[upbeat music]
*
- You'll never get me secret Krabby Patty formula, Plankton.
Adios.
- Ahhhh!
[groaning]
- Hmm?
Plankton, you look like the cheese
that fell off the cracker.
I bet you tried to get that formula again.
- I don't get it.
A crab's brain is smaller than the point of a pencil,
but he keeps outsmarting me.
- [laughing and grunting]
- To give up that formula,
Mr. Krabs would have to be as dumb as Patrick.
- Hmm, yes, yes, he would,
as dumb as Patrick.
[cackling]
[breathing deeply]
- [snoring]
- One swab from the inside of his cheek should do it.
Ahhh!
Nagging Neptune!
Back, you twisted tongue.
You will not lick me.
Ahh!
- [burps]
- Sweet gaseous molasses.
Yahhhh!
Ehh-ehh-ehh!
Ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh!
- Augh, P.U.
What's that awful stench?
You're not boiling your underpants again, are you?
[laughter]
- I told you to turn off that laugh track.
And if you must know, I made sauce,
but when I add Patrick's DNA to it,
it will become salsa imbecilicus.
- Duuuhhhh.
- Idiot sauce!
[cackling]
I'll serve it to Krabs, and it'll make him so dumb
he'll just give me the secret formula.
Huh? Huh?
- I think I prefer the boiling underpants.
[laughter]
Let me do it. You always make a mess.
- Leave me be, woman.
- Don't tell me...
- [cackling]
Augh.
Oh, no. Ehh! Ehh! Ehh!
Augh. [farts]
[mumbling gibberish]
[thunder booming]
[rain pattering]
all: [mumbling gibberish]
- [humming]
all: [mumbling gibberish]
- [grunts]
Huh.
- [laughing
I've got the best taste in town...duh...
- I never thought that folks around here
were particularly bright, but this morning,
everyone seems as dumb as traffic cones.
- [mumbling gibberish]
- What happened to your head, SpongeBob?
- Uh... me make Krabby Patties.
- Uh, that's mud.
- [mumbling gibberish]
[farts]
[mumbling gibberish]
all: [mumbling gibberish]
- [laughing and grunting]
- Hey, Patrick, have you noticed that everyone's acting
a lot like you today?
- [gulps]
[balloon pops and hisses]
I don't understand the question.
[laughing and grunting]
- [laughing]
[gulps and burps]
- What in Sam Hill?
both: [mumbling gibberish]
- [mumbling gibberish]
Ow...ow.
all: [mumbling gibberish]
Ow! Ow!
- Hey, don't do that.
[together] Ow!
[mumbling gibberish]
- Lining up for the Chum Bucket?
Now I know everyone's got a hole in their screen door.
This place is ground zero for zeroes.
Zero as being everyone's collective IQ.
- Ahh!
Ow!
- And that's how the idiot sauce spread throughout Bikini Bottom.
I guess you weren't affected because you were protected
by your treedome.
- And you weren't affected because you're a computer.
Looks like it's up to us to find a cure for the town's idiocy.
- [grunting]
You not Plankton.
Me Plankton.
- We need to snap him out of this.
What's the opposite of dim?
- Bright?
- [mumbling]
- It's not working.
Maybe we can feed him something for brain food.
You're smart. What do you eat?
- Nuts.
- [mumbling]
- Oh, it doesn't seem to be working.
You know him; how do you get him to change?
- I usually just yell at him.
Get smart, dummy!
- Wise up! - Be clever, idiot!
- Know things!
- [laughs]
- [sighs] It's no use.
Being smart takes work.
- [gasps] That gives me an idea.
Come one, come all to Bikini Bottom University,
a free education for all.
There's no more excuse for being a dope.
Step right up, all you morons.
Classes are now beginning.
Aww, this isn't working. - Try jiggling the keys.
[keys clanging]
all: [gasp]
[chuckling]
- G'mornin' students.
Ehh...
all: [speaking gibberish]
- A whole school full of Patricks?
Looks like we've got our work cut out for us.
[upbeat music]
*
[bell dings]
- [gulps]
- And don't forget your last homework assignment.
- Looks like we were able to educate
the whole town in one semester.
- Yep, day after tomorrow is graduation.
And everybody learned so well.
- Everybody but one.
- [cackling]
Yeah. - School is dumb?
You misspelled every word.
- Shut up, dweeb.
- [gasps]
- Cookbooks, eh?
You holding out on me, Krabs?
- I don't know what you're talking about, Plankton.
Leave me alone.
- I know you're cooking up something special
in Home Ec, Eugene.
I want that formula!
- Um, Plankton, can I come out now?
- Did you finish my homework for me, nerd?
- Yeah.
[grunts]
You know, you really ought to do your own homework.
It's the only way you'll learn.
- I'll never learn!
Uh...ahh!
Augh!
Not again! Augh!
- This is a proud day for everyone in Bikini Bottom.
And as a treat, Squidward will play
"Pomp and Circumstance" on the clarinet.
[clarinet squawking]
all: [groaning]
- Mm. Mmm. [chuckles]
- Hurry up, Mr. Krabs; they're handing out the diplomas.
- Just a minute.
I think I've perfected the Krabby Patty formula.
[gulps]
Yes. That's it!
- Great. Well, see you out there.
- Something smells good.
- [gasps] P-P-P-P-Plankton?
What are you doing here?
- It's the last day of school, baby.
No need to be formal.
Call me Sheldon.
Great Neptune!
That's perfection!
Whoa, with this recipe, I could own
the most popular fast-food restaurant in Bikini Bottom.
- No, please. Not that.
Anything but that.
- Hand over that secret formula, Krabs.
all: Hooray!
- Congratulations, SpongeBob.
You're smart now.
It's funny that Mr. Krabs never showed up to get his diploma.
- Yeah, the only two people who didn't show up
are Mr. Krabs and Plankton.
[gasps] Let me have that diploma.
[panting]
- Hey, no running in the halls.
- Eee-eee-eee-eee.
- Here you go, Plankton.
- Mr. Krabs, your diploma.
- Thanks to this here diploma, I'm suddenly smart enough
to never give you me secret formula.
- What?
If I knew education worked like that,
I would have bought a diploma years ago.
- Of course it doesn't work like that, you microscopic meathead.
I took accelerated classes and graduated months ago.
This diploma is just a formality.
- But--but you were just about to give me the formula.
You were scared of me.
- Excellent, Mr. Krabs.
Here's your final grade for acting class: A-plus.
I really felt the fear.
- Wait. What?
Acting class?
No!
- You've finally been schooled, dropout.
- Oof.
Ahh!
[laughter]
- Come on, evil genius.
Time to start your post-college years.
- [whimpering]
[Hawaiian music]
*