?Are you ready, kids
:KIDS !Aye, aye, captain
.I can't hear you
:[louder ] !Aye, aye, captain
♪ ...Oh
♪ Who lives in a pineapple ?under the sea ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow .and porous is he ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be ...something you wish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Then drop on the deck .and flop like a fish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ ?Ready !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants
[laughs heartily ]
Captioning sponsored by THE] [U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION[ plays airy tune
[and NICKELODEON
[playing jazzy melody ]
[sour note sounding ]
!Order up, Squidward
[note coming from bell ]
[alarm ringing ]
,Hey, hey, Squidward ?did you see me
,Okay, see you later .Squidinater
,Good morning .Mr. Squidward
?So, are you ready
?To go home
No, to exchange gifts
for Employee .Brotherhood Day
Mr. Krabs, you pay me
to stand behind this register
and take orders and give change
but you could never pay me enough
...to act brotherly toward
!that guy
.Hmm
[laughs ]
That attitude of yours
is precisely why we're having this .little shenanigan
!Now, pay attention
The lad's got .a surprise for you
Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood
...I present to you a gift
!Ta-dah
:SQUIDWARD ".I heart you"
,Try it on !Mr. Squidward
It's got you .written all over it
I wasn't sure how big
to make the hole for the head
so I used a watermelon .for size
[straining ]
?Do you love it
.It's a little itchy
?What's this thing made of
!Eyelashes
[whimpers ]
Now, may I resume ?my minimum-wage duties
After you present .yourbrotherhood gift
I'll buy the little twerp .a gumball
;Oh, no, no, no, lad --you know the rules
you have to make .the gift
The only thing I'm making .is for the exit
,Is this any better ?Squidward
.I made this one with my tears
[groans ]
.I knew you'd come around, boy
.Make something nice
Why can't I just buy something ?for the little weirdo
:MAN !Heave ho
If you drop one single slice of me booty
!I'll have... your booty
[straining ]
.Hi, there
Those homemade pies .sure look good
.Oh, these aren't homemade
...They were made in a factory
.a bomb factory
.They're bombs
.Oh, well, that's too bad
I thought they were pies .and I wanted to buy one
!Wait
We were just kidding
about all that .bomb stuff
That'll be .25 bucks, please
?So, what flavor is it
.Cherry .Apple .Raspberry
Well, if it gets old man Krabs .off my back
,Okay, here it is Mr. Krabs
.fresh from the oven
I'll be returning .to my life now
!Not yet
I got to make sure .you did it right
...Wait a second
this would got great .with some milk
.Oop
[tremendous explosion ]
So, you tried to kill me
over a little new-age ?management, eh
,But Mr. Krabs .I had no idea
.I can explain
?Mr. Krabs, are you okay
!I heard a... wow
!A pie
.It's from Squidward
...To SpongeBob"
".Well, here you go
.And that's what happened
?25 dollars
?A bomb
:BOTH !?In the Krusty Krab
That's where .you left it
.It's not there
:SPONGEBOB .Hey, guys
.Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
.Thanks for the pie, Squidward
[singing ]
.You had to kill him
The boy cries you a sweater of tears
.and you kill him
How are you going ?to live with yourself
?Kill him
.Here's your order, sir
.Thanks
[explosion ]
...No, no, what we got
.we got to call the hospital
--Won't do any good .I've seen this before
When that pie --goes up to bat
I mean, hits his --lower intestine
!boom
!?You've seen this before
11 times, as .a matter of fact
[dialing ]
,Yes, hello ?doctor? Hospital
?It won't do any good
!?Eleven times
!Oh
.Oh, he's a goner
?How do we tell him
--Don't tell him
that'll only make him .feel worse
,The way I see it .he's only got till sunset
Why ruin his ?last day on Earth
The lad deserves .to enjoy his final hours
[SpongeBob singing ]
!You're right, Mr. Krabs
[sobbing ]
I'm going to make SpongeBob's final hours
.the best he's ever had
,And this time --there's going to be love
so much he's going !to drown in it
!Drown in it
:Note to self" ".Watch out for Squidward
[singing ]
?Uh, SpongeBob
♪ ?Yes
I forgot to tell you
there's a part two .to your gift
?"Part two"
,Part two, part two ...part two
Uh, please .don't do that
?What's for part two
Well, what's the most fun thing ?you can think of
,Actually I keep a list
of the most fun things .I like to do
I call it my ".friendship list"
...Great
.Uh, let me see it
The things that are extra fun
.I've written in red
.Everything's in red
.Yeah, I know
We'd better start now
if want to get through this list
...before you die .of anticipation
!Then let's roll
.Bye, Mr. Krabs
[crying ]
--Heads up, Squidward
looks like they're .going to replace you
.Yeah
Uh, now let's have .a look at that list
Well, the first thing I want to do
,is show my best friend Squidward
.to everybody in town
Hi there, this is .my best friend, Squidward
:Hey, kids, check it out
,This is my best friend .Squidward
Hi, I want to show you .my best friend, Squidward
.Hey, Frank
.Glad that's over
Good, 'cause we're on .to our next activity
?...Which is
I'm going to show
,my best friend Squidward
to everyone in town .wearing a salmon suit
You're going to be ?wearing a salmon suit
[laughs ]
,That's a good one !Squidward
!Next
.Knock-knock jokes
.Hey, Squid, knock-knock
?Who's there
!I am
[laughing ]
[pretends to laugh ]
...Oh, yeah
[beeping ]
,Look out, everyone !friends in reverse
[beeping ]
:BOTH ...Oo
.Turn left, and... stop
See, that's what it would be like
if you had me .for a face
.I can't breathe
Are you sure you should be
?poking it like that
?Who's the doctor here
[SpongeBob exclaiming ]
The last thing ...on the list is
Does it involve ?more dismemberment
Watch the sunset" "with Squidward
?"Sunset"
,The way I see it the lad's got until sunset
before that bomb hits .his lower intestine
.Hey, it's Mr. Krabs
.Hi, Mr. Krabs
[weeping ]
.Okay, see you later
--Come on, buddy
,You want a sunset .you'll get a sunset
:SPONGEBOB Ah... underwater sunsets
sure are beautiful ?eh, Squidward
.Yeah
Yeah, this is great
--just the three of us you, me
and this brick wall .you built between us
...Yeah
Sunsets remind me .of bowls of fruit
,What do they make you think of ?Squidward
[laughing ]
[exploding ]
.Explosions
.I mean, erosion
You know, if I were to die right now
in some sort of fiery explosion
due to the carelessness of a friend
.well, that would just be okay
[whimpering ]
[SpongeBob belches ]
Wow, if feels like something
just dropped .into my lower intestine
[sniffs ]
.Hey, smells like cherry
.Or maybe grape
?Blueberry
!Here it is, the sunset
I always love .to count it down
!Five
!You do the rest, buddy
...Uh, four
...three
...t-two
!One
.I guess we started too early
.Let's start again
...Five, four, three
[explosion ]
...Two
:[sobbing ] ...One
Well, at least I was able
to make his last few hours .meaningful
.I am such a good person
[explosion ]
,Hey, Squidward .check this out
[blathering ]
Squidward, we already played ".babble like an idiot"
!?Why are you still here
Since we finished everything on .the list, I made a new one
I already filled up .this book with ideas
We should be able .to finish by January
!Forget the book
I spent the whole day with you
doing all kinds of ridiculous things
because you !were supposed to explode
?You want me to explode
Yes! that's what !I've been waiting for
.Um... okay, I'll try
[straining ]
Gary! You are going to finish your dessert
!and you are going to like it
[laughs ]
.Now, it's your turn
,That's not what I meant !you barnacle head
.Oo, good one
No, you're supposed to explode
.into a million pieces
?Why would I do that
Because the pie you ate !was a bomb
?What pie
The one I left
on the counter today
that I bought from pirates
for 25 bucks, and I didn't know was a bomb
,and you ate it !that pie
?Pie
.Oh, you mean this pie
I was saving it in my pocket
.for us to share
.Let's eat
.Oops
[tremendous explosion ]
:SQUIDWARD ...Ouch
:[NARRATOR [ in French accent Ah, the Krusty Krab
,home of the Krabby Patty with its top secret formula
known only to those brave enough and intelligent enough
to comprehend .its culinary complexity
,Look, Mr. Krabs, I'm doing it !I'm doing it
:KRABS ,Quit fooling around, SpongeBob .we've got customers
But wherever there is a secret recipe
there is someone .who wants to steal it
[laughing evilly ]
[thud ]
!Ouch
:[in electronic voice ] .And now for the final touch
!Perfect
With this disguise
.that formula is as good as mine
[laughing ]
[clears throat ]
Are you SpongeBob ?SquarePants
--Why, yes
.yes, I am
.Then you've just won $1 million
[gasps ]
You just have to answer .one question
What is the Krabby Patty ?secret formula
[inhales ]
.Yes
[inhales ]
!Yes
[inhales ]
!Yes
The formula is the sole property
of the Krusty Krab
and is only to be discussed .with its creator
Duplication is punishable .by law
,Restrictions apply .results may vary
[railroad alarm bells ringing ]
[screams ]
!That's it
You better cough up !that secret formula or else
!Plankton
!Krabs
!Plankton
!Krabs
.SpongeBob
.You can't do this to me, Krabs
[inhales ]
!I went to college
!Ouch
That Plankton is .a clever beast
You've got to keep a sharp eye out for .him, SpongeBob
The Krabby Patty law .must be enforced
The future of the Krusty Krab .depends on it
.Don't worry, Mr. Krabs
As long as these pants are square
...and this sponge is Bob
!I will not let you down
...Uh, SpongeBob
?could you let me down
:MAN Man, these patties .sure are delicious
I wonder what's in ?that secret formula
[siren buzzes ]
.Code 12, code 12
Your disguises can't fool me .this time, Plankton
[pop ]
[patrons gasp ]
Everyone at the Head Enhancement Clinic
.said nobody would notice
[sobs ]
:KRABS !SpongeBob
.You're scaring away me money
,Sorry, Mr. Krabs I'm just trying
to protect .the secret formula
That's no reason to rip people's .heads off, boy
Just remember the most .important rule
.No free napkins
No! The other --most important rule
.regarding the secret formula
Only discuss the secret recipe .with Mr. Krabs
,As long as you do that .the secret is safe
I always thought the most important rule was
Why do today what you" "?can put off till tomorrow
[laughs ]
What is today but ?yesterday's tomorrow
?Huh
Today, I want you to take inventory
;on everything in here
every last pickle and patty must be .accounted for
.Aye, aye, captain
[electronic whirring ]
.Two boxes of buns
.Three pounds of patties
:[in mechanical voice ] .Mr. Squidward
?What now, Mr. Krabs
...That's right, I am Krabs
your boss, your ruler
.your master
[laughs evilly ]
.Ha, ha, ha
[exhaust coughs ]
You're not .Mr. Krabs
Hey, why don't you take the rest ?of the day off
:[chuckling ] ...Well
,whatever you say ".Mr. Krabs"
[laughing ]
!Whoopee
.Hi, Mr. Krabs
.Oh, sweet domination
!This is it
.No sign of Plankton yet
Gosh, Mr. Krabs, you .don't look so good
.Ooh, you're so cold
[hollow, metallic thumping ]
That's just .my metal suit
I made it to protect .the formula
:KRABS .SpongeBob
:[echoing ] !SpongeBob
.It's that thick-headed Krabs
.He'll ruin everything
.Look, a jellyfish
.I got it, I got it
[buzzes ]
.I got it, I got it
!SpongeBob
,Hey, Mr. Krabs what happened
to your ?metal pants
Don't go all loopy .on me, boy
.I need your help
And where in the high seas ?is Squidward
You gave him .the day off
...Day
[bellows ]
I don't know the meaning !of them horrible words
Now quit your laying around, SpongeBob
and take out .that garbage
It's starting .to give me a rash
.Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs, sir
Hey, Mr. Krabs, just .taking out that garbage
Never mind that-- I .need to talk to you
[beams zinging ]
.Whoa-ho, Mr. Krabs
I didn't know .you had heat vision
Never mind, I need ...you to tell me
:KRABS !SpongeBob
!Yike
SpongeBob! I'm not paying you
.to stand around
.Get back to the kitchen
But you wanted .to ask a question
Yes... why aren't ?you working harder
:[hesitantly ] ...I don't know, Mr. Krabs
.I don't know
I'll never get that formula
,with that pest, Krabs .popping in and out like that
!I've got it
I been saving this .for a rainy day
It looks like ...an ordinary penny
.because it isan ordinary penny
That fool Krabs is too greedy .to ignore you, my little pretty
[laughing ]
...That sound, it sounds like
...the pitter-patter of
!money
[squeals ]
?Hey, where you going, beautiful
.Mr. Krabs
...Wha
[crash ]
!Stop
:KRABS !Please
!Wait
Nothing stands between me .and that secret formula now
[mechanical laughter ]
[thud ]
!Ouch
♪ ,Scrubba-dub-dub .I love to rub ♪
Hey, Mr. Krabs, just doing .a little scrubbing
,Hello, SpongeBob ...it is me, Mr. Krabs
[exhaust coughs ]
in the flesh
standing right in front of you
.with no one else around
.I can see that, Mr. Krabs
I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty .secret formula
Isn't that ?a microphone
?What
.Why, yes, it is
I must get this .shirt cleaned
All right, now tell me .the secret formula
But, sir, we haven't done .the secret handshake yet
,Oh, yes, here .let's shake
[giggles ]
We don't shake ,with our hands ?remember
.Uh, right, why don't you start
...We stand on one foot
balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads
and sing the Bikini Bottom .national anthem
:BOTH ♪ Oh, Bikini Bottom
♪ We pledge our hearts to you
♪ ,As faithful, as deep as true, as blue ♪
♪ .Bikini Bottom, we love you
?Formula time
.Almost
[grunting frantically ]
[explosion ]
Yum, yum, this spaghetti .sure is good
.Belch
:Both ,Meatball, meatball spaghetti underneath
,ravioli, ravioli .Great Barrier Reef
[clap ]
Okay, now let's hear .that formula
,Sorry, no can do .Mr. Krabs
?Wha-a-a-a-t
.But we did everything you said
.I followed all the rules
I even ate 105 black licorice .jelly beans through a straw
Now, why can't you tell me ?the formula
--It's your rule
.never speak the formula
...You told me to keep it in
.this bottle
[bell dings ]
.This is it, Plankton
.Gently, now
[laughing maniacally ]
[gasps ]
!Gasp
?How could you, SpongeBob
Giving me secret formula ?to this... impostor
Don't listen .to him, SpongeBob
,Remember-- ravioli ravioli, give me .the formuoli
,SpongeBob, no .don't listen to him
.I'm the realMr. Krabs
Don't listen to him, he's .obviously a robot
[exhaust coughs ]
,Well, if I was a robot which I'm not
at least, I'm well put together
,not some rusted-out steam-driven .pile of junk
Who you calling "?steam-driven"
:[SPONGEBOB [ screaming !QUIET
Until I know who the real Mr. Krabs is, nobody moves
.nobody gets hurt
:BOTH !?Tartar sauce
Take it easy .with that thing
[screams ]
I'll do the talking .around here
I think I'll just ask you two ;a couple of questions
questions only the real .Mr. Krabs could answer
.Okay, then
:First question what time does ?the Krusty Krab open
.9:30 AM
.Right
,That's one strike ".Mr. Fake"
...But
Uh, uh, I'm running this quiz show
I'll ask .the questions
If there's going "to be any "buts
there going .to be from me
:Okay, question number two
How much does ?a Krabby Patty cost
.2.99$
.On Wednesday
.99 cents
.Right again
You're starting to look pretty phony
.right about now
I'd be nervous .if I were you
Now, only the really real --Mr. Krabs could answer this
if we're discussing the secret formula
on the third Wednesday in January
and it's not raining outside
after we gargle ,with pudding ?what do we do
.That's an easy one
...You just... just ...let's see, if it's a
...if it's January with
,with vanilla pudding ...you... uh
.pass
[grunts ]
!Wait
!SpongeBob
.Give me another chance
,So long .imitation Krabs
.Bye-bye
I knew it was you .all along, Mr. Krabs
.Here you go
,Thank you .Sponge-Dupe
[mechanical laughter ]
.Whoop
Don't forget .your lucky penny
[laughter continues ]
.Yoicks
This must be .your lucky day
[laughs ]
:COMPUTER VOICE The self-destruct coin slot .has been activated
.Ten seconds till detonation
"?Coin-operated self-destruct"
.Not one of my better ideas
:[screaming ] !Help
[massive explosion ]
[thud ]
:PLANKTON .Ouch
If that was ...Plankton
.uh-oh
:KRABS ...Help
!Yah, Mr. Krabs
.Ooh, yum, yum
Back, you hungry .hand, back
!Help
,Gee, Mr. Krabs .I'm sorry
I thought you .were a phony
,Hoo, that's okay .me lad
Long as the secret .formula's safe again
However, that penny's coming out of .your paycheck
[both laughing ]
:SPONGEBOB ?Really
Captioning sponsored by THE] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[and NICKELODEON
Captioned by] The Caption Center [WGBH Educational Foundation