WAR ON THE PIRATES
Lucía, stop swearing.
What's wrong?
The Americans think the rest of us are just scratching our balls.
I'm going for smokes.
Goodbye.
Exactly.
-Correct, sir? -Correct.
A submarine expedition to the wreckage, sir.
That again?
This ministry doesn't have the technology or the money
for a CSI mission more than 1,000 meters underwater!
And you know it.
We need the army for that!
We have nothing, as usual.
To hell with culture!
And you think they'll give it to us?
They will.
We exposed their tricks, they can't keep fooling us.
-Lucía... -Yes.
-Prepare a formal request. -Of course.
What can I say, my friend...
You have no idea how happy I am that finally,
finally someone listened to me
and you guys are grabbing the bull by the horns.
Shut up, Rex! I don't know if I told you how many times
I went to the Civil Guard and got completely ignored.
Rex, are you deaf or what?
Okay, Horacio, thank you very much.
Don't worry, okay? I'll keep you posted.
-My best regards.-And mine, my friend!
You can't be so diplomatic, Alex, especially with pests like this guy.
He's been such a huge help, I feel bad not taking his calls.
Look how late it is. I'm not making dinner tonight.
Really?
I'm exhausted. And people say civil servants don't work hard...
And you're going to bed without dinner?
-You really don't have to... -It will only take a second.
Make yourself at home.
Yesterday I made
lasagna.
You like lasagna, right?
Without meat.
I'm a vegetarian.
Hey, your place is cool.
Yeah, well...
Today it's kind of a mess.
That's what's cool about it. I didn't expect this from you.
I saw your Cousteau DVDs.
Oh, yeah. We can have a "Cousteau night" anytime.
One of these days.
That's not exactly a very convincing answer.
True.
Just an invite among colleagues.
-I don't want you to think I'm... -What?
That it's a date?
Yeah.
I mean, no.
What I mean is, you might have a boyfriend. I don't know.
No, it's not that.
-You don't have a boyfriend? -No.
Well...
No.
Does saying no twice mean yes?
Well, I just broke up with someone.
It's all still very recent
and the last thing I feel like doing is going out for a drink.
I'm sorry.
How long were you together?
Eight years.
And what happened?
-If you want to tell me. -I backed out.
My ex wanted to get married, start a family...
The usual.
That doesn't sound so bad.
That's what everybody wants.
What everybody wants?
Can you really imagine me knocked up?
A mother with two kids, juggling work and diapers?
-Not really. -That's right.
Forget all the biological clock and maternal instinct crap.
I don't know.
I must be crazy because what appeals to me is total freedom.
I want to travel, I want to learn,
I want to have fun and I need
time for myself.
So down deep...
What?
Well, you're a pirate.
I get scared sometimes, believe me.
I think I should go back to her
and start a family.
Follow the herd.
Her?
Yeah, my girl, my ex.
Hey, this salad is delicious.
-Yes?-What's up, sir?
Diego.
In the flesh! I changed my number.
Right.
Long time.
Well, not so long. Since graduation.
Why don't we meet for lunch and catch up?
Right now is tight for me, we're very busy at the Ministry with...
I know, the Atlantis thing. That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
I have some gossip.
And you know how I like gossip, buddy!
Okay, well...
I'll call you and we'll meet up. I'll let you know this week.
Okey-dokey. But call me, eh?
Yeah, I will. I'll call you. Bye.
-See you later. -Bye.
DIEGO THE PEST
Of course we can.
It's still docked in Gibraltar, but it has to move some time.
Thanks.
We need to involve the Civil Guard. Find any excuse to intercept it.
Wait. You want them to detain and search an American ship?
They've done it before but always too late.
This time: surprise effect.
Look, Lucía, we're about to...
DIEGO THE PEST
We're beginning an incredibly sensitive trial on U.S. territory.
Washington would not like such a move.
Then fuck Washington.
What? That's not how things work.
Oh, that's right. Not in your world of "international balance."
Alex, are you a diplomat
or a chicken?
Because from here on that's the point.
Having balls, or, better said,
ovaries. -Look.
Right now I prefer to explore other options, all right?
Perfect, dude.
You get the inventory your way, I'll get it my way.
Enjoy.
No balls, she says...
The nutcase.
And there I go, hitting on her...
No balls...
I'll show you.
-Yes? -Horacio, good evening.
Sorry to call so late, it's about your sister Pilar.
Have you got a second?
My man!
For you, a second or two hours if necessary.
-Forget it! -Listen to me, Pili!
I already said no!
I'm asking as your brother!
No!
Then do it for that nice, slick kid at the Ministry.
Do it for Spain.
This is a country matter, dammit.
Read my lips, Horacio.
The country: I don't give a rat's ass...
They just did it again, Captain.
They just crossed the line, gentlemen.
Go after them, Captain!
-Go after them. -Yes, sir, Captain.
Attention, this is the Civil Guard.
You're entering Spanish territorial waters.
Stop your motors.
I repeat, stop your motors.
This is the Civil Guard. You're in Spanish territorial waters.
Stop your motors. I repeat, stop your motors.
They're going to ram us.
Watch out, watch out!
This is the Civil Guard. We are boarding your vessel.
For your own safety, do not resist.
Do not resist.
We are boarding your vessel.
Do not resist.
The Pioneer was detained by Spanish police this morning...
They handed it to us on a platter.
I never thought they'd be so dumb.
Fuck them.
Sorry, Minister.
What a bitch.
So are you going to tell him or am I?
-What? -Nothing.
Not a single document.
And the whole crew was replaced by Eastern European sailors
who know nothing about the case.
-But then... -It was a trap, sir.
Now we're the pirates.
It's all over the international press.
At least we managed that.
Go ahead.
Who?
No shit.
Yeah.
Request the car, yes.
The President.
He wants to see me at the palace. Right now.
No, you two can stay. It won't be my office for long anyway.
Lucía...
I'm sorry, damn.
Don't cry...
Only you would have a cloth handkerchief.
What's wrong?
You know you can tell me anything.
It's nothing, Alex. It's just that...
I fight my way through life, damn it,
trying to make things work.
Well,
work out my way.
And then I think I'm actually screwing it all up.
I don't understand. Screwing up what?
-You mean this? -I mean everything,
Alex. I mean everything.
Look,
I'm not a psychologist.
And your life is yours to live, obviously, but...
I will say one thing.
Who is infallible here?
Look at me, trying to do things my way
and I screw up all the time. Because we're human.
Thanks, Alex, but this is the last thing I need right now.
What is?
A guy being condescending with me.
What is your problem?
Why are you always so defensive around me?
I'm not being condescending, Lucía. I'm...
I'm telling you the truth.
You think I got the inventory? Well, I didn't.
In fact, I got jack shit.
Okay, Alex.
That's right, fucking jack shit!
Don't talk like that, it doesn't suit you.
What do you expect?
I spend all day with you. Fuck!
-Fuck... -Fuck!
Shit, bitch!
Feel better now, or what?
Yeah.
Fuck, this guy again. I've been avoiding him for months.
Just get rid of him. No more diplomacy.
-Diego.-What's up, man?
You never called me.
No, I've been really busy.
Nevermind. Lunch today?
Now?
-Yeah, I'm downstairs. -"No."
You're downstairs?
Welcome, Minister.
The President is waiting.
I hope you can help him, eh, Enrique?
Schmuck.
-...no capers, can't stand them. -No prob.
And then the pizza diavola, but not spicy. Without salami
and double cheese instead, if you don't mind.
Oh, and a glass of red wine, but a nice one, not the house red.
I'll bring a Rioja.
And two more beers. These two evaporated.
Diego, I have to get back to the Ministry.
You said you had some gossip about Atlantis...
Okay... This is confidential, okay?
I'm telling you
because we're friends and because you're involved.
You know I love gossip, but I don't go around...
Yeah, yeah.
-Tell me. -Okay.
Did you ever hear about the flights to Mallorca after 9-11?
They stopped over in the middle of the night
and nobody knew from where or where they were going.
-The CIA flights, right? -Exactly.
They were transporting terrorists captured
in Pakistan and Afghanistan to Guantanamo.
Straight there, no paperwork.
I read an article about it.
Well, it turns out the guy who arranged the stopovers
was an American tour operator living in Gibraltar.
A guy named Spencer Davies, who made a bundle off it.
Diego...
-Where does Atlantis come in? -Wait.
I have a friend in Gibraltar who, two summers ago,
went to one of his barbecues.
Nice time, eh? Swimming pool, plenty of beer...
Then some guys from a ship
who you could tell had been there many times
start bragging about some "secret" job they had worked on.
-Worked on for who? -Right, my friend listened in,
because of the Guantanamo thing, but that's all they said.
Tomatoes and the Greek salad.
Thank you.
The thing is, they took a photo.
And take a look.
There they are:
-Spencer Davies... -And Wild!
With his crew, the ones who were bragging.
Do you know who this woman is?
No idea.
Hey, I said no capers!
Horacio!
What a mess, worse every day.
Hey, I'm not...!
Horacio, who did this?
What happened?
-I knew it. -Knew what?
Matter of the State.
I think they're all involved, sir:
our secret services, the CIA... Everyone.
Yes. That explains why the ambassador dared to talk to me that way.
This stinks.
Still, no one's fired you yet, sir.
Okay, but from now on, need to know only, Mazas.
I'm serious, even between us.
By the way, where are we going? I have nothing scheduled this morning.
What did I just say? Need to know...
-...only. -Good.
Sit in front.
Relax, eh? You'll like it.
All good?
-Huh? -Everything okay?
I've never been on a helicopter.
Oh, OK. Ever been on a plane?
-Yes. -Fine, then.
This here is... something else!
Minister, welcome.
The Commander is waiting.
Our ROV is the latest generation. It has three terminals.
And what does that mean?
If there's anything down there, we'll find it.
I bet you Atlantis never expected us to do it.
A submarine expedition... and with the Navy!
Here we go.
Send down Triton.
Yes, sir, Commander.
Commencing Triton descent.
200 meters.
400 meters.
850 meters.
I don't see anything.
-Patience. -930.
1010.
1015.
We've almost touched bottom.
Turn 45 degrees west.
Slow down.
Bottom.
We should be right above the wreckage.
-Initiate multi-tracking. -Yes, sir, Commander.
Activating Triton 2
and Triton 3.
They didn't leave anything.
-What do you mean? -Not a single coin.
Nothing.
Then how will we identify La Fortuna?
I can't believe it. They tricked us again!
What's that white thing there?
That.
Correct 1.
Yes, sir, Commander.
A skull.
Those are our dead.
Our dead.
You're sending them to her, aren't you?
-Who? -Lucía.
Correct.
Bad idea. You heard the Minister, no leaks.
She would have liked to be here. Even if it wasn't much help.
I have a feeling this was our last chance.
Anyway... We think we're smarter than them.
Hey, one thing.
Have you two hooked up or something?
-What are you saying? -I didn't think so.
You and her...
You mean what would I be doing with...?
I didn't want to say it, but...
she's at least 15 years older than you. For her, you're just a kid.
Sure. The age difference.
Right.
It hadn't occurred to me.
We're ready, let's go.
Come on or he'll leave us here.
-Still here, Pilar? -I'm almost finished.
-I'm leaving. -See you tomorrow.
No, I'm off tomorrow. See you Wednesday, after the holiday.
Have a nice time with your family.
-Thanks. -Bye.
Goodbye!
"Everything, everything. Take photos of everything."
We compared it to the inventory of La Fortuna
and it's a perfect match.
Then this time we've got them! Right?
Jonas and his team say that with this we're ready for trial.
Now we can win this thing, dammit!
I know what I said about confidentiality between us, but...
Can I ask you how you got this?
No.