KOZU OF THE KOZUMOTO CLAM CLAN.
- CLAM CLAN?
- CLAM CLAN.
- CLAM CLAN? - CLAM CLAN!
- [laughing] CLAM CLAN.
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
[belly laughs]
[all laugh]
- YOU DARE LAUGH AT KIRA KOZU?
PREPARE TO DIE.
- LOOK, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT FROM AROUND HERE SO--AHH!
[all gasp]
IT'S OKAY.
I GOT THIS.
- HIYA! - OW!
UGH! AHH!
OW! - YA!
- OOF! - HAI!
- [pained grunts]
OOF!
[groans]
OKAY, NOW I'M WARMED UP.
- HIYA!
HIYA!
- UGH.
- REMEMBER ME, ALL OF YOU.
AND YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR,
REMEMBER THE TASTE OF MY IRON CLAM FOOT.
BONSAI!
[thunder rumbles]
- HE HAD NO ARMS OR LEGS AND HE STILL BEAT THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- NO! - YES!
- A CLAM? SHAME. - I KNOW.
- WOW, PO.
IT MAY TAKE YOU A WHILE TO LIVE THIS ONE DOWN.
- THERE'S NOTHING TO LIVE DOWN.
MY AWESOMENESS IS STILL...AWESOME.
- PO, WERE YOU REALLY BEATEN UP BY A LITTLE CLAM?
- ARE YOU VERY EMBARRASSED?
'CAUSE I'D BE.
[scattered laughter]
- DON'T WORRY.
I'M SURE SHIFU WILL BE VERY UNDERSTANDING.
- A CLAM?
- IN PO'S DEFENSE, IT HAD A REALLY HARD SHELL.
- YEAH, A REALLY HARD, ITTY BITTY CLAM SHELL.
[all laugh]
- ENOUGH.
THIS IS THE FOURTH GOLD SHIPMENT STOLEN THIS MONTH.
YOUR REPORT SIMPLY CONFIRMS WHAT I'VE HEARD.
MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT THE BANDIT
IS FROM THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN: JAPAN.
- NEXT TIME WE MEET, I'M GONNA KICK HIS TINY BUTT BACK HOME.
[mimics explosion]
YEAH, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT CLAM AND HIS CLAN.
THERE'S A CLAM CLAN.
- THE JAPANESE ARE SENDING A GREAT WARRIOR.
ONE WHO KNOWS THIS VILLAIN WELL.
IT'LL BE OUR JOB TO ASSIST HIM WHEN HE ARRIVES.
- SHIFU, PLEASE!
IF I DON'T GET A CHANCE TO CRUSH THAT CLAM
I'LL NEVER GET MY REP BACK.
- THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU, PANDA SAN.
- SURE...
- I AM MASTER YIJIRO OF THE SAMURAI CLAN ISHIDA.
- IF BY LIFE OR DEATH I CAN AID YOU, I WILL.
HAI!
- HEY, MASTER JUMBO, NO OFFENSE,
BUT IF THE DRAGON WARRIOR CAN'T BEAT THIS CLAM,
YOU SURE AS HECK CAN'T. - PO.
- YOU DOUBT MY SKILL?
- TINY, I DOUBT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
- THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.
I DEMAND SATISFACTION!
HA! - [yelps]
- HIYA! - [yelps]
RELAX, RELAX, EVERYBODY.
I CAN HANDLE LITTLE MR. WHISKERS HERE.
- HA! - WAIT.
- [yelps] - YA!
- WHOA!
HA-HA!
YOU MISSED ME.
PRETTY LOUSY SWORDSMANSHIP.
- WAIT FOR IT, PANDA SAN.
- [shrieks] DRAFTY!
[screams] OOH!
- YOUR OVERCONFIDENCE IS UNSEEMLY FOR A WARRIOR.
- [yelps]
- THIS IS WHY KIRA BEAT YOU SO EASILY.
ALSO, YOU ARE VERY CHUBBY.
- DID YOU SEE THAT? - YES.
AND IT WAS AMAZING.
- I AM HONORED.
- ARE YOU BLUSHING? - NO!
- [groans] WHAT DID I MISS?
- MASTER YIJIRO, WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THIS THIEF?
- I'M AFRAID HE IS MUCH MORE THAN A THIEF.
WE SAMURAI LIVE BY A CODE OF HONOR AND SACRIFICE.
BUT ONE WARRIOR TURNED FROM THE PATH OF HONOR.
HE BECAME A RONIN, A ROGUE SAMURAI, NAMED KIRA KOZU.
USING STOLEN GOLD TO BUY SOLDIERS,
HE FORMED AN ARMY WHICH CAUSED
GREAT MISERY THROUGHOUT THE LAND.
WE MET IN GLORIOUS BATTLE.
KIRA'S ARMY WAS DEFEATED, GLORIOUSLY.
BUT HE ESCAPED AND FLED WEST TO CHINA.
ONCE AGAIN HE IS USING STOLEN GOLD TO RAISE ANOTHER ARMY.
ONE WHICH WILL LAY WASTE TO YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY.
- YEAH, HOW CAN YOU AND THE CLAM SURVIVE OUT OF THE WATER?
- SHEER FORCE OF WILL.
- 'KAY.
- IF KIRA IS RAISING AN ARMY-- I'LL ALERT THE IMPERIAL TROOPS.
- THAT WOULD BE WISE, SENSEI.
I WILL TAKE TWO WARRIORS WITH ME.
I WILL FIND HIS STRONGHOLD AND CONFRONT HIM.
- OKAY, FINE, YOU CAN COME ALONG, BUT STAY OUT OF MY WAY.
I GOT A FACE TO SAVE.
MINE.
- MY APOLOGIES, MASTER PO, BUT YOU HAVE MADE THIS PERSONAL.
THAT COULD BE FATAL IN COMBAT.
I WILL TAKE MASTER CRANE AND MASTER TIGRESS.
- WAIT, WHAT? - I AM DEEPLY HONORED.
- I COULD TELL WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU
THAT YOU WERE A WARRIOR OF STRENGTH, COURAGE, AND HONOR.
- AND ME TOO, RIGHT?
- IN FACT, WHILE I WAS HUMILIATING THE PANDA,
I QUICKLY COMPOSED A HAIKU IN YOUR HONOR.
FIGHTING WITH HONOR.
FOES FALLING LIKE LOTUS LEAVES.
DEATH, VIRTUE, AND DEATH.
- [swoons]
- UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, SAYONARA.
- MASTER SHIFU, YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO ON THIS MISSION.
MY DRAGON WARRIOR REPUTATION DEPENDS ON IT.
- GIVE IT UP, PO.
THIS IS NO LONGER YOUR BATTLE.
- OR IS IT?
- NO. IT'S NOT.
- OR IS IT?
- NO.
[soldiers murmuring]
[all grunt]
- I AM BUILDING AN ARMY.
ARE YOU IN?
[chuckles]
- THIS IS WHERE THAT CLAM JUMPED US.
- HE WILL BE CLOSE.
WE SHALL REST HERE
AND COMPOSE OUR SPIRITS BEFORE BATTLE.
- "COMPOSE THEIR SPIRITS?"
MAN, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO MAKE HITTING PEOPLE SO COMPLICATED?
- TIGRESS, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
THIS WILL BRING YOU GOOD FORTUNE IN WAR.
- GOT ONE FOR ME?
- IT SYMBOLIZES THE SPIRIT OF BUSHIDO,
THE CODE OF THE SAMURAI.
- [mocking] IT SYMBOLIZES BLAHBITTY
BLAHBITTY BLAH.
WHAT A SHOW OFF.
- I-I AM HONORED.
- DID YOU JUST HAVE A ROMANTIC DAYDREAM?
- NO!
- HOW CAN TIGRESS LIKE THAT PRAWN?
[branch cracks] UH-OH.
- THANK YOU, MASTER YIJIRO.
NOTHING COULD EVER DISTURB THE PURITY OF THIS ONE MOMENT.
UNH!
EXCEPT THAT.
- HI, PO.
- [grunts] - OOH!
- SHIFU ORDERED YOU TO STAY BEHIND?
DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SELF CONTROL? ANY HONOR?
- MY HONOR WAS STOLEN FROM ME BY A CLAM.
AND I'M GONNA GET IT BACK.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- YES, I AM! - NO Y--
- ENOUGH. THE PANDA CAN STAY.
- YES I--HUH? - YOU HAVE NO FEAR.
I RESPECT THAT.
BUT IF YOU HOPE TO DEFEAT KIRA...
YOU MUST LEARN TO SEE WITH EYES OF BUSHIDO.
- OOH, HOW DO I DO THAT?
UH, NOT THAT I NEED TO.
- YOU MUST SILENCE YOUR EGO.
COME AT ME.
- WITH PL--AHH!
- FOR A TRUE SAMURAI, THERE IS NO VILLAIN, NO HERO.
THERE IS ONLY THE BATTLE.
- BUT I-- - FORGET "I."
THERE IS NO "I."
THERE IS JUST WHAT MUST BE DONE.
AGAIN.
- HA--AHH!
- FOCUS NOT ON YOURSELF, BUT YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
AGAIN. - HWAW!
OOH! - SEE NOT WHAT YOU EXPECT.
SEE WHAT TRULY IS.
AGAIN. - UGH!
- CALM YOUR MIND.
AND YOU SPIRIT WILL FOLLOW.
AGAIN!
OOH! OW! OOF!
COME ON, I WANNA GET THAT CLAM.
- FORGET YOUR WANTS.
WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU DOES NOT MATTER.
AGAIN!
- [breathes deeply]
- HIYA!
HIYA! - OOF!
- YOU STARTED WELL, THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
- I-- - HO!
- BUT I-- - HAI!
- NO "I". RIGHT.
- YOU HAVE POTENTIAL, PANDA SAN, BUT YOU ARE NOT READY.
[marching footfalls, soldiers grunting]
- EACH DAY OUR NUMBERS SWELL.
- IT'S KIRA. HE'S HERE.
HIM AND HIS WHOLE CLAM CLAN.
OF...WATER BUFFALOS.
- SOON, ALL OF CHINA WILL BE OURS.
- THERE HE IS.
STUPID CLAM GUY.
- AND SO I ASK YOU, BRAVE WARRIORS,
WHO LIKES GOLD? [all cheer]
- IT SEEMS THAT WE WILL NEED YOUR HELP, PO SAN.
BUT REMEMBER, WE MUST DO THIS MY WAY.
NO EGO.
CRANE, YOU AND TIGRESS WILL DRAW OFF THE TROOPS.
I WILL FLANK.
AND THEN--PANDA SAN?
- CLAM!
- NO!
- WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
- THE PANDA!
HE'S BROUGHT HELP.
DESTROY THEM!
[sword being unsheathed]
YIJIRO.
THIS TIME I WILL DESTROY YOU.
- NOT SO, HONORLESS ONE.
- HA!
- KYAH!
YAH!
- [gasps]
- PO SAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- SORRY, YIJIRO, BUT HE'S MINE.
- WRONG, CHUBBY ONE.
YOU ARE BOTH MINE!
YA!
- [grunts]
- YIJIRO!
- AVENGE ME!
- NO!
- YIJIRO.
PO, YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM.
- BUT I--
- DESTROY THEM!
[all grunt]
- COME ON!
- NO, WE HAVE TO STAY AND FIGHT.
- THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM.
- THEY WILL ALERT THE IMPERIAL ARMY.
WE MUST STRIKE NOW.
TO THE VALLEY OF PEACE!
[all cheer]
- LET ME GO.
LET ME GO!
- STOP STRUGGLING.
[all grunt]
YOU'RE WELCOME.
- TIGRESS, I'M SO SORRY.
YIJIRO'S GONE AND I--
- DIDN'T YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM HIM?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU OR ME.
WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK IN THERE AND STOP KIRA.
THAT'S WHAT A SAMURAI WOULD DO.
[marching footfalls] - HE'S MARCHING ON THE VALLEY!
- HE'LL DESTROY THE VILLAGE.
CRANE, YOU'VE GOTTA FLY AHEAD AND WARN THEM.
- BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?
- GO!
I'VE GOT TO STALL THAT ARMY.
- HOW? THEY OUTNUMBER YOU, LIKE, A ZILLION TO ONE.
- A TRUE SAMURAI DOESN'T WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES.
BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, TIGRESS.
AND SO WAS YIJIRO.
LOOK, AN OMEN OF GOOD FORTUNE! - WHA--
[groans]
- SORRY, TIGRESS.
YOU'RE NOT PERISHING WITH HONOR TODAY.
I OWE THIS TO YIJIRO.
[marching and grunting]
- THE VALLEY OF PEACE IS OURS.
[all cheer]
- SHAKA BONSAI!
[all groan]
I'M CALLING YOU OUT, KIRA.
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
- IMBECILE, I HUMILIATED YOU ONCE.
- AND I'M PREPARED TO HAVE YOU DO IT AGAIN
BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME DOESN'T MATTER.
[blows raspberry]
[taunting nonsense sounds]
- WH--WHA--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
STOP THAT.
- OOH, LOOK AT ME.
I'M A STUPID CLAM AND I'M GONNA CONQUER CHINA
WITH MY CLAM CLAN.
CLAM CLAN. CLAM CLAN. CLAM CLAN. [all laugh]
- YOU'RE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
YOU HAVE NO HONOR.
- AND YOU HAVE NO LIPS.
- YA!
- YA--OW!
WHOA!
OOH! UGH! AHH!
[all laugh]
ITTY BITTY CLAMSHELL.
OOF!
[groans]
- TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING UP.
I WANT THIS TO LAST AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
- THAT'S THE IDEA.
IT'S CALLED STALLING.
- STALLING FOR WHAT?
- STALLING FOR ANOTHER ARMY. - WHA--
- MASTER YIJIRO, YOU'RE ALIVE. HOW?
- A TRUE SAMURAI SURVIVES
THROUGH FAITH, SKILL, AND COURAGE.
ALSO, THERE WAS A LEDGE.
- BUT WHERE DID YOU GET AN ARMY?
- MASTER SHIFU SENT THEM.
PO'S DISTRACTION GAVE ME TIME TO FIND AND GUIDE THEM HERE.
ARIGATO, PANDA SAN.
- AH! - OOF!
- YIJIRO!
[all shouting]
- FORGET ME.
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP KIRA.
REMEMBER, THERE IS NO "I," THERE IS ONLY--
- WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
KIRA!
- [frustrated grunt]
- AGH!
HIYA! - OOF!
WA-TA! - AGH!
- YA! - OW!
I'M OKAY.
AW, COME ON.
SERIOUSLY?
- [groans]
- NOT BAD.
FOR A BEGINNER. - ARIGATO, PRAWN SAN.
TIGRESS, DON'T BE MAD THAT I-- - YOU'RE ALIVE!
THIS IS SO--
OH, YOU'RE ALIVE.
YOU'RE ALIVE.
- BETWEEN US, THERE CAN BE NO WORDS OF FAREWELL.
- PERHAPS I COULD COME VISIT YOU IN JAPAN.
- IF THAT IS OUR DESTINY.
UNTIL THEN, YOUR PLACE IS HERE.
- PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SACRED SCROLL AS A TOKEN OF HONOR.
- I THANK YOU, SENSEI.
BUT YOUR GRATITUDE SHOULD GO TO A BUSHIDO OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE.
PO.
- PO? - YOU.
- I? THERE'S NOT "I."
THERE'S ONLY WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.
- JUST TAKE THE SCROLL.
- OKAY.
[Kira Kozu grunting]