VOICEOVER: And now, DreamWorks "Kung Fu Panda--
Legends of Awesomeness."
THEME SONG: Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda!
Raised in a noodle shop, never seeking glory or fame.
He climbed a mountaintop and earned the dragon warrior name.
Kung Fu Panda!
Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom
and master the skills of bodacious and awesome.
Kung Fu Panda!
He lives and he trains and he fights with the Furious Five.
Protect the valley, something something something something,
alive.
Kung Fu Panda!
Legends of awesomeness. Sweet.
PO (VOICEOVER): Hark now to my mouth words
as they tell a tale of the most amazing kung fu masters
in all the land!
Masters Tigress, Monkey, Crane, Viper, and Mantis,
the mind-blowing Furious Five!
One day, the land was besotten by an evil and stanky demon.
[ROAR]
Tigress pummelling him.
Mantis acu-smacked him.
Viper did that thing where she makes you hit yourself.
Crane summoned a mighty wind.
And Monkey's cunning brought the beast down!
The Furious Five totally rule!
Boring!
I know!
They-- wait. What?
We don't wanna hear Furious Five stories, Po.
But they're the reason I became a kung
fu master in the first place.
They also happen to be sitting at table six.
Uh, no offence, guys.
None taken.
Yeah, not humiliating in the least.
Guys.
Oh, who cares about them?
We wanna hear stories about you.
So this one time, I fought this overly aggressive hedgehog!
I know Po's a dragon warrior, but it'd
be nice to get a little more respect around here.
Where is the dragon warrior?
I challenge him to appear so that he
may face me-- the one who has challenged him to appear!
Um, there must be some mistake.
I specifically requested the dragon warrior.
You're dealing with us, Hundun.
Yeah, this isn't going to work for me.
I refuse to wreak further carnage until the dragon
warrior appears.
My time is valuable.
Tick tock, with the ticking and the tocking.
Well, this is a new low.
Guys?
-Finally, and at last! -Hundun!
OK, Hundun.
Time to rain the pain!
[CHEERING]
Whoa!
What the heck was that?
Exploding fire gems.
They were a gift from a friend that was also a acquaintance as
well as a chum.
Protect the villagers!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
What?
Oh.
Oopsie.
Oh, really?
What'd I miss?
The dragon warrior beat Hundun!
[CHEERING]
Unbelievable.
Hooray, Po!
This isn't over, or finished!
I swear vengeance.
I swear-- could you all step aside?
I'm trying to swear vengeance on the dragon warrior.
You guys were awesome.
Couldn't have done it without you.
You didn't do anything.
We saved the village.
And you get all the credit.
That's not true.
[CHEERING "PO! PO!"]
Could you guys lift him up triumphantly?
Beat it! We're not the Po- ets!
Guys, this is crazy.
You're still the revered Furious Five.
If you don't believe me, ask Shifu.
Master Shifu.
Not now, please.
I'm busy getting this new exhibit ready.
It commemorates Po's many accomplishments
since becoming dragon warrior.
What do you think?
I don't-- I don't like it.
It's, uh-- the, the colour scheme is all wrong.
And it's really un- feng shui- y.
So let's just, uh--
Po, what are you doing?
Po, stop.
I finally understand.
This isn't your fault.
Thank goodness you--
-It's yours. -Huh?
What are you talking about?
She's right.
It makes perfect sense. -Yeah.
You never commemorate our accomplishments.
And you keep rewarding Po no matter
how many times he messes up!
No wonder the villagers think we're a joke.
Guys, please.
This-- this is on me.
I'm a huge ham, you know this.
I admit it.
I just--
You dare question the way I've been running the Jade Palace?
Yes.
We have sweat and bled for you. -Yeah.
But since Po showed up, you treat
us like second-class warriors.
Stop acting like jealous children
just because Po's talent is more exceptional than yours.
[GASPS]
[LAUGHING] Relax, guys!
He didn't-- he didn't really mean that.
Right, Master? It's just a--
I meant every word.
Um, how can I put this nicely?
Jerk!
Enough.
This display is outrageous.
Head to the training hall and--
No.
We're done taking orders from you.
We-- we quit!
You what?
This is unheard of!
You'll be blacklisted from every kung fu temple in China!
Then we'll start our own temple.
Master!
You can't let this happen.
You've got to go after them.
And reward their ingratitude? Never.
You will pay for this indignity by repaying the debt
for which payment is due.
Quiet, you.
You ain't so tough without your fancy horn.
JUNJIE: I would advise you to release him.
Ah, my new friend, as well as my chum, my acquaintance--
They get the idea.
But for brevity's sake, you can call me Master Junjie!
Get him!
At last I am free to pursue the vengeance
which my lack of freedom had prevented me from pursuing.
And I found the path to that vengeance,
my chatty friend-- strife and division
within the Jade Palace itself!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Why is that funny?
Where are you going, Po?
Hi, guys.
Headed over to check out the Furious
Five's new kung fu temple. VILLAGERS: Boring.
That's not true.
I'm sure it's awesome.
And without me hogging the spotlight,
I bet they're having the time of their lives.
This is so dumb.
You're dumb!
[ARGUING]
Uh, guys?
Is everything OK?
Of course.
We were just discussing, as equals, with no bossy Master
calling all the shots, what the name of our new temple
should be.
We are going with the Temple of Monkey.
We didn't agree on that.
[ARGUING]
Guys, guys.
This is silly.
Just come back to the Jade Palace.
Why, when we've got our own awesome temple right here?
Excuse me, everyone.
Rent's due Thursday.
Actually, we're a little short.
No exceptions.
Clean up when you're done.
Ugh, fine.
Business is lousy.
Please, please come back.
You belong at the Jade Palace.
Ha!
Not going to happen.
Shifu does not appreciate us, and neither does this village.
But that is all gonna change.
Help, help! Emergency!
State your emergency, citizen.
It's my cousin, Jao.
He's coming in from out of town with his entire family.
I need catering for 30.
This looks like a job for Mr. Ping!
Clear your stuff out!
I've got a catering crisis.
Uh, Master Shifu, can we talk?
Oh, Po.
Good.
You can help me clear out some of this old junk.
Junk?
But this stuff belonged to the guys.
You can't just dump it.
I can, and I will.
But Master, no one really wants this.
Maybe if you just--
Just what?
Apol-- apol--
Apologise? Never.
I wouldn't take those ingrates back if my life depended on it.
But what if my life depended on it?
JUNJIE: The Five are confused and disorganised.
If we create havoc here, here, and here, we can divide them
and pick them off one by one.
Bah.
Why bother with the Five?
And sand?
They are nothing, less than nothing,
and whatever is less than that.
Fool!
How many times have the Five swooped
in to save the accursed panda?
With them gone, we can finally get rid of him! [EVIL LAUGHTER]
I'm sorry, I still don't see what's funny.
(WHISPERING) Look. Here they come.
Wait.
It's Shifu as well, and also.
Hello Mas-- Mister.
Oh, hello.
Po told me to meet him here at noon.
He told us the same thing.
New plan.
Using stealth and cunning, we can slip
up behind them with these--
PO: Help!
Runaway fireworks cart!
Help!
Oh no, my foot is stuck!
Only the furious five can save me now!
Great job.
Totally realistic.
Just keep pushing.
All righty.
New new plan.
-This is getting complicated. -Guys!
Master Shifu! Quick!
Put aside your differences and work together to save me!
Are we really supposed to buy that?
Oh, he obviously set it up.
Just ignore him.
You can't tell us what to do anymore.
Let's go help him.
Look, everyone!
The amazing Furious Five are saving me!
This fake rescue thing is really insulting, Po.
We don't need your charity. -Charity?
Why, whatever are you talking about, valiant warriors?
Ugh, fine.
I was only trying to--
Fruit stand!
Wig cart!
Pillow shop!
Check out the Furious Five!
What a bunch of clowns!
The dragon warrior saved them!
-Mister, I-- that is, we-- -You see?
If you had listened to me, you wouldn't
have embarrassed yourselves.
Embarrassed our-- oh, you are just loving this, aren't you?
I--
-How could you? -How dare you?
-Back off! -I can't believe this!
Guys, please.
We can find a way to patch things up.
Forget it, Po.
We're done with Shifu and this village.
PO: Master!
I think we need a new new new new plan now.
We don't need to do a thing.
Shifu and the dragon warrior have done our work for us.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
I just-- I just, I don't get it, I--
How could you just let them leave town?
Who needs them?
We do!
The best part of living at the Jade Palace
was that we were a family.
All that's ruined now.
JUNJIE: Oh, I love it when things
turn out the way you plan.
-Junjie! -Po!
Too bad.
Looks like your Master won't be here to see our final triumph.
And your final demise!
JUNJIE: Hear ye, hear ye.
You are all cordially invited to witness the end of the dragon
warrior, to be followed by the destruction
of your entire village!
Then, dancing and light refreshments.
You can't destroy the whole village.
--[EVIL LAUGHTER] That's where you're wrong.
Hundun and I have placed barrels of fire gems
throughout the village to be detonated by these fuses.
And now for my rampage.
I'm rampaging! Yeah!
[SCREAMING]
Great.
No one will hire us to do anything.
What are we gonna do?
Well, what do you suggest?
Go crawling back to Shifu?
Or, we could do it the other way around.
What happened to you?
Junjie happened.
And Hundun.
They took advantage of your absence.
Well, good thing you've got the mighty dragon warrior.
See ya!
Wait.
Po's been captured.
He needs you.
The village needs you.
I need you.
You were right.
I have favoured Po.
But it was only because he needed
more help than the rest of you.
Much more help.
So what are you trying to say?
That I-- apol-- apol-- apol-- apol-- apol--
apol-- apol-- apol-- apol--
Spit it out!
I apologise.
Uh, wait! I--
Oh, stop stalling.
The five won't swoop in to save you this time.
You and Shifu have made sure of that!
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
OK, see?
Now I get it. -Ready?
Aim.
TIGRESS: Attack!
-Uh, don't you mean fire? -No!
He was supposed to be gone!
Forget about me.
Stop the fuses!
Fire gem bombs, village go boom! Move!
No!
Destroy him!
It's over, you two.
Is it?
Blast them!
Shifu!
Looks like somebody swallowed their pride.
Looks like somebody swallowed a horse.
Sorry, that was uncalled for.
He's gonna blow!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha-- oh.
Not funny.
Oh-- ugh.
Did you see that?
The Furious Five saved the entire village.
[CHEERING]
Yeah!
Well done, my friends.
Your skill and courage have triumphed once again.
Um, I think I may need medical attention.
I feel kind of woozy.
Thank you, Master.
And forgive us.
We'd be nothing without your love and guidance.
No.
It is I who would be nothing without you.
Yay.
[THEME MUSIC]