Are you ready, kids?
KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
[ louder]: Aye, aye, Captain!
♪ Oh...
♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish... ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪
♪ Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
[ laughs heartily]
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION[ plays airy tune]
and NICKELODEON
SQUIDWARD: Closing time...
the happiest time of the day!
Closing time...
the saddest time of the day.
[ sobbing]
Huh?
That's a Krabby Patty.
Ew...
It's cold and hard.
This could have rolled there years ago.
There, there, little one, your journey is almost over.
[ siren wailing]
What happened?!
[ gasps]
Someone tried to throw away a patty!
MACHINE: Pinch-o-matic has saved you 5.2 cents.
But, Mr. Krabs, I found that under the grill.
And tomorrow a customer will find it under his bun.
But... it's old and it's cold
and so very full of mold.
You're not to make another Patty
until that one is sold.
Understand?
Order up, Squidward.
Hooray.
[ flies buzzing]
Uh... SpongeBob...
can I get one with less... fog.
Sorry, Squidward, Mr. Krabs's orders.
Whatever.
Here you are, sir, one Krabby Patty.
[ sniffs]
[ screams]
I don't understand--
we haven't had a customer in weeks.
I wonder if it's the new placemats.
What?
[ stammering]
Placemats?
Have you lost your mind?
It's that old patty
you keep trying to sell to everybody!
It's gone bad.
Gone bad?
That's nonsense.
Bring it here, SpongeBob.
Uh... Why is it in a cage?
Because it growled at me.
[ growling, barking]
You two would have never have lasted in the navy.
Let's see how bad you are.
[ growling, barking]
No!
No...
[ growling, barking]
Stay...
That a girl!
There, there.
See?
Good enough to eat.
[ siren wailing]
Oh.
Look.
An ambulance.
Now, then.
[ moaning]
SpongeBob?
Yes, Mr. Krabs?
Make sure you wrap up that patty--
I'm not finished with it yet!
Well, Mr. Krabs, you gave us quite a scare.
So I'm going to be okay, doc?
Well, if you don't want to take my word for it,
let's just check your chart.
Let's see here.
Hmm.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
This is terrible!
Everything okay, doc?
Don't touch me!
[ screams]
That's not a good sign.
[ lightening cracks]
[ ghoulish laughter]
Oh, no, it's the Flying Dutchman!
Eugene Krabs, your time has come.
I'm not Eugene Krabs, I'm, uh, Harold!
Harold, uh... Flower!
Oh, sorry.
I must have the wrong room.
Excuse me, nurse?
NURSE: Yes?
I'm looking for Eugene Krabs.
Oh, he's in that room, right there.
No, that's Harold Flower's room.
Harold Flower?
So, Krabs!
You thought you could fool the Flying Dutchman?
What do you want from me?
I'm here to escort you to the resting place
of all bad undersea folk...
Davy Jones's locker!
Davy Jones's locker?
Why do I have to go there?
I'm not a bad crab!
Ah, but you were cheap,
and being cheap is a terrible thing.
Next stop-- Davy Jones's locker!
[ Dutchman laughing maniacally]
Here we are!
[ sniffs]
Blech!
Why does it smell so foul?
Davy Jones works out a lot.
These are his socks.
Get in!
[ sobbing]
Oh, please, Mr. Dutchman,
I don't want to go in there!
I'll do anything!
Please, give me another chance!
Come on, Krabs,
show a little dignity.
[ sobbing]: Mommy!
All right, all right, stop your crying.
I'll give you another chance.
But you must always be generous--
nevercheap.
You have my word as a sailor.
SQUIDWARD: Mr. Krabs' nosehair clippers.
I could use these.
Squidward, you shouldn't be going
through Mr. Krabs' belongings.
[ sniffling]: He won't like it!
SpongeBob, I told you what the doctor said:
Mr. Krabs isn't coming back.
Now, keep quiet so I can hear the tumblers in his safe.
Hey, boys!
[ screams]
Mr. Krabs, I knew it!
You're alive!
Squidward, look, it's Mr. Krabs!
Isn't this too good to be true?
Well, it was.
You know, boys,
being sick made me think a lot.
My whole life has been about money--
saving money, collecting money, touching money.
Well, you get the picture.
But no more.
You're looking at the new, improved, non-cheap Mr. Krabs.
KRABS [ over loudspeaker]: Welcome, all, welcome!
[ all chattering merrily]
Hello, little one.
What you got there?
A Krabby Patty.
[ chuckles]
Of course you do!
You know what that means, right?
I don't go hungry?
No, silly!
It means: free toy!
Gee, thanks, Mr. Krabs.
I thought you were a cheap old tightwad.
I was, son, I was.
Free toys for everyone!
And free refills!
[ cheering]
Hello, boy.
Say, where's Squidward?
Oh, he's taking one of those break things
in your office--
I mean the "employee lounge."
[ snoring]
Great!
Excuse me, I dropped my Krabby Patty.
Could I get another one?
SpongeBob?Yes, sir.
"Krusty Krab policy clearly states
"once the burger has reached the customer,
it is his/her responsibility."
SpongeBob!
That's the old policy.
Now run back and bring out a fresh one.
Aye, aye, sir!
Sorry about the confusion.
Free toy?
SQUIDWARD: Eugene, my man.
Squidward!
How's the break coming?
Should be over in a couple of hours.
Have SpongeBob send back a patty
and an iced tea, will you?
Sure thing, Squidward.
Take it easy.
Are you enjoying your in-meal movie?
This movie hasn't even been in the theaters yet!
No expense spared for my valued customers.
Look at all those happy faces.
It sure does feel good to be generous.
Here's your mail, Eugene.
Thanks, Squidward.
You look rested.
Yeah, these naps at work are doing wonders for me.
Credit card bills.
Well, I knew this was coming.
Let's see what the damage is.
Only $10,000-- that's not so bad.
I'll just subtract it from today's profit.
[ register ringing]
And... there's no money in here.
[ laughs]
How delightful!
Squidward, I'm worried about Mr. Krabs.
Me, too-- how are we going to get paid?
Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.
Oh, it's just a bad dream.
I'll wake up soon.
Uh, "dream"?
Sure.
I'm still in the hospital
sleeping like a baby!
Um, you checked out of the hospital this morning.
Here's the bill.
You mean... I'm awake?!
[ screams]
No more refills!
Give me back them toys, you freeloaders!
Show's over, cheapskate!
[ movie audio plays in reverse]
Hey, it's my lucky day--
a penny!
Your luck just ran out!
Hey, man, ease back,
you're crushing my arm.
Unhand that penny or the arm comes off.
[ lightning cracks]
Ah-hah!
That little display of parsimonious penny pinching
just earned you a nice little spot in Davy Jones's locker...
for eternity!
I'm not cheap, I'm generous!
You almost tore a man's arm off for a penny.
Thanks, Squidward, I knew I could count on you.
Well, a deal's a deal.
Let's go.
Wait just a burger-flipping second.
Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?
That would be me: SpongeBob Back-sass Pants.
I say you got the wrong crab.
This Mr. Krabs is the most generous,
big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea.
He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.
I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.
You got yourself a bet.
Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay,
but first help me settle a bet.
If you had to choose between SpongeBob
and all the money in my pocket, which would you take?
That depends-- how much money
we talking about?
Mr. Krabs?
DUTCHMAN: Sixty-two cents.
I'll take the money.
Mr. Krabs?!
Here you go, Krabs.
Sixty-two cents.
Next stop Davy Jones's locker!
[ SpongeBob screams]
Look, Squidward, money!
Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this,
but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents?
You think I could have gotten more?
He stuck up for you and you sold him out.
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Oh, what have I done?
[ sobbing]: Oh!
I want another chance!
I didn't learn anything!
I lost my best fry cook.
I don't want this foul money, I want SpongeBob back!
[ sobbing]
[ lightning cracks]
Here, take him back.
You heard what I said about the money?
Heard what you said?
I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around.
I only had him for 30 seconds,
and it's jellyfishing this and Mermaidman that.
What "not giving him back"?
He's a fate worse than death!
He's your problem now.
[ laughing maniacally]
Eh, eh, about trading you for pocket change...
Say no more, Mr. Krabs.
You did it for the Krusty Krab.
I would have done the same thing.
You would have?
No.
[ all laughing]
[ ringing]
Dutchman's residence.
So, as I was saying,
you and me got to hang out more.
Well, what nights are good for you...
[ sighs]
[ Patrick wailing]
[ continuing wailing]
Huh?
[ screaming]
[ video game beeping]
PATRICK: Oh, I got dead again.
This game stinks.
[ screaming]
See, that's why you must always
pay attention to the mountain.
SPONGEBOB: I'm listening to you, mountain!
Don't eat the yellow sand, Patrick.
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Hey, Sandy, watch me do the "Grouchy Squidward"
Stop naming moves after me!
[ as Squidward]: Everybody's an idiot except for me.
Well, it's true.
[ imitating Squidward's laugh]
[ gasps]
SpongeBob!
Look out for that tree!
Huh?
Don't worry, everything's under control,
'cause I'm an expert...!
[ screaming "expert"]
[ stops abruptly]
Hmm... that's funny,
someone turned the mountain upside-down.
[ screaming]
SpongeBob, land on your bottom!
It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
Like this?
No, your other bottom!
Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Not until four.
[ glass shattering]
Ow, that's got to hurt.
Do it again, I wasn't looking!
Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus
has made a full recovery.
My what has a what now?
Your butt's all better.
It's really quite amazing.
It took 20 hours to put it all back together.
We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick.
Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, luck-boy.
But from now on,
I'd like you to be more careful.
One more injury like that
and you could wind up like that poor creature there--
in the Iron Butt.
Oh, man, it itches.
You heard the doctor, SpongeBob,
one more injury like that and it's the Iron Butt!
I've been too careless back there.
From now on I am on round-the-clock butt patrol.
Hey, step away from the backside
I'm warning you.
What's your problem?
That was close.
MALE VOICE: Hey, SpongeBob!
Why don't you join us?
We need an extra player.
Nice catch, Percy!
[ yelps]
Hey, SpongeBob!
You've got to try this, dude!
We finally got enough people
for a seven-mile spanking machine!
[ slapping]
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ow...!
Next!
[ screams]
[ screaming]
Is this where the line starts?
My butt is not safe out here!
[ door slams]
No part of me is safe.
PATRICK: Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, ride 'em, cowboy!
[ laughing]
[ both laughing]
Hey, SpongeBob.
[ laughing hysterically]
Ooh...[ clears throat]
That was fun.
Hey, SpongeBob, you ready
to go sand- boarding again?
SpongeBob?
Hello, friends.
Enjoying the outside world?
What y'all doing sitting in the middle of the floor?
Oh, living out the remainder of my life-- in safety.
If you guys were smart, you would join me.
That accident made me realize
that it's dangerous out there.
I was one of the lucky ones.
I'm a survivor.
And so I've simply decided
I am never leaving my house again.
That's crazy talk!
That's not crazy talk.
Thisis crazy talk.
[ jabbering]
PATRICK [ muffled]: Sorry.
No, Patrick's right, Sandy.
You saw what happened to me,
and next time it won't just be my butt,
it'll be my armpit or my forehead.
Or your other armpit!
I was wrong to go against nature.
I'm a sponge-- what was I thinking?
Walking-- my people are sedentary.
Just sitting in your house?
Ain't you going to get lonesome?
I won't be lonesome, I've got all the friends I need here.
This is Penny.
And Chip.
And say hello to Used Napkin.
How are you going to keep your job at the Krusty Krab?
No problem!
[ SpongeBob grunting]
SPONGEBOB: A reallylong spatula.
[ patty sizzles]
What about eating?
I'm a sponge!
I'll just filter-feed.
[ breathing deeply]
[ gasping]
SpongeBob, sooner or later
you're going to have to go outside.
Listen, I told you that I'm never leaving my house again!
Never-ever?
Never-ever-ever.
Never-never-ever-ever for never-ever?
Never-ever-never-never, ever-ever-never!
Never-ever-ever- ever-ever-ever-ever-ever?!
[ exasperated]: Never-ever- never-ever...
[ saying "never-ever" over each other]
All right, Patrick, that is enough!
Chip, would you mind showing these two to the door?
[ chip plinks]
[ door hinges squeak]
Thank you, Chip.
[ door slams]
I guess I'll have to find a new best friend.
Hey, Squidward!
No!
Aw.
Don't worry, Patrick.
We'll get SpongeBob to come outside,
and then he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of.
And that's when I punch him, right?
[ jellyfish buzzing]
Look at the jellyfish out here!
Too bad SpongeBob is missing out on all the fun!
I caught one!
[ electricity zapping]
[ Patrick screaming]
Look at those fools risking their lives jellyfishing.
My new hobby is much safer, isn't it, Chip?
Dust collecting.
I think I caught one!
We've got to try something else.
PATRICK AND SANDY: ♪ Three cheers
♪ On your birthday!
♪ Three cheers for you!
Now, you've got to blow out the candles and make a wish.
I don't need the wish, Penny.
Everything I could ever want is right here.
In fact, let's sing our own song
about the joy of staying indoors.
♪ I know of a place where you never get harmed ♪
♪ A magical place with magical charms ♪
♪ Indoors, indoors, indoors!
Take it away, Penny!
[ silence]
That Penny has the most beautiful voice.
That is it, SquarePants!
We're going to find something that's so dang fun
that you'll have to come outside!
Trampoline!
Ice cream!
Underwater surfing!
Two ice creams.
Ferris wheel.
Still two ice creams!
[ straining]: Clam wrestling.
Washing an old person.
Patrick, that's not fun.
It is for me!
[ gasping]
Nothing's working, Patrick.
What do we do?
I say we take a bath.
What...
Will you get out of here?
Now, remember-- don't jump out
until I give the signal.
Right.
All right, SpongeBob, you win.
Stay inside forever.
Yours is truly the iron will.
Now, Pat!
[ jabbering]
Eek! A gorilla!
Save me, SpongeBob!
[ blowing raspberries]
Okay, guys, really.
This is your saddest attempt yet.
Even Chip knows that's Patrick
in the same costume he wore for Halloween last year.
No, really!
You've got to come save me.
Hey, Sandy-- who's your friend?
But... but you're supposed to be in the gorilla suit.
I am in the gorilla suit.
I thought I was doing a pretty good job.
If you're Patrick, then who's that?
[ snarling]
[ gasps]: A real gorilla!
Huh?
[ roaring]
[ screaming]
[ shrieking]
[ screaming]
[ Patrick and Sandy shouting]
No!
[ Patrick and Sandy shouting]
Oh, my gosh!
[ gorilla shrieking]
This can't be happening!
[ Patrick and Sandy shouting]
SPONGEBOB: This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about!
Well, they were asking for it.
It's not like I didn't warn them about the dangers of outside.
Yes, Chip, I know they're my two dearest friends
in the whole world,
but I told them I wasn't going outside no matter what.
We can do without the name-calling,
thank you very much, Used Napkin.
I know, Chip, if it was me out there bagged by an ape,
Patrick and Sandy would risk anything to save me.
And I've got to do the same for them.
If I don't come back, Chip, take good care of Gary.
[ meows]
Well... here I go...
from the safety of my home to the outside world.
[ gulps]
[ straining]
[ whimpering]
[ door rattling]
I'm taking my first step.
So far so good.
I think I can do this!
[ paper smacks]
No!
Oh, dear Neptune!
Get off of me!
Chip, help me, help me!
[ gasping]
[ pops]
[ panting]
I'm still alive.
I did it!
I made it outside!
Nothing can stop me now!
Is it too late to go back inside yet?
It's too late.
[ shrieking]
Patrick? Sandy?
PATRICK AND SANDY: Yeah, SpongeBob?
I'm sorry I caused all this.
I'm not scared of going outside anymore.
But I'm terrified of gorillas now.
SANDY: That's okay, SpongeBob-- us, too.
You know what I don't understand, though?
What?
What's a gorilla doing underwater?
[ snorts]
[ man's voice]: Uh, well...
it's funny you should... You see, the...
George, they're onto us!
Let's get out of here.
[ music from TV ends]
[ TV clicks off]
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org