Are you ready, kids?
KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪
♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪Ready?
♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪
[ hearty laughter]
[ flute playing]
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
[ ship's horn blaring]
[ snoring]
[ blaring]
Time for boating school!
Let it rip, Gary.
[ slurping]
Ah...
Ta-da!
Not bad, partner in crime.
The toasts could have been a little darker, though.
See you later.
Hey, SpongeBob, want to go jelly fishing?
Sorry, Patrick, I can't. I have school today.
What am I supposed to do all day while you're at school?
I don't know. What do you normally do when I'm gone?
Wait for you to get back.
Wait a second, Patrick.
Why don't you come to school with me?
Hey, that's a great idea.
You and me in school together as classmates.
Think about it!
Wow.
Brace yourself, Patrick.
I'm about to introduce you
to the greatest academic thrill ride of your lifetime.
[ laughing excitedly]
I have no line.
Behold, Patrick, the hallway of learning.
And here's the fountain of learning.
And these are the lockers of learning.
And these are the stairs of learning, right?
No, they're just the stairs.
Theseare the stairs of learning.
Where's everyone?
I don't know. Home probably.
Class doesn't start till 9:00.
6:20?
But I thought you said you were late.
Late for being early.
Hey!
When'll you start wearing a watch?
And now for the room with the most class:
the classroom.
Huh?!
And here's the chalkboard.
It's the ladle that helps us drink
from the fountain of knowledge.
Oh!
And those drinks are recorded here
on the Good Noodles Board.
Huh? Oh, sorry.
[ gasps loudly]
Attendance.
Penmanship.
Basic Desk Sanitation.
Advanced Desk Sanitation.
I'll add your name
so you can start collecting good noodle stars, too.
There you are.
Look at all the stars you have.
I'll never be that good.
Oh, now, Patrick
I'm just like everyone else
no matter how many stars I have.
Ahem!
[ high-pitched]: Seventy-four.
Who said that?
Was it him?
I doubt it.
That's Roger, our class science project.
What does he teach us?
The greatest lesson of all: the precious value of life.
You see, Patrick, Roger Shell represents the fragile line
between life and death when behind the wheel of a boat.
This lightbulb represents knowledge.
And without its energy and warmth
within minutes, Roger would die.
Life, death! Life, death! Life, death!
Patrick!
Sorry.
The best part of being early is
you get to sit close to the teacher.
Think you can handle the second chair?
I'm waiting!
This is gonna be great!
[ both giggling]
Hello, class.
My name is Mrs. Puff.
And the only reason I say that is because I see we have
a new student.
Young man, why don't you stand up
and introduce yourself.
Who's the fat kid talking to?
You, Patrick; she's the teacher.
Oh.
Come on, now, tell the class your name.
Don't be nervous.
Uh... Duh...
[ teeth chattering]
We just want to know your name.
[ stuttering]: Duh... Duh...
[ teeth chattering]: Duh...
Duh!
Twenty-four.
[ laughing hysterically]
Oh, great, another genius.
[ laughter continues]
[ forced laughter]
Why are they laughing?
I guess it's just in the timing.
Oh.
[ laughing]
Today's first lesson will be on "Turning."
Twenty-four.
[ both snickering]
Hey, Patrick.
What?
I thought of something funnier than 24.
Let me hear it.
[ stifled laugh]
Twenty-five.
[ both stifling laughter]
MRS. PUFF: That's enough!
Young man, this is your first day
so I'll let you off with a warning.
As for you, SpongeBob
I expect more from a good noodle.
Pay attention.
Yes, Mrs. Puff.
Now, then, "Turning":
what every driver should know.
When you are turning
it is important to signal at least...
[ gasps]
"Big Fat Meanie"?!
Patrick, you can't do that!
She's the teacher.
What about the teacher?
[ yells] What...
[ teeth chattering][ gasps]
As if I really look like this!
SpongeBob, I believe you know
the punishment for two classroom disruptions.
No.
I'm sorry, SpongeBob
but if one wishes to bea good noodle
one must behave like a good noodle.
[ blubbering]: I'm a good noodle!
You'll get this star back when you earn it.
Nooo!
[ bawling]
No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No!
No! No!
[ groaning]
Mrs. Puff, is it nap time?
SpongeBob, I've had enough of your nonsense.
Now collect your things
and move to the available desk
in the back of the room!
But... me? But why?
Because the Big Fat Meanie said so.
Now go!
Thanks a lot, Patrick.
Sure thing, buddy.
Oh, I guess I could be a good noodle from back here.
[ voice receding]: Now, as I was saying, when turning left, you must...
It's so hard to hear.
What kind of student sits back here anyway?
Where am I?
Psst! SpongeBob.
Just ignore him, SpongeBob.
Psst!
SpongeBob, over here.
Whatever you do, don't look at him.
Psst! SpongeBob.
[ grunts]
Psst!
SpongeBob!
SpongeBob?
SpongeBob!
SpongeBob.
Psst!
Over here.
I'm trying to tell you something.
Something important.
What?!
Hi.
[ screaming]: Hi!
[ growling]
Perhaps this would be a good time for recess.
Hey, buddy.
Funny stuff in there.
Funny stuff.
[ door slamming]
There is nothing funny about what you did in there, Patrick.
You got me in trouble.
You got me moved to the back of the room!
You caused me one of my good noodle stars!
Who cares about a stupid star?
Gee, Patrick, it seems like
you would care a lot about stupid stars
considering you areone.
I'll deal with you after class.
It isafter class.
GROUP: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
I don't see anyone fighting, do you?
They're talking about us.
We're fighting.
I don't mind if I do.
[ grunting]
Fight! Fight! Fight...
This is embarrassing.
What's going on here?
Well?
SpongeBob and I were fighting.
[ gasps]
Fighting?
Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
SpongeBob Squarepants, I hereby sentence you and your friend
to detention.
Detention?
May Neptune have mercy on your soul.
[ bell ringing]
In one day I've gone from good noodle to bad egg.
It's all stupid Patrick's fault.
I hate you, Patrick.
I hate you more.
Well, I'd hate you no matter what.
Yeah? Well I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.
I'd hate you even if that made sense.
I'd hate you even if you were me.
That's how much I hate you.
I'd hate you if even, uh...
mm...
I'd hate you even if the lightbulb
keeping Roger alive went out.
[ gasps]
[ shivering]
[ whimpering]
[ sleigh bells ringing]
[ groaning]
[ wind whistling]
[ both sobbing]
I'm sorry I called you a stupid star!
I'm sorry I got you in trouble
and got you moved to the back of class
and got your good noodle star removed
and shot spitballs...
I'm sorry your apology is so long.
Me too. Let's save Roger!
I'll keep him warm
and you get a lightbulb from the supply closet.
[ gasps]
Lightbulb.
But why does it have to be so far away?
[ breathing heavy]
[ glass breaking]
[ yodeling]
[ playing horn]
I'm coming, SpongeBob!
Oh, where's Patrick?
Oh, forget it.
I've got to go find Roger some warmth.
The lightbulb!
Without its warmth, Roger will die.
Roger!
Without him
the lightbulb will have nothing to warm.
We did it, Patrick.
We saved Roger's life.
TEACHER: Good job, boys.
I saw the whole thing
from behind my one-way chalkboard
and I couldn't be happier with your teamwork.
I've decided to give you each one gold star.
Although, I'm not sure what saving an egg
has to do with boating school.
Boating school?
I thought this was Spanish class.
See you, SpongeBob.
See you, Big Fat Meanie.
[ cracking]
[ chirping]
Hey, what'd I miss?
Uh...
What do you like better?
The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins?
I like neither.
Can I take your order?
How about the barnacle rings?
Are they any good?
No. What will you have?
Well, uh, what's your vote on the kelp...
Sir, let's just get this out of the way.
I hate everything on the menu.
Now what do you want?
Psst. Try the coral bits.
Uh, I'll try the coral bits.
That'll be one dollar.
[ cash register dings]
[ alarm blaring]
What's going on?
Something stupid, I'm sure.
[ lively classical music playing]
Yippee!
[ laughing]
Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha! Whoo!
See? I told you.
What's wrong with Mr. Krabs?
[ squeaking]
Nothing, lad.
Do you know what this is?
A very dirty dollar?
No! This is my one millionth dollar earned.
Every Krab's goal in life is to make a million dollars
and now I got mine.
Congratulations, sir.
You have just given me my one millionth dollar.
Great.
What do I win?
Nothing.
Now get out.
What?
Get out!
Everybody get out!
You're spoiling my moment.
My millionth dollar.
Congratulations, Mr. Krabs.
Congratulate yourselves, lads.
A captain's nothing without his loyal crew.
I mean, a crew like you comes along
maybe once in a lifetime.
And to reward you for helping me
make my millionth dollar
I'm taking you on a trip.
Wow! A trip!
I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs.
Where are we going, Fancy Spring?
No.
Pamper Island?
Try again.
Oh, oh, oh! Bikini Bottom Folk Village.
Better than that.
Clam fishing?
This is the reward we get for all our hard work?
Fishing for stinky clams
in a smelly old boat on a filthy lagoon?
You call this fun?
Aw, come on now, Squidward
three fellas at sea with nothing to do
but throw their lines in the water
catch a few clams and then throw them back.
Don't you think that's fun?
No.
And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now.
Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out over here
so you can watch me?
How about you cast out over there
so I can ignore you.
Okay.
[ blubbering]
Hey, watch where you're swinging that...
SpongeBob
be careful with...
[ Squidward screaming]
Okay, I've had enough.
[ chuckling]
Oh, Squidward, you got to lighten up.
Sure, the lad's a bit overeager
but you've got to learn
to roll with the punches.
Go with the flow.
And don't bring anything on the boat
that you ain't prepared to lose.
[ chuckles]
Ooh! Ugh!
Me millionth dollar!
SpongeBob
wait!
SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar
on the back swing.
Reel it in before I keelhaul ya.
[ ominous orchestral music plays]
Oh, no.
SpongeBob, quick, reel it in!
Can't you hear the music?
That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor.
Every sailor knows that means death.
Reel it in before it's too late.
Hurry, SpongeBob!
The music's getting faster!
There you are, you stinking bilge rats!
Stop playing that music!
Stop it, please!
I'm begging you.
Come on, honey. You can make it!
Swim faster!
Come to me, baby!
Come on back!
Hurry, SpongeBob!
Here she comes.
Oh, please, please, please, please.
Please, please, please.
She made it!
Yeah!
Oh, oh! Oh, ho-ho!
For a second or two, I thought she was a goner.
[ scary music resumes]
[ roaring]
[ music continues]
[ sobbing]
So, some trip, hey, Mr. Krabs?
Oh, Squidward
you're never going to believe it.
A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar!
[ sobbing]
I lost me dollar
and I'll never get it back.
Never, never, never, never.
I've never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up.
[ sobbing]
Oh, please.
He's such a drama queen.
Come on, Mr. Krabs.
Drop the act.
[ blubbering]
Mr. Krabs, it's just a stupid dollar.
[ blubbering]
For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs
suck it up!
[ blubbering]
Mr. Krabs.
[ wailing]
Mr. Krabs.
[ blubbering]
Okay, okay, Mr. Krabs.
We'll help you get your dollar back.
You will?
Great!
Wait right here.
Here's where clam fishing gets serious.
Okay, you boys man the fishing poles.
And I'll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.
Aye-aye, Captain.
And remember, we don't leave until we catch that clam
and rescue me dollar.
[ bird squawking]
That's it.
I'm finished.
We've been here for three days
and haven't gotten a nibble.
This is hopeless!
Yeah. And I've got to get home to feed Gary.
We're going to die out here
just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar.
Well, if he wants his dollar back
I say we give it to him.
Know what I mean?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Oh, I get you.
[ jabbering]
BOTH: Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs.
Look what we got!
Oh, could it be?
Me millionth dollar!
[ laughing]
[ giggling]
[ laughing]
Whoa.
Wait a minute.
[ squeaking]
This isn't me millionth dollar.
This is an ordinary dollar
that's been crumpled up
torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon
and kissed with Coral Blue Number Two Semi-gloss Lipstick.
Actually, it's Coral Blue Number Three.
I trusted you, and you gave me this!
I can't believe
me own crew would betray me like this.
[ sobbing]
No. Uh-uh.
No. We will not be swayed by tears anymore.
I see.
Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward.
You're kidding?
Whoo! It isn't another fishing trip?
No.
It's this sandwich.
A sandwich?
You expect me to break my back
over a sandwich?
Not asandwich.
Thesandwich.
Whatever.
We've got plenty more to...
[ water splashing]
...eat.
Now,I think we understand each other.
Nobody eats
until I get my millionth dollar back.
Uh, SpongeBob
can I have a word with you?
Have you noticed
that Mr. Krabs has gone
completely insane?!
What do you mean?
Just look at him.
[ sobbing]
Squidward, he's lost something near and dear to him.
Haven't you...?
[ sobbing]Look again.
[ sobbing]
[ giggling]
You're right.
How do we get out of here?
If we're real quiet
we can sneak over to the lifeboat.
Okay.
[ screaming]
So, you thought you'd skip out
on old Krabs, did you?
Even after you promised to help me.
I know what you're thinking.
"It's just a dumb old dollar."
"Let's just leave the old man."
"He won't notice."
[ sobbing]
Well, it's not going down like that.
There's only one use
for a backstabbing crew like you:
live bait!
You're crazy.
If that clam didn't come before
what makes you think he'll come now?
Oh, he'll come.
[ ominous music plays]
[ screaming]
Mr. Krabs, listen.
I work with SpongeBob all day long
so I know what I'm talking about when I say...
you are completely out of your mind!
[ giggling]
Get us out of here!
Come on, fresh meat!
[ screaming]
Keep thrashing!
He likes it!
[ screaming]
Come on, boy!
Closer...
closer.
Almost there.
[ roaring]
That's it!
[ screaming]
A-ha!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Look, boys!
I finally got it!
I finally got me millionth dollar!
[ orchestra plays scary theme]
Oh, poor Mr. Krabs.
Gone forever out of our lives.
Why couldn't it have been me?
Yes. Why couldn't it have been you?
[ sobbing]
Why did he have to go like this? Why?
Why did he have to go like this
and leave me tied to this idiot?
[ both sobbing]
MR. KRABS: Hello, boys!
BOTH: Mr. Krabs?
Have you boys met...
me millionth dollar?
[ chuckles]
Wow! How did you get it back?
It wasn't easy.
Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter
so eventually, we settled on a trade.
What did you give him?
Nothing important.
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org