- WA-CHA! HIYAH!
male announcer: AND NOW,
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong rings]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
[traditional Asian music]
*
[grunting]
- [scats]
BUDDY, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A HAND,
'CAUSE I NEED TO GET AHEAD.
HUH? HUH? I KNOW. HILARIOUS, RIGHT?
- COULD YOU HELP?
- [grunts] THIS IS GREAT.
MAN, I LOVE FIGHTING GUYS WHO DON'T FIGHT SO GOOD.
I'M A-PUNCHIN' AND A-KICKIN'
AND A-PUNCHIN'.
WHOO-HOO!
- PO, FOCUS. WE--[grunts]
- HEY, TIGRESS, DID I TELL YOU THAT I FINALLY FOUND
WHERE THAT LEAK IN MY ROOM WAS COMING FROM?
HA! - [groans]
- DON'T CARE. - IT WAS A HOLE.
AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE IT WAS.
THE ROOF. TRUE STORY.
[all grunting]
WHOA! SWEET ACUPRESSURIZATION, MANTIS.
NOW ALLOW ME TO ASSIST YOU
WITH SOME PANDA ASSIST-ASIZATION.
- JUST HELP ALREADY.
- * EVERYBODY LOVES MY CLEVER FIGHTING BANTER *
* FIGHTY-FIGHTY, FIGHTY *
* BA-BA-BANTY BANTER
[scats]
BA-POW! [all grunting]
THAT'LL TEACH THOSE GUYS TO STEAL JEWELS, HUH?
- YOU THINK MAYBE BEFORE YOU CHASED 'EM OFF,
YOU SHOULD HAVE...
GOTTEN THE JEWELS BACK FROM THEM?
[laughter] - SEE YA, SUCKERS.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS SAY ANYTHING?
- BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SHUT UP!
- OH, WELL, YEAH.
- EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE
IF YOU'D JUST STOPPED TALKING FOR, LIKE, A SECOND.
- I KNOW, OKAY? I'M SORRY.
- DON'T YOU EVER STOP TALKING? - WHEN I'M ASLEEP.
- YOU TALK IN YOUR SLEEP.
- SO THE PANDA'S MOUTH CAUSING TROUBLE AGAIN?
- NOT THE SAME WAY AS LAST TIME.
THIS TIME IT WAS BECAUSE I TALKED TOO MUCH,
NOT 'CAUSE I SAID SOMETHING STUPID.
- YOU SAID TONS OF STUPID STUFF.
- PO, THE PROBLEM ISN'T JUST TOO MUCH TALKING.
IT'S LACK OF FOCUS.
AHEM.
- [grumbles]
- TALKING DISSIPATES YOUR CHI.
YOU CANNOT FOCUS ON WORDS
AND KUNG FU AT THE SAME TIME.
- LOOK, WHAT HAPPENED WAS WE WERE FIGHTING THESE GUYS--
WHOA!
- I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KNOCK YOU DOWN
IF YOU HADN'T BEEN TALKING.
- IF I HADN'T BEEN TALKING,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED TO KNOCK ME DOWN.
- THIS IS ALSO TRUE.
PO, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF MASTER WUSHEN?
- THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE SILKEN MOON TOUCH?
- THE VERY SAME.
WUSHEN AND I WERE BOTH PUPILS OF OOGWAY.
THOUGH HE WAS BORN WITH GREAT NATURAL ABILITY,
WUSHEN WAS NOT LIVING UP TO HIS POTENTIAL.
HE WAS ALWAYS TALKING WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOCUSING.
AT OOGWAY'S SUGGESTION, WUSHEN TOOK A VOW OF SILENCE.
ALMOST AT ONCE, WUSHEN'S KUNG FU
BEGAN TO IMPROVE DRAMATICALLY.
WITHIN A WEEK, HE HAD DEVELOPED THE MOVE
THAT WOULD MAKE HIM FAMOUS...
THE SILKEN MOON TOUCH.
THE VOW OF SILENCE ENABLED WUSHEN TO STRIP AWAY
THE DISTRACTION OF WORDS
AND FOCUS HIS CHI TO ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS.
- WHOA!
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE
TO MASTER THE SILKEN MOON TOUCH.
ALSO, TO SWIM IN HONEY.
- IF LEARNING THE MOON TOUCH IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU,
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CONSIDER TAKING A VOW OF SILENCE.
- YEAH! WAIT, WHAT EXACTLY IS THAT?
- [sighs] IT'S WHEN YOU TAKE A VOW
TO BE SILENT.
- IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
- OF COURSE IT'S POSSIBLE.
YOU JUST DON'T SPEAK.
- AND YOU THINK ME NOT TALKING WOULD HELP?
- I THINK IT WOULD HELP YOU. I KNOW IT WOULD HELP ME.
- BUT, IF YOU DON'T TALK AT ALL,
DON'T THE WORDS GET, LIKE-- GET BACKED UP IN THERE
AND COME OUT SOMEPLACE ELSE, LIKE YOUR NOSE
OR SOMETHING MAYBE EVEN WORSE THAN THAT?
'CAUSE I MEAN-- - PO! JUST THINK ABOUT IT.
- YEAH, I DON'T--
- MORE THAN THAT.
- UH... - MORE.
- MANTIS, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE A VOW OF SILENCE?
- [laughs hysterically]
AND YOU'RE NOT JOKING.
- SHIFU SAID IT MIGHT HELP ME FOCUS
TO LEARN THE SILKEN MOON TOUCH.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
LIKE, STAY WITH ME AND MAKE SURE I DON'T TALK?
- OH, THIS IS GONNA BE HILARIOUS.
COUNT ME IN. - AWESOME!
SILKEN MOON TOUCH, HERE I COME.
- PO. PO.
PO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HOLD YOUR BREATH.
- [exhales]
I DON'T?
- YOU JUST TALKED. - HUH? I DID?
- YOU DID IT AGAIN. - RIGHT. SORRY.
- AND AGAIN. - GOT IT!
- THIS'LL HELP.
WE'LL CALL THIS THE TALK JAR.
EVERY TIME YOU TALK, YOU HAVE TO THROW IN, SAY, FIVE YUAN.
- OOH, GOOD IDEA.
- TALK JAR. - MM.
- THERE YOU GO.
IT'LL GIVE YOU SOME INCENTIVE, RIGHT?
HEY, NOW YOU'RE GETTING THE HANG OF IT!
- THANKS. - TALK JAR!
- DAH!
- MORNING, BUDDY.
- HEY.
DID PO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS VOW OF SILENCE?
[uproarious laughter]
- OH.
A VOW OF SILENCE, HUH?
BEAN BUN? - YES!
DANG.
- IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.
- AND HOW'S IT PROGRESSING?
- ANOTHER? - YES!
DANG. [coin clinks]
- NOT GREAT.
- DID YOU REALLY TAKE A VOW OF SILENCE?
- I SURE--DANG.
- I KNEW HE COULDN'T DO IT.
- YES, I--DANG.
- COME ON, PO.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO TALK.
ALL RIGHT.
REMEMBER WHEN YOU DID THAT ONE KUNG FU MOVE,
THE MONGOLIAN FURBALL?
- FIREBA--AH!
[laughter]
- ALL RIGHT, STOP IT.
I THINK WE ALL OWE IT TO PO TO BE SUPPORTIVE.
DO NOT!
PO'S TRYING TO DO SOMETHING THAT COULD BENEFIT US ALL.
SO JUST BACK OFF AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
- THANK YOU.
AGH!
MANTIS, THEY'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T DO THIS.
I'M A BLABBERMOUTH,
A CHATTERBOX, A YAKKITY-WAKKITY,
A FLOOGOOMEISTER.
- A FLOOGA-WHAT? - I DON'T KNOW.
SEE, I TALK SO MUCH I HAVE TO MAKE UP NEW WORDS.
- YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU JUST SHUT YOUR YAP AND FOCUS.
- [sighs] RIGHT.
- FOCUS!
- HOW GOES THE SILKEN MOON TOUCH?
- UH, WELL...
- OH, YOU'RE LOVING THIS, AREN'T YOU?
YOU NEVER LIKED ME, NOT SINCE DAY ONE.
WELL, LISTEN HERE, PAL.
I'M GONNA-- - PANDA.
IT'S CLEAR YOU'RE NOT TAKING
YOUR VOW OF SILENCE SERIOUSLY.
- NO, NO, NO, I AM, I AM.
SEE.
THAT'S ME LOCKING MY MOUTH AND--
- I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
PO, YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT
IF YOU'RE REALLY WILLING TO COMMIT TO THIS.
- YOU CAN DO IT, PO.
I KNOW YOU CAN. MAYBE.
- AH, THERE'S NO WAY I CAN MAKE IT ON MY OWN.
- [snoring]
MANTIS, YOU ASLEEP?
BUT MAYBE WITH A LITTLE ACUPRESSURE HELP.
- [continues snoring]
- IT'S QUIET TIME.
[floorboards creaking]
[hums]
[clatter]
WHEW.
[giggles]
AH, BINGO.
JUST GOT TO FIND THE EXACT PRESSURE POINT.
AH. AHHH. TESTING. TESTING.
[crunch] [yelps and chokes]
STUPID NUBBY FINGERS.
- [snoring] YEAH! LET'S DO IT!
- AH, PLEASE DON'T WAKE UP.
PLEASE DON'T WAKE UP. PLEASE DON'T WAKE UP.
[exclaims]
- [groans]
[continues snoring]
[door creaks, shuts]
WHAT WAS THAT?
OKAY, BUDDY, IT'S A BRAND-NEW DAY.
WE'RE ALL RESTED UP,
AND WE'RE HEADING INTO THE VILLAGE.
PEOPLE ARE GONNA SAY HI, BUT YOU JUST WAVE, OKAY?
NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, YOU KEEP THE MOUTH CLOSED.
- HELLO, PO. - HI, PO.
- HEY, THERE, PO.
- GREAT JOB.
YOU'LL HAVE THAT SILKEN MOON TOUCH
MASTERED IN NO TIME.
- HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!
- YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TILL YOU APOLOGIZE.
- SEE? HE'S SORRY.
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
- DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT MY BROTHER SAID?
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
APOLOGIZE.
- UH, PO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST--
YOU AND YOUR NOT-BIG MOUTH!
- APOLOGIZE.
- [grunts]
SERIOUSLY, PO, I THINK IT WOULD BE OKAY
IF YOU TALKED NOW.
- [exclaims]
[grunting]
- [grunting]
[groaning]
- [grunts]
HEE-YAH!
I HATE THIS!
- [grunting]
[both grunt]
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO.
BUT THIS ISN'T OVER, PANDA.
- AND NEXT TIME, WE WON'T BE SO LUCKY.
- HE WON'T. - WHO WON'T?
- THAT GUY. THE PANDA.
- WON'T WHAT? - HE WON'T BE SO LUCKY!
- I DON'T THINK THAT WAS LUCK. HE BEAT US PRETTY GOOD.
- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHO'S GOOD AND WHO'S NOT!
JUST GET GOING!
- OKAY, SURE, YOU JUST GOT US IN MORE TROUBLE
BY BEING SILENT THAN YOU USUALLY DO BY TALKING,
BUT STILL, WAY TO COMMIT TO THE VOW.
I'M PROUD OF YOU, BUDDY.
- PO, REMEMBER THAT ONE MOVE YOU DID?
WAS IT THE WONDERING THIN HAMMER?
HAMMERING ONE THINNER?
WITHERING DARNED HUMMER? [grunts]
[sighs]
THUNDERING WIND HAMMER.
- [slurps]
- [chuckles]
PIPING HOT BEAN BUNS, PO.
JUST SAY THE WORD.
HMM?
OH, WELL PLAYED, MY FRIEND.
- [exhales]
[all sigh]
- PO, THAT IS NOT GOING TO FOCUS YOUR CHI.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WITH ALL THE HARD WORK YOU'VE DONE
ON YOUR VOW OF SILENCE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE MASTERED THE MOON TOUCH BY NOW.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, PO.
WE'RE STILL REAL IMPRESSED WITH YOU.
- I HAD MY DOUBTS, BUT THE EFFORT YOU'VE PUT FORTH
HAS SHOWN WHAT YOU'RE REALLY MADE OF.
[horn blares]
- IT'S TEMUTAI.
AND HE'S BROUGHT THE ENTIRE QIDAN ARMY.
- IS THAT THE ONE? - THAT'S HIM, DAD.
- YEAH. - DAD?
- OH, BOY.
- YOU, DRAGON WARRIOR.
YOU WERE MEAN TO MY BOYS.
THEY ARE GOOD BOYS, AND YOU WERE MEAN!
I DEMAND AN APOLOGY.
WHAT WAS THAT? WAS THAT A CURTSY?
- HONORABLE TEMUTAI, PO HAS TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE.
- ENOUGH! [blathers]
HEAR ME NOW.
IF THE PANDA DOES NOT APOLOGIZE,
I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU AND THIS ENTIRE VILLAGE.
THERE WILL BE NAUGHT BUT SCORCHED EARTH AND MEMORIES!
AND MAYBE NOT MEMORIES!
- HAVEN'T WE KIND OF BEATEN YOU BEFORE, LIKE, SEVERAL TIMES?
- YEAH, BIG GUY. HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?
OH, RIGHT. YOU BROUGHT CATAPULTS.
OOH, AND CANNONS.
- [blows horn]
- AND A LITTLE GUY WITH A HORN.
- ONE MOMENT.
PO, I KNOW THIS VOW WAS MY SUGGESTION,
BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? YOU CAN'T?
- OH, NO. YOU DIDN'T.
- DIDN'T WHAT?
- HE PARALYZED HIS VOCAL CORDS.
- YOU CAN DO THAT?
I MEAN, WE COULD HAVE SHUT HIM UP WHENEVER WE WANTED?
- YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO US ALL THIS TIME.
- I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER.
CAN YOU FIX HIM?
- HMM. [musical tones]
THIS SHOULD WORK.
BUT IT'LL BE AT LEAST AN HOUR BEFORE HE CAN MAKE A SOUND,
MAYBE EVEN LONGER.
- APOLOGIZE NOW.
- WE DON'T HAVE AN HOUR.
- WAIT.
- HEY. - SORRY.
BRING IT RIGHT BACK.
- BUT THAT'S MY FAVORITE HAT.
[all whispering]
- WHAT ARE YOU-- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?
THAT IS SO RUDE!
- TEMUTAI, PO IS READY TO APOLOGIZE
TO YOU AND YOUR SONS.
- [coughs] IT'S PRETTY STUFFY IN HERE.
AND A LOT OF DANDRUFF.
MOST HONORABLE TEMUTAI,
YAMMERING BEAST WITH GREAT HORNS,
KING OF THE QIDAN, NO LESS.
I, PO, WOULD LIKE TO HUMBLY APO--[coughs]
OH, THERE'S NO AIR UNDER HERE.
AAH.
CAN'T BREATHE. [grunts]
YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME, YOU IDIOT!
[all gasping]
- IDIOT? IDIOT!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS INSULT.
YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE VILLAGE!
ATTACK!
- DID IT WORK?
[all shouting]
SO, NO?
- ATTACK!
[all shouting]
- ARE WE WAITING FOR SOMETHING?
- OH, USUALLY, AT THIS POINT,
PO SAYS SOMETHING HE THINKS IS CLEVER.
[all shouting]
[all grunting]
- OOH! - HA-AH!
- [screams]
[groans]
- HA! - [grunting]
- [laughs] - [groans]
[grunting, struggling]
- WHY MUST WE DO THIS?
IS YOUR PRIDE SO GREAT THAT YOU CANNOT SUFFER
A SIMPLE APOLOGY?
NOW YOU MOCK ME WITH YOUR CRUEL FACE-MAKING?
THIS SHALL NOT STAND! [blathers]
NOKAI!
ARCHERS, ABOVE. GET SHIFU FIRST!
[blathers]
NOW WE END THIS.
- [hoarse] SHIFU!
SHI-- - [grunts] UNH!
- SHIFU! ABOVE!
TEMUTAI! [onlookers chattering]
[horn blows]
I AM SORRY.
PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE APOLOGY.
- [sighs] WELL, IN THAT CASE...
[blathers] NO!
TOO LATE! YOUR VILLAGE IS FORFEIT!
WARRIORS OF QIDAN, FIGHT HARDER!
[all shouting]
- AHA! [chuckles]
AAH!
- WATCH THIS, DAD. - WE SQUASH HIM!
- SUCH GOOD BOYS.
- [shouts] - NICE TRY, CHUCKLES.
HA! TOO SLOW.
[both grunting]
HOO-HOO, GOTTA HURT. [laughs]
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.
WITH PUNCHING! OOF!
OKAY, NOT QUITE--
OH! N-NO PROBLEM.
'CAUSE I CAN TALK ALL DAY LO--
OH!
[all grunting, laughing]
- OOH! AAH!
- NO! MY FRIENDS! THE VILLAGE!
THIS ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE I CHEATED.
- NOW, DRAGON WARRIOR, YOU WILL FACE YOUR DOOM!
- WAIT. NO!
NO MORE TALKING.
- I SAID YOU WILL FACE YOUR DOOM!
[blathers]
AREN'T YOU GONNA-- WITTY COMEBACK, UH, PO SAYING?
IS IT ME, OR IS IT KIND OF CREEPY WHEN HE DOESN'T SPEAK?
[all shouting]
- [exhales]
[wind whipping]
[boom]
[all grunting]
I SAID I WAS SORRY! YEESH.
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?
[all muttering frantically]
- WELL, ONCE AGAIN, PO, YOU'VE SOLVED A PROBLEM...
- THANK YOU. - THAT YOU PRETTY MUCH CAUSED.
- [sighs]
SO, UH, EVERYBODY?
NOW THAT I CAN TALK AGAIN,
I'VE BEEN KEEPING A LIST OF EVERYTHING
I WANTED TO SAY AND COULDN'T.
- I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO LAST.
[all grumbling]
- OW. AWESOME! WHAT'S THAT? YOUR MAMA DRESSES YOU FUNNY.
COULD I HAVE ANOTHER?
THAT'S NOT A PICKLE. I KNOW, RIGHT?
AWESOME! OH, MY GOSH, I TOTALLY USED TO HAVE
A HAT LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A KID, ONLY IT WAS BLUE...