*
- AS CONSORT TO THE SPIRIT WORLD,
I NOW COMMENCE THIS SEANCE.
PLOOBUS PLORUM SPAGHETTI GRANOLUM.
I NOW SUMMON THE UN-LIVING.
[eerie hum]
- WHY HAVE YOU DISTURBED ME?
- BECAUSE...
YOU KEEP FORGETTING TO REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL.
AS ROOMMATES, WE ALL HAVE TO DO OUR PART.
- I KNOW, BUT IT WASN'T ME THIS TIME.
'TWAS GALE WHO LEFT THINGS... - [gasps]
- UNREPLENISHED.
- GALE? - SORRY.
- [screams]
- [laughs] HOW CHEESY.
WHO COULD EVER BE FRIGHTENED BY THAT?
- [whimpering]
- HEY. MOISTBOB DRIPPANTS, YOU MIND?
- SORRY, SQUIDWARD, I'VE JUST NEVER SEEN A SEANCE BEFORE.
- WELL, TRY TO CONTAIN YOURSELF. WE HAVE A CUSTOMER.
- I'LL HAVE ME A "RUSTY ON RYE," PLEASE.
- CHARMING COLLOQUIALISM,
BUT LET'S TRY SOMETHING THAT'S ACTUALLY ON THE MENU.
- STOP GIVIN' ME THE RUNAROUND, CITY BOY!
I WANT A "RUSTY ON RYE," AND NOTHIN' LESS!
- JUST LEAVE IT TO ME, OH, RUSTY ONE.
PREPARE FOR A--
WHAT THE BARNACLE IS A "RUSTY ON RYE"?
LET'S SEE, "R," "R..."
"RAMBLIN' HAM," "RED HERRING," "RIB-TICKLER,"
"RUSTY PENGUIN," "SALTY STEAMER."
OH, GUESS I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A "RUSTY ON RYE."
BUT I CAN CERTAINLY LEARN.
HELP ME OUT, SIR, COULD YOU CLUE ME IN
TO WHAT WAS IN YOUR BELOVED "RUSTY ON RYE"?
- HUH? WELL, LET'S SEE... I THINK IT WAS ON RYE BREAD.
IT WAS NUMBER NINE ON THE MENU.
IT CAME WITH A SIDE OF SOMETHIN' OR OTHER, UM--
- OH, COME ON!
ARE YOU GONNA ORDER A PATTY OR WHAT, POPS?
- LET'S GET IT MOVIN' HERE! [overlapping yelling]
- WHAT'S THE BIG KERFUFFLE?
OH, IT'S YOU.
ONLY WHAT'S ON THE MENU, OLD-TIMER.
- THIS AIN'T NO KINDA WAY TO TREAT A LOYAL CUSTOMER!
- [laughs] WELL, THAT'S A FIRST FOR YOU,
AN UNSATISFIED CUSTOMER.
- [gasps] NO!
[sobbing] NO!
MR. KRABS, THERE WAS AN UNSATISFIED CUSTOMER.
WHY DON'T WE SERVE THE "RUSTY ON RYE" ANYMORE?
- BECAUSE WE NEVER DID.
THAT SANDWICH WAS ON THE MENU OF AN OLD RESTAURANT,
ONE THAT STOOD HERE LONG BEFORE THE KRUSTY KRAB.
'TWAS AN OLD RAMSHACKLE SHACK CALLED "RUSTY'S RIB EYE,"
AND THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER KNEW HOW TO MAKE THAT SANDWICH
WAS THE OWNER, RUSTY RICKETS.
HOWEVER, OLD RUSTY BOUGHT THE FARM 20 YEARS AGO.
- OOH. - NOPE.
YOU AIN'T GETTIN' THAT RECIPE
UNLESS YOU'RE VERSED IN TALKING TO THE UN-LIVING.
- I BELIEVE I'VE SEEN A PROGRAM ON THIS MATTER.
- EH, SCRAM.
THIS CONVERSATION'S MAKING ME DIZZY.
- I MAY BE ABLE TO GET THAT RECIPE AFTER ALL.
I JUST NEED TO CALL IN A FAVOR.
HI, PATRICK. SPONGEBOB HERE.
YEAH, THE ONE WITH SQUARE PANTS, MM-HMM.
HEY, LISTEN, COULD YOU MEET ME AFTER WORK?
I NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING.
YOUR BEST FRIEND, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
- GOOD NIGHT, KIDDO. - GOOD NIGHT, BOSS MAN.
PATRICK AND I WILL LOCK UP.
- FINE, BUT NO EATIN' ME INVENTORY.
- OKAY. - OR ME FURNITURE.
- WHAT? COME ON, BOSS MAN!
WE CAN'T EAT ANYTHING, WHY ARE WE HERE?
- AH, SIMPLE, MY FIVE-POINTED FRIEND.
ON THIS NIGHT, WE SHALL MAKE CONTACT
WITH THE UN-LIVING!
BY PERFORMING...A SEANCE!
- THEN CAN WE EAT SOME FURNITURE?
- NO. - [screams]
[screaming]
- AS CONSORT TO THE SPIRIT WORLD,
I NOW COMMENCE THIS SEANCE.
I SHALL INVOKE THE SPECTER OF RUSTY RICKETS
BY READING FROM THE SACRED TEXT.
"DISTILLED VINEGAR, WATER, NUMBER ONE MUSTARD SEED,
SALT, TURMERIC, PAPRIKA, NATURAL FLAVORS."
I NOW SUMMON THE SPIRIT OF RUSTY RICKETS.
KNOW, TOO, THAT I BECKON THE SPIRIT OF RUSTY'S RIB EYE.
[thunder clap]
[eerie humming]
[gasps] RUSTY'S RIB EYE! - BUT WHERE'S RUSTY?
- [mumbles incoherently]
- RUSTY RICKETS.
- A BIG GHOST? I THOUGHT WE WERE--
WE WERE CONJURING A RIB ROAST!
I'M OUTTA HERE!
I'LL GET HELP, BUDDY!
JUST GET ME AWAY FROM THIS FREAK!
- [nervous chuckle]
HE MEANS "FREAK" IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY.
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS HOCUS POCUS HOOEY.
TIME TO PUT IN SOME WORK.
SAY, RUSTY, HOW 'BOUT SPILLIN' THE BEANS
ON THE OL' "RUSTY ON RYE" RECIPE?
- [mumbles incoherently]
FLIP, FLIP, FLIP. FLA LA LA.
- OH, WELL, THAT WAS... JUST GIBBERISH.
HMM, I GOT IT!
HOW ABOUT YOU WRITE DOWN THE RECIPE
FOR THE CLASSIC "NUMBER NINE"?
- [mumbles]
- OH, RIGHT. YOU'RE A GHOST. HMM.
WHAT IF YOU JUST SHOWED ME HOW YOU MAKE ONE?
- [mumbles]
- WHOA!
GEE, RUSTY, QUITE A SETUP YOU GOT HERE,
BUT WHERE'S ALL THE SANDWICH BREAD?
THE CONDIMENTS? THE COLD CUTS?
- [mumbles]
- A RYE SANDWICH CARVED ENTIRELY OF DRIFTWOOD?
MAMMA MIA!
- [humming]
- SPACKLE.
- [humming]
- SHELLAC.
- [mumbles]
- OH, YOU WANT ME TO TRY IT?
- [mumbles]
- [chuckles] OKAY.
[sniffs] MMM, SMELLS INDUSTRIAL.
UGH! UH, I'M SURE IT'S AN ACQUIRED TASTE.
- [sniffs]
IS THAT--
[sniffs]
MMM, IT IS A "RUSTY ON RYE"!
GENTLEMEN, GET UP HERE. THE "NUMBER NINE" IS BACK.
[laughs maniacally]
[ghostly murmurs and laughter]
- HEY, I DIDN'T SUMMON YOU GUYS.
- NO, THE ODOR OF A "NUMBER NINE" DID.
- EVEN FROM WAY DOWN THERE.
- [mumbles]
[cheering and laughter]
- UH-OH, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE RUNNING LOW ON SHELLAC.
I'LL GET SOME MORE.
[mumbling and groaning]
[prolonged scream]
BOY, THOSE GUYS SURE CAN BE TERRIFYING.
[munching]
- YOU KNOW, THIS LITTLE SOIREE COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
WITHOUT OL' RUSTY HERE.
LET'S ALL GIVE A GHASTLY HOWL FOR RUSTY RICKETS!
[ghostly cheering]
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, I HATE TO BE A PARTY POOPER,
BUT IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR ALL THIS NOISE.
TIME TO WRAP IT UP.
- OH!
"BIG FACE" DOESN'T WANT US
AS PATRONS ANYMORE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE LIKE A TREE AND LEAVE!
[maniacal laugh]
[laughter]
- NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE! THAT IS PRIVATE PROPERTY!
MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD LEAVE.
- OH, YEAH?
- DO I HAVE TO CALL--
EW, ECTOPLASM.
- ENOUGH FOOLING AROUND!
LET'S HAVE A GOOD OL' TIME...
LIKE WE USED TO!
[cheers and laughter]
- [gasps]
[ghostly cheering]
- [growls]
- YOU BETTER HAVE A DARN GOOD REASON
FOR GETTIN' ME OUTTA BED, BOY.
[ghostly cheering and laughter]
- [ghostly laugh]
[laughter]
- [retching]
- THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
- [screams]
- [growls]
- MR. KRABS, PATRICK, HELP!
- SORRY, SPONGEBOB, THIS IS A PART OF THE STORY
WHERE I RUN AWAY AGAIN,
ONLY I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO,
SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO CIRCLE AROUND THE BUILDING!
[screaming]
- LOOKS LIKE A CERTAIN FOOLISH SPONGE
HAS BEEN CONVERSIN' WITH THE UN-LIVIN'.
ALL RIGHT, YOU FLOATIN' NUISANCES,
TIME FOR THE BOSS MAN TO MOP UP.
- [evil laugh] - BATTER UP! H'YA!
- [screams]
- H'YA!
- [battle cry]
AH!
all: HUH? - OH!
OH!
- YEAH, AND GO BACK FROM WHENCE YE CAME!
[loud pop]
- HI, MR. KRABS-- - NEVER HOLD A SEANCE, BOY-O,
WITHOUT ME PERMISSION,
BECAUSE GHOSTS ARE LIKE RELATIVES,
ONCE YOU LET 'EM IN, THEY'LL NEVER LEAVE.
- ORDER UP. HERE'S YOUR "NUMBER NINE," SIR.
AND EVERYTHING WAS BETTER.
- [eerie moan] - WHAT'S THAT?
- [moaning]