?Are you ready, kids
:KIDS !Aye, aye, Captain
.I can't hear you
:KIDS !!Aye, aye, Captain
♪ !Ooh ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple ?under the sea ♪
♪ !Spongebob Squarepants♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
♪ !Spongebob Squarepants♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
♪ !Spongebob Squarepants♪
♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
♪ ?Spongebob Squarepants!♪Ready
♪ !Spongebob Squarepants ♪
[hearty laughter ]
[flute playing ]
Captioning sponsored by THE] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[and NICKELODEON
?Patrick
!Oh, Patrick
Are you ready to ?go jelly fishing
[creaking ]
!Oh, boy, am I
.Here's your net
,Well, come on .Patrick
The jellyfish don't .catch themselves
First, I have to put away .my secret box
?Secret box
You never told me ...about your
.secret box
,Hey! Hands off .Peeping Bob
.This here's mysecret box
Besides, if I showed you what was inside
it wouldn't be .a secret anymore
!Duh
[creaking ]
[goofy laughter ]
!Oh, Spongebob
If only you could see inside my secret box
it would change .your life
,It's okay, Patrick .I know all about secrets
?You do
I've got .a gazillion secrets
?Like what
Well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret
is secretly telling someone your secret
thereby secretly adding another secret
to their secret collection .of secrets... secretly
[electrical buzzing ]
You want to hear !?one of my secrets?Do I
.Uh... let's see
Did you know ?you're my best friend
.No... way
!Oh, let's hear another one
,Okay. Uh... secretly .I'm a little bit naive
!Wow
I'll never look at you .the same way again, Spongebob
!Gosh
[clears throat ]
!Tell me some more secrets
...Okay
I love my job .at The Krusty Krab
.I sleep with my shoes on
I like jelly .on both sides of my toast
I've got .an overdue library book
.overbite...
.I've never been late for work
"I've said the word "fancy .in conversation
I still don't have .my driver's license
I'm a little .on the short side
I'm wearing three pairs .of underwear now
!Gasp
.I never would have guessed
Now will you show me ?what's inside your secret box
!No, Spongebob
,It's for me to know !and for you to neverfind out
You may be an open book, Spongebob
but I'm a bit more .complicated than that
The inner machinations .of my mind are an enigma
Oh, yeah?! Well, I got !plenty of secret stuff, too
...Uh
.I've got my secret socks on
[panting ]
.And my secret Gary's bowl
[grunting ]
My secret TV
.and my secret TV channel
[tone ]
,What do you think of that ?Patrick
[goofy laughter ]
[guffawing ]
[gasping for air ]
!Whew
[laughing harder ]
[laughing hysterically ]
[gasping ]
!Oh, whew
Maybe if you saw what was inside
you'd know why it .has to be secret
Inside this very box is the most secrety secret
,in all of Secretdom !and I am its sole witness
,It's a heavy burden Spongebob
but nobody must know .the mystery of the box
!Nobody
[knees knocking ]
...Not even .Squidward's house
.It's a full-time job
.I'm constantly on the alert
You never know ...when someone's going to
[gasps ]
[jabbering ]
[grunts ]
Spongebob, what do you !?think you're doing
!That's my secret box
!Now hand it over
,But, Patrick .I must know the secret
,For the last time !Spongebob, no
.Come on, just a peek
:[grunting ] !Never
[grunting ]
[pop][ gasps ]
.So, it's come to this
And to think we joined !the Best Friends Forever Club
[tinkling ]
[grunts ]
Listen up, Spongebob !Secret Stealer" Pants"
If you evercome near my secret box again
!we won't be friends anymore
...But... we're supposed to be .friends forever
[giggling ]
[laughing ]
[laughter continues ]
[muffled laughter ]
[sniffles ]
.I feel so filthy
I have soiled .our friendship garden
:[sobbing ] .I just couldn't help myself
.I know it's your secret
.I promise to respect that
,Oh, please forgive me !Patrick, please
...Well
[squishy noises ]
I guess it's not .all your fault
After all, this is .a pretty great secret
I mean, how could you resist
!?the greatest secret ever
...The most amazing
...mysterious
powerful secret in ?all of Bikini Bottom
?So, what do you say, buddy
?Friends
.Friends
:SPONGEBOB What could be in that box
that Patrick ?doesn't wantme to see
Maybe it's the world's only albino jellyfish
or maybe Patrick's a master jewel thief
.and it's full of diamonds
Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac
who keeps his victims' .severed heads in a box
Or even worse
maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot of me
.from a Christmas party
[shrieking ]
I got to find out .what's in that secret box
I'm not going to !rest till I do
.That's it
How do you look ?into a secret box
.Secretly, of course
I'll just take the box while Patrick's sleeping
look inside
and before Patrick
even has time to notice
.I'll slide it back
Patrick won't know
and I'll have .my own little secret
?Good idea, eh, Gary
.Mmm... No
:SPONGEBOB ?Oh, what do you know
.You're a snail
[snoring ]
[snorting ]
!Snizzlefrazzy
[snoring ]
!?Who's it
[snoring ]
.Se-e-ecret
.I got to be more quiet
.I don't want to wake Patrick up
[squeaking ]
[loud thunk ]
[gasps ]
[yawning ]
[groaning ]
[snoring ]
[metallic squeak ]
[creaking ]
[snorts ]
[yawns and groans ]
[snoring ]
[foot creaking ]
[loud thud ]
!?Duh! Who's there
:[snoring ] ...Who's... Who's
...Oh
!Shh
[metallic groan ]
[glass shattering ]
!Hey
[jabbering ]
...Oh
[snoring ]
[loud splash ]
.Mmm... water
[snoring ]
[creaking ]
[loud thud ]
[snoring ]
[creaking and clonking ]
[creaking ]
[groaning softly ]
[snoring ]
[buzzing ]
[crash ]
[snoring ]
.Good old secret box
.Let's see what's inside
[laughing ]
.Nighty-night, boxie
[loud, continued racket ]
[glass shattering ]
[racket continuing ]
[whizzing ]
[snoring ]
Gee, Patrick sure is .a heavy sleeper
?Huh? Who said that
!?Who's there
...Uh
!It's the clam burglar
!And he's stealing my secret box
,Hand over the goods secret-box bandit
and prepare for the most unpleasant
!pillow fight of your life
[gun cocking ]
!Wait, wait, wait, Patrick. Stop
!It's me, Spongebob
.Nice try, burglar
But Spongebob's my best friend .and he'd never steal from me
.No, really, Patrick .Look
[gasps ]
♪ It's the Best Friends Forever ♪
♪ !Best Friends Forever Ring ♪
.Our friendship ring
!It isyou
:[sobbing ] ?How could you do this
If it makes you feel any better
.I haven't looked inside
.That's it, Spongebob
.You have crossed the line
As of right now, this !friendship is over
?Really
Nah, you can look inside .if you really want to
!Okay
Oh, this is one of the most .exciting moments of my life
.Well, here it goes
?Huh
?Well? Didn't I tell you
?Isn't it great
.It's just a string
!A secret string
,Boy, when you're right .you're right
That's some secret box .you got there
Yeah. Thanks .for showing me that
.Well, good night, Patrick
.See you tomorrow
.Good night, Spongebob
.I should have known
It was just .a piece of string all along
[cackles ]
.Wait till I tell Gary
[laughing ]
Good thing he didn't pull the secret string
opening the secret compartment
of my secret box
revealing one embarrassing snapshot of Spongebob
.at that Christmas party
[Patrick laughing ]
!Merry Christmas, Spongebob
[laughter ]
[clarinet plays ]
[doorbell chimes ]
Yeah, uh, we're with
the pet hospital down the street
and I understand you have
a dying animal .on the premises
[rings ]
.Hello
You've reached The House .of Unrecognized Talent
...Please start after the
[clarinet squeals ]
Sounds as though you've got a dying animal
,to attend to ?eh, old chum
[gasps ]
Squilliam Fancyson ?from band class
I hear you're playing .the cashregister now
.Well, sometimes
?Uh, how's the unibrow
.It's big and valuable
I'm the leader of a big fancy band now
and we're supposed to play .the Bubble Bowl next week
...The Bu-Bu-Bu... the Bu-Bu-Bu ?...the Bu-Bu-Bu
.That's right
,I'm living your dreams .Squidward
The problem is, I'm busy .next week and can't make it
So, I was hoping you and your .band could cover for us
...Oh, uh... I-I-I-I'd, uh
!I knew it
You don't even .have a band
Well, I'll just let you get back
to the service .industry now
!Hold it
It just so happens that I don't sell fast food
I do have a band
and we're going to play .that Bubble Bowl
?How do you like that, Fancyboy
.Good luck next Tuesday
I hope the audience brings .lots of ibuprofen
I've got to drum up .a marching band fast
.Drum
[chuckles ]
.Band humor
Looking to add fulfillment" "?to your dull, dull life
Then become part of" the greatest musical sensation
".ever to hit Bikini Bottom
And be forever adored"
by thousands of people ".you don't know
Not to mention" ".free refreshments
,Practice begins tonight" ".8:30 sharp
Stupid music rental clerk .made me late
That trilobite didn't know .an oboe from an elbow
.Hmm, elbow, hmm
.More band humor
:ALL ♪ ,Blah, blah .blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ .Blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
!People, people
.Settle down
.Okay, now
How many of you have played ?musical instruments before
?Do instruments of torture count
.No
?Is mayonnaise an instrument
No, Patrick, mayonnaise .is not an instrument
Horseradish is not .an instrument either
That's fine, no one .has any experience
Fortunately, I have enough .talent for all of you
[laughing ]
:[laughing ] .All of you
[laughter subsiding, coughing ]
When do we get ?the free food
.Okay, try to repeat after me
[inhales ]
[plays musical scale ]
.Brass section, go
[plays sharp notes ]
.Good. Now the wind
[plays flat notes ]
.And the drums
[sputtering ]
.Too bad that didn't kill me
Let's just try stepping .in rhythm
Now, I want everyone to stand .in straight rows of five
Is this the part ?where we start kicking
,No, Spongebob .that's a chorus line
!?Kicking
Oh, I want to do !some kicking
[grunts ]
!...Why, you
!...Why, I ought to
[yelling ]
[Patrick bellowing ]
[clamor subsides ]
[footsteps approaching ]
Whoever's the owner of the white sedan
.you left your lights on
[horn blowing notes ]
[long note blows ]
[chaotic music playing ]
Okay, that's .perfect, everybody
.Bubble Bowl, here we come
Flag twirlers, really .spin those things
.Okay, turn
.Flag twirlers, let's go
I want to see .some spinning
!Flag twirlers, let's move
!Come on !Move
["playing "Taps ]
How's that harmonica solo ?coming, Plankton
.It's tremendous
?You want to see
[inhales deeply ]
[note plays ]
[high note plays ]
[panting ]
[low note plays ]
[note plays ]
[gasping for air ]
[panting ]
[inhaling weakly ]
[high tinny note plays ]
[groans ]
Well, this is our last night .together before the show
And I know that you haven't .improved since we began
.But I have a theory
People talk loud when they ?want to act smart, right
:[shouting ] !Correct
,So if we play loud .people might think we're good
?Everybody ready
And a-one and a-two
!and a-one, two, three, four
[loud blast of music ]
.Okay, new theory
,Maybe we should play so quietly .no one can hear us
Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad
if some people didn't try to play
.with big, meaty claws
?What did you say, punk
!Big... meaty... claws
Well, these claws ain't .for just attracting mates
!Bring it on, old man
!Bring it on
.No, people
.Let's be smart and bring it off
Oh, so now the talking cheese is .going to preach to us
[crowd murmuring ]
!Wait, wait
.I know tensions are high
!Take that
[yelling ]
[squabbling ]
There's a deposit !on that equipment, people
!Settle down, please
[karate yell ]
[growls ]
!Hit him! Hit him
[yelling ]
[ding ]
[squabbling stops ]
.Hey, class is over
.Okay, yeah, see ya tomorrow
.That was good
...Say, what are you doing after
[chattering stops ]
.Well, you did it
You took my one chance at happiness
.and crushed it
,Crushed it into little .tiny, bite-size pieces
I really had expected .better of you people
I guess I'm a loser .for that, too
Don't bother showing up .tomorrow
I'll just tell them you all .died in a marching accident
.So, thanks
:[cries ] .Thanks for nothing
.You're welcome
What kind of ?monsters are we
That poor creature came to us in his hour of need
.and we failed him
Squidward's always been there for us
when it was .convenient for him
Evelyn, when your little Jimmy was trapped in a fire
?who rescued him
.A fireman
And, Larry, when your heart gave out
from all those ,tanning pills ?who revived you
Some guy .in an ambulance
.Right
So, if we all could just pretend
that Squidward was a fireman or some guy in an ambulance
then I'm sure we could all pull together
and discover what it truly means
.to be in a marching band
Yeah, for !the fireman
:ALL !Yeah
.Now let's make Squidward proud
,A-one, a-two .a squiddly-diddly do
:SQUIDWARD .I knew this was going to happen
They're just going to have .to find another band to play
...I just hope that
!Squilliam doesn't find out
!Squilliam! Aw
?What are you doing here
[chortling ]
I just wanted .to watch you blow it
?So, where's your band
.Uh... they couldn't come
.They... died
?Then who's that
Ah! That would !be my band
We're ready to .perform, Squidward
,Well, Squiddy this is exactly
how I pictured .your band would look
.That's his eager face
[chortling ]
I guess this will be the last time
I can show my face .in this town
,That's the spirit .Squidward
:ANNOUNCER Okay, football fans
put your hands together
for the Bikini Bottom !Super Band
[wild cheering ]
[whooping ]
!Yeah
These are some .ugly-looking fish
Maybe we're near one of .those toxic-waste dumps
.I think I'm going to be sick
.Okay, everybody
[chortles ]
.Let's get this over with
...One, two, three
...four
playing fanfare ] [in perfect pitch
[rock ballad intro plays ]
♪ The winner takes all ♪
♪ It's the thrill of one more kill ♪
♪ The last one to fall ♪
♪ Will never sacrifice their will ♪
♪ Don't ever look back on the wind closing in ♪
♪ The only attack were their wings on the wind ♪
♪ Oh, the daydream begins ♪
♪ ,And it's sweet, sweet sweet victory, yeah ♪
♪ And it's ours for the taking ♪
♪ It's ours for the fight ♪
!Oh
♪ ,In the sweet, sweet sweet victory, yeah ♪
♪ And the world is ours to follow ♪
♪ .Sweet, sweet, sweet victory ♪
Captioning sponsored by THE] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
[and NICKELODEON
Captioned by] The Caption Center [WGBH Educational Foundation