- WA-CHA! HIYAH!
male announcer: AND NOW
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong sounds]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
- BANDITS ARE COMING.
BANDITS ARE--OOF!
NEVER MIND. HAI!
[crowd screaming]
- [shouts]
- OH, GOD!
- [screams]
[crowd screaming]
- LET'S SHOW 'EM HOW THE DRAGON WARRIOR
AND THE FURIOUS FIVE DO THINGS DOWNTOWN!
KICKING DONKEY TEAM ATTACK.
GO! - WHAT? WAIT. NO.
- [roars]
- [gasps]
- PO.
[scattered groans]
- GUYS! [whimpering]
UH, SO NOT KICKING DONKEY TEAM ATTACK?
- YOU'RE OUT OF STEP WITH YOUR TEAMMATES, PO,
AND IT'S BEEN HAPPENING MORE AND MORE FREQUENTLY.
- VILLAINS, FACE THE WRATH OF THE DRAGON WARRIOR!
WAH!
WAH-TAH!
WHO WANTS SUPER-SPICY PEPPERS IN SUPER-SPICY SAUCE?
- EW. FOR BREAKFAST?
- [sighs] - I HAVE A NERVOUS STOMACH.
- [gasps] YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M BROKEN.
HELP ME.
- PO, YOU'RE SIMPLY OUT OF HARMONY...
WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE,
WITH THE WORLD,
WITH EVERYTHING.
- WE'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN ALONG BEFORE.
- THAT MAY BE, BUT UNTIL YOU GET BACK IN HARMONY,
I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO GO ON MISSIONS.
- WHAT?
YOU'RE--YOU'RE BENCHING ME?
BUT I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- YES, I KNOW.
YOU KEEP MENTIONING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
- OF COURSE I KEEP MENTIONING IT.
IT'S A HUGE DEALIE.
- HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THIS?
PO, THINK OF YOUR FAVORITE SONG.
- HMM, THAT'S A TOUGHIE,
BECAUSE SOMETIMES I LIKE IT UPBEAT, LIKE...
[scatting rapidly]
BUT OTHER TIMES I LIKE SOMETHING SLOW, LIKE...
[humming slowly]
- NEVER MIND.
THINK OF ANY SONG.
EACH NOTE IS DIFFERENT,
BUT NO NOTE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER.
THEY BLEND TOGETHER IN HARMONY.
HOWEVER, IF EVEN ONE NOTE IS OUT OF TUNE,
IT SPOILS EVERYTHING.
- OH...
I DON'T GET IT.
- I'M SORRY, PO.
NO MISSIONS FOR YOU.
AS IT STANDS, YOU'RE A DANGER TO YOURSELF AND YOUR TEAMMATES.
- MASTER, PLEASE.
I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO BE THE BEST DRAGON WARRIOR I CAN.
DON'T MAKE ME STOP NOW.
I'LL DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING!
[grunts hopefully]
- I MAY KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP.
TONIGHT YOU AND I WILL ATTEND AN EVENING
OF CLASSICAL CHINESE MELODIES.
- MASTER, PLEASE! CLASSICAL IS SO BORING.
- THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
[pipes chiming]
- WHO'S THE OLD, BORING GUY?
- THAT'S MASTER LUN, THE GREATEST MUSICIAN IN CHINA.
AND HE IS NOT BORING.
- LET'S BEGIN WITH A TUNE I CALL
STAGNANT WATER...
SLOWLY DRIPPING...
FROM A LEAF...
ON THE GROUND...
SLOW.
- [groans]
[traditional Asian plays]
*
[audience oohs]
- MASTER LUN HAS LEARNED TO HARNESS THE QI ENERGY OF SOUND.
*
[explosion, fireworks whistling]
[cheers and applause]
- STILL BORED?
- CLASSICAL MUSIC RULES!
ENCORE! WHOO-WHOO!
OH, MASTER LUN, THAT WAS AMAZING.
CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO MOVE ROCKS AROUND
AND BECOME INVISIBLE?
- HE DIDN'T BECOME INVISIBLE.
- COULDN'T HURT TO ASK.
- MUSIC ISN'T ABOUT TRICKS, MY BOY.
IT'S ABOUT CATCHING THE VIBE, GOING WITH THE FLOW.
AS THE ANCIENT MASTERS ONCE SAID,
"MUSIC IS WHAT'S HAPPENING."
IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS DARKNESS AND CHAOS.
BUT OUT OF THIS,
FIVE ELEMENTAL TONES
BEGAN TO SING...
[tones playing]
*
FORMING THE ETERNAL CHORD,
AND THAT'S HOW THE UNIVERSE WAS BORN.
THE WU DI MASTERS MADE FIVE INSTRUMENTS
HARNESSING THE POWER OF THE ETERNAL CHORD.
AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY UNCOOL IF THEY HADN'T,
FOR THE CHORD WAS NEEDED TO BATTLE THE EVIL YAOGUAI,
WHO WANTED TO RETURN THE UNIVERSE TO NOTHINGNESS.
THE WU DI PIPES AND OTHER INSTRUMENTS
HAVE KEPT THE DARKNESS AT BAY...
AND THE UNIVERSE IN HARMONY.
- WHOA!
YOU MEAN THOSE PIPES ARE...
THOSE PIPES?"
- THAT'S RIGHT.
MUSICAL KUNG FU CAN BE PLAYED ON ANY INSTRUMENT,
BUT THE PIPES ARE SPECIAL--
MAYBE SPECIAL ENOUGH TO GET YOU IN HARMONY.
- OOH, OOH, LET ME TRY! LET ME TRY!
- NO.
FOR THE UNTRAINED, THEY COULD BLOW YOUR HEAD APART.
- SURE, FOR THE UNTRAINED.
BUT THIS IS THE ONE AND ONLY DRAGON WARRIOR'S NOGGIN.
- IT'S NOT LIKE HE USES IT MUCH ANYWAY.
- PERHAPS, BUT WE CAN'T TAKE THAT RISK...
YET.
PRACTICE ON THIS.
- BUT THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF AWESOME, MAGICAL PIPES.
I MEAN...
NEAT.
- IN THE WORDS OF THE ANCIENT MASTERS,
LAY IT ON ME.
- [inhales deeply, plays off-key]
- MY SON, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,
BUT YOU ARE WHAT THE ANCIENT MASTERS CALLED...
"NOT GOOD."
- CAN YOU HELP HIM?
- WELL, IT WON'T BE EASY,
BUT I THINK I CAN TEACH HIM ABOUT HIS HARMONY
IN TWO, MAYBE THREE YEARS...
A DECADE AT THE MOST.
- A DECADE? I CAN'T WAIT FIVE YEARS!
- I KNOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED, PO, BUT BE PATIENT.
WE CAN'T RISK YOU HARMING YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE.
- BUT-- [groans]
I KNOW.
LOOK, MASTER, DO YOU MIND?
I THINK I NEED SOME PERSONAL PANDA TIME.
- OF COURSE.
I'LL MEET YOU BACK AT THE JADE PALACE.
- [grunts]
OKAY.
I'LL JUST USE THE PIPES TO GET ALL HARMONIOUS
AND THEN TAKE 'EM BACK BEFORE MASTER LUN WAKES UP.
HEY, HEY, I THINK THEY LIKE ME.
I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS.
[inhales deeply] [air rushing through pipes]
I CAN'T DO THIS.
[laughter]
UH, HELP YOU GUYS?
- SURE, HE CAN HELP US
BY GIVING US THOSE WU DI PIPES.
- [chuckles] NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAMES.
- HE WANTS TO KNOW WHO WE ARE.
- LET'S SHOW HIM...
ON THE DOWNBEAT.
[both playing chord]
- [grunts in pain]
[both playing chord]
- [yelps]
WHOA, MUSICAL KUNG FU.
- I THINK HE'S A FAN.
- LET'S PLAY HIM ONE HE HASN'T HEARD.
[both picking strings]
*
- [laughs]
- HE REALLY SHOULD GIVE US THOSE PIPES.
- HE MUST WANT US TO FRY HIM TO A CRISP.
[both picking strings]
- YA-TAH!
- HE MUST REALIZE IT'S HOPELESS.
THE PIPES WILL BELONG TO WE, THE YAOGUAI.
AND WITH IT, WE WILL SUMMON THE ANTI CHORD.
- AND THEN THE GREAT DARKNESS WILL RETURN,
AND THERE WILL BE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH.
both: HAIL ANTI CHORD!
[both playing chords]
- THE YAOGUAI?
YOU'RE THE CREEPS WHO WANT TO UNDO CREATION
AND DESTROY THE UNIVERSE.
- SHALL WE START WITH HIM?
- SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
[both playing chords]
[drumbeat plays]
- SERVANTS OF DARKNESS,
THE WU DI INSTRUMENTS WILL NEVER BE YOURS.
- WRONG, OLD ONE.
WE ALREADY HAVE THE OTHER FOUR.
- YOUR PIPES ARE ALL WE NEED.
- [playing chords]
[drumbeats]
- TIME FOR ONE LAST TUNE, OLD MAN.
- YOU WANT MUSIC?
YOU GOT IT.
DRAGON WARRIOR STYLE!
[inhales deeply]
- PO, NO! IT COULD DESTROY YOU!
- [plays off-key]
*
- YAH!
- HAIL ANTI CHORD!
[both laugh]
- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, PO?
IF THE YAOGUAI GET AWAY WITH THE PIPES,
IT COULD MEAN THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
- THE END OF THE UNIVERSE?
BECAUSE OF ME?
- YOU'VE GOT TO GET THE PIPES BACK.
GO.
- NO!
[groans]
HUH?
OKAY, YAOGUAI.
HAND OVER THE PIPES, OR I'LL...
DANGLE HERE HELPLESSLY.
[both laugh]
- THE PANDA'S IN LUCK.
HE'S GOT A FRONT-ROW SEAT.
- FRONT ROW FOR WHAT?
- THANKS TO HIM, WE HAVE ALL FIVE INSTRUMENTS NOW.
- THE PIPES, THE ERHU, A HARP, AND A HORN.
HA! LEARN TO COUNT, LOSERS.
YOU'RE STILL MISSING THE DRUM.
- ARE WE?
[drumbeats]
- HUH?
- THE FIVE INSTRUMENTS WERE CREATED
TO PLAY THE ETERNAL CHORD.
- BUT WE WILL ALTER THE MUSIC
AND USE THEM TO SUMMON THE ANTI CHORD.
both: HAIL-- - ANTI CHORD.
YEAH, I GOT IT. SAID THAT ALREADY...
A LOT.
- HE IS VERY HURTFUL.
- HE WILL PAY BY WATCHING
AS THE UNIVERSE IS UNCREATED BEFORE HIS EYES.
[drumbeats]
*
[thunder rumbles]
- THAT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.
[drumbeats]
*
- MASTER LUN, YOU'RE OKAY.
- THE HEALING POWER OF MUSIC, MY SON.
ALSO, I HAD A NAP.
HIYAH!
THERE. NOW STAY CLOSE.
- GREAT, I--HEY!
THREE MORE CUFFS HERE.
[traditional Asian music plays]
- OLD ONE.
- HE IS TOO LATE.
- [grunts] HA!
OW.
[thunder rumbles]
- THE GREAT DARKNESS GROWS,
AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT ALONE.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT A LITTLE BACKUP.
[flute plays]
- SHIFU!
- MIND IF I JAM WITH YOU?
- JUST DO WHAT YOU DO, BABY.
[up-tempo traditional Asian music plays]
*
[flute plays]
- DAH!
- [whimpering nervously]
- [playing chords]
*
- [laughs]
[both playing chords]
*
- [whimpering] - LOOK AT HIM FLAIL.
- WHOA. GOTCHA.
both: NO!
- STILL NO HARMONY, NO RHYTHM.
[heavy drumbeat] - AH!
[drumbeats]
*
- [scatting]
[thunder rumbles]
- THE DARKNESS-- IT'S RIGHT ON TOP OF US.
- [scatting]
- HIS GIBBERISH MAKES NO SENSE.
- MUSIC IS IN THE EAR OF THE BEHOLDER.
NOW DIG THIS.
[scatting]
both: HAIL ANTI-- [screaming]
- AH, THEY HAD A LOUSY BEAT AND WERE REALLY HARD TO DANCE TO.
- THE DARKNESS IS STILL COMING.
- [gasps] THE INSTRUMENTS-- PLAYED CORRECTLY,
THEY MAY BE ABLE TO DRIVE IT BACK.
WE MUST-- [screams]
- MASTER LUN!
- PO, HIT THE DRUM!
[drumbeats]
*
- THE PIPES-- WHERE ARE THEY?
- RIGHT HERE.
- PO, YOU'RE NOT READY!
- MAYBE NOT, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
[harmonious music plays]
*
I-I DID IT.
- THE ETERNAL CHORD...
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S-- [screams]
- SHIFU, NO!
[grunts]
OH, HOW COULD THAT NOT WORK? I NAILED THAT.
I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR. I--
- EACH NOTE IS DIFFERENT,
BUT NO NOTE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE REST.
IT'S ABOUT WORKING TOGETHER, BLENDING WITH THE OTHER NOTES...
IN HARMONY.
- [sings high note]
*
[Lun and Shifu screaming]
both: UGH!
- WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED?
- I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT.
YOU'VE CREATED A NEW SIXTH TONE, PO...
IN PERFECT HARMONY WITH THE UNIVERSE.
- DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, PANDA?
YOU'VE SAVED THE UNIVERSE.
NOT BAD.
- [chuckles] IT'S THE LEAST I COULD,
WHAT WITH, YOU KNOW, PUTTING IT IN JEOPARDY IN THE FIRST PLACE.
[laughs]
[playing horn]
*
- PO'S READY TO REJOIN YOUR TEAM, SHIFU.
HE'S BACK IN HARMONY.
- [plays off-key]
- IT'S HIS OWN HARMONY, BUT IT SEEMS TO WORK FOR HIM.
- STILL NEEDS WORK ON HIS TECHNIQUE, THOUGH.