- WA-CHA! HIYAH!
male announcer: AND NOW
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong rings]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
[flute playing]
*
- [groans]
ALL I GOTTA DO, MONKEY,
IS GET THIS THING IN PLACE.
AND THEN, WHEN THE KITES CATCH THE WIND,
WHOOSH!
[gasps] HOO.
- ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
- NO, I'M SURE IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
PLUS, CRANE KNOWS ALL ABOUT WINGS AND STUFF,
AND HE SAID IT WILL TOTALLY WORK.
- NO, I DID NOT.
- HE SAID WHEN IT CRASHES,
IT PROBABLY WON'T BURN.
RELEASE THE KITES!
[whimpers]
WHOO-HOO!
UH-OH. [screams]
- [screams]
- YAHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! HOO-HOO-HOO!
YAY! YAY!
NOT YAY. NOT YAY!
- [hums]
[groans]
- AH! OOH! SORRY, GUYS.
[groaning]
[groans]
WE HAVE TO CLEAN THIS UP
BEFORE SHIFU SEES IT.
both: WE?
- [clears throat]
- AH, MASTER SHIFU. I CAN EXPLAIN.
YOU SEE, MONKEY THOUGHT THAT--
- HUH? - AAH!
[gasps]
- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
JUST BURSTING WITH POSSIBILITIES.
[hums]
all: WHAT?
- [sighs]
- UH, MASTER SHIFU?
- HAVE I TOLD YOU GUYS LATELY
THAT I THINK YOU'RE JUST TERRIFIC?
- OKAY. - THIS IS CRAZY.
[overlapping chatter]
- UH, DID YOU NOTICE WE KINDA
WRECKED SOME STUFF IN THERE?
both: WE?
- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
[overlapping chatter]
- WE, UH, FLOODED THE TRAINING HALL.
- SURE. - IT'S RAINING GOATS.
- ABOUT TIME.
- TIGRESS SMILED.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- AW, COME ON, THAT CAN'T REALLY BE HIM, RIGHT?
- WE TOTALLY SHOULD'VE CHECKED TO SEE
IF SOMEONE WAS WEARING A SHIFU MASK.
- MAYBE HE'S JUST HAPPY.
YOU'RE RIGHT, WE SHOULD'VE CHECKED
TO SEE IF IT WAS A MASK.
- I GOTTA GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
ACTIVATE PANDA STEALTH MODE.
- [grunting]
OOH.
[snores]
- STEALTH MODE? - SHH.
[cheerful flute music]
- HUH, I GUESS HE REALLY JUST ACHIEVED INNER PEACE.
*
[gasps] MEI LING.
SHIFU, LOOK OUT!
AAH!
- [grunts]
- WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? - [groans]
SHE WAS GONNA STRANGLE YOU.
- NO, I WASN'T.
I WAS GOING TO DO THIS.
- [groans]
[sighs]
- [moaning]
- HUH?
EW.
IS THAT SOME NEW KIND OF KUNG FU, OR...
- [sighs] YOU MAY AS WELL KNOW.
MEI LING AND I HAVE SECRETLY REKINDLED OUR RELATIONSHIP.
- BUT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A SECRET ANYMORE
BECAUSE I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE STRAIGHT.
NO MORE CRIME.
- AND I'M GOING TO RETIRE AS WELL.
- GONE STRAIGHT, HUH?
I'LL BELIEVE THAT WHEN-- WHAT DID YOU SAIDED?
- YOU HEARDED ME.
OOH. - [giggles]
- [laughs]
- [gags]
[both laugh]
HALF A SEC.
YOU CAN'T RETIRE. WE NEED YOU.
YOU'RE THE MASTER OF THE JADE PALACE.
WHO'LL YELL AT ME WHEN I PLAY KICKBALL
IN THE HALL OF HEROES?
- HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T PLAY KICKBALL?
- YOU CAN'T TRUST MEI LING.
SHE TOTALLY BETRAYED YOU.
SHE'S EVIL, A VICIOUS, SPITEFUL--
UH, NO OFFENSE.
HOW CAN YOU UST-TRAY ER-HAY
AFTER WHAT SHE DID LAST IME-TAY?
THE ODY-SWAPPING-BAY?
THE ODY-BAY APPING-SWAY?
THE--THE--THE BAD STUFF THAT SHE DID.
- ISTEN-LAY O-TAY E-MAY.
I'M TIRED, PO,
TIRED OF THE STRESS OF LEADERSHIP,
TIRED OF RESPONSIBILITY.
MEI LING MAKES ME HAPPY.
ALL I ASK IS A PICNIC WITH YOU, MY DEAR,
A PICNIC THAT LASTS FOREVER.
- BUT-- - MMM.
- AH, GROSS.
WAIT. YOU CAN'T RETIRE.
WE STILL HAVE TO DELIVER THAT CROWN DEALIE.
- AH, YES, THE CROWN OF HEAVEN,
TO THE IMPERIAL MUSEUM.
- YOU SAID IT'S ALL IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE AND JUNK.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, PANDA.
DELIVERING THE CROWN WILL BE
MY LAST MISSION FOR THE JADE PALACE.
THEN, I CAN RETIRE.
BUT YOU ARE NOT TO TELL THE FIVE.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
I HAVE TO GO, MY DEAR.
- MM. - AH!
AW. [groans]
- I'LL SEE YOU SOON, MY LOVE.
- HEY, UH-- [laughs]
I KNOW I'M THE HAPPY-GO-LUCKY PANDA AND ALL,
BUT IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO HURT SHIFU,
I WILL MAKE YOU PAY
A LOT.
- SHIFU'S LUCKY TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE YOU.
- THEY'RE GONE.
- SO THEY'RE DELIVERING THE CROWN TOMORROW, EH?
EXCELLENT.
THEY'LL BE VULNERABLE WHILE THEY'RE IN TRANSIT.
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO KNOW.
IT LOOKS LIKE SHIFU'S FINAL MISSION
IS GOING TO BE HIS LAST.
- WELL, IF IT'S HIS FINAL MISSION,
OF COURSE IT WILL BE HIS--
- JUST GO WITH IT.
[cackles]
- [groans]
- THE CROWN OF HEAVEN.
ANCIENT, SOLID GOLD, INESTIMABLY PRECIOUS.
I'LL BE GLAD WHEN WE'VE DELIVERED IT
TO THE IMPERIAL MUSEUM.
- BUT IT'S SO SAD TO SAY GOOD-BYE
TO SOMETHING SO WONDERFUL.
[whimpers]
- KEEP IT TOGETHER, PANDA, AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
- YEAH, I-I UNDERSTAND.
[sniffles]
[exhales]
- MAN, PO, EVER SINCE YOU SQUASHED ME,
I'VE HAD A HEADACHE THAT WON'T GO AWAY.
- [sniffles] GO AWAY?
- CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME A HAND WITH THE POLE ON THE LEFT?
- LEFT?
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, PO?
ARE WE TIRING YOU OUT?
- [squeals] WE-TIRING?
GAH.
- PO IS JUST SAD TO SEE
THE CROWN OF HEAVEN GO.
RIGHT, PO?
- WE HAD SOME GREAT TIMES TOGETHER.
- BUT YOU'RE FINE NOW, RIGHT?
- YEAH. YEAH.
- OKAY, THEN. LET'S GO.
- GO? AAH!
- KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, EVERYONE.
THIS QUIET MAY NOT LAST.
- LAST? - WHAT'S SAD ABOUT "LAST"?
- [whispers] IT'S YOUR LAST MISSION.
- PO, WILL YOU--
THEY'RE ALL AROUND US.
- HEY. THESE ARE JUNJIE'S GUYS.
- TIME TO EARN OUR PAY.
- WAIT, YOU GUYS GET PAID?
[all grunting]
- THERE'S JUNJIE. - HE'S GETTING AWAY.
- DELIVER THE CROWN TO THE MUSEUM.
PO AND I WILL CATCH JUNJIE.
[all grunting]
- [panting] WAS HE ALWAYS THIS FAST?
- WE'RE LOSING HIM.
- AAH!
- [grunts] JUNJIE.
HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERE TRANSPORTING THE--
MEI LING. - [gasps]
I TOLD YOU SO.
I'M SORRY. I JUST NEVER GET TO SAY THAT.
- HOW--HOW COULD YOU?
- PLEASE, SHIFU, LET ME EXPLAIN.
- BY ALL MEANS.
I'M SURE YOU HAD A VERY GOOD REASON
FOR RIPPING OUT MY STILL-BEATING HEART.
- EW.
- BUT, FOOFY, I DID IT FOR US.
YEARS AGO,
NOT LONG AFTER WE BROKE UP...
I STOLE A BEAUTIFUL, SILVER SWORD
FROM MASTER JUNJIE.
[foreboding music]
*
BUT I WAS MORE CONFIDENT THAN SKILLED.
[growling]
I BEGGED FOR MERCY.
HE SAID HE WOULD LET ME GO,
BUT SOMEDAY, HE WOULD ASK A FAVOR,
ONE FAVOR.
A FEW DAYS AGO, HE ASKED THAT FAVOR.
- THE CROWN OF HEAVEN.
- YES.
IF I FAILED TO BRING HIM THE CROWN,
JUNJIE SAID HE WOULD DO AWAY WITH ME
AND YOU.
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME, I-I WAS ONLY DOING THIS,
SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER.
WELL, TOGETHER AND, YOU KNOW, ALIVE.
- MASTER SHIFU, WE CAN'T TRUST HER.
SHE'S PULLED THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE.
SHE'S JUST USING YOU.
- I BELIEVE HER. - BUT--
- I SAID I BELIEVE HER.
- WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY.
BY NOW, THE FIVE WILL HAVE DELIVERED
THE CROWN TO THE MUSEUM.
- NO. THAT PLACE IS LIKE A FORTRESS.
NO ONE HAS EVER BROKEN INTO THE IMPERIAL MUSEUM.
- AND IF JUNJIE DOESN'T GET THAT CROWN,
WE'LL NEVER BE SAFE.
IT MAY TAKE HIM YEARS, BUT SOONER OR LATER,
HE'LL GET US BOTH.
WE MUST GET HIM THE CROWN.
BUT I CAN'T LET YOU STEAL IT, MEI LING.
AND THAT'S WHY
I'M GOING TO STEAL IT MYSELF.
- YOU? - WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU--
THAT'S CRAZY TALK. YOU CAN'T STEAL STUFF.
YOU'RE SHIFU.
- HONOR IS THE CORE OF YOUR BEING.
YOU CAN'T JUST SACRIFICE WHO YOU ARE FOR ME.
- YES, I'VE GIVEN MY LIFE TO HONOR,
AND IT'S LEFT ME TIRED, CRANKY, AND ALONE.
MAYBE IT'S TIME TO GIVE MY LIFE
TO SOMETHING ELSE--
LOVE.
- IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION, FOOFY.
I WON'T LET YOU DO IT.
- THE THING OF IT IS, MY DEAR,
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
- WHAT?
WHY--WHY, YOU--
- PO, THE CABIN ISN'T FAR FROM HERE.
HOLD HER THERE, SO SHE CAN'T GET IN MY WAY.
- UH, MAYBE I SHOULD GET IN YOUR WAY?
- YOU CAN TRY, BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT
TO DENY ME MY ONE CHANCE AT HAPPINESS?
MY ONE CHANCE AT LOVE?
- [sighs] ALL RIGHT.
BUT IF YOU WANT MY OPINION... - NOT EVEN A LITTLE.
- SHE JUST TRICKED YOU INTO DOING
HER DIRTY WORK FOR HER.
[tense music]
*
- I HATE THIS.
- IS HE-- IS HE COMING RIGHT AT US
WITH A STICK?
- HEY, BUDDY!
YOU CAN SEE WE HAVE CROSSBOWS, RIGHT?
[dramatic music]
*
AWESOME.
- [slurps]
DANG.
- YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.
- AW, I HATE BEING WAY IN THE BACK.
WE NEVER GET TO SEE ANY ACTION.
SEE, LIKE THAT GUY.
SURE, HE MADE IT PAST THE DOOR GUARDS,
BUT HE'LL NEVER GET BY THE GUYS IN THE FRONT.
[all grunting]
OKAY, BUT HE'LL NEVER MAKE IT
PAST THE FIRST BOOBY TRAP.
[metallic clang, guards grunting]
[crumbling]
YEAH, BUT THE NEXT GUARDS--
[guards grunting]
THE SECOND BOOBY TRAP--
[metallic clang, guards grunting]
GUARDS-- [guards grunting]
FINAL BOOBY TRAP.
- [screams]
- WE'RE SEEING ACTION.
OH, MY GOSH, WE'RE TOTALLY SEEING ACTION.
[grunting]
YAY FOR ACTION.
[sighs]
[all grunting]
- [gasps]
- MEI LING.
PO WAS RIGHT.
YOU TRICKED ME INTO DEFEATING THE GUARDS
AND DISABLING THE DEFENSES FOR YOU.
- OH, FOOFY.
- [groans]
- I'M SO SORRY.
[groans]
COULD BE A-A PROBLEM.
[grunts]
[groans]
[groaning]
SERIOUSLY, DON'T HELP ME
OR ANYTHING.
- I AM AN EVIL MASTERMIND, MADAM.
I AM NOT KNOWN FOR MY MANNERS.
- [panting]
ALL RIGHT, JUNJIE.
HERE'S THE CROWN, JUST AS WE AGREED.
- I COMMEND YOU ON YOUR PROMPTNESS.
YOU HAVE DISCHARGED YOUR DEBT TO ME.
YOU ARE FREE.
- NOT FOR LONG.
SO ARE YOU GUYS GONNA COME ALONG PEACEFULLY OR--
- I THOUGHT THE SIGNAL WAS "CA-CAW."
- IT WAS "CA-CAW." - "CA-CAW."
THAT'S WHAT WE AGREED ON. - OKAY.
IT'S ON.
[all grunting]
- HIYAH!
[grunting]
PO.
- WA-TA!
[both grunting]
[gasps]
WH-WHOA!
- HA.
- [grunts]
- WA-TA!
- YOU KNOW, ON SECOND THOUGHT,
I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO COME PEACEFULLY.
- IT'S CHOR GHOM PRISON FOR YOU, BUDDY.
- STOP!
- LOOK, GUYS. IT'S THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- I'VE GOT THE REAL THIEVES HERE.
ACTUALLY, SHE DID THE STEALING.
FOUR-EYES THERE... - UNCALLED FOR.
- IS MORE OF THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES GUY,
BUT HE'S JUST AS GUILTY.
- BUT HE WAS ALL HITTING US AND STUFF.
- THIS IS THE HONORABLE MASTER SHIFU.
OBVIOUSLY, HE WAS TRYING TO GET THE CROWN
TO PREVENT HER FROM STEALING IT.
RIGHT?
- UH, WELL, I--
- I'M JUST GLAD I GOT TO SEE SOME ACTION,
'CAUSE NOW, I KNOW I DON'T LIKE IT.
ALL RIGHT, THEN. IT'S CHOR GHOM PRISON FOR YOU.
- MAY I HAVE A MOMENT WITH SHIFU?
- SWEET FAKE FIGHT,
ALTHOUGH NEXT TIME,
MAYBE WE DON'T GO QUITE SO REALISTIC.
[laughs] - WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
- PO AND I PLANNED THIS.
THE FURIOUS FIVE WERE IN ON IT TOO.
- I'M SORRY I DOUBTED MEI LING, SHIFU.
SHE REALLY DOES LOVE YOU.
- I COULDN'T LET YOU SACRIFICE YOUR HONOR
TO STEAL THE CROWN.
- BUT JUNJIE--
- JUNJIE HAS TO THINK I REALLY TRIED
TO BRING HIM THE CROWN.
SO TO BE BELIEVABLE, I'LL HAVE
TO SERVE MY TIME IN PRISON.
- MEI LING...
- THIS IS THE ONLY WAY,
AND I KNOW YOU'LL WAIT FOR ME.
- AS LONG AS IT TAKES.
- [sobbing]
SWEATY EYES.
[sobbing]
- AT LEAST WE GOT OUR PICNIC.
- YES, DEAR.
IT'S JUST A SHAME IT CAN'T LAST FOREVER.
- HERE'S TO US.
- FOOFY.