ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ): AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
* OH...
* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE. *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH... *
* SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS! *
* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* READY? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION ( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( buzzing )
( with French accent ): AH.
IT IS THE EARLY MORNING IN BIKINI BOTTOM
WHEN THE JELLYFISH ARE BUZZING ABOUT
MAKING THEIR JELLYFISH JELLY.
OH, WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?
COLLECTORS?
( chirps happily )
( loud, thrash music plays )
( music stops abruptly )
( howling in pain )
( music resumes )
( buzzing approaches )
( singing nonchalantly )
SpongeBob: I THINK I GOT IT.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
( electricity crackling, Patrick yelps )
Both: GO, GO, GO, GO!
( buzzing angrily )
Both: OOH! OUCH! OOH-OOH!
( buzzing continues )
OOH! OUCH!
HMM.
HEY, SQUIDWARD.
WE'RE JELLYFISHING.
( groans )
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
BYE, NOW.
WAIT!
WE MADE A NET ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH US?
REALLY?
JELLYFISHING WITH YOU GUYS?
OH, THAT WOULD BE THE BEST DAY EVER IN MY BOOK.
I WOULD LOVE TO GO JELLYFISHING.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I'D LOVE TO DO MORE ON MY DAY OFF
THAN GO JELLYFISHING
WITH MY TWO BEST FRIENDS
SPONGEBOB AND... UH...
PATRICK.
RIGHT.
BUT I CAN'T, BYE-BYE.
NEXT TIME?
OH, SURE.
RIGHT.
WHATEVER.
( to himself ): LIKE THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN.
YOU KNOW, PATRICK, IT ALWAYS SEEMS
LIKE SQUIDWARD NEVER HAS TIME FOR FUN.
MAYBE HE DOESN'T LIKE US.
NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE'RE HIS BEST FRIENDS.
( laughing nastily )
JELLYFISHING!
( laughs and snorts )
( sarcastically ): OH, I'LL GO.
( laughs )
I SURE HAD THEM GOING.
( cackles )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( laughing )
( buzzing )
( gags )
STUPID JELLYFISH, BEAT IT!
WHOA!
WHOA... WHA... WHA...
OW! OOH! WHOA!
AH! OOH! AH! OOH!
( screams )
( explosion )
OW.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
SQUID'S BACK.
( phone ringing )
HELLO.
HEY, PATRICK, SQUID'S HOME
AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE SURE
HE'S GREETED BY HIS TWO BEST FRIENDS.
OH, GREAT, WHO ARE THEY?
US.
LET'S GO.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( noisemakers blare )
WELCOME HOME, SQUIDWARD!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
SpongeBob: WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS
YOUR BEST DAY EVER!
( motor revs )
WELL, YOUR BEST DAY'S
SURE NOT GOING TO BE OUT THERE.
HOW ABOUT SOME SOUP ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
HERE WE GO.
( mumbles in protest )
OH, IT'S A LITTLE HOT.
( Squidward groans in pain )
HUH!
( blows strongly )
( moans )
( blows strongly )
( whimpers )
( inhaling deeply )
I-I-I DON'T THINK SOUP IS
THE BEST THING FOR HIM
ON HIS BEST DAY EVER.
HOW ABOUT SOME MUSIC ON YOUR BEST DAY EVER?
PLAYED ON YOUR VERY OWN CLARINET?
( takes a deep breath )
( reedy, squeaky blare )
SORRY, MY LIPS ARE A LITTLE DRY.
( smacks lips together )
( clears throat, licks lips wetly )
( licking lips wetly and noisily )
( blows raspberry )
MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
( takes a deep breath )
MUSIC ISN'T BEST, EITHER.
BUT WHAT IS BEST
IS WHAT WE SAVED FOR LAST--
THE ONE SURE-FIRE THING TO MAKE YOUR BEST DAY EVER
THE BEST DAY EVER.
SpongeBob and Patrick: JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!
THIS IS JELLYFISH FIELDS
WHERE WILD JELLYFISH ROAM JUST WAITING TO BE CAPTURED.
( wheelchair motor whirring )
NO, NO, SQUID, OVER HERE.
I KNOW YOU'RE EAGER
BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE YOUR NET.
PATRICK, FIX HIM UP
WHILE I FIND HIM A GOOD SPECIMEN.
FIRMLY GRASP IT IN YOUR HAND.
FIRMLY GRASP IT.
FIRMLY GRASP IT!
( loud crunch )
( muffled howling )
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
( jellyfish buzzing )
THERE'S ONE IN POSITION.
READY...
SET...
GO! GO, SQUID! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT.
GO, SQUID! GO, SQUIDDER!
GO, GO, GO! YES, YOU GOT IT!
GET IT, SQUIDDER!
I THINK WE BETTER SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DONE.
( to the tune of "On the Beautiful Blue Danube" ): * DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM
* DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM...
( in deeper voice ): * DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM...
* DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM.
( buzzes melody )
Both: * DA-DA-DA-DA-DUM...
* DA-DA-DA
* DA-DA-DA-DA-DA- DA-DUM-DA-DUM-DUM. *
( SpongeBob and Patrick yelling in pain, jellyfish buzzing )
( jellyfish buzzing )
( electricity crackling )
( snarls )
OOH! OOH! OW! OW! OW!
OOH! OOH!
HEY, LOOK, SQUID'S DOING IT.
GO, SQUID, GET 'EM, SQUID! SQUIDSTER, YOU'RE DOING IT!
Patrick: GO SQUID!
( wheelchair motor whirring )
( wheelchair stops abruptly )
( whirring resumes )
( muffled ): AHA!
( muffled cackling )
( whimpers )
THIS GUY'S GOOD.
HE'S A NATURAL.
SpongeBob: YOU GOT IT!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
Patrick: GO, SQUID, GO!
KEEP DOING IT, SQUID.
SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING?
YEAH, YOU GOT IT, SQUID.
GO, SQUID, GO!
USE THAT NET.
BE THE NET.
YEAH, YOU'RE FEELING IT, SQUID.
ALL THE WAY, TAKE HIM ALL THE WAY.
GO, GO, GO.
YOU GOT 'EM NOW.
IT'S IN THE BAG!
THIS IS REALLY YOUR BEST DAY EVER, ISN'T IT?
( loud zap )
OOH. OOH.
( both groaning and wincing )
HEY, PATRICK.
WELL...
( hesitantly ): I THOUGHT YESTERDAY WENT PRETTY WELL, DON'T YOU THINK?
I HAD FUN.
ME, TOO.
HERE COMES SQUIDWARD.
OH, GREAT.
( hospital bed whirring )
HEY, SQUID, HOW ABOUT THAT...
BEST DAY EVER.
THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW.
WE'RE REALLY SORRY
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY, SQUIDWARD.
WE GOT YOU A PRESENT.
( buzzing )
SpongeBob: IT'S THE JELLYFISH.
YOU KNOW, FROM YESTERDAY.
YOU'RE NOT STILL MAD, ARE YOU?
YEP, HE'S STILL MAD.
( jellyfish buzzing angrily )
( hollering )
( cackling )
( giant jellyfish buzzing )
( stops laughing )
( zap )
( glass shatters )
OW.
Squidward: ONE CRABBY PATTY FOR TABLE TWO.
SPONGEBOB, I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE DAY!
OUI, OUI, UNE CRABBY PATTY, MONSIEUR.
THERE'S LES PATTY.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB!
NEXT, L'INGREDIENTS.
AH-WHEE!
LES MUSTARD.
WILL YOU QUIT FOOLING AROUND?!
WHERE'S MY CRABBY PATTY?
LES HOLD ON A SECOND.
AND VOILA.
IT'S UNDER YOUR NOSE!
( cackles )
( laughs )
YOU'RE KILLING ME, SPONGEBOB.
HA, HA!
YOU REALLY ARE.
SpongeBob: LOOK AT IT, SQUIDWARD--
MR. KRABS' GIFT TO ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM-- THE CRABBY PATTY.
OKAY, GIVE IT TO ME.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB, STOP IT!
I SWEAR, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
MR. KRABS!
THAT CRABBY PATTY IS HAUNTED!
AVAST, YE PATTY PIRATE!
THIS IS NO GHOST.
THIS IS...
PLANKTON!
STEALIN' ME BOOTY!
HEAR ME, KRABS-- WHEN I DISCOVER YOUR FORMULA FOR CRABBY PATTIES
I'LL RUN YOU OUT OF BUSINESS.
I WENT TO COLLEGE!
HEY!
LET ME GO!
OH, I'LL LET YOU GO, SQUIRT...
ON A FLYING SAUCER!
( laughs maliciously )
BACK TO THE CHUM BUCKET WITH YOU!
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, KRABS!
UH... PLANKTON, SIR?
AYE, HE'S BEEN TRYING
TO STEAL ME SECRET FORMULA FOR YEARS.
BUT YE HAVEN'T GOT IT YET, HAVE YE, BUG?
( both laugh )
( stops laughing )
OKAY.
ENOUGH, LAD, IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY.
GET BACK TO WORK!
SpongeBob: OKAY, MR. KRABS, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
GOOD NIGHT, ME BOY.
Plankton: PSST...
YOUNG MAN...
YES, OVER HERE.
COME ON, BOY, A LITTLE CLOSER.
CLOSER.
NOT THAT CLOSE!
AH!
YOU BLASTED BARNICLE HEAD!
I MEAN... HI!
PLANKTON?
OUCH!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I JUST WANT TO TALK.
YOU COULD SAY WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT?
UM... NO.
ACQUAINTANCES.
NO.
WELL, WE'RE BOTH INVERTEBRATES, AREN'T WE?
I... GUESS SO.
YOU SEE, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT.
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING IT IN MY SECRET COMPARTMENT.
CHING! SPARKLE, SPARKLE!
WOW! A GOLDEN SPATULA!
AND IT'S EVEN GOT MY NAME ON IT.
IT'S A GIFT.
A GIFT FROM A FRIEND.
FRIENDS GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS.
AND TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY.
( toots )
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE
MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD?
A BOOSTER SEAT?
BOOSTER SEAT? HOT DOG!
I MEAN, NO.
WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY FROM YOU, MY FRIEND
IS ONE OF THOSE...
TENDER... DELICIOUS...
CRABBY PATTIES.
( cries out )
YOU JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS
SO YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON A CRABBY PATTY!
AND I BET IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!
GEE, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE STUPID.
YOU'LL NEVER GET A CRABBY PATTY FROM ME!
EVEN IF WE ARE FRIENDS!
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!
OH, I'LL GET A CRABBY PATTY.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER IT TO ME PERSONALLY!
YOU WEAK-MINDED FOOL!
( dramatic film music plays )
SpongeBob: NIGHT, GARY.
( meows )
( snoring )
( chuckles )
SPONGEBOB, YOU WILL BE MINE.
Woman: * ...LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET, A, B, C... *
( dramatic film music plays )
IT SHOULD BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
BUT WHERE?
WHERE?
OH.
THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END.
( snoring )
OUCH!
STUPID BRAIN.
COME BACK HERE, YOU SWINE!
WHOA... OOF!
THAT'S IT, BRAIN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
YES, YES, THAT'S GRAND.
AND NOW, FOR MY VERY ELABORATE AND COLLEGE-EDUCATED PLAN.
AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE WAKEY-UPPY.
MORNING ALREADY?
I... I FEEL A LITTLE FUNNY TODAY.
YEAH, YEAH!
I HAVE YOU NOW.
TIME FOR A WELL-BALANCED BREAKFAST.
THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
LET ME JUST GRAB MY PANTS.
I GUESS I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS TODAY.
OOPS! I GUESS I'M NOT USING THE DOOR, EITHER.
SEE YOU LATER, GARY... I GUESS.
( Gary meows )
YOU'RE RIGHT, GARY, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!
SQUIDWARD! SQUIDWARD!
WAKE UP! I NEED SOME HELP!
SQUIDWARD! HELP!
BE QUIET, SPONGEBOB!
HELP!
SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M TALKING TO YOU!
SPONGEBOB, SPONGEBOB!
ARE YOU MAD?
( in Plankton's voice ): SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU MEDIOCRE CLARINET PLAYER.
MEDIOCRE?
YOU PRETENTIOUS LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT ARTIST.
YOUR SNIVELLY CREATIONS ARE WORTH LESS
THAN A PROTOZOAN'S WAIST.
( in his own voice ): SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH MY BRAIN!
( gasps )
PLANKTON!
WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?
NONSENSE! YOU NEVER LIKED ME, ANYWAY.
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!
( with Plankton voice ): NEVER! NEVER!
( laughs evilly )
( sighs )
( snoring )
TOOT, TOOT!
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TAKEOUT?
SpongeBob: NOPE, NO, NEVER!
( Plankton laughing evilly )
YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, PLANKTON.
YOU WANT THE CRABBY PATTY FORMULA!
Plankton: YOU ARE GOING TO HAND-DELIVER IT TO ME PERSONALLY.
NO, NO, NO!
THERE'S NO ONE HERE.
DON'T REMIND ME.
Plankton: BRACE YOURSELF, SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS MY LAB!
( barks )
AND THIS IS MY LABORATORY!
AND DID I EVER SHOW YOU MY RECORD PLAYER?
( dramatic film music plays )
I MUST FIGHT.
( mumbling nonsensically )
NO, NO, NO, NO!
( screams )
OW, OW, OW, OW!
Plankton: THERE, YOU SEE HOW MUCH EASIER IT IS
WHEN YOU HELP, FRIEND?
HOW DO YOU LIKE MY ANALYZER?
IT TELLS THE INGREDIENTS OF WHATEVER I PUT INTO IT.
Analyzer: Seaweed: 50% sea, 50% weed.
IMPRESSED?
NOW LET'S REVEAL THAT SECRET FORMULA.
AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY BROUGHT HOME A CRABBY PATTY.
THIS LITTLE PIGGY WILL HELP ME DROP IT IN.
ANY LAST WORDS, SPONGEBOB SECRETPANTS?
I... I...
I JUST HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY I LET MR. KRABS DOWN.
I LET ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM DOWN.
BUT WORST OF ALL, I LET YOU DOWN
YOU DELICATE LITTLE CRABBY PATTY.
MMM!
WITH YOUR TASTY, JUICY, SCRUMPTIOUS
WARM, STEAMY GOODNESS.
STEAMY!
SpongeBob: I'LL NEVER FORGET YOUR 100% ALL-SECRET PATTY
SECRETLY ASSEMBLED WITH UNDERSEA CHEESE
PICKLE, LETTUCE, TOMATO, ONION
ALL SECRETLY STEAMING
BETWEEN TWO FLUFFY SEAWEED-SEED BUNS.
YES... YES... YES!
COME TO PAPA!
OH, BOY.
( electricity crackles )
( analyzer beeping )
Plankton: One percent evil, 99% hot gas.
WELL, THIS STINKS.
WELL, PATTY, I GUESS WE CAN GO HOME NOW.
Plankton: SPONGEBOB, THAT'S MY CRABBY PATTY!
GIVE IT BACK, YOU POROUS FREAK!
I COMMAND YOU!
MY PATTY!
NO!!!
I'LL SETTLE FOR SOME FRIES.