- Are you ready, kids?
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
all: Aye, aye, Captain!
- * Ohh...
* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *
all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
[laughing]
*
[waves crashing]
[light music]
*
[bubbles popping]
- News flash! A severe rip current
may soon touch down in Bikini Bottom.
Residents are warned to bar all windows
and stay indoors.
[hammering]
[cow moos]
Save yourselves!
- Ahh, rip current, schmip current.
'Tain't nothing.
- Gee, Mr. Krabs, do you think the rip current
will hit the Krusty Krab?
Ahh! [imitates explosion, splashing]
[screaming, explosion noises]
- Uh, shouldn't we clear the docks?
Or batten down the patches?
Or whatever people say?
- Calm your waters!
Me sailor's knee says we're not in danger, see?
[whistling, ticking]
Now, get back to work!
- Excuse me, are we in any kind of peril?
- I think we should all go home.
- As soon as you buy some Patties to go, you can go.
- I'll have three Krabby Patties.
[rumbling]
On second thought, cancel that order!
- No takey-backsees! Three Krabby Patties.
[buzzing] [gasps]
Me money detector! Where do you think you're going?
Get back in there and spend the rest
of your money! - But I needed it for rent.
- Listen up, everybody! New store policy:
all money brought into this store
must be spent here.
- Tyrant!
- Oh! Tyrant am I?
All right, I'm a tyrant!
The worst in all the seven seas.
What of it? [growls]
- Hey, why's Mr. Krabs so crabby today?
- Probably because it's payday.
- Payday's been canceled! [feedback squeals]
Now hear this! I'm the captain of this ship!
Captain Krabs!
And I say no rip current
will ever harm the Krusty Krab!
[dramatic music]
[crashing] [chains rattle]
[screaming]
[all screaming] [crashing]
[yelling]
[grunting]
[wood creaks]
[thud]
[crashing]
[pained groan]
[duck quacks]
- Darn arthritis.
[creaking]
[chains rattle]
[yelling] [grunting]
[all screaming, whimpering]
- [growls] Hm.
[thrilling music] [key jangles]
Yah.
*
Yah! Wah!
*
[straining effort]
[popping] - Ah!
- Squidward, while I steer,
you tell everyone we're safe.
- It's all right now, everybody.
- Everything's under control now and whatever.
[whimpering]
- Three cheers for Squidward!
- The guy who saved our lives.
- Let's make him our new captain.
- Hip, hip--
all: Hooray for Captain Squidward!
- Congratulations, Squidward.
Oh, I mean Captain Squidward.
- What's the meaning of this?
- What should we do with this tyrant, Captain Squidward?
- Captain Squidward?
- Let's flog him!
all: Yeah!
- Let's tie him to the mast!
all: Yeah!
- Let's put the past behind us
and start all over!
all: No!
- This is mutiny! Listen here, Squidward.
Fun is fun, but get me out of here!
- Sorry, I don't think that's a captain's job.
You're on your own. - Hey, everybody,
can we take a time out?
This is Mr. Krabs we're talking about.
The worst tyrant in the seven seas.
- You're not helping, boy.
- You remember Mr. Krabs.
He's the man who brought you
the Krabby Patty! [bell dings]
[all agreeing]
And he's the man who brought you the double Krabby Patty.
And the Krabby Patty with Cheese.
- [yells] - And the Bratty Patty
for kids. - Um, little help here.
- He also created the Chatty Patty for teens.
And who can forget the Hatty Patty,
the patty you wear as a hat?
- I wear it because I'm bald.
- Well, I guess any man who invented
the Hatty Patty can't be all bad.
Okay, let's get him out.
- Whoa!
Man overboard!
[yells]
- No!
Mr. Krabs!
- Well, I guess that solves that problem.
["Taps" playing]
[bites, chews, swallows]
- I know you'll come back to us, Mr. Krabs!
Until then-- [slurps]
I'll leave a dollar in the window for you.
- Hey! It's Captain Squidward's fault that we lost the man
who invented the Hatty Patty.
- Yeah, we're fickle and we say
you're the tyrant now! all: Yeah!
Uhh, don't be hasty.
Remember, I'm-- I'm still the captain.
The Hatty Patty was my idea!
- But we're still stuck in this rip current!
- We'll never get out!
- Oh-- [stammers]
Ooh! [flapping sound, struggles]
Oh, barnacles! It--ow--oh, oh!
[metal clanging]
[all yelling]
[grunting, crashing]
[straining]
[screams] [popping]
[all yelling]
[crashing]
- Uh, We're alive!
Captain Squidward steered us
out of the rip current!
- How 'bout a cheer for Captain Squidward?
[all cheer]
Thank you, thank you. Just doing my job as captain,
protecting my crew.
- Whoa, where are we? [all exclaim]
- Oh, look at that. That's amazing.
- This neighborhood's crazy.
I wonder if there are any good places to eat.
- You think maybe they've got
a Krusty Krab around here?
- Hey, good idea. I could go
for a Krabby Patty. - I'm calling
the local Krusty Krab right now.
[dial tone, dialing]
[phone rings] - Hello, Krusty Krab.
- Yes, I'd like to place an order.
- Oh! [slamming]
[phone rings]
[roaring, crashing] [all scream]
- Monster! Monster!
[roars]
- Captain! - You gotta save us.
[squishing] [groans]
Ahh! Captain Squidward!
Um, I know where he is.
[panting]
[straining] Ooh!
[thud, grunts] - Uh, Captain,
sorry to interrupt, but the crew needs you
to protect them. - Are you crazy?
I can't fight a monster!
- Oh, I'm afraid the crew insists, sir.
[all growling]
[gulps]
- I don't wanna be captain!
I don't wanna be captain!
[all yelling]
all: [straining effort] Yah!
- [screams] - [munches]
- Well, that was anticlimactic.
- Maybe he'll make the monster sick.
- Okay, who had their money on Captain Squidward?
Pay up.
- Well, somebody has to step up, fight that monster,
and become captain.
And that somebody is me!
[straining]
[popping] [breathing heavily]
[breathes, sniffs]
[gags]
[gulps, gargles]
[swallows, coughs]
Hi-ya!
Huh.
Hi.
Huh? Boink.
Oh, what was I doing now?
[screaming] [gasping]
[crashing, grunting]
- Hm. - Mr. Krabs!
You're alive!
Oh, welcome back, Captain!
- Haven't you forgotten something?
I am not captain anymore.
Squidward is.
- Uh-uh. The monster ate him.
We need a captain, and that's you!
Isn't that right?
[all agreeing]
- Why would I want to be captain
to such a sorry bunch of lubbers?
I'm through. [roaring, glass shatters]
- And that's coming out of your pay!
- Mr. Krabs, this job calls for
a dictator like you!
- Hm. [roaring, glass shatters]
- Do something, Mr. Krabs!
- Beg me. [all begging]
- We're begging. Please!
[growling, slurping]
- Not buying it. [all begging]
[shimmering tone]
- Got it!
Do you know what this is, Mr. Krabs?
- I don't care. - It's the first dime
you ever earned, and I'm going to tear it up
if you don't go back to being
the meanie we need.
- I said I don't care.
- Okay, here goes.
[straining effort]
Ah. Ahh, wah!
[metal clangs, shatters]
Ah.
[saw buzzes]
- My leg!
- Ha, you lose.
- Hm. Oh!
Well then, I'm gonna do the worst thing
I can do to your old dime.
- Oh, yeah? What's that?
- Spend it.
[metal clangs] - Huh?
Hmm.
Oh, no you don't! Come here!
Gah! [thud]
All right, everybody! What am I?
all: Um-- [glass shatters]
- Come on. It starts with a T.
- A tree?
- A teddy bear?
- A tuba?
- You're a tyrant?
- I can't hear you.
all: A tyrant! [cheering]
- Correct! All right, I'll save ya.
But you've got to promise to spend most of your--
all of your money right here, got it?
[all agreeing]
[roars] [screaming]
- Hold onto me dime, boy-o.
[growls]
[screams]
[growls]
[screaming stops]
- Well, that was anticlimactic.
- Again.
[grumbling] - Ho!
Ah, ah, ugh, ah! [punching]
[vomits]
[shivering, whimpering]
Ahh! [cries]
- Oh, ah-- [punching, straining]
Oh!
Whoa!
[upbeat music]
[punching]
Beg to me.
[all exclaiming]
Whoa!
Oh!
[growls] Oh!
Ouch! Oh!
Wait a minute! Gimme that!
[bashes]
[smashing] [yells, growls]
[crashing, squealing]
[all cheer]
[bubbles popping]
- Here ya go, Mr. Krabs. You earned it.
- Well, boy-o, you believed in me,
so today will be a pay day for you.
- What about me?
- You, Ex-Captain Squidward,
have gone from pay day to Mayday!
Mush! Every last one of ya!
All the way back to Bikini Bottom!
[laughs]