NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks Kung Fu
Panda-- Legends of Awesomeness.
THEME SONG: Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda!
Raised in a noddle shop, never seeking glory or fame.
He climbed the mountaintop and earned the Dragon Warrior name.
Oh, ah, ya!
Kung Fu Panda!
Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom
and master the skills of bodacious and awesome.
Kung Fu Panda!
He lives and he trains and he fights with the Furious Five.
Protect the valley something, something,
something, something alive.
Oh, ah, ya!
Kung Fu Panda-- Legends of Awesomeness.
Sweet. [MUSIC PLAYING]
[FIGHTING]
Ugh!
Ah!
Give me the black boom boom powder and I will leave you.
But then I'd miss our special time together.
Ya!
You are such a charmer.
Hya!
Ah! -Ya!
Just wanna-- Aah!
The powder will be mine.
Ugh!
Guh!
Careful or these barrels will go boom.
Ugh!
You mean boom boom.
The emphasis is on the second boom.
-Ah! -Ugh!
Hya!
Dragon Warrior!
Uh, kind of in the middle of something here.
Ugh!
It's terrible. We need--
Could you duck down for a sec?
We need your--
Uh, hold that thought.
[GRUNTING]
OK, what was that?
We need your help.
There's this new kid in town named
Kong who's been teasing us.
We don't know what to do.
Why aren't you fighting?
I thought we were fighting.
Some kid has been picking on my Panda Pals here.
[GROWL]
[INAUDIBLE].
But you've sworn to destroy the Jade Palace.
Yes, but I do so with respect.
It's the proper way to behave! -Ugh!
Good advice.
Uh.
Ha, ha.
-Ugh. -Ha!
-Hya! -Ugh!
Uh-oh.
Huh!
We'll lock the rest of these barrels
in the storehouse where they'll be safe.
Sorry.
Why would Temutai want so much black powder anyway?
Uh, because it goes boom boom?
Po, what do we do?
We want to be brave but we're too scared.
Guys, being brave doesn't mean not being scared.
Being brave means doing what you've got to do
even though you are scared.
-Have you ever been scared, Po? -Pfft.
No, of course not.
I'm the Dragon Warrior.
ALL: Ugh.
But how can you not be scared when things are scary?
I think my story can best be expressed with a story.
(VOICEOVER) When I was young I wasn't the most coordinated guy
around.
It was what my dad called my graceful years.
[SHATTERING GLASS]
Anyway, there was this huge kid named Pan Feng.
He was huge, angry, and huge, and he
had huge razor sharp claws and huge muscles
and they were really--
LAM (VOICEOVER): Huge?
PO (VOICEOVER): Yup.
Pan Feng knew all the bully moves.
The wet willy, the purple nurple,
the great wall of wedgie.
He'd call me names and tease me in front of the other kids.
[LAUGHTER]
So I got up, looked Pan Feng straight in the eye--
And?
And what?
There wasn't really an ending.
And now I'm the Dragon Warrior.
How's that for an ending?
Hmm.
Not my favourite.
Boo.
[SCOFFS]
Guys, this Kong will fold if you just stand up to him
and show him a little teeth.
Heh.
-Not that way. -Huh.
Ha. Better-ish.
Now just let him know that you're not scared of him.
But we are scared of him.
But he doesn't need to know that.
Besides, we'll be hiding right around the corner.
[CRYING]
Cut it out.
[CRYING]
[WHIMPERING]
The babies are back.
Don't step in the puddle because you might drown because you're
short like how babies are.
[GROWLS]
[WEAK GROWLING]
What?
What do you-- is something funny?
No, no, no. Like this.
[GROWLS]
[WEAK GROWLING]
The babies want to play pat-a-cake.
No, no, no.
That's not-- oh.
It's like this.
[GROWLS]
Keep your bodyguard away.
Don't let him hurt me. -What?
No, I'm showing-- -Dad.
Daddy!
Help!
Ah!
Right.
Exactly how I planned.
Anywho, looks like he won't be bothering you again.
Thanks, Po.
No problem.
Just listen to your fearless Dragon Warrior and everything
will be A-OK.
KONG: That's him dad!
Oh, angry dad time. No worries.
P-- P-- P-- Pan Feng?
The bunny is your bully?
Really?
P-- p-- p-- aah!
I should have known.
Ah!
Old klutzy Po gets his kicks now by scaring little kids.
I-- I--
Let's see how tough you are when you pick
on someone your own size, huh? -OK.
OK.
Just-- just calm down, Pan Feng.
I don't want any trouble.
Too bad because trouble is what you got.
[SCREAMS]
Rah!
[SCREAMS]
Psych!
Ha!
Still the same old scaredy Po.
Pan-- Pan Feng.
What are you doing here?
Brought my boy back to check out the old hometown.
Added bonus?
Now he'll get to see me pick your sorry tail too.
Nya!
Ah!
Uh!
Boo.
[PANTING]
Hey, Pan Feng.
Maybe you haven't heard but I am the Dragon Warrior.
Wha!
Huh!
Mya!
You'll always be klutzy Po no matter what
your title, unless that title is Dragon Dorkier.
Zing.
Ah!
I got something for ya.
It's the purple nurple.
Not the nurple.
When I get through with that panda--
[YELLING]
[GASP]
A purple nurple.
Ah!
My nurples!
They're purple!
Ha, ha.
-Po, use your kung fu. -Hya!
Mongolian burn. -Ah!
A wet willy?
Aah!
This is getting embarrassing.
-Getting? -Come on.
This is Po's battle.
We can't fight it for him.
[PO YELLING]
[LAUGHTER]
Ugh!
Great wall of wedgie!
[SCREAMING]
Hm.
Ha! Nurples!
[SIGH]
Man, that was the most embarrassing thing
that's ever happened to me.
Mm, not really.
Not even in the top 10.
Po, what's the matter with you?
You could have taken that guy in half a second.
I don't know.
He makes me feel like I did when I was little.
Helpless.
I thought you stood up to him when you were a kid.
I did.
(VOICEOVER) For a second.
Then-- then I ran and hid in the turnip bin for a couple years
until his family moved away.
So the fearless Dragon Warrior has been scared.
No.
I was just off put.
What are you going to do, Po?
Avoid Pan Feng for the rest of your life?
Just until he leaves town.
I wonder if I can still fit in that turnip bin.
Po.
You're right.
First place he'll look.
Good tip, Craniac.
Ugh. Great job, Po.
Publicly humiliated, dishonoured the Jade Palace,
still feel like a child inside-- SHIFU: Panda.
Ah! Pan Feng!
No.
Clearly you haven't dealt with the issues
of your youth, panda.
Its normal to be scared.
I-- I'm not scared.
I'm ashamed.
Pan Feng beat me in front of the whole village.
You were not defeated by Pan Feng.
You were defeated by yourself.
Then myself is a short rabbit with a bad attitude.
Man, if there was only some way to get my mojo back.
Temutai's in the village.
He's after the black powder.
That's great.
I mean, I know I can beat Temutai.
Knocking him silly is just what the not scared panda ordered.
ALL: Ugh!
Ugh! Ugh!
[SIGH]
Give me that. Ah!
Amateurs.
PO: Don't you ever know when to give up, Temutai?
No, but you won't stop me so easily this time,
Dragon Warrior.
You haven't seen my secret weapon.
Ah.
Pan Feng?
That's Pan Feng?
Yeah, don't get me started.
Come on.
Let's see some of those awesome moves.
Huh? Huh?
Dragon Bore-ior!
Double zing.
P-- p--
[SCREAMS] -Ah!
Ah! BOTH: Ugh!
Oh!
[SCREAMING]
Once a klutz always a klutz.
Always perhaps, but not for long.
Ugh.
Rah!
God, this is just sad. Let us go!
The black boom boom powder is mine.
Soon you will all bow before Temutai,
Warrior King of the Chitan!
[LAUGHS]
See you around, Dragon Snore-ier!
Triple s--
Moment's passed.
Hmm.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
The good news is even when you're
acting like a snivelling little crybaby
you still pack a wallop.
Well, excuse me for looking at the bright side.
I still don't see why you're scared of Pan Feng.
He's so tiny.
Nice.
Who said I was scared?
I was just a bit high spirited.
This-- this will all be over soon.
We just got to wait until Pan Feng leaves town.
And if he doesn't leave town?
What do you-- what do you mean?
Pan Feng is bent on your utter humiliation.
If the other villains catch wind of his power over you--
Uh-oh.
Master, what can we do?
The five of you head after Temutai.
Po, there's something I'd like to show you that I think
will help you face your fear.
Ooh, is it a magic sword? No, wait.
Magic orb?
Magic stool?
Magic shoes?
If it's magic shoes I'm a 13 wide.
I mean, I can squeeze into a 12 and 1/2 but--
Just follow me.
Is it magic pine sap?
Magic seeds?
Magic chopsticks?
Magic dumplings?
Oh, I hope it's magic dumplings.
[SIGHS]
May I present Lam, Chen, and Yang.
Uh, Master Shifu?
Not one of your better cryptic moments.
You're going down.
ALL: Ah!
Kong!
ALL: Ah!
You're it!
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
So you guys are friends now, huh?
I thought you were afraid of him?
We were, but we talked to him anyway and it wasn't that bad.
I'm an acquired taste.
It was just like you said, Po.
Good.
Wait, what did I say?
Being brave doesn't mean not being scared.
Being brave means doing what you've got to do
even though you are scared. -Wow.
I'm pretty smart.
I should listen to me more often.
Hey, let's go play at the Jade Palace.
-Going somewhere, panda? -Yeah.
To settle an old score. -Excellent.
I'll go-- [GLASS BREAKING]
KONG: Ha, ha ha! Doofus!
[SIGH]
--up to the Jade Palace to make sure
Kong doesn't break anything.
-So how about it ladies? -Hmpf.
Well, look who decided to show up.
Bleh.
OK.
Pan Feng?
This has gone on long enough. Yeah, OK.
I-- I'm scared of you.
I admit it.
But this thing between you and me ends today.
Yeah!
Uh, sorry.
I knew this day would come.
The day when I finished you forever.
Rah!
Aah!
Ah!
Ugh!
Try fighting this noogie attack.
Wah!
[PANTING]
Nya!
Ugh!
Wah!
Wet willy!
Ugh!
Ah!
[PANTING]
Hya!
[PANTING] -Ah!
Great wall of wedgie!
[LAUGHTER]
Just like old times, hey Po?
Wait, what's that?
Quit trying to distract me.
I'm trying to focus on my work.
[YELLING]
Temutai.
What kind of fiendish fiendosity are you-- ah!
Po can't talk right now.
He's got a prior engagement with some soon to be purple nurples.
Ah!
Oh, to be young again.
Prepare the rocket.
Ah!
[PANTING]
Wait a second.
That rocket's aimed at [GASP] the Jade Palace.
Big whop.
Ha, ha, ha.
-Time for your nurple. -Enough!
I may be afraid of you but I'm not
going to let that get in the way of me
doing what I've got to do.
Ah! Ugh!
Temutai's gonna blow up the Jade Palace with Shifu,
the kids, and Kong with it. -Kong?
So you gonna quit being a jerk and help me or what?
The Jade Palace is finished.
[GIBBERISH]
Ugh! Ah!
Blah!
Po!
Ah!
BOTH: Great wall of wedgie! -Ah!
No!
-Ah -Nya.
Ah!
Pan Feng!
The fin!
Grr! Gah!
Grah! Ah!
Gah.
-Ah! -Hya!
Ah!
BOTH: Yes!
No! -Jump!
Blah. Pillows here.
Get your-- blah-- pillows here.
Blah. -Ugh.
Buy pillows here.
Are we alive?
Uh, sure hope not.
Any moment now we will hear the glorious boom boom of the Jade
Palace's destruction.
Hmm. Typical.
I hate that panda!
Ugh.
Ugh, heh.
ALL: Po!
Dad!
Kong!
Po, you did it.
You got past your fear.
Yeah, afraid of a teeny weeny, tiny, little thing.
You are playing a dangerous game, lady.
Thanks, guys.
I'm sorry I bullied you, Po.
I guess I was always jealous that the other kids
liked you better than me.
Can you ever forgive me?
Sure.
But there is one thing.
[SIGH]
I've got it coming to me.
Do your worst.
He, he, he.
Purple nurple!
[SCREAMS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]