?Are you ready, kids
:Kids !Aye, aye, Captain
.I can't hear you
:[louder ] !Aye, aye, Captain
♪ ...Oh ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple ?under the sea ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow .and porous is he ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be ...something you wish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Then drop on the deck .and flop like a fish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ ?Ready !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
[laughs heartily ]
plays airy tune][Captioning sponsored by THE ] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[and NICKELODEON
--There it is .Grandma's house
What wonders ?await me today
?Fresh-baked cookies
?Story time
A sweater with love ?in every stitch
?Aw, what am I waiting for
!Grandma, Grandma, Grandma
!SpongeBob
!Hi, Grandma
.Come in and sit for a while
,Have a cookie .SpongeBob
Grandma, you make the best cookies .in the deep blue sea
...Oh, yeah
[munches ]
[gulps ]
...Grandma's cookies
Now, who wants to ?lick the spoon
!Oh! Me, me, me
And then we drove... all the way home
with all the windows down .in the freezing cold
Tell me another story .about when I was a baby
[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 ]
!?gasps] 3:00 ]
I'm going to be late !for work
.Hop in my car .I'll drop you off
!Thanks, Grandma
...SpongeBob !you forgot your kissy-kissy
.I sure did
[kisses ]
!Bye, Grandma !Thanks for the ride
.Thank you, Squidward
[others chuckling ]
...Oh, brother
[whistling ]
?Isn't this great
Everybody's .in a good mood today
I love bursting .your bubble, SpongeBob
,They're laughing atyou .not with you
Did I do ?something funny
.Your forehead
?My forehead is funny
!Hey, grandma's boy
!Kissy-kissy-kissy
[...all laughing ]
!No! You're wrong
...There there's nothing wrong
with getting kisses !from your grandma
No... especially if you're !a big baby who wears diapers
[all laugh ]
And, and sucks his thumb
and plays with dolls
and, um, wears pajamas with feet in them
,and carries his, um, uh ...binky around, and, uh
:OTHERS !All right already
.Cheer up, SpongeBob
I know someone .who still likes you
?Really ?You do, Squidward
!Yeah... your grandma
[...all laughing ]
[...laughter continues ]
[...all laughing ]
[grunting ]
[all laughing ]
!...Stop it
I have been publicly humiliated !for the last time
[crying ]
:PATRICK I'm sorry that happened .to you, SpongeBob
.Me, too
You're the most adult person .I know
.Thanks, Patrick
.You know how grandmas are
.They love babies
You just can't act .like a baby around her
.You're right, Patrick
?Have I ever not been right
[sizzling ]
[honking ]
[wolf-whistle ]
,You're a man now SpongeBob
and it's time you .started acting like one
!Yeah
Oh... but I'm not sure .I know how
Allow me .to demonstrate
,First .puff out your chest
".Now say "tax exemption
!Tax exemption
Now you must acquire .a taste for free-form jazz
[trumpet plays fast jazz riff ]
,Okay, SpongeBob !you're ready
.This is it
What are you going ?to tell Grandma
.I'm a grownup
.No ifs, ands or buts about it
A man's got to do .what a man's got to do
And then you get behind her .and I'll push
.Patrick, we didn't say that
.Oh, yeah, right
All we need now
is the icing .on the maturity cake
I've been growing .these babies for years
:BOTH ...Sideburns
.Oh, hello, SpongeBob
.What a nice surprise
Come here, give your granny .her kissy-kissy
...Mmm
[kisses ]
,Sorry, Grandmother .but the kissing has to stop
.Tell her like it is, SpongeBob
.No more baby stuff
.He is right, Grandmother
,Kisses are for babies .which I am no longer
.I have grown up
.It is nature's way
.Oh... you are absolutely right
?I am
.I mean, of course I am
You will definitely not be treated like a baby
.around here ever again
I am glad you see it .my way, Grandmother
:GRANDMA Well, I'm glad .that's settled
But what am I going to do
with all these ?fresh-baked cookies
[chuckles ] .Sorry, Grandmother
We adults don't partake .in the consumption of sweets
...Right, Pat
?rick
,Keep 'em coming !Granny
[slurping ]
.So much for no more baby stuff
And don't forget the !cookie-eating hat
[laughs ]
[both laughing ]
!Hey
!That's my cookie-eating hat
Uh... I mean, it was !when I was a baby
...Grr
.Well, look who's here
It's my big old .adult grandson
Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation
.with Mr. Patrick
!Patrick !?What are you doing
!Cookies! Warm milk
!A bib
Is that a kissy mark ?on your forehead
!We are supposed to be adults
.Uh-uh-uh
No roughhousing .with a full tummy
[laughing ]
?Who's the baby
,I'm the baby, I'm the baby !I'm the baby
[clears throat ]
!Being grownup is boring
.I love being a baby
.Besides, I don't get jazz
.Oh, poor Patrick
.I almost feel sorry for you
Trapped in the awkward phase .of diaper days
Never to know the rich rewards .of being a grownup
.Here's a fresh batch of cookies
!All right
[munching ]
?Rewards, huh
...Well, yeah, there's
[munching ]
...Let's see, we, uh
.we went over the jazz
[munching ]
,Oh, Grandma .I'm full
.More cookies
[...vacuum cleaner running ]
[whistling ]
.It appears to be my lunch hour
.Grownups have to eat, too
.I guess this will have to do
:GRANDMA Oh, you don't want .this baby food
How about a big piece ?of steamed coral
.Oh, yeah, uh... great
[crunching ]
!Nutritious
:GRANDMA !Story time
,Oh, boy! Story time !story time, story time
?Story time
,You'll enjoy this .Patrick
It's a wonderful story .about a magical sea leprechaun
Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be .interested in this babybook
Here's the technical manual .on Routine Active Maintenance
.Oh, uh, great
.Yeah... fascinating
No pictures, just the way .I like it
[munching ]
[crunch ]
!Ohh! My wittle finger
,Hold still .hold still
[kisses ]
?All better
:PATRICK ...Sorta
This finger hurts .a little bit, too
[Grandma kisses ]
How about I give you ?a present
!Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies
!All right
!Another hat
.No, Patrick, it's a sweater
?Huh
.With love in every stitch
...No
Don't I get ,a present ?Grandma
.Oh, I almost forgot
Here's some .office supplies
.I didn't wrap them
I knew .you wouldn't mind
[clock chimes 3:00 ]
.Uh-oh, 3:00
.Time for adults to go to work
.Bye-bye, SpongeBob
I'll bet you would fancy ?a nap, huh, Patrick
[Patrick yawns ]
:GRANDMA ,You're still here ?SpongeBob
.Uh... I don't have to leave yet
.I... can be late for work
No, no, no. That wouldn't .be the adult thing to do
,All right, uh .I guess I'll be going
I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business
,to take care of ...so, uh
.I'll see you later
Okay. Thanks for .stopping by, SpongeBob
.Yup, that is it
.Here I go
Come again if you .get the chance
,Out into the cold ...grownup world
.alone... without a sweater
.Toodle-oo
.I don't know when I'll be back
.I know how busy you are
.So, uh... that's it
.Shh... he's asleep
...So... long
!I don't want to grow up
!I want cookies
!And milky
I want a sweater !with love in the stitches
!I want to wear didies
!I want to ride in my wagon
I want to cuddle-wuddle !with Mr. Stuffykins
I want to rocky-rock !on my seahorsey
And I want kissy-kissy !on my boo-boo
[crying ]
[...crying ]
[...continues ]
[...wailing ]
[...continues ]
ratcheting ] [...like lawn sprinkler
!Take it easy, SpongeBob
...SpongeBob
!SpongeBob
[crying and panting ]
You don't have to be a baby
to get .Old Grandma's love
[sniffles ]
?I don't
.Of course not
No matter how grownup you get
you will always be .my Little Baby Boo
[kisses ]
And remember, you can kiss your Grandma
.and still be an adult
.Here you go
.Thanks, Grandma
[munching and sighing ]
,Uh, Grandma could you not mention this
to the guys ?down at The Krusty Krab
.No problem
[squeak ]
[Squidward snickers ]
[...all laughing ]
[SpongeBob shrieks ]
[panting ]
Patrick, look, I [got my... [ gasps
[laughs ]
.I'm sorry, Patrick
,It's just ...for a second I thought
Hey, you got the same !reef-blower as me
[whirs loudly ]
!Tag, you're it
[laughs ]
[loud whirring, both laughing ]
[laughs ]
[whirring ]
[laughs ]
[whirring ]
...Patrick
you made my house !sparkly clean
!Sure did
We haven't improved .Squidward's day yet
!Let's do his house
[whirring ]
[creaking ]
[laughs ]
!My turn
[whirring ]
!?What's going on out here
We're playing .with our new reef-blowers
?Playing with a reef-blower
That is the most childish thing !I've ever heard of
!But it's fun
Fun? How could playing
with one of those oversized ?hair dryers possibly be fun
:PATRICK .Like this
[whirring ]
[grunting ]
!Chafed
...All right, that's
[whirring ]
,Let's do your house .Patrick
!Yeah
?Huh
[panting, sizzling ]
:SPONGEBOB ,Squidward !you're steaming
You're like a steamed .vegetable, only smarter
!Put my windows back
,No problem .Squidward
We're on .your side
[whirring ]
...Any second now
...SpongeBob
this is .the final straw
I am going to move so far away
that I will be able .to brag about it
...I would [clunk ]
I would rather tear out my brain stem
carry it into the middle
of the nearest four-way intersection
and skip rope with it
than go on living .where I do now
.Hi there
?Is this the final straw
Do you want to move so far away ?that you can brag about it
Would you rather tear out your brain stem
walk out into the middle ...of the nearest three-way
...Four-way
Four-wayintersection
and skip rope with it
than continue living ?where you do now
...Then move to [static ]
.I hate this channel
!No, no
.Tentacle Acres...
Where happiness is .just a suction cup away
[pop ]
?Hello
?Yes, can I help you
.I'm here about the happiness
.I'll be moving in now
?Are you alone
,No... I mean, yes .there's nobody with me, yes
.Peace and quiet
Are you now or have you ?ever been a sponge
.No
...What about a
.No, no starfish
,Just a regular, normal ...peace-loving
[loud rumbling ]
[doors creaking ]
[kids laughing ]
...Heaven at last
:BOTH !Ohh
I've seen more alert people
!in a retirement home
Oh, which way to the Living Without ?a Brain seminar
!Don't be late
I've heard better comebacks
from a turkey !sandwich
!Get a life
This place is better !than I expected
.302... 303... and 304
!Beautiful
.And not a pineapple in sight
.Good night, Clary
.Tomorrow we begin life anew
[phone ringing ]
,304 New Life Street .Squidward speaking
[SpongeBob babbling ]
There is no way I am moving !back there, SpongeBob
.I am finally among my own kind
[SpongeBob babbling ]
!Now good-bye
[babbling ]
[rooster crows ]
[inhales deeply ]
...Ahh
.I think I'll take my bike today
[...creaking ]
.I'm my own man
[clunk ]
Now, these neighbors .know how to live
!...Intensive
...Hmm... I bet they won't have
[gasps ] !Wow! They have it
!Canned bread
!This town is great
I would really be ...impressed if it had
!an interpretive dance academy
[...music playing ]
Yeah... it's even better !in a group
!This town is perfect
[...clarinets playing ]
!?A clarinet trio
[...all playing ]
[rooster crows ]
[inhales deeply ]
!Ahh... another great day
.Oh, look
.Everybody's on their bike today
.It just gets better and better
.All together
[all playing ]
I sort of... don't feel .like playing my clarinet today
.Yup, this is great
They might as well rename .this town Squidward's Paradise
.Or perhaps... Too Much Paradise
[whirring ]
?SpongeBob
...Feh
[...whirring ]
[laughs ]
[whistling ]
.Oops
[whirring ]
!Ohh
[grunting ]
[grunts ]
[chuckles ]
[clears throat ]
.Leaves
.Just getting the leaves
[whirring ]
[chuckles ]
[whirring ]
[laughing ]
[whirring ]
[laughs ]
[whirring ]
!Oof
[laughs ]
Could you pipe down ?over there, Iron Lung
[both laugh ]
[whirring ]
[laughs ]
Looks like when it comes to having fun
you don't have .a leg to stand on
[laughing ]
!Hey, that's not funny
!Yeah
What's going on ?over here
.It's that guy
He's playing .with a reef-blower
?Playing? With a reef-blower
That's the most childish thing .I've ever heard of
.But it's fun
[laughs ]
How could you possibly have fun
with one of those ?oversized hair dryers
!Like this
[whirring ]
[clarinet tooting ]
!Ahh! Give it back! Please
[whirring ]
[laughing ]
!Tag, you're it
[whirring ]
!...Whoa
[laughing ]
?What can I get you boys
[...whirring ]
[...laughing ]
What are you ?looking at
.Those
:SPONGEBOB .Here it is, Patrick
Now we've just got to convince .Squidward to come back home
?You got our apology cake
!We're ready
!Yay
?Hello, can I help you
Can I get a large number ?one, extra size
But you just ate three orders .of fried oyster skins
...I love .fried oyster skins
We're sorry, but your kind .isn't allowed here
,He's not leaving .Orville
You got your ?nightstick ready
[sniffs ]
!?Fried oyster skins ...Oh
[buzz ]
[doors creak ]
I guess we got to .order inside
[yelling ]
[laughing ]
[whirring ]
[laughing ]
[crowd yelling ]
[laughing ]
Hey! That looked !like Squidward
[yelling ]
That looked like Squidward also
.in angry mob form
,Hold it right there !Mr. Tentacles
!Stay back !I got gardening tools
,Here !just read this
?What is it
A well thought-out and .organized list of complaints
[crowd yelling ]
,Patrick, look !it's Squidward
!Squidward !We finally found you
!Get off me
.I'm not Squidward
Are you ?Squidward now
!?Grievances
!This town is a grievance
There should be a law
against so many stuck-up !tightwads living in one place
This city needs !to be destroyed
Or at least painted .a different color
F.Y.I., you don't ,have to live here .you know
!Hey, you're right
.And I'm leaving A.S.A.P
?Are you Squidward
.No
?Are you Squidward
.No
?Are you Squidward
,That's okay .take your time
Any one of these Squidwards
could be the real .Squidward, Patrick
[boom ]
[whooshing ]
!Whoa-ho, freedom
!Whoo-hoo
[Squidward laughing ]
...Well, we know one thing
.It sure isn't that guy
!Whoo-hoo-ee
Captioning sponsored by THE] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[and NICKELODEON
Captioned byThe Caption Center] [WGBH Educational Foundation