- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
- * OHH...
* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- * ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- * IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- * THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?
all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
[laughing]
*
[waves crashing]
[lilting ukulele music]
*
[water bubbling]
- [chewing loudly]
- [humming]
- [whimpering]
[sobbing]
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?
YOU SEEM SO SAD.
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S SAD?
THIS!
- MY HAT IS SAD?
- NO!
YOU HAVE A SPECIAL HAT,
WHICH MEANS YOU GET TO GO TO YOUR SPECIAL HAPPY WORKY PLACE,
WHILE I JUST STAY BORED ALL DAY.
I WANT A SPECIAL HAPPY WORKY PLACE, TOO!
[crying] - FIRST THINGS FIRST, PATRICK.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?
- UH...
[wind blowing]
SAND.
- OH!
OOH, I GOT TO RUN. I HAVE PATTIES TO FLIP!
BUT I SURE HOPE YOU FIGURE YOUR PROBLEM OUT.
THINK ABOUT IT.
- THINK ABOUT IT.
THINK, PATRICK, THINK.
HMM. HMM.
MMM!
[pop, squeak]
THINKING IS PAINFUL.
BREAK TIME.
- ARE YOU IRRITABLE, LISTLESS, JOBLESS?
DO YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF, "I'M A LOSER.
WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?"
THEN LOOK NO FURTHER.
I HAVE THE ANSWER THAT'S HELPED MILLIONS--
- BE ALL YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE.
JOIN THE MARINE DOLPHINS.
- [chirps]
- [laughs maniacally]
HUH?
THE INESCAPABLE DISPLAY CASE!
NO!
- ALL IN A DAY'S WORK, EH, MERMAID MAN?
- REMEMBER, IT'S UP TO YOU TO REVEAL THE TRUE FACE OF CRIME.
SIGN UP TO BE PART OF THE MERMAID MAN
AND BARNACLE BOY JUNIOR CRIME FIGHTERS.
- I GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
- FIGHT EVIL!
[squeak]
- OH, I WISH I WAS A SUPERHERO.
THAT'S IT.
I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!
TO THE CHANGING ROOM.
[grunts] [fabric tearing]
[snap]
[grunts] [click]
AHH.
[grunts]
[humming]
AT LAST, I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING.
I AM PATRICK-MAN, DEFENDER OF BIKINI BOTTOM.
OOF!
- MISTER SQUIDWARD...
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DILLY-DALLYING?
WE'VE GOT CUSTOMERS' MONEY TO TAKE.
- WHERE? [wind whistling]
- AAH!
WHERE IS EVERYBODY? [door opens]
- FEAR NOT.
PATRICK-MAN IS HERE.
- PATRICK.
I KNEW OUR NUMBER-ONE CUSTOMER WOULDN'T LET US DOWN.
- SHUSH, SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH.
IT'S PATRICK-MAN, MISTER KRABS.
- "PATRICK-MAN"?
WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS NAME IS THAT?
- OH, FORGET THE NAME.
LOOK AT THE RIDICULOUS OUTFIT.
WHAT IS THAT, A PAIR OF BRIEFS?
[both laughing]
- OOH.
BLARING EMPLOYEE LAUGHTER IN THE COMMON AREA?
[laughter]
HEY, PATRICK. WHAT'S WITH THE FANCY DUDS?
- MUST I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING?
I FOUND WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
I AM...
PATRICK-MAN!
- [gasps] THAT IS SO EXCITING!
I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL GARY, MY PARENTS, MY GRANDMA--
- SHH, SHH, SHH. SPONGEBOB...
MY IDENTITY MUST BE KEPT SECRET.
MY WORK HERE IS DONE.
PATRICK-MAN'S OFF.
THE CITY NEEDS MY HELP.
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. CAN I GET A KRABBY PATTY?
[school bell rings]
- HEY, HOW'D YOU DO ON THE FINAL?
- I ACED IT.
- ME TOO. [both laughing]
- LOOKS LIKE ALL THAT STUDYING PAID OFF.
both: HIGH FIVE.
- [gasps]
- WHOA. ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?
- JUST REMEMBER THIS. VIOLENCE SOLVES NOTHING.
- "VIOLENCE"?
WE WERE JUST GIVING HIGH FIVES--
- NO TIME FOR SILLY TALK, CITIZEN.
PATRICK-MAN IS NEEDED ELSEWHERE.
- PLEASE, MA'AM, ALLOW ME.
- HUH?
WHY, THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.
[bell dings]
- [chuckles] NOT A PROBLEM, MA'AM.
IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO--
OH! [whistling wind]
SORRY, LADY, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
[bell dings]
- OH, DEAR.
[horn honks]
OH, DEAR! [traffic whooshing]
[wind whistling]
[skids]
- OOH, SWEET DOLLAR. OH, JUST LOOK AT YOU--
SO CLEAN, SO CRISP.
NOW COME TO KRABSY--
- HALT!
PATRICK-MAN IS ON TO YOU, THIEF.
STEALING IS BAD.
BAD!
- BUT I FOUND THAT DOLLAR.
- NO, ENOUGH!
THIS DOLLAR SHALL STAY ON THE SIDEWALK,
WHERE IT BELONGS.
WITH NEPTUNE'S SWIFTNESS, AWAY!
- HEY, A DOLLAR. [laughs]
THIS MUST BE MY LUCK DAY.
- [chewing loudly]
- HELP! HELP, SOMEBODY! - HUH?
- HELP!
- SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER JOB FOR PATRICK-MAN.
[slurps]
I'LL FINISH YOU OFF LATER, DAY-OLD DOUGHNUTS.
RIGHT NOW I MUST MOVE RAPIDLY AND ACT HEROICALLY.
WHAT'S THIS? DON'T MOVE! AND FREEZE!
- HUH?
- LET'S SEE YA TRY TO BUST OUT OF THAT, BOAT THIEF.
- BOAT THIEF? HEAVENS, NO.
MY POOR STUDENT IS TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BOAT.
THE DOORS ARE JAMMED.
- JAMMED DOORS, HUH?
A LIKELY STORY.
WITH NEPTUNE'S SWIFTNESS...
AWAY!
- OH, MERCIFUL NEPTUNE, THE AUTHORITIES ARE HERE.
OH, YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE IN NO TIME.
- WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
"COPS, THIS IS BOAT THIEF."
LOOKS LIKE PATRICK-MAN CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE.
WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT SUPERHEROES?
- BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
- GRAND THEFT VESSEL IS A FELONY.
YOU REMEMBER WHAT A FELONY IS, DON'T YOU, MRS. PUFF?
- FELONY!
[stammers]
UGH. PATRICK-MAN.
[tires squealing]
- HELP.
- ORDER UP.
ANOTHER KRABBY PATTY FOR THE GENTLEMAN.
- THANK YOU.
LET'S HOPE PATRICK-MAN DOESN'T CONFISCATE THIS ONE.
- YEAH. HE DRANK MY SHAKE, TOO.
SAID IT WAS PART OF AN EVIL PLOT.
- SORRY, MA'AM. I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER.
PATRICK HAS TAKEN THINGS TOO FAR.
- HEY, THAT'S PATRICK-MAN TO YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?
- SOMETHING A NONHERO CIVILIAN COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.
YOW-OOH!
I'M ABOUT TO UNMASK ONE OF BIKINI BOTTOM'S BIGGEST FOES,
RIGHT HERE IN THE KRUSTY KRAB.
I'VE INTERCEPTED HIS EVIL SCHEME.
- YOU'VE INTERCEPTED A RECIPE FOR TOASTED CORAL BITS.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD
WITH THIS PATRICK-MAN THING?
- "OVERBOARD"?
DO YOU CALL THIS "OVERBOARD"?
AWAY, WITH NEPTUNE'S...
SWIFTNESS. [grunts]
VILLAINS AND CRIMINALS, BEWARE! [grunts]
PATRICK-MAN IS HERE!
pop!
OH!
- GOOD GRACIOUS.
- AND HE ALWAYS FINDS OUT...
WHO HIDES UNDER THE MASK.
- HEY, MAN,
I'D LIKE TO HOLD ONTO MY FACE, THANK YOU.
- OH, RIGHT.
NOW I GOT YA.
- OUCH!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK.
- WHAT?
- YOWZA.
- ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT.
- ADMIT IT, MASKED MARAUDER.
- ENOUGH!
WE'VE ALL HAD OUR FILL OF PATRICK-MAN.
- BUT I WAS ABOUT TO UNMASK A SUPERVILLAIN.
- SURE YOU WERE. [stretching]
- WHAT THE BARNACLES ARE YOU DOING?
- PROTECTING BIKINI BOTTOM FROM A SCOUNDREL.
- OH, DEAR.
- LET HER GO, PATRICK.
- NO WAY.
- [laughing evilly]
- HEY, WHERE'D HE COME FROM?
- [gasps] THE DIRTY BUBBLE!
- THE DIRTY BUBBLE?
I WANTED TO UNMASK MAN-RAY.
- [laughs]
FOOLS, YOU'VE BLOWN MY COVER.
NOW TASTE MY WRATH. [chuckles]
- WHAT NOW, PATRICK-MAN?
- SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE LOOKING AT A SUPERHERO.
SO, NATURALLY, I WILL RELY ON MY SUPERPOWERS...
AND THROW SOME STUFF. [grunts]
- [laughs] I WOULDN'T CALL THAT A TOTAL MISS.
- TAKE THIS, BEAST. [grunts]
- PATRICK--AAH!
- [gulps]
MMM-MMM. YUMMY SPONGE.
- YOU'VE DISABLED ME EMPLOYEES AND TRASHED ME RESTAURANT.
THINK YOU MIGHT GO FOR THE BUBBLE, NOW?
- I HAVE HIM RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM...
FOR THE PIT PUNCH.
[air hissing]
- [groaning]
- HA! LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.
BUT THIS TIME I ATTACK. [chuckles]
[laughing] - [whimpering]
LUNCH.
[loud pop]
[all cheering]
- WAY TO GO, BUDDY.
YOU'RE A HERO.
UH, MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
- WHY, OF COURSE, YOUNG MAN.
THAT'S "SPONGEBOB" WITH TWO SEVENS, RIGHT?
- WHAT'S YOUR NEXT EXCITING ADVENTURE, PATRICK-MAN?
- ACTUALLY...
IT'S PATRICK TO YOU.
I'M RETIRING.
HAVING A JOB IS TOO MUCH WORK.
- NOT SO FAST.
I THINK I NEED YOU TO USE YOUR SUPERPOWERS ONE LAST TIME.
- WHAT'S THIS?